This month turned out to be a very strange one at all levels but I learned so much. There is no doubt that I wished that my blog writing would end soon; yet, I have not received any orders from God to do so and when I have checked, the answer is to continue… You will see why I feel that way when I tell you how a doctor damaged my good right eye!!!!!!! THIS WILL BE A LONG BLOG because between the strange things that happened to me and the wild controversial issues going on in the world, I have to plea for us to do something about it… NOW! We have the power and yet, we do not seem to pay attention to our power in Jesus Christ…
Also, Holy Week went by and my health did not allow me to attend the Mass of Holy Thursday nor the Liturgy/Communion service of Good Friday. Of course, I was present in spirit to all live Masses from Rome and U.S. Churches. In a way, it was a very holy week for me since I had a chance to be by myself contemplating what went on in the life of our Savior.
Monday, April 5
I saw a wonderful program via EWTN of Franciscan University Presents, where Jason Evert discusses a book on the five loves of St. John Paul II. I had a ball. First, I know this University quite well since my third son received his first degree in Theology in this place. The Lord had moved us from Indiana after He had asked me to say yes to an offer for a new job and as I repeated many times before. While I was staying at a Marriott Hotel in Houston, TX and on May 4, 1989 for a medical meeting (almost 26 years ago), He told me that I would receive an offer for jobs for my husband and myself and to take them. He did not say from where. We did receive the offer as I returned home to South Bend, IN on May 7. It was from Cleveland, city that I had left in 1986 because of my first major professional persecution about 5 years before and of course, not my favorite place to go back to and at least just yet.
Since everything went along as God had it planned, my third son could start his secondary studies at St. Ignatius High School, where his older brothers had received their education as well. There were no openings by the time we arrived in Cleveland in early July and after buying a home, but the school said yes to him because of the story of his older brothers having attended this place. His admittance was an act of God because yearly, they had about 900 freshmen applying and only 300 were accepted. St. Ignatius was famous for their winning high school football team and for a famous trip that they organized during the junior year to different countries. My second son visited Russia and in those days!!! In a similar trip with the high school to another country, my third son learned that his desire was to become a theologian… My fourth son also was able to graduate from St. Ig, as we used to say… Of course, this was the plan of God for all of us. I became even more interested in knowing St. Ignatius, a Spaniard who has given us great paths for spiritual growth and many wonderful priests plus ONE POPE!!! Huh! For some of us, it feels like a family affair.
The second important item in giving me great interest for this story from Jason Evert was to hear more of St. John Paul II, someone I had the grace to meet face to face on May 9, 2002! This meeting was put together precisely by my theologian son knowing an Archbishop and now Cardinal who sent the letter to the Vatican when we were going to visit Rome. Again, my meeting with this Saint was planned since 1989, when we were moved from Indiana to Ohio!!! It is of great interest as well to me that another brand new program was aired two days ago, April 29, all on St. JPII… This is another major sign that God had a plan for me to meet a great Saint who loved five things: 1) The youth. 2) The Eucharist. 3) Our Lady. 4) Suffering for the good of others. 5) The Church.
It also happened that I was introduced to the theme of God’s mercy since I was a child in Costa Rica by my maternal grandmother when she would pray the chaplet of Mercy in Spanish. Yes, I still have the paper that she used and printed in Dearborn, MI… Amazing things that God does to prepare our futures! Just about the same time it was that I suddenly knew that Jesus was truly Present in the Eucharist, even before my First Holy Communion. ON THIS MONTH OF APRIL OF 2015, I FINALLY understood that this knowledge of His Real Presence was an act of mercy for me…!!! I had never seen it in those terms since in my household, the Chaplet was prayed already.Then, in 1985, I spent one year at home trying to wait for my bosses (who persecuted me in Cleveland) to realize the injustice they had made, and this before I went to look for another job which would require them to write a reference letter on my behalf. I lost $100,000 used for home expenses for the next 18 months after the persecution and while I sat home. Yet, it was during this time off that I read the diary of Sr. Faustina Kowalska not yet a saint, and through it, I became totally interested in the love of God for all of us but seen from another angle… It was then, 1985, and during my stay in a hotel in Steubenville while attending a summer conference at this University, that the Lord asked me to write a book on His mercy…I did and was finished in 2004, but did not publish it because all doors for its publication were closed…Now I believe that this happened for me to keep the theme of His mercy very fresh in my soul!
Of course, my Lord had also scheduled my meeting with the Pope of Mercy!!! As you can see, one thing led to another and my first persecution turned out to be a great blessing in disguise. Otherwise, working as hard as I was in Cleveland at St. Luke’s Hospital and raising 4 sons, I would have never read St. Faustina’s diary from top to bottom and with great detail. I still have this book and it is all pieces because it came apart through the years. I had to buy another one! I REPEAT THIS STORY BECAUSE IT IS A GOOD REMINDER THAT GOD HAS A PLAN FOR EVERYTHING and FOR EVERY ONE, INCLUDING THE TERRIBLE SUFFERING OF BEING PERSECUTED FOR NO REASON, to the point that eventually they told my husband how sorry they were of what they did to me. This was allowed as part of His plan. It reminds all of us that any suffering is part of our biography for the glory of God…
Monday, April 6
What a beautiful teaching I received at 11:25 AM.
In Daniel Chapter 1, the King of Judah Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon laid siege of Jerusalem. He asked his chief chamberlain to bring to him some of the Israelites of royal blood and of the nobility, young men without any defect, handsome, intelligent and wise, quick to learn and prudent in judgment . They were to be taught the language of the Chaldeans and after 3 years of training, they were to be sent to enter the King’s service. He allotted them food and wine from the royal table. Among these were men of Judah: Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. TheKing changed their names to Belteshazzar, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.
The meat, bread and wine from these Gentiles, were unclean. Only raw vegetables and water were safe from this danger. So, they chose to be fed only vegetables and water. It is interesting to know of the first vegetarian diet in the Old Testament. The story is long but after 10 days they looked healthier than the others eating the food from the King’s table. This story caught my attention right away … When our desires are to follow God’s laws, His mercy makes miracles. Scientifically, eating only veggies for 10 days could not have had such fast results!
In chapter 2, the King had a dream. The King asked his magicians, enchanters, sorceress and Chaldeans to interpret the dream or they would be killed. They explained to the King that it was impossible to do it. When the King ordered their execution, Daniel wanted to stop this harsh treatment for these Gentiles and sent word to the King that he would come up with an answer for him even that he had none… LOOK AT HOW MERCIFUL DAVID WAS…!!!
Verse 17. Daniel went home and informed his three companions that they should IMPLORE THE MERCY OF GOD in regards to this mystery, so that Daniel and his companions would not perish with the rest of the wise men of Babylon. Verse 19: during the night Daniel had a vision where it was revealed to him the mystery of the dream!!!! Daniel immediately started praying and blessing God for this miracle…. It is a wonderful prayer. So far, it is amazing how Daniel’s act of mercy for the wise men and his prayer for God’s mercy, produced the miracle…NOTICE THE POWER OF BEING MERCIFUL AND OF TRUSTING IN GOD’S MERCY… Wow!
In verse 24, Daniel went to Arioch, whom the King had appointed to destroy the wise men of Babylon and asked him not to do it, and to take him to the King to give him the interpretation. Daniel not only wanted to be merciful but acted immediately to stop their killing. From then on, Daniel and friends were given special treatment in the King’s court and Daniel worked right at the palace.
Chapter 3: King Nebuchadnezzar had a golden statue and he ordered that everyone had to worship this statue but whoever did not do it, the person would be instantly cast out into a white hot-furnace. The King was informed that Daniel’s 3 friends did not worship the golden statue and he became furious… They said to the King in verses 16-18, “There is no need for us to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If our God, whom we serve, can save us from the white-hot-furnace and from your hands, O king, may He save us. But even if He will not, know, O king, that we will not serve your god or worship the golden statue…” The King became livid and ordered the furnace to be heated 7 times more.
Verse 24: They walked about in the flames, singing to God and blessing the Lord. In the fire, Abednego (or Azariah), stood up and prayed aloud: Blessed are you and praise worthy, O Lord, God of our fathers, and glorious forever is Your name….They repented from their sins of not heeding His commandments. In verse 35 they prayed, “Do not take away Your mercy from us.” Notice their repentance as they were going to die and their faith as they asked for God’s mercy.
Verse 40: …(They also said) ”So let our sacrifice be in Your presence today as we follow You unreservedly ; FOR THOSE WHO TRUST IN YOU CANNOT BE PUT TO SHAME.” (Wow!)
Verses 47 to 50: “The flames rose, 49 cubits above the furnace and spread out burning the Chaldeans nearby. But the angel of the Lord went down to the furnace with Azariah and his companions, drove the fiery flames out of the furnace, and made the inside of it as though a dew-laden breeze were blowing through it. The fire in no way touched them or caused them pain or harm. Then these three in the furnace with one voice sang, glorifying and blessing God.” Verses 52 to 90 show us how they blessed the Lord and thanked Him. Verse 89 says, “Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, for His mercy endures forever.” Of course, they ended up evangelizing King Nebuchadnezzar who said in verse 96: “Therefore, I decree for nations and people of every language that whoever blasphemes the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego shall be cut to pieces and his house destroyed, FOR THERE IS NO OTHER GOD WHO CAN RESCUE LIKE THIS.” Here the lesson for us is huge! If we obey His commandments and no matter what, the Spirit of God will multiply our evangelization efforts… It is not a matter of how much we preach about evangelization or how we create programs to teach how to do it… It is a matter of trusting God and there is no better trust than obedience to His commandments with repentance when we disobeyed, and the most important commandments are two: to love Him with all our heart, soul, etc. which means to do His will second by second, and to love our neighbor as ourselves!!! It is so simple and yet we do not teach this day and night as we practice it as well…
Chapter 6. Much later after a new King came to the court, Daniel was still very well treated and King Darius wanted to give him authority over the entire kingdom. His enemies invented to ask the king for a law to stop any prayer to any god for 30 days. (I could swear that this was a very well planned temptation from Satan to Daniel’s enemies). Daniel continued to pray 3 times a day in his home and his enemies saw him and accused him to the king. The king was deeply grieved but the satraps reminded the king that under the Mede and Persian law every royal prohibition or decree is irrevocable. And Daniel was casted into the lion’s den. The king checked on him daily and would ask Dniel if his God had saved him. Verse 22 – Daniel answered, “O king live forever! My God has sent His angel and closed the lion’s mouths so that they have not hurt me. For I have been found innocent before Him, neither to you have I done any harm. This gave the king great joy. At his order, Daniel was removed from the den, UNHURT BECAUSE HE TRUSTED IN HIS GOD.” The king ordered the men who accused Daniel and their children and wives to be cast into the lion’s den and before they reached the bottom, the lions had crushed their bones.
In Verse 27, the king declared to all nations and people of every language that the god of Daniel was to be reverenced and feared. Amazing act of evangelization and simply because Daniel had trusted the love of God for him…and had obeyed Him to the end…
This story of the book of Daniel was given to me and without knowing why but later in the month I would go through a very difficult time with my health and of course, the previous description of God’s mercy in the times of Daniel and companions had already prepared me to trust in God’s tender love for me without any fear of not trusting in His mercy!… This teaching came precisely during the Novena of Divine Mercy. I wrote in my diary, “In my life likewise, I must ask for God’s mercy to bless me and never fearing the enemy because no fire or lion (hell or the evil one) will do anything to me.”
Tuesday, April 8
The following story will be too long to re-write it, and therefore, I will paste here what I wrote to my sons on Thursday, April 9. It will be full of details since you must enter into this sad moment of my life to understand how merciful the Lord was to me!
“Yesterday, Wed. April 8 at 9:30 AM, I had the laser treatment in my good eye (right) by famous ophthalmologist Dr. N. B in San Leandro, 45 minutes south of Martinez.
“I went alone without your brother driving me there because they told me that I would not need to have my pupils dilated, fact that encumbers my driving back home through three different expressways, all super busy… I left at 7:30 AM (2 hours ahead) just to be sure that I would not be late since it was during the heavy traffic of the morning. I did get there O.K. Only once did I change expressways with the wrong turn but was able to re route to where I needed to be as if BY MAGIC… I told my God to do it Himself since even with maps, previous studies of the area and a PRINTED list of exits and signs written with huge letters so that I could read them easily while I was driving, I still missed the exit to enter expressway 13. Of course, He did re route me with no effort on my own. I was at the office by 9:15 AM.
“The technicians mixed about three different gels in a small cup that was placed over my right eye and then, Dr. B did the laser therapy for about 2 minutes. The moment he finished, he left and bingo, my vision in the right eye was totally blurry……….!!!!! Some 10 minutes later, when they brought me back to measure the ocular pressure that went from 20 down to 13, I asked to see Dr. B. I wanted to cancel the same procedure in the left eye 2 weeks later on Wed. April 22, since I knew clearly that I had had an allergic reaction to the gels, similar to the one I had to the eye drops given to me to bring down the pressure without the use of laser. I asked a patient of his who was sitting down waiting and who in the past did have this treatment and he told me that shortly after, he never had any problems.
“He came to the door of the room I was at, never got in and when I mentioned that I had trouble seeing with the good eye, he said it was common to have some blurriness and that it would go away… I suspect that I was mistreated and worse, this was a medical error. He forgot to have in mind that I am allergic to so many things, including the drops for glaucoma that he ordered before deciding about the laser therapy, so that at least, he should have perhaps ordered some anti-inflammatory eye drops. Wow! Even worse, he should have told me about the gels and its potential for an allergy in order for me to make a decision, but his helpers asked me to sign a permit for the laser without any explanation of what was coming. I wondered if I had been a male doctor… Would he have come in to hear my case? This is another personal doctor who fails me in my life… He said to come back to have the other eye done (the bad one) and that at the time he would decide if to cancel it. OF COURSE, I have already decided… When you read the rest of the story, no one will touch my other eye with laser. Period!
HERE IS THE REST OF THE STORY.
“I left the place and realized that I could not even recognize the presence of a left turn green arrow… I turned left only because a car was before me and I followed the car and went to the parking lot of the supermarket across his office and called Dr. B’s office and asked for the name of a motel or hotel nearby. The girl wanted to convince me that it was not that bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!. She suggested going to a restaurant to eat and wait for this problem to pass… I said that I am allergic to 60+ foods and therefore, I cannot go to restaurants. Period. She gave me some instructions to continue down for 5 miles south of the street of their office and turn right on Leuwelling Blvd. and right again on the next light and there I could find a hotel.
“I prayed and asked the Lord to do it for me… It took me some time because I could not read the names of streets… Eventually, I stopped near a woman coming out of her house and with a heavy Chinese accent she gave me fresher instructions. I proceeded and finally found a rundown motel; I entered and they would have one room ready in half hour. By now it was like 11 AM. I went to their diminutive diner and no one was there and the beautiful Chinese owner server, mixed some veggies that I can take with chicken… and of course, non organic, but they were O.K. and I had coffee and food for the first time on this day. The cutlery was ugly, old, and I wonder how clean…
“I finally got to the room and called your brother. I told him that I was in trouble and why and that I would wait in this motel for a few hours to see if I could make it driving back myself to Martinez. I told him to think of what to do in later hours in case I could not do so… Should I wait till morning and see if I am better? The room was ugly. I could hardly see the old TV set but for $60, it was O.K. I had an extra bottle of Evian… Why? God had given me that idea before I left!!! I had my electro acupuncture hand held device… and why? Again, I am sure that the Holy Spirit knew what was coming in order to be used for my pain. I ONLY HAD ONE tablet of TRAMADOL… and I had taken 2 tablets at 7 AM… So, in due time around 1-2 PM, I could use this one tablet that I had in my purse; yet, I had nothing else in case I stayed overnight. Also, I did not have my blood pressure machine or medication to treat the blood pressure if high. My blood pressure can vary from 140/80 down to 106/60 within hours, this due to the imbalance of my autonomic nervous system… Therefore, I have to take it at least 3 times a day and treat it as needed!
“I called your brother back at 1:30 PM…He had gone to Martinez and had a meeting with his office members using the Internet as a way of communication. He knew that somehow he had to come to me with Tramadol and blood pressure medication, etc. So, he had left for home to be there for our final decision. At one point, in my previous call I told him that may be later in the afternoon and after the PM heavy traffic, he could come down and that I could follow him to Martinez… But at this time and second call, he wanted to take a taxi and come and drive me back in my own car since other cars could get in between us and I could lose him. EXCELLENT IDEA…
“We did so… He arrived at 6 PM and paid $110 plus tip for the taxi… I thought it would be much more. I came home and my vision was slightly better in the lower half of the vision field but the upper half was just as blurry as before. In the expressway I could not read any signs of any kind or number or name of an exit but until I would be VERY NEAR the sign… And of course, while driving a 65 miles per hour, this was not good enough for me to drive by myself.
“Today April 9: as of right now, 1:23 PM P.T. à half of the upper vision field is blurry. The lower half has a horizontal section where if I seek it and focus on it, it is fairly clear. Above and below this narrow horizontal line, is blurry as the upper half of the vision field. I am sure that there was a furious inflammatory reaction of the cornea and conjunctiva with the different gels that they combined to place on my eye just before the 2 minute laser treatment. The eye still looks a little reddish and confirms that inflammation is still present. Today, I have taken much of a garlic supplement and ginger herb, not the liquor!, as powerful anti-inflammatory agents. It is possible that once the inflammation goes down, that my vision will be restored as before; or maybe not.
“In religious terms, this was a precious time for me to offer it all day yesterday as a sacrifice for the Catholic Church and with a big yes to God’s will and done several times with joy… If I was tested, well, I believe that God is happy with my offering and big YES. This is the week of the novena of Divine Mercy and the Feast of Divine Mercy is this Sunday April 12. The feast of a great saint from Chile, St. Teresa of the Andes, (1901-1920) a Carmelite novice, is this Saturday. Since I write a blog on God’s mercy since 2008… I expect a few miracles for this Feast of His Mercy through the intercession of St. Teresa… We shall see! I will keep you posted.”
Friday, April 10
I realized how little I love my brothers and sisters! There are more and more reports of people committing suicide. I was sent to a page of the Bible. In there, I found out in the Old Testament how Israel’s enemies had desecrated the TEMPLE. Me too! I have done that because every suicide due to depression COULD be a desecration of a temple of the Holy Spirit of that person due to not warning the world about carrageenan and how it gives depression in some of us! In Dr. Oz’s show, they were blaming obesity and over the counter drugs as the cause of dementia!!! If they knew what I know… I felt soo sad for not running to finish the book, which is put together but needs major editing. My eyes are getting worse and I wonder if Satan is behind much of the messes going on with my health in general. God in His mercy has revealed to a human being like me since 1994 what can give depression and I have kept it like a secret… Ouch!
Saturday, April 11
LIVE from Rome, we learned on this day from Pope Francis and on the Vigil of the Second Sunday of Easter or Sunday of Divine Mercy, about the Bull announcing the Extraordinary Jubilee Year of Mercy. It was awesome for me!
I DID UNDERSTAND TODAY again during the Live Vespers of Divine Mercy Sunday from Rome that I lack love for my neighbor… My Mother in heaven said to hurry up and finish it, and I also understood that to a certain point, with my horrible health I am paying for this major sin.
11:20 A.M. – Our Lady asked me, “When are you going to finish it? (Me: I will work hard today and every day). I then asked for a Bible verse to illumine my mind and recognize better my lack of love. I called the Holy Spirit and I was sent to a page which was 1Kings 3 about Solomon’s wisdom. I understood that I need to ask for wisdom during the day and every day, in order to get to the computer to continue editing.
1:30 PM: I was led to St. Faustina’s diary and it was regarding trust as a requisite to advance in perfection
4112 – The graces of My mercy can only come through trust. Souls who trust Me – give Me great consolation. I rejoice that they ask for much because I want to give much. I do not want to be asked for little.”
Wow… If I truly loved my neighbor regarding this issue of carrageenan as a source of depression, I would have asked Him all day long to help me trust in His mercy, in His tender love for them and for me and He would have given so much help to endure this computer screen and how it bugs my eyes and would have finished the editing of the book. If the problem had to do with my sons, I would have asked for His help day and night, and He would have answered months ago, and I would have finished it… It is amazing how we live our lives with so little love for others but hardly notice it.
Sunday, April 12 – Divine Mercy Sunday
The Mass I attended was strange. The homilist repeated the homily of the previous Easter Sunday on the Resurrection! He apologized for doing it but later, much later at home, I understood that old age can be a problem for some retired priests… I was almost certain that he was tempted by Satan to miss this gorgeous feast, since the Mercy of God was not mentioned even once. I cried during the Consecration… Many tears covered my face but never resented the celebrant. God’s mercy was helping me. Satan had won in a way because many people left this church without hearing about Divine Mercy, yet in my case, he could NOT cause any resentment on my part! A couple of days later, I felt like going and embracing this beautiful human being who has labored for His vineyard and did not do it with any malice. It was a temptation and simple old age!
I was spiritually present in Stockbridge, Massachusetts for the Live TV Mass celebrating this feast. I PROMISED GOD TO DEDICATE MY LIFE TO TALK ABOUT HIS MERCY, EVEN BEYOND THIS BLOG. I asked Him to heal my body of all diseases so that I could do that, provided this was His will for me.
Tuesday, April 14
My sight continued to be very blurry. I needed to go to nearby Target to purchase some Evian water and did it with difficulty, although by knowing the geography, I did not have to read the name of streets. As I drove home (10 AM), I offered this major problem to God for the Catholic Church. I heard from within the following, “And offer it up for Catholics so that they open and believe in My mercy, in order for Me to be able to wrap their souls with My tender love for them.” I started to tear up. When I arrived I was able to follow the Live Mass from the National Shrine of Divine Mercy by Fr. Dan Cambra, MIC who spoke about the ABC’s of God’s mercy and suggested to start the day asking to trust in Jesus to do what He wants us to do. I started thinking that this error on my right eye was forcing me to follow this counsel since the situation was serious!
That evening, I received a call from a friend who knew of my problems with the right eye and she suggested having faith and believing that I would be healed. Unfortunately, this advice although it seemed logical, was wrong in my case. I cannot ask for that. I had to ask Him for His will to be done first and foremost and from my heart, and then, ask for His mercy to help my vision.
Friday, April 17
In the morning, my mother had indicated that finishing the book was very important because it would give much glory to God by explaining to people how to deal with many illnesses by detoxification. After praying the Rosary, I asked God the following, “Lord, give me health to finish the book and then take it away.”
My Mother said, “No, this is the wrong way of asking. Instead, pray this, ‘Lord, give me health to finish and publish the book. After that, Your will be done regarding my health but always to give You glory and to work for Your Kingdom and for the good of my brothers and sisters. Amen.’ “
Later that day, I was led to compose the following prayer:
“Lord, I offer this moment and suffering asking for Your Mercy to give me good health to finish and publish the book for Your major glory and to help my brothers and sisters. After that, Your will be done regarding my health according to Your desire for my work for Your Kingdom. Besides, I offer my suffering produced by long hours of editing in atonement for my sins and those of the Roman Catholic Church plus I ask You to shower Your mercy over all her members to be sanctified and converted, so that they can develop a personal relationship with Your Eucharistic Presence during the Year of Mercy.”
Monday, April 20
In prayer, I found myself saying the following, “Lord, thank You for Your mercy and being able to say yes to this horror with my right eye without experiencing any resentment towards doctor B.” I was thankful because I was preparing myself psychologically to visit this Dr. the following Wednesday and realizing that there was no anger towards him.
At the same time, the days after the fiasco of April 8 with my good eye, I was using the teachings of the story of Daniel and companions because my problems had been multiplied as follows:
Driving in general was a subject that was problematic. I was able to drive using the expressway because I know the local area well. However, I was hesitant to move from home in order to stay away from this blurry vision of the street names, although not needed to read, but knowing what this problem meant for April 25, when I had to undergo a driving test to renew my driver’s license, after the numerous mistakes done at the DMV in February and in March. Yet, this time I was going to undergo the test with two bad eyes!!! Ouch.
On April 22 I had to go back to San Leandro, this time driven by my son and have an encounter with this ophthalmologist. The redness of my eye was gone but the glasses recently obtained from him (back in January) were not good any more. My vision becomes even more blurred with them. So, I have to use the previous glasses which were not good then, but now, with my damaged right eye, they give me a better vision. In order to write in this computer, I now use the glasses of two years ago that were wrong then… Now, they are perfect! However, the one year old glasses for driving had lost the lens of the bad left eye when some months ago disappeared at Mass without I knowing it … So, for the driving test, I have to use the wrong glasses since the better one for the right eye, is missing one lens… Please, start thinking how this time in my life was similar to the fire and lions that the Book of Daniel talks about, and yet, I must also remember how Daniel and companions overcame this difficult moment. I should expect the same happening to me.
Wednesday, April 22
The horror of this day will live in my mind forever. I will paste here how I described it to my 3 sons who are away.
“I had an appointment with Dr. B to give my left bad eye a laser treatment. Of course, your brother had to drive me there because I CANNOT READ THE NAME OF STREETS too well 15 days after the laser treatment to the old good eye… Only yards from the name of streets I can read them but not with ease. When we arrived, the technician that gets everything ready for the laser treatment wanted to proceed and I said, "No. I will not have laser in my left eye." I explained to her why and she did not believe me that what I was saying was true… I asked her to send the doctor whenever it was my turn to talk to him directly. Eventually he came and showed me one of the worse scenarios possible in this disaster! This was our dialogue after I explained the problem to him.
“B (Dr. B) I have never seen a reaction to laser like this.
M (Me) Well, it was an allergy to the gels you put in the eye cup before the laser.
B: No, it cannot be because you are not allergic to any of those things (he was looking in my computer chart and had the long list of my allergies in front of him).
M: It had to be and I told you even before I left and you said that it would be a little blurry but nothing else. However, I could not drive and somehow ended up at the Nimitz motel, until my son via taxi came from Martinez at 6 PM and drove me back. In route, I could not distinguish any name of exits at all. My eye was very red and remained so for 5 days. The vision improved but it is not good yet. I still cannot read the name of streets, even at lesser velocities. If I watch TV, I can see better with the glasses of one year ago, etc. Besides, that list of allergies you have could not cover every possible chemical they add as preservative in eye drops.
B: No, those gels did not have the same ingredient of the drops I gave you to reduce your pressure!
M: Of course not… There are many other chemicals that may have given me the allergy to those drops and not precisely the main ingredient!
B: That is strange because I have patients with allergies and they do not have any problem.
M: Patients with so many allergies like in my case? (He said nothing…)
B: Ah, it is due to your cataract…
B: Cataracts can give you problems with your vision.
M: In 5 minutes, my cataract of this eye got worse?
B: Well, yes, cataracts can get in the way at any time!!!!
M: I also need a pair of new glasses.
B: Let me measure your intra ocular pressure first. (He did)
B: I am so happy! The laser worked and the pressure is 13…
M: Yes but now I have H E L L (spelled out)… and I cannot drive in any place that I do not know well, plus this Saturday I have a driving test with the DMV!
B: But the laser treatment lasts for 5 years…
M: Good because I hope that by then I am dead… (He looked at me with a weird face and I continued)… YEES, this is what I get with Jesus Christ. I am free to die any time and I hope I will be dead soon and I am joyful about it. (I truly was so joyful… At no time did I feel sad or too upset… God was there 100%. NOR DID I FEEL RESENTMENT FOR THIS MAN. What bugged me was to see a grown up man full of pride who was willing to say stupid things in order to prove that he had nothing to do with the problem!)
B: Your eye looks fine (he meant inside after seeing it via a microscope) and may be new glasses may help…
B: I want to see you in 3 months just to measure your intra ocular pressure!!!
M: what about seeing Dr. A. Wong (his adorable and super nice female optician) for new glasses.
B: well you cannot do it now because I gave you drops to examine your eye and you cannot be measured for new glasses. But you can go to Dr. Roy, he is very nice. (He does not know that Dr. Roy was magnificent, a Catholic and very devoted to Jesus but that his prescription after one whole hour with me, was not perfect at all and that Medicare denied payment to him, probably for being just an optometrist and for having had my glasses changed just a year before that….)
“I left his office with the pain of seeing the state of many doctors in our industry… He was happy with my low eye pressure or was he? I wonder… He came prepared to deny any fault and brought with him the lady technician who had brought me into the room (as a witness to our conversation?)
“As we drove back, I still had much joy… Yes, God exists… No doubt about it. I told your brother that now I have to go to the best Doctor, my Jesus for His mercy and that He will come with some answers for me. Dr. B. had been terribly TEMPTED by no other than Satan and by his own flesh, in order to deny any wrong doing and ended up not giving me answers for his mistake. I must add that Satan is after me big time. Some of you have not truly identified him in your lives… And it is O.K. He comes and gives us 5 things: he confuses us, divides us, accuses us, lies to us and promotes fear in us so that we WALK IN THIS LIFE WITH RESENTMENTS… The moment I resent, I am not forgiving the other and I cannot love him/her as myself… which is disobedience to the second most important Commandment. With such sin, the Holy Spirit cannot make His guidance clear for our lives. And in my case, I could not take dictation of my monthly blog…
“Thank you so much for those who prayed for me… Just to feel so joyful in the midst of this mess with a driving test in the next 76 hours, can only come from the Lord… The driving test will be a major battle that Jesus will have to win for me. Otherwise, I will not be able to go to daily Mass nor do any shopping, and I doubt that this could be His will for me. In fact, as a widow I will be persistent as the story in the Bible, and I will request from Him to be sure that I do things right in my test to at least have a driver’s license for 2 more years… OR TO GIVE ME enough money in order to hire a personal chauffeur… since for God all things are possible, even joy in the middle of the storm!!! It will be rainy on this Saturday…!!! Not good for me… I need light and not much sun or being too dark and wet… The test is or starts around 9:45 AM, my time.
“And be careful with docs. Yesterday, Suzanne Summers appeared in Dr. Oz’s program and she became very ill and short of breath in Nov. 2006. She was hospitalized and the X-Ray showed masses all over her lungs. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was offered chemotherapy … She declined it. As you know, she is hot in eating organic foods. She then discovered that in her basement, there was a fungus all over… It turned out to be a toxic fungus and this is what she had in her body!!! She detoxified herself and cleaned the house and she is alive today… NO CANCER ANY WHERE!!!
It amazes me to see our medical industry so behind in the knowledge of the environment and toxicity as the source of illnesses. She wrote a book but I did not write the name. However, one word of the title says, TOXIC’. (End of email to sons)
At 9:30 PM, still on April 22, I was given this to read and it was another proof that thousands of years ago, God’s people recurred to His mercy for help.
It was the Book of Maccabees, where gentiles persecuted faithful Israelites and Judas Maccabeus was their leader. He realized at one point in Chapter 3 that the king of their enemies had decided to invade the land of Judah and ravage it. Judas and his brothers saw that the situation had become critical and that armies were encamped within their territory. In 1 Maccabees chapter 3: 42-43, Judas said, “Let us restore our people from their ruined estate, and fight for our people and our sanctuary.” Verse 44: “The assembly gathered together to prepare for battle and to pray and implore mercy and compassion.”
In Chapter 4, Judas goes to war with 3 thousand men and found the army of the Gentiles strong and breast plated and made up of expert soldiers. However, the Gentiles were defeated…Verse 24: “As they returned, they were singing hymns and glorifying Heaven, for He is good and His mercy endures forever.”
April 25, 2015
This is the day when I had to visit the Department of Motor Vehicles.
At 8 AM and having finished my prayer of the Rosary before I left for the 9:45 AM appointment, I received a page number in the Bible:
It was all on the Book of Wisdom. My Mother said, “Ask for wisdom. Ask for love for your persecutors at the DMV. You will never understand how His mercy will accomplish many things today but TRUST that His mercy will give you the victory you seek. Also, thank Him for His gift of Mercy.”
Next I will paste the story as I sent it to my family regarding what happened on this day.
“Dear ones: I arrived to the DMV fairly early since I am always one who cannot get late to any place… I was born like that. I went to station No. 17 and after a while since there were 2 other persons in line seeking a driving test, I was greeted by a very nice young girl who also spoke Spanish. Then things got very weird:
1. I received a paper to call and make an appointment to clarify my problem with my photo… Remember that back in February was when problems started because there was a problem with my photo and nobody knew what was going on. I was referred to their department of investigations!!!!!!! However, I was supposed to go to this city of Vallejo, north of Martinez for them to investigate me as I proof that I am the real person in the photo!!!!!!!! YET, AT THIS TIME, NOBODY GAVE ME THE PAPER I RECEIVED TO DAY… Why? NOBODY KNEW WHY!!!!
2. I was told that they could not do anything until I made an appointment in Vallejo and for them to clarify this issue… That I had to show them my passport or other document to prove who I was… SOOO… I asked the young girl what I should do since I had not a drivers’ permit beyond today… She said she could not do anything until I did my clarification with the investigation group!!!! I told her that I could not even go to Vallejo without a driver’s permit of some sort…. She had already checked my papers to prove that I had a valid licensed car with insurance as well and reviewed my paper from Dr. B. from January 21 saying that my right eye was good enough……!!!!! I needed to talk to her supervisor
She called the supervisor. The latter did not want to talk to me directly because she had tons of others things to attend to!!!! Finally, she came and I explained to her that their error of not giving me in my previous visit the paper for the investigation unit to clear my name, was too costly. I explained that I am an American citizen, a doctor of medicine and yet, my rights were violated… That I probably had to call a lawyer… She said that she wanted to see my receipt for the payment of the new license ($33) and that I should have had a photo taken already… and that this was supposed to be done in my last visit…Of course, it was not done… She was nice from the beginning, Tina Vu… A very nice woman. She was my guardian angel selected by God’s mercy to be the in between helper in this situation. I repeated that nothing had been done and that the photo had just being taken by the young girl I saw first. She understood and sent me to take my driver’s test first. By now, I was up to my ears with this situation and seeing the confusion that Satan was making.
3. I started my long journey of being in line with 6 other cars ahead of me to have my turn for my driver’s test… REMEMBER that by now I have a bad right “old good” eye and that this was eating me to pieces as well. Eventually I was ready for a lady about 40sh’ to do the testing and as she started asking me to hunk my car and proceed to check all the lights of the car to see if they worked, etc., another woman (there were three of them doing these driving tests) came and told her to do the car behind me… She took over my case… She came in, Gloria, also 40’sh, fat and with a disgusting attitude. We started and she said to proceed straight and make a left turn (still within the parking lot) and another left. I as did the second left turn, my rear left tire hit the cement and made a commotion and she became angry. She asked me to drive further and to park the car and she said, “You are disqualified for this test. A good driver would have avoided hitting the edge which is on the side of your bad eye.”
Well, what she does not know is that I WAS BORN WITHOUT MY BRAIN BEING ABLE TO MEASURE DISTANCES between my car and the side of the parking space white lines, for example. If I were a basketball player, I could not hit 3 points as our Oakland Warrior Stephen Curry does or 2 points for that matter… His brain can measure exactly where the ball has to land and place in his hands the force and in his eyes the perfect distance to land the ball in the basket!!!!! I Of course, at the time I was paying super attention to this woman who was giving me instructions and with a certain attitude that was disgusting to begin with, as I knew that my right eye could not see as before April 8th…
At the end, I inquired if I could get a temporary driver’s permit or if I could not! She said, “You go in and tell them that you need a permit.” “O nooo,” I said. You must tell them because by the time I get there, they may say that I cannot have a permit … Of course, Gloria does not know of the investigation that I am under… She probably would get worse if she learned of the possibility of being a fraud… She did go in and told my friend Tina Vu, the supervisor, to give me a driver’s permit.
By the time I got there and leaving my purse and cane in my parked car… with horrendous pain in my knees because by now my last dose of Tramadol had being taken at 6 AM (now 11:20 AM), Tina tried to get my paper work in their computer and guess what….? My name was frozen and I do not exist for them, most likely because of the INVESTIGATION, according to Tina… Ouch and ouch and ouch… Also, notice how I was going to be helped by another woman and at the last instant, Gloria appeared and she made things 100% worse for me… Her initial attitude was horrible… I suspect that Satan somehow had moved this woman to ask the other one to do the car behind me and for her to come to help me!!!! Notice that the computer was frozen… Well, nobody, even Tina, understood why. Tina kept telling me that she did not understand why my picture had not been taken in my previous visit and asked me to reconstruct what had happened in my past two visits… CONFUSION AND MORE CONFUSION was the name of this day…
If they had sent me to Vallejo back in March, well, this investigation would be over… But why was this not done? I have to say that this large DMV department in Concord, CA, is the most disorganized group I ever encountered. Nobody knows what to do… And it all started with my picture being improperly used… but no one knows what that means at the level of this place… I will certainly ask Vallejo group to tell me what the problem is. I need to know to pass this info to future visits to this DMV… Who knows if this story will follow me until the trip of my ashes to Costa Rica? Since Tina was my guardian angel, even without my paper work in the computer, she gave me a 30 day driving permit and her full name to tell the Vallejo people that if they had any questions, to ask her.
As I drove back, I started to understand that these people in general, act like the police around here and other parts of the country… They do not care for others and their work shows a certain antipathy for their clients. IN GENERAL, they are not lovers of those who pay the taxes for their salaries. They look agitated, lost, and unhappy. I have not seen one smile in these people when taking care of others. My work is to ask for God’s mercy to save their souls. My driver’s license is sooo unimportant except for my daily Mass and for my poor Ernie who would have to take me to do all the shopping for food. My work is to pray to grow in love for them, and forget about the Vallejo answers and let God take care of my visit and whatever else. Tina told me again that they probably want to see my passport… In 2012, I made the point of renewing my passport even that I was not planning on traveling abroad… Today, I could not make another appointment for my second chance of a driving test (I have 2 more chances), because I cannot go any further since I am under investigation and probably that is why my name is frozen…
So, after Vallejo and if they think I am the real person, I have to make an appointment for the second driving test and this will be very distant away… and I will need more temporary driving permits until such day!!!! My future is not fun… Yet, all of this has to be offered for these people in government posts, especially this DMV, but with love from my part…
I AM TOTALLY CONVINCED THAT SATAN DOES NOT WANT ME TO FINISH MY BOOK… No doubt about it with these many distractions! Imagine how many elders could come out of nursing homes with memory reversal. Or how many people may find out that their depression is due to carrageenan… And that all of this came from GOD, as it will be written in the last chapter of the book… just for His glory… Of course, this may lead to my preaching in person about these scientific facts and how God was behind it. Also, again, Satan wants me in a state of pure resentment or hatred towards many of these DMV employees, the perfect scenario to close the doors to the Holy Spirit to receive the dictation of each blog. This is SPIRITUAL WARFARE at its best.
So, your prayers worked 100%… à I was able to have the wisdom to SEE that the salvation of these souls is more important than my lousy driver’s license and that my work for the Kingdom comes first… My worldly needs God will take care of… Yet, He wants my suffering to be united with His at Calvary in order to atone for their sins.
If you find yourselves being persecuted in any form or shape, remember, it is a sign that what you are doing for God is very important for Satan to bug you through others. I have suffered many injustices but this one seems as bad as the others when my job opportunities were terminated for no reason. Some of us were given great gifts of knowing His Real Presence at a young age, and this brought satanic persecutions so that we would not grow in our spiritual journey. But in my life, Satan has been identified and I must repeat that any horror like the one I lived today is only a sign that I am doing O.K. in God’s eyes…
Monday, April 27
8:45 AM As I was praying the Rosary and the problem with my driver’s license issue came to me and the call to Vallejo I needed to do, my Mother (as she is in a picture of her Immaculate Heart) said, “Have no fear or doubt. Who will win this battle? (Me: He will.) But how? (Me: through His mercy). That is what? (Me: His most tender love for me). Therefore, God’s mercy is the most powerful sword against the evil one, but trusted by you as you listen and obey what the Spirit of God leads you to but without fear or doubts that it will be so!”
“Just imagine yourself as a warrior (sorry but I thought of the NBA Oakland warriors…) versus Satan, carrying a big flag that says, I BELIEVE THAT HIS MERCY, HIS TENDER LOVE FOR ME, WILL KEEP SATAN TIED UP AND AWAY FROM ME AND MINE, FAMILY, FRIENDS AND ALL THOSE DEALING IN MY AFFAIRS.”
“This image of yourself with this banner must occupy you mind from now on for all your visits regarding your driver’s license and also while you drive in this area, so that no one will hit you and involve you in an accident. This whole issue is of great importance for Satan in order to stop you from going to daily Mass if you do not get a license; and these mistakes made by others are for you to get you distracted from this truth. Therefore, HIS MERCY SHOULD BE LIVED AND NOTJUST ACCEPTED!
“Even the problems you see in the Church have to do with the little instruction of what God’s mercy is! IT IS A DOUBLE EDGE SWORD. It is the sword of the Spirit and the sword of the Word of God carried in the wings of God’s mercy, which means carried on His love for you all!
“Believing in His mercy is not just saying the Rosary to be protected or praying the Chaplet of Mercy as a routine. Even the Incarnation was the greatest gift of God’s mercy for the entire world. And He chose me, your mother, to bring God’s mercy to it. I said yes with His grace and GOD’S MERCY HAD A FACE on earth. Your work is to grow in this truth. The entire point is to LOVE GOD AND HIS CREATURES, and this should show up through your entire life, which means, His mercy lived in your life, always trying to be merciful to your companions on earth. That starts your first work of evangelization, or said differently, you start entering into the mystery of God’s mercy. He does transform souls but His mercy cannot penetrate hearts that have not understood His tender love them, His mercy, but once you truly believe in this special love of God in action for His creatures, His grace will show these souls the way and then, they will open their hearts to receive it. Remember the story of Daniel and companions… They evangelized the gentiles through their call for God’s mercy.
“Once received on top of the Sacraments of initiation, it is bound to grow and become a great love affair as they respond to His tender love! In other words, this is the journey of faith in His love for you and others. The more it is understood and lived, a personal experience or relationship with Jesus, Who is the Face of God’s mercy, grows daily and Satan becomes more desperate. So, the growth in this personal relationship with Him, this relationship of love becomes the greatest obstacle for Satan to overcome! Satan cannot fight the love between Him and you. Prayer and time spent with His Real Presence is indispensable, yet prayer without living this love affair ends up in words but no in growth in your trust of His love for you!
“When you say the word MERCY, THINK that you are talking of the love between God for you and the entire world. React to this truth with thanksgiving and choose always to remember that He is with you day and night, and that Satan cannot do anything of lasting value against you. Call Vallejo.” (It was 9:30 AM)
This is what I wrote to my sons after my call to Vallejo:
“You will not believe it! I called the nearby city of Vallejo for an appointment to be further investigated … But I did this after praying the Holy Rosary and included all people from the Vallejo office that would have to do with me… I could not let Satan be ahead of me! And yes, it worked 100%… During and after the Rosary I was given the dictation of what the Mercy of God is all about! I never understood these things well … and yes, His mercy will deal with the evil one… After this 20 minutes dictation, I was told to call Vallejo.
“I found Sheryl. I said, “I am Dr. so and so…” and I told her about what I was seeking, that is, to be investigated for something. She asked if Concord had sent my papers to Sacramento?… I told her that nothing had been done because back in February they had found a problem with my photo but they did not know what the problem was. However, they had forgotten to give me the paper with Vallejo office’s phone number to initiate the investigation as they did this past Friday, nor they had taken my photo. That it was last Friday when they took my photo but that due to my problem they could not do much about it… She asked me for my driver’s license number. She sounded O.K. I had been mandated to indentify myself as a doctor just to give them the idea that I was a college educated Hispanic.
“Sheryl turned out to be an angel. She said that I WAS NOT BEING INVESTIGATED AT ALL… The problem was that something happened in my records by which my photo did not coincide with my finger print as it is in Sacramento. Therefore, they only wanted to clarify which finger print was mine and see my face. That she would tell her manager who is back tomorrow and he will assign an investigator to make an appointment with me and put together my photo with the finger print. She said that something was the matter with the Concord people and that they should have done this more expediently. (I agreed 100% but said nothing). I told her that this department had not understood what was wrong in the first place and that I was seeking an answer since I have a bad eye which sees but not perfectly and a good right eye, because I go to daily Mass and do the shopping for food. She said that she will see to it that her manager will ask Sacramento for a copy of my photo and finger print and that the answer most likely will come back by this Friday May 1. She apologized again for the wait. Then is when I will hear by phone from an investigator as to when he/she wants to see my face in Vallejo… to compare my photo/finger print with theirs…!!!
“I thanked her for at least giving me a clear explanation of my reasons for being investigated and how she knew what had to be done. She repeated, “You are not being investigated. They only want to be sure that your photo and finger print matches the ones in Sacramento. We are soooo sorry for this inconvenience but Concord made many mistakes in handling this. They should have forwarded to us your entire record that they have in order for us to know what you were calling about.” I told her that as of Friday, Concord could not even get in my site because it was down.
“I had laughed several times during our conversation as I told her that I was happy to at least hear what was going on… TRULY, I LAUGHED BECAUSE I WAS FULL OF JOY, that joy the one does not know where it comes from, except from the Holy Ghost, PLUS, I was armed with the weapon given to me in dictation just 15 minutes before, that is trust in His mercy like I never had before, ever!!!! As we were saying good-bye, I thanked her very much and called her an angel. She apologized again for so many mistakes and I said, out of my soul, “No, do not worry. As a Christian I have to accept errors from others because we all make mistakes and because I have to meet them where they are at and not changed!” She thanked me again and said that because they have been working with so many thousands of immigrants without papers, they are exhausted!!!
“So, this is the update… The good thing is that I passed my test in the eyes of God and received a great teaching to share with my readers of the blog… I am sorry if I talked too much about God, but again, it is truly a way to describe Satan’s actions in our lives, and St. Ignatius of Loyola was an expert on demonic work. PLEASE NOTICE HOW CONFUSION IS the devil’s MAGICAL WORK in this story. Nobody knew what to do!
“Thank you for all those who are praying for me and keep praying for me. I suspect that this problem with my eyes and the problem with the DMV, both are pretty much the same, and your brother here says that it seems that people made mistakes and they want to make me responsible for their mistakes, and all came in a matter of 3 days… Amazing… But all of this was so important for me to place my eyes on Satan and to receive an extraordinary teaching for the blog to be posted in 3 days…
“I do believe that forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves; it’s really not even for the person we choose to forgive but for us. We only do harm to ourselves when we harbor resentment and vitriol toward another. I do believe that everything is forgivable; some things are inexcusable but forgivable.” (End of note to sons)
Sunday, April 26
I did offer the Mass in thanksgiving for the victory over all this mess, that is, for not registering any hatred or resentment for anybody! My joy during the entire Mass was unbelievable. I was convinced that this month of April’s trials were all allowed by God to purify me even more. I am expecting major miracles regarding my health, since death for me is gain and I doubt that He wants me to go home to Him right away…
Wednesday, April 30, 2015
I kept inquiring of the Lord why was it that I was having so much trouble in hurrying up to finish this blog? Of course, my eyes are worse than last month but somehow I felt that I could have done a better job. However, little did I know that I had to go through another visit from Satan…
One week ago, I had ordered the re-filling of a prescription for an antiviral drug called Zovirax. This virus had migrated to my meninges back in the early 90’s when I started having headaches that would not get better even with pain medication. I suddenly thought of this virus being present in my meninges or the cover sheet over our brains, and decided to take Zovirax. At the time, I did order my own drugs. Four errors had been committed by doctors so far and I wanted to stay away from them as best as I could. After the Zovirax, my pain went away within 48 hours. Ever since, if I have a headache in my whole head (not a one sided migraine headache due to eating chocolate for example, which I never do or drink wine which I NEVER, EVER DRINK because I hate the taste) I treat it with Zovirax, and it works shortly after.
I ordered this refill via Internet and it was not done because I was told that Walgreen’s did not have any such order for Zovirax. Well, it meant that I had to make a trip to this pharmacy and walk almost like a football field to get to the actual area of the pharmacy and show them the container which says that I have two more refills. Today I had to do it no matter the high temperature outside or any pain involved, since I had been taking all that I had for a headache. I went in and they did not know why they had erased it!!!!!! The old pharmacist was very nice and said that my insurance over Medicare would not pay for it because I had until May 4th to reorder. Well, it took me by surprise. Even if it were so, four days before the due date is always perfect since one does not wait for the medicine to be gone to refill it. CONFUSION AND MORE CONFUSION from a human being who was so nice. This happened because my primary doctor had ordered this drug to be taken one per day and it would last until May 4.… She knows I am a doctor and she probably wrote it that way for no particular reason. Months ago in a previous Internet order, she had written the correct way: “Take it as needed for viral re-activation.” I ended up paying $59 out of pocket to get this medication…
Yet, this particular branch of Walgreen’s is prone to make mistakes… It is not the first time. I have wondered for some time how can I advice to this group to be more careful!!! I had to make a line to pay for the drug and I told the waiting client No. 5 that I would sit down but that I would go after him. A little later, another woman came after him and I got up and explained to her that was in line but that because I use a cane, I had chosen to wait sitting down. She said that there would be no problem. So it was… I got up in the last minutes and told her how my prescription had been erased from the pharmacy’s record and that I had to walk all the way to show them the container which proved I had more refills. She looked at me and said nothing but looked intrigued. I added, “However, all of us can make mistakes. I do not blame them with so many clients.” Yet, as I went to be taken care of, she went ahead of me to the same technician and said to him, “I am the pharmacy director. Please open the door because I am going in.” He did it immediately and obviously, she was not known to them. I suddenly realized that she was doing some checking up of this particular pharmacy and I did tell her of the error. She was not a client. She was one of the bosses… I realized that God had answered my desire to alert them to be more careful for their own good and the good of many sick people. THE LESSON: THE TIMING OF GOD IS SUPER FANTASTIC. He knew that I had a good point and that it was for their benefit; so, He arranged the meeting!!! This is how God’s mercy works…
As you can see, some of us are receiving a call to pay attention and weird things are happening in our lives, at least in mine. The more I suffer, that much more I do not resent and in fact I end up with much joy… At one point, I thought that I would not write this blog for his month because I am not feeling well and my vision is worse than ever before. I wrote the entire blog with huge letters to make it easier for me. Later I decreased the size before posting it. I asked the Lord to guide me and perhaps not post anything now or ever. He answered in the Bible in a page from the Prophet Jeremiah where I had the word “yes” to proceed. “Yes” is not a common word as you know.
Here I am going to close this blog with what I “see” going on.
THE END TIMES ARE HERE whether at the beginning, middle or end stages and I have no doubt about it. Everything is a disaster and our King clearly explained the signs of the times.
Matthew 24: 3-14 – As He was sitting in the Mount of Olives, the disciples approached Him privately and said, “Tell us, when will this happen and what sign will there be of Your coming, and of the end of the age? Jesus said to them in reply, “See that no one deceives you. For many will come in My name saying, ‘I am the Messiah,’ and they will deceive many. You will hear of wars and reports of wars; see that you are not alarmed, for these things must happen, but it will not be yet the end. Nation will rise against nation and kingdom against kingdom; there will be famines and earthquakes from place to place. ALL THESE ARE THE BEGINNING OF THE LABOR PAINS. Then they will hand you over to persecution, and they will kill you. You will be hated by all nations because of My name. And then many will be led into sin; they will betray and hate one another. Many false prophets will arise and deceive many; and because of the increase of evildoing, the love of many will grow cold. But the one who perseveres to the end will be saved. AND THIS GOSPEL OF THE KINGDOM WILL BE PREACHED THROUGHOUT THE WORLD AS A WITNESS TO ALL NATIONS, AND THEN THE END WILL COME.”
The Words of Jesus are pointing out that He will come back again. The most important thing is to remember that we all have to be prepared at all times for any calamities prior to the end and for his last coming since no one knows when it will happen, except for the Father in heaven.
Certainly, wars were the story of the day in the XX C. At the end of the XX C until now we have seen a speedy run towards total moral decadence in the worse ways possible. A friend of mine wrote to me and described how difficult is to live in these times raising a family. He described his concern in a brilliant way and said,
“There is so much going on that my own family fails to realize how he (Satan) wants to infiltrate our home everywhere. Be it music, movies, new interest in Harry Potter, electronics and even the Disney “family” channel. It’s EVERYTHING! School too brings confusion with so many of their school mates who support the approval of abortion. It’s difficult to explain to them but they get it. In many ways it already feels wrong to them so if I can keep this right and wrong feeling going then that’s helpful. I don’t even want to take them to the mall anymore. I sometimes feel like a paranoid schizophrenic and end up questioning my own judgment not knowing if my concerns are over the top or legitimate. How can I keep good balance with all these temptations the children must encounter daily?. Sometimes I agree and understand the Amish way.” (End of quote.)
How beautiful is to see a younger father so concerned about his family. The family nucleus is not doubt a major way to be always preparing for the end times.
I add that the technology for a super speedy communication with every corner of the world is simply amazing… 30 years ago I would not have fathomed such phenomena and this has served the purpose of multiplying the spread of lies and waste of time in the social media. Earthquakes are also becoming more and more powerful as the one in Nepal with countless people perishing. California is expecting something similar within the next 30 years. Furious tornadoes and inclement weather have also been seen in this year of 2015. To me, this only means that God is calling our attention regarding how little power we have over the weather as if wanting to remind us that anytime we actually could be destroyed altogether if He allows it. The times of Noah are a good reminder of what could happen to us…
If I place all of these points in a basket and keep them in a corner of my soul, I may be making a major mistake. We have to keep all of these powerful events in mind but ABOVE EVERYTHING, we MUST REALIZE THAT GOD IS IN TOTAL CONTROL, and that He expects us to trust in His mercy, in His most tender love for each one of us… and we then, should spend more time in becoming adept to undergo a daily conversion, one of total TRUST IN HIS LOVE FOR US, IN HIS REAL PRESENCE ON THIS EARTH, in accepting that HE HAS A PLAN and how He came to us to leave us a community called CHURCH, in order to help us walk this journey of FAITH, OF HOPE AND OF LOVE, regardless of what is going on. Said in other words, the call is for some of us, supposedly true disciples of Jesus the Christ and our King, TO RUN TO KEEP sharing the Truth of the Gospel with others but mainly with our own lives. In other words, the call is
A. To quit describing to no end what is wrong in our times besides having a general idea of the problems. The time has arrived for us to talk to no end about how are we SEEKING a personal conversion as we beg God for His mercy…However, I MUST MENTION THE LATEST HORRORS I HAVE just LEARNED which are happening right now, and please keep this in mind as you go to point B. For example:
1. Our country is going through a major decision in the higher courts all the way to the Supreme Court regarding the definition of marriage and it continues to be one involving huge controversy. Right now, same sex couples are asking to be treated equally as marriages between a man and a woman. I do not want to go on with the different opinions because it would be an interminable subject matter. However, even if we would not pay attention to the definition that Jesus gave us, of marriage being between a man and a woman, we are opening the door to further definitions like marriage between one man and 2 or 3 women!!! Or why not, marriage between a human and an animal! Why not?
Also, Satan is giving us FEAR when we Christians are faced with this calamity. Fear is the antithesis of trust in God’s love for us. WE CANNOT FEAR ANYTHING OR ANYBODY… Nothing will happen to us if we simply trust in His love. Please be careful if you ever have fear regarding this issue. We can win this war with His help…
By the way, are we praying for the Supreme Court Judges? For years I have added them to my community Rosary as follows: 1) U. S. Supreme Court Justices plus 2) U. S. Congress House and Senate 3) U. S. President, Cabinet, Advisors
2. In China, the one child policy is now called by westerners a “gendercide,” since women are being exterminated. China has the highest suicide rate in the world, and some 590 women commit suicide per day? If the first child is a girl, they have permission for a second pregnancy but if is another girl, they force mothers to abort the child even late in the pregnancy. All this information came through EWTN’s program, The World Over with Raymond Arroyo. It will repeat this Sunday May 3rd and Monday May 4th. It is worthwhile to hear these facts. They showed a mother who was forced to abort her child at 7 months of pregnancy, and they placed the baby’s dead body at her side and asked her to pay for the killing of this baby!!!!
This country of China is claiming that they have killed 400 million lives and in this way they are helping to control climate warming!!! We truly have a lot of real mental illness in this regime! Do we pray for their government officials? I do not but I will!
3. Millions of people are displaced and migrating out of Nigeria, Syria and some other countries. Hunger and suffering is their daily bread, even among little babies.
4. In the mean time, people are paying huge amounts of dollars for a ticket to see boxer’s Mayweather and Pacquiao hit each other this coming weekend and Mayweather will make about 180 million dollars with a win. Pacquiao will make a little less or about $100 millions. Also, huge crowds attend the final games for the final winner of the National Basketball Association. We waste money while millions are hungry and homeless in the entire world!
5. ISIS members have said as of yesterday that Christians are heretics and they all must die. I wonder if they have at least one ounce of truth… How can we call ourselves Christians and do what He wants but sporadically? How many of us can call ourselves Christians and never spend time with Him in prayer? For us Catholics who believe in His Real Presence on this earth, how much time we dedicate to say hello to Him besides the time of Mass on Sunday’s or perhaps not even on Sunday’s?
B. The call for some of us is to stop programs and talks and retreats to express personal opinions on what we should do or not, and instead, to insist in preaching to our brothers and sisters with our own actions, that is, with our own ongoing conversion. To do such thing, we must try to remember a few things:
1. Prayerfully studying the Bible often, hopefully a few days per week but not just to obtain knowledge but as a guide to follow and to obey what we read.
2. We should stop lectures on how to become disciples and instead, establish groups in each parish where we can share how we are living a true discipleship. This was supposed to be done after Vatican II. Let’s move on to pray daily asking for the grace to have the Holy Spirit guide us in how to truly be disciples BUT ACT ON IT and share it with others. God needs us transformed to work for the salvation of the many.
3. We should be implementing programs where we sit down together or personally to identify what stage of the journey with Christ we are at.
1) Are we truly in love with Jesus? If so, are we afraid of dying? If we are afraid of dying, then we are certainly not truly in love with Him and ready to follow His will for us with blind eyes. There is nothing wrong with this fault as long as we pray much to advance in learning how to deeply love Him.
2) Are we worried about material possessions in preparation for our retirement? If we are then we are not truly trusting in God’s providence. If we do not trust it means that we do not feel loved by Him with the tenderest love ever possible. We simply do not know His mercy as being real but only as a concept. It is time to accept what we are lacking and ask God for His mercy for us to run and change for His glory and the salvation of others.
3) Do we live a day at a time saying yes to God’s will for everything, including any suffering and persecution that He is allowing? If not, we are far away from being a true disciple who denies himself/herself, embraces all crosses and tries to do what Jesus did.
4) Do we daily consult the Holy Spirit for everything we do or say and as often as necessary? If not, it is time to pray much to get the grace to do so. He is a loving God who loves to answer prayers for us, most especially those that bring us closer to Him.
5) Do we pray enough once a day and feel that it is all we have to do, and proceed to live our lives separate from God’s presence? If we do such thing, we are certainly making of this relationship a pure joke!
6) Do we put others first in our agenda, anyone we meet or find, or a friend, or a relative and try at all cost to deliver some form of love to them? If we do not do it, we are acting like pagans. And always, we do not have to do very well any of the things enumerated so far. We only have to try to be merciful the best we can and ask the Holy Spirit to help us.
7) Do we pray the Holy Rosary as a nice daily duty but not realizing the power of the Word of God in the Our Father which He composed, and in each Hail Mary, words that describe our Mother with words of the Angel Gabriel and her cousin Elizabeth plus our constant call to her to pray for us?
8) Do we recite the Chaplet of Mercy again as a series of words and not as a POWERFUL FORM OF ATONING FOR OUR SINS AND THOSE OF THE WHOLE WORLD, PLUS ASKING FOR GOD’S MERCY? Do we realize what the words, “God’s Mercy” mean? Do we enter into the truth of this prayer and realize that God loves us with a most tender love, like that of a Mom for her baby, and that His mercy is not just a compassionate love for us due to our sins, but a crazy love for us because He created us in His image for a particular purpose and eventually, to live with Him for all eternity?
9) Do we truly think that we have a personal relationship with Jesus? Do we think that we are evangelizers? We should ask the Holy Spirit to tell us the truth! He will!
I want to be sure and explain again that I take the time to zero in our need for conversion, each one of us according to our stage in the spiritual life but ALSO as a declaration that GOD’S GRACE IS AVAILABLE to do all of the above! WE ONLY NEED TO WANT TO DO IT and for the right reasons, just to love Him back and give Him glory plus in thanksgiving for His crazy merciful love for us.
I had a very rough month. Injustices were perpetrated and persecutors tried very hard to blame me for their own faults. YET, I WANT TO DECLARE and REPEAT HERE that I never felt resentment for their deeds. Instead, joy was obvious in all cases and circumstances and this was HIS MERCY all over me. Therefore, He is real. He is here with us. He is crazy about each one of us. If God allowed me to go through this misery and I find His mercy illuminating my daily walk, it is obvious that He wants me to tell you about it because He loves you so much, the one reading this blog right now, that He wants to be sure that you can trust in His love for you as unique, as if none of us existed by only you. Remember, if you are reading this message, you believe in it but I am not talking about believing only. I am talking about LIVING IT…
Satan will be there trying to harass us but will not be able to destroy our soul ever on this earth or for eternity. So, our transfiguration into the most exciting evangelist is possible. It is obvious that praying for this gift of understanding such love for us is super important; BUT WHAT IS BASIC AND ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY is to LOVE HIM BACK by doing His will for us second by second. And what about the evil one, how to keep him tied up? You may answer, “God will do it.” Of course, He can do it but we have to cooperate in this spiritual warfare. But how?
Here is my understanding. Our Lady is famous for having appeared in this world, specially her first major apparition in 1492 in Tepeyac, Mexico. She is standing over a serpent! Huh! The artist who painted her picture as Our Lady of Guadalupe was not human… God Himself did it. And her yes to God’s will was determinant for this power she has over Satan, since she did what Satan did not do when he rebelled against God and was thrown out of heaven. So, Satan started working overtime since the times of Adam and Eve.Corollary: it all means that OUR YES TO GOD’S WILL, is the determinant factor that will give us POWER OVER SATAN… Many things will help out: the Rosary, Holy Water, prayer against the evil one, etc. but the actual projectile that stops Satan from any victory over us is OUR YES TO GOD’S WILL IN EVERYTHING AND ALWAYS.
We tend to see the spiritual life as a list of things we must do or not do… Actually, the spiritual life is our personal relationship with Jesus with our total understanding that love for Him and neighbor, executed or practiced by our yes to His will and our merciful acts for our neighbor, can give us the power and success to grow in our personal relationship with Him. GRACE TO DO THIS is available… His merciful love is available. His Holy Spirit is available living within us. Happiness and joy in the midst of major crosses is available 24/7. And one more thing: it is basic NEVER TO WONDER IF WE CAN SPIRITUALLY GROW OR BECOME A SAINT… These thoughts are not necessary at all. What is necessary is to act as the Saints did, as Our Mother did, as Jesus did to show us the Way, the Truth and the Life of joy and happiness. Satan will be after us trying to make us doubt, have fear and grow in resentment towards our brothers and sisters. O.K. That is all that he can do. We can, in the other hand, pray to our Mother with the Rosary to protect us from Satan and of course, imitate her to do whatever He tells us, and voila, we get the power she has over Satan. The war against Satan will be here until we die… Yet, like in the case of Daniel and companions, we simply ask for God’s mercy, or God’s tender love for us and the entire multitude in Heaven will be praying for us and we will win every war possible as the Israelites did against their enemies. It is soo simple.
Sí SE PUEDE!… YES, IT CAN BE DONE! One more thing: At least try to do God’s will for 2 weeks for everything that comes your way and examine what happens! However, you must comply with His will with purity of intention; not out of curiosity or to gain favors from God but OUT OF THE DESIRE TO BECOME A TRUE DISCIPLE for His glory and to be able to become a powerful evangelist out of love for our neighbor.
I want to close this blog with what I heard someone say in EWTN/Español
“Los que tienen la fuerza de cambiar el mundo con amor, deben de hacer lo ordinario en forma extraordinaria.”
Translation: “Those who have the power to change the world with love, must do the ordinary in an extraordinary way.”
To me, it means that we have to love like never before and live our daily lives doing all that is required of us with great desire to obey His will with every breath.
P. S. Please keep praying for me. To those who prayed for me this past month, I say THANK YOU! I was able to make it and although still in the middle of the storm, I have had joy and peace… and I owe that your prayers. I pray for every reader daily with my community Rosary intertwined with the Chaplet of Mercy and do it with great love!