Archive for February, 2015

1. What I have learned so far in this Lent 2. A prayer card that I use every day

February 28, 2015

 This month turned out to be very interesting. Satan was around and I had to be patient because God was allowing it in order for me to become skilled at not paying attention to what he does and believe that I am under the protection of His mercy and it should be sufficient.


Under the many things that I found difficult to do for different aspects of my health, I grew by leaps and bounds regarding the aspect of learning to be merciful. Of course, I still have much to grow in this aspect. It is apparent that this theme has been the highlight so far for this Lent. And on February 24, I had a wonderful understanding of many spiritual topics necessary for my becoming a merciful daughter of God. Here are the different stories according to the calendar.


Monday, February 2


I received a call from the ophthalmologist office that my BRAND NEW glasses were ready. Huh! It was a miracle since they were not supposed to be done until around February 15 or so and I had made my next appointment with this doctor for some other checkup he wanted to do on February 20, precisely to be able to pick up the glasses at the same time. This office as written before is about 45 minutes from my house via several freeways if the traffic is perfect… and I needed my son to take me, especially because my pupils are usually dilated at the doctor’s office and driving back could be next to impossible with my left eye’s vision being so impaired!


After receiving the phone call, I suddenly had this certainty that I could make a trip by myself to pick the glasses up since there would not be any pupil dilatation. However, there would be some fog in the next days until Thursday, February 5. It was very important to find out if these glasses were O.K. because I need them for my Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) tests to renew my driver’s license, and I was concerned since two previous set of glasses by two different optometrists had not worked. As you may remember, I reported that one pair would help me read and the other was good for long distance viewing, although both were supposed to do both things.


Thursdays, February 5.


I went to 8 AM Mass and asked Jesus after Communion, “Is it alright for me to drive by myself to pick up my glasses? He said, “If you feel up to it regarding your health status on this day, I will take you there.” And He did! I had a small breakfast and I went and came back without any problem and never got lost with the change of expressways, nor did I encounter any traffic problems. After I came back, I asked my Mother, “How can I thank Jesus for this trip to San Leandro that not only helped my son not to take another morning off, but that it was rather easy for me?” My Mother said, “The best way to thank Him is to always keep trusting blindly in His love and mercy for you, by acting accordingly.”  


How much good her words did to my heart! Sure enough, as I wrote last month, I forget often to truly rely on His mercy for those things that are difficult to do, like trying to get an appointment at the DMV in order to take a driving test, especially with the bad memories I had from two years ago with this department. I clearly identified my need to grow in feeling how much God loves me and act accordingly as she suggested. Again and again, He wanted His Divine Mercy image to show at the bottom the phrase, “Jesus, I trust in You.” What a hint! One of the most important aspects of our conversion is growing in this certainty that He is absolutely crazy about each one of us… In John 3:16, a very famous quote from the Bible, it reads, “For God so loved the world that He gave (as a gift in the Incarnation and Crucifixion) His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him might not perish but might have eternal life.” I then thought, “Without belief and trust (faith without fear) in Him but lived at all times, my relationship with Jesus is in peril. Yet, what is worse is that I do not take it seriously enough to look for ways to correct my behavior of worrying for anything I want or need!”


Saturday, February 7.


EWTN aired a program from a Conference in Steubenville, OH from September of 2014, and the speaker was Franciscan Fr. Andrew Apostoli. He spoke about some interesting points regarding God’s mercy. I took some notes and this is what I wrote, hoping that I did get his teaching correctly:


There are two types of God’s mercy: 1) One that is God’s love for a person in need and this could also be called “compassion.”  2) God’s love for a person who does not deserve it.


When Jesus was asked by a scholar of the law what was the most important commandments (and they had 613 precepts in their Law), He answered that they were the loving of God and of neighbor as we love ourselves.


Fr. Apostoli spoke of St. Francis de Sales and quoted him by saying that “by the love for others we will be known as His disciples.” St. James asked that what good is to have faith but without works, and one example is to have faith in God but without serving others… The speaker also mentioned that 1) Jesus is hungry to love us; that He thirsts to do so and to save the entire world. 2) At Fatima, Our Lady asked the children to fast and sacrifice for sinners, and that this satisfies Jesus’ thirst. 3) He added that we have to build a civilization of truth that can change the violence in our world, and by the works of mercy, by being merciful, we can put love in the world. 4) And then, in the process, we become transformed.


This presentation reminded me how His mercy has come to visit us especially through apparitions of His Mother, with the one in Fatima being very prophetic.


At 4 PM, this same day, I was led to go to page 888 of my Bible. Here the Lord connected His mercy with TRUST…


Jeremiah 3 – Verse 1. In the tenth month of the ninth year of Zedekiah, King of Judah, Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, and all his army marched against Jerusalem and besieged it. 11. Concerning Jeremiah, Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, gave the following orders… 12. “Take him and look after him; let no harm befall him but treat him as he himself requests.” 15. While Jeremiah was still imprisoned in the quarters of the guard, the word of the Lord came to him, 16. “Go, tell this to Ebed-Malech, the Cushite. ‘This says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: Behold, I am now fulfilling the words I spoke against this city, for evil and not for good; and this before your eyes. 17. But on that day I will rescue you, says the Lord; YOU SHALL NOT BE HANDED OVER TO THE MEN of whom you are afraid. 18. I will make certain that you escape and do not fall by the sword. Your life will be spared as booty; because you TRUSTED IN ME, says the Lord!’ End of quote)


Then I heard these words: “In your case, work for showing total trust in God’s will for you.” I realized that I had a great example of how the prophet Jeremiah was taken great care of by his captors, and how  the Lord helped the Cushite to escape… This is an example of God’s mercy at its best! Why shouldn’t I expect the same? If my allergies cause so much distress and God allows them, there is no doubt that that He has a plan and in the case of Jeremiah, a great prophet, he had to remain with his captors although treated very well. It gives the hint that Jeremiah trusted in God 100%. The Cushite was a simple man and he, through trusting in God, was allowed to escape. Different plans for different people, but it is clearly an example that whatever we go through is perfect and necessary for our salvation and that of many others.


Later that evening, I saw a short story of St Alberto Hurtado Cruchaga, S.J. I keep his picture in my room and have known about him for several years. I love his saying, “Contento, Señor, contento,” or “Happy, Lord, happy.” Somewhere in these blogs I wrote about this great saint who truly gave me much help when I was stranded in Toledo before the Lord allowed me to come to California. So, I am going to give a short story of his life as an example of how he was so merciful to his fellow men.

ALBERTO HURTADO CRUCHAGA was born in Viña del Mar, Chile, on January 22, 1901; he was orphaned when he was four years old by the death of his father. His mother had to sell, at a loss, their modest property in order to pay the family’s debts. As a further consequence, Alberto and his brother had to go to live with relatives and were often moved from one family to another. From an early age, therefore, he experienced what it meant to be poor, to be without a home and at the mercy of others.

He was given a scholarship to the Jesuit College in Santiago. Here he became a member of the Sodality of Our Lady and developed a lively interest in the poor, spending time with them every Sunday afternoon in the most miserable neighborhoods. Later in his life, his apostolate was the expression of a personal love for Christ the Lord; and again, it was characterized by a great love for poor and abandoned children, an enlightened zeal for the formation of the laity, and a lively sense of Christian social justice. Pancreatic cancer took his life while still very young and in the midst of terrible pain, he was often heard to say, “I am content, Lord.”

What was predominant in his life was his capacity to love: a gift lavished upon him by God, which he knew how to develop thus establishing, in the light of the Gospel, an intensely growing personal friendship with the Lord. His ever-increasing familiarity with Him which, in the mind of Saint Ignatius, Father Hurtado acquired by contemplating the mysteries of the life of Jesus Christ, was at the root of the attitudes characteristic of him. Precisely because he was truly in love with Christ, he fixed his gaze on the Lord Jesus and His way of life while He was still on earth. He passed long hours contemplating the manner in which Jesus acted in various situations in which He found Himself. With the eyes of his heart, 1) Father Hurtado specially admired the way by which Jesus paid attention to persons, 2) how He made His the sufferings of those who were in pain. He was fascinated by Jesus, and thus Jesus’ way of thinking and living increasingly became in a way part of St. Alberto being. He conformed himself to Christ and thus was authentically His disciple. His relationship with the Lord, therefore, did not have anything to do with a spiritualist intimacy divorced from reality. It was a real and effective sharing in Jesus’ way of living and dealing with people, seen and loved in the social context in which they were, seen and loved truly and effectively in the measure of their need for authentic human warmth, altruistic love, formation and justice.


He kept this lively personal contact with God because he was convinced that only in living united to Christ could he be an instrument in God’s hands, and receive from Him the light and goodness to spread among the people. In the hours spent in silent adoration before the tabernacle, he allowed the risen Lord to communicate His Spirit to him and transfuse his soul with the living flame of goodness and love, which were the characteristic way by which he, in union with Jesus Christ, approached people. St. Alberto lived a life dedicated to be merciful to his brothers and sisters. He departed very young, but always happy!


Father Hurtado was called to be with the Lord on 18 August 1952 (age 51). He was beatified by John Paul II on October 16, 1994. Father Hurtado’s canonization took  place on

23 October 2005 by Pope Benedict XVI. (End of notes on his bibliography).


Monday, February 9


I belief that I had reported before that my son and I had tried over and over to call the DMV department after we could not get them on the Internet, in order to make an appointment to have a vision and a driving test. This meant that I had to go personally and make a long line and try to get an appointment. Notice how resentment comes to our hearts and being merciful is thrown out! This attitude stops our life of true discipleship.


Tuesday, February 10


I was at the DMV before 8 AM, and the line was not huge. When I went to check with the girl about what to do for people without appointments, I asked why couldn’t we make an appointment via Internet or phone… Her answer: "Well, it happens sometimes." That was a lie since we tried so many times and were on the phone more than one hour at a time… I wondered if Satan was behind this events!

 When it was my time to see one of the employees, she first told me (and after 20 minutes standing at her window) that there was a problem with my picture of my present license and that they had to investigate the case. I had to sit down to wait for the problem to be resolved, as she took care of somebody else. I thought that maybe they had used my picture for somebody’s driver’s license. She could not elaborate. While waiting, I started praying the Rosary!

 Eventually, I was called and told that they could not do the investigation right away. It would take some time and she did not know how long! I asked that if I could get a special permit if it would go after my birthday… She said, "With this problem, you could not even get a temporary license! After your birthday, you cannot drive…” I almost screamed but again, I had to let the mercy of my God fix the problem, and I am sure that this was a fruit of the Rosary. I proceeded to quietly call the Holy Spirit. Suddenly, I found myself saying, "I need to appeal to someone else about this injustice. You make the mistake and now I have to pay for it. After my birth date, I will not be able to go to daily Mass or go shopping for food. I will not even be able to drive for an appointment I have with my retinologist for a treatment for my eye." She then said that she would check with her manager!!!!!!!

 By now I was sure that Satan was into all of this. It did explain my anxiety of the last days about visiting this place since two years ago they also treated me poorly during my driving test. The anxiety was not related to the poor treatment as much as facing the possibility of losing my driver’s license, which God could allow to happen! However, since I have to live the Joy of the Gospel, I said to my Lord within, "Yes, Sir, I am here to do Your will. Have mercy on me a sinner and mercy on all these morons." Immediately I was corrected by God within me… Of course, I cannot call them morons… So, I repented and said, "Have mercy on these Your images who are a little confused by Satan." I had to go and sit down until she would take my case to her manager.

 Finally I was called by another lady, and probably the manager; she told me that they were investigating my case. Apparently, the photo that appears in their computer with my name and all my data, was defective and not exactly the same than the one appearing in my driver’s license card. Immediately I knew that Mr. Satan was truly behind this odd thing. Supposedly, it was new for them. She even had to call other people in the central offices but she gave me a temporary license until March 27, and also made an appointment for the driving test for March 13 at 10 AM... And, God’s mercy won this battle. But, what about if I were confused or with dementia and had not appealed the first decision? Even for these employees with Satan behind or not, they seemed to be very comfortable with telling me that I simply had to wait until they can fix my picture after the INVESTIGATION was done!!!! The first girl kept saying, "I am sorry but there is nothing that we can do for you until the investigation is over and I do not know how long it will take." Well, as she was saying it, her face did not show any remorse at all! And yes, this particular branch will be in my prayers for a long time, even after I get my new license. They truly acted as morons! It was as scary as two years ago. Obviously, I have to grow in praying for them but feeling merciful as I do it… The healing would consist in not feeling that they are morons at all and I am super sure that God will bless me with the necessary grace. What worries me now is that two years ago, when I suffered a horror at the same place, I never did anything about it… I say it because this time as I entered the place, I felt some resentment!!! Ouch!


If you want bizarre stories, that is one. And the scheme from Satan is for us to start resenting these people at all cost… and bingo, this is exactly the contrary to loving your neighbor as yourself. It is interesting that later on, February 26, a Hispanic TV station said that many who are trying to get their paperwork in order to get a driver’s license after the executive order of President Obama on their behalf is completed, have been sent home to have them scheduled to come back later after doing an investigation on them, when in fact, this is something that has been recommended by the State of California to be done for those who fit this upcoming law (5 million Hispanics), that is, passing the written test and whatever else prior to the final paperwork to obtain their residence, and which is still on the air at the end of February. Was this what I suffered? Have they fixed the computers at the central quarters of the California DMV, which is expecting so many that are trying to get their immigrant status in order, so that it forces the different DMV’s to bring these people back after they are investigated. What an amazing confusion…  


Wednesday, February 11


I want to place here part of an email I sent my kids on this day. I want to share it with you because every illness is related in some form or another with toxicity coming from everywhere. At least, you can be reminded to do your best to read about it in the Internet and find ways to diminish the amount of toxicity we all are inhaling or eating. Cancer is totally related to it because toxins produce inflammation in our bodies, and inflammation is essential for cells to change their way of reproducing and to become cancerous. Atherosclerotic heart disease and subsequent hear attacks are also related to inflammation…Memory loss is related as well.  So, as part of my love for you my readers, I must share with you what I did share with my kids.

 From the newsletter titled “Blaylock Wellness Report for November 2014, I will quote a few lines on the subject titled “Air Pollution causes Brain Damage." 


"It’s basic human nature that we tend not to fear what we cannot see. So much of our life experience has taught us not to fear invisible things such as the wind – until it becomes a visible tornado or hurricane – and infectious microbes – until they cause sickness. The same is true of air pollution. When I was starting out in medicine, I too rejected the idea that the world was filled with DANGEORUS TOXIC METALS and harmful by-products of modern industrial life. I’m not so naive anymore. This is an area of intense research by some of the best laboratories and scientific minds in the world. The problem is very real and very urgent, yet virtually ignored by the media and health professionals that POLLUTANTS affect the brain like Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.

 Risks to the developing brain: the most rapid and extensive development of a baby’s brain occurs during the last trimester of pregnancy and the first two years after birth. But the prefrontal cortex, which controls the most complex and advanced types of mental function, continues to develop until around age 27…. The prefrontal lobes are essential for focusing attention, which is critical for both learning and deeper thinking. Damage to this area of the brain can result in easy distractibility – what we sometimes call a ‘wandering mind.’

 "Another part of the prefrontal lobe (the orbito-frontal cortex) is critical for making social decisions, as well as controlling fear and other types of social behavior. Teenagers often make poor decisions such as jumping off rooftops, driving recklessly, climbing high towers and other risky behaviors. The reason is that this part of the brain in teens, and even young adults, is still incompletely developed. Particulate pollution can impair the maturation of these critical brain areas.

The 10 most polluted cities in the US.

1. Los Angeles (metropolitan area including Long Beach and Riverside)

2. Bakersfield, CA

3. Visalia and Porterville, CA

4. Fresno and Madera, CA

5. Sacramento, CA

6. Hanford and Corcoran, CA

7. Houston, TX

8. San Diego, CA

9. San Luis Obispo and Paso Robles, CA

10. Charlotte, NC  


THE ABOVE ARE ONLY HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS SPLENDID REPORT of 12 pages. It is interesting that California is a dangerous place to reside regarding toxicity! (Ouch).

Dr. Russell Blaylock is a board certified neurosurgeon, health practitioner, author and lecturer. He recently retired to devote his full attention to nutritional studies and research. His name will appear later in this blog and for something that I believe it will become a gift for me.


Friday, February 13


The day started with my Lord trying to make sure I knew He was right next to me.

I did not feel well at all and had to go to the next city (10 minutes via expressway) to the Whole Food Market (for organic food) and to a CVS pharmacy to buy the probiotic I take and that this pharmacy always has in stock, instead of having to order it in other places. As I drove from the organic market to the pharmacy, I suddenly felt so much love for Jesus and with tears in my eyes and in Spanish I said loud, “Señor , eres mi sol  – mi luna –  mis estrellas. Eres mi fé, esperanza y amor. Te amo tanto!” and immediately I started praying in tongues. In English, this is what I told God, “Lord, you are my sun – my moon – my stars. You are my faith, hope and love. I love You so much!”


I entered the pharmacy and very soon after, a lady employee passed by and with a great smile, she said, “You hair is beautiful.” Again and again, people keep saying that…  I arrived to the area of the pharmacy itself and there were 10 people in line waiting to pick up their prescriptions. I needed to the pharmacy department because the probiotic is kept in the refrigerator and besides is very expensive, or $120 for 30 small envelopes with the powder. I was walking with the aid of my cane. I went to the back if the line as customer # 11and within 3 minutes or so, a lady in her 40’s came to follow me (# 12) and almost immediately, she said to me, “Please go sit down and I will keep your space. When I get to the front, then you can get up and take your turn.” I was amazed. I did so and sure enough, we did what she suggested. It took about 15 minutes and I started to pray the Rosary in atonement for all the people in that pharmacy, whether employees or clients.  We did as planned and at the end, I thanked her and went to the bathroom which is located inside a deposit area with many boxes. An old woman came out just seconds before, and she went back to open this heavy door for me. God was moving everybody to show me what being merciful is all about, and how much He loves me…! Wow. I left this pharmacy in a state of amazement! I thought, “This God is real… He is truly like a mom to me… He is everywhere, like EWTN is!”

That afternoon, I was led to check page 161 in one of my Bibles.


John 10 – Verse 1: Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever does not enter a sheepfold through the gate but climbs over elsewhere is a thief and a robber. 2. But whoever enters through the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. 3. The gatekeeper opens it for him, and the sheep hear his voice as he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 5. But they will not follow a stranger; they will run away from him, because they do not recognize the voice of strangers. 6b …They did not realize what He was trying to tell them. 7. So, Jesus said again, “Amen, amen, I say to you, I am the gate for the sheep. 10. A thief comes only to steal and slaughter and destroy; I came so that they may have life and have it more abundantly. 11. I am the good shepherd. A good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12. A hired man, who is not a shepherd and whose sheep are not his own, sees a wolf coming and leaves the sheep and runs away, and the wolf catches and scatters them. 13. This is because he works for pay and has no concern for the sheep.


I understood these verses to be related to evangelization. Therefore, if we do not work at daily entering the GATE as a true disciple in all its meaning, our evangelization efforts can be a detriment to others because they lack the POWER OF HIS MERCY for us and for them. If we go over the fence and become super busy evangelizers but not out of love for brothers and sisters (resenting them!) nor denying ourselves and embracing our crosses, we can go through many Lent’s and Easter’s and see little progress in the overall sanctification of our parishes. At all times, we must work in cooperation with God the Father by working in doing His will; cooperating with God the Son by imitating His example, obeying His teaching and receiving Him as often as possible in the Eucharist and cooperating with God, the Holy Spirit, by receiving the Sacraments that allow Him to dwell in our souls, receiving His guidance. Once we pay attention to the points just mentioned and enter through the gate that Jesus spoke of, our work of evangelization will be successful. Have we ever thought about it in this way? I had not!


Saturday, February 14


At 8 AM, I heard a program from Fr. Robert Barron talking about the saints who followed Jesus with a “reckless abandonment.” I loved this description and felt the call to evangelize but with a “reckless abandonment”! Obviously, I will pray for this gift, which requires a reckless conversion on my part! Huh!


In the evening, I watched some television and fell asleep in a chair in my bedroom. The TV set was left in ABC where I was listening to the 11 PM news. As I woke up at 1 AM, the “Late Night Show’ was playing the Francis Effect. For a second I thought it was EWTN but realized it was not. It was an extraordinary presentation from 2013 about our present Pope Francis’ style in his guidance of the Church. Just two days before, I had read in the Internet a bunch of lies about his way of making many changes and inventing that he would change the Church in ways not expected. Well, my Lord wanted me to see the beauty of this Pope in many ways but most especially for his great love for the poor, and thereby, remembering St. Alberto.


In contrast, the prior news from 11 PM, had shown the celebration of St. Valentine’s Day in San Francisco. A large number of people got together to have a (feather) pillow fight. It cost the city $5,000 to clean the area! One pillow landed with much force on a man and he lost his balance and fell backwards, hitting his head on the pavement that made him loose his balance and became unconscious!!! Some people just came to watch the pillow fight and one of them said, “It is great to watch how people have fun on this day.” Ouch! This was an extraordinary demonstration of how childish some of our brothers and sisters are!


Sunday, February. 15


I also had problems with the Walgreens Pharmacy, which I use to fill out my medications and simply because it has a side window where I can pick up the prescriptions as if I were at a MacDonald’s… For someone like me who needs a cane to walk, this is a great gift. Well, this time they made a mistake and sent me in email saying that I had one more refill for my thyroid medication. I knew I had none but I allowed them to refill it so NOT to end up visiting my primary doctor for her to order this medication for the first time and this is why it would be her first time. I then placed the order via Internet on the Friday before. On this day, they called me and said that they had to contact my doctor to get another order… However, the doctor from this Medical Professional Group and who ordered it was an urgent care physician who did it because my prior primary care physician had been fired (one year ago), He simply ordered it and for one year as a favor… since I was a physician as well, so that I would have plenty of time to find another primary care doctor.


All this confusion… typical of Satan, forced me to call Walgreen’s and asked them NOT TO CONTACT THIS DOCTOR… since he had nothing to do with my present primary care per se… Thank God that I was able to get through on this Sunday without too much waiting on the phone and fixed the problem. Now I have to contact my present primary doctor to order more, for which she may ask me to visit her just to order it because the secretaries are set that it is the only way that she would order any medicine that she has not ordered before… Worse: even if she agreed to do it since she has become my friend, I need to pass on to her a special need for this medication… I take 100 mcg per day but I need to order pills of 50 micrograms because they are white (no colorant) versus one pill of 100 micrograms, which is pink. If I did not visit my doctor, it would avoid for Medicare and my secondary insurance paying for a visit that had no sense… since I have an appointment with her for March anyway. This is another example of multiple confusions and problems with very simple things for my health. Again, it looked like another chance to resent…

 Monday, February 16

I was praying the Rosary at 12:30 PM with EWTN/español. I am re learning some parts of the Rosary which I had forgotten since I have prayed in English for 40 years… It is so fun for me… Well, as I was praying I received the idea of writing a PRAYER CARD with the essentials for my daily spiritual present moments and to cover it with plastic and carry it with me always, and pray it a few times a day. Of course, with time, I would know it by heart. Little did I understand then about the importance of this card, especially when surrounded by so many confusions as described above. This is the content of the card:

Prayer to open my soul to the Holy Spirit

      (To be prayed often each day!)


Here I am Lord to deny myself. I am here

to do Your will. I am here to embrace my 

present crosses. Here I am Lord to follow

You and Your example and to love You

with all my heart, mind and soul and my

neighbor as myself and as You love them.


Jesus,  have mercy on me a  sinner, and

increase my trust in Your love for me so               

that  I  do  not  worry  in  each  present

moment,  not  even  for a  second.  Also,

increase my fidelity to obey Your will as

Our Lady and our Mother did. Amen.


When printed, I folded it in half and covered with a plastic paper and since then, I keep it close to me, whether at home or in my purse when I am out. It has the size of a credit card, so for all purposes, this is my spiritual credit card with which I am sort of dealing to obtain His mercy for me.


During the evening Rosary, a question came to my mind! What is the will of God for me minute by minute? How to find out? How is it revealed to me?  Recently I heard a priest speak about the characteristics of the moment when God is revealing His will to us; things like how we have peace when we hear it. But here it is what I understood during the Rosary, something that can help me to know what His will is without I having to analyze the moment when I think a message or a sign are revealing His will for me. I wrote it shortly after I finished praying.

If my habit is to desire to do His will come what it may,

and this being the product of my faith on His love for me added to my remembrance of how many blessings He has allowed in my life to get me to where I am today (whether having learned English as a teen ager or getting an MD degree with little cost to me, or the best, to realize at age 6 ½ that He is alive in the Consecrated Host), plus a robust prayer life, then, in this case, I do not have to ever worry or question how or when God will reveal His will to me. Yet, if THEN, I still wonder or have any thoughts on the question of how do I know God’s will at any particular moment, it is a superfluous and insulting behavior towards God  and worse, it reveals that I want to be in control of my spirituality trying to be sure I am doing the right thing. The latter is not faith anymore.


This another look at it: since faith can move mountains, or so He said while on this earth, 1) a radical trust in God’s mercy means that His mercy will show me the Way at any particular  moment and what He expects of me (the Truth) and even help me to proceed and obey it (the Life). 2) Therefore, I must use my time to pray often (like with the card to wire my brain up to be in His Presence within asking for my will to be His). 3) This behavior can show Him how much I love Him. 4) Moreover, if I am attentive to the opportunities I find in serving my brothers and sisters (as part of His will for each moment), which will show my love for them, these four things will assure me that I do not have to understand too much as to how God will tell me what His will is, nor worry that I will detest His will and change my mind abruptly to do what I want. Again, blind total trust in God’s love and mercy for me, constant prayer asking for His will to be done in my life and love for Him and for neighbor (exercising mercy) are necessary to suppress my flesh and overcome the world and Satan’s ideas. Moreover, it removes the question regarding if any call to do whatever He wants is His or not. Of course, peace and joy must accompany this process but these are a fruit of my FAITH WITHOUT FEAR… or trust in Him.


I say it without being a theologian because for many years I have had that experience of this aspect of His mercy. In the other hand, we have St. Luke giving us a detailed account of a holy young woman that lived this concept. She not only said yes to God no matter if she did not understand too well how it would end up, but had the courage of thinking on the needs of her cousin and ran to serve her. The Holy Spirit inspired St. Luke to write these details for us to have a wonderful sign as to how His mercy works. Our Lady was merciful towards her cousin shortly after her big yes to God and He kept showing His mercy to her, and then more than ever since she was carrying God in her womb. Once more: this is my experience and I feel certain that this is God’s will for me to share it with you.


Sunday, February 22

On this Sunday including at Mass, I thanked God for His mercy since on this date and a little less than 4 decades ago, a nun from my parish in Ann Arbor, MI., Sister Mary Faith, took me to the first Charismatic prayer meeting in this city in a school gym with the Word of God Community, one of 3 or 4 in the same night, and I found 500 people praising God and praying in tongues. Sister had offered to go with me 3 times. I told her at the end of this first meeting, not to worry, that I would continue going by myself. The next week I placed my name to attend to the upcoming Life in the Spirit Seminar, at the end of which, members of this community would pray over me to have the Holy Ghost descend on me as in a brand new Pentecost, or said in other words, to say yes as an adult to my encounters with Him at my Baptism and Confirmation. And on May 19 of that year (the same 5/19 that you find at the top of this blog site), I did receive this new Pentecost or re-affirmation of my Baptismal and Confirmation promises, and the rest is history. I use 519 for my Internet address as well and for this site in order to always have the Holy Ghost in charge of all that I write and read… via Internet communications of any kind.

On this date of this encounter with the Third Person of the Holy Trinity, I already had four boy’s ages, 9, 7, 2 and one year olds. At the end of that year, we moved to Costa Rica to live there forever or so we thought. We had explored my husband’s country of origin, the Dominican Republic, but Costa Rica also known as the Switzerland of the Americas because we do not have an army, only a police force and a democracy never tainted by a dictatorship, was his choice My husband’s dream was to return to Latin America. It was not mine but I accepted it. However, 18 months later we were back in Ann Arbor. Of course, I needed the Holy Ghost to guide us, and God knew it but I did not. So, before our travel, He had moved us to Ann Arbor from a Detroit suburb and it is a long story of why it was done. By moving to Central America, my husband saw the problems of socialized medicine as present then and now in Costa Rica. He needed that picture to be clear in order to return to the United States without the temptation of missing a wonderful life in a Latin America.  

It was in Costa Rica when I received my first locution in November of 1979, and this was to know how God would sell all the things we had taken for our home in this country. This is one of the most explicit and clear proofs for me that God is alive, then, right now and will be forever. As you can see, the Lord has perfect plans for us, and our yes to His will is simply the most intelligent move that we can make! Walking the walk with Him is simple. He equips us with everything we need. Of course, the world and Satan have re-wired our brains to substitute His Truths with lies, but with Him, all things are possible… We lost about $100,000 dollars with the move down and back. In retrospect, it was an act of His mercy to get us back to the U. S. in order for the children to have an education here and find wives and the futures that He had in mind. As part of this plan of God, my second son who had studied Psychology at Notre Dame, in South Bend, Indiana, with time he learned computer skills and today he works as an engineer in this field. He was gifted with a very intelligent brain and never has had problems with this evolving technology. 

And of course, I needed to be with him so that he could put together this blog site and assist me whenever there is a problem. I made much money in my practice of a specialty that I did not choose. I wanted to be a cardiologist. He sent me to be in the anesthesia business, which would help me enormously in two ways: 1) it is a specialty that produces much money. In fact, a few days back, I received an email asking me if I was available to do a locum tenens (to cover a practice for a certain period of time) with weekends free and working only 8 hours a day, and they would pay me $175.00/ hour, or $1,400.00/day or 7,000.00 a week or about $30,000 a month… 2) It also helped me to understand how fluoride was behind my memory loss…

In a few years and after I publish the book with the details of how I reversed my dementia, many people with this illness will be detoxified and recovered from this malady. And that is simply an example of God’s mercy for this entire generation. When I pass this information to people in super markets for example, as they see me buying many large 6 pack bottles of Evian, often I am asked as to why I buy so many. I, of course, use this opportunity to pass the story about my memory loss reversal, and every time, their faces express a huge surprise and much interest on the subject matter. No one has heard about fluoride being behind this common health problem. And of course, as written many times before, all anesthetic gases are fluorinated, and this fact led me to fluoride as the cause of simple dementia, not Alzheimer’s since I do not have the genes for this latter illness. Of course, I wonder if people with the genetics for Alzheimer’s may never have a full blown case of dementia if they are detoxified as well.

His mercy helped me in several angles besides money and memory loss, because not once was I attached to money or possessions. After driving 3 Mercedes Benz’, one Cadillac and many other cars and living in mansions with very expensive furniture, I gave my monies away and never missed them even once. But my son the computer engineer, makes money enough to help me cover my needs, since $2,700/month from the Social Security check is not enough to cover all insurances, my car upkeep and very expensive organic foods. I give you all these very personal details in order to underline the fact that God’s mercy is real, is magnanimous and it represents His love for each one of us. I always tell Him over and over that He is too much and therefore, that I do not know what to do with Him!!!

On this same day, the annual program selecting the best movies, actors, actresses, writers and producers of the cinema industry came to be (the Oscar’s). I prayed much for all of them, and of course, for all the people in this theater in Los Angeles. I felt a profound love for all of them. It was a magical moment for me because I truly loved them and asked for God’s mercy for their souls to be saved. This love was not mine… It was His merciful love for them and He was showing me how I could love them very much as well.

Tuesday, February 24

The Gospel for this day was about the Our Father. In this prayer, the most perfect one since it came from God the Son for us to address God the Father, we pray that His will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Here was the topic for all of us to consider, or how to know what that will of God is for each of us and I have written much already on this subject. Here is one more explanation from one of our priests. He asked, how do we find out what His will is for us? He said that we need to pray for this knowledge, and it seemed logical to do so. Then is when I was given EVEN MORE ideas on this subject.

A couple of days ago, when I was seeking how to title this blog, I was sent to the Gospel of John, chapter 4. It is about the Samaritan woman at the well and from whom Jesus requested some water; she was the first woman and convert evangelist on behalf of the Messiah King. His 12 apostles had already been chosen and they were working on the proclamation of the Gospel, but the Bible clearly places her as the messenger of the good news in this small Samaritan town of Sycar. She made disciples of other Samaritans after the story she told them of her experience regarding her meeting with Jesus; because of her, they invited Jesus to remain with them and He spent two days at Sycar. This encounter made more Samaritan disciples as they heard His Word directly coming from Him! It is clear that God’s Word is powerful. What an amazing chain of events especially because Jesus had been denied at one point, to pass through another Samaritan town!  

Here we have a wonderful example of someone belonging to a group who detested the Jews and a woman, who would have never imagined that the will of God for her was to make disciples for Jesus. This was unimaginable or simply impossible. For us, it reminds us that we can do so many things for the Kingdom, even if we cannot fathom them as the will of God for us. It reinforces the fact that we all have a special job to do on His behalf. Of course, it leaves many with the same question: “But what is the will of God for me in particular?”

It is also interesting that in this same John chapter 4, the disciples came to Jesus with food and He said in verse 34, “My food is to do the will of the One Who sent Me, and to finish His work!” Huh! So, there is a general will of God for all of us, like obedience to the commandments, but also a very particular personal will of His for each one of us. Hmm! It is so clear in Deuteronomy 31. The Lord had told Moses that he would not cross the Jordan River. In verses 7-8; 23, Joshua is commissioned as Moses summoned him and in the presence of all Israel said to Joshua, “Be brave and steadfast, for you must bring this people into the land which the Lord swore to their fathers He would give them; you must put them in possession of their heritage. IT IS THE LORD WHO MARCHES BEFORE YOU; He will be with you and will never fail you or forsake you. So do not fear or be dismayed”…. Then the Lord commissioned Joshua, son of Nun, and said to him, “Be brave and steadfast, for it is you who must bring the Israelites into the land which I promised them on oath. I, Myself, will be with you.”

Here are again the same tactics of our God: He has a plan for each of us, and this plan when allowed to be developed, will commission each one of us to do something for His Kingdom. We have only one job: to trust that He loves us and that He will see to it that we, one day, find out what our commission is and be equipped to do it. I am sure that Joshua never thought of taking all of Israel to the Promised Land. In fact, they were just there ready to cross the Jordan River and suddenly, he became the successor of the great Moses…Do we think on these terms ever, that is, that God will reveal to us His will in due time and that our work is to convert ourselves to say yes to each present moment events as the sure way to get to wherever He has already decided for us to be? And that this form of faith requires that we live a life totally abandoned to His Divine Providence, which means that I do not have to know the hows, and where and when it would happen? And that such attitude is like an extractor of His mercy because we truly trust in Him?

Regarding the Samaritan woman, there is another point: she came to believe in Him because SHE SPENT SOME TIME WITH JESUS… Notice how important is to just be one on one with Him. In the U.S, He is present in all Tabernacles without any of us being afraid of being persecuted for our faith (at least for now except for some unjust laws), which means that we should spend time with Him and not to pressure Him to tell us what is His will for us… Nooh! It is simply an encounter of love from Him to us and from us to Him. What He decides to do with this time of togetherness is up to Him but at least, we give Him the opportunity to “see” face to face, our love for Him; the fruit of the encounter could be how His Spirit within us guide us in the knowledge of His PARTICULAR will for us for that day. We know that Jesus’ overall will is to follow the Commandments, most especially those which involve love for Him and for neighbor. These two loves are like the yeast that makes us grow, as it does for a loaf of bread.

I was led to expand the understanding of what I have mentioned so far and it is to a certain point repetitious. I am sure that personally, I needed such repetition, so I will submit you to it as well! à Of course, we need and should know what His particular will is because as the Samaritan woman, we may not even fathom what we are to do. Yet, we cannot focus on just seeking on what His will is for that moment. We have to focus in our spiritual ongoing preparation full of small and major conversions, but needed to help us to hear His orders at a personal level. Here we have to add some yeast of our own: our total trust that He will find the ways to inform us of what He wants of us. AND YES, THIS IS WHEN THE LITTLE CARD I made with His instructions for praying it often during the day, is key to have His Spirit guide me to know His will at every corner of my life, BUT in His time and with many graces to carry it out.

Jesus also spoke to the Samaritan woman about another very interesting topic. In verses 23-25 He said to her, “But the hour is coming, and is now here, when true worshipers will worship the Father in Spirit and truth; and indeed, the Father seeks such people to worship Him. God is spirit and those who worship Him, must worship in Spirit and in truth.” My Bible has a note saying that “Worshipping in Spirit and truth is not a reference to an interior worship within one’s own spirit. The word spirit refers to God the Holy Spirit that reveals truth and enables one to worship God appropriately.”

Another similar explanation appears in John 14: 15-17. “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate to be with you always, the Spirit of truth, which the world cannot accept, because it neither sees nor knows it. But you know it, because it remains with you and will be with you.” (This reflects the splendor of the Sacraments of Baptism and Confirmation).

These verses are super clear. If we love Him (for example, if we truly want to do His will at all cost and accept everything He allows in our life with reverence because He has decided it to be so) and keep the commandments, the Spirit will lead us to know God’s personal will for us, and also, we would be worshiping the Father as we should. Wow!  In the other hand, if we pray asking to know His will but show little interest in truly following whatever He tells us to do as an act of love on our part for Him, then the prayer is equivalent to lip service and we will  have a lot of trouble trying to keep His commandments. But since we are marred with the potential of not loving Him in the ways He explains above, there we have the Sacrament of Reconciliation to confess our sins, and the Sacrament of Communion to consolidate our love for Him, in order to start all over again, and the Spirit will guide us to know His Truth and His will in all its forms.

The Church under the guidance of the Holy Ghost, has the perfect recipe for all of us to become the BEST EVANGELIZERS possible bringing to Jesus all peoples from all religions and no religion, Who in turn will take us to His Father and we can become the stars that bring peace on earth, solidarity leading to unity and witnesses of what the “Joy of the Gospel” is all about… When everything is done and said, we should always be thanking Him for His mercy to create such a wonderful plan to do powerful spiritual deeds in a world that seems to be coming apart with Satan, the world and our flesh leading us to the killing of each other at different stages of our lives. At times, homilies are wonderful but incomplete and tend to leave us with a bunch of do’s and don’ts while we try to journey with hearts that are not 100% catechized and want to work very hard for our own personal salvation. Yet, God has it all super arranged and His Son came precisely to show us in detail the Way, the Truth and the Life as we have read in John’s Gospel.

On this very day, after this feast of the understanding of this matter, I suddenly remembered that after Communion at my daily Mass, He said, “I love each one of you so much that I would go through a complete passion and crucifixion but for each one of you in particular. I would suffer such cruel death over and over if I can rescue you from your own destruction.” I felt a deep inner sense of gratitude and at the same time, of pain and shame for me not understanding the width, length and depth of His love for me and everybody else. We simply have no idea! Yet, His Mercy is standing next to us and within us waiting for our  yes to His plan and then His mercy, would do the rest… Also after Communion, He had asked me to offer each Mass and as often as possible in thanksgiving for His merciful plan of salvation.

Wednesday, February 25

I received a health newsletter for February, 2015 from the same Dr. Russell Blaylock, the retired neurosurgeon and an expert in toxicity in our bodies. He gave an ample explanation about an herb called Vinpocetine. I recognized the name but did not recall what it was for. Here there is a little information about it for two reasons:

1. It can inform you of what seem an excellent product for aging brains and everybody on earth has this potential. It is also a potent anti-inflammatory agent.

2. Because it is working quite well for me and may be, it could be an answer from God since toxicity is the primary source of my hyperactive immune system, and such toxicity is intimately related with the production of inflammation; so, this supplement would help me quiet my crazy immunity.

And this test is related to another act of love from God. When I opened the newsletter so soon (normally I review them days after), I remembered having read about this supplement but a long time ago. Somehow, I was led to check where I keep my supplements and lo and behold, I found a bottle. I immediately thought that it was probably very old and being opened for who knows how many months or years back, it required that I would buy another one. However, the bottle had never being opened and the expiration dates was for later in 2015!!! Then it was when I realized that this newsletter had been written precisely at this time and that I had checked it right away, because God wanted it to be so. So, I started it in small doses as Dr. Blaylock recommends. And sure enough, I AM NOT REACTING TO MY PAIN MEDICATION with pain first from the TRAMADOL itself and as violently as before. I still have pain but now I can wait from dosage to dosage for longer and after I take it, I do not have as much pain as before. Amazing. At times, I had to take a small amount of the other drug, Vicodin in between doses of Tramadol since I only can consume 4 Tramadol tablets per day. The Vicodin, a much powerful narcotic has Tylenol and I get severe diarrhea… The most interesting part is that it works very fast since in short 4 days, I have had a pleasant diminution of my immune system hyper activity. So, I felt that I should share this little miracle with you… Would it work for the long term? I cannot even spend one minute on this subject. Who cares! I should only be interested in the fact that His love for me is so brutal that whatever He wants, that is alright with me. And thank you for your prayers… They work!!! Here is a little more about this supplement:

Vinpocetine (pronounced vin-poe-ce-teen), is a nutritional supplement derived from the periwinkle plant. It has just recently become available in the U.S. through food, drug and mass market retailers as a nutritional supplement.

 The supplement is already very much in use in Europe, where physicians believe it is far more effective than other supplements — such as ginkgo biloba — used for memory and brain function. Vinpocetine actually contains many of the same cerebral-enhancing effects as ginkgo biloba, but has been shown to be more effective in much shorter time. Here are some of its beneficial health effects:

1. It is a natural compound that slows aging!

2. Increases blood flow in the brain with enhancement of cognitive ability (thinking), memory and attention, as demonstrated in studies in both animals and humans. It does it by increasing the levels of several neurotransmitters which are especially vulnerable in the aging brain, as well as for people with specific neurological disorders such as Parkinson’s disease and Alzheimer’s dementia, and also it reduces seizures.

It increases the brain blood flow by opening the smaller brain arteries and by making red blood cells flexible. The blood vessels that actually bring oxygen and nutrients to brain cells are the capillaries, which have such a small diameter that blood cells must pass through them in single file, and even then can pass through only if they are squeezed down to a smaller size. So, this flexibility of red blood cells is critical to brain health because with many diseases as well as with aging, red blood cells can become stiff and unable to pass through the capillaries. This can lead to microscopic strokes throughout the brain.

3. It inhibits excito-toxicity, which plays a major role in Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, Huntington’s disease, ALS, multiple sclerosis, strokes, brain trauma, depression, autism and anxiety.

4. It reduces inflammation and with this property it strikes at the central cause of many neurological diseases. By cooling inflammation, it can ease epileptic seizures.

5. It reverses hearing loss

6. It significantly increases the protective antioxidant glutathione (the natural body detoxifier made by our liver)


I have shared many things and the same theme was repeated over and over and seen from different angles, that is, to conform to God’s will without any fear that we would get lost if we are not in control of the process of knowing His will and obeying it. Our entire life is one of spiritual changes as we walk with Jesus day and night. In this month and with 2 weeks of Lent already gone, He wanted me to get rid of thinking too much about this journey. My major conversion is and will be to understand that He is the Good Shepherd and that He loves me in ways that I could not even imagine. My entire life has been made of many experiences where He blessed me with many temporal and spiritual gifts. Therefore, I must 1) daily recognize these gifts, 2) thank Him for them and 3) keep bugging Him with my prayer card, one that He composed for me to invite Him into my life to direct it and form it for the good of others, and as a form for me to praise Him and give Him glory. Of course, I must mean what I pray; if I cannot, I will ask Him for the grace and He will give it to me. Just repeating words will have little effect in my spiritual formation and ongoing conversion.

So far, He has given me much material to understand that all my health problems which He could heal instantaneously are necessary as a form of purification to keep walking in this valley of tears, in order to be His disciple in all its meaning. I have also understood ONE MORE TIME that love is the ingredient that changes the water into wine… I have an example: we have a new neighbor who is renting a home next to ours. There are a few things that I find in the back of our home and in front (once) that seem to mean she is not happy and this due to a short conversation we had about 3 months ago and that apparently she did not like it. It took me several days to recognize that Satan is using this image of God to seed division and controversy and I decided to place her in my community Rosary. However, shortly after and after Communion, He told me that I still did not understand that praying for others is lip service unless I do it with love for the other. He asked me to ask Him at a Mass to be able to love my neighbor. I did and sure enough, some 2 days later, I felt great love for her and ever since I have lost all my resentment.

Yes, any lack of love is contrary to God. I have a list of many people I have resented and still resent. Yet, I keep forgetting how cheap it is to ask and to get… That is to ask God for the grace to love them and to see how fast it happens and then to know that my prayer for them is powerful; yet, I must be careful and pray with love BUT NOT for my convenience, that is to get along with the other for my own good; I must pray with love for the brother or sister for them to receive the desire to convert and the ways, people or readings they must encounter to do so… Satan is very good at seeking ways to make us resent others. So, asking God to love them will totally ruin his plan…

Therefore, the main conversion I need right now is to always remember that I need to love everyone, and when I humanly cannot, to ask and He will give me such love ASAP. I must report that using this card for prayer, I found myself yearning to pray more and more… It is like a thirst I have now to talk to Him often but not expecting anything from Him, like a locution. It is a simple desire to tell Him how much I care for Him…I am also sure that the prayer from many of you for me is giving much fruit. Thank you!

May you have a wonderful spiritual experience for the rest of this Lent.

P.S.: as always I need some prayer.

1) On March 13 I will have my driving test….!!!!! At 11 AM, Pacific time. Please pray for me before that hour! Satan will try everything… since if I cannot drive by myself, I will not be able to attend daily Mass!!!!!!! And my eyesight with the new glasses is pretty O.K. I do not feel like I am placing other drivers in jeopardy.

2) On March 18: I will have another intraocular injection.

Thank you again!



February 1, 2015

Isaiah 54: 10. “Though the mountains leave their place and the hills be shaken, My love shall never leave you or My covenant of peace be shaken,” says the Lord, “Who has mercy on you.”

At the beginning of the period prior to receiving instructions for this blog, little did I know that it had to do with the subject of God’s mercy! At the end of this month, I have not stopped thanking Him for revealing the power behind His mercy, the way it works and the importance of my trusting in His mercy like never before. However, for some of you lay people, this topic and the way that it is discussed may be redundant. I am sorry if it is so… If any Priest is reading this blog, I am almost positive that perhaps you will find the discussion somewhat repetitive and of a subject that you must know very well. Please have mercy of this lay person who has no theology background. And yes, it is very repetitive in its presentation because it was the way that was delivered to me. I imagine that it came that way in order to hammer my intellect with what I did not know about God’s mercy, but also by using the tool of repetition so that I would never forget it, ever again! Here are the details of my spiritual learning for this past month:

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

I attended the late afternoon Mass in celebration of the next day’s feast of Our Lady as Mother of God. I arrived early, prayed the Rosary and then the Lord wanted me to read a page in my little Bible that I keep in my purse. I read Psalms 136 and 138. In Psalm 136, the phrase “God’s love endures forever” was repeated 26 times…!  It is a hymn of thanksgiving for God’s everlasting love and as an example of the repetition, verses 1-3 read: “Praise the Lord, Who is so good; God’s love endures forever; praise de God of gods; God’s love endures forever; praise the Lord of lords; God’s love endures forever.” It continues enumerating all the different times that God helped Israel’s walk for 40 years in the desert.

Psalm 138, verses 1-4; 7-8, read:

“I thank You Lord, with all my heart; before the gods to You I sing. I bow low toward Your holy temple; I praise your Name for Your fidelity and love. For You have exalted over all Your Name and Your promise. When I cried out, You answered; You strengthened my spirit. All the kings of earth will praise You, Lord, when they hear the words of Your mouth.  Though I walk in the midst of dangers, You guard my life when my enemies rage. You stretch out Your hand; Your right hand saves me. The Lord is with me to the end. Lord, Your love endures forever. Never forsake the work of Your hands!”

I was amazed that in the last hours of 2014 and before His Eucharistic Presence, He wanted to remind me Who is in charge! And yes, the psalmist was recounting Israel’s history and how He never forsook them. But what about me? Has He forsaken me? O no… He never has, BECAUSE HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER, even on days like this when there was an event that I did not understand! I was not feeling too well just before the beginning of Mass. My many illnesses sometimes hound me.  So, He knew my heart and my needs and wanted to be sure that I would enter 2015 understanding that there should be no fear or questions regarding my difficult present moment, simply because He loves me and big time!.

The Mass started and after Communion, He asked, “How many times have you asked for My Mercy to help you finish your book?” I was surprised when I had to answer, “Never.” Wow… This was my status: I was ignoring His mercy as the greatest blessing I can receive moment by moment. The Psalms had insisted that God’s love endures forever, and what is mercy? I believe that it was our Pope of Mercy, St. John Paul II who said, “Mercy is the other side of the coin of His love.” Since then, I have learned that mercy is not only an equivalent of His love, but actually it is the tenderest form of His love for each one of us. It is love but one which is very, very tender. Here is an example of the difference. It is not the same to love an adult person than it is to love a baby… that looks at you with a smile. Our love seems to become different and the word that best describes is “tenderness.” We melt with the smile of a baby or even if he/she is sleeping. This is how God feels about each one of us: He melts when He looks at us. We are His babies and I must start being alerted to such care from Him and like never before.

Well, that is His mercy and I had forgotten that with the problems of my left eye and my immune system becoming so hyperactive, I became distracted as I wrote this very important book where I will relate many topics to help my brothers and sisters in their fights with dementia, prevention of depression, cure of migraine headaches, understanding that we live in a toxic environment and how to help ourselves to minimize its harmful effects on our health, etc. I should have contacted His mercy, His tender love for all of us, in order to finish this book with the aid of His blessings… But no, I did not do it… Here I have been writing blogs on a site dedicated to His mercy, “Opus Misericordiae,” and yet, I have failed to understand the power of this His most tender love for us… It was then that I realized that this month’s blog had to explore this mystery, His mercy, but at a deeper level. And later, I found out that His mercy is the core element of the New Evangelization… a term coined by our Saint JPII… the Pope of God’s mercy…  SO FAR, THE LESSON HERE is to never forget that He is crazy about us… And I mean totally crazy and that He loves us beyond our expectations and many a time, He is busy loving us when we think He is far away! Ouch!

Friday, January 2, 2015

I was not feeling well and I was again thinking about my condition of eating followed by pain in my knees and left ankle. My Mother in heaven showed up to remind me one more time that MY POSITION IS TO KNOW WITHOUT A MINIMAL DOUBT THAT HE WILL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING. My job is to TRUST IN HIS MERCY! This constant recognition of His tender love for me will bring a resolution to these problems. She said, “You must tap into His mercy with total trust in such tender love, and He will take care of the rest. Two days into 2015, you have been given the gift of understanding and of wisdom about the power of God’s mercy for your life; yet, it all depends on your faith in His love, and such faith depends on a “radical yes” to His will, united to prayer of worship and petition, asking for the grace to be an obedient servant. Then, God will do all necessary to lead you to the next stage of your life as intended when you were created , but you doing all of this with the desire to give Him glory… and not just for you to feel better…”

January, 3 at 1:30 AM

I got up and turned my television on to have some light to go to the bathroom, instead of turning on the nearby lamp. Why did I do it? I have no idea!  EWTN was airing the life of St. Jeanne Jugan, who was a true disciple, that is, that she showed complete availability to the Holy Spirit. She obeyed without rebellion. She humbly allowed to be forgotten, to become anonymous. She was the seed that fell on the ground and died. Her heart became an altar of sacrifice.

She demonstrated the spirituality of a Eucharistic Sacrifice. Like Jesus, she lived a special quality of silence as she became an evangelizer. She did not lack forgiveness. She bore the injustices done to her. She did not ruminate while going through them in order to serve God with her crosses. She searched for the face of Jesus in all her sufferings. The Eucharistic Presence did not take the pain of her crosses; her crosses were simply transformed. She allowed the Holy Spirit within to pray on her behalf without ceasing.

It was wonderful how she was silent to the suffering of great injustices. And what prepared her for not protesting? It was her begging for the poor in these 23 years of silence. Her great suffering became great love for others, something like a fire within, and she gave herself more and more to Jesus with each person she encountered and that she helped. Her silence also spoke to the entire community, as she became the home of the ceaseless prayer of the Holy Spirit within, Who taught her everything to become a “new kind of evangelizer.” (Amazing example!)

Here there is a little more information from the Internet about St. Jeanne: She was born on October 25, 1792 and died on August 29, 1879. Her other name is Sister Mary of the Cross, L.S.P, born in Brittany, France, during the political and religious upheavals of the French Revolution and amid the anti-Catholic persecutions of the day. She was the foundress of the first Little Sisters of the Poor. She wrote a simple Rule of Life for this new community of women, and they went door-to-door, daily requesting food, clothing and money for the women in their care. This became Jugan’s life work, and she performed this mission for the next four decades. During the 1840s, many other young women joined Jugan in her mission of service to the elderly poor. By begging in the streets, the foundress was able to establish by the end of the decade, four more homes for their beneficiaries.

She was much sought-after whenever problems arose and worked with religious and civil authorities to seek help for the poor. By 1850, over 100 women had joined the congregation. Jugan, however, was been forced out of her leadership role by the Abbe Auguste Le Pailleur, the priest who had been appointed Superior General of the congregation by the local bishop. In an apparent effort to suppress her true role as foundress, he assigned her to do nothing but begging on the street until she was sent into retirement and a life of obscurity for 27 years.She was beatified on October 3, 1982 and canonized by Pope Benedict XVI.

With the story of this saint, I picked up much energy and edited my book “for hours”… My eye was not in the way. There is no doubt that His mercy was operating a big miracle of not only watching her story, but of getting up right at the moment of this program and choosing to turn on the television instead of using the light of a lamp. How many other great women have lived a life of severe persecution and yet, today they still serve as agents of His mercy, whereas the priest who persecuted her has been forgotten?

Sunday, January 4.

Jesus was very present during the Mass of this day. He is always present, or said in other words, I sense Him there with us, but sometimes, this feeling goes beyond a simple feeling of His Presence and I become inundated with joy, one that I cannot start or end. It just comes and gives me the certainty that He wants me to know He loves me… After Communion, Jesus asked me to add another RESOLUTION FOR 2015 à “To love every brother and sister as much as He does.”

I had been listening to some programs about the love of God for us, and how we should love others likewise. All of this requires that we deepen our relationship with Him, and many ideas were given as to how to deepen such relationship. I want to make a very special plea here to whomever is reading these lines: I am super convinced and actually have lived this in my life, that we could spend much time trying to read about what to do, and trying to work on the ways suggested by most teachers, writers, etc. This is the long way to do it. There is a short way: with a radical fiat to His will but moment to moment… which is the power behind our docility to the Holy Spirit’s guidance and help…which in turn opens the gates of His mercy like never before! Try it! I suspect that many times we confuse our fiat given years or months before regarding our work for the Kingdom, with the yes to be offered all day long regardless of the suffering involved!

Tuesday, January 6.

11.45 AM. My Mother said, “God’s mercy is the answer for the end times (this was also written by St. Faustina and St. JP II). Always understand that the mercy of God is His most tender love for you and everybody else. Yet, you open the gates of His mercy with the trust, that is, your faith without fear, that God loves you and He will win all your battles. If you do so, you will feel content, secure and peaceful as His mercy takes over your own heart, mind and soul.  Then, this TRUST will shine in your life in all you think, say and do. There is one more thing to do: in order for this light of your trust in Him to shine, you must say ‘yes’ to everything in each present moment; that is to be opened to do His will, to hear His guidance to go to the left of to the right or to stay still. This will lead you to:

1) Evangelization of other souls with great success because it is the mercy of God based in your trust that will evangelize through you.

2) For yourself, you will become a witness of the love of God for you despite your crosses, and this way you will proclaim the Kingdom by preaching to the world without using words.

3) This overall activity on your part will give many fruits and blessings, which in turn will not allow Satan to crush your efforts of evangelization by seeding despair and fear in other souls, or by stopping your efforts to write blogs or finish the book.

“At the end, after all is said and done, God’s mercy will bring peace and joy, but the process starts with each one of you, with a yes to God’s will. Remember, all what you should do like growing in the trust of His mercy to resolve all battles present in this world in 2015, DEPENDS ON YOUR YES…”

12:15 PM – My Mother: “Do you want the concept of the action of His mercy in the Bible to prove to you that all you have written above is true? (“Yes,” I said)

I was given a page number and it was Exodus 34: 27-28

“Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘Write down these words, for in accordance to them I have made a covenant with you and with Israel.’ So, Moses stayed there with the Lord for forty days and forty nights, without eating any food or drinking any water, and he wrote on the tablets the words of the covenant, the Ten Commandments.”

Our Lady: “This is an example of God’s mercy for Moses and Israel. Instead of you finding the word mercy, this is an example of such mercy.–> In His tender love for Israel, He wanted them to have a way of living conducive to show their love for God and for neighbor and to abstain from all sin. And Moses, through fasting and spending time with God (40 days), believed in God completely (trusted His love for him and Israel), and was the emissary, a tool of evangelization, in order to bring them salvation and protection from God against all their enemies. In the other hand, it was due to Israel’s doubts in such love of God for them, that made them spend 40 years in the desert, and it took Moses only 40 days!!! His faith was such that his face became radiant…upon spending these days in His Presence.”

Personally, it amazes me that we forget to recall often this episode in the life of Moses, since we have God PRESENT in the Eucharist and just sitting in front of Him, no doubt that could transform our faces with similar radiance, which is the fruit of His tender love for us, His mercy!

As I called for His mercy during the rest of the day, I was able to edit the book for 3-4 hours… My left eye did not cause me any problem… Normally it starts to give me some discomfort as the eye dries up, probably because of the light and heat from the screen. I concluded writing in my diary that truly, just calling God’s mercy and asking the Divine Niño to give me much trust, I was able to advance in the editing of the book. Amazing! What a beautiful day when we celebrate the three King’s visit to the Baby in Bethlehem. This Baby’s Spirit had visited me as well!

Saturday, January 10

We attended the Saturday afternoon Mass instead of our normal 8 AM on Sunday because we had the visit of one of my other sons, the theologian, and he would depart the following morning. It was later on this day and already at home that I realized that I had lost the left side lens of my eye glasses!!! I did not miss it because this is the eye that has very poor vision! Thank God it was the lens that is not needed… I discussed with my theologian son the importance of doing God’s will but without thinking of any pros and cons, and just simply saying yes and staying away from any fears related to that fiat.

Sunday, January 11

On this day, the Lord sent me to check x blog in this site, which turned out to be the one from March 2012, and it was exactly the topic I had talked to my son about. I guess that the Lord has repeated this truth many times for me to truly practice it.

Monday, January 12.

It turned out to be an amazing day… During the prayer of the Rosary, I was bringing to the Lord my visiting son who was going to make an important decision regarding his career. I was asking my Father for His mercy for this decision but I had moments of fear regarding the outcome. So, my Mother intervened and said, “Do not ask for mercy with fear. Ask for God’s mercy with great confidence that it will be resolved according to His plans, which are the best for him and his family.”

Then, I was led to look at page 750 in the Bible as I was inquiring what to do with my pain and if I had to contact my primary physician to get more Vicodin, since I was using left-over’s of this drug prescribed a year before by another doctor. I was having doubts again regarding writing these blogs, especially because I have no theology background. I always want to be sure that God wants me to do it and check with Him from time to time. I was bringing up to Him the case of the book that I need to finish and how I do not seem to finish the editing, plus if I truly had to continue working for the Kingdom at my old age and after 6+ years of blogging? Notice that no matter how much I understand what I have to do, that is to trust His mercy without any fears, I find myself showing fear over and over. However, at these moments I always realize that He loves me so much, that to my constant harassing with fear of this tender love for me, He always shows super patience because His mercy is precisely that, to love me even when I sin with my doubts.

Page 750 brought me to Sirach 23: 27. “Thus, all who dwell on the earth shall know, and all who inhabit the world shall understand that nothing is BETTER than the fear of the Lord, nothing more salutatory than to obey his commandments.” This page also had the beginning of chapter 24 titled, “Praise of Wisdom.”

It was clear to me how I need to live in “awe” of God’s love and mercy for me and all of us, which is fear of the Lord and as I obey His commandments.  Since part of His commandments and the most important ones are the love of God achieved by doing His will and the love of my neighbor, and in order to obey them I need the gift of wisdom from the Holy Spirit for me to accept doing it, plus asking for His help to do it! Then, God will take care of the rest for me and others. Again, there is nothing better than to love God by doing His holy will, loving my neighbor and calling the Holy Spirit to obtain the wisdom to follow this advice and to receive His help to accomplish it! Any other question has no reason to exist. When the time comes to stop the blogs, He will let me know. Regarding my pain medication, the Holy Spirit will guide me through this little storm. The book will be finished in His time, as long as I try to work on it as often as possible. In other words, living a day at a time but always wanting to do His will out of love for Him and for His glory, it is all what I need. All my fears turned out to have a very simple solution as you will read below!

I asked the Holy Spirit when would be the time to call my primary physician’s office since I only had 4.5 pills of Vicodin left. I took ½ a pill because I was having much pain. I prayed the Rosary again at noon time in Spanish! Love it now that I have EWTN/Espanol… When I was ready to call my physician, then my Saint JP II showed up. I hardly mention him in these blogs but he has been a great advisor since 3 days prior to his death on April 2, 2005. He came to announce when and the time that he would die. And I do not bring him up more often simply not to scare you with so many advisors that I have. On this day of January 12, 2015, he came to say, “Wait for another day to make the call. In the mean time, concentrate in God’s mercy. Call Him all day and ask for His mercy for this situation. You need to trust that His mercy will do everything you need for your pain. Think of this morning’s teaching from Sirach.” I answered, “But this is what I have tried to do and not call this doctor!” He then said, “No. You did not call her because you believed that God will guide you moment by moment about what to do! The truth is that you did not call her office because you do not want to be judged as one seeking more narcotics and what that implies!”

I realized that it was so. Then St. JP II (I refer to him as Papa Karol) said, “Look for the same page 750 but in the little Bible that you have here in your room.” I did and found this,

Wisdom 1: 1-2. “Love justice, you who judge the earth; think of the Lord in goodness, and seek Him in integrity of heart; because He is found by those who TEST HIM NOT, and He manifests Himself to those who do not disbelieve Him.” (Ouch!)

Immediately I heard the Holy Spirit within saying, “Seek God because you believe all that He has done, is doing and will do for you in this matter of your pain! Be forever just to His love for you! Do not test Him with your fear, which is lacking trust in His mercy!”  (Another ouch!)

Papa Karol: “Change your ways and ask for His mercy with purity of intention, which means with total trust in the TENDER LOVE He has for you, that is, trusting His mercy!!! You are still coming short in this part of your spiritual life. Did you have any problems for the cleaning the house to receive your son and his friend? (His friend: a lawyer helping my son to get the funds for his further theological studies and who lives in San Francisco)

I answered, “No, I had not problem at all despite the pain.” 

Papa Karol – “So, it all worked out because His help was around?” 

“Yes,” I answered.

Papa Karol – “Then, ask for His mercy all day today and SEE what happens! But ask for His mercy 1) as you accept that you need to share with many all these aspects of God’s mercy. 2) That all you will do to comply with point 1, depends on how much you fear the Lord, that is how you want to tell the world about His awesomeness and goodness through His mercy, as you also are ready to do so with the most perfect fiat! 3) That you will disband any fear and believe that He is in charge and giving you the right guidance for every step while allowing the crosses necessary to purify you of any lack of integrity of your heart. And with this, you will call on God’s mercy and receive it abundantly and immediately!” (Wow!)

I immediately accepted the proposal and realized that had I called the office of this physician, God’s mercy would not have resolved much of the problem because I was fearful, proud, not trusting in His mercy as I should! Wow again! How much I need help from my earthly friends who pray for me plus the Holy Spirit, my Mother and the Saints!

This was still Monday, January12, where the two top teams from college football were deciding who will be the champion: the game was between universities of Oregon and Ohio State.  I prayed for mercy for the fans and the coaches and players, especially after having lived such a full day in spiritual terms. After dinner (7 PM) I took Tramadol for some pain to carry me through the night hours. At 11:30 PM, I had no pain in my body. I had not even reacted against Tramadol. I wondered if this was a sign that His mercy when asked with a cleaner heart had helped me in debunking any pain.

By chance, I looked at an old piece of mail (a couple of days old) from the California Department of Motor Vehicles and read it and realized that this time I do not need to pass a written exam to renew my driver’s license. I only need to pass a driving test! Wow… What a gift!

Tuesday, January 13

It was 12:15 AM and I still had no pain. The feeling was super awesome!  I woke up at 4:40 AM to watch Pope Francis in Sri Lanka in an ecumenical meeting. I had almost no pain!  I arrived in church for 8 AM Mass at 7: 20 AM. I had taken ½ pill of Vicodin, just in case the pain would be back since it needs to be taken with milk, for example and not with an empty stomach. At this point, I only had a minor discomfort in the right knee. I offered the Mass to ask for pardon for my not knowing what His mercy is all about!  There is no doubt that He was sending me a sign and took most of my pain (more then 80%)away by just calling for His mercy but with the intention of doing it for His glory and the salvation of souls, and not just for my benefit!

I came home after Mass, had breakfast and went out again to buy a few things at a Target store. I had minimal pain without any further treatment. When I came back home, I ended up crying and crying for not having understood in all these years what is the mercy of God!!! I repented over and over.

Wednesday, January 14

After Mass, I visited Whole Food Market plus a CVS pharmacy and ended up very tired, probably because I had watched the Holy Father that early morning while in Sri Lanka!

I learned through a secular TV program that 21 billion dollars are spent in video games full of extreme violence. Adult women play them more than young people! There is no doubt that these are the end times and that we are testing God in many ways and some really stupid!

Thursday, January 15

At 10:15 AM, I was sent to read Sirach 34: 13 and following verses.  The following verse called my attention, “Like clay in the hands of the potter, to be molded according to his pleasure, so are men in the hands of the Creator, to be assigned by Him their function.”

I immediately realized that I had been living such verse in the last days.

Friday, January 16.

After 3 days with minimal pain, IT CAME BACK! I still had 2 ½  pills of Vicodin since I had not used any pain medication for 3 days!

Saturday, January 17

It turned out to be a huge day of teaching, and by now, I was reacting badly after taking Tramadol!  Please be warned that it will be a long, long story.

9:30 AM – I received this instruction. “When asking for guidance for what you need to do next, always also ask for guidance for that day for His evangelization plans as well! That is purity of intention in following Jesus and it is also true wisdom!  I was sent to a page in the Bible: 715

Wisdom 10: 9-14.

“But wisdom delivered from tribulations those who serve her. She, when the just man fled from his brother’s anger, guided him in direct ways, showed him the Kingdom of God and gave him knowledge of holy things; she prepared him in his labors and made abundant the fruit of his works, stood by him against the greed of his defrauders, and enriched him; she preserved him from foes and secured him against ambush, and she gave him the prize for his stern struggle that he might know that devotion to God is mightier than all else. She did not abandon the just man when he was sold, but delivered him from sin. She went down with him into the dungeon, and did not desert him in his bonds, until she brought him the scepter of royalty and authority over his oppressors, showed those who had defamed him false, and gave him eternal glory.”

It reminded me of my old days when professional persecutions had shown in my life and this is exactly what happened to me. In one instance, my oppressors cried in front of my husband for the bad they had done to me! I realized that may be the Lord wanted to remind me that He knows and lives with us all our crosses and that at the end, He brings good out of them. In my case, it brought more faith in His mercy for me while the attacks of fears went on. Of course, this was discerned much after the facts.

I had to do some shopping and this time I asked God in what order I had to visit the different establishments and I also asked for guidance regarding any customers for evangelization! It was during the Rosary that I was told to make 3 stops with the following orders. 1) Go to 7 Eleven and get some money at the ATM machine.  2) Then stop at Target. Do not check if they have Evian bottled water. Just enter and pay the bill (I had forgotten to do it via Internet and this was the due date!) I will give you a sign to confirm that this message is from Me by preparing for you a very good parking space!”  (This was very important since I had much pain). And yes, I found the closest parking space to the front door, which confirmed that yes, so far I was doing His will!  I still didn’t know if I should call my primary physician to get a STAT appointment to get more Vicodin. Would this be the third stop? At this time I was told that the third stop would be announced later.

3) As I came out of Target, I was sent to the closest supermarket since I needed milk and this chain sells the same kind that I buy at Whole Food Store (organic products), which is located in another city. In this way, I did not have to drive there. When I passed the bottled water isle, I found 10 six pack Evian’s at a low price!!! Had I disobeyed and checked on this water at Target, I may have lost the big discount! God had been merciful even in the smallest detail. They summoned Matthew to help me out to the car, and there it was my evangelizing appointment. He was extremely nice, in his 20’s. I gave him the gifts of mentioning how I had reversed my dementia since I had bought so many Evian’s, and what is the reason for the dementia, plus how to prevent depression in some of us. He was fascinated.

I have not told you that when I speak of the above gifts, I always identify myself as a retired physician. My MD degree gives them more credulity that this is not a supposition on my part. Matthew asked me, “But how did you find out about fluoride being the cause of your dementia? I said, “Because of God’s love for me. He is alive, really present among us and within us and I met Jesus when I was 6.5 years old!” The face of Matthew showed great fascination. When I finished with all the science behind it, I asked him, “Do you believe in God and attend a church?” He answered, “I attend (X Name) church,” (I did not recognize the name). He added that he goes once in a while. However, he said that once a week he meets with friends for a Bible study hour. I encouraged to keep these meetings with his friends and to attend church weekly.

I left with the clear understanding that Matthew was my customer and that I had allowed the Lord to lead me to this appointment in a parking lot, precisely to have more time and not been watched by store managers around us. And again, I was just seeding this young man’s soul with stories about the awesomeness of God because He had guided me to reverse my dementia and to prevent depressions. I am sure that because these two illnesses are so common in these days, he will never forget our meeting!  But what was more evident to me was to realize that THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF THE NEW EVANGELIZATION, where the mercy of God is the grace that can flourish within us to bring the joy of the Gospel to all people, even one at a time, as Mother Teresa did with the poor and sick of New Delhi. However, it required my total awakening to the fact that each day I must decide to do God’s will for me, like Our Lady did, and His will is to love Him and my neighbor as well, and out of such love, evangelization becomes a reality and He makes appointments for us. For me, I can see how it is “new” in my life! It requires that I pray daily for the Gifts and Fruits of the Holy Spirit, like wisdom to carry out these evangelizing moments under the mantle of His mercy in these very difficult times that the world lives.

Back at home at 12:10 PM, it was so clear to me that we are ONE BODY IN CHRIST. It is not just a song… Nooo. It should be a reality by the way we conduct ourselves as servants of the Lord, “doing whatever He tells us,” and when asking for favors from God, I must include my neighbor and its physical and spiritual needs, since we are ONE BODY, and what affects a part of the body, will affect all of us. I was being trained to be merciful as God is with me!!!!  It also pointed out to me the need to have more zeal to bring God to others. So, every morning I should ask for guidance for any evangelization that He is planning, but doing it out of love of God, to give Him glory, and out of love for my brothers and sisters, plus showing zeal about saving other souls. Evangelization should be in my mind from morning to evening, and more often than my own needs or desires!

12:30 PM – There was a program via EWTN and Live, called “ONE LIFE LA.” It was a pro-life group from Los Angeles and were asking all of us to pray and fast especially before January 22, reminiscing the same date but in 1973, when the law allowing abortions on demand was passed. I understood one more thing while speakers came and went. If this prayer and fasting is done UNDER OUR YES TO GOD’s WILL, especially with a big yes to our crosses, and do it often during the day preferably hour by hour calling at the same time for God’s mercy to change this law, then we really would be talking of a powerful tool to end it. On the contrary, if we call for God’s mercy and fast but we run our own agendas regarding our lives, even if we work in pro-life activities, the sea of God’s mercy may become just a lake!

Again and again and as written before in other blogs, we have not done the right thing by not revoking this law and many years ago. Yes, pro-life activities are beautiful human efforts to save many babies; yet, many more babies are still lost per day. In that sense, our pro-life activities are a failure!  We have failed as members of the Body of Christ by not showing mercy to the mothers and the entire industry of clinics where these abortions take place. This should be part of the New Evangelization, not only to save the physical lives of these images of God (the babies), but to save the souls of the perpetrators! Perhaps, this is the greatest fault of us within the Catholic Church, a body who has been fully evangelized on the power of God’s mercy with two Saints sent to do it for us in the XX C, and it is so, simply because we have remained totally blind regarding this issue.

Shouldn’t we be asking for God’s mercy for ourselves in order to grow into a great merciful love for our brothers and sisters, the perpetrators of these crimes, and through our love, to bring His mercy to change their hearts? I am SUPER SURE that behind our cold hearts showing no mercy for our neighbors, that behind all of this, it is not only the devil working overtime but also the fact that WE TRULY DO NOT TRUST IN THE POWER OF THE MERCY OF GOD!!! I say it because His mercy could do it in an instant!

Eduardo Verastegui, a very handsome Mexican young man was interviewed at this Los Angeles meeting. Most of us know about him, the one who has worked for pro-life activities forever. 15 years ago, he used to be a soap opera actor in Mexico and then moved to the U.S. and was behind a movie, Bella (2006?), that deals with saving the lives of babies. He now founded a clinic, Manto de Guadalupe Medical Center, dedicated to help mothers have their babies and placing them in adoption if so desired by the mother. He just produced another pro-life movie, “Little Boy” which will be released on April 14, 2015. It was very nice to see him again. He always brings me hope that yes, it can be done à to pass from actor to a serious worker in pro-life issues.

1:40 PM – I was led to page 636 in one of my Bibles. It was Psalm 115: 11, 12a, 13. Those who fear the Lord trust in the Lord, Who is their help and shield. The Lord remembers us and will bless us… Will bless those who fear the Lord, small and great alike.” 

One more time, it was made clear to me through the Scriptures that fearing God, that is, living in awe of His Majesty, of His tender love or mercy, will lead us to trust in Him, since many blessings will be showered unto us which will help us to trust Him more and more. In this way, we can truly say what it is written in His image of the Divine Mercy, “Jesus, I trust in You,” and mean it! I thought of how many years I had read the inscription but never understood well how to grow in this trust of Him. The two parts are complimentary: in one side, I have to enter into the mystery of His mercy for me, of His tender love and appreciate what it is, so that I can live in awe of this gift. This will lead me to be blessed, which in turn will augment my trust in Him. How simple and yet how poorly I understood it for most of my life!

7 PM: I watched LIVE from the Philippines, the Holy Father meeting the young people in Manila. Many questions were posed to him by them. I loved when he answered about the use of the Internet and said that the excessive use of the Internet, I-phone, etc. “makes them museums of information but not wiser!”

To the question of how to become a saint, he answered saying, “This is another challenge of love. What is the most important subject in life? To learn to love and not just accumulating information but through hearts that seeks such love in order to bear fruit. The language of the heart is to feel; the language of the mind is to think; the language of the hands is to do. True love is to love and to let ourselves be loved. We have to allow God to love us.  Real love is to be opened to love and the surprise it brings. If you only love, you are closed to the surprise. God likes to surprise us! Allow yourselves to be surprised and not to believe in the psychology that you know it all! Then, you cannot be surprised thinking that way.”

The answers were full of wisdom. In fact, this month’s topic for this blog seems to point to what Pope Francis said, that is, to allow God to surprise us with His tender love or mercy.

At 11 PM, the Holy Father celebrated a Mass in honor of the Divine Child in Rizal, Manila. I was surprised and happy to see the Divine Child at the center of this celebration.

Sunday, January 18

On this day, I again experienced very little pain! I knew that God was trying to tell me something, but at the time I did not know what it was… Later in the month, when there were no more days without pain, I have surmised that He has shown me how He can take it away at any time. So, if I suffer it again it is His will to be so… It must be for a much needed purification for me in order to enter into a deep understanding of His mercy for all of us. I took some Tylenol by itself and almost died of pain and severe diarrhea. There is no question that this is the part of the Vicodin that gives me problems. I still have one Vicodin, which I use between the doses of Tramadol, despite that both give me problems. I have no other alternative. So far, I have not called my primary physician, since I was asked to wait.

Monday, January 19

During the praying of the Rosary, my Mother said that it was time to call my physician to get more Vicodin. I did and she sent word that she would be willing to see me that same day in her lunch hour since there were no openings. However, there was an opening for the next day at 3:30 PM and I chose to take it in order not to bother her during her lunch.

Tuesday, January 20

I was able to get a new prescription for Vicodin from this doctor.

Wednesday, January 21

On this day, feast of Our Lady of High Grace (Nuestra Señora de la Altagracia), patroness of the Dominican Republic, I had another intra-ocular injection. The retinologist uses a drop of iodine to put in the place of the insertion of the needle for sterilization purposes. Well, I discovered that since I have been allergic to iodine forever, it is giving me a much more horrible pain like a knife entering the eye even before the needle goes in, and there is no doubt that the pain is more severe than months before. I had to drive home around noon time with both pupils dilated and severe pain in the left eye… This day was not fun at all… but I prayed that I would say yes to it from my heart! It occurred to me (and most likely moved by the Holy Spirit) to place a cold Evian water bottle on the eye for quite some time, and it must have decreased the inflammatory reaction because the pain eased up by late afternoon.

In the afternoon I was present in spirit to the Live Mass from the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, D.C., to start the night of vesper prayers prior to the walk for the next day witnessing our pro-life stance. It was then that I realized that my cross of the day would be offered to end abortion on demand and for those who are part of this industry. Of course, we all have to suffer something and offer it in atonement for this grave sin.

Thursday, January 22

I got up early to again be present in spirit to the Live Mass in Washington, D.C., closing the all night vespers prayer before the walk. I had much pain in my knees. The multitudes that came to march were astonishing, and just as astonishing was the silence from the secular media regarding this event. It always amazes me what they do! But the truth should be said: this happens over and over because we are poor witnesses… O yes, the multitudes like in the times of Jesus, are enormous; I only wonder about  the status of our hearts, those marching and us who watch them with great respect for what they do. Yet, we are not calling the attention of the secular media at all, which should be supernatural, if only we were marching or watching and bringing God’s mercy over all, the pro-life movement and the pro-choice movement. We all need a conversion of some sort much before we complain about the media. I wondered if the walk would be offered for the media as well but in silence! What would happen?

To tell you the truth and nothing but the truth, we are failures regarding the evangelization of the secular media, and I suspect, just suspect, that we lack love for them!!! Have we ever asked ourselves if we truly love the secular media? We should! They are images of God, and we should act as Jesus did with the prostitute. Are we doing that? Personally, I fail a lot about my feelings for them in cases like this, when they ignore our marches… If they report even what happens to animals that are mistreated, shouldn’t they report the pro-life marches? But yes, we ignore them as well except for resenting what they do… and Jesus would not have done that! The babies who are victims in the womb and the reporters are His kids with equal rights!

On this day while at home praying, I lived one of those moments that come a few times a month, moments when I realize how much I love my Mother in heaven, and this profound love makes me cry. She is soo real to me!

I was present in spirit at the Mass for the youth at the Verizon Center in Washington, D.C. During the Consecration, I cried out of love but this time for Jesus. I asked Him how to title this blog. He said that instead and after the Mass, to spend time discerning the readings for this Mass. (Hmm)

Jeremiah 1: 4-10how the prophet was chosen and equipped with graces for his call. I understood that often I must remember that if chosen even when not a theologian, that I will be equipped with graces to write the blogs.

Romans 12: 1-8. – To always remember that we all are ONE Body with different gifts, and that as such, I must share with others what I receive as a gift, like the writing of the blogs.  “Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us exercise them.” I must also “offer my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, my spiritual worship. I need not to be conformed to this age but transformed by the renewal of my mind, so that I can discern what the will of God is.”

Matthew 19: 16-30 – I must obey the commandments, but if I wish to be perfect, I must sell what I have and give it to the poor and then follow Him. If I give up everything like house, brothers, sister, father, mother, children or lands for the sake of His Name, I will receive a hundred times more and will inherit eternal life. O yeah, if I give up my lack of respect for the secular media for the sake of His Name, yes, I will evangelize them through the power of His mercy!!! It is that simple!

It was a very substantive teaching for this day. All the pain suffered the day before seemed necessary in order to have the time and EWTN availability, to consider how wonderful it is to be part of His Body.

Saturday, January 24

9:30 AM – This was a marvelous day and while waiting for the San Francisco Walk for Life to start, I found myself looking back at the mercy of God during my life’s spiritual itinerary. IT WAS A GIFT OF HIS MERCY! Many of these points have been shared before…

1. As a child, love for my Mother in heaven started early. I was formed in the Carmelite spirituality through the love that my maternal grandma’s family had for St. Teresa of Avila. I also remember the visit to me that St. Therese seemed to portray when I was 2 years old, by her picture falling over me and my grandmother, who was as always praying the Rosary sitting on her bed (4 AM), running to console me thinking I would wake up and cry, and yet, the picture went back to the wall. I never woke up and my grandma repeated this story to me many times!

2. Early as a child I was introduced to the Chaplet of Mercy by my grandmother. The Chaplet in Spanish arrived in my home in Costa Rica in 1944. It had the copyright from Dearborn, a suburb city of Detroit, MI… I still have this paper!!!!

3. At age 6 ½, I received the understanding that Jesus was present in the Host. At age 7 I went to live in the Convent of the Nuns of Divine Love attending St. Margaret Mary’s school, with the Sacred Heart devotion as the core of the devotion of the Nuns plus the Perpetual Adoration of Jesus in the Eucharist. It was then when I was chosen to be an assistant to the sacristan nun! For me it was another chance to be closer to Jesus after school hours.

4. In Medical School (1960’s), I was very devoted to St. John Bosco and attended the Sunday Mass in a church that had his name, even that it was quite distant from my house. I was always a very chaste student. It came to me without I truly working hard at it. Men came and left and I did not start a relationship with any of them.

5. The time came to get married in the U.S. It came suddenly and in retrospect, I can see the hand of God into this decision. I never practiced contraception, even before Humana Vitae was written

6. On May 19,1977, I was Baptized in the Holy Spirit in Ann Arbor, MI, and this started my personal relationship with the Third Person of the Holy Trinity to the present day.

7. November of 1979 – the Lord started to converse with me as a routine. I was in Costa Rica and ready to come back to the U.S., since our year in my home country was not what we expected (my husband and four sons). He came through and told me how to sell all the home appliances and a Jeep and this while living in the Pacific coast’s main city of Puntarenas. Indeed, His plan worked perfectly. All was sold and for cash! Amazing first verbal encounter with Him. We came back to the U.S. in March of 1980.

8.  During the 1980’s, I read most of the books of St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross.

9. In 1985 , I consecrated my home in Cleveland, OH, to Our Lady Queen of the Universe. The daily Rosary or Rosaries were started.

10. In 1988, my Mother started advising me as well and as Jesus had done for several years.

11. In 1992, I visited my Mother for the first time in Tepeyac, MX and was prepared according to St. Louis de Montfort for a consecration to her on November 1.

12. Also in early 1992, while staying in a hotel working in a hospital in Steubenville, OH for 9 months, I read the Diary of St. Faustina. I felt in love with God’s Divine Mercy!

13. On November 25, 1995, I was asked to write a book to be titled, “The King of Jews is the Mercy of God,” based on John 19.

Verse 19 – “Pilate also had an inscription written and put on the cross. It read, ‘Jesus the Nazorean, the King of the Jews.’ “

Verses 33-34 – “But when they (soldiers) came to Jesus and saw that He was already dead, they did not break His legs, but one soldier thrust his lance into His side, and immediately blood and water flowed out.” (His mercy flowed out as the prayer of St. Faustina says, “O Blood and Water who hushed for from the side of Jesus, have mercy on us.”)


14. On February 2, 1996, I was told that writing the book was very important.


15. In the early 1990’s I studied all the teachings of St. Francis de Sales; his “Devout Life” became my favorite and used him as my spiritual director. It was also in 1991 living in a suburb of Cleveland, OH, when I started attending a parish (and not the closest to my house) served by the Blessed Sacrament Order. They had perpetual adoration. Here I became a Holy Hour adorer.

16. I arrived in Toledo, OH in 1998, and found the Community of Saint Francis de Sales and fell at home since I knew their founder quite well by now!. From 2001 to 2008 while in Toledo, OH, I attended daily Mass and spent hundreds of hours in adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.

17. May 9, 2002 – Had a private audience with St. John Paul II.

18. November 2002 – Second visit to my Mother at Tepeyac

19. April 7, 2004 – I was told, “Finish writing the book.”


20. June 2004 – Visited Our Lady of Lourdes apparition site in France.


21. October 10, 2004, the book was finished but I could not find a publisher.


22. 2008 – I started writing blogs shortly after I arrived to California from Ohio. I did not know what a blog was. Out of the blue, I heard about it and had the inspiration to write them. My son had all the technical ability as a data base engineer to set up this site. It was done as if by magic…

THIS ENDS MY RECAPITULATION OF THE HIGHTLIGHTS OF MY SPIRITUAL WALK WITH GOD. I was tempted to eliminate this sharing but I was led to understand that this is a witness of what God’s mercy can do in our lives.

10:50 AM – Again as I waited for the start of the San Francisco Walk for Life, I was given a page in the Bible

Isaiah 10: 1-2a

“Woe to those who enact unjust statues and who write oppressive decrees, depriving the needy of judgment and robbing My people’s poor of their rights.”

Wow… I immediately thought AGAIN of all of us Americans who although do not agree with those who have enacted unjust statues and written oppressive decrees like it happened in 1973, but we have not converted ourselves enough to secure God’s mercy to end this destruction of the babies and the beginning of using euthanasia to end life at the other end of the age spectrum. And yes, the war by terrorists is part of our allowing this to happen. If our Catholic faith were what it is supposed to be as Baptized Christians who are fed the Body and Soul of Jesus, God’s mercy through us and the help of the intercession of Our Lady, would have ended this massacre and saved many souls of the perpetrators.

 Monday, January 26

10:20 AM. After calling the Holy Spirit, I asked my Mother what I was supposed to do? (I meant how to resolve the allergy to Tramadol and the allergy to Tylenol, which is part of Vicodin à Hydrocodone plus 325 mg of Tylenol – plus the need of new eye glasses that can work for both, reading and seeing at a distance)

She said, “Always call for God’s mercy for each moment of your life! And expect help!!! Calling His mercy but without the certitude of His tender love coming to help you right and there, is not trusting in His mercy. Never forget that through God’s mercy you can change the entire world, but He expects you to trust that it can be so! Also, always have in mind that the present circumstances of the world that surrounds you, demands of you a constant alertness to call for God’s mercy for your brothers and sisters.”

(I suddenly remembered that in the early news for this day, they reported that 80% of 10 year olds have already been on a diet, because being super thin is the “cool” thing to do! Cheating and lying about everything is also the norm. I also thought that all TV commercials have a lie somewhere behind them.)

Our Lady continued, “Bring the mercy of God to the core of your spiritual life and tell others what the ‘work of mercy’ is all about! Tell them what His ‘tender love’ can do and have done for you. Ask for God’s mercy to heal your body but at the same time, ask Jesus in His Divine Infancy to give you the gift of truly trusting that His mercy can do so and never fear anything else!  Again, when you ask for His mercy, do not do it doubting that it may not happen! If you find yourself doubting, it is then when you pray to the Child Jesus to substitute your fears with TOTAL TRUST that yes, God’s mercy will solve every problem with your health and very soon, in His time, but soon in order to stop the stress in your body, because you are needed to work for the Kingdom.

“One more time, when you say, ‘Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner,’ say it with the conviction that His mercy will take over. If you cannot have such trust, ASK THE DIVINE CHILD to give it to you. Remember, that saying the Chaplet of Mercy once per day and worrying the rest of the day IT IS NOT TO BE DEVOTED TO HIS MERCY! Praying the Chaplet is a formal prayer but one that should come from a heart that is convinced of the power behind His mercy, that is, à His most tender love for you and the entire world. You are not finding a solution to many personal problems and less to the problems of this society that is confused, divided, lied to, etc by the evil one, by the world and the flesh of many who seek power, money and possessions; you do not get solutions for them because you pray but not totally convinced of the power that you have through His mercy… If you trusted, you would pray the chaplet and feel that all is in His hands and that He will bring resolution to everything for His glory and the good of all His children, your brothers and sisters and it will happen.”

I was left in total awe as I realized that I had never understood how His mercy works… Yes, Jesus Himself asked St. Faustina to write at the bottom of His image “Jesus, I trust in You.” Yet, I had no idea that each one of us must ask for His mercy but trusting that He will respond with answers for His glory and our good… So, part of my problem with my immune system and so many allergies, even to the pain medication that makes me feel terrible discomfort in my knees and left ankle, is that I lack the wisdom and understanding of how much God loves me. God is awesome and this awesomeness means what we call “fear of God.” He can resolve everything, but needs our faith to trust in Him…  

I must report that my problems with allergy to Tramadol plus to the Tylenol in Vicodin, has left me unable to go to daily Mass… I am considering that most likely I will have to get up very early to have a full breakfast and take some Tramadol. This does not allow the Tramadol to be absorbed fast… like it would happen with an empty stomach before Mass. I noticed that doing it this way works very well… and yes, I get pain from the Tramadol but not as severe, and then in about 2 hours, the action of this analgesic starts working even against the pain it produces… I know God has allowed this cross around me for a purpose… Now I have a much clearer picture of what I am lacking. God simply loves me a lot and I still do not comprehend it despite so many blessings on His part!


Wednesday, January 28


I had an appointment with my new ophthalmologist in the city of San Leandro, 40 minutes by car south of here but only if the freeways were empty…  My son had to drive me there and he uses a google-GPS/I-phone instruction and it is fun but if I had the same gadget in my car, I could not read so many names of streets with my bad eye… and make the right turns… My trip to see this Dr. Batra was amazing…  I needed from him three things:


1) The actual reason for this visit 6 months after my first one, was to decide if I should have cataract surgery or not. There is a small chance that it would go bad and it could ruin my good eye… I told him that no, that I would not take that chance. My retinologist recommended not doing it as well.

 2) I needed him to fill out a form to present to the Department of Motor Vehicles to renew my driver’s license before early March. For this he would have to do some special tests since the form is very complicated.


3) I also needed to order another set of glasses since set no. 1 of a year ago, although re-done at the time, only helps me to read and not to see long distance even that they are supposed to do both. The second set of only 4 months ago from an optometrist, only allows me to see far away. Yet, I cannot read well with them and they are supposed to do both. That is the one that one lens is!!  Of course, I had no idea if all of this could be done at the same visit and because I need help driving there, I hoped that it would be done. By this late January, I prayed the Rosary before departing and also asked for God’s mercy but in a new way: with total trust that the entire visit would be under His tender love for me and the doctor and his staff as well.


And yes, everything was done to perfection plus I was treated as a queen… In fact, I could not believe what was going on. I will share the following story but be sure to realize that there is no pride involved on my part. It will only prove how God is in charge of every minute detail of our lives as He prepare us for the call He has for each one of us.


When I was sitting choosing the frame for the new glasses, a lady passed behind me and stopped and told me how beautiful my hair was… I commented to the employee who was helping me that this was like the 20th time in the last few months that people has passed by, mostly women but a few men also, and have commented about the beauty of my hair. I was surprised that she was able to explain why… This color, somewhat red by my mistake and I had reported it before, that my bad eye made me choose the box of hair tint with the No. 20 that I always use, but now some of the boxes had added the letter “R”… I did not see it and ended up with reddish hair. The girl said to me: “This is a color of hair that most women like but they cannot get it…” When I told her that I do it at home and not in a beauty parlor, she opened her mouth wide… She could not believe it! A little later, I realized that this had been a trick from my Lord… He wants His ambassadors to look good, as they teach to others important things for their health (e.g.: reversal of dementia, how to prevent depressions, etc.). In this world of fashion and superfluous looks, it is important to look a little like the rest… With many pounds recently lost and wearing expensive clothes, especially sweaters, that now I can fit in again but were bought some 25 years ago when I was super rich, my hair was part of the good looks to speak about Him… and of course, using health issues as the fishing net!!! Only He can do it and guide us to do so! I would have never thought about this way of becoming a nice “evangelizer” and using a fishing net with very important health tips narrated by someone with an MD degree! Living with Him, through Him and for Him is simply a lot of fun!


Thursday, January 29


I had been a little concerned about finishing this blog. I had much material ready from the beginning of the month but with the pain medication that tends to make me sleepier, or having much pain that requires that I sit down and endure it, I have been behind in posting it. I keep forgetting that He allows these delays because He wants me to live something else and report it here! And today, I had to go to Harvest Food store in the city of Concord, where I buy many of my supplements and frozen food items (10% discount because I get this discount if in my previous trip I buy more than $50), and special frozen turkey balls that my son loves… And so, my Lord did even more weird things and I left the place in awe!!!!


I was going to use the previous receipt when I bought more than $50 in order to get the 10% discount. I bought a few frozen food items and some vita-nutrients or supplements. As I looked for the supplements, one of the employees was working right in the area. So, I used her expertise to find for me 5 different supplements and she did help me and I did not waste much time looking for them. Out of the blue, an old lady came to me, a customer, and gave me a discount coupon for 25%. She left immediately and I had no chance to ask her why she was doing it?… When I went to pay, I learned that supplements do not get the 10% discount, only food items… So, the 25% coupon was applied to the supplements!!!


I then inquired about how to get this coupon? The cashier, Georgianna, wrote for me how the first Tuesday of the month I can go to the Internet and print the coupon. I never knew that in the 6+ years that I have been a client of this store! When I left, the main door was near to this cashier and she stopped what she was doing for the next client, and came to open the door for me!!! How can I not suffer this pain in  my knees if He, my God and my old, my beginning and my end, as I tell Him over and over in days like today, wants to show me how much He loves me… I had to be in that store at a specific time, of course, all timed after I had breakfast with much fiber and the Tramadol and to wait for 2 hours to start my driving to this store. And there she was, an old lady who chose me to receive the coupon in order for me to learn how to get these coupons and when and what they can be applied to, so that I can use them on a regular basis…


It became more obvious than ever, that this pain needs to be offered in atonement for the sins of so many images of God whose work is to kill other human beings, and to ask for His mercy over them… Otherwise, I would be comfortable taking medication for the pain caused by a very active immune system, and I would not remember at all how Satan is working in the souls of these children of God…Also, if we are ONE BODY in Christ, I have to keep that in mind every day of my life, and do what I can to save those souls. I have to remember that I am a full time worker for the Kingdom, and not just a part time one… And the action of the lady who gave me the coupon was an example of living as a member of this Body. Amazing! God directed her to me to enlighten me with this truth. She could have kept the coupon which apparently she had no use for.


Now I have no doubt that I have been delayed in finishing this blog because I had to share with you His love for me… Many times, after something like this, and two days in a row, I end up crying… How poor of a daughter I have been… If only I had worked with Him hand in hand for the good of His children! Yet, most of the time, I am seeking my good first and foremost, and rarely I realize that my work is for others first because He goes overboard treating me as His friend, not His slave…


Satan is furious with me… and no doubt about it. Early this month and as I mentioned before, my Mother said that this blog would be very special, even before I knew what the subject would be. She also asked me that every time I sit to write, to pray a Hail Mary and call the Holy Spirit, in order to clearly follow the Spirit’s guidance, since Satan will be very active around me. And sure enough, something happened that gives me a hint of his influence. Yesterday I ordered via Internet at a Walgreen’s Pharmacy, a refill of Tramadol. I still have to take it because I do not do well with just small doses of Vicodin as explained before. It was supposed to be ready by today at 10 AM. Well, late this day I checked the Walgreen’s site and it said that they were having problems filling it out, unless I checked with the doctor or the insurance company… However, they did not send me any of this information via Internet and something that this store has done before.


I wrote in my journal, “Tomorrow, Friday, January 30, I will have to go and show the pharmacist the list of foods and other chemicals to which I am allergic to, so that they know why I have so much pain, plus I will tell the pharmacist that I am physician and that I never have been addicted to anything… Also, I will take the bottle of Vicodin and show him/her how I have hardly used it, due to my severe reaction to the Tylenol part. I will have to be dressed with much patience and mercy for these people. I only have left 4 Tramadol tablets … We shall see and will report it before I post the blog since I am still behind in finishing it.”


Friday, January 30


At 9 AM I was at the pharmacy and well advised by the Lord to be super merciful with the pharmacist!!! Of course, I was a little mad! It was not her business to stop filling out this prescription just because I was taking another narcotic as well. I took the tests done on June 2014 with the list allergies to 70 different foods… plus other chemicals and supplements. I found the window where one talks to the pharmacist with no other customer waiting. The young lady pharmacist came shortly after and I introduced myself as a retired physician and explained to her why I needed the Tramadol even that I am allergic to it. I said to her that the allergy to Tramadol means much pain, but the allergy to Vicodin because of the Tylenol, means pain and diarrhea. Yes, I had to make a point, but I had to do it without any anger! So, when I entered the pharmacy, I kept calling for His mercy for me and the pharmacist. A couple of times, I was reminded that I had fear…! Therefore, I was not truly trusting in His mercy even as I asked for it! I quickly repented and asked for help not to feel this way.


The entire encounter was easy. She confessed that they have to be very careful in filling narcotic prescriptions and addressed me as doctor… (It is interesting but in many places, even that they know I am a physician, because of age and gender, they still call me Mrs. or Ms. G.) I almost said that there is no law that prohibits them from filling out what a doctor has ordered. Of course, I could see Satan bugging them with suspicion and the wrong ideas. The pharmacist was very nice and she wrote in their computer page with my account, how I take these medications (not all together) and why. She said she would promptly fill out the prescription. I told her that I had to visit Walnut Creek (to shop at the organic food store) and that I would pass by to pick it up when returning home. When I was just starting my shopping at the organic store, the phone was ringing with confirmation that the prescription was ready to pick up! This was one more major confirmation as to how His mercy works…!!!


To some extent I will repeat some of the themes discussed above. Please bear with me.


In the XX C, God sent us two formidable Saints, a Nun and a Pope to emphasize His mercy like never done in the history of the Church. As a Catholic Church, many of us have embraced this topic with open arms.


In the other hand, EWTN came into existence as St. John Paul II was elected Pope and it has been the means to introduce the entire world to the life of St. Faustina Kowalska and also to the Chaplet of Mercy. Notice how God had everything so well planned.

It is obvious that God wanted a Pope from Poland who knew St. Faustina very well, and who would canonize her. But the Lord did not simply elect St. John Paul II right from the beginning. He first led the College of Cardinals to elect a wonderful Pope who only lived for one month, St. John Paul I. This was a huge sign for us… although we did not know about it at the time. Also, this was not due to the Cardinal electors choosing the wrong Pope. Nah! And simply because the Holy Spirit would not allow such thing! This happened in order to call our attention to His mercy because without St. John Paul II, we would have never acquired such a deep knowledge of this nun, now St. Faustina Kowalska and of the theme of God’s mercy in general. He also wrote an encyclical about it. The diary of St. Faustina is a wonderful document of God and His mercy. Jesus asked for a painting of Him as the Jesus of Mercy and wanted the inscription below to read, “Jesus I trust in You.” Again, another major hint as to what He was asking of us, to TRUST IN HIM, who is mercy Himself… And of course, He was asking to believe in His mercy once and for all… Just think if that image did not have the inscription… Also, the image had Blood and Water coming out of his chest. Our right brains would be imprinted with the words that He taught St. Faustina. He wanted us to believe in His mercy but with no fear… Again, as my Lord told me many years ago, “Trust = faith without fear!” In other words, we can have faith but mixed with fear… and this does not trust His mercy at all.


After St. Faustina died in 1938, Word War II came to be. Many other smaller and regional wars came plus the recurrent and greatest of all wars, TERRORISM. Also, the Bible, Old and New Testaments, is full of verses regarding His mercy! Yet, we cannot stop the hatred among human beings. Truth has become relative. For most, “truth is what helps me.” An entire Concilium, Vatican II’s interpretation became confused by our own Catholic members! Satan came with fury, as prophesied at the end of the XIX C, and as experienced with Hitler and company! Yet, we did not act and defeated him, even that we could have, especially after the gift from the messages for world peace of Our Lady at Fatima of 1917. Worse, then and now we talk about God’s mercy but as another devotion! In the mean time, books are published by the hundreds with all the things we should do and what not to do to grow in holiness! It is obvious to me that no lay person could read so much and memorize it, and less could try it with his/her power. This is next to impossible. Yet, as Jesus said, “For God everything is possible” and one way to grow in our conversion is to ask for His mercy but trusting that He can do lead us to conquer the world and win all these wars, especially the ones that terrorists seem to impose on us, and yes, we could become saints!


Something else: we seem to ignore the fact that it is God who will take care of taking us to live saintly lives, if we only do what our Mother in heaven did, that is, to say “yes” to everything that He allows in our lives, this being the most important practice of trusting in His love for us. Do you want to trust Jesus? Well, “do what He tells you to do,” as our Mom commanded us, and one of the most important messages that He left us was for us to obey the will of the Father, as He did in order to show us its importance, that even death would not get in the way of His obedience to His Father.  It was precisely this yes from a lay person (Our Lady) that incarnated Mercy Himself… THE HINT IS SOO CLEAR! Yet, we keep calling for God’s mercy as a concept, as a devotion and always begging for help because we really do not trust Jesus’ love for us, and for that matter, the Holy Trinity’s love for each one of us. Are we crazy by ignoring His love, His most “tender” love?


Today, I solemnly invite you, my lay reader, to ask the Divine Child Jesus to give you all the gifts of the Holy Spirit necessary to be able to enter into the mystery of His immense love for you as if you were His only child. And every time that you ask for His mercy, like when you pray the Chaplet of Mercy or when you simply say, “Jesus have mercy on me, a sinner,” believe that a river of His mercy will flow into your mind, heart, soul, an act as His most tender love for you, but one that will bring a desire to say “yes” to His will like never before. Then, sit down and watch what will happen. Remember to keep the Rosary in your hands and say it often just to stop Satan who will hate all of His love coming to you. You will find out that your spiritual life at whatever stage you are at, will take off and you will see your crosses as instruments of grace, which will lead you to conform your will to His as a matter of fact.


And I must remind you AGAIN, what His mercy is all about: it is rahamin in Hebrew, which means the tender love that the mother has for the baby in her womb. If you happen to be a man, it will be hard to comprehend this feeling; for us mothers is easier, since we live 9 months with this little body growing within us, and his/her companionship becomes a very special sweet relationship which is very hard to describe. The mother becomes “mercy” for the baby, and this is exactly what God does with us… Your own blood carries nourishment for the tiny body that you house within, just as His Body, Soul and Divinity feed us. Our own normal temperature and metabolism keeps the baby with the perfect temperature and comfortable surroundings, just as the Church He founded does for us. She is the mother of this ONE BODY in Christ, whose womb feeds and houses us. And all of these perfect scenarios are the product of His tender love for us, His mercy.


His mercy is the force that forms you and me into the persons that He meant us to be from all eternity. Again, and again and again, His mercy is not a devotion. His mercy is not repeating words like a parrot would do. I am very sorry that I sound so preachy! Yet, the Lord has done the same for me in the last month and called me to truly understand what He can do as a mother would do for her baby in her womb.


The Lord needs us accepting a daily conversion, since we are in a very precarious form of living for the entire world. The famous SUPER BOWL will be played today. Tickets are going for $9,000 each (cheapest) to the most expensive, $35,000… This absurdity classifies us as totally confused and divided in regards to our worth as children of God. There is almost nothing wrong with this sport (except for its violence and now cheating associated as good because it wins games). What it is wrong is the demonic attachment to the frivolity that goes with spending so much money to see a ball reach the other end of the field by hitting the opposing team players, while many people in this country have nothing to eat and no place to sleep!  To make matters more demonic, this gathering of thousands will have a very active prostitute ring renting young girls to any men during this weekend. The news said that about 100,000 children in the U.S. are forced to give themselves to these lewd acts. Woe to us if we do not do something about it! We need to have the faith that moves mountains in order to have God’s mercy end these horrific scenarios. And for that, we need to allow God to love us and we do it by getting up every day ready to say yes to His will FOR THAT DAY, and ready to be instruments of evangelization, but agents who are so merciful because they asks God’s mercy in order to love even those who actually persecute us or the Church in different scenarios.

Why not test His tender love for us and change our lives for His glory?  We do not have to be perfect. We only need to be faithful to His call as His children and work at saying yes to His will as our Mama did! Amen!


(I addressed the previous conclusion remarks to lay people, since the Ministerial Priesthood by reason of their long formation has been prepared to understand what mercy is and they most likely are the ones who should lead us in this battle of God’s mercy against evil forces for these end times!)


P.S.: I sense that there is much prayer being said for me coming from some of the readers and as I had asked you to do. Thank you so much! May you be blessed for this merciful act for me. You are included in every community Rosary that I pray daily.  And I have given enough examples of how I become harassed by the world and Satan, and such prayers are instrumental to be able to write these blogs! Thank you, thank you again and muchas gracias!

I have a very special request:


I. I have to renew my driver’s license before March 2. I will have my new eye glasses on February 20 and I will make an appointment with the California Department of Vehicles (DMV) between these two dates which I hope I will do today after I post this blog. However, due the recent immigration law with the President’ executive order, they are saying that this department has no appointments available for some time since 5 million undocumented migrants are seeking a driver’s license!  


1. I need to pass a driving test only. Two years ago, I underwent Calvary with the so called instructors of this department who acted almost like demons. Suffering will not be the problem. I only need for them to be nice and that Satan does not get in the way for the test, and to agree to renew my license despite the problems of my left eye, which are not worse than they were in 2013


2. I need to get an appointment before March 2. Otherwise I will not be able to drive for a long time…


II. I need to find a way to be able to get to daily 8 AM Mass. It is soo difficult to miss my daily encounter with this God/Man!


Therefore, I am requesting your protection through prayer. Thank you very much. You have no idea what such protection means to me… especially with the devil being so interested in my life affairs!