Some years ago, we had the news of a younger man, professor of a university who had terminal cancer and wrote a farewell message to his young children. It called my attention and I wrote the blog for that month as if I were the one who was writing my last blog, even there was no immediate potential for me to be terminally ill. At the time, I only thought of leaving my grandchildren some ideas about my relationship with Jesus because one never knows when one could die like in auto accident.
For this blog and as you know, this coming Tuesday, August 25 I will have surgery under a general anesthetic to repair my prolapsed urinary bladder. This surgery will be a huge challenge for the doctors involved especially the anesthesiologist since my imbalance of the autonomic nervous system, something not that common in the general patient population worldwide, and my super active immune system with many, many allergies… can truly bring my demise besides the potential to survive but with loss of my memory for weeks, months or forever (as my grandmother did years ago). So, in either case, this TRULY MAY BE MY LAST BLOG. Also, as I wrote last month, I did not cover many items for the month of July because I was too busy and decided to skip them and place them in this month that would be quite short because of my impending surgery. So, this writings will cover most of the month of July and 2 weeks plus of the month of August.
And as such, I would like to explore the points that I consider to be the core of our spiritual problems as Christians in a world that ignores THE PRESENCE OF GOD, even for those who attend our Christian churches. I am very radical as I say it and I will be very radical in this entire blog and again because this may be my LAST BLOG… There is a huge majority of Christian believers who have no idea as to what it means to have a personal relationship with Christ. We say it with the presumption that we do have such closeness to Him in our spiritual lives. Yet, I wonder if all of us are truly interested in digging deep inside and find out if we truly have such gift of a deep relationship. Do I have it? I believe so because of what He did when He revealed His presence in the Eucharist and I was just 6 ½ years old. I do not recall of any time when I had forgotten Him. Just the other day, I was remembering how even when my four sons were born, by inspiration of the Holy Spirit, I would take the newborn baby in his first outing to the outside world after we came from the hospital to visit Him in the tabernacle, and I telling Him, “You gave him to me. Now I give him to You to sanctify him.” Our relationship was alive, otherwise I would not have done it, since I never heard of anyone else doing it.
Let me emphasize from the beginning that at no time I will mean that Christians do not want to have a personal relationship with Jesus, or that they do not have it because they do not care… They may be faithful people attending daily Mass and also daily reading the Bible … Notice that I am talking about people with faith, hope and even much love for God and neighbor. However, I believe deeply in my heart that there is a reason behind their lack of understanding correctly what the relationship is all about and how to start it and maintain this personal relationship with the Crucified. I say it because I have noticed and for many years that in their teaching and faith sharing moments, the subject is basically ignored and mostly because they already think they have one… So, in order to be super sure that yes, we truly have one and are growing in this relationship, we must do very specific things Well, we will leave this subject for the very end. I will now proceed to share a few things that I have lived in the last weeks during July and August.
II. GOD IN MY DAILY LIFE
Saturday, July 11
I received a letter from Medicare where they explain to me that Medicare will not pay for my stay at Muir Hospital Concord Campus back on August 20-14, 2013, my second hospitalization in that month when I had four bleeding gastric ulcers and even after their appeal…. The first one was in the same hospital chain but in the city of Walnut Creek, August 15 -18. It reminded me that it is unfair how the government refused payment and I wonder if in a near future, we old people would be discriminated by hospitals based on Medicare unjust practices!
I also have read in the general news that some terminally ill older patients hospital stay is not paid by Medicare either for services rendered … This attitude pretty much says, “Let them die and we will spend less money in cases that have no hope for survival and who are too old…” California is now seeking permission for doctors to kill patients (euthanasia). Our world is totally in the midst of looking for ways to have patients seek their own death, as a way to save money!!! Respect for the right to live seems to be disappearing and I wonder what will happen some 50 years from now when my grandkids are among the old population.
At the same time, a Dr. Fata was taken into custody because he charged insurance companies for 9,000 unnecessary infusions or injections for treating cancer in 553 patients/victims, even that these people had no cancer!!! Ouch! This is another terrible example of disrespect for life, since these patients were exposed to very toxic substances when they did not need them besides the economical side of it.
Wednesday, July 15
I was still having problems with the virus I had from the grandkids who came from Alabama for the weekend of July 4th. The previous day I had prayed 11 Rosaries, but it was by a miracle. My body was really not doing well at all. However, I was asked by the Lord to go out and buy a few things I needed for the kitchen and go slowly, but always offering my sacrifice for el Chapo Guzmán and Evo Morales, two famous names discussed last month from Mexico and Bolivia. Their souls are super important in the Kingdom of God like any of us and probably, no one is praying and suffering for their salvation. Not only this offering of the sacrifice of going shopping when I did not feel well at all was good for my soul, but it also gave much power to my intercessory prayers for other problems in the world and in the Church. I always keep in mind that the Rosary and God’s mercy are supposedly the weapons for the ENDTIMES (according to Padre Pio and St. Faustina).
On this day, I was also told by the Lord not to pray the Rosaries when doing other things like driving because this prayer is a time to ask the Father to help us and our Mother to pray for us as we contemplate the LIFE OF JESUS! I was also reminded that IF as a Church, we could start praying for His mercy for ourselves in order to love our neighbor, be it a family member, friend of enemy, and as many Rosaries as our occupation allows us, then, we could truly change the horrors enumerated above!
Friday, July 17
I celebrated another anniversary of my Baptism in the parish of Our Lady of Mercy, in San Jose, Costa Rica.
Saturday, July 18
I am convinced that Satan is after some of us in special ways… I heard in a local TV station that the 2% milk from the brand we drink with expiration date of July 29 in their label had been contaminated with very small pieces of glass… and to return it to the store… Sure enough, I had used a gallon of that 2% milk and found that at the end of the carton, it felt like it was a very thick milk… and I drank it… On this day I realized that part of my recent problems with my gut was most likely because it had been exposed to glass… Notice that it was not the 1% or whole milk or any other brand of milk. I had to be exactly what I buy…
Monday, July 20
EWTN had a magnificent Mass in honor of Fr. Joseph Wolfe for his 25th anniversary as a priest. He renewed his vows to the ministerial Priesthood and I prayed for him and offered my sickly belly for his spiritual benefit.
Towards the end of the Mass, I suddenly realized that the devotion to the Divine Child Jesus (el Divino Niño) from Colombia started in this BARRIO 20 de Julio, or this township which is called July 20th!!!! As mentioned in the blog for July, I started re-reading the story behind it and how Fr. Juan del Rizzo, a Salesian, chose this barrio to build this Temple to the Divine Child, with a statue that he had bought from a store, and realizing that many great Saints were very devoted to Him as an Infant (St. Teresa of Avila, St. Therese of the Child Jesus, St. Anthony of Padua). Under this title, He has done great miracles in the past centuries and to the present and in Colombia, they have had thousands of pilgrims going to visit him in His temple in this barrio since the 1930’s and receiving many blessings.
At 3PM, I was summoned and told that if I put together the devotion to the Child Jesus (there are many prayers to Him including one that Fr. Juan del Rizzo composed) and the prayer of the Rosary to become healed and get the grace TO LOVE my neighbor as He does, then I can bring peace to the world and the conversion of many people… Immediately, I realized that we all should do the same… If the saintly Mother Rita Antoinette Rizzo, aka Mother Angelica… was summoned by the LITTLE ONE to Barrio 20 de Julio and He spoke to her to build Him a Temple in the U.S. and she DID… and He has His OWN TEMPLE in Hanceville, AL dedicated to the Eucharist, HIS OWN BODY AND BLOOD, then, it is obvious that we should ask the Divine Child Jesus and our Mother with the prayer of the Rosary (or Rosaries) to fill us up with His mercy. I must repeat that this devotion must go hand in hand with seeking OUR OWN CONVERSION (through prayer and sacrifice with a big Yes to everything) in order TO LOVE OUR NEIGHBOR AS HE LOVES THEM and also in order for peace to come but as A PLAN FROM HEAVEN… It is all there… What are we waiting for? Please, you who are reading this blog join me and let us pray to the Divine Child Jesus and say many Rosaries but with the idea of seeking our own conversion to love everyone as He loves them, and follow this lead that He Himself has given us through His servant Angelica.
Saturday, July 25
10:30 AM – My Mother came and said, “You are worrying about things that God’s mercy will take care of, like the upcoming surgery and anesthetic. Stop and let God do His will in your life as you say to Him that it is your will as well. Simply live in the present moment, that is, present to adore, praise and obey Him! That is your duty.”
I answered: “Gracias mi Mamita.” (Thanks my mommy)
She answered, “You just thank the Holy Trinity. Nothing that I tell you or remind you of is done as my will. I only do what the Holy Spirit allows me to tell you and what He allows you to understand.”
I then said, “Gracias mi precioso Señor.” (Thank you my precious Lord).
Saturday, August 1
I celebrated another anniversary of my CONFIRMATION at age 5 in the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception in the Archdiocese of San Jose, Costa Rica. 18 months later I would be receiving the knowledge that Jesus’ Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity was truly present in the consecrated Host! I also celebrated this fact that for the first time in my life was understood as the work of the Holy Ghost in my soul.
Sunday, August 2
On this Feast of Our Lady Queen of the Angels, I rejoiced at Mass because she appeared in our country Costa Rica in the XVI century to an Indian girl, and asked for a church to be built about 45 minutes from the capital city of San Jose in the province of Cartago. Now we have a minor Basilica and many, many miracles have been granted to the people who come to see her. On this date, every year, about one million pilgrims visit her from every corner of this little country, some walking for many hours and days… Then they enter the Basilica sore of walking but on their knees. She is our patroness and I was named after her
Monday, August 3
I heard from EWTN that we would celebrate in the entire Catholic Church a day of prayer and penance on August 28! I immediately felt that the greatest form of penance is to dedicate the entire day to DOING THE WILL OF GOD ONLY! For example, if there is suffering of any kind, to rejoice for such suffering as a manifestation of our “yes” to it.
At the same time, I heard other news in the secular media that it sore of froze my heart and mind.
1) There are about ONE MILLION FROZEN EMBRIOS in the world. As you may have heard, a local MD anesthesiologist and pianist and shortly after getting married at age 46, discovered that she had cancer and went through the procedure of uniting her ova with the sperm of her husband and freezing the three embryos formed to use after she had been treated for the cancer. She ended up getting divorced and now she is fighting to own those three frozen embryos in order to have the opportunity to be a mother. The husband wants them destroyed… Ouch!
2) A Mexican actress came to say that she has been married for 11 years with the man who agreed before their wedding not to have children. She said that this is why they get along so well, because they refuse to have kids! A few days later, in the news I heard that marriages have a better chance to stay together if they do not have children!!!
3) Also days later on August 10 (and I am compiling these news together to notice how alarming these times are), a 24 year old drug addict from the Dominican Republic, city of Santiago (where my husband was born) was tied up, hit with stones and covered with a gallon of gasoline, to then light him up and burn 98% of this body… As you can see, this is demonic… From freezing embryos and possibly being used later for experiments to say that a marriage is more solid without children, and finally to kill another human being in the way this young man died, must be from Satan. If they wanted to kill him, a simple bullet to his brain could have done it!
The big question for you and me is what are we doing about it? Are we simply collectors of news? We do not need more legislation or long dissertations on the morality of these atrocities. What we need is our CONVERSION to love everyone despite their demonic possession so that under this robe of sanctifying grace, we can ask for God’s mercy under the tutelage and intercession from Our Lady. YET, ARE WE REALLY INTERESTED? I wonder!
Wednesday, August 5
I looked up my illness of imbalance of my autonomic nervous system and behavior under general anesthesia and the poor prognosis is alarming… One can die because the blood pressure can plummet and the heart can stop due to this imbalance but in the presence of powerful drugs and anesthetic gases!
Friday, August 7
I am going to share this with you and please, DO NOT, DO NOT, think that I do it just out of pride… I only do it to see how God can use our brains to do extraordinary things and do it in people who are sooo humble, like my second son with whom I share a house. Recently, and out of the blue, I found a paper with his SAT scores and he was one of only 100 high school students for that year (when he was a junior in high school) among 34,000 other students in the U.S. who had a perfect score!!! I had forgotten this fact. Then my son told me that in his test as a senior in college prior to proceed with graduate studies (which he did not pursue) he got a perfect verbal score. I never knew that! But on this date, out of the blue again and within one of my two Bibles that I keep in the couch where I sit downstairs, I found a little note from the Jesuit pastor of our Gesu parish in a suburb of Cleveland, OH, congratulating this same son for having being one of 74 students among 53,000 students for that year in the U.S. and who got a perfect score in Latin. At the time he was attending a Jesuit high school, St. Ignatius.
The reason why I share this is because I know that God was trying to send me a message by finding these two papers within the same month… So, I prayed and found out HOW FAST WE TRULY FORGET THE BLESSINGS HE SENDS US, but we run to complain about what we are lacking or about what we are suffering. This makes us exactly a replica of the people of Israel. God parted the Red Sea and moved Pharaoh to allow them to depart from Egypt, at least for a while, and later in the desert, they were complaining about what they really wanted, or to become again slaves in Egypt but eating better and having water to drink!!! Certainly, for years I had not remember my son’s accomplishments and would have forgotten them forever had I not found these two papers… And yet, I could have had a child with disabilities and a life of much pain… But on the contrary, the Lord gave me very intelligent children and very good ones. These are the moments when I truly confess to Him my stupidity and beg Him for His pardon and for His mercy to never do it again, and certainly, to be more aggressive in embracing my crosses as beautiful gifts to help convert my soul.
Wednesday, August 12
This is an email sent to my family regarding my visit on this day to the hospital where I will have my surgery.
My dear Kids: I hate to bug you with my emails because you are busy people and perhaps tired of hearing these stories regarding my future surgery. In the other hand, as you know the chances of "death" or total loss of memory after the anesthetic or due to the anesthetic are real possibilities and those who pray, may continue doing so…
I pushed big time to move the date up to visit this particular hospital and undergo all the paper work for admission and perhaps see an anesthesiologist, just to warn them about my health problems so that they may be prepared. In general, the medical community around here does not seem to be aware of POTS as an entity finally clearly identified for the last 20 years. Also, I am a unique patient with so many allergies. I was able to get the appointment for yesterday and I made a flash drive with my medical history dating for the last 40 years, when I was found to have normal coronaries via cardiac catheterization all the way to the presence of POTS, etc. I included reports from Mayo Clinic of a few cases of patients with POTS under general anesthesia. Also, the report from a conference in anesthesia where they report loss of memory after general anesthesia for 3 weeks, 3 months or forever, although they DO NOT CONCLUDE THAT FLUORIDE IS INVOLVED AT ALL. So, this flash drive can educate the doctor in charge of my anesthetic.
I spent 3 hours at the Muir Concord Hospital and it turned out to be the most extraordinary pre-operative visit ever imagined… GOD WAS ALL OVER. I was treated as if I were the Queen of England… They mobilized me from department to department in a small wheel chair and nurses involved kept saying that I had taught them so much. Of course, again, POTs was a mystery for them… The nurse practitioner, a younger woman and wonderful human being took my history and did a physical. I only had to have an EKG done right there. As I was waiting for it, another lady ran to me to offer me a magazine or the newspaper. I was simply mesmerized. Everybody kept saying that they had learned a lot… I only kept thinking that God was simply playing a trick on me to show me Who is in charge! At times I fight with Him because He is too much… He goes beyond His call of merciful love and makes everybody around become crazy about me…
But also I become sooo sad because at times I forget all that He can do and worry a little about the preparation for this surgery. I would not care to die at all… On the contrary, I can scream from a roof top that death is gain for me! Memory loss would be more of a chore since it is not fun to forget what you just did and what you are suppose to do next… However, as any human being, having to enter these places with the memory of 4 doctors who have committed major errors in their care for me, makes me vulnerable and needy.
I left my home at 9:05 AM for the 9:30 appointment (I wanted to leave at 8:30 AM since I cannot be late to anything because I was born that way) and I was very late because at the last minute I was writing a letter to the anesthesia department trying to explain what I had included in the flash drive but not to seem that I wanted to teach them at all. In these early hours, the Lord kept bugging me to trust that it was all under His protection. I had studied the map to get to this huge hospital with several entrances. Somehow, I made it in 10 minutes… As I arrived, the parking in front of the MAIN ENTRANCE was full. If I could not park in front, I would have to go to an adjacent building and THEN… WALK with the aid of a cane FOREVER TO REACH THE MAIN ENTRANCE… Suddenly, I saw an older man waving at me over and over. Sure enough, he was going to get out and wanted my attention for me to park in his place… Sure enough, I did and under a huge tree so that the sun would not get my car too hot when I was done… This was the first miracle and they continued as I have stated above. Finally, when all was done, I was placed in a wheel chair and brought all the way to my car… The nurse who did it showed me where the wheel chairs were for the day of surgery to use one, as my son takes me there and for him to wheel me to the second floor where I am supposed to start with ALL MY ADMITTING PAPERS already processed… I was home by 12:10 PM and totally in awe! Those who are praying for me have obtained extraordinary results…
THE BEST: the lady anesthesiologist who is in charge of all the pre-op preparation for anesthesia for both hospitals, Concord and Walnut Creek, works in Walnut Creek… So, the nurse practitioner took the envelope with the letter for the anesthesia department, the color copy of all my allergies and the flash drive and told me that SHE WOULD PERSONALLY GIVE IT TO this anesthesiologist and tell her that I would expect her to call me to let me know if they needed anything else. It was her idea to tell her that I expected a call in order to remind her to review the flash drive and PASS ON MY STORY TO the anesthesiologist in charge of the Concord Operating Room… It was an excellent idea. THIS WAS FOR ME THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT: to warn them ahead of time and to use the information in the little San-disk to help themselves in order to anesthetize me. This plan was from heaven and given to this nurse.
SO, if for some reason I were to die or lose my memory, you know now that I was able to warn them and that God was behind me and that His will would be also behind of whatever happens. I came on time to pray the Holy Rosary in Spanish in EWTN/Español at 12:30 PM… I had to cry to see how God is sooo alive in my life and THAT PRAYER TRULY WORKS… and how His mercy showed up to help me in the weirdest forms possible.
Saturday, August 15
On this gorgeous feast of Our Lady, I could not even attend Mass because I was feeling very ill, with much pain in my knees. I did my prayers of pre- consecration to her and did consecrate myself once more to my Mother with intense love for her… She does give me goose pumps when I realize a times and through grace, that she is really my Mom and right up in heaven praying for me… WHAT A GIFT FROM HER SON TO US! I offered my health problems all day for those who were dying without the consolation of repentance and acceptance of their impending departure.
Monday, August 17
I visited once more the urologist doing the surgery and again, as it happened at the hospital one week before, he was a delightful person with me. He even said that he would be praying for me… Apparently, I will be discharged the following evening, of course if I was not nauseous or having any major post-operative problems. I truly was amazed to see God in charge of this visit. I felt that he was my brother and he acted with so much care and love, that I became absolutely sure that prayers coming from many of you were the power behind for God’s mercy to make of this visit a wonderful moment of brotherhood/sisterhood. Of course, there are items that will be extremely hard for me, like taking laxatives for the previous 3 days (August 22, 23 and 24) in order to clean my colon. I may be allergic to the product (Miralax) that I have to take… With the extreme pain in my knees and with all the questions regarding my present poor health, those three days will be like going to Calvary carrying a very heavy cross. In the other hand, this urologist went as far as placing in his cell phone a reminder to call the night before, the anesthesiologist who will give me the anesthetic to be sure that he calls me that evening to discuss the anesthetic with me. He said, “You tell him what kind of anesthesia you want!” The Lord was truly in charge of my main fear: mistakes done because of lack of knowledge of the syndrome of POTS. Let me share with you a very short phrase from a published paper.
Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome and general
anesthesia: a series of 13 cases
Department of Anesthesiology, Mayo Clinic, Rochester, MN 55905, USA
Study Objective: To investigate whether patients with postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS) developed unexpected peri-operative complications.
Little is known about the anesthetic implications of POTS. Anesthetic techniques have been described for other forms of autonomic dysfunction but the optimal anesthetic management of a patient with POTS is uncertain.
Based on the relative absence of anesthesia literature on the intra-operative course and management of POTS, we did not know which complications to expect.
As you can read, the possibilities are many! However, with the way the Lord has shown to me His Presence in these preoperative visits, He will win the battle. If I were to die (a POTS patient did in another study because a problem with the vocal chords at the time of the placement of the endo-tracheal tube for the anesthesia machine respirator to take over and deliver the anesthetic gases), my son will be instructed to write a note in this site telling you what happened: loss of memory or death!
Again, writing as if I were to die, I am totally sure that the example of Our Mother in heaven was devised by our Creator to pass on the hints needed to develop a personal relationship with the Holy Trinity. Here are my arguments!
I have written many times about how busy we seem to be as Catholic’s or Christians of any faith and we seem to make no indent in changing the times in our pagan world. So far we only see our worldwide problems growing but the many things we have tried since Vatican II which ended in the mid 1960’s, have not worked. We had a huge growth in prayer groups, pilgrimages, an ecclesial movement that brought the presence of the Holy Spirit like never before and we have marched for peace and for pro-life issues. Yet, we are not seeing any positive changes (yes, in a minor scale but of no consequence). Our religious liberties are being trashed in the Courts. We are proud of our World Youth meetings and we should be, but we ignore what is going on with the youth in the rest of the world. This past August 17, they had a program where the teens in the U.S. chose those who are their heroes in the different areas: sports, movies, TV programs, etc. I felt nauseous. This big theater and I believe was in Los Angeles had thousands of screaming young people, among them, female teenagers showing parts of their anatomy as if they were prostitutes. I heard so many adults thanking the teens for choosing them as winners and repeating over and over that we can become whatever we want if we try hard and follow our dreams…
If this were my last blog, I have to solemnly declare that WE HAVE TO CHANGE ourselves first by praying for it to our Lord and obeying the Gospel message in order to stop this growing moral catastrophe. SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE… So, what about if I mention the things we have done and that is apparent that have not worked?
1. Reading great religious books over and over and talking about it is not going to do it. We have to read the books and practice what they say. Otherwise it is a waste of time!
2. Attending Mass on Sundays and pretending that we are good Catholics is simply a lie and a disgrace. We must attend weekly Mass as a minimum but always totally certain that Jesus is ALIVE in the consecrated Host, and therefore, asking Him to change our ways. He will but we first have to truly believe that He is there totally present in Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity. If we do not have this certainty, well, there is no problem. Just attend and ask Him to change you and give you the faith necessary… Someone asked Him if He could cure his unbelief and He did!!! When He found faith, He made a point about it and left us a clear guidance on the subject matter: if we believe in Him, He will take care of us and huge miracles will be possible in our lives and in the lives of many!
3. Saying yes to His will but actually as a form of lip service will not suffice. If I write this and not be certain that He will be present with me during my surgery where I may end up without memory or sicker than ever because of my unique health problems, then I am just a joke. Even more to the point: if I do not feel joy for His will for me at this moment, then again, I am a double joke. THE JOY OF THE GOSPEL as Pope Francis puts it, is a true statement. If I comply and believe in the Gospel and act as such, well, I will be sooo happy! Trust me, it is possible. The heaviness of the cross of each difficult event is completely annihilated by His love, that is, His mercy showing us how much He loves us through others… When someone fails you, He will place others to substitute the love that was not shown to you when you needed it. When in August 17, I visited my urologist to go over the fine details about my pre and post operative care, he came and I felt that he was just like a brother. He went the extra mile to even place in his cell phone a reminder to call the anesthesiologist ahead of time in order to be sure that I talk to someone and discuss the anesthetic… Amazing! It is in these moments that you cannot resent the one (s) that failed you because they are His babies too and my work is to love everybody like He loves me through basically strangers.
4. If we find ourselves lacking eagerness to lay down our lives for others as God did, then, I could be very active at the level of the parish but I will not be able to evangelize much.
5. If I do not keep an eye in my sinful patterns and repent and seek the confessional, then I may not be used by God to bring others to change as well.
6. If I do not keep an eye in how I use my time on a daily basis and insert significant times for prayer as a routine and for reading the Bible asking the Holy Spirit to give me advice regarding what I am reading, then my spiritual gift to the parish may not truly add anything. If I spend much time in the Internet or watching television, it can distract me from my living the Gospel.
7. If I do not try to seek the Lord and ask Him to give me love for Him and for my brothers and sisters on a daily basis, then, evangelization will not come to my soul as a natural practice of living in Him, for Him and through Him.
8. If I want to protest in the streets against the injustices committed against the human race, I must think first if I do it out of resentment for those doing it, or if I do it because I love my neighbor including them… If I truly love them, then my protest should be done in a spiritual way as follows… I could pray a Rosary for them and fast at least once per week, and this SILENT PROTEST done in the interior of my heart is more powerful than actually physically protesting. It is a matter of purity of intention… Jesus was clear about it… He sent us to do our worship in the silence of our hearts.
So, there is a master plan elaborated by the Holy Trinity to guide us to bring peace to the world and evangelize with great success. We already mention how devotion to the Child Jesus is an extraordinary way of bringing blessings to all, united with the Rosary. But behind all of this, the magic plan given to us is the YES TO GOD AS OUR LADY DID.
9. Are we ready to say yes to God’s will every day of our lives as we deny our own will and follow the teachings of Jesus? But within this context, I have to remember a few points as well:
1) I do not have to keep track of how good I am doing or how spectacularly I am obeying His will. I only have to do what she did, living every present moment as a servant and doing whatever God told her.
2) I only have to love because love can change my soul according to what God wants of me. Paul of Tarsus was very clear about it. This was the plan of Jesus as well. If do not feel love, there is no problem. I simply pray to Our Lady to intercede for me and call the Holy Spirit to change my soul and guide me to do so, since when I ask God for something so crucial like loving Him and others, He will answer my prayers.
3) The Word of God is available 24/7. Are we available to read it and act on it the best we can?
4) At each present moment, I must live in the Presence of God within and basically participate in this spiritual march that will take me to evangelize whomever He wants.
In general, I MUST CONCLUDE that as a Church, we should develop a new path to give more time to the Mary’s inside us than to the Martha’s. Retreats have not done it… I believe that retreats are attended by the same group of people… This new path should be developed in the heart of each parish where we could meet in different groups and times according to the needs, and the PRIESTS IN EACH PLACE can guide us as they practice it as well. Then, get a core group to pray and fast in each parish and for their priests to stop Satan right from the beginning.
The success should be evaluated by asking if there is joy growing within the parish; if devotion to Jesus presence in the Eucharist becomes evident; if the Holy Spirit is truly known in action and see it in each Confirmation Celebration. A personal relationship with Christ the King is easy to get, as long as we clean our brains from Marthaism and focus in the actions of Mary, and we should add the other Mary, our Mother. No evil one can stop us… We simply have to love each other and working as the Body of Christ while asking Our Lady and the Divine Child Jesus to take over each parish, I doubt that we would have to spend much time in our brains trying to form more committees and organizing more retreats!
I WANT TO SHARE HERE, how the will of God is sooo perfect that saying yes to it should be the greatest decision we make in life… In my own life, here are the facts that shows how my Lord had it all prepared (some of these facts have been written about in previous blogs).
1. When at age 6 ½ I learned about His Presence in the Host, I basically demanded to go to a semi expensive primary school that had just opened, St. Margaret Mary School, run by nuns of the DIVINE LOVE who had just come from El Salvador. There, I was introduced to the English language in my first grade! I did already notice that only one of 5 nuns was nice and loving. The others did not show the same treatment to me. I slept very near to the small chapel with Him exposed 24/7. I only spent three years in this school because of its cost.
For my seventh grade, my mother insisted that I would attend Lincoln School where English and Spanish were used on a regular basis. I was 13 years of age. I had to move to a public high school because of the expense but my English was much improved. At age 17, my public high school was chosen by the Costa Rican government to be the only female school to participate with the American Field Service Association FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN Latin America and compete and possibly be chosen to become an exchange student in the U.S. We had several meetings at the American Embassy in San Jose and after some tests, I was not chosen for this scholarship. That October, we knew that another girl had been chosen. Her English was much better than mine. Yet, the next March when our school year started and as we were preparing to give her a good-bye party before her departure the next August, I was informed that I was the one chosen and NOT HER…. I do not know what they told her but once in the U.S., I learned that my foster parents, Catholics from Boston but living in Manhattan Beach, near Los Angeles, wanted a German boy…and they did not have this choice for them, So, they chose me instead of the other girl since I was whiter and not looking like a typical Latin American. This couple in fact told me never to associate with Jews or Mexicans… SO, God used all these ways that He had not ordained for this Catholic couple in order to use it for my destiny, to learn English to write a blog for my Church and to write a book soon to be published with many important medical breakthroughs…
I remember how my foster parents became so in love with me because of my intelligence as a high school senior to the point of winning a contest about American History. My English became my easy second language. People in our parish would come to them to congratulate them because of my great way that I would receive Communion and walk to my seat with my arms crossed over my chest. For a teen on those years, this was not the common thing. Of course, nobody knew that He and I were very close friends. It was most likely the very first time that I witnessed His love for all of us. It still amazes what His will can do in our lives.
Later in my third year as a Medical Student in the city of Panama, we had an American professor come to give us a lecture on some medical topic using a tranlator. I asked questions to him but in English. My 19 other classmates could not believe that I knew English so perfectly. It reminded me and years later that I had no pride in divulging that I was bilingual. God had done his job in my soul.
My entry to the U.S. was easy because I passed very difficult tests to be able to start my internship in Michigan, near Detroit. From there, I ended up in anesthesia because my favorite cardiology specialty was not what God had for His will for me… Imagine if I had not been a physician to understand my present maladies and not an anesthesiologist to figure out how Fluoride was responsible for my memory loss and how to reverse it. This was a service to the entire millions of patients who today suffer from dementia without having Alzheimer’s… PLEASE, stop here and see how so far His will for me WAS SIMPLY A DREAM t in order to become a gift for others. He was basically helping me comply with my second most important commandment.
Eventually, I was to come and live with my second son in this particular area, full of toxicity… As mentioned before, I live next to a very busy expressway and short miles from the Tesoro Refinery, which recently has been penalized for not keeping this place safe even for their employees. So, petrochemicals are all over me and my toxicity has augmented, even that I do not drink tap water not use tooth paste with fluoride. My imbalance of the autonomic nervous system has become a nightmare precisely because of the toxicity in my body. As of recent, I have had some memory loss since I am allergic to take the chemical that our livers produce, glutathione, to normally detoxify our bodies. So, this sacrifice of an immune system also penalized by so many toxics and the imbalance of the other nervous system, were His will to be able to write about it and instruct many in the sciences to bring some answers to so many patients.
AS YOU CAN SEE, a yes to His will like our Mother gave Him was EXTREMELY PERFECT FOR ME, in order to make me grow spiritually with these huge crosses and help my neighbor with these findings that are nowhere in our medical thinking. No submitting to His will on a daily basis, the good, the bad, the in between is one of the greatest mistakes. SO…
If I were told that this will be my last blog, what would I want to share with you?
I would say to stick to your crosses and say yes to His will, because the end result is a wonderful extraordinary personal relationship with Him, by living, doing and sharing things that will help our neighbor, a form of deep love for everyone. The moment we refuse to do His will or complain about the cross that it represents, that same moment we are in a way repudiating to love our neighbor, by lying down our lives for their sake.
If I do not write any more blogs for whatever reasons, please re-read this one and place it at the feet of the Holy Trinity for God to show you if it is what He wants for everyone. Thank you for your prayers.
P.S. Again, my surgery will start at 1 PM, Pacific Time on Tuesday, August 25 and will last close to 3 hours, if there are no complications. If everything goes well, I am supposed to go back home the following evening. I am supposed to have a full recuperation in 8 weeks time. Any prayers for me are deeply appreciated.