A call to prepare my soul for the Year of Mercy

I am going to start this blog with a statement that I read in Facebook but in Spanish, which I will translate. It forced me to take a moment and think much about how I have to commit myself to a serious journey of conversion before I live the year where we all will celebrate our Lord’s mercy.

“No existe falta de tiempo, existe falta de interés. Porque cuando la gente realmente quiere, la madrugada se vuelve día; el martes se vuelve sábado y un momento se vuelve oportunidad.”

Translation: Lack of time does not exist. It is lack of interest because when people really want, dawn becomes day, Tuesday becomes Saturday and every moment becomes an opportunity.

This month has been very interesting because God keeps showing up in many places and times, some where I have to announce the Gospel to someone else; some where I have to share my reversal of memory loss with someone else that is rather young and already forgetting many things. It amazes me how He uses all of us to show His mercy to others… We are ambassadors of His mercy. And one of my conversions to seek in the next 8 months is to think of others first and foremost, remembering that every moment becomes an opportunity, and this leads me to pay extreme attention to the voice of the Holy Spirit. However, to hear Him well, I must dress myself with the YES of Our Lady at all times in order to become pregnant with the Truth, the Life and the Way. Therefore, constantly I must agree with God’s will for me, no matter how much my knees hurt, just because all crosses are part of His will and purifiers of my soul to truly become a disciple. In this way, I will be directed to keep appointments with people that I never met but that need my witness of faith or medical and personal knowledge of matters of health (Hmm. It rhymed!)

I will now proceed to share details of the days of March 2015 where I met Him in the needs of my neighbor, of my Church or learned something important for my own health, etc. I will close with the conclusions of how and why I must prepare for this upcoming year of Mercy. Please pay attention at how the Devil was as active as he could in these past days… and therefore, showing me that he wanted to tempt me to feel much resentment, which in turn would diminish my spiritual hearing of the Holy Spirit’s guidance. Also, it is a sign that he did not want me to write this blog at all… Its content is probably menacing to him! This is good news for me in order to fight to the end to finish this blog and one that I started super late… It will be a long one… Sorry. Yet, I hope that you will feel energized to also prepare yourselves for the Extraordinary Jubilee Year of Divine Mercy!

Sunday, March 1

On this day I learned of some news traveling among us local Catholic people that were signs of an unjust persecution of someone I know. I remembered my days of persecution and realized that Satan as always has become nervous and he is temptinmg people to act against their neighbor. Satan was triumphant because I started resenting the people who generated this attack against a fellow Catholic, and of course, I had to repent ASAP and ask for God’s mercy for me and actually right now feel some sort of love (not much) for these people and pray for them. His mercy did work! The important point in here and which I realized much later, is that as we approach the Year of Mercy, Satan will work full time in getting after the Church to seed it with division, confusion, lies and much resentment in order for many to live this upcoming blessed Year in a blind state for spiritual things, especially to understand the enormity of the power of His Mercy and how deeply He loves us.

Also on this day I listened in EWTN to the monthly program, “Franciscan University Presents”, where a Jesuit priest explained about the 7 capital sins. It was extraordinary and I was able to tape it in a DVD when it repeated towards the end of the week. If you want to check up the promo, go to www.faithandreason.com/franciscan-university-presents/ I taped it just to be sure that I can review it here and there and understand well some of the ways that we can incur in such practices, even to the point that at a first glance we do not quite see it that way.

 Monday, March 2.

This was my birthday of years on this earth… However, for a long time I truly feel that my real birthday is on July 17, the day I was baptized and became a daughter of my Father in heaven. Also, my chronological age does not reflect how I look. I have mentioned it before how in my hospitalizations of August of 2013, nursing personnel would come to ask me what I did to look 20 years younger… Well, it is true because for the last 25 years, I have fed my body all the supplements it needs to make healthy new cells that are younger and with more vitality at all levels (remember that we shed about 10,000 cells per day and make more and a recent related study is posted at the end of this blog) and I also kept up with the naturopathic side of medicine (the one that aims to use nutrition as a way to PREVENT DISEASE). We call how we look, our “real” age versus our “chronological” age.

Even to this month of March 2015, people keep coming to me (strangers in supermarkets or in my parish) to tell me how beautiful I look whether regarding the color of my hair or the way I dress… I mention it again because God allows it and therefore, I have zero pride or desire to do it to be singled out and liked… Also, Satan gets defeated in this part of my life. On the other hand, I know that God wants me to mix the good with suffering (like pain in knees with so many allergies plus the other harassments from Satan). He knows that as human beings, these crosses can become super difficult and sends us signs of how much He loves us using His children to do it.

However, something huge happened on this day after Communion. As I was thanking Jesus about all the blessings received, so many that I cannot even repeat how many, He came through an said, “Let’s deal on this your birthday: if you promise Me to offer all your sufferings for the Roman Catholic Church, but truly with a merciful heart that loves all Catholic members as my Images, and pray often for them with Rosaries, I promise you to find the funding for your son’s schooling (one of my sons want to get a PhD in his field of expertise). Is it a deal?" I took me a few seconds to recover from what I had heard. Wow. At that moment, I was not thinking of this son’s needs at all plus it came from Him because He was inside of me… Satan would not have a chance in these short minutes of togetherness to suggest it to me and something which could jeopardize his work because it would mean more trust from me for God’s love. I finally said, "Yes, I promise. It is a deal."

It was clear for me that I cannot waste any more time and live whatever God wants of me for the healing of this our Church. When it was done, I realized that He chose this day probably to make a serious plea on behalf of His Church but so that I would never forget the date that we dealt for this intention.

 

Back on February 28, I had an appointment with my ophthalmologist whose office is far away from my home; I was given some eye drops to hopefully decrease the minor increase of intra ocular pressure I have in both eyes (glaucoma). I used them for the first time on this day after Mass… since I wanted to choose a week day in case there was any allergic reaction… Sure enough, my eyes became red like strawberries and it lasted for 48 hours…That was the end for all drops since I would be afraid of trying another kind, and therefore, he had suggested to use laser to normalize my intra-ocular pressure.

Tuesday, March 3

On this day I heard a priest from Honduras via EWTN in Spanish, Juan Angel Lopez. He said, We must educate our conscience and learn to say YES to the truth and NO to lies, because the TRUTH will always be the truth, and a LIE will always be a lie. We must remember what our Lord Jesus said,  ‘SAY YES OR NO. ANYTHING ELSE COMES FROM SATAN.’ Many say, ‘My conscience does not bother me for what I do.’ Of course, if you do not have a FORMED conscience, you cannot recognize the truth and therefore, it will never bother you.” — What a beautiful truth!

Well, when God wants me to learn something and not to forget it, He leads me to hear it from different sources. This happened on this day with the EWTN’s Mass. The first reading was from Isaiah 1:10, 16-20 who wrote, “Hear the Word of the Lord,…wash yourselves clean! Put away your misdeeds from before my eyes; cease doing evil; learn to do good. Make justice your aim: redress the wronged, hear the orphan’s plea, defend the widow… If you are willing and obey, you shall eat the good things of the land; but if you refuse and resist, the sword shall consume you, for the mouth of the Lord has spoken!”  In the Gospel (Mathew 23:1-12) we read, “Jesus spoke to the crowds and to His disciples, saying, ‘The scribes and the Pharisees have taken their seat on the chair of Moses. Therefore, do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you, but do not follow their example for they preach but they do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens hard to carry and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to move them. All their works are performed to be seen…”

The homilist, Fr. Mitch Pacwa among other things said that It is important to make an examination of conscience to seek holiness not as an abstract, but as a kind of love where we give ourselves to God and neighbor, setting up the right relationship with others, and this gives the possibility of a true change and conversion. The antidote to religious pride is to take the attention from us and focus it on God’s greatness and on those around us.” Another beautiful message!

Slowly but surely, the Lord was taking me to understand that I must prepare for the year of Mercy by keeping an eye in my conscience (even that this concept was not clear as yet until later when He explained it to me). Is my conscience well formed? Do I write a blog of the do’s and don’ts and yet do not practice it? Do I keep an eye on how much I love God (therefore doing His will always) and for my neighbor as the primary actions of my life, and pay little attention to anything else like what I want, and as Isaiah suggestedà  knowing quite well that if I am willing and obey, I shall eat the good things of the land; but if I refuse and resist, the sword shall consume me?

Wednesday, March 4

I made a deal with my Mother in heaven. At 9:45 AM, she said, “Before you start to do whatever (e.g.: cleaning, cooking, going shopping), or any actions that demand much of your physical body and some suffering, ALWAYS STOP AND OFFER the possible upcoming suffering for the Catholic Church, asking for God’s mercy for her, and in this way you can practice what you promised my Son on March 2nd, because it places you in a better mood or disposition to be patient and accepting (embracing) the cross for that particular moment. She sent me to the bottom of a page in the Bible

Wisdom 10:9-10, 11-12. Wisdom preserves her followers. “But wisdom delivered from tribulations those who served her. She, when the just man fled from his brother’s anger, guided him in direct ways, showed him the kingdom of God and gave him knowledge of holy things; she prepared him in his labors and made abundant the fruits of his works; stood by him against the greed of defrauders, and enriched him; she preserved him from foes and secured him against ambush, and she gave him the prize for his stern struggle that he might know that devotion to God is mightier than all else.”

Our Lady: “This offering for the good of others, in this case for the entire Catholic Church, is wisdom at work! It is living life under the Wisdom of God’s love for you!”

As you can see, there was a plan of instruction for me and being developed little by little, and of course, most of this time, I was not seeing well what was going on, until days later! However, I made a card to have nearby, in my house dress pocket at home or in my purse when going out, to “wire” my brain up so that in a nearby future, I learn to do it automatically  I dated it March 2nd, which was when I was asked to deal with Him for this intention. This is what my card says,

With this work (activity, chore, ) I offer any suffering associated with it, IN ATONEMENT for the sins of the Roman Catholic Church, asking God to shower His mercy over all her members and for their sanctification.

Thursday, March 5

I had started taking the herb Vinpocetin that I had introduced to you in my previous blog. Just as a reminder, Vinpocetine is a nutritional supplement derived from the periwinkle plant and it used for memory and brain function and several other good things in our bodies. The supplement is already very much in use in Europe.

By now, I had noticed a big change in my vision of the left eye, making it better by 30 to 40%. Unfortunately, a few days later, I had a scratch in my right arm and it bled forever. Of course, Vinpocetine does act as aspirin increasing the bleeding time, and it was a big sign that God sent me to realize that I could not keep taking it. I receive left intra-ocular injections every 8 weeks or so, and of course, I would have to stop it before each injection anyway since it could be dangerous in producing bleeding. Worse, each of these medicines that increase bleeding time, need different times to quit acting as such after one stops them. I could not find in the Internet any information regarding how many days I would need to stop it before an injection.  

I mention this because this is the way that God signs to me that He is into every detail of my life, especially something so important. I knew that it acted as aspirin does but never imagined that much worse than aspirin. I only could make the decision of stopping it by seeing the results in my own body! These little details help me build my trust in His love and little by little, I worry less and less about whatever is going on in my life. He is real and alive and loves me sooo much, that He would not allow me to get confused.

In this same day, I heard a homily where the priest said that to believe in the real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist is an act of faith. Well, I would add a twist to this truth and say something slightly different (and pleeease always remember that I am not a theologian…) I know that He is really present and for sure. When I was a little girl, He gave me such gift. However, now as an old lady I know it and I am surer about it as time passes by because He shows me His love all the time and I feel a deep love for Him present in every Tabernacle. Here is the twist: FOR ME, FAITH IS WHEN I HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT HE IS TOTALLY IN CHARGE OF MY LIFE and act accordingly, that is, to abandon myself to His divine providence by expecting Him to win all my battles, little ones and huge ones. For me, faith is to do His will and not matter what.

If I am told that to believe in His Real Presence demands my faith, well, I would accept it but how to muster such faith since faith is a gift? Of course, we could ask for this gift of faith for this particular belief. Unfortunately, it seems that we hear it and let stay at a level of a mental knowledge believing that it is but not truly acting within our hearts that He is Real and to sense such Presence and adore Him as Real.? What I would love to hear is that to believe in His Real Presence we have to feel it as we enter a Church and to offer Him homage with profound praise and adoration, and that to thank Him for staying with us on earth, we faithfully DO HIS WILL and always; by believing this, we develop a personal relationship with Him, and therefore, IT BECOMES A MATTER OF LOVE BETWEEN Him and us. Such relationship takes us to grow in our love for Him in each Tabernacle and as we receive Him, and then voila, BELIEVING IN HIS REAL PRESENCE becomes a fact.

Again, this does not apply to me 100% because of my experience of His Presence as a child, but for anybody else, again, what they need is to DO HIS WILL no matter what, and this opens the door to a personal relationship, and this love carries them to find Him truly present in the Eucharist, not as an accepted concept but as true reality… Tough explanation, I know, but I have to share it because when I received it, I was praying and suddenly much was clear in my mind. I usually call the Holy Spirit right at the moment to be sure that I am not being confused by my flesh or the devil. Of course, I could be wrong… I am only a poor servant. If anybody doubts it, well, try to abandon yourself to Divine Providence or read the book, “Abandonment to Divine Providence,” by Jean Pierre de Caussade, S.J. I have extensively quoted that book in past blogs. Do whatever He tells you and you will see the water turning into wine in your own life (as in Cana). Then you find yourself loving Him in the Sacred Host like you would love any other human being. And at that moment, you know that He is truly present, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity in the Eucharist.

Saturday, March 7

9:15 AM. My Mother said, “Learn to grow in mercy for the Church; never look at her with eyes of resentment for whatever has been done wrongly because it does not help you and obstructs your path to seek holiness for God’s glory. And worse, your lack of mercy only offends God Who has given you His mercy in abundance with no merit of your own, except because He loves you so much!”

I was given a page in the Bible. Joshua Chapters 9 and10. The story tells how even that one of his enemies fooled Joshua, God intervened by leading them to take Joshua’s side and then he proceeded to defeat the rest of Israel’s enemies.

Our Lady: “Never forget to remember Joshua chapter 4, that you read at the Marriot Hotel while you visited Houston, TX in 1989. He proposed to you a move to another city with an offer of a job. You received the offer three days later when you returned home and it came from Cleveland and to where you moved from south Bend Indiana. Remember that this move was essential for the future of your family. Therefore, God will win all your battles as He did with Joshua in this story of today that you just read. (She was referring to my many health problems and how they will be conquered by God if I simply do whatever He tells me…)

Monday, March 9

I was worried about how little I had been studying in preparation for the driving test to renew my driver’s license on March 13. My Mother said that the most important thing to do in order to be ready for this test was to study some but to EXPECT GOD TO WIN THIS BATTLE… SHE IS ALWAYS AROUND with great advice. I then remembered Joshua chapters 9 and 10!

Feeling much better, I turned the television on and checked on EWTN/español and I found the beginning of a 30 minute program on St. Teresa of the Andes. Many years ago (around 2002), I had seen her life in EWTN depicted as a movie with Chilean actors and actresses and with English subtitles. This time, it was a series of interviews done in 2003 with different still living members of her family and the priest vice-postulator of her cause for canonization, and all in Spanish. The story was supposed to continue for four more days… I immediately remembered how I have gotten so interested in her life since I was brought up with St. Teresa of Avila as a real family member (I have told this story many times and on the side of this blog in the section of “pages,” I have related the story of my formation as a Carmelite follower and why). In those days, I went to the Internet looking for the convent where she died in Auco, Chile, and wrote to the Carmelite Nuns… They sent me two second class relics of St. Teresa (pieces of her habit) and some pictures. I gave one of the relics to my then Bishop of Toledo, OH, whose birthday is on April 11, the feast day of St. Teresa. Ever since, I keep in contact with the Discalced Carmelite Nuns of the Convent of the Holy Spirit in Auco of the Andes. Every Christmas, I receive a beautiful I-card from them and just a few days ago, I received an invitation to be present at the celebration of the 500th anniversary of the birthday of St. Teresa of Avila on March 28. I answered that I would be present in spirit with them.

After I saw the series of reports on her life, I decided to look among my many books, one on her life. From this book, I will quote a few things that she wrote in her diary… and which helped me so much at this moment when my driving license was still in limbo, and Satan still very present in all of it as you will read later.

Book: “A New Hymn to God” compiled by Fr. Michael D. Griffin, O.C.D. from the Washington Province. Teresian Charism Press, 1993

The author says that this volume is entitled a New Hymn to God because the life of every Saint is an outburst of praise, a truly new song. .. How can one describe such a hymn? What words are adequate? Pope John Paul II, with great spiritual exactness, captured the essence of this young Saint’s greatness when he said,

“For her, God is infinite joy. This is the new hymn of Christian love that rises spontaneously from the soul of this young Chilean girl, in whose glorified face we can sense the grace of her transformation in Christ.”

Please note below how short of a time she spent with us…

(A few quotes) FROM THE FLIER PUBLISHED BY THE POSTULATOR FOR SAINT TERESA OF JESUS OF LOS ANDES, DISCALCED CARMELITE (1900-1920)

Saint Teresa of Jesus of the Andes (Juanita Fernandez Solar) is the first Chilean woman and the first American Discalced Carmelite Nun to be raised to the honors of the altar. She was born in Santiago, Chile, in the heart of a very comfortable Catholic family, on July 13, 1900. She was baptized on July 15 and given the names of Juana Enriqueta Josefina of the Sacred Hearts.

From the age of 6 years she attended Holy Mass almost daily with her mother and longed for the day when she would receive First Holy Communion. This happy event was celebrated on September 11, 1910. From then on, she managed to communicate daily, spending quite some time in friendly conversations with Jesus. From her childhood, Juanita had an intense Marian devotion which was one of the keys to her spirituality. Knowledge and love of the Mother of God sustained and gave life to every moment of her desire to follow Christ.

In her own words from her diary: “More or less from the time I was seven years old there took root in my soul the greatest devotion to my Mother, the Most Holy Virgin. Luis (her brother) infected me with this devotion to Mary, and I always continued it and will preserve it until I die. I confided to Mary everything that was happening to me, and She spoke to me. I heard her voice within me, quite clearly and distinctly. She advised me and told me all that I had to do to please Our Lord. I thought that this was a perfectly normal thing, and it never occurred to me to relate to others what the Most Holy Virgin was telling me. Every day, Luis invited me to say the Rosary with him and we made a promise to recite it for the rest of our lives, something that I have always done. Only once, when I was young, did I forget to recite it.”

She received her primary education at Sacred Heart College (1907 to1918) (My words: in Spanish we call primary and secondary schools, “colegio,” which does not mean university studies). Juanita felt called to Carmel from the age of 14. She prepared herself independently by reading the works of Carmelite Saints. She frequently corresponded with the Prioress of Los Andes, who was amazed at the clarity with which the 17 year old Teresa explained the Carmelite ideal and the fire with which she defended the contemplative life, which the world rejected as worthless. She lived for less than one year in the convent and died as a Discalced Carmelite novice on April 12, 1920. The religious of her convent declared that she was already a Saint when she entered. For this reason, she was able to climb to sanctity in a short time. She often declared, “Christ, so foolish is His love, that has driven me madly in love.”  She was always ready to serve others and make sacrifices for them so that there would be gaiety and happiness, and to make virtue loveable and attractive.

She attained exceptional maturity and integrated the human with the divine with admirable harmony through prayer, study and doing little things about the house. She loved sports and distinguished herself in swimming and horseback riding. St. Teresa of the Andes is an unbeatable model to attract youths in search for Christ. She serves as a reminder to all that we realize ourselves as persons in fulfilling the Gospel call to love.

In this rather small book, I also found homilies preached in the different important Masses leading to her canonization. It also includes many sections from her diary, one that she wanted to destroy when she was entering Carmel, but her mother and confessor dissuaded her from doing. Her mother kept it and eventually, turned it to the Carmelite Order after her death. Regarding her First Holy Communion, she wrote, “It seemed that day would never come, and I wept because I desired to receive Our Lord. I prepared myself for one year. The Virgin helped me to purify my heart from every imperfection.”

“My First Holy Communion Day was a day without clouds for me. The 11th of September, 1910, the centenary year of my country, was a year of happiness and of the purest memories I shall have in my entire life… What took place between my soul and Jesus is something indescribable. I asked Him a thousand times that He would take me, and I heard His sweet voice for the first time. I prayed to Him for everybody. And I felt the Virgin close to me. For the first time I experienced a delicious peace.”

In later years she wrote, “I went to Communion every day and spoke with Jesus for long periods of time. From the day of my First Communion, Our Lord spoke to me after Communion. He told me things I never expected Him to tell me, and even when I questioned Him, He told me things that were going to happen, and they did happen. I still continued to believe such things were happening to everybody who went to Communion. As a matter of fact, from that they forward, the earth held no attraction for me. I desired to die and asked Jesus to take me on the 8th of December.”

Although her college years were devoted to the serious task of studies, Juanita still was not unmindful of nor did she pass over apostolic tasks available to her. She preferred to exercise her apostolate among the poor. She distributed her own savings, and sewed for the needy, visited families, listened to their confidences, sought to bring them spiritual and material assistance, was an excellent catechist and enthusiastic collaborator with the priest in missionary activity.

From her diary we draw one episode showing her generosity and the delicacy of her charity. Juanito was an orphan boy who was very poor. Juanita loved him dearly and was constantly helping him out. One time she collected thirty pesos for her namesake. 20 of them were used to buy a pair of shoes for Juanito; the other 10 she gave to her own mother so that it would be given to the poor. She wrote:

“It is so rich to give to the poor.” On another occasion she pawned her own watch for the sake of her Juanito.

In a letter written on March 2, 1919 (about a  year before her untimely death), she narrates her participation in the Mission, as follows. “We held the Missions. The two of us (with Rebecca her sister) we taught catechism. There were more than 50 boys and even when the Missions were over, we went on instructing them every day, because the people here are very ignorant. It seems that they are being taught little or nothing in the public schools.

“Each day we went out by horseback to consecrate homes to the Sacred Heart. We were able to have 21 homes consecrated. It pains me to see that Jesus is not able to be enthroned in every home.”

She had been divinely chosen. She wrote in her diary on 1913 (at 13 years of age): “Our Lord spoke to me and made me understand how lonely and abandoned He is in the Tabernacles. He asked me to keep Him company. Then He gave me my vocation, and said that He wanted my heart for Himself. He also told me I would become a Carmelite. From that moment on I spent entire days in intimate conversation with Our Lord and felt happy to be alone. I was not living at this time my own life, but Jesus was living in me. I got up at seven. I did everything with Jesus and for Jesus. Our Lord showed me what holiness is. I would attain it by doing everything as well as possible.”

From her diary for December 7th and 8th of 1915 she wrote:

“My Mother, tomorrow I’ll doubly be your daughter. I’ll be the bride of Jesus. He will place the nuptial ring on my finger. I am happy because I am able to say in truth that He has been the only love of my life. Today, December 8, 1915, at 15 years of age, I make my vow of not admitting any other Spouse but my Lord Jesus Christ, whom I love with all my heart and want to serve Him to the last moment of my life.”

Purification needed: virginal giving and consecrating of a soul requires on her part an ever increasing purification. She understood this:

1. To be purified of her faults through penance.  The compiler of this book writes this: “The Saints are acutely aware that their voluntary faults, even the slightest ones, constitute an impediment to the perfect union they ardently desire.”

2. To be purified of all evil tendencies. In her writings they found many testimonies of these divine purifications under forms of aridity in prayer, profound darkness, abandonment and the silence of God.

April 2, 1918. “I see that God wants to prove me because at every moment He invites me to share His sufferings. I understood that it was through them that I will become like the Crucified Jesus. This is my only goal… Yes, I want to be crucified in His likeness. .. I have suffered such aridity and abandonment, that there is no way of describing them. But this does not astonish me because I myself asked Christ to deprive me of all consolation, so that other souls that I love may find peace and joy in the sacraments and in prayer.”

On September 1918, she received the news of acceptance to the Carmel Convent in the Andes. From Carmel, in letter written on April 14, 1919, she wrote: “I am the happiest person in the world. I am beginning a life of heaven, of adoration, of praise and continuous love. We have no other desire than to glorify God by fulfilling at every moment His Divine Will. Let’s always live with great joy.”

She entered Carmel on May 7, 1919.

In another letter (No. 39), she wrote, “I abandon myself to God’s will. He knows better than I what is fitting. Letter No. 40: “To offer ourselves to the Father, to fulfill His adorable will. This is the path of holiness as I understand it.

Letter No. 89. She prayed asking for heroic fidelity to the Lord in this way, “Pray, Mother of Sorrows that I will not allow myself to come down from the heights of Calvary, where I must remain at every moment of my crucified life.”  

Holy Week of 1920 was the last week of her exile. Typhus consumed her body. She went to bed on Good Friday never to get up again. On April 7th she received permission to make her religious vows in the presence of the whole community. Therefore, she was able to die as a Discalced Carmelite Nun. Alleluia.

My note: I have gone ahead and write what appears to be too long just on this one Saint for this blog. However, I was told to do so because for this LENT and during Holy Week when I finish this writing and post it, EASTER Sunday is just 4 days away. At this point I want to make clear that God exists, and this young Chilean Saint proved it with her extraordinary growth in intimacy with Jesus in just less than 20 years… Her 20th birthday would have been on July 13, 1920, and she died on April 12. On 2015, her feast day (April 11) coincides with vespers of the Feast of DIVINE MERCY…And her life is a show of God’s mercy and what He can do with anyone of us, if we let Him…

Friday, March13

On this day at 10 AM I was supposed to have my driving test and as part of this long saga to renew my driver’s license. Two years ago, I spent some 45 minutes in the car in line with some 10 or more cars in front of me, as I advanced to the point where the DMV official would get into the car and tell me where to go for the test. As you know, it was a very hectic experience with the lady who supervised me… This time, I studied as much as possible all the possible points that they would be checking on my driving skills, which means that I had to know all the laws and regulations plus how good I change lanes or enter the freeway, looking over my shoulders to the left, and then to the right and then to the left again, to be sure that no cars are in my blind spots, blind spots that have nothing to do with my bad eye. It is for everybody.

I arrived at 9:35 AM and was sent to window No. 17. There, I waited for another client to be done and some 5 minutes later, I encountered the DMV official, about 40 years old lady and with a horrible look in her face. These faces are common in this place and she is not the first one. They look as if they hate what they are doing! I told the lady what I needed and she asked me for my name to check in the computer. I gave her the insurance papers for the car and the car’s registration form. She then asked for the paper from the doctor who reported the state of my eye, paper that I have since January 27. I thought that for thisI had to just do the test for now until they resolved other issues with my present license, like the problem with my picture (details mentioned in my last blog). I told this lady that I had it in the car and that I would come back right away. She said to go and get them but still with a face that was not too consoling for me.  

I walked to the car and under a heavy load of Tramadol intake, which was well planned ahead to be sure I would be with minor pain at the time of the test and preparing to be in line for almost an hour, etc. I knew those papers were in my car because I remember vividly how I placed them in the glove compartment since with them I had the temporary license till March 27. I looked and looked and they were not there…  I ALMOST PASSED OUT… I had been driving with a driver’s license, which was overdue and without a driver’s permit and who knows since when. Worse, without the doctor’s paper I could not take the driving test that day. I asked the Lord if He was allowing this situation just to ask me for some deal… I remember vividly that any time that my cross is heavy and brutally dangerous like in this case added to the fact of dealing with people that lacked kindness, I had to offer it up in atonement for the sins of the Catholic Church and for the sanctification of her members. I stopped my looking among all the papers and did my offering with all my heart and besides, I said yes for His will for that moment…

I walked back to the place with my mind and soul and entire life as if standing at the edge of a cliff. As I arrived, the lady was gone. Another woman in the next window, late 40’s, was finishing with someone else and I stood there to ask if I had to wait for long for the previous lady to come back. She said, "Come here and I will help you." The first lady had given the report to her!!! Janet was nice and patient and as I explained that my papers were not in my car as I thought, and obviously expressing my concern and regret because I had been driving without a driving permit, she said that I needed another appointment and said that the first open date would be April 25 and she had 3 different times in the morning. I said that any time would be O.K but asked what to do with my temporary driver’s permit that would expire on March 27. I was already super worried that she would answer the same than the previous lady back in February who said that I could not drive at all until they fixed the problem with my photo!!!!  

She said that she would take care of everything and she did!!! . I got a new driving permit that ends on April 25, the day of the test at 9:45 AM. I thanked her very much for being so nice and easy going and without condemning me for driving without a permit. Of course, she does not know that I am a perfectionist for this kind of matters and I was thinking of Mr. Devil getting his nose into the whole thing. I said, "I would not even mind to write to this office on your behalf regarding how nice you have been with me." Instantly, she grabbed a card and said, "You can use this car and mail it or bring it back." While she did her thing of getting my new permit, etc., I filled out the card and had it ready before I left. She was smiling. But still, I had no idea of what was going on up to that point.

Many people were praying for me since in my last blog I even asked for prayer. So, what happened? What was God saying with all of this? Was it because the official that had the 10 AM space would be the same of two years ago, or may be, someone else much more difficult? Was it because God wanted me to encounter this cross in the midst of this little hellish place to test me and see if I am truly doing what He asked me? Yet, why did He allow me to drive without a license…? Ouch… Can you imagine if I had a minor accident and I was asked for my license and do not find the permit in the glove compartment? Ouch and ouch and ouch!!!

I left the place at 10:10 AM and totally at awe… I had seen God acting by changing the lady I dealt with… This was a miracle! In the other hand, I had no idea where those papers with the report from the ophthalmologist were! I found them in my room!!! How did they get there when I remember the moment I placed them in the glove compartment? Is Satan that real, and if so, why is he doing it? I only could surmise that something BIG and GOOD is coming for my spiritual life and he knows something is coming (of course, he does not know everything but suspect’s things to come). I will continue with this cross until April 25… At least, I found Janet and this proves that God was all over my case… plus now I have a friend in there.

It was on this date that I received the invitation from the Carmelite Nuns from the Covent of the Holy Spirit in Auco of the Andes, Chile. It reminded me of St. Teresa again and this consoled my heart.

 

During the Rosary, my Mother under the title of Our Lady of Good Health, from Vailankanni, India, said, “Think first of the health of your soul! Your best health is when you trust 100% in God’s love and mercy for you, that is, when God’s mercy reigns in your spiritual life with all the graces necessary for you to become a sanctified disciple so that you become equipped to evangelize others. In the process, God will give you and your doctors what will help you the best and perhaps, to be totally healed of your health problems but always aimed at helping you to do good to others. And any fear for the driving test should cease immediately. The more you fear it, that much you do not trust in His mercy. That is the health you need, spiritual health!”

March 14, 2015

On this date in 1993 in Rome, St. John Paul II canonized St. Teresa of the Andes. He traveled to Santiago, Chile to make her Blessed in 1987.

After keeping my practice of reading several times a day, the little plasticized card of which I spoke last month, one where I present myself to God wanting to do His will and truly trying it to do so out of love for Him and my neighbor, I have noticed that I refrain myself much easier from judging others, at least much less than before. When I put someone down in my thoughts for obvious faults seen, I easily find reasons to love them. I have learned that when I find a fault, I should immediately look for something good in the person(s), and sure enough, my feelings change.

Monday, March 16

 

On this day I had to go and have my blood drawn as ordered by my primary physician, one week before my appointment with her. The results showed that my kidneys and liver are perfectly normal in function and that I am not a diabetic or pre-diabetic. Again, this is part of the concept of real age, even for my kidneys and liver.  After I visited her one week later, she was very kind and asked the laboratory to send me a copy. It was nice to see it with my own eyes and thank God for it.

On this day I also started reflecting on the formation of our conscience, one that will carry us to be merciful.

 

My Mother added, “Every morning, as you open your eyes, make a decision of loving everyone who crosses your path; also, ask for God’s mercy to keep this resolution everyday of your life. At any time that a stone impedes this practice, like a resentment, fear, indifference towards others, etc, immediately repent and again call for God’s mercy to light your path with His graces to change the lack of love and dress yourself with merciful feelings! Eventually, this practice will become a beacon of grace for others as well, and you will advance in your vocation as a missionary evangelizer.

 

“No human being deserves condemnation of any kind even if they merit it by their actions. All human beings deserve mercy as Jesus did with you. It is a matter of obedience to God’s commandments and this point needs no discernment on your part as to IF you want to do it. It is a matter of always practicing love for God and neighbor. “

 

Tuesday, March 17.

 

During the Rosary that I was praying with EWTN, my Mother again came through and said (I wrote it as soon as the Rosary was over), “Regarding God’s mercy, ask for it. Start believing in the power of this gift of God for humanity. In your case, everything will be solved but it all depends on your faith. Remember that Jesus could not operate any miracles because He did not find faith in a particular town! The same is with you. Therefore, you should offer much prayer of thanksgiving but never to convince God to answer with what you want but thanking Him for what He has decided to do in your life, with total trust that it will be the best answer to what you need (not what you want) for your spiritual health. This kind of faith is the one that allows miracles on God’s part because of His great mercy!”

It was at this moment that I realized that we talk about God’s mercy like parrots. We repeat what has been said but never enter a serious acceptance that His power in our lives is the product of His love, which is revealed in merciful acts for us. In other words, He loves us and makes that love demonstrable through many merciful blessings on His part. Therefore, when I ask for His mercy, I have to enter the truth that I am asking for His love to be revealed in my life through His will for me, and therefore, I must refuse to want to do what I judge is best, and instead, to submit to His will with great enthusiasm since His mercy will be shown in many ways for His glory and for my good and that of others.

Wednesday, March 18

On this date I had an intra-ocular injection by my retinologist. This time I asked for the use of the least amount of Iodide at the site of the injection because I was sure that I react aggressively against this mineral. My retinologist, a wonderful holy man, did as I asked and the injection hardly hurt and did not give me pain for hours after. What a difference and what a merciful heart my doctor had!

But when I came out, as I walked to cross a little street to enter a large parking structure, a young man (30’s) was much ahead of me, some 50 yards away (think of a football field…). When he opened the iron door to enter this structure, he looked back and saw me coming but far away and walking like a turtle using a cane! Well, he stood there holding this door opened, good 2-3 minutes until I arrived. I could not believe it! This was one more time that God moved people to treat me as a queen. I thanked him profusely and told him that without needing to bug him, I was a very religious person and that I pray daily for many people even if someone did not believe in God at all. I did not mention the community Rosary per se because he may have not even understood me.

I asked for his first name to write it down when at home in my lost of intentions. He smiled from ear to ear. By now he was already holding opened the elevator door as someone stepped out of it, but I told him that I did not need it since my car was nearby in the street level. He also did not need it and just simply wanted to help me in that way. He told me that his first name was Zach and yes that he believed in God…!!! I was amazed again… I had another appointment and this time, I had asked for permission from the doctor’s secretaries to use a side door instead of getting out through the front door of his office. This change was necessary for me to get to the parking structure quicker and it was the first time that it occurred to me. Sure enough, I had an appointment with Zach and the Holy Spirit was guiding me… Amazing grace, how sweet the sound! Once more, these are little gifts from the Lord trying to make me truly believe that He is omnipresent, He is everywhere… again like EWTN. Therefore, doing His will no matter what is the most intelligent thing I can do…

Thursday, March 19.

With much knee pain, and drunk with drugs for pain and I hate to drive with this feeling, I attended Mass. But of course, I was born in the city of San Jose. In Spanish I would say, “Yo soy josefina.” If in the old times people were recognized by the place of origin, my name at the end should read, “Maria Antonieta from San Jose.” It was also San Jose, the Saint that answered my prayer when at age 9 (in third grade with the Nuns of the Sacred Heart) I lost a Schaffer pen… My grandma had bought it for me even that it was a super expensive American pen for our budget. I lost it within 24 hours of receiving it. I made a deal with him and promised him to say in thanksgiving a daily Our Father forever … Ah, the mind of children! Almost instantaneously, he said to look below my bed. Sure enough, the pen was there. My grandma died without knowing about it. A few months later I stopped saying the promised Our Father … I still feel remorse for having broken our deal!

 

I have a cell phone and not an I-phone because I do not call people at all. Verizon gives me 450 free minutes per month, and I never use more, and on average, I probably use half of this amount. Well, this morning after Mass, I received a call and a message from Walgreens Pharmacy that the medication for my blood pressure, Lisinopril  which had one refill for the next three months could not be filled out because the insurance company (United Healthcare used by AARP) that covers over what Medicare does not pay (20%), would not pay for it. Three months before, they would not pay for 3 tablets per day. At that time, my primary physician had to fax a paper they supplied to me via regular mail authorizing the third pill…! Now, they would not give me a refill for three months…

Here we go again. I had the desire to scream with huge resentment for the stupidity they were doing, and mostly for their injustice… When I suddenly lost 40 pounds after my hospitalizations of 2013, I used only one pill of 10 mg. twice a day!!!! Of course, my toxicity was gone after losing almost my entire blood volume… As time passed by and I reside in an area full of toxic’s (next to a 6 lane busy expressway and 2 miles from a oil refinery whose employees went in strike just 2 months ago, NOT FOR MORE MONEY, but for the refinery to make it safer due to poor maintenance and upkeep, my toxicity levels went up and there I have problems of health (more on it shortly). Therefore, they probably think that I want to get more tablets because I sell them on the side. After all, I am an old woman chronologically speaking, Hispanic and most likely a thief… My name does not reflect that I am an MD…

On this day, I had to go PERSONALLY with the help of a cane to find out why? I found a beautiful girl at Walgreen’s and she said that they would only accept to pay the prescription for 30 days at a time, and if I wanted just a month, she could fill it out. We did that, although I had tons of this drug with me because the imbalance of my autonomic system is so brutal that my blood pressures vary daily. I take it three times a day in order to treat it… Yes, at times, there are days that I need 3 pills a day. Sometimes two and some days I may not take anything…!!!! But when Walgreens had sent an e-mail telling me that I was due for refilling, I did it to avoid misunderstandings that I was not taking the medication as indicated.

I came home KNOWING QUITE WELL that Mr. Satan was involved in this… My normal reaction was to hate them and to resent them a lot… Well, this would stop my relationship with Jesus who would never had done that. In fact, there are days that I should use the famous phrase, “What would Jesus do?”  And the answer is that through His mercy, He loves them dearly and no matter what… Therefore, I must do so as well. So, I had to start praying for myself to feel love for them and end my resentment, and then add them to my community Rosary, but once I love them somewhat… God’s mercy would answer me right away… but I had to be aware of Satan’s ways to obstruct my relationship with God.

Friday, March 20

 

I heard on this day a priest say that they have to preach from the pulpit like a lion but be a lamb at the confessional. I suddenly wrote in my diary that besides that, all priests must live like Christ the rest of the time, that is, passionately doing the Father’s will, loving their parishioners just as a mother loves her baby, changing them when soiled at the confessional, feeding them with the Eucharist and with  God’s Word but witnessed in their own lives as well!

On this day I had to visit the ophthalmologist who lives far away in the city of San Leandro, mentioned in my last blog. My son had to go with me because this doctor would use a special machine that would measure the degree of intra ocular pressure to define the degree of glaucoma I had, and at times, they need to dilate the pupils. With dilated pupils for 6 hours, I could not drive back at huge velocities using three different expressways. If you miss the connection with one of the free-ways, one has to get out and try to re-route. It happened to us in our way back and my son had problems trying to find a way to enter the highway again… I felt happy that it happened to him, so that at least it is not my age that makes it difficult. 

Saturday, March 21

 

I was making spaghetti sauce which I cook for my son with organic turkey (to avoid red meat) and at one point I thought I could not continue. Once in a while I feel a sense of death overcoming me. I figured out that at times, my blood pressure while standing goes down too low and I get such feeling. Thank God that my son came rather early (he goes to work on Saturdays without having to but to advance in areas that need quietness and much attention, and it is hard during the week with many others around) . He arrived exactly while I was sitting ready to quit the cooking of the sauce. This way, he did it and I taught him how I do it, something that will stay with him forever once I am gone. His favorite dish is precisely this flavor of spaghetti sauce with pasta. I cook a lot of each dish and place them in separate containers in the freezer. In the case of this sauce, I cook 7 pounds of turkey with an organic commercial sauce that he likes the best. The result is simply delicious, although I cannot eat it because of my allergies. I ended up with 12 separate containers and I even weigh the sauce per container to give him exactly the amount he wants. Well, even for this little item, God brought him early and EXACTLY to take over my task and to learn how to make it… Amazing God! He loves us soo much! This son is a holy man who I am sure is super blessed by the Lord.

 

Sunday, March 22

I could not even go to Mass on this Sunday. My body was devastated by pain and swings in blood pressure (due to autonomic nervous system imbalance). Once again, God came through and showed me a great truth for my health. I realized that toxicity is behind all my health problems. As mentioned before, I live in the midst of a very toxic environment, and for me, without being able to make enough glutathione by my liver to detoxify myself naturally, of course, my health took a turn for the worse since I came to live here, almost 7 years ago. I made a list to present it to my primary physician the day after. This toxicity has made my immune system super active; it has produced imbalance in my autonomic nervous system called so because it regulates our blood pressures. When we get up, it closes our arteries so that our blood pressure does not suddenly drop. If we sit down, the arteries relax. It also balances our pulse and this is why is called autonomic nervous system.

 

Well, suddenly it also came to me that in our Church there is also toxicity, which consists in 1) our lack of trust on God’s love and mercy; actually not recognizing the power of His mercy. 2) Not recognizing God’s love and the actions He takes to demonstrate this love and that we know as His mercy, from forgiving all our sins to leading us to eternal salvation through the action of His Holy Spirit. 3) Our lack of decisiveness to comply with His will with a hug YES…4) Our attachments to wanting to run our spiritual lives and NOT living a truly Pentecostal life and many others. 

The consequences of this toxicity but looking like fruits of our faith, could be summarized as the following:

1. Watering down the truth of His Word. Relativism is the name..

 

2. Replacing the obedience to God’s will with the creation of MANY ministries which are well meaning and have helped the Church going for years, but that are void of the power of the Holy Spirit. Otherwise, with so many ministries, by now we would have all Catholics back at least on Sundays. Worse, it seems that many are blinded to this truth. In fact, in the commercial world, if money is not produced, practices are changed until there is productivity that makes much income.

3. If these ministries have not allured most Catholics back to the Church, wouldn’t we be looking for what is wrong and seeking ways to bring them back?

4. Wouldn’t we be seeking the Spirit in our converted lives to understand how to pray for this problem? What to do to have the Holy Ghost move them interiorly to come home?

5. Wouldn’t we be finding out why most practicing Catholics do not have a personal relationship with Christ? Having a personal true relationship means that we all would be crazily seeking to do His will! Do we understand this concept?

6. Knowing Him personally should reflect in the way that we live His Presence in the Eucharist. It seems obvious that they believe in the concept that He is present but do not act as if He is truly present.

 

These are all FORMS OF SPIRITUAL TOXICITY! And all of this toxicity is the product of Satan, the world at large and our flesh with immorality, indifference, resentment, fears, preferring power, prestige, position and possessions to being merciful toward our neighbor as our Father in  heaven is merciful.

 

If you read all I transcribed from the life of St. Teresa of the Andes, there you can see that our Church at large is missing much, although we have it all with Jesus being with us everywhere we go. It would take just a few of us to stop Satan and ask for God’s mercy for this generation, whether Catholics or not. Yet, we do not seem to understand what His mercy can do. God did not find even10 good people that would believe in Him in order  to come to the aid of Israel in the Old Testament. And this is precisely part of how we must prepare in these next 8 months, seeking some personal spiritual growth to ENTER THE YEAR OF MERCY believing in His love like never before, and asking for His mercy to change us before the end of the world comes about. More on it later.

 

Monday, March 23

 

I did keep my appointment with my primary physician. I went over my severe case of allergy to Tramadol and Vicodin (addictive narcotic). I was trying to use only Vicodin and had received a prescription from her back in late January. Walgreen’s decided not to fill it out because they were worried about me taking Vicodin and Tramadol together. At the time, I had stopped Tramadol to see if I could just use the real narcotic. It did not work. Yet, the pharmacy made me go and talk to them about how I was mixing both drugs. It amazes me how Satan uses situations like this one to harass me. Well, on this day I told my physician that the Vicodin had hardly being used up because it causes severe diarrhea and pain, mostly from the Tylenol that they add to the narcotic. She then gave me a prescription for more Tramadol, which gives me pain but not diarrhea.

 

Tuesday, March 24

Narcotics cannot be ordered via Internet as the rest of the medicines. It needs to be written in a prescription pad paper and taken to the pharmacy. I did so on this day after 8 AM Mass. Once done, I wondered if I should stop at a Target store which is in route to my home. I asked the Lord and told Him that if it was His will, I would have to find a parking space rather close to the main entrance. We use this sign for Him to tell me if it is the right moment. Remember that I have appointments with people and He is the only Who knows when and where… Sure enough, a car was pulling out of a rather close space from the main entrance.  I needed to buy more Evian water and they have these very heavy 6 pack large bottles at the highest possible level. Every time I have to find someone to bring them down for me. I can reach but with difficulty with my 5 feet 2 inches height and being so heavy with knees that are hurting, well, the best is to wait for a tall employee to pass by or ask a tall customer to help me. And several times I have reported how customers come to me to help me even without I saying a word…

Since I stood there and no one came, I looked for some employee who would be working on another isle placing new products. I found a woman, not taller that I am, about 40 years old, Mexican, working in a nearby area. I asked her to please call someone tall enough to get me the Evian, especially those packs in the back of the front ones. I knew she could not reach herself. She immediately came with a special stool to raise her up and started passing me the Evian packs. She asked how many I wanted? I said, “As many as you find there in the back.” She looked at me as if saying, “What are you going to do with so many bottles (they are expensive).” I told her the reason behind and noticed that by her heavy accent, she surely was Hispanic. I then switched languages and explained how fluoride was the culprit in my memory loss which I had reversed.

Suddenly, she opened her eyes wide and said, “Thank you for this information. I have the same problem. I forget everything. I have to write everything down not to forget it! I immediately recognized God’s tender mercy over this beautiful image of His. Yeees, I had a customer for this morning. I saw her name, Larissa and asked her for the last name in order to write in Spanish the entire story of how I detoxified to reverse my memory loss and leave it for her in the main desk of the store. She was soo happy. I still have to do it but she knew that it would take me more than a week to translate my story, since this blog was pending. Only God’s love for Larissa could have orchestrated this encounter with her. I had to be there precisely when she was there (she only works Monday to Wednesday) and working nearby the Evian packs.

I came home, had breakfast and at 11:30 AM my Mother spoke, “The entire world is at the border of destruction. The Church shows some need to change in some aspects. Catholics are waking up but this Year of Mercy will be a blessing! The mercy of God is once more coming to rescue all of you. Yes, the mercy of God is the answer for the end times. Yes, asking for God’s mercy for an entire year will be like a magic spiritual protection to cure the Church inside and for her to evangelize the world like never before. Yet, start offering your sacrifices for the Church to propose to everybody that they should enter it trusting that it will be so! People must ask for God’s mercy but with the total certainty that He will fix this chaos and toxicity around at all levels. Faith on this truth should be overwhelming. Otherwise, asking for His mercy for an entire year without believing that He can heal hearts and change souls to enter an ongoing conversion, is like an insult to Him! You should prepare in the next 8 months to receive His Divine intervention so that in the year of Mercy you all may receive help to deal with these times. Ask Him to see the immensity of His Mercy.”

I looked for St. Faustina’s diary and read what He said to her regarding the end times, as follows,

1732. “As I was praying for Poland, I heard the words:I bear a special love for Poland,  and if she will be obedient to My will, I will exalt her in might and holiness. From her will come forth the spark that will prepare the world for My final coming.

Wow! It said it all. He produced two people who lived contemporary lives. St. JP II was born in 1920. St. Faustina died in 1938! Both came from Poland and gave us the gift of understanding His Mercy. Both became Saints. And God said it clearly: if she will be obedient to My will… Aha! We must obey His will… and God will pour His powerful Mercy to the entire world! In their cases, they were very holy people. In our case, the Church must form us in holiness (people dedicated to do His will) in order to spark a fire of Pentecost under His Mercy to change hearts and makes us witness His power and love and that is it. The real ministry for every parish at this point of chaos is to make Saints who can ask for God’s Divine Mercy, especially in this upcoming Jubilee and we can evangelize as if by magic. 

3 PM: I wrote in my journal what I understood as follows:

We need power from the Holy Spirit, but this requires to quiet down, deny ourselves and follow Jesus by doing what He did on earth, which is, becoming mercy for others as part of the witness of our lives. Pentecost is not a specific feast in the Church. Pentecost is living under the Holy Spirit and for this to happen, we need to ask for His Mercy to take us by the hand and become truly Catholic Pentecostals. Talking about the pros and cons, do’s and don’ts of how to do it gains little. We only need to do God’s will 24/7, which represents a clear expression of our trust in His love for us. This type of trust will open the ocean of His mercy with graces from the Holy Spirit, which in turn makes us true Pentecostals, and the rest is up to God to direct us to live holy lives that attract others to do the same. Evangelization is then a fact. Satan and the world will be stopped through supernatural means and God will reign in many hearts who in turn pray for God’s mercy during this upcoming Extraordinary Jubilee. In the next 8 months we should focus in our own examination of conscience: what are we lacking? Are we praying enough? Are we saying daily Rosaries to win this battle in our own souls to be ready for this upcoming Year of Mercy? Where is God in our lives? Do we really have a personal relationship with Christ and keep an eye to do His will all day long, every day of our lives, as any relationship should be, one of mutual love? How many times a day we call the Spirit to guide us?

Another satanic harassment: on this day, I opened a letter from this group of retired persons or AARP, through which I am subscribed to United Healthcare Insurance Co. In it, the pharmacist in charge of AARP affairs reaffirmed the position that United Healthcare cannot fill out my requests for my blood pressure medication as I want them. ONCE AGAIN, Satan is super upset and trying very hard to find ways to make me upset and resentful… Well, I know his schemes and therefore, immediately I asked the Lord for patience and love for groups, AARP and the health insurance. I had not place AARP in my intentions for my community daily Rosary. I added it… They slap you on one cheek and you put the other for them to do the same. They need a huge letter explaining to them that I am doctor myself and with ailments that are making my blood pressure change constantly and therefore, that the changes in the dosage of this drug is not because I want to get more and sell it on the side, but due to my problems. Ah… but this will be done much after this blog is posted… No, I will not fall for it and take my sweet time to write for hours putting this blog together, since I have to stop often to let my eyes rest!!! Then, I will deal with these companies! If I were a man, American by birth, with German ancestry and not Hispanic, and also a professional (I am but they do not know it), nothing of this would have happened…!!! BUT MY PRIORITY IS THE BLOG FOLLOWED BY MUCH PRAYER TO WRITE A LETTER DICTATED BY THE HOLY HOST, WHILE I PRAY FOR THEIR SALVATION!!!

Wednesday, March 25.

In this wonderful feast of the Annunciation, as I approached in line to receive the Eucharist around 8:20 AM, I said to myself interiorly, “I must sacrifice and suffer much for this Church.” I heard, “No, what you need is to proclaim the Truth but live it as well in order to be a witness to others. This is a major sacrifice as well.”

10:25 AM: while driving back from the organic health food store, I said inwardly, “How can I thank You enough for all You do for me? I heard, “Live My Word. Do what I tell you and never, ever, doubt or fear My will for you.”

Thursday, March 26.

In the EWTN Mass, I heard Fr. Joseph Altona of the Order of the Fathers of Mercy give a homily on the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. It was excellent.

Saturday, March 28.

I attended a Penance Service in my Parish. I planned my intake of Tramadol to suit the timing, since when I take it, I suffer from the reaction against the drug but in about 1.5 hours, Tramadol itself takes care of the pain it causes plus other sources of pain!!! However, I was delayed in leaving since I wanted to reach my parish with plenty of time to pray my Rosaries and early enough to find suitable parking.

Because I was delayed, at the last minute I decided to take the expressway which helps to shorten the 10 minutes of driving. I arrived at 2:50 PM for a 3:30 PM Penance Service and 5 PM Mass, and found a man walking in front of the church and he smiled.  I went in and went to the bathroom to comb my hair and after I entered, a lady in her forties came in wearing just shorts and sweating. I said, “Ah, were you running?” She said, “No, I was just walking but it is so hot outside.” She added, “I stop here often but just to put some holy water on my forehead. I do not attend any services.” I answered, “Well, that is better than nothing.” She continued to tell me that she had four kids and has lived with a man for the last four years.” I said nothing but wondered what was going on. Why had we met there?

Out of the blue, I proceeded to share with her that I would come to this church daily as possible due to my aching knees but that I do it because I am in love with Jesus, truly Present in the Host. I gave her a quick story of my encounter with Him at age 6.5 years old. She started to hug me and kiss me in the cheek as if this story had moved her. Then she added that she was a Christian, not Catholic but that the man with whom she lives is Catholic. I asked her for her first name to pray for her. She said that it was Dora. Another woman came in and said, “Who is Dora?” Of course, she said she was and this lady said, “A man is waiting for you outside.” She told me that her lover was outside waiting, took my hand and led me out to meet him!!!!! I had no say in the matter!!! I asked her for his name just to pray for both of them. It was Kevin.

When we reached the front of the church, she explained to Kevin who I was and he kissed my hand. I proceeded to tell him the story about the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist as a child and since he was the Catholic one… He kissed my hand again and gave me a hug. Dora said goodbye with another hug and kisses on my cheek.. Kevin said, “You are so passionate about it. I like that.” I realized right then that I had customers waiting and I took the freeway just to keep my appointment to “seed” this couple with hope and His mercy plus to place them in my community Rosary intentions.  

I proceeded to enter the church and sit by the confessional where my confessor uses. Another man, in his 30’s, came in and stood at the door of this confessional. I told him that I was in line but that this was a Penance Service and therefore, that we had first to sit down until after the small liturgy done prior to the hearing of confessions. He moved and sat next to me and then started sharing how he was raised Catholic but had left the Church as a teen. Much later he returned and this time to stay!!! He said, “Nobody will get me out of the Catholic Church. Nobody.” 

I started to realize that this was another customer that I had to meet. I told him very quickly about my experience with the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. He loved it. I asked for his name to pray for him. It was Chris. He had no idea about Penance Services but I gave him a quick explanation. God’s mercy had showered Dora and Kevin and had given Chris another reason to never leave the Church.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

I spent most of last night finishing the blog and right now, 9 AM PT, I came to my computer to start the editing of the blog and send it today, God willing. I found an email no less and no more than from the Carmelites Nuns from the Andes!!! Here it is in Spanish and I will translate it into English. It is amazing what God does. In my original email telling them that this past Saturday I was with them in spirit …during the celebration of the 500th anniversary of the birth of St Teresa de Avila, I mentioned that I had recently watched the 5 episodes on the life of St. Teresa of the Andes. I also told them about the central topic of this blog: our preparation for the upcoming Jubilee Year and why. They answered the following:

Original in Spanish:

Muy querida Maria Antonieta: Miles de gracias por su hermoso correo de felicitaciones, y cuente con nuestras oraciones por todas sus intenciones. Que Teresa de Los Andes siga siendo su fiel compañera y si sabemos que intercederá por usted y la tiene de su mano.

Con gran cariño y muy unidas en esta semana santa y pascua.,

Sus hermanas carmelitas de Auco- CHILE

 

Carmelitas Descalzas                        
Monasterio del Espíritu Santo   
Los Andes – Chile

Translation:

Most dear Maria Antonieta:  a thousand thanks for your beautiful email with your congratulations, and count with our prayers for all of your intentions. That Teresa of the Andes continue being your faithful companion and yes, we know that she will intercede for you and that she is holding you by the hand.

With great affection and very close to you during this Holy Week and Easter, your Carmelite Sisters from Auco – Chile

Discalced Carmelites

Monastery of the Holy Spirit

Los Andes, Chile

I add: what a small world… where Saints and sinners meet in their journey to our final stop to live with the Holy Trinity for all eternity!

FINAL CONCLUSIONS:

Our times are demanding of us, serious Catholics, to seek our conversion on all the angles where we suffer spiritual poverty due to major spiritual toxicity within us and around us, in order to receive the graces of the Year of Mercy and deal with satanic forces at work. Right now in our own backyard, Indiana has had a horrible reaction from the entire country because of its recent Law on Religious Freedom. It amazes me how everyone reacts but when many Catholic enterprises were forced to pay for a health insurance of their employees that provides pills to prevent pregnancies and in some cases pills that kill the embryos, well, that was just tough luck for us. That they have to pay for something against their religious principles, well, so what!

 

For those who have not read much about this topic above, this is from the Internet: “On Sunday, Indiana Governor Mike Pence defended the law and said he would not push for a nondiscrimination bill to counteract its possible impact, but he said he was open to the General Assembly adding a section that clarifies the law.Similar religious freedom bills have stalled in Georgia and North Carolina. Indiana’s law, signed last week by Governor, was perceived as going further than those passed in 19 other states, giving businesses a right to refuse services on religious grounds.”

 

Please remember how Satan came in after the Vatican II Concilium ended in 1965 (?). We did nothing. Satan did it all and confused everybody, including how we interpreted this document. He has done it over and over through the centuries. For example, 2.5 million people died because of religious persecution of some sort since Jesus’ Ascension up to the XIX Century. In the XX C, 305 million died in 65 years!!!! This was discussed in a recent program of EWTN LIVE. In the next 8 months and for sure, Satan will work overtime against the Church to avoid any real spiritual preparation to ask for God’s mercy for our world during the Jubilee. Let us examine the past and do something about it. This is our big chance to help the entire world.

The best gift we can give the Church is to further our ongoing conversion in preparation for December 8, 2015.  For a true conversion, WE MUST DECIDE TO DO GOD’S WILL with great devotion, solicitude, ambition and love for God and for our neighbor calling Our Lady to pray for us for this intention. In the mean time, we must do a few things to aid this resolution, in order to seek God’s mercy to help us to be the best servants possible and following Our Lady’s example.

Personally this is what I will do:

1. First and foremost, I WILL TRY VERY HARD TO DO GOD’S WILL AND NO MATTER WHAT, so that I benefit from this powerful exercise to obtain further conversions of my soul. Remember what Fr. Robert Barron said, talking about the saints who followed Jesus with a “reckless abandonment.” Obviously, I will pray for this gift, which requires a reckless conversion on my part! Huh! Yet, I must examine my conscience on a daily basis to see how am I keeping up this resolution!

2. Every weekend, I will review my resolutions for 2015 in order to try to remind myself what I must do and this way, being able to keep these resolutions more often than not…. I had shared the list in my December 2014’s blog, but in the next first 3 days of April I will place it in the right side of this blog in the section of “pages” under the title of “2015 Resolutions,” in case you want to use it to make your own list.

3. Daily I will ask for God’s mercy praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy to help me prepare for this Jubilee Year.

4. Daily, I will offer all the suffering coming from my health problems united to Jesus’ Passion (as the Chaplet states it) in reparation for my own sins.

5. I will do all of this to give glory to God and to intercede for my brothers and sisters who may not realize the task at hand before the Jubilee Year.

6. I will ask my Mother under the title of Guadalupe to walk with me and counsel me as needed.

7. I will ask St. Teresa of the Andes to intercede for me for the next 8 months so that I can truly do a good job.

 May you have a wonderful blessed Holy Triduum and Easter celebration, plus a glorious Feast of Divine Mercy, preceded by the feast day of St. Teresa of the Andes on April 11!

As my gift for your physical well being, I will share with you some recent science I just received regarding our bodies. You may like to know it so that you remember to eat well, hopefully with the least amount of toxicity in what you eat.

 

P.S. 1. Please pray for me on April 25, the day of my driving test at 9:45 AM PT

I need to drive by myself to San Leandro (through 3 different freeways) to receive treatments for my eyes early glaucoma on April 8 and April 22, both at 9:30 AM PT. Pray for me on those days. At the rate that Satan is after me, I need of your prayer more than ever. Thank you very much.

2. Please pardon me for possibly many spelling mistakes to be found in this blog since I have worked for hours and my eyes are a little tired! I do not want to edit it any longer…

3. Below: a piece of scientific knowledge

How old are the cells in your body and which can and can’t be renewed?

2015 Health Realizations

You may just celebrated your 30th, 50th or 75th birthday, but the cells that make up your body are actually much younger than that. If you go by the numbers, your cells are, on average, around 10 years old, or less. In fact, most of your body’s cells are constantly being replaced, although its DNA stays the same from the moment the cell is first create (by its parent cells division).

Because of this, Jonas Frisen, a stem cells biologist at the Karonlisnka Institute in Stockholm, was able to develop a method to determine just how old our cells really are. What influences the rate of your cells’ regeneration? It depends on the cell’s function in your body and at least partly on how hard it must work. Your epidermis (skin), for instance, gets renewed every 14 days because it’s constantly being assaulted by outside elements.

Cells from your rib muscles last an average of 15.1 years

Cells in the main body of your gut are about 15.9 years old. The cells lining your stomach, meanwhile, are known to last just five days.

Your red blood cells last about 120 days on average

Your liver regenerates completely every 300 to 500 days.

Your entire skeleton is replaced about once every 10 years.

Does your brain regenerate?

In the past it was believed that our brain cells did not regenerate. And Dr. Frisen did find in his study that cells from the visual cortex areas of the brain did not appear to renew. However, brain cell regeneration, or neurogenesis in humans was discovered in 1998 by Fred Gage of the Salk Institute in La Jolla, CA and his colleagues. They found out that new cells are created in the hippocampus, a brain region involved in memory.

The cells in your body that are thought to stay with you for a lifetime (and do not regenerate) are, in fact, quite limited and include, 1) the neurons of your cerebral cortex, 2) the cells of your eye’s inner lens and 3) possibly the muscle cells of your heart.

Why don’t your cells keep regenerating indefinitely?

Because the cell’s parent DNA is transported to the new cells. Over time, mutations in your DNA may develop, and those mutations get passed on.

What can you do to keep your body’s cells in top condition for as long as possible?

1) Exercise is one of the best ways for adults to grow new brain cells. 2) Eat a healthy diet without a lot of simple sugars. 3) Relax and find ways to relieve stress. Stress is so deleterious to the brain that relieving stress should be a top priority. 4) AVOID environmental toxins as much as possible,

Sources: Cell, Volume 122, 133-143. 2015

 


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