Seeking a deep personal conversion and as never before!

I. INTRODUCTION

In this month’s blog, I will share many beautiful things that God’s mercy did for me since I posted the previous one… But first and as you remember, I had announced the possibility of stopping these blogs with this one being the last one… Of course, this God of ours is too clever for someone like me who has no theological background and sent me clear messages that blogs cannot be stopped for the time being! I am sure that your prayers brought His mercy over this topic. So, I will start with the three ways that He sent me with the advice not to stop them! At the same time, remember that this means that once in a while I will have to be a little preachy regarding self conversion matters, and this month I will have a major discussion on how to do so in order to move this mountain of worldly horrific events that transpired in this month dedicated to His Sacred Heart, so to move it and let it go into the bottom of the sea…It is time that we stop being deceived with so many God-less ideas and lies around and pretend that we are religious and devoted to His love. Enough is enough! There you are: more blogs and more hard talk on certain subjects… Sorry!

Above all and once again, the core theme for this blog has to do with my intense training in reaching the Year of Mercy with a major conversion in my heart as to how I have to place His mercy at the center of my life for the many spiritual aspects that I have not yet conquered. The times are worse than ever and during the last 4 weeks we have seen the evil one working overtime, and the sad part about it is that we only complain but have not taken the bull by the horns placing His mercy at the center of this issue. We complain as if we truly are in trouble when we are not… The power of God’s mercy THROUGH us can dispatch Satan in seconds but only if we believe that it is possible. I am now convinced that most of the Church, including myself, has a sense of being martyrs and therefore, victims. Of course that we are but because we allow it… This focus in the bad we suffer totally gives us a cloudy view of who we are and it is that WE ARE KIDS OF OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN… and therefore, destined to live in the power of the Triune God forever and ever. Come-on  Let us wake up and act and think as Daddy’s kids… When you learn about my story’s for this month, you will find out how powerful His mercy is… I only have to ask for the grace to understand how crazy our Dad is for us, starting by sending His only Son to die for us and on top of it, to stay with us, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity until the end of time … This is not a probable story or a parable… This is real!!!!

Here are the instances of how I was led to understand that I have to continue writing these blogs:

1. Sunday, May 31. –  6:30 AM – I listened to the 30 minutes Sunday Mass from New York by the Passionist Father’s – Fr. Edward Beck talked about the importance for all of us, religious and laity to share our gifts! He asked, “How many of us do it?”  His homily on the Holy Trinity was short because of time constraints but clear as well. Each Sunday, I watch this Mass because of my encounter some year ago with the founder of the Passionist’s, St. Paul of the Cross, and this Saint as mentioned in previous blogs, came to my life in Toledo, OH in the early 2000… I have in my storage place a church size painting of his plus I have read many of his teachings…. Since I have been discerning if stopping these blogs and the month of June being the last one, this priest’s words intrigued me.

2. On Sat, Jun 6, and before my afternoon driving test at the DMV, I was up for the Live Mass at EWTN and there were several priests concelebrating. Of course, this was a First Saturday and very special for me even from far away. The homily was delivered by the Superior General of the Passionist’s, again, the Order founded by St. Paul of the Cross. So, when I realized he was the Superior General of this Order, it immediately called my attention. He is Indian and spoke only for 7-8 minutes but covered tons of territory… Yet, he was sent to me to bring me a message.

This priest developed the topic of our service to God and neighbor… He said that we could work for the poor, feed the hungry, love everyone but that no matter what we give to others, even our own witness to uplift their faith, this is what God wants us to do and expects of us… Immediately, I knew that my Lord had sent this priest and no less than a Passionist to give me the answer about stopping the blogs or not. It was an extraordinary moment to see how God can truly answer prayers…

3. Saturday, June 27.

Out of the blue, a tiny book in Spanish titled, “Biblical Novena,” covered the entire story of the Divine Child Jesus’ devotion in Colombia, South America. Of course, I had bought it many years ago because this is the image that spoke to Mother Angelica from EWTN back in the 1980’s (not certain about the exact year) and asked her to build a sanctuary in Alabama. And this led to the construction of the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament in Hanceville, AL. In one of the pages of this little book, they quoted Tobit 12: 6-7a; 20, the part where the Archangel Raphael revealed his identity to Tobit and his son Tobiah.

(The story says that when the wedding celebration for Tobiah came to an end and shortly after his father Tobit was cured of his blindness by the Archangel Raphael plus he already had cured Tobiah’ wife from the demon that made her kill previous husbands, Tobit told his son to see to it to give Raphael a bonus for making the journey back with him and the other benefits received).

“Raphael called the two men aside privately and said to them, “Thank God! Give Him the praise and the glory. BEFORE ALL THE LIVING, ACKNOWLEDGE THE MANY GOOD THINGS HE HAS DONE FOR YOU, BY BLESSING AND EXTOLLING HIS NAME IN SONG. Before all men, honor and proclaim God’s deeds, and do not be slack in praising Him. A king’s secret it is prudent to keep, but the works of God are to be declared and made known… Behold, I am about to ascend to Him Who sent me; write down all these things that have happened to you.”

II. SHARING BY DATES

Sunday, May 31 – Feast of the Most Holy Trinity

5 AM – Mass in EWTN with a priest and great homilist, Fr. John Paul, who delivered a wonderful homily explaining the mystery of the Holy Trinity. Yeah, it sounds like a crazy statement… Who can explain mysteries since they are mysteries? Well, he did a great job and I taped it later in the day and sent it to my oldest grandchild in Nebraska for his birthday on June 24. It was clear enough to leave an understanding that is necessary for children like him, 10 years old. He is home schooled and I am sure that it will be of some help for his parents. I took notes which I will share with you, even if you may find it boring because I do not know who reads this blog. However, it may end up in the hands of families that may find it helpful, especially for children. Its content may also help any person who is a catechist and in general, it helps all of us as a reminder to live in worship of the Triune God within. These are my notes and I hope they reflect what this priest said exactly and not paraphrasing him too much.

The essence of the Holy Trinity – “The Triune God is ONE GOD with three Divine Persons and they share the same SUBSTANCE, the same divine essence or the same divine nature and this is why we say in the Creed the word consubstantial.  To give an idea of this mystery let’s consider water. Chemically, it has the symbol of H2O and it is its nature. It only has one nature. Is it possible to have several related forms within one nature? Yes because water can be found as liquid, ice or steam. (My words: this is a precious way to explain it).

In the case of the Holy Trinity, when one person acts, all act, all are present. Jesus said, “Go and teach all nations, proclaim the Gospel and baptize them in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.” He did not use the plural and say, “In the names of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.” No, because the three Persons share the same essence or substance. One of these Persons became Man and assumed a human nature. Making the sign of the Cross summarizes the Christian faith. God the Son has two natures, divine and human. When we make the sign of the cross, when we bless ourselves with Holy Water, we are making a profession of faith in one Baptism. The One God, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, is dwelling within us and just by that very action we receive grace that strengthen us.

Do we really let it sink in our every fiber of our daily life? God sanctifies my mind, my lips, or whatever comes out of my lips to praise God and not to put down other people. He sanctifies my heart, my will. The Sign of the Cross was made 52 times by the priest in the extraordinary form of the Roman Rite before Vatican II. We should make the sign of the Cross throughout the day: when you wake up, before spiritual reading or before homework or any assignment, and while calling to mind the Holy Trinity. It is easy to think that God is far from us and this is the farthest thing from the truth, because God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit actually live within our souls! The sign of the cross is like if someone prostrated himself to worship the Triune God within himself.

If we really believe that this Triune God is within through sanctifying grace, how does that affect how we live? It should affect all aspects of my life, my whole moral life. It should affect how I interact with others or how I treat my body as a temple with God indwelling. Through our Baptism, God comes to dwell within us, not next to us but within us! He comes to take residence in our souls as one God with three Divine Persons. We are never alone this side of heaven! Often say the prayer found in the recitation of the Rosary à Glory be to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be. (End of notes).

Monday, June 1.

I was hoping that I would hear something from Sacramento, the State capital, regarding the investigation of my driver’s license but nothing came. I had been advised by the investigator to call Sacramento after 3 weeks of waiting and this day marked the end of 3 weeks.

Also on this day, Ireland, which 70% of its population is registered as Roman Catholics, approved the performance of same sex marriages! Little did I know that we were going to be in the same predicament!

Tuesday, June 2

My Mother in heaven said, “The most important job is to proclaim the Kingdom. Therefore, every time that you enter your car to go out, 1) call the Holy Spirit and ask Him to lead you to your brothers and sisters in need of evangelization. Become another Jesus to others with a love that you did not know you could have for them. 2) Ask also for the grace of trusting in my Son’s mercy AND DO NOT WORRY ABOUT YOUR LIFE in any way or form… Zero… Tomorrow, call Sacramento but before you do, say a chaplet of Mercy for all the people involved in your case in the State’s capital. I will be praying for you.”

Wednesday, June 3

I made the phone call and talked to Irene. She was nice and said that all was well and that my name had been cleared and to proceed making an appointment for the driving test.

Thursday, June 4 combined with Saturday, June 6.

I visited the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) and was surprised. But in order to save more work for my eyes, here is the email I wrote my kids on June 6 about the subject matter.

Email:  no doubt that God exists and that His mercy is an atomic bomb… I was cleared at the level of Sacramento regarding my investigation that almost became a hacking of my driver’s license. I waited for 3 weeks to get the results and did not get them by June 1. So, as advised by the investigator, I called Sacramento on Wed. June 3 and was told that indeed I was cleared and that I could continue in the pursuit of my driver’s license. 

Today, I went early to the local DMV to get an appointment for the driving test. I knew that it takes several weeks to get one. HOWEVER, I was offered one for today Saturday, or in 48 hours to have the test at 2 PM. This is miracle No. 1 because waiting and waiting is very hard on my nerves, especially because it was yesterday (Friday, June 3) that I visited the optometrist from this Dr. B’s office in San Leandro, the man who messed up my good right eye. She, Dr. Angela W. is excellent… I still could not read names of streets. On mid May my retinologist Dr. D.B. had found the right eye in perfect health and actually seeing better than in previous visits… So, yesterday, Dr. Angela W. fit me for glasses that will allow me to read signs of streets. She also said that my eye is in perfect health and no worse than before… I suspect that whatever happened on that terrible day of April 8 when after the laser treatment I could not see at all with the good eye, it did affect my refraction prescription. She also did not charge me for the exam…!!!! 

I prayed a lot today and also in recent days as asked to do last May 4 and I have been praying 4-5 Rosaries a day… So, for a month I have I asked for God’s mercy, that is, His love for us as revealed in daily events and prayed for the DMV people of this entire State… They have done too many mistakes at all levels. Of course, I have found a few angels, like Mrs. Tina V, one of the managers who works at the local DMV. She has been outstanding and has gone the extra mile to help me… 

I arrived early and went to the desk No. 17 and it was 1:20 PM… They asked me to sit down. They could not process me because it was too early and to come back at 1:45 PM for the 2 PM appointment. I did so and things started to get horrible.

 

1) This Concord DMV had not received any Internet message that I was cleared of all wrong doing… The woman taking care of me went to consult with the manager who turned out to be ANITA V.!!!!!!!! She asked if I had received a letter from Sacramento. After I told her the entire story, she said that unfortunately she could not do much because I was still in trouble in the Sacramento Internet site!!!!!  

2) She also said that she would try hard to find out but being a Saturday, it was almost impossible. She explained that what had happened is that the department of investigations NEVER communicated my clearing to ANOTHER DEPARTMENT WHERE THEY HAVE THE RECORDs for ISSUING ME A DRIVER’S LICENSE… I asked, "Why?"  She said, "Mistakes! They should have done so." She asked me to go and sit down and see if she could do something or at least she would try…  

3) By now it was 2:20 PM…. I sat and asked the Lord what in the hell was going on… I was not mad but had an inquiring mind! We had made a deal by which, I would enter this place as a winner of this battle simply because His mercy would  take care of everything. For those who may question this kind of conversations, the entire episode was related to my lack of trust that He could do so… I finally understood that I had to truly expect His mercy to win the battle but from deep in my heart, and not just pretending that what I had to do was to expect His mercy to do it… Notice the tiny difference in my state of mind, and how the Holy Spirit was assisting me in seeing my own fault… In other words, I had to enter this DMV office with total certainty that the Triune God was in charge because He loves me soo much, that He would demonstrate His love by winning this battle… Said differently, this was a training exercise in my approach to any problem in my life… That is, when I have X problem, 1) I then ask Him to do whatever He finds I need to receive: solution or not… If this was not resolved, it was due to my need of further conversion to believe that He is fully in charge… 2) I would then pray to receive the grace to enter this feeling or conviction in my mind and heart that He loves me and that He has proven to me so many times, and of course, this time was no different. If He did not correct it, my next step would be for me to say yes to it or accept it, out of the conviction that He wants only the best for me, and in some cases He wants me to GROW IN TRUSTING HIS LOVE FOR ME… The entire exercise is an obvious extraordinary moment to grow in faith at all levels. God is sooo amazing! 

At 2:30 PM, I heard from within as He said, "You will have your test today during the 3 PM hour, the hour of My mercy, and as promised to St. Faustina, anything you ask for at that time, will be given to you since this is the hour when I died for the entire humanity out of love for all of you. Mrs. V. will get an answer today and you will have the test today and pass it around 3:30 PM. My Mercy will see to it that it happens." —- I TRULY BELIEVED THAT HE WAS SAYING IT (His mercy had entered my mind and heart at this point)… and simply because He loves me so much and wants me to GROW IN BELIEVING SO…

Sure enough, at 2:50 PM, Mrs. V. sent the papers to Dolly, who said that I could go to have my driving test. When I arrived at this DMV, I had noticed that there were only 2 cars in line for this test. By now, still there were only 2 ahead of me and not 5 or 6 during the week, which makes it eternal since each driving test takes about 10 minutes per passenger…. Huh! An old woman, American, came and at the beginning was a little tough and rude, as all of them are… She wanted me to show her where the switch was for turning the lights on and started fighting with me because I was touching one same gadget that controls the left turn signal and the lights, and I was right. By the time she came in the car, she was a little difficult saying that if this really was my car? I said, "Please, be kind because I have driven for 50 years and have a clean record. Also, I am a physician and know what I must in my car." Of course, this was a signal (not planned but inspired by the Holy Ghost) to let her know that my age and Hispanic origin had no impact on me as a human being and driver. Notice how God was in the process of winning this battle in the heart of this driving inspector. Discrimination is normal in our times and I have suffered even since I came as a teenager as an exchange student. Then, the hosting foster parents from Boston and deeply Catholic living near Los Angeles, told me never to talk or make friends with Jews, blacks or Hispanics… (Ouch)…

 

This lady asked me if I normally drive in the expressway. I said, "Yes." Then, I started driving and I had reviewed in the last hours the book they publish as to how to take a driving test, pros and cons, etc. After about 10 minutes of driving in different areas, and I adjusting the velocity to the type of area with much care and also switching lanes with extreme care to do everything perfect, etc., we came back to the DMV parking lot and WE NEVER WENT TO THE EXPRESSWAY. Because of my present glasses giving me a cloudy vision, this was a major gift for me.

 4)….. THE BEST AND GREATEST MIRACLE–> She said, "I am going to give you a driver’s license for 5 years (versus not just 2 like last time on account of my bad eye) and I will do it because you have driven too perfectly and beautifully…"  She wrote a bunch of stuff and told me to go to window 17 to have the final processing done. This meant that I would not have had to take the written test in 2018 as I should… and this was explained to me before in another visit… The written test is tough since it covers so much… Now, I have to go back in 2020…. I never paid them the $33, and inside I mentioned this to another lady who knew of the mess, she said, "They should have charged that before, and I am going to ignore it altogether."  (Note written later than this email: my driver’s license arrived to be renewed by 2018 (just 3 years)… This time they did not make an error in Sacramento. They realized that in 2018 I was due for a written test and acted on it…)

 THEREFORE: GOD EXISTS AND HIS MERCY, as He said to St. Faustina, is a power house as long as I  mean it when I say, JESUS I TRUST IN YOU, and as the Mercy Image says at the bottom. We simply have to grow in this truth… In the Old Testament, the Israelites would pray for His mercy and they would win battles with enemies with no problem (Book of Daniel). Well, today, HE through HIS MERCY WON A HUGE BATTLE FOR ME…

 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THOSE WHO HAVE PRAYED FOR ME… WOW… Prayer works… not only for the good results but in advancing me in my trust on Jesus’ Mercy for me. (End of email).

 

Sunday, June 7

After Communion, the Lord said, “Do not think much about errors in the Church or scandals. Instead, concentrate in the blessings you have received, and a good example is what happened yesterday with your driving test.” I then asked Him if I had to continue writing blogs after this one. He said, “Yes, keep writing.” By now I had received the first sign mentioned above

I wrote in my journal: “I had been suffering from much pain in my knees. This Sunday was no different and it required a double dose of Tramadol to make it tolerable to go to Mass. However, after the miracle of the day before and the huge display of God’s mercy, I have nothing to worry about!”

Wednesday, June 10.

I heard a good religious program in EWTN in Spanish and regarding how to get along among married couples or the do’s and don’ts. For some of us, this would have been an impossible task in our marriages. Looking back in my own experience, there is no question that God was there with me and guided me in so many ways. I then started to think deeply about how to help families in their day to day relationships, and not only among couples but with the children as well.

Suddenly I thought of our Mother and how she was told that she would be impregnated with the Messiah King by the Holy Spirit and she said “yes,” only to turn around (fully impregnated by the Triune God…) and leave for her cousin’s residence (some kilometers away) to help her during the last part of Elizabeth’s pregnancy. Notice how God was in charge. Later when the baby was born, St. Joseph and she had to leave their home and migrate to Egypt… Who took that decision? I am sure that these two holy human beings had no problem knowing what to do. In another occasion, the young Jesus got lost… and was found teaching in the Temple. It is clear to me that they did not have any idea of the rules for getting along among themselves and proceeded wisely simply because their lives were spent just doing God’s will…

In our times, we have too much psychology… Too  much! In September we are going to have a meeting of families in our land and I hope that one element that would be discussed is how we all have to moment by moment MAKE A DECISION TO ONLY SEEK GOD’S WILL, and doing all that is necessary to say yes to it in order to receive AND HEAR the proper guidance, yet, always filled with total trust that this is the ONLY WAY…  The psychology of do’s and dont’s has no place.  We should start accepting that the science of psychology has much to explain but that at the end, it is impossible to REMEMBER what to do in each occasion!  Just think this over: would any of us have the memory to apply what we heard from psychologists? In the other hand, the science of the Holy Spirit present in every yes to God’s will should be emphasized over and over, if we want to have holy families. This also applies to so many committees and organizations regarding religious formation since we could stay in the planning of what to do and why to do it but pretending that the Holy Spirit is doing it for us… I doubt it. I can only ask for His mercy to come and take over all hearts so that we seek God’s will and only God’s will and by doing so, receive the gifts of the Spirit to proceed in each instance. I have lived this reality in the times I had to work much, be on call and raise four boys. I MUST REPEAT that I did not know what I was doing but grace abounded!

I only can report that I sought my Lord day in and day out… When doing locum tenens or working far from my home for short periods of time, especially after any major professional persecution, my first question was to check in the hotel’s desk that the anesthesia department had secured for me, regarding where was the nearest Catholic Church. Once I called them, I would ask if they had daily Mass, times and Eucharistic adoration times if any. If not, an open church would do it since He was always waiting in the Tabernacle. This is a way of life. I never tried to remind myself of what to do. I had a relationship with Jesus for several years, and I had the grace to seek Him in His Eucharistic Presence no matter what.

At the beginning of my adult life, I did not know what was expected of me as a professional, a mother and a wife. I only knew that I belonged to Him. I did attend many retreats and Charismatic gatherings, but later, they did not help much, especially in the difficult years after Vatican II when you could find many conflicting ideas regarding our Faith. I then read many books, the best of all, and mostly about my favorite Saints. Those for that period of my life helped me much. They were clear about the crosses suffered, like St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross. Yet, in time, they were not adding much to my spiritual growth. It was best for me to sit in His Presence and just be there with Him. The Rosary was said often, but in time, it became my daily prayer without forgetting about it. Later, I prayed as many Rosaries as I had time for, and my Mother became my best friend. All of this was carried out by pure grace since my work for my family was always central and I never complained about the excess of work. This is the psychology from the Holy Spirit: He ran my soul… and I never had a son of mine giving me any problems as teens, for example. They have been marvelous human beings to this date.

Friday, June 12

I went to Mass because it was the Feast of the Sacred Heart, and in my infancy, it was under this title that He revealed to me that He was present in the Consecrated Host. I will never forget how I begged my family and only at age 6, to send me to do my first grade at the school of St. Margaret Mary Alacoque with the nuns of the Order of Oblates of Divine Love. They had come from El Salvador and it was their first year in Costa Rica.  My First Holy Communion was celebrated midyear of my first grade on a Friday, June 8th, Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. How to forget such a love affair I had at the time! I was already a mini sacristan helping the sacristan nun take care of the wax from the candles that would spill on the floor. Being near Him after school hours was just fantastic!

As recently written, going to 8 AM Mass requires me to take the pain medication in a double amount around 6 AM and leaves me with only 2 tablets till the following day. Because the pain is so brutal, if I do not take but only the 4 tablets in a day, my blood pressure goes up due to the pain not properly treated late on the day. I thought of asking my primary physician to order 5 pills per day, but after much prayer, I understood that if 4 tablets keep me very groggy, 5 would make it worse… It is in these circumstances that I simply turn to Him and ask for His mercy to resolve this problem. I have noticed that doing at least 2 sessions of imagery to quiet my immune system, the one that reacts to food and produces chemicals that give me the pain in my knees, my general pain goes down. So, this may be the answer for the moment.

But on this Feast, I did attend Mass to thank Him for His love and mercy for me. I also asked for mercy for all of us in the world. The final games for the NBA championship were going on and Cleveland is a dear city for me and family. The Warrior’s team is from Oakland, the seat of my Diocese. I mention this because locally we learned that every ticket for seats up in the stands had a minimum cost of $750. Yet, tickets at the floor level, were $55,000… This is a horrible reality… To pay so much money to watch a ball being taken back and forth to make it pass through a basket, simply proves up to what point we have created gods, which we adore… God allows me to watch the games only if I use the time for prayer for the players, owners, coaches and the people present in the arena. Ah… but this prayer is not just words… O no… I have to pray over and over for myself first in order to be given the grace to love everyone there, but truly felt as love. Next to this sentiment of love of neighbor, I would pray he chaplet of Divine Mercy over and over. And yes, the Lord answers this kind of prayer always and there are moments when my love for all is very evident and deep to the point of shedding a tear here and there wishing that God’s mercy would sanctify their souls.

Saturday, June 13. Feast of the Sacred Heart of Mary

While praying the Rosary with EWTN at 8:30 AM, I understood many things and wrote them shortly after:

1) Always remember the words à “Ask and you will receive,” but also realize that at the same time, you must be saying “yes” to God’s will for you. For example, Our Lady asked for water to be presented to her Son to make wine. However, she always said “yes” to God’s will as a way of living, and her Son made the wine. Since the first “yes” to God’s will to be the mother of His Son, this yes came of her with full trust that God loved her. There was a relationship of pure love between God and her, His creature, and in this state of mind, prayer is always answered as the will of God has determined and much peace is experienced with whatever answer we get.

2) The Rosary therefore, represents a recollection of this personal relationship between God and us.

a) The Our Father praises the Father and accepts to do His will followed by personal petitions with an act of repentance and asking for protection from the evil one.

b) The Hail Mary exalts our Mother with Biblical words and asks her to pray for us.

c) The Glory Be is a Trinitarian prayer exalting God.

3) It is in this way that the Rosary becomes a celebration of our personal relationship that started in our Baptism when we became part of the family and refers to the Holy Trinity plus the human being created without original sin, as the ever present source of protection for our walk as a Family. This is how the Rosary is such a powerful prayer.

Tuesday, June 16.

I had made an appointment with my primary physician Anita in order to get a new prescription for my pain medication. Out of the blue and not in my human plans, I asked her for the name of a urologist who could fix my bladder that has dropped through the years, forcing me to pass urine about every hour… I have prayed much about it asking for His light in deciding to visit the same urologist who saw me 2 years ago. He had studied my problem and offered to place a piece made of some metal to push the bladder up. The young man graduated from a wonderful school of medicine in Atlanta, yet, he only could offer something that he even agreed with me that it would not function well in my case. Of course, with all my allergies, I questioned the fact of a possible allergy to this metal. This time around, I begged the Lord in His mercy… to guide me in this issue and suddenly I found myself asking my primary physician for a referral!

My problem is huge because if I were to have a general anesthetic I could lose my memory… as it happened to my grandmother, again, due to my poor natural detoxification and since all anesthetic gases are fluorinated and I could suffer acute dementia. Of course, there is the hope that if lose my memory, I will recover it with intravenous glutathione, which by the way is very expensive. Yet, there is no present science available except my own experiment of reversing my memory loss with detoxification. In the other hand, due to toxicity poorly handled by my body, my autonomic nervous system, the system that controls our blood pressures when we get up or lie down, suffers from imbalance and it does not work as it is supposed to do. In this case, a spinal or epidural anesthetic could be very dangerous because the local anesthetic opens up the arteries below the waist for at least 2 to 3 hours, or in the part that is anesthetized. So, to keep a good blood pressure, we have to treat it with fluids and drugs that can close the vessels. In my case with imbalance of this autonomic system, it may be impossible to do. It would require placing a catheter in one of my wrist’s artery to CONTINUOUSLY monitor my blood pressure on the screen of a computer and treat it accordingly! It calls for a super smart anesthesiologist and I have met many that are poorly trained. This problem gets worse because this imbalance also known as POTS is poorly known.

My problem starts by informing the urologist of this potential problem for him to look for an anesthesiologist who could tackle the issue, and all discussed on my part under a severe code of humility. I have found out that many “doctors” who are used to being treated as heroes and geniuses will not tolerate any insinuation to be told what to do! On this day, out of the blue I asked Dr. Anita if she knew of a good urologist and yes, she gave me a name of one who specializes in female urology. I do have an appointment for July 6 and if you remember, please keep this whole issue of surgery and type of anesthesia in your prayers for me.

But even in these circumstances, my living of the Gospel requires that I CANNOT WORRY ONE IOTA ON THIS MATTER. His mercy will guide me and others to receive the care that God allows. Yet, Satan and the flesh of those taking care of me can trigger a difficult time. So, your prayer would be principally for the enemy and the flesh of these health care professionals not to interfere in the entire decision making. Also, the urologist may not believe my story of having reversed my dementia and its connection with fluoride and anesthetic gases, since nowhere in the scientific world it is written of someone who reversed dementia… Discrimination is a real danger as well! On my side, as the time approaches, I find myself thinking about it and how difficult this day of July 6 will be for me. Every time, my Mother comes to the scene and reproaches me for all fears felt. There is no question that this appointment carries with it a major invitation from my Lord to REALLY TRUST IN HIS MERCY… And of course, it is part of my preparation for the Year of Mercy!!!! Again, your prayers will be simply a dream for me in order to be protected from Satan, the world and my own flesh. Thank you.

Wednesday, June 17

I took the prescription for Tramadol obtained the day before to Walgreens and found out that God keeps allowing strange things to happen in my life and  precisely for me to trust Him moment by moment. My previous Tramadol prescription had an ending time of June 22. This is a new prescription for which I had to make an appointment and they gave me one for June 16. On this day, I was called to the main desk of this pharmacy to tell me that they could not fill it out because it was too early to do so. I had to come back in 5 days. I became super mad… I told them that I was not a drug addict and was a physician and had handled narcotics forever and never got attached to them. Obviously, my gender, age and Hispanic ancestry makes them be so fast in judging me plus according to the science of addiction, I could be in denial… They claimed that it was the law unless the doctor gave permission. I told them to go ahead and call her because my entering this big building and walking all the way to the pharmacy section was costly for me due to the pain in my knees and use of a cane, and that coming back again was simply an injustice. The young girl told the pharmacist and within 10 minutes the prescription was ready… They called Anita and of course, she probably was as surprised as I was… Well, this is from Satan. No law would make them deny filling out this prescription written 24 hours before by my doctor and 5 days short before a previous prescription would end. Yet, while I was waiting, I had to beg the Lord for His mercy for me to forgive these employees and more than that, to love themAnd yes, I did not feel deep love but felt sorry for them since I already had some love in my heart. Notice how fast Satan or the world at large throws a stumbling stone in our path for us to RESENT. Once we break the commandment to love our neighbor, we lose our spiritual ability to hear the guidance of the Holy Spirit. An example: we can miss appointments for evangelization; we can make others resent us, or said differently, we can make others sin; I personally can lose my hearing regarding what to share in these blogs, etc.

Friday, June 19

The local news reported that at 3 AM, people started arriving to the streets of Oakland to get a good place in preparation for the Golden State Warriors, the NBA champions who would have a parade through some streets of this city. They brought tents since the temperature was 56 degrees Fahrenheit. The parade was to start at 10 AM… This was a very sad moment for me since actions like this reveal the profound spiritual emptiness and adoration of “pagan gods” that occupy the souls of many in the world.

My Mother said, “Do not look to what is going on. It is madness. Instead, pray for them but ALSO and as important is to ask God for His mercy for you to grow in TOTAL TRUST that He can take care of all! The more you trust, that much more you will change everything, including moving a mountain. Just think that you are in a boat under a huge storm worldwide. Yet, it is your faith that moves God to change all things for the good of everybody and He could do it in seconds! Do not worry about what is going on. Worry about your own dedication to say yes to His will out of love for Him and neighbor and He will win all wars.”

Saturday, June 20

Around 11:25 AM and after prayer, I felt that my Mother was going to talk to me. I found myself praying this, “Lord, through Your mercy allow me to understand what Our Lady or You are going to tell me.” Just before this particular time, I had fear again and my Mother had come to remind me not to accept this feeling. After the prayer, I heard:

“Fear spells lack of trust (desconfianza in Spanish). Fear is the other name for doubt and you should remember that you could not fully work for the Kingdom with any kind of doubt of Who is in charge. Also remember that you have been called to help others with your witness, and you may not be able to fully do so in the state of fear.”

Thursday, June 26

6:30 PM. These words of understanding came to me while praying the Rosary and I wrote them immediately after.

We need to move mountains (I am sure that this “we” refers to us Roman Catholics at all levels). We can do it but the question remains, “Where is our faith?” Today’s Supreme Court decisions are not the best for us. Our religious liberty is in jeopardy. The funny part is that we can move mountains, which means that we not only can win this battle but go beyond that and evangelize those who are limiting our freedom. We have the tools but it appears that we are not quite sold in the Truth that our faith is not deep at all. And we show faith by demonstrating to God our TOTAL dedication to say “yes” to His will in our personal lives! For example, this is what we should be saying to our Lord,

1) “Yes Father, we accept the limitations imposed to us by the government regarding our religious liberty! You have allowed it and we will learn from this moment. Have your Holy Spirit instruct us in what to do to defend ourselves. We ask for Your mercy to be able to love deeply those who are limiting our rights.” (Instead of starting plans to fight them with our plans).

2) Then, as we wait to receive such love, we ask for His mercy for them and offer our suffering for their salvation.

3) As often as possible we ask Him during the hour of Mercy, 3 PM, to restore our freedom.

4) We promise to cease making our own plans and build strategies without His Spirit’s guidance.

5) All along, we remain calm, without fear and forgiving those who have placed us in this predicament, but doing it from our hearts that are convinced that a deep trust in His mercy is all we need!

6) We repent for allowing our inner Temple to suffer some damage in its foundation and ask Him to help us reestablish the strong foundation we had as kids, when we trusted as children do.

After this way of addressing our difficulties by asking God to truly take over, we can move mountains and get solutions plus we would have shown our dedication to evangelize the world. I SOLEMNLY CHALLENGE YOU TO TRY THIS ROUTE. I remind you that we are screaming in a boat while we are full of fear and doubts and with Jesus next to us in the middle of a powerful storm as the present one. We must also remember that our brains are wired to take over whatever harms us with our own plans. We claim that the Holy Spirit is in charge but our actions show that it is not so. Any lack of trust in His mercy makes us automatically blind and deaf to His promptings… In my personal life, I have learned, even during this month that I cannot worry at all for anything. On the contrary, I have to trust God like a little child and accept my present moment as perfect and necessary for my own sanctification. And then, a deep sense of peace and joy normally overcomes me.

I suspect that the present times are our great opportunity to practice what we hear in the Scriptures at every Mass and at home when we read them. I took notes of this message and wrote them as part of this blog but feeling sad for being so harsh… Yet, I was led to believe that I had to do it.

Friday, June 26, 2015

Early morning I heard the big news and how the Supreme Court went over board and left no questions for different States to decide, by declaring the lawful validity of same sex marriages for the whole country. Judge Kennedy was quoted as saying that this was very important for the children of same sex couples. I almost passed out… Just imagine that children are important once they are born, but while in the womb of their mothers, they have no rights whatsoever and worse, it is legal to kill them. This is insane and the greatest proof that we Christians have to do something about it. To our detriment, the first law that condemned babies to die is still ruling this land. We have had tons of programs everywhere with the “prolife” seal in them and nothing has happened. Yes, there are fewer abortions in recent years but we have allowed it and are totally responsible for it… YES, WE ARE RESPONSIBLE first for allowing this law to remain with us since the 1970’s; second, for talking over and over about our prolife stance and yet, not having the faith to remove this mountain of horror… If God is alive and God loves us so much, especially those with gender confusion, which appears to be from a scientific point of view to be coming from the configuration of their brains as I have reported from a book I read, then, these persons should be loved by us and supported in every way to live with this cross and not to proceed to confront the Gospel with a lie.

Yes, Jesus was clear. He never went to a wedding feast of a same gender couple. He spoke about the marriage between a man and a woman. The Scriptures start with the story of a man and a woman, the first two created by God. It is obvious for us all Christians that same sex marriages are not right. Some may ask why if God loves all of us so much, these images of God are born with this anomaly in their brains? We do not know, just as we do not know why some children are born with anomalies in their chromosomes and grow to be retarded or to suffer diabetes from early life. Also, we do not know why He allowed us to show different color of our skins and different features that immediately tell others what our ancestry is.

Our call in this present day when the Supreme Court is supposed to protect our rights like religious liberty but instead allowing a burden in our lives with their decisions against our rights and our beliefs, our call is to GROW UP, TO CONVERT, TO BECOME TRUE CHILDREN OF OUR FATHER, and with our SUPER FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE, melt the minds and hearts of those who are twisting the Truth and bring salvation to them and to ourselves and future generations.

Personally, I am sure that this year of Mercy that we are going to celebrate is a special gift from God FOR ALL OF US TO DECIDE TO UNDERGO A DEEP CONVERSION, and forever change our lives for our good and the good of the entire world. JUST LOOK AT HOW THE LORD WORKED THROUGH OUR POPE!!!!!! He is coming to America and the theme is to celebrate the “family.” Hmm… And 3 months later after his visit, we are starting a whole year when we are going to celebrate God’s mercy… IT IS ALL THERE!!! Wow! God cannot be clearer than this. He is getting us together to talk about the family, which according to the Bible, it is made of a man and a woman and the children that God makes from their union! In America, we just declared a war on the traditional family. But at the same time, right in the United States, we had plans to get together in Philadelphia as a big family and implore His mercy for THE FAMILY made of a man and a woman and their children! Just imagine the importance of having these plans to pray for ourselves to convert ourselves and on December 8th, as we celebrate the feast of our Mother in heaven, we start a full year where we can become merciful towards our brothers and sisters who are accepting this life style and as we ask for God’s mercy. Then, we watch our Lord doing His job: win this battle for them (morally) and for us as well. Wow!

Ah, but asking for His mercy is not just that simple… He said that WE  HAVE TO TRUST IN HIS MERCY… We have to trust that His mercy can change the misinterpretation of the family as we know it. Are we ready to have faith without fear that it will be so? So, most likely, most of us need a major CONVERSION to trust in His love for us. We say that we believe it but our actions are not there witnessing that HE WILL move this mountain of errors and let the TRUTH survive. This major conversion is huge and somewhat complicated…  

At the same time we must stop trying to run faith programs with little witnesses of how much we can personally change and to change an entire parish, and indeed, an entire Church. We do not have to wonder how to do it. We simply have to faithfully live what God has commanded, and the Holy Spirit will organize our efforts and millions can be converted and as an example, try to do what I was given the previous day as an example for our conversion. Of course, it all starts with our total conviction that God can do all things and that His mercy is capable of changing all hearts, all, and that we have to simply obey and do whatever He tells us. IT IS SOOO SIMPLE…

III. CLOSING STATEMENT

This is the conversion that it is required in this case of the new decisions made by the Supreme Court regarding the concept of the “family”…

1. WE HAVE TO REFUSE TO CONDEMN OTHERS FOR THEIR same sex attraction… They do not decide one day to feel as such. There are plenty of reasons to believe that these images of God start feeling this attraction since they have the use of reason. Science has proof of what it is going on. As a person brought up with scientific facts, I am convinced that these pictures of the brains of gay men and lesbians showing the similitude of the right brain of a man to that of a woman and vice versa, are true… It is not a fabricated lie and simply because YOU WILL FIND AMONG THESE BROTHERS AND SISTERS something else that points to a different configuration of their right brains.

Our left brain shows our abilities for numbers and facts and understanding concepts and the written word. Our right brain does not understand those facts as the left brain does. They understand through images and memory is easier obtained with images. I met a man years ago that cured his terminal liver cancer by imagining how his immune system cells looked like elephants able to destroy his cancer cells. He was an intellectual and the brother of a Cleveland Clinic surgeon. I met him 10 years after he was sent home to die. We have this possibility because our brains are very “plastic” through their right brain anatomy. And yes, this is pure science… I can do imagery (I do it daily) and reduce the pain of my knees and I do it by imagining certain cells of my immune system incapable of reacting to foods that I am allergic to…!

In the case of same sex attraction, men and women tend to have very artistic talents, that is, that their right brain is predominant. I have met several gay men and women who show great artistry in their lives. Yes, this is a huge scientific clue that their right brain’s gifts come with the entire picture of same sex attraction. HOWEVER, I am not saying that all writers, painters, poets and the like are gay… No.. What I am saying is that gay brains go hand in hand with those gifts.

2. We have to stop condemning them for trying to win this war of same sex marriages all the way to the Supreme Court. Just think, what would you do if you had being born with this attraction? Unless you are a true disciple of Jesus, the chances are that you would be fighting for the legal right to be recognized as legally married to another of the same sex. I can imagine how many priests are hiding this truth in their hearts but are my heroes for living lives that are chaste. They are almost saints already!

3. Beyond that, we have to love them as we would love our own children or brother or sister. If you ask God for this gift, HIS MERCY will do it for you. And I know that it happens because about 2-3 years ago, I asked for the gift to love Mr. Obama no matter what, and yes, I love him as if he were my own son. His errors are huge in this topic of the recent Supreme Court legal acceptance of same sex marriages, and yet, I love him. So, when I pray for him, I KNOW MY LORD IS LISTENING TO ME… LOVE CAN DO ALL THINGS… When are we going to understand this concept? I did not understand it for most of my life and I did not hate people but it happened by pure grace… Yet, I did resent many people for things they did to me, and some of these resentments are still alive against my wish. So, I pray daily to my Mother to intercede for me to receive the gift of not resenting anybody and go beyond that and love them as Jesus loves them. It is simple! We may seem to take over our own feelings but it is not so, and do not realize that God is capable to change our hearts if we make a sincere effort to repent and ask to be blessed with love for all, enemies or people that we do not admire (like President Obama was for me), and viola, we love them.

4. Above all, we have to quit complaining against those who do not live a moral life… What would of Jesus do? When we complain, WE ARE SEDUCING THOSE LISTENING TO US TO GROW INTHEIR RESENTMENT for them… With this attitude, our spiritual growth becomes stagnant and little by little, our spiritual blindness and deafness grows and grows and we hardly notice it but even worse, we keep seducing others to do the same. And Mr. Satan becomes super happy about our stupidity

5. Prayer can do it all, but the cleaner our heart is, that much more, the Mercy of God can penetrate our soul as we pray and He can open the door of many other hearts.

6. The time has arrived for us followers of Jesus Christ to REFUSE TO FAULT IN THE COMMANDMENT TO LOVE OUR NEIGHBOR, as we make a decision to ACCEPT ALL THAT GOD ALLOWS IN OUR LIVES, and equally, to TRUST THAT THROUGH HIS MERCY we can do all things.

7. Let us pray for the Holy Father’s visit to Philadelphia and for all of us who will follow this festivity, so that we can become spiritual defenders of the dignity of all human beings and evangelize the entire world, especially the United States, BY TRUSTING LIKE NEVER BEFORE in the power of His mercy to defend the family as the union of a man and a woman.

8. Let us invite the Holy Spirit on a daily basis to make us ready for December 8th. to enter a new vision of our lives under the power of His love in our daily lives, or what He call His mercy, one that we need to be able to love under the persecution coming out of the latest Supreme Court decision.

9. Let us ask Him for our conversion to become a true witness with no self-will, except to desire to give it away to God for Him to work through us in saving the entire world.

10. Let us be certain that by acting as above, WE ALL CAN ENTER AND GROW IN A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH THE EUCHARISTIC JESUS… and shine His light over everyone that we meet. That light is principally made of love for God and neighbor that makes us say “yes” to His will for everything, good or bad, while living a life of prayer that makes of the Holy Rosary, attendance to Mass and Lectio Divina (reading of the Bible with time to be guided into understanding His will for us), our principal ways to converse with Him and hear His Holy Spirit. Amen!

1Corinthians 13: 1-3; 8; 13.

“If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal! And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love never fails. So faith, hope and love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

Please never forget that in general, we tend to resent others for whatever they have done but especially if it is against us. It is very hard to turn around and love them. I would venture to say that it is almost impossible for us… WELL, there is where His mercy, His love for us shown in our daily life, can do it if we simply ask for the grace to love our neighbor AS OURSELVES; He will answer us.

Luke 9:27a; 32; 35-36.

“But to you who hear I say, love your enemies…For if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. But rather, love your enemies and do good to them… Then you reward will be great and you will be children of the Most High, for He Himself is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. Be merciful just as our Father is merciful. Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ but do not do what I command?

P. S.: Thank you again for your prayers. My youngest son will be visiting this weekend of July 4th with wife and two children from Birmingham, AL. They are bringing their baby girl for me to meet her, and I need to love them even more than before under my sickly status. So, your prayers are a gift to me! We need each other!

 

 


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