This blog turned to be very long… Sorry! I will give you some idea of the topics for you to see if you want to proceed and read it all.
2. Different stories according to the calendar
3. Review of resolutions made for the years 2010, 2012, 2013 and 2014 sharing those kept and those not.
4. My resolutions for 2015
For this month, the last one of 2014, I was given the topic very early! I needed to identify what should I do to improve my discipleship because my relationship with Jesus can only grow if I improve my spiritual life as a disciple and as defined by Jesus Himself. Soon after, I found myself inquiring what my resolutions from previous years had been… After all, we can keep making resolutions as a hobby for the coming year because we may mot have a true desire to keep them, or do it out of habit. Ouch in both instances! I then went to those blogs from every December and found out that I had posted my year end resolutions except for 2009 (I had just started with this blog) and for 2011. I read them and I was astonished at the amount of material I found. Remember, when I write these blogs, I write only what under heavy prayer to the Holy Spirit and a serious desire to do God’s will, it is given to me. I found a treasure of ideas to be examined and to re-structure the ones for 2015, based on what I had not kept from previous years.
I realized that these resolutions were kept as long as I was faithful as a disciple who seeks to be interested in following Jesus the best I could by keeping the Commandments and His counsel on discipleship. In other words, I figured out that I was writing these things as a call to my Lord to help me grow in those areas, and for this to happen, I needed 1) to live in the present moment loving God (doing His will faithfully and cheerfully regardless of the crosses in my life), 2) loving neighbor at all cost, 3) praying daily for myself to change regarding the quality of love for them, and finally, 4) being obedient to the Commandments as best as I could. Apparently, this attitude and practice would take my resolutions to His Throne of Mercy to receive the grace to keep them as He wished me to do it! So simple! My resolutions are never to be understood as what I want to do in spiritual terms for the next year hoping that I can do it, or worrying if I could… Nah… I write them from the bottom of my heart under the Spirit’s guidance and then, live a day at a time, trusting in His plan for me to be developed as I cooperate with my “yes” to His will, with my love for brothers and sisters where they are at, and not where I want them to be, and doing my best to comply with the Commandments… PERIOD!!!
So, I will share first some of the highlights of the month of December and proceed to write some of the highlights of my previous resolutions for 2010, 2012, 2013, 2014, and take a peek at them to see if I have kept them at all… and if I did not, it will reflect over my lack of overall discipleship. I will let you know how I have done with those past resolutions with messages written with green ink…
But first let me write here as an introduction to his message, what I found that always moved my soul and very deeply…That is, His call to me to follow Him and to share how I try to comply with such call.
From blog of December 2008
The Summons (lyrics of a well known song)
“Will you come and follow Me, if I but call your name?
Will you go where you don’t know and never be the same?
Will you let My love be shown; will you let My Name be known?
Will you let My life be grown in you and you in Me?
Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name?
Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same?
Will you risk the hostile stare, should your life attract or scare?
Will you let Me answer prayer in you and you in Me?
Will you let the blinded see if I but call your name?
Will you set the prisoners free and never be the same?
Will you kiss the leper clean, and do such as this unseen,
And admit to what I mean in you and you in Me?
Will you love the ‘you’ you hide, if I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same?
Will you use the faith you’ve found to reshape the world around,
Through My sight and touch and sound in you and you in Me?
(Will you answer as follows?)
Lord, your summons echoes true when You but call my name.
Let me turn and follow You and never be the same.
In your company I’ll go where Your Love and footsteps show.
Thus, I’ll move and live and grow in You and You in me.
II. STORIES OF IMPORTANT EVENTS FOR THE MONTH OF DECEMBER 2014
Wednesday, December 3.
I had another intra-ocular injection by the retinologist and as always, I enjoyed his way of treating me, besides being a wonderful doctor. I was told that probably my problem in this eye could not be totally resolved. However for the mean time, he wants to continue these injections. I have a much clear vision compared with when I started them. I wonder what my God will be doing for this eye… After all, I need the best vision possible to conclude my book and write the monthly blog.
However, in his office I had a major visitation from my Lord. When I arrived, I sat next to a young mother (35) and her almost three year old girl (her third birthday will be on January 2015). Megan was adorable and very well behaved. Well, extremely well behaved I would say for her age! This child was infected with some bacteria as a one year old and partially lost her vision. Her retina detached in one eye and my doctor tried to attach it in a very long surgery of several hours. Her mother said that she was sedated. Of course, she was not sedated. She was put to sleep with general anesthesia because you cannot do such surgery with just sedation. She has been hospitalized many more times and has suffered as Jesus suffered in the Cross. I remembered my 6 grand children and how little I thank God for their health… Then I thought of this mother who has suffered so much as well. I realized that many of us go through to life without paying attention at our good fortune in many areas, and the health of family members we hardly remember… Ouch! My health problems compared to this beautiful child’s poor vision are nothing. I had a clear understanding that I must embrace my little cross with great gusto and thank God that is my eye and not the eye of one of my family members, especially the young ones. Also, that my problems started in 2006… as an old woman, but the worse of all is that I never thanked God for my eyesight. Have you done so?
Thursday, December 4
In a recent TV program of this Dr. Mehmet Oz, Valerie Harper, a very well known TV sitcom actress, came to tell her story of having being diagnosed with lung cancer in 2011 with the prognosis of death within 3 months. She already had metastasis to her brain. Well, this was the end of 2014 and she is cured! She used “imagery” or the power of the brain to heal everything due its plasticity. Using images of healing through the right brain, the healing occurs. Yes, cancer is curable… This was one more case that I know of. Yet, many are told that they would die and not given this information. Never forget this story. If you have terminal cancer and you do not want to die, ask the Lord if it is O.K to use imagery or use it and have Him say the last word. The Internet is full of information about how to do it.
Monday, December 8
I attended Mass and made my Consecration to Our Lady and consecrated some others like family members and parishioners including the Pastor.
Thursday, December 11.
Rain was still pouring all over California. On this particular day, there was a major storm on top of just the rain and much material damage came to be. Trees would fall and destroy everything in their path. I found myself, after praying the Rosary at home, receiving the following teaching.
1. What is self denial? When your feelings and desires coincide with the will of God, and you know it because you are joyful and even more, very happy. This is the kind of happiness expected even when the will of God is a cross for us. Our yes should be just as full of happiness! This is self denial at its best.
2. Also, when our will and God’s will are the same and we feel such happiness, we should not start planning what we will do next. Our work is to live in self-denial of pros and cons. In His mercy, He will give us all the gifts of the Holy Spirit to proceed into the future of our work for the Kingdom and for our own personal life. Let Him guide us and this happens much easier if we live this total self-denial.
3. Another aspect of self-denial is to recognize that any fear it not from God. Fear is the product of not trusting in His Mercy. So, any fear must be repudiated in word. Yet, only God can give us the power through the Holy Spirit (the wisdom, courage, knowledge, understanding and love for God and neighbor) to get rid of it. It is obvious then, that when we are fearful, we must place a call to the Holy Spirit, asking the Father in the Name of Jesus to win this battle that is from my flesh, the world or Satan. By doing this, our fear becomes faith but the one that move mountains. (It has happened to me many times).
4. All acts of self-denial will lead us to a perfect embrace of our crosses. It prepares the way to comply with this mandate of discipleship, and both become the core of our formation to be able to follow Jesus.
What following Jesus is not: trying to follow the commandments, especially to love God and neighbor BUT according to our plans and desires, and to call this having a relationship with Christ or to know Him! No work of our own, which is not totally based on self-denial with the pinnacle of all self-denial being our yes to all our crosses, could give us the light of the Holy Spirit to establish a true relationship with Jesus.
5. A true friendship with God the Son has to be based on our total indifference to our own will! This is what is best modeled by another human being, the Mother of God the Son.
6. True following of Jesus comes when we drop all our plans to go to the right or the left (that is God’s job, so says the Word of God (Isaiah 30:21), and in this way, with total trust in His love and mercy for us; then we can say that we are following Him, because He did so.
7. The true following of Jesus comes when the sins of others do not become a source of temptation to remember, recant or resent, because Jesus never did such thing all the way to His death at Calvary! In fact, in the last moments of His earthly life, he asked His Father to forgive those who had persecuted Him.
8. Following Jesus means 1) to give Him100% control of our lives or said in other words, 2) when we live under the firm belief that our true happiness on this earth comes from not having any attachments, fears of desires except to do God’s will. And all of this 3) depends on our desire to truly lack control of our body and soul, 4) but while asking the Holy Spirit to do that job for us, expecting to be blessed with total trust in God’s love for us, which it is the same to say that we are opening our soul and mind to His mercy! This sounds super repetitious and it is… Yet, it needs to be repeated as a form of re-wiring of our brains to remember what it is to live with Him, for Him, in Him and through Him. There is no other magic formula!
One more repetition: His mercy is eternal and 100% available. Our receiving it depends on our relationship with God, which depends as said before, with our humble acceptance that we cannot do too much but to say yes to all things, giving Him total control of our bodies, minds and souls.
Although this is a continuous repetition, the core of the subject matter is that we are not forced to understand it as much as to accept it as His love for us, and in this way, knowing that He is in charge and we are just His disciples.
Late at night, the Hispanic channel showed the millions of people walking through the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe. Some had walked for three days from Toluca, 90 miles away!
Friday, December 12.
I could not go to Mass… I had much pain in my knees and still the routing to my church was still with much wetness from the day before; however, I had a ball of festivities to part of. You should be the judge.
12 AM: I had a Live Mass from Los Angeles, in the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels… Well, this was my city when I entered this country at age 17. I was housed in a beautiful town called Manhattan Beach, a suburb of this great city. I still have one of my high school classmates as a friend. She lives in Washington State… And of course, on those days as of now, my baptismal names are very Catholic followed by “of Los Angeles (in English, of the Angels), and all because our patroness in Costa Rica is Our Lady Queen of Angels. So, I was very happy to be Live in Los Angeles at least in spirit.
1 AM: Live Mass from Tepeyac, MX.
9 AM: Pope Francis from Rome
During the Mass in Rome, I wrote in Spanish, “I want to give you my life Lord for Your Church. I ask You to give me much love for the Church, and without paying much attention to the sins of those within her or from resenting them.”
10:30 AM – I wrote: “Even in religious programs (one of these instances had just being aired), many people are constantly wondering what will be of the legacy of this Pope with so many reforms. Yet, this is a wrong idea! We cannot question the work of the Holy Spirit. Personally I rather should think of two things: 1) how much am I praying for the Papacy and not out of fear but out of love for the Church, since God is the ultimate word for the Church He founded. 2) And if I say FIAT to all what God wants of me, how can I doubt what this Pope’s legacy is or of any other Pope from here on? My personal view is the he seems to be right on the money with his reforms, and I feel lucky to have lived long enough to see them. I have been told many times by my Lord that one of my major sufferings would be not my health problems and old age, but living with the scandals of the Church and not much being recognized or changed. He has called me to have much patience, to offer my crosses for the Church and to ask Him for the grace not to resent them…
Later on, I was still heavily contaminated with the miracle of Tepeyac, which is still going on since 1531, when millions of people (estimated to be 8,000,000 in 2014) came to see the Mother of God whose image was not painted on this earth! Wow! This happened 483 ago and we doubt about the legacy of this Pope? Is God in charge or not?
But on this day, the celebration of my Mother’s feast was not over. At 9 PM, a Telethon started in the U.S. by Hispanics with singers and important people of the community appearing in San Antonio, TX, Miami, FL, New York, NY and Los Angeles, CA. This Telethon would last for 30 hours to get funds to establish centers of rehabilitation for children and young adults with cerebral palsy, any form of mental retardation and autism. They already have one in San Antonio and they want another in Miami.
This is when I remembered that I had been told that at the time of the birth of my third son (the theologian), that most likely he would be a retarded human being… Also, on this day I FINALLY REALIZED my stupidity. I have never thanked God but almost daily and big time for this son being so intelligent, a great writer of religious topics and basically a very holy man with a wonderful Canadian wife and four extraordinary children, well behaved and all very religious! I could see myself among the parents that appeared in this Telethon telling their story. All the disable patients with their nervous system anomalies had changed enormously after receiving adequate rehabilitation. Many of them were asking for money for this cause even with great difficulty in talking and while sitting in wheel chairs.
Saturday, December 13.
The Telethon continued and I realized that I had to watch as much as possible to wire my brain with the pain of many human beings in the world. I also understood how many of us, and I being the first, do not pay attention to our blessings that come in so many ways. And any of us can be part of those with disabilities just by having a car accident or having our brain vessels rupture and experience a stroke. We go through life listless and only engaged in what we like and in what give us fun and entertainment. And FINALLY I SAW something bigger: Are we not suffering from spiritual disabilities – tied up to spiritual wheel chairs that make us unable to understand much, know much, and basically blind, mute and hard of hearing in what regards to God and His mercy?
At 1:25 PM, a mother came to tell her story. She had a baby son and at 2 weeks of age he was found to be paralyzed and blind and with a very poor prognosis. His respirations were assisted by machines. At birth, the mother was asked if she would allow them to disconnect the baby from these machines. She said “no” three times and under pressure. Now at age 9, the mother cannot tell if he is in pain or what he needs. She has to carefully watch his gestures and movement of hands in order to guess what he needs. Therefore, he needs 24 hour care! He needs to be attached to a special machine to clear his lungs. The machine makes too much noise especially at night, so she decided to fall in love with the noise and asked God for His help! She has two other younger daughters and of course, she needs to rest. I began to have major pain in my knees and her story brought me to the realization that I had to fall in love with my pain and say a big yes to it!
While the Telethon went on, I wrote in my journal: “No doubt that this world is gone in terms of love and peace. Violence is daily news all over the world and in this country. I felt led to make a list of my blessings, in order to feel the shame of my lack of thanksgiving to my God.
1. To know Him as alive in the Host since age 6.5. This blessing should have been enough! And to have had a very religious grandmother who instilled in me great love for Our Lady.
2. Then, I learned English as a teenager coming from a rather poor Central American country despite that I had not been chosen to begin with, and this led me to come and live most of my life in the U.S.
3. Also, a doctorate in medicine was given to me at no cost at all!
4. The latter formation in the sciences became a super blessing in order to work on my dementia and reversal and learning how to prevent a cause for depressions. Both items are simply a huge gift from God.
5. Having four wonderful sons, two of which married magnificent women. They never gave me any problems as teens. My home was a peaceful one regarding these boys.
6. Being able to meet face to face and shake hands with a saint: John Paul II
7. Given the grace and out of the blue to converse with Jesus since November of 1979 and with my Mother Mary since 1988.
In all, this is the best proof that God has a plan for each one of us! I have zero doubts about it… This plan is always 100% perfect, but it requires that we keep the yes to His will in our lips, mind and heart in order to be formed to serve Him in this life, and to enjoy eternal life of joy and happiness. (End of the writing in my journal)
Sunday, December 14
I went to Mass and asked pardon for not having thanked Him enough for my third son’s protection from suffering any disability and for all his blessings. I realized during the Mass that the GREATEST NEED I HAVE FOR MY SPIRITULA GROWTH is to constantly work on my total and radical abandonment to His Providence with indifference to all else, the good and the bad and in between! It was then that the idea of checking on my past New Year resolutions came to my understanding. I then thought, “Of what benefit is it to write any resolutions if at the end of the year, they have not been kept at least to a certain point?”
Monday December 15.
It was raining too much and with my poor left eye sight, I did not want to expose myself to an accident. I wrote the Christmas letter which I had stopped in the last two years because of health reasons. In the afternoon, the rain was much less and I was sent to the post office since I needed stamps. The line required to stand for some 15 minutes. An older man (later I learned that he was 73 y/o) opened the door for me in this tiny branch of the main post office, but very near to my home. I asked him if anyone in his family had had dementia. “Yes,” he said, “My mother has it and I am starting to have memory difficulties.” I was able to give him his Christmas gift: the news that memory loss is reversible. He was super happy. I told him that I was in the last stages of writing my book on the subject matter and how I did detoxify and recovered it. He was sooo happy. As I left, I knew that I had been summoned to this place and just after this man entered to be next to him in order to pass on this gift. This God of ours is too merciful!
I had ordered my medications for pain and thyroid and my pharmacy also let me know that I was eligible to re-order Lisinopril for blood pressure. My present doctor has ordered it for three months at a time and several refills. Well, the pharmacy ended up saying that I had to contact my doctor because I could not reorder this medication! So, I had to call Walgreen’s and asked what the problem was. The pharmacy technician would speak very fast. Several times I asked him to speak slower and he did not!!! Again, I was getting furious! I identified myself as a physician… and not a dummy and gave him a little explanation of how my primary physician had faxed a form that the health insurance company requested for her to prove to them that yes, I needed three tablets a day, so that they could pay for the three pills per day, and not just for two of them…
This is a beautiful example of the wars we live in our America. And I was ordering at the right time and in 2014, and the new guidelines are for 2015. This health insurance company should be very happy that I only take three medications. There are many older people who take more than 10 per day! Finally, the man gave in and said, “O.K, O.K, shortly you will have your medication ready for pick up.” I use this pharmacy because they are opened 24 hrs. /day and also they have a window for cars to approach the pharmacy and pick up the prescription without getting out of the car… A great gift for me and my pain. Yet, these are the wars that Satan loves to place in our lives, tempting others to mistreat us, maybe because of our age or ancestry or gender? Who knows! But the truth is that we have to love all people regardless, and one resolution for 2015, should be to be vigilant against these attacks, since any resentment makes me disobedient to God’s will that we should love each other at all cost!
Thursday, December 18.
I had to go to a CVS Pharmacy to buy the probiotic VSL #3. There were not client’s waiting behind me and I was able to give to the pharmacy technician the information on memory reversal and how to prevent depressions. She was fascinated. I suspect that God takes me to these places when there is time to love my brothers and sisters with this good news.
Miracle of miracles! Some days I have no idea how this God is sooo merciful and so fascinating. He is real and real second by second. When He does not answer what we have asked in prayer, it is because it is not good for us. And saying yes to His negative response, it is soo important. It must be understood that a negative answer is always the right answer and that we should simply enjoy what He has decided for us. This makes our faith grow and grow and we then, become true disciples able to love God and neighbor in fascinating ways.
As I left my home and suddenly, I felt that my car was leaning to my left as if a tire was deflated. Yet, within a short distance I felt the car was running well. I promised myself to check the tires on my left side as soon as I parked at church. Yet, it was slightly raining and I got distracted and did not do it. From there I went to two other places to buy food items and forgot to check them. When I parked in my garage, I remembered and checked and yes, there was a nail in the tire, and the latter was well inflated. The nail was in the outside of the tire and after parking, the nail was also visible. It could have been under and I could have not seen it.
I then called my son to figure out what to do about it and he recommended Meineke in the city we live. In the afternoon I went there and was told that I could not patch the tire because the nail was too much to the side and it could explode when driving a high velocity as we do in the expressway. Edward, an Asian young man and assistant manager, was wonderful. He called their storage place and they did not have the tire. They would have to order it. I decided to wait, again always waiting on God for such decisions and calling the Holy Spirit to take over. I know Satan is always on the alert and I felt that I had to wait for the following day to call and order it. He asked Ariel, the young mechanic, to put the spare tire and keep the tire with the nail in the trunk for a later decision. Edward refused to charge me. I gave him the gift of how to reverse dementia and how to prevent depressions. Once again, his eyes opened wide and he thanked me profusely. I figured out that God is doing this: moving me to pass on this information in order to see how the faces of people get illuminated with this hope, even if they do not have the disease. This gives me tremendous power to sacrifice my vision at all cost and finish the book.
Friday, December 19.
I called Honda in Walnut Creek, my favorite place since they have done jobs and not charge me… and as I reported in past months, but found two girls who were very negative as to find time for an appointment. It was late and I then planned to call Meineke for the next day.
Saturday, December 20
I called Meineke and spoke to Jeffrey. He had to call Edward to find out what kind of tire I needed. He promised to call me back and never did.
I went to our penance service and prepared myself well. I wanted to be sure that even small venial sins were brought up.
By chance (Nah, by God’s grace) I found out that they had added more Spanish TV channels in the regular English list through Comcast. I decided to check the real section of Hispanic programs which include EWTN and which it was not available since I arrived here. About a year ago, even my son asked me if I wanted him to pay for this service. I said that it was not necessary since I have EWTN in English. Well, on this day, on the 39th anniversary of the death of my earthly mother, I decided to investigate the 600’s channels (all Hispanic), AND YES, EWTN IN ESPAÑOL IS NOW AVAILABLE! But why now?
Soon enough, I heard a program from a Padre Pedro. Somebody wrote an email telling him that she had been out of the Church for 20 years. She returned one year ago. Her question was this: “Is it true that Jesus is in the Host? Is that true?” I immediately realized that before she left the Church, she had not been catechized at all in this subject matter. I started to resent the Church and instantly, my heavenly Mom came through and said, “Do not resent… Instead, turn around, realize that you could have been one of them and pray for her.” Wow! My Mom is always around in the power of her Spouse the Holy Spirit, in order to guide me in the right way. In the other hand, I realized that our lack of recognition of the Real Presence in the Eucharist is a malady that is an ominous practice for the sanctification of the entire Church, and we do not pray enough for this to disappear.
Or, at least, I do not pray day and night for this to be changed. One way is to have our priests, all of them, fall in love with Jesus in such a way, that they may recognize Him in the “breaking of the bread” and this is very clearly diagnosed in the way the Priest pronounces the words and conducts the Consecration… I can say it because I have a pastor that does it beautifully, and the Priests of the Order founded by Mother Angelica (EWTN) seem to grow daily in this witness of their belief in the Real Presence. For me, at least, it is a huge gift and I pray for them often that they can continue growing in this love for Him.
Monday, December 22
After Mass, I went to Meineke and met Jeffrey. The previous Saturday, he could not find Edward who was on vacation. He took the tire from my trunk and ordered it to be there in the afternoon. I chose to visit them the following morning.
Tuesday, December 23.
After Mass, there I was at Meineke again. Ariel, the technician came to me right away and took the car to elevate it and change the spare tire for the brand new one. In the mean time, I paid Jeffrey and he knew that I was coming from Mass. He then told me that he goes to church either Saturday or Sunday. I asked him if he was Catholic. He said, “No, but I am a Christian and told me his denomination.” I congratulated him for being faithful to attend church on weekends. He said that his church is always full, and some 7,000 people go through on weekends! I then told him about my gift for Christmas: dementia and depression answers. He was fascinated again… By now, Ariel came in saying my car was ready. As it turned down, Ariel is from Nicaragua… and smiled profusely when he told me. They both treated me as a queen…
For the Mass of this day, I thanked God for the huge miracle of alerting me about the nail in the tire. I realized that I kept forgetting to check it in order for me to finish all the things I had do, including going to CVS and finding a lady who could give some information about another place I needed to know… This was in my list of things to do and somehow, God brought her to CVS at the very same time, and just as I had finished telling the pharmacy technician about my gift, she was right behind me… Had I checked the tire much earlier, I probably would have cancelled out of fear going to any other place … Almost daily, I open my mouth in amazement for the ways this Lord lets me know what I need to know, when I need to, and both of them teach me not to worry in between.
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
I visited the organic food store and many of their employees know me well. Many of them asked me if I was ready to celebrate Christmas. In every instance I answered that Christmas is daily for me. They would look at me with inquiring eyes. I had to tell them that every day, when I attend Mass, He comes over and over to us because I am Catholic and believe that He is summoned to be in the Host in the Altar, and that He truly does. Someone else added, “But you have to do something for Christmas since this is when we commemorate when He was born in Bethlehem.” I answered, “Correct, you have said it. We commemorate when He came for the first time; yet, He is in this world right now and re-appears over and over at the Consecration in the Mass. This latter part should make us shake and vow to His Majesty for coming over and over not only to be near, but to go inside of us to sanctify us.” This employee was Hispanic and Catholic. Her demeanor showed me that she understood and was somewhat amazed at looking to this truth in a different way. Evangelization is needed more and more and God is not shy in giving us that opportunity: giving love to others through information they need (dementia, depressions), or simply proclaiming the Kingdom by expressing the Truth.
Thursday, December 25.
In the program of Good Morning America in the ABC channel, they aired a recent interview with Cardinal Donald Weurl, the Archbishop from Washington, D.C. The crew from GMA and well known hosts, all coincided that this Cardinal projects much hope and love… The Cardinal had spoken very well regarding Pope Francis. All in all, the worldly culture had met with the beliefs of our hierarchy and there was unity! Wow! “Sí se puede,” we would say in Spanish… or “it can be done!” The witness of these two Priests, now Pope and Cardinal, were eloquent and moved hearts… What an example for all of us!
Now, I will share with you all my resolutions written in this site for the years 2010, 2012, 2013 and 2014and the new ones for 2015.
Saturday, December 27
I thought I had finished the blog and wanted to post since yesterday; yet, He was not finished… No at all. What bothers me is to make these blogs too long and to tiresome to read in their entirety. Of course, God knows better and I do nothing.
I have kept bugging Him as to why I am developing more allergies and to important medications. I wanted Him to tell me why? Was it because I was not doing my imagery of my immune system to tie up these cells to work so hard against anything that comes into my mouth? So, He decided to respond. I told Him: give me the number one or word first if it is my disobedience to do more imagery? Give me the number two or second to tell me if it is because my obedience to His will is still with major questions? I prayed to the Holy Spirit and asked for help. He gave me a page in the Bible.
3 PM. Deuteronomy 17: verse 6 starts— “The testimony of two….”
In the same Deuteronomy 17 but in verse 11 – “You shall carry out the directions they give you (referring to the levitical priests) and the verdict they pronounce for you, without turning aside to the right or to the left from the decision they hand down to you. Any man, who has the insolence to refuse to listen to the priest who officiates there in the ministry of the Lord, your God, or to the judge, shall die. Thus shall you purge the evil from your midst. And all the people, on hearing of it, shall fear, and never again be insolent.”
My understanding was He was reminding me that He is in charge of my life and I become an insolent servant when I question His designs for me!. In fact, for years I have loved the verses in Isaiah 30:20-21, that says the very same thing. “The Lord will give you the bread you need and the water for which you thirst. No longer will your Teacher hide Himself, but with your own eyes you shall see your Teacher, while from behind, a voice shall sound in your ears: ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ when you would turn to the right or to the left.”
I read it again and I understood more than before. He, my Teacher, Jesus, will give me the Bread of Life and not hide from me, by letting me know as a child that such Bread, the Sacred Host, was Himself, and that He would guide me to the left or right as needed and as He has done my entire life…
I was also referred to other verses in Deuteronomy 7, which you may like to read on your own if so called, where the Lord tells the Israelites what are the blessings of obeying His will, and how He cares for them (as He does today).
III. COPY OF RESOLUTIONS FROM PAST BLOGS
Here is a summary of my resolutions for 2010
MY MISSION ON THIS EARTH IS TO BE THE BEST SERVANT POSSIBLE WHILE WORKING AS A MISSIONARY. But how?
In order to become the best servant and missionary for the Kingdom of God, I must implement the following resolutions:
1. Keeping my inner temple clean, as I restore the parts that are not fulfilling God’s plans for me when He created me. (Kept)
a. With constant prayer within, of praise and adoration and as I ask for His mercy, but always calling His Holy Spirit to run its maintenance and restoration. (Kept)
b. With oral prayer but said in the NOW –> Rosary/Chaplet of Mercy and other prayers.. Yet, never asking for things since my Father knows what I need, and always asking for the grace to surrender to Divine Providence at all moments of my life.(Kept)
c. Daily Mass and Holy Hour as best as I can. (Kept)
d. By repenting for my faults and by receiving often the Sacrament of Reconciliation. (Kept)
e. Living in the Present Moment
– With a big yes to God’s will and blind obedience to God’s commandments. And even calling all that He allows in my life, just, right and good judgment on His part, as Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego did. (Not perfectly kept)
– With surety that each present moment is as perfect and necessary as it can be for my spiritual life. (Not having this surety sometimes)
– Accepting all crosses as battles that need to be won under the Cross of Christ, and offering them at the altar of my inner temple in atonement for my sins and those of my neighbor, for a cross not offered is a cross wasted! (Kept)
– Always trying to focus not on the cross of the present moment, but delighting in its perfection, pretty much as spiritual money. To do that, I must remember Daniel’s three friends in the hot furnace. (Kept)
– All of the above done for the glory of God and not aimed ever at trying to impress God in order to convince Him that my ways are better than His.(Super kept)
2. Trusting that what I have been told over and over in the Scriptures will be fulfilled in my life but much faster if I suffer with Him for the salvation of others. Understanding that this cooperation with God on my part will make me a true missionary, and that means the best servant I can be. (Being kept)
3. Often looking at the lives of my role models, especially His Mother, and asking myself how much I am trying to do what they did. Inviting Our Lady to pray for me with each Hail Mary, yet in a conscious way and not babbling like the pagans. I must strive and ask God for the grace to live a personal relationship with this great servant, His Son’s Mother, so that I can have an intercessor at the throne of Mercy praying for me so that I imitate her servanthood to a T. (Super kept)
4. A very important decision for me to follow in my restoration plan: to stop taking these resolutions as reflections and not as a plan that has to be implemented to stop taking these resolutions as reflections and not as a plan that has to be implemented with the maturity of a daughter of the Father, disciple of Jesus, and who has received all Sacraments of initiation in order to work in the power of the Holy Spirit; adding to this, the gift of the Bread of Life available to help ME walk this talk, and not just let be another “talking of the talk.” (Kept). In fact, one of the pains I suffer when writing these blogs, is to submit you to read more reflections. We end up diluting our purpose and making plans that get partially or not implemented at all, as if we could choose or not what to do. Nowadays, many are writing books and concocting wonderful exercises of prayer, and yet, we hardly call each other to the battle ground within ourselves and to submit to the work of inner restoration by training all the time and running and winning the race to our Father’s house.
My resolutions for 2012
I have reviewed so many different recent events and many of them have revealed to me the need to do something about it. In the other hand, I can hardly do anything that can evangelize 9 million people in a short time like it happened after 1531. But I can put a plan together that could make me more available to the Holy Spirit in order to be used by God in this effort of saving souls. It is obvious that I cannot drag my feet too much longer. I must run… and let God do the rest.
The revisiting of the story of Our Lady of Guadalupe left me with a strong sense that the Virgin Mary acted as a child would. She trusted God’s will for her like a little baby would his/her parents. She had not agendas. She had no ego. She loved God superbly by accepting what she was sent to do. She loved her neighbor as only she could with all her holiness. She accepted that the Holy Spirit would impregnate her as any child would believe a parent.
And since Jesus was clear in this aspect. “Unless you become like a child, you cannot enter the Kingdom of God,” it became obvious to me that I must become a child (not childish) but that I cannot become one just because He said so or because she did so. I need His wisdom to do so and His grace to empower me. Therefore, I must often ask for these two gifts that made possible the Incarnation of the Son of God then, and now; I need Him to be incarnated in my soul in order to take Him to others.
1. Therefore, I will ask day and night to be given the soul and mind of a little child, but I will also ask the Holy Spirit as often as possible and all day long to take over my soul and to impart all the wisdom and other gifts to become a child. (Not done). So, the prayer that I have mentioned before will be in my lips, and thank God that I know it by heart.
“Come Holy Spirit enlighten my heart to see the things that are of God. Come Holy Spirit into my mind that I may know the things that are of God. Come Holy Spirit into my soul that I may belong only to God. Sanctify all that I think, say and do that all will be for the glory of God. Amen.”
2. I will ask Our Lady for her intercession by reciting often the Hail Mary during the day, so that I can become like a child, trust like one, love like one, hope like one and believe in God’s love for me as if I were a child. (Kept)
3. There is another story that already rendered major fruits. In June of 2010, I had started a continuous Novena to the Divine Child Jesus, or el Divino Niño as He is known in Colombia. I have the many novenas in Spanish that have been published in Colombia and which I had secured some years ago via a Hispanic religious bookstore in New York. On September 23 of the same year 2010, my youngest son let us know that he would be moving to Birmingham, Alabama, in order to continue his research at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. It is obvious that this decision had been made in the previous weeks, time when I was praying to the Child Jesus.
I wrote about the news to some friends on this same feast of St. Padre Pio, and by God’s mercy, I made a copy of the email and kept it with me all this time. I never make copies of the emails I send…! In it, I wrote how I had been doing this novena to Baby Jesus at 3 PM, the hour of mercy! I mentioned how my son had sent word of his decision and how… and here I will quote from this email - “Now, Baby Jesus is moving him to no less and no more than Birmingham, AL, just one hour from Hanceville, where He has His own Temple, also known as the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament… AMAZING GRACE, HOW SWEET THE SOUND. Just think what God can do and what our prayer can do…. Will you please pray for this my son that Satan stays out of the way and that he finds the right persons and housing in his way. He is not married and who knows if he is moving to find a good religious Catholic wife.. .”
And sure enough, he found the wife… Hmm… Therefore, for my particular life, for the efforts of evangelization, I am going to place this devotion to the Divine Child Jesus in the center of my spirituality… Besides, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Therese, St. Anthony of Padua, they also placed the devotion to His Infancy in the center of their apostolate. I will be praying daily to Him as a little Child and asking for His protection so that I can also become a child in the ways I approach Him. (Poorly kept)
4. I will also be very diligent to say “yes” to everything He allows in my life, but a yes that trusts like a baby. (I easily say yes to God’s will but not truly trusting like a child would do)
5. I will do my best to love my neighbor in the way that St. John of the Cross carried his inner life despite persecution by his own friars. But again, calling the Holy Spirit and securing the intercession of Our Lady for all of this. In these conditions, I believe that I can become a much better evangelizer. (Kept)
For year 2013
I will now share with you what all these experiences of this month have brought me. On 12/12/12, I was given a personal plan to live the rest of this Year of Faith. I made new cards and I carry them with me and you know all of this material but want to tell you that I am very seriously following it.
1. Abandonment to Divine Providence is the child of perfect trust in Gods’ love and mercy. This trust must be blind and consists in doing the will of God at each present moment for the love of God and neighbor as if nothing else matters. Therefore, I must stop all imaginings about the future and keep my attention on what is happening now, and submit to it as Our Lady did, with a definite Yes that has no worries or questions. He is with me and He will do whatever needs to be done…But how to help myself stay under His reign opening the doors of my soul to the Holy Ghost? (Kept)
1) By Inviting the Holy Spirit to take over whenever I feel tempted to worry or wanting to know about what is to come.
2) Daily Mass offered for my growth in faith and to trust like a child would. This means that instead of condemning the world or religious scandals, I must be merciful as my Father is and offer my suffering and prayer for them, and trust like a baby, that Daddy loves all of us.(I rarely offer the Mass for myself)
3) Rosaries offered to stop Satan and to be able to offer my crosses without any repugnance of carrying them for the salvation of many. (Kept most of the time)
4) Chaplets of Mercy said in expiation for the sins of the world and asking God for His mercy for many to grow in faith for Him. (Kept)
5 Frequent moments of adoration of God within, the Holy Trinity, as the day goes on. (Kept very well)
6) Frequent periods of time adoring the Eucharistic Jesus as I beg for His mercy for these times. (Kept)
7) Frequent consecration of my life to Our Lady (Kept)
2. I will make a list of all my crosses, and train myself to embrace all kinds of suffering. I will do that by offering the pain every hour as possible, for the salvation of those who are dying in that hour. (I have found out that much joy comes from accepting the Cross as a means of redemption, personal and for others.) I will understand that spiritual darkness is either from God directly and in order to join Him at Calvary, or allowed by God and instigated by Satan, using other persons. Yet, these oppressions are gifts to present to the Throne of Mercy for the salvation of many souls.(Well kept)
Luke 14: 27. “Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be my disciple.”
“To endure darkness leads to great light.” St. John of the Cross.
3. I will take very seriously the idea of becoming a “victim soul” for the sake of the Kingdom of God. (I rarely remember to do so)
4. I will keep a file of facts of the many times when God has shown His love for me with signs and wonders. (Kept)
5. MY DAILY PRAYER must include:
You know this prayer of former Edith Stein, now St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross and I will write it in two languages:
Dios mío, no quiere conocer tus caminos. Para eso soy tu hija. Eres Padre de sabiduría y un Padre también para mí. Y si me llevas a través de la noche, sé que me llevas a Ti.
My God, I do not want to know your roads. That is why I am your daughter. You are a Father of wisdom and a Father also to me. And if You take me through the darkness of night, I know that you are taking me to Yourself. (Kept)
After all I have written, words may move others but it is clear that my actions, my way of following this Babe and Messiah King, are the donkey that will carry Him to other hearts. I can talk all day about Faith and how much I need to grow in it, but my actions are the ones that this Messiah King will hear and that will melt His Heart, so that His mercy can come down by buckets of grace and love and much, much faith in His love for us.
So, in the Internet, in the presence of all who may read this blog, I am promising the following to the Babe at the manger for this Year of Faith, and hopefully also until the day I depart from this earth.
1. To become abandoned to His Divine Providence and as never before. By using the plan written above, I will be begging God to give me the grace to do so. I do accept again to become a “sacrifice” for the salvation of many souls. From this Christmas Day 2012 on, I will close my eyes to anything that I find troublesome in His will for me and similar to what Jesus felt at the Mount of Olives, and will say yes to it, in order to turn around and offer it up for the redemption of many.(Kept)
2. When periods of oppression or interior desolation come to make me desist of my abandonment to His providence, I will call the Holy Spirit and His Spouse, my Mother, in order to accept the desolation without wanting to end it or trying to run away from His will for me, and at the very same time, to turn around and offer it for my brothers and sisters. (Kept)
3. The help of Our Lady will be sought day and night to give me the faith she had, the love of God and neighbor she had, so that Satan can be ousted from my life and that of others. (Kept)
4. The New Evangelization for me has started. So,
a) Every hour even when I may forget, I solemnly offer my crosses for the salvation of those dying at that hour, and for every woman who is planning to abort a baby, so that grace will enter her heart and abort her plan. (I must report that consciously I have not kept this resolution every hour but often do it a few times per day)
b) At the 3PM hour (PST), I will also offer my crosses and sufferings for the Roman Catholic Church, especially for those members who are lukewarm and for those who receive Him in mortal sin. This offering will be asking Jesus for His mercy for our Church Worldwide and seeks a New Pentecost in order to make more saints to Christianize America(I must tell you that by December 2014, yes, I offer my crosses for the Church very often during the day but not precisely at 3 PM)
RESOLUTIONS FOR 2014
I have summarized in the last part of this blog, what I have felt led to do in order to aid my conversion in the fastest way possible. But let’s consider first a list of general spiritual resolutions that we all should be familiar with:
1. To be always joyful (I write this on December 214 – this was a poorly stated resolution since joy is a gift of God. However, if I keep the resolutions of other years as state above, but mostly to say yes to His will, I will be given the gift of joy and yes, I have it most of all the time… In fact, when I am not joyful, I suspect of Satan trying to oppress me. But joy is not happiness. Joy comes from within and one has to smile, since it is a delicious feeling!)
2. To be more giving to others especially for the poor, the sick, the lonely. We can give money, medicines, company, and love in general. (Kept)
3. To be patient with myself and others. (I frequently mess it up at least for a while until by grace I realize my fault)
4. To get rid of all worldly idols, whether ideas or objects or people (Kept by asking often during the day for such grace)
5. To forgive all offenses (Kept)
6. To get rid of all resentment (Right away, I DECIDE not to resent but at the same time, I pray for love for those I find resenting and sure enough, miraculously, I feel such love for them although not right away but soon enough, and this every time it happens)
7. To get rid of all fear. (I have tried very hard not to be fearful whenever I sense it, by stopping it with an act of trust in God’s mercy but in action, that is, by applying myself to do His will with great desire; it does work all the time!)
8. To never doubt the love of God for me (Kept)
9. I will ask day and night to be given the soul and mind of a little child, but I will also ask the Holy Spirit as often as possible and all day long to take over my soul and to impart all the wisdom and other gifts to become a child. (Poorly kept)
10 To truly believe that the Holy Spirit is in charge of my spiritual growth and prove it by the way I consult Him during each day! (Totally kept)
11. To do a Holy Hour as often as possible (Kept)
12. To grow in my personal relationship with Jesus (Done by doing His will with great desire, and then, my relationship has grown a lot!)
13. To be able to say yes to the will of God (Well kept)
14. To be able to embrace all my crosses (Kept)
15. To read Scripture on a daily basis and practice lectio divina as called for (Kept)
16. To read often the lives of the Saints (Done but not as often as I used to do it; I place more emphasis in reading the Scriptures and meditating on them because at this phase of my spiritual life, I have already spent years in the 1970’ and 1980’s reading their lives)
I am sure that most of us reading this blog have made such resolutions at different times of our spiritual life and they look very good in appearance. However, our parishes still lack the attendance of most of the baptized Catholics in its geographical area. I say it because since Vatican II I have not seen lasting changes from year to year. IT SEEMS THAT our resolutions do not get us anywhere and possibly because we are sowing these seeds in rocky ground. Of course, God will honor our intentions and will bless us but not with the fire necessary to change the world around us. This hints to the reality that just making resolutions is not enough. We need a revolution in our hearts.
Alright, let’s consider another list of resolutions that MAY help us more as far as the end-results and our power to evangelize others.
1. Pray daily, especially at least ONE ROSARY… contemplating the power of our Mother and the power of our contemplation of the birth, life and death of the Lord Jesus (Kept)
2. Attend daily Mass as often as possible and for sure every weekend. (Kept)
3. Make use of the confessional often and as needed (Kept)
4. Cultivate a desire to forgive, forget and terminate all resentment (Forgiving is easy; resentment is dealt as in No. 6 above. Yet, forgetting is not easy for me to do even at the end of 2014)
5. Read the Scriptures with lectio divina and as called for.(Kept without problems)
6. RE-WIRE MY BRAIN TO BE IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD by calling the mercy of God upon myself and others at least every hour on the hour, saying,
“I am the servant of the Lord. Here I am Lord. I come to do Your will.” (Not done every hour on the hour but often during the day)
Follow it with a call for the Holy Spirit within to direct us, and if felt led, to proceed to do what we are called to do. My favorite prayer that I know by heart despite memory problems has been posted before and it is as follows:
“Come Holy Spirit, enlighten my heart to see the things that are of God. Come Holy Spirit into my mind that I may know the things that are of God. Come Holy Spirit into my soul that I may belong only to God. Sanctify all that I think, say and do that all be done for the glory of God.”
(The following comments I have copied from the resolutions for this year of 2014 just to remind all of us of the Mercy of God when we truly trust!) This list of resolutions desensitizes our beings from the call from our own will, the world or Satan, and at the same time brings upon the power, the fire for us to TRUST IN GOD and have His mercy change us like never before. It is a form of getting the Holy Spirit to impregnate us with a real personal relationship with Jesus, as He did with Our Lady. He will give us the joy we need, the courage, the wisdom to do all required to grow in this relationship. He will dismantle fears, idolatry of any kind, resentments. He will cultivate in us, fervor for prayer, desire to serve the poor, the sick, the forgotten. BUT ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT AND BLESSED FRUITS of this re-wiring of our brains is to truly BELIEVE THAT THE HOLY SPIRIT CAN DO SUCH JOB and to experience the love of God for us at every corner of our lives… and all of these blessings at a very low cost for us. He only needs our determined “yes” to God’s will.
Let me mention something else. In the Magnificat, Our Lady mentions Abraham!!! Hmm. Yes, Abraham’s faith was unique because he had a very personal friendship with Yahweh… He had no maps, no I-phones, no pharmacies to buy medicines to help his old age for this long journey, and he did not hesitate to move to another land and leave all his belongings behind, except for some sheep and the essential needs for survival. Ah, there is another huge example. Let’s consider Moses.
What about if in 2014, God comes to any of us and says, “I want you to move all Catholics in New York State to California.” And yet Moses did something similar… He moved the people of Israel from Egypt to the Promised Land. He did it because he had a supreme personal relationship with Yahweh! It is all about relating to God day and night. There is no space for doubting… When Moses doubted, he was prohibited to enjoy the good sunny climate of California and died at the top of the mountain named Tahoe, only being able to look from away the valley and the Pacific Ocean and its beaches! Our Lady did the same but she never doubted!!! Big difference. She said yes to God, she believed that yes, the Holy Spirit of God had impregnated her with the Messiah King and took off to visit her cousin in a far away area, some say, about 3 days walk.. She did not take Joseph to help her. She did not worry about what would happen after she came back. She only was possessed by love for Elizabeth and wanted to serve her. She had joy, humility, a MOST PROFOUND RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD, the child in her womb, plus no doubts, no fears, perfect humility and all along, she was witnessing to what God can do for each one of us. He wins ALL our battles because Gabriel had said so, that “For God all things are possible!”
So, here we have to contemplate these scenarios in the Bible, and stop trying to humanly understand why it happened or all the do’s and don’ts in order to do what she did. We only have to OBEY God’s will and every hour on the hour, confess our belief that we are servants and want to serve, asking for the graces necessary from the Holy Spirit. This second group of resolutions will OPEN our SOUL to OBEY THE HOLY SPIRIT’s guidance since He gives the graces and fruits necessary for the job of doing God’s will. Even if we do not have the time to pray for long periods of time or attending daily Mass or becoming an expert in the Bible, the re-wiring of our brains can scientifically take us to live attentive to the Holy Spirit within, and hourly ask Him to give us whatever we need to be the best servant as our Mother in heaven was. It is fun to just trying to be like a 15 year old who rejoiced in God and was humble and ran to help her cousin. We do not have to understand much. We will suffer much and yet survive our trials. It is fun to have a relationship with a God Who is soo alive… He only wants our yes to transform us into powerful witnesses of the Gospel. Pope Francis is doing so and yes, even in this kind of society, it can be done.
RESOLUTIONS FOR 2015
I. To become a better disciple I must deny myself. Therefore, this list of ways of doing it that I wrote in 2006 and posted on December 2009
Self-denial means to become a sacrifice made of my becoming one with the will of God where:
1.The only noise I make is with my “mea culpa,” Latin for “being sorry.”
2. The only word expressed is thanksgiving for my crosses as I embrace them.
3.The only work I do is to love in all circumstances and regardless.
4. The only gift I seek is the mercy of God for me and the world through my decisive trust in His love for me, which I can live by saying yes to His will day and night..
5. The only desire I have is to do all of the above for the praise of the glory of God and for the salvation of mankind.
My helpers in denying myself are:
1. Silence to yesteryears – because what I suffered was perfect and necessary since every morning God knows even the number of hairs in my head. If He allowed a difficult moment, He did it for my formation in my call to holiness as He is holy. I must remember the past crosses only to thank Him because I survived them and they gave me much fruit in my spiritual life. I would not be the same without them since they contoured the excesses and laxities of my soul in order to daily regain my attention of seeking the Kingdom of God, and therefore, I should not even waste time in looking back except to thank Him.
2. Silence to tomorrow– because tomorrow will never exist, ever. All tomorrows are a fantasy. They need to become my present moment in order to be real. Therefore, they can change in many ways from my images of what may be to the reality of this day, and thereby, it is a total waste of time to think about what is not even real. Any fear about tomorrow’s possibilities denies the Word of God, which forewarns me not to worry or be afraid, plus He said that my Father knows what I need and will provide accordingly.
3. Silence to the present moment – all present crosses and all needs for self gratification or “mundane happiness” must be indentified and recognized as a major silent stumbling block to my true and permanent happiness on this earth and eternal life for my soul. My work is one of silence in the Presence of the God within, and Who is in charge. My work is one of saying “yes” to all present moments and to say it like a child would, with total trust in my Father’s love for me (His mercy), just as Jesus taught me. My work is one of listening BUT in the midst of silence to yesteryears and tomorrows, in order to work for the coming of the Kingdom to many souls, including my own, and according to His plans, not mine, as I wait for Him to do it all in my soul denied of self and under the umbrella of my yes, mea culpa, thanksgiving, loving God and neighbor to the highest form I can, asking for His mercy and just to praise His glory and be the best servant possible in the work of the Kingdom for the sake of others. Huh!
I must say that the above plastic changes are secured in my brain by now, and that I often automatically remember them and re-route myself from the extreme noise from yesteryears or tomorrows, of course all through the power of the Holy Ghost residing in His temple within me. Next time I will start the topic of what following Jesus has meant in my life.
IMPORTANT: the temptation is to read all of these words and think that the work is impossible to be applied in our lives… May I repeat to all of you that it only takes the understanding of the conversion involved plus a solid yes to live it, and He does the rest… Trust me on that one because I have lived it… It is a mystery but with wonderful results!
II. To inspect AT LEAST ONCE PER MONTH, the resolutions of previous years (added below) and work on keeping as best as I can those poorly followed, and keep an eye on how I grow in this aspect.
I will ask day and night to be given the soul and mind of a little child, but I will also ask the Holy Spirit as often as possible and all day long to take over my soul and to impart all the wisdom and other gifts to become a child.
I am going to place this devotion to the Divine Child Jesus in the center of my spirituality… Besides, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Therese, St. Anthony of Padua, they also placed the devotion to His Infancy in the center of their apostolate. I will be praying daily to Him as a little Child and asking for His protection so that I can also become a child in the ways I approach Him.
I will also be very diligent to say “yes” to everything He allows in my life, but a yes that trusts like a baby.
Daily Mass offered for my growth in faith and to trust like a child would. This means that instead of condemning the world or religious scandals, I must be merciful as my Father is and offer my suffering and prayer for them, and trust like a baby, that Daddy loves all of us.
I will take very seriously the idea of becoming a “victim soul” for the sake of the Kingdom of God.
To be patient with myself and others
I will ask day and night to be given the soul and mind of a little child, but I will also ask the Holy Spirit as often as possible and all day long to take over my soul and to impart all the wisdom and other gifts to become a child.
III. To monthly review the three part definition of being a disciple of Christ plus my resolutions for 2015, and review my work for the past month and pray that I change as God wants me to change, as fast or as slow as He pleases, but all to give Him glory and worship. Said in other words, just to be a piece of dough in His Sacred Hands to be able to emulate His Sacred Heart, and to conform in the best possible way to the “yes” that Our Lady modeled for me.
IV. To keep seeking to love my neighbors no matter what and when scandalized or upset with their behavior towards me or in general, to pray for them every time… To remember that any of my tormentors is an image of God, and to repent big time and pray dutifully for the person that has caused me pain.
V. To keep in mind what it is to follow Jesus, that is, how He lived His life on earth trying to emulate Him, praying daily to the Holy Spirit for myself to do so.
VI. To pray a Rosary for daily for peace in the world
VII. To pray for all priests, from Bishops/Cardinals to Priests that they can see with their inner beings that every day, He is born on the Altars of the world and feel His Real Presence each time. We do not have to visit the Holy Land where He lived, because He is not personally present. We all need to live His coming over and over to the Altar if we truly believe that He does it to be with us. The Consecration moment should be seen in the faces of all of us: celebrant Priests and all of us. If we do not feel His closeness and love touching our hearts, then we should pray for such grace.
VIII. To ask at Mass DAILY, for all the Baptized Catholic members to enter into the realization and total certainty in their hearts that Jesus is ALIVE, Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity in every Consecrated Host, and to trust in this truth in their souls as a child would do! Also, to ask for the grace for them to recognize what they are lacking and for them to pray for themselves to reach this stage of faith on the Real Presence.
IX: To daily watch carefully how I use my time, especially how much of it I spend doing nothing but watching TV…
X: Every morning to thank God for my vision, my hearing, my brain with all what it does for me and for the rest of my organs, as well as the chemistry and electricity that makes my body run.
XI. To remember often the words of the Holy Father to the Vatican Members that could be applied to all of us laity:
1. To accept that the radical reform of the structures of the Church power must be accompanied by an even more radical spiritual reform on my behalf
2. To always remember that gossip is a form of terrorism and as a Baptized Catholic, it should not enslave me ever.
3. To choose JOY in my life to avoid ever having a funeral face. However, the choosing of joy is to invite God in my life with my way of living the Truth, and the shortest way to do it is by doing God’s will. The Sacraments by themselves will not invite the Holy Spirit to fill me with joy. I must give Him permission and the best way to invite Him, is to say the FIAT as Our Lady did!
4. To pray that the wounds of the sins that each one of us carries are healed and that the Church and Curia itself are made healthy.
XII. Every day when I pray the Family Rosary (and always mention myself without any special requests), from now on I will place one request: to comply con my resolutions for this year of 2015. I know my Mother will see to it!
XIII. I will offer each Mass of 2015, for whatever God wants for others as He leads me but ALSO TO TERMINATE FOREVER THE PLAYING OF AMERICAN FOOTBALL… We can pray for peace all we want, but if we educate our youth and re-wire their brains (via the plasticity of all brains) to violence seen in this sport, and violence that is expected, enjoyed, applauded, paying lots of money to be in each stadium to personally doing this brain washing in our brains, we are doomed to accept violence as accepted. We have little children watching… When they grow a little more, they identify this violence with making large sums of money, with notoriety and acceptance by an entire country. In the mean time, players are hit over and over and this is called “great playing.” I will ask the Lord as a personal favor, to finish this interest in the souls of those who love the sport, and when money is not produced, American football as we know it, will disappear! I say American football because we in Latin America, call soccer, football, and it is true: the ball is advanced with the feet and rarely with the head!
May you have a wonderful and blessed New Year 2015 and I wish you the best practice of saying yes to God’s will like never before, especially by embracing all your crosses (your personal Calvary) as vehicles that can carry Baby Jesus to the entire world, via words in the Internet or television or via your deeds and witness. I personally call Our Lady to help us all in this endeavor!
Please keep praying for me since I believe that I have developed an allergy to the medication I take for pain… Tramadol. I say so because lately, as I take it, shortly after I experience much pain in knees and left ankle and some discomfort in my stomach, I have to wait for the results of the drug to alleviate the pain it has produced!!! So, to go to daily Mass, I have to take this drug at least 1 ½ hours before to give time for the pain it causes to be alleviated by the same drug…! I have also developed an allergy to my special organic non fluorinated tooth paste! The Lord is truly testing me and sure enough, He must be asking me to do His will like never before and as revealed on Saturday, December 27, and regardless what it is, and He knows in my heart if I am still raising questions about it. He is an extraordinary Shepherd…