Archive for May, 2014

Do Not Be Afraid

May 31, 2014

Here is another blog meant to convey the training that I receive from month to month from a loving God, using the Holy Spirit as the mediator of the knowledge I need to change my ways and to receive the grace to be opened to conversion. It is a super exciting journey… because I see major changes… For example, I have noticed that now I easily refuse to pass judgment. I do start judging and suddenly I feel a great love for my brother(s) or sister(s) and I stop as if by magic… Grace flows and there is no doubt about it. But I must always remind you that whatever I write is how God is changing me under crosses of all kinds and that I have no formation in theology. Personally, I would still choose not to write these messages and I also trust in your prayers for me to do it only until God wants me to.  

Let me start with the definition of fear according to the Webster Dictionary: “Unpleasant emotion caused by expectation or awareness of danger.”  Therefore, not to be afraid is not to expect or be aware of any danger! And it was requested of us in the Bible around 360 times, including Jesus Who often said it and a favorite reminder from our Saint John Paul II.

Here is the sharing of my life for this month according to the calendar sequence.

Thursday, May 1

And God was super alive because today I had the most extraordinary moment with a national bank with which I carry my only credit card. I owe them money and have ample credit with them… and today probably was one of the moments where I evangelized like never before, that is, to a credit company. In the past, they have blocked my account through AOL, hoping that I cannot pay on time via Internet. In other words, they send me to AOL a monthly statement and a receipt of the previous month’s payment, and yet, I cannot get into my account like I did for years before… I chose to keep it as my only credit card because it has the lowest interest rate, 17.99 %…. Of course, the moment I am late with a payment, they will take me to 25% interest rate. With the recent hacking of information through many venues, this particular credit card had blocked my entrance to the site from everywhere (including seeking it via Google) and not only via AOL, in order to pay it before the due date of May 3… I had to call them to find out where to find the address to send the payment with check on this Thursday and pay overnight delivery to get there Friday May 2, since they would not accept payments on Saturday’s or Sunday’s. Hmm!!!

I made a phone call and landed with a Latino man who spoke perfect English, P. Gomez. He is a lover of Christ and we talked tons about Jesus and how even this day before I called, I had prayed for them and forgave them for what they have done before to me. He was fascinated. And of course, these calls are recorded… He offered to accept the payment himself and was also mesmerized to realize what came through our conversation about Jesus, and that I was a retired physician who used to make ¼ million dollars per year, and how I gave it to the poor… because the Bible is clear about it as in Matthew 19… I was able to pass to this bank the story that I was aware of how they have tried very hard to block everything so that I get a late payment and how I had forgiven them. P. could not say enough about it and thanked me so much for me to forgive them. It was apparent that what was moving him the most was the fact that I was living what the Bible teaches: to forgive. He kept saying, “It is soo good to find a person that can talk about God in such a way. I never find them and you truly have given me so much hope!” And yes, by the time I got to Mass, I went to thank this God of ours for what He had done… and a first in my life.

Little that I know that on May 30th I had to go through the same thing and find “Maria” to accept the payment… She gave me a phone where I can call and change my password in order to make the Internet feasible to do it. Yet, they could have done that before. I can see now, and as I finish this blog, that God offered this cross of months in order for me to leave the Gospel truth taped in their records! Always, always, every cross has meaning and it takes a lot of time for me to get it!!!!  Let me add that just having this debt bugs me… And slowly but surely, it is a constant reminder that GOD IS IN CHARGE AND WANTS IT SO. He could provide the money to cancel it and has chosen not to. I mostly use it for the payment of the storage place ($300 a month) where the things that came from Toledo are kept since July 2008… This also bothers me.

About a year ago I wanted to sell everything via EBay and get it over with, and I must say that I have zero attachment to what is in there (e.g. paintings, a Louis XVI hand carved living room set, many books, religious and with naturopathic content), but these things serve to remind me that I spent 5 years in a home in Ohio with no permission to sell it and with no job and THAT GOD PROVIDED SPLENDIDLY… Again, to be aware that God has done great things for me requires that this storage place exists to remind me. It is soo easy for us to forget the goodness of the Lord, and yes, we have a Mother who took the time to remind us in her little discourse of the Magnificat that our lives are a tapestry of God’s blessings for each one of us in particular… At the end, FEAR IS INVOLVED of this debt on my part for example, and  my work is to totally be accepting His will minute by minute as perfect and necessary for me and others. This is part of His goodness.

Friday, May 2

At 2 PM, I had an appointment with this new lady doctor endocrinologist , Dr. A. B. and the one that my gastroenterologist referred me to in order to find out if my severe pain in knees and left ankle was coming from my glands like the thyroid and adrenals, and if she could become my primary physician. I went to noon Mass and in my Holy Hour before Mass I said two Rosaries and told my Mom that in this her month, I wanted to be sure she was around for this new encounter with yet, another doctor . While waiting in her office, the Lord had customers for me. I found a 42 year old man who 5 days prior had a seven hour surgery for cancer of the thyroid. I shared with him the story that I had written in a document with the 15 or so ways to cure cancer naturally. He became very interested and was humble. Many people, doctors or patients, start from a rigid position that we have only protocols written by our regular doctors who really know everything about it, and of course, none include herbs, imagery and nutrition in general to cure this malady, and that I have met people cured after being told that nothing could be done for them. He gave me his email for me to send him the information.

The assistant to Dr. A. B., a young Hispanic girl, heard my conversation with the patient and when I got in, she quietly asked me to pass on this information to her as well, since many in her family have died of cancer. She was doing her internship in this office to become a medical assistant and she could not be caught talking to patients besides taking their blood pressure. As you can see, on this day, the opportunities to love my neighbor were many…I did not talk about God but loved them deeply in their need, and of course, the Holy Spirit does the rest and I will never know how or when. I only have to know that I AM IN TRAINING with all my crosses and difficulties and that the moment I step out of my home, I am dressed as an evangelizer, waiting for clients to engage with the Gospel but mainly with my witness, with my love for them. This is key for all of us… or so I think. That is, to be aware that we are in this world always serving the Triune God and therefore, must act as the Gospel tells us with the universal cure of love. .

This lady physician was a gem, compared to the male doctor with whom on March 20 I had had a major fight. She accepted to be my primary doctor. This was very important since I was in limbo and also, she was very humble when ordering different laboratory tests as we initiated this new journey of primary doctor/patient relationship… and every time she would ask me if I agreed with it. It reminded me of how discrimination works. With male doctors, there is a tendency to dominate even in front of another physician/patient, if the latter is a female. She ordered many blood studies to assess my general state and to proceed from there.

Saturday, May 3

My memory continues to be found lacking here and there, and on this day it was so clear that my fast weight loss of 40 pounds after my gastric bleeding back on August, did release more toxic’s… Of course, more fat was dislodged full of toxic’s and very fast and it landed in parts of the hippocampus, the main area of the brain where memory is stored. I believe that this is a perfect example that ratifies my first round of detoxification of my brain with memory recovery and very important in scientific grounds. On the other hand, my Spanish had continued to improve in amazing ways, as if pointing to the fact that this recent toxic overload did not touch this area where I store this language. Another extraordinary scientific proof of toxicity to be behind dementia and how reversible it is. But the pain in my knees continued to be horrendous and shopping is not an easy job. More on it later.

Sunday, May 4th.

 Fr. Miguel Marie from EWTN had an splendid homily.  At Mass in my parish and after Communion, I heard my Lord say, “All will be alright as long as your trust in My love for you to be there day and night. Remember what happened on this day in 1989!”

And yes, it was on May 4th, 1989, a Thursday and when we used to celebrate the Ascension on Thursday. I was attending a medical meeting and had gone at noon to Mass as a day of obligation. I was staying at a Marriott Hotel. It was then that I was sent to read Joshua chapter 4 in the hotel’s Gideon Bible. Joshua and Israel had crossed the Jordan River after it parted for them. And I heard God tell me, “As the Israelites passed to the Promised Land without any problem, so you will pass over and have no problems. Expect a new job for both of you and take them. And sure enough, I returned to South Bend, IN on Sunday, May 7th and Kaiser Permanente from Cleveland, OH called on that evening to talk to my husband to offer us jobs at their hospital. I HAVE REPEATED THIS STORY many times in these almost 6 years of blogging, and I do it again because I want to be sure to repeat that God is always with us… and directing us, and miss His guidance because we may not be tuned it and not hear His words… Notice that all these stories point to the fact that being “afraid” of what is going on and what is coming is simply an act of pure stupidity… And there is one thing that makes us unafraid and clear about our future, and this ONE THING is the key to every aspect of our spiritual life. More on it on May 9th.

Monday, May 5th

I had to go to have some blood drawn while fasting, so it had to be early. I found a branch of this lab closest to me and without major traffic. I came back home and then left again for noon Mass preceded by a Holy Hour. After Mass, I was led to a Sears store right as I passed by, which is in my way home and was sent to check for some pants. With my loss of 40 pounds, I have many clothes that are too big… I not only found the new smaller pants very fast (there are times that these stores are like labyrinths with all kinds of products all over and the pain in my knees does not like so much walking when there is no urgency) but I found a sale and they were 50% off… I wrote in  my journal, “The Love of my life, Jesus, the Lord, was directing me to great super sales! Extraordinary!” Here is a huge example of how we do not need anything but to be present to the Trinity within with our yes for that moment and the rest is history.

YES, YES, YES to everything at each present moment, good or bad, should be the mantra for our lives.

Tuesday, May 6th

I was in my parish at 10:50 AM and there was no parking available. I found a miniscule free space that was not in the way of anyone… They had a funeral for an 8 year old girl who died of cancer. I had to sit in a prayer room we have in the back of the church and prayed the Rosary while waiting for the many people who came to talk about this girl. It is so interesting to see lives of children disappear and one asks, why? She had suffered for 4 years the many allopathic treatments that did not stop this cancer.

 In the evening at 7:30 PM and still with the fresh memory of the funeral of this child I ended up reminiscing of a program I had seen earlier regarding “how parents must work in raising children in the faith.” This is one of the ways that we get confused. The work is not with the children and us directing the effort… No, the work is with our souls and how we have to change, and this way allowing the Holy Spirit to guide us to raise our children in the faith and with all the particulars for the personality of each child, created by God uniquely and for His glory. If we hear a series of ideas of how to do it, we are wasting our time. Practical advice as to how to bring the faith to others, children or adults, family, friends or strangers, does not work with our own ideas… Each group need a particular way that we do not know what it is looking from outside their minds and souls. Again, and again, and again, we need to clean our soul of ideas and become disciples, little by little, but found by our Lord all day long at work. From there, He takes us to find how to bring others to Him…

This blog’s topic will deal with some of this formation of our spiritual life and if we do it, THERE IS NOT A CHANCE TO BE AFRAID EVER… of anything of how to raise our kids. I did not know a thing about it when I got married and had four sons. Worse, I had to spend my motherly time in hospitals taking care of patients. By the grace of God, He led me to seek Him always since my first encounter as a child with His True Real Presence in the Eucharist, and that did it. I never had a chance to be afraid about the raising of my kids. They were perfect. Of course, I did not do it because I knew how or chose to… Noo. I was led in this path and most likely to be able to share it with many other parents. It is good to review how to be prepared for difficulties raising children, but at the end, we must all scream from the roof tops that He has a way, a Truth and that He is the life of our work as parents, and that if we keep close to Him DOING HIS WILL……. (not  just passing the “beads” or praying as to how to do it and asking Him to help out), kids will become new people in Christ.

And also, I am not saying that books and lists of do’s and don’ts are bad… What I am saying is that it is general information and good to read once or twice and then turn around to live as a disciple, that is, to deny myself, embrace my crosses and follow Him. YET, TO LIVE AS A DISCIPLE and knowing what to do needs the POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT for us to be able to do it and for Him to write a new book in our lives of witness of how to do it. And this power from the Spirit follows from one act, one action, one decision… one YES… And the rest will be history.

But as I was thinking about it, I was sent to a page in the Bible and this is what I learned:

Deuteronomy, Chapter 5.

Fear of Israel(Verse1). “Hear, O Israel the statues and decrees. The Lord made a covenant with us, all of us who are alive here this day. (I add: and this covenant is with us in 2014). (4). The Lord spoke with you face to face on the mountain from the midst of the fire (and with us at each Mass from the ambo and from the Altar of Sacrifice). (5). Since YOU WERE AFRAID OF FIRE and would not go up the mountain, I stood between the Lord and you at that time, to announce to you these words of the Lord. (Are we also afraid of following the teachings received at Mass?)   – In the following verses Moses explains to them all the commandments.

Verse (22): “The Lord wrote them on two tablets. (23). But when you heard the voice from the midst of the darkness, while the mountain was ablaze with fire, you came to me in the presence of all your tribal heads and elders, (24) and said, ‘The Lord, our God, has indeed let us see His glory and His Majesty! We have heard His voice from the midst of the fire and have found out today that a man can still live after God has spoken with Him. (25) But why should we die now? Surely the great fire will consume us. If we hear the voice of the Lord, our God, any more, we shall die. (26) For what mortal has heard, as we have, the voice of the living God speaking from the midst of the fire, and survived? (27) Go alone, you, and hear all that the Lord, our God, tells you; we will listen and obey.’ (28) Then the Lord heard your words  as you were speaking to me and said to me, ‘I have heard the words that these people have spoken to you, which are all well said, (29) would that they might always be of such mind, to fear Me and to keep all My commandments! Then they and their descendants would prosper forever. (30) Go, tell them to return to their tents. (31). Then you wait here near Me and I will give you all the commandments, the statues and decrees you must teach them, that they may observe them in the land which I am giving them to possess.’”

(Here we have the contrast of two fears… The Israelites started with the human fear for the fire of God and fear of death, and moved into the fear of God Himself, that is of His awesomeness… and therefore decided to send Moses alone but they were open to obey His commandments. They were saying Yes to His will)

(Moses continues-) (32)Be careful, therefore, to do as the Lord, your God, has commanded you, NOT TURNING ASIDE TO THE RIGHT OR TO THE LEFT, (33) but following exactly the way prescribed for you by the Lord, your God, that you may live and prosper, and may have a long life in the land which you are to occupy.”

Here it is evident that the cure for the human fear is… of course, to do His will… It is the “yes”… to God’s will. I was very taken by seeing this example right and there, and sad for many of us who have taken years to fight with the fear that has no reason to be.

Wednesday, May 7th

I went to noon Mass with Holy Hour before. On this day and many years ago, it was when we received the invitation to move back to Cleveland, a place that I had left after my first professional persecution. My Lord spoke during the Holy Hour and repeated the work He wants me to do… I thought that it had similarities with what had happened in 1989. After Communion my PAIN IN KNEES AND LEFT ANKLE disappeared… I went to a health food store near the church, Whole Foods, and had not need for the cane because I had zero pain. Then I went to Target to buy more Evian water. FOR 3 HOURS I SUFFERED NOT PAIN anywhere and then, it came back… This is exactly what He does to show me that He is in charge of my life and that even pain and with a very sickly immune system, are not problem for Him… and hinting that I must do what He commands, as He had described again during the Holy Hour, NOT TURNING TO THE LEFT OR TO THE RIGHT. It was a huge SIGN…

Thursday, May 8th

I was still mesmerized by what I lived the day before, when I was led to concoct a prayer and offering my life for what He wants. The prayer says,

“Today, May 8, 2014, (9:30 AM, in the middle of the Rosary, (which I was praying without the aid of EWTN and therefore could stop to write and continue), I ask  my Dad in heaven in the Name of Jesus to allow me to preach the Kingdom in whatever ways He wants it done, accepting ahead of time all crosses, persecutions with fasting of my will in everything and accepting to be led where I do not want to go in order to give glory to Him (John 21:18), publishing of a book to help my brothers and sisters and offering all my health issues IN ATONEMENT for the sins of the Catholic Ministerial Priesthood, the Catholic Church at large and for the entire world, all for the glory of God and in thanksgiving for all personal blessings received since my childhood. Amen.”

I could not attend Mass this day since I did not feel good and could not present this prayer to Him at the Consecration.

After finishing the Rosary, I was led to a page in the Bible, page 773, Sirach 47: 22a

“But God does not withdraw His mercy, nor permit even one of His promises to fall.”  Then I was sent to another page, 1089.

Mathew 17: 14-21. It is about the story of the disciples not being able to drive a demon out of a boy. The father of the boy knelt in front of Jesus and asked Him for help for his lunatic son. “He said, ‘Your disciples could not cure him!’”  Jesus became upset at the disciple’s lack of faith and delivered the boy from the demon. When the disciples asked Him in private why they could not do it, He said, “Because of your little faith.” (Ouch) He then told them that if they had faith the size of a mustard seed, they could move a mountain!

I realized that the Sirach verse was to remind me that what God has promised, because of His mercy, it will be so. In Mathew, it was a further reminder that I must have the faith that God has a plan for every detail of my life, and that my work is to TRUST IN HIS MERCY with eyes closed at all moments. My prayer to my Father to give myself to working for the Kingdom must go hand in hand with a definite reminder that He is in charge of my life and His mercy will take care of everything, and that my work for the Kingdom has to be impregnated with perfect faith. HOW CAN I EVANGELIZE IF I DO NOTHAVE SUCH FAITH? Again, the work I have is to be converted second by second to trust in His love and mercy for me with NO FEAR OF ANYTHING, and then evangelization of family members, friends, enemies and strangers is something very doable… It is all in the Bible…

At 3 PM and I was not even praying, when I received light on the Scripture passage(John 21) when the Apostles, after the Resurrection of Jesus, were fishing and could not catch any fish. Then, Jesus appeared in the beach and told them to throw the net in the other side of the boat. They did not know it was Jesus instructing them but when they obeyed, the sign came with the many fish caught and they were able to recognize Him. Notice that this was a transforming miracle for them, and proof of it is in the fact that they counted the fish (they did not have to and only say many fish)… to tell everybody about it in great detail and freshness to this very day!!! They had lost Him or so they thought and He came to tell them that He was with them still on this earth. It was a form of preparation to keep praying and believing in what He had taught them and later receiving the Holy Spirit in order to go and tell all of us their experience with Jesus of Nazareth.

It is a nice depiction of how working under Him we can catch many fish, and so it is in evangelization: we must believe that He is in charge of everything, and when we are not successful at bringing others to Him with our methodology, we should remember to work in our own faith and trust and this way, let His Spirit use us and convert many… It is always His work on this earth and we are simple servants that follow orders, even if those orders seem a little crazy, like fishing in the other side of the boat in the same area which had no fish around! A great part of our lack of bringing many back to the Church starts with our own tendency to plan it all and come up with empty nets. But what seems worse is that we keep doing the same year after year without great results and do not stop to evaluate why? Evangelization starts with my work as a disciple who follows orders but TRUSTING the He has the answers for us to bring others to Him. We have been terribly wired with ideas of self-sufficiency and making of prayer empty words that come from hearts that need a major conversion. I suspect that we keep forgetting about our own need to grow by letting the Holy Spirit do it and we cannot allow the Holy Spirit to form Jesus in us, as He did with our Mom, because we do not say Yes to everything that God wants of us!!!!

On this day, no doubt that I had been fed with great teaching and felt full of love by the Master. Later, the National Football League started with the selection of college outstanding players as they were selected by NFL teams, and our dear city of Cleveland, OH, one that all my boys consider their home town (because they grew up in it from children to teen years plus went to high school there), had obtained for their Browns American football team, no less and no more than Johnny Manziel, a.k.a. Johnny Football. Any American reading this blog understands who Manziel was during his two years of college at Texas A&M. Notice that I wrote American football because for us Latino’s, football is soccer and the World Cup is coming in a few days in Brazil! So, this whole day was full of God and of worldly news as well, but the latter news is just related to a ball… !

Friday, May 9.

At Holy Hour, I asked my Lord about the many questions as to why of the relocation of our pastor! He was clear and very sharp in His teaching. “Do not care who celebrates Mass or where or who says what or why of the reasons. You know the reasons and I am in charge. Ignore it all. Of what importance on a daily basis is that for you? Only your daily crosses (like the pain in your knees) embraced and offered up has immense value. I am in control of everything. What happens around you is of little value, except for My will for you at each moment. You received a huge sign the day after you were told and one more time what it is next for your own life, and you had no pain in your body for 3 hours. Instead, concentrate in the visit from your son in Alabama, wife and little baby, especially in the month of my Sacred Heart. Also remember that we will celebrate another anniversary of ‘Our’ getting together for the first time, at your First Holy Communion of June 8th.” I was left with no comments and satisfied…

I asked Him if I should keep taking the VSL#3, a very expensive item. He, the doctor in every sense of the word, answered, “Yes, because it will keep your gastrointestinal tract with less inflammation! The rapid wt. loss that you had about two months ago, released much toxicity that has affected your brain one more time because you could not detoxify your body fast enough. Therefore, keep detoxifying in the natural way and add the good bacteria to help out. And your somnolence is due to toxicity in your sleep center. It has nothing to do with your glands (thyroid or adrenals).”

(It turned out to be true… after I received the results of all the laboratory studies ordered by Dr. A. B. )

I was fascinated because it sounded like a real human doctor was talking.  On this day I had great joy throughout the Holy Hour and Mass but felt a slight depression. He was very present, as always, but I was able to capture His Presence in a super clear way. After Mass I proceeded to the next door CVS pharmacy to purchase the probiotic VSL#3. I had bought new white pants from Sears but had white shoes that were dirty and which also needed new shoelaces. I also needed a few things that may be found at Target or Wal-Mart, like “Aladdin” tall “safe” plastic glasses which I use to make my tea because they can be micro-waved, and have a cap versus using a cup and using the cane at the same time!!! May I remind you here that plastic with the numbers 1, 2, are the safest. 4 and 5 are safe. Numbers 3, 6 and 7 are not. You can look at the number at the bottom of any plastic container and never use in the kitchen or to drink or eat from containers that are unsafe because they contain BPS.

I had looked for these particular glasses in many places and but were not found. On this day, I entered CVS, a huge building and without thinking much, I turned in one aisle to proceed to the pharmacy section in order to buy the VSL#3 that is kept refrigerated, and as I turned, in one corner I found all the things that I had been looking for and together… The white shoe polish, the shoelaces and the tall plastic glasses!!! At these times, I feel like sitting down and crying. The Holy Spirit shows up and proves to me that He is with me and guiding me to everything that I need. This is an act of mercy towards me. It clearly helps to prove that God is always around guiding us, as long as we keep this constant alertness that He is crazy about us… and that His mercy endures forever. It is not once in a while… It is always that He is there for us… and it should be a matter of fact that we trust in this TRUTH!

Saturday, May 10.

Depression continued and at 9:40 AM, my Mother said, “It seems that you are down?” Then, she added that it was oppression from Satan and not a depression. Therefore that the chemical precursor of serotonin that I take when needed to help any depression called 5HTP, would not work and that instead, the treatment was with Rosaries. Therefore, to keep my Rosaries going…She added that Satan is furious with my blogs and my work for the Kingdom through the blogs (of course, I have no clear idea of what she was referring to!) and that Satan wants to keep me feeling down… On the other hand, I felt much joy in these days, as if God under her maternal intercession were covering me with joy to protect me from the oppression attack! And both feelings can exist at the same time, at least in my personal experience!

I did pray two Rosaries and during one of them, my Mother said that the title for this month’s blog would be, “Do not be afraid.” And to start explaining that the “yes” to God’s will take any fear away!!!!! I also understood and very quickly that it is easy to say, do not be afraid but how not to? Then, the Holy Spirit was quick to remind me that the answer is in the Bible. When our Mother said “Yes,” all her fears disappeared (she was troubled…) judging by the actions that followed of her taking off to help her cousin even that her own life had huge questions…

She suggested for me to attend the Saturday afternoon Mass instead of the 8 AM Mass on Sunday’s. I remembered that on Saturday I would not know many people around me as it would be on Sunday, May 11, since I never celebrate this feast. I have always told my boys as adults that this feast is for me to celebrate them because of their goodness with me, and not the other way around. In fact, all year round they celebrate Mother’s day by the way they act and live their lives, and that his actions towards me and among themselves and wives, truly make me so happy. So, on this Saturday afternoon, I would not know most people around and therefore, I would have much peace. As it turned out, the 4:30 PM Mass was concelebrated by three priests… Before this Mass I said more Rosaries, for a total of 5 for this day.

In thanksgiving for God giving me such beautiful family where peace and understanding reigns, I offered Him my desire to do what the prayer I had put together under the Holy Spirit’s guidance of May 8th contained, and I offered the Mass for two of the three priests who would be flying the following day to distant countries in Europe and Asia. By the way, at this time all oppression was gone. And yes, the Rosaries had done the job and corroborated my Mother’s diagnosis of oppression… In fact, I was able to work on the book that is being written until very late that evening and early morning of Sunday!

Sunday, May 11. Mother’s Day in the U. S.

In past years, I had found out that the ingestion of a local anesthetic well known to people at the dental chair, called Novocain or Procaine, if taken orally, can rejuvenate and also had worked for me in 2007 and decreased some allergies to some foods (when I was only allergic to 54 foods). It does not need a prescription. Of course, as an anesthesiologist, I have used Novocain and given it in the lumbar spine for a short spinal anesthetic. It lasts about one hour, versus xylocaine that takes about 90 minutes of paralysis and anesthesia from the waist down. But let me use this blog to keep you informed of some therapies that you may not have heard of and that it is good that you at least be educated on the subject matter. This blog is to serve others and I believe it could help some people that you may know!


PART OF EMAIL SENT TO MY SONS back in from Toledo, OH in early 2008

I have been given more and more ideas about how to be healthy and last longer (ouch, against my will). My Lord keeps me in a path of anti-aging. It has to do with the use of a local anesthetic called Novocaine or Procaine. The latest: I received today the pills to take containing Novocain/procaine (not too expensive) and I will paste here some of the info from the Internet that I gathered,

Words of Dr. Ann Gittleman: a very reputable respected woman 

“Dr. Ana Aslan’s use of procaine injections was one of the first anti-aging therapies of the post-World War II era. Its success has been well documented, and many of the world’s most famous politicians and celebrities—including John F. Kennedy, Nikita Khrushchev, Charlie Chaplin—traveled to Romania to obtain procaine therapy from Dr. Aslan’s clinic at the National Geriatric Institute. Also President Charles De Gaulle, West German Chancellor Konrad Adenauer, Chinese Chairman Mao Tse Tung, Vietnamese Chairman Ho Chi Minh have traveled to Romanis. Actresses Marlene Dietrich, Lillian Gish, the Gabor sisters, Actors Eric Roberts, Kirk Douglas and artist Salvador Dali. When I was nutritional director at the Pritikin Longevity Center (1980’s), I had the opportunity to speak with a number of distinguished persons—celebrities, CEOs, even former government officials and ambassadors—all of whom had traveled all over the world. In the course of their health histories, many of them casually mentioned that they had traveled to Romania to obtain Dr. Aslan’s procaine therapy. I became intrigued by the glowing reports of the extraordinary results that they obtained from her therapy and began my own research into this amazing anti-aging therapy.

“From my own research of published medical articles and consultations with my Pritikin clients, I learned that patients receiving procaine therapy showed more desire to live; diminished depression and anxiety; increased physical and intellectual capacities; diminished body rigidity; better skin, hair and nail growth; fewer senile brown spots and skin growths; increased muscular strength and joint mobility; and faster healing of accidental fractures. Occasionally, the users’ hair returned to a more youthful color. Most people also experienced mildly euphoric effects within one to three days of being given the injections. Since I could not go to Romania to obtain the injection, I began corresponding with Dr. Aslan and learned that her procaine therapy was also beneficial when administered orally. I began to receive my Gerovital tablets from a friend who was a travel agent and who had clients who traveled to Romania.” (End of information)

In 2008 I did try these pills and again, decreased some reaction to onions for example! However, after my recent increased allergy to foods saga since August 2013, I bought them but knew that may be this time I would be allergic to this local anesthetic pills. Sure enough, I was. So, on this day I called my friends in Toledo, OH, one of which has Parkinson’s because I found out through my studies in 2008 that it may help this illness.

One more quote from Dr. Gittleman:

“Delving Deeper into Biochemical Effects

As a nutritionist, I needed to figure out why I was feeling this wonderful mental energy. I had to know what it was about the procaine-based formula contributing to the effect. That was when I did a lot more research on procaine therapy, only to discover that alleviation of depression and improved mental well-being were well known to be the primary beneficial “side effects.” Researchers found that Aslan’s procaine-based formula acted upon the human body by normalizing acetylcholine synthesis and inhibiting the enzyme monoaminooxidase or MAO. MAO causes the breakdown of neurotransmitters called monoamines, including primary brain neurotransmitters such as dopamine, epinephrine and norepinephrine. Dr. D.S. Robinson and colleagues reported in Lancet that starting around the age of 40, the level of MAO increase is directly related to the aging process and increased prevalence of depression.

Dr. D.J. Hrachovec, reporting in 1972 in The Physiologist, published results of a comparative study showing that Gerovital-H3 had a normalizing effect on MAO levels. Dr. M.D. McFarlane, reporting his findings in Lancet, proved the increasingly inhibitory action of procaine-based therapy upon MAO levels, ranging from 17.8 to 87.7 percent, depending on the dose administered. Dr. McFarlane also found the action to be safe since it was reversible. In a double-blind study, Dr. William Zung from Duke University, North Carolina, applied procaine therapy treatment for 28 days on three groups of patients who suffered from depression. Using established psychological tests, Dr. Zung found that procaine therapy was beneficial in the treatment of depression.” (End of quote)

And as said before, Parkinson’s appear with a decrease of dopamine! So, on this day I called my friend to offer the pills I had bought for her to try them, and she is doing so. I realized that God is the author of much of these blessings. This friend is a Third Order Carmelite and two of her three nephews are priests from the Order of St. Francis de Sales. It is also interesting that the two of the priests that were present on Saturday’s afternoon Mass are Carmelites… I consider myself to be a Third Order Carmelite, and if you want to find out why I say so, you can check my history with the Carmelite Order in the PAGE’S (right) SIDE, and it will be titled, “My experience with Carmelite Saints.” I leave it up to you.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Tuesday, May 13. Feast of Our Lady of Fatima

I could not go to Mass… I was not feeling well at all. However, at 3 PM on this day, I received a teaching from her. She sent me to page 259 of the Bible. 1 Sam16 and following.  

My Mother had a big gift for me… I am sure that for theologians this is of no use since it is about a subject well known to all of us alike, and hopefully no theologian is reading this blog. Yet, for me, it was a great teaching that touched many areas for my ongoing conversion.  

In chapter 16 it says that “the Spirit of the Lord had departed from Saul, and he was tormented by an evil spirit sent by the Lord. He was advised to find somebody that could play the harp and then the evil spirit will leave him. It was recommended to call young David and sure enough, David would play and Saul would feel better. Saul asked him to come every time that he would feel this torment. Saul became very fond of him.  

Chapter 17 starts by saying that the Philistines rallied their forces for battle against the Israelites. They were stationed in one hill and the Israelites on another opposite hill, with a valley between them! A champion named Goliath of Goth, 61/2 feet tall (a medium size basketball player in our times) came out of the Philistine camp. He shouted to the ranks of the Israelites, “Why come out in battle formation? I am a Philistine and you are Saul’s servants. Choose one of your men and have him come down to me. If he beats me in combat and kills me, we will be your vassals; but if I beat him and kill him, you shall be our vassals and serve us. I defy the ranks of Israel today. Give me a man and let us fight together.” Verse 11:Saul and all the men of Israel, when they heard the challenge of the Philistines, were dismayed and terror-stricken.  (THEY HAD ABUNDANT FEAR…)

The Philistine came forward and took his stand, morning and evening for 40 days. In the mean time, Jesse, David’s father sent him with bread for his older brothers in the camp and some cheese for the field officer. The following day, David placed the sheep under someone else’s care and left to do as told. His brothers became upset with him because he was asking the details of the encounter with Goliath and his message. King Saul heard about David and called him, telling him that he could not fight the Philistine because he was a youth and Goliath had been a warrior from his youth. Yet, David told Saul how he had killed a lion and a bear that had attacked his father’s sheep and “how this uncircumcised Philistine will be as one of them because HE HAD INSULTED THE ARMIES OF THE LIVING GOD.  

(Notice how David believed in God; he had faith… and zero fear!)  In verse 37, David said, “The Lord Who delivered me from the claws of the lion and of the bear, will also keep me safe from the clutches of this Philistine.” Saul answered, “Go, the Lord will be with you.” (Here, Saul speaks of God being with David, however when they were intimidated by Goliath, faith in this God did not exist. David, on the contrary, reminds himself that if God was with him before, He will be with him again!!! There is a big difference amongst the two. One had fear; the other one, faith!!!)

David selected five smooth stones and put them in the pocket of his shepherd’s bag. When Goliath saw David, young and handsome, he held him in contempt. He then cursed David in the name of his gods. David said to Goliath, “You come to me with sword and spear and scimitar, but I come against you in the Name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel that you have insulted. Today the Lord will deliver you into my hand. I will strike you down and cut off your head. This entire multitude too, shall learn that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves. FOR  THE BATTLE IS THE LORD’S, and He shall deliver you into  our hands.”  

And David hit Goliath with a stone and killed him! Yet, later Saul became David’s enemy out of jealousy. Saul tried to kill David many times and in different ways he tried to place him in the path of the Philistines, but was not successful. David even became his son-in-law. Several chapters later, David chose to spare the life of Saul. Saul’s major sin was to doubt that God was in charge by showing so much fear… and therefore, God was not able to win all his battles. Fear is an enemy of God’s blessings…

This whole story starts with FEAR AND LACK OF TRUST IN GOD. Yet, all it took was the faith and love for God of one young Israelite. Saul was again possessed by a demon but not even the evil one could destroy David. This is a clear picture of our times, the troubles of our Catholic Church and yet, a clear depiction that nothing could harm us. The Goliath of this XXI C. is obvious: we have a world full of lies, lack of faith in God, and we kill the unborn and the weak and old without remorse. We keep playing with a new definition of marriage which Jesus Himself had established as one between a man and a woman. And we could be the David’s of the XXI C. The victory is ours as it was David’s, even than the latter sinned gravely against God in later years. Yet, David was not killed ahead of his time and was the seed that kept his descendants coming to receive the Messiah King into its ranks. St. Joseph was of the House of David.

(Let me insert here that in Mathew 19: 4-12, Jesus clearly establishes the marriage of a man with a woman and goes even further to hint that some cannot marry because they were born so; some because they were made so by others, and still a third group who would not marry for the sake of the Kingdom like religious people. I do it because in these days we should memorize these verses to answer to those who applaud same sex marriages. Our Master has clearly defined this issue.)  

I suspect that many cannot believe this truth, that God is with us, for us and that we can knock down our present Goliath without any difficulty if we truly believe in God and His mercy and work to defend His Name and His kids with our constant Yes to His will. David was not intimidated by Goliath not even once… Why is it that we spend time and more time pointing to what others do to us, when we should be believing that the battle is the Lord’s and we are simply His vessels to throw the stones where they can demolish Goliath. There is a question here that it is important to ask of ourselves and which will allow me to repeat again the basic truth in our lives of discipleship: “How can we have the faith of David in God’s mercy? I will say it several times from now on, and I am very sorry to do so, but not book or retreat or prayer will work to give us such determined trust in God, unless we submit to His will, day in and day out, without questions, always saying yes… More on it in the following stories.

Friday, May 16.

9:15 AM – I was sent to read a particular page and found the story of Joshua of chapters 6 and 7. Only one person sinned and this made the Lord stop all help to Israel to defeat the enemy. Notice what the sin of just one person can do among the rest of us. They were to defeat the city of Jesi, and not to take anything with them upon Joshua’s orders. However, one of the Israelites took a few items (money and other things) and hid them under his tent.

Joshua suffered much because of the disobedience and indiscretion of one man, and he lost 300 men when the Israelites attacked Al, even that the latter did not have that many fighters. Then we have Joshua going to converse with God regarding this fiasco (prayer), and God was able to tell him the why of the defeat. And we could say that sin does the same in 2014. The only thing that cures this abandonment by God is prayer for understanding, repentance and atonement for the sins committed (in our case, repenting and atoning for the sins of our society at large), more so for the sins of those “Catholics and all Christians” (as the people of Israel), who knew better and chose to sin!!!! Those sins have greater consequences, and yes, we must be afraid of how we corrupt our own faith. The sins of the Church have a powerful negative action on all of us, giving us fears that should not exist when God warned us not to be afraid so many times… Just the number of times that these 4 words exist as part of the Word of God, should alarm us and call us to do something about it in order NOT TO BE AFRAID… What other mandate has been repeated that many times? So, it is our chore to review why we become fearful and understand the CURE of this malady as it happened to Our Lady after her “yes” to God’s will.

But even more interesting is to read that God ordered Joshua to destroy the entire family of the one who had sinned by disobedience. If we think in these terms but in 2014, any sin, from worldly attractions, disobedience of the Commandments which is a form of not doing God’s will and therefore, an act of lack of love of God, to lack of love of neighbor in all its ways, must be repented, confessed, atoned and our way of life should be changed. Atonement is very important and our crosses are the gifts from God to keep the sins of disobeying God under control, so that we get the graces necessary not to do it again. In fact, Jesus came to atone for our sins… It is up to us to follow in His footsteps and realize that with no cross, there is no atonement…

“Do not be afraid” convey to us the message that we must be alert and not do what the one Israelite did and that took Joshua and his army to a defeat with the death of many. It must take us to commit ourselves to say “yes” to God’s will at EVERY PRESENT MOMENT in order to receive the grace not to be afraid. And God’s will starts always with our love for Him depicted by our obedience to what He has commanded us to do, with love for neighbor, using our crosses to atone for our sins and their sins, and to clean ourselves and them from fears.

In fact, this attitude of being alerted not to sin is part of His mercy as we read in Sirach 18: 11-13. “Man may be merciful to his fellow man, but the Lord’s mercy reaches all flesh, reproving, admonishing, teaching, as a shepherd guides his flock; merciful to those who accept His guidance, who are diligent in His precepts.”    .But one thing we must stay away from because it is a waste of time and a maker of resentment (even with reason), is to constantly look at the sins of my brothers and sisters in this world. Yes, we have to know about them and stop there. We must first and foremost, stay away from disobeying God’s will and in this way, keep fear away, and not matter what others do to us or to others, we know that we can defeat what they do… without fear of losing the battle, since we will be fearless…

 Instead, we must take time daily conversing with God… and it is not reading prayers that someone else wrote, unless we are led to do so. Our conversation with God is one of presence, of being in His presence within or in front the Tabernacle and adoring Him and thanking Him for all the things He has done for us, one of which is how He modeled for us how to be the best lover of neighbor. The Holy Spirit will take over and lead us to understand so many things… and become true disciples. Pointing the finger to other’s behavior is the water for resentment to grow and taking us in no time into the group that uses the bad behavior of brothers and sisters as a theme of conversation, as a theme of disgrace for our souls, because we become distracted from our own sin of not loving them where they are at, sinners as we are.

Even pointing the finger on those priests who have gravely sinned against children does not take us to help these disgraced individuals. I must love them too even if I feel upset of doing it… I need to grow in becoming a true disciple and following Jesus way of handling things, by loving all and regardless. In my case, I suffer double because these priests, whether we like or not, did worse than any other pedophile… Why? Because they were given special graces to become at one point in each Mass worldwide, “in persona Christi” and anointed to say the words that change the bread and wine into the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus Himself, and then they turned around and sinned against children. It breaks my heart because for their formation; they never were formed to have a personal relationship with Jesus and this is proven by their behavior… It only tells me that seminary professors did not know Christ personally but thought they did… and could not pass the experience to them. Had they had a true personal relationship, graces would abound and no child would have been harmed, something that we could not say from regular pedophiles, far away from experiencing the True Presence of Jesus on this earth and no anointed to bring Him to us.

Even in these moments of reality for this problem, and suffering much upon realizing the poverty of the formation of some of our priests, I must pray much that I love them where they are at… professors and pedophile priests, since Jesus would have done the same thing. My work is also to suffer and atone for all of their sins and mine as well…

I contend that Joshua, chapters 6-7, should be read and re-read here and there in order to realize what the sin of just one member can bring evil into the whole community. And often realizing at the same time, how Our Lady was able to be fearless after her perfect Yes to God’s will, and for us to do the same, in order to fight any fears with our own “yes” to everything God allows, and most importantly, every cross He allows us to carry. Our Lady’s lack of fear made her not to forget her own predicaments but not to worry about them… Part of the yes was to be totally trusting in God’s being in charge of everything in her life… So, she crowned this attitude of not worrying or lacking fear, with the obedience to the second most important commandment with love of her neighbor, Elizabeth, her own cousin, and to bring her the Holy Spirit, as well as to John, the little 6 month old baby in formation. Hmm… Interesting!

 I now wonder, was this solid “yes to God’s will,” the carrier of graces for lacking fear, and THE LACK OF FEAR the actual fruit that made her act on an evangelization trip? Are we keeping our own fallen away Catholics out of our parishes with our own lives full of fears which block any evangelization efforts? If “do not be afraid” was written SO MANY TIMES in the Bible and repeated by our own St. John Paul II, is it because it carries the KEY for evangelization of the entire world? There is no doubt that we have to win this battle against Satan and bring many to Jesus… and to stay in the Church… The Holy Spirit will do it, but I must ask Him day and night with my “yes” to whatever Jesus tells me to do… and regardless of the suffering involved. This is full trust in Jesus and His mercy will simply abound to touch many hearts in just one instant. Well, we can say “do not be afraid” and read it in the Bible and in the writings of St. John Paul II, but end up with our hands empty…

When I say, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4.

Do I truly understand what I am saying? And what can stop all evil? The Yes to God’s will and our Mom is famous for fighting with power the evil one!!!

Psalm 27: 1 – The LORD is my light and my salvation– whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life– of whom shall I be afraid?”

O.K., in order to make God my stronghold I must love Him and I can do so with my Yes to whatever He tells me… Does it make more sense if we think on those terms? In all homilies I have heard, we are reminded that Jesus is the answer for everything, and He is my light and my salvation. Yet, so many of us find ourselves doubting and worrying… Why? Because we are not attending the “School of Mary…”

Psalm 118: 6 – “The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” In order for God to be with me, I have to be one with Him and do whatever He tells me… Our Mom told us to do so at Cana…!

1John 4: 18. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

Notice, “Perfect love drives out fear,” and for perfect love to exist, a relationship among two must also exist, and this relationship starts with my total obedience to His will.

Saturday, May 17.

This was the feast of St. Paschal Baylon. Fr. Anthony in EWTN spoke of this saint and the homily was all on the Eucharist, a very well delivered talk. I belonged for several years to the parish of St. Paschal Baylon in Cleveland. The Priests covering this parish were of the Order of the Blessed Sacrament and one of them still is in contact with me. We had a 24 hour perpetual adoration. It was a great parish and I ended up in it by the work of the Holy Spirit. When we moved back to Cleveland, after being called in 1989 while in So. Bend, IN to accept jobs and those where in Cleveland, my closest parish to my home in Solon, OH, a southern suburb of East Cleveland, was a nice parish but what I heard there made me look for another one. Often the preaching was against the Vatican. When I looked for another parish, I ended up in this one of St. Paschal Baylon, a northern suburb of East Cleveland and I had to drive 25 minutes to get to it. However, it was a very Eucharistic parish and it was what I most yearned for. So, on this day, I had many memories about all this story, at the peak of the misunderstandings of Vatican II.

Sunday, May 18

The Gospel for this day started with these words, “Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith in Me’” Well, this mandate is clear… Do not fear and stop fear with our faith in Him. When at our personal judgment we get to be asked why we had fear, are we prepared to say why?

Monday, May 19.

This was my 37th anniversary of my Baptism in the Holy Spirit in the Catholic Charismatic movement, and again, Magon 519 refers my name and to May 19, and it is meant to honor the Holy Spirit.

I had a second appointment with this lady doctor endocrinologist Anita B. She told me that all the blood tests done came to be perfect and that all my liver, kidneys, thyroid, hemoglobin, electrolytes, etc. were normal. I do not even have a pre-diabetic state. She referred me to her father, a specialist in allergies. They found an appointment for the following day!  I had plenty of time to go to noon Mass and do my Holy Hour in this so wonderful anniversary day.

Tuesday, May 20.

I visited this Indian male doctor (Dr. K. B.) and father of my primary doctor Anita. He sent me to be tested for all foods and it was done this same day since the lab that does it is two blocks from his office. The lab technician who drew the blood was very nice and suffers from depressions. I was able to pass the information about carrageenan. She was so happy… 

Wednesday, May 21

On this day I heard the TV homily for the day and heard that none of us are going to have mystical experience except for a very few (I thought that it is true, but it is true is we make it so. All of us are entitled to have mystical experiences because God is just… However, we need to tune up our will to make it His… and voila, we will have those experiences…)  The Gospel spoke of how Jesus was the vine and we are the branches. So, it was said that in order to be the branches in contact with the vine and also to understand what the spiritual life is all about, we have  to be in continuous contact with Jesus, to live knowing that He is our company. The priest suggested that to keep being hooked to the vine we do it with a good confession and spending time in prayer, using Our Lady as an intercessor. It sounded beautiful and truthful and yes, these are steps conducive to this union of us branches, with Him, the vine Jesus. And this is what I have learned through many years of seeking Him. It is the truth but it does not work as we think…

How many people we know that do those things and yet their witness does not convey a true union of vine with branches? At the bottom of ANY STEPS that our Church has for us to go to Him, there is one thing that we have to do first: WE HAVE TO CONSTANTLY DO HIS WILL and no matter if it is easy or hellish.

Then, confession, prayer and Our Lady will open the doors to the Holy Spirit for us to GROW IN THE SPIRITUAL LIFE. We have to live her “yes” in order for her to get many graces for us. It is through her that we get to Jesus according to many saints, like St. Louis de Monfort, and it is her model of saying “yes” to God’s will that is the bridge that carries our repentance and prayers and Rosaries to change us and make us great witnesses of His love and mercy. Of course, I am not a theologian but this is my experience through the years… My main work is precisely to have a “yes” at the tip of my tongue for everything that happens around me in order to keep me as a branch totally cemented to the vine!  You will have a great example of what I just wrote for May 30…

When I entered my parish for Holy Hour and noon Mass, my heart was aching because I may be wrong in my beliefs as described above, and this produces pain in my soul. Immediately, my Jesus said, “Nothing will happen to you that I have not allowed and that is enough for you to realize right now. Trust in My love.” I received a page in the little Bible in my purse and it was

2 Timothy 1.

Verse 7: “For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power, love and self-control. (I started to realize that IT WAS FEAR what gave me this feeling or possibility of being wrong in my beliefs, and Jesus had come to tell me that He was in charge, and therefore to stop all fear…)

Verse 8: “So, do not be ashamed of your testimony to our Lord … but bear your share of hardship for the Gospel with the strength that comes from God.” (Wow… He was talking to me big time…)

Verse 15: “You know that everyone in Asia deserted me!”

2 Tim 2: 3 – “Bear your share of hardship along with me like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.” (It was clear that no matter how I may be affected by whatever words heard regarding God’s ways, Jesus is with me and I should simply trust in His love. Period! And actually this one occasion where I had to say “yes” to the moment because He allowed for a purpose, and yes, after His words and teaching through the words of St. Paul, I felt refreshed, happy, secured and full of joy… I had more joy than usual)

Friday, May 23.

On this day I realized that I needed a good SPIRITUAL bath with the power of my Mother in heaven and in preparation for my consecration to her for the following day, I started to pray many Rosaries (total of ten for this day). I offered the Rosaries for many intentions but according to His will, among them are:

1.On behalf of my sons and families and everyone that is listed in the community Rosary (including the Holy Father, Bishops, many Priests, EWTN – religious and employee members, my family members, friends, enemies, the U.S. government in all its branches, etc.) I asked for all of us to be able to say “yes” to the will of God with much determination and as a habit.

2. Healing of my immune system and all allergies

3. Healing of my left eye and the finding of an optometrist to order the right kind of glasses.

4. For help to finish the book and publish it without delay

5. For the conversion of family members and strangers who were dying without repentance.

And all intentions under the intercession of Our Lady Help of Christians and Saints John XXIII and John Paul II.

Saturday May 24 Feast of Our Lady Help of Christians

At 9:15 AM – I noticed that I had woken up with a pronounced indifference to everything beyond the present moment. Also, I had this desire to say yes to everything going on this day and much better than previous days. I continued praying Rosaries and slowly and with much attention to the mysteries for a total of 13. So, I had prayed a total of 23 Rosaries in 48 hours as I prayed for the battle above and following the example of Lepanto. (Little did I know that I had done so BECAUSE I would be tested and big time and these Rosaries were already winning the war of not getting upset, of not having fear and of forgiving those who would give the bad time. Amazing grace, who sweet the sound!

Well, it was my Mother’s feast and she came with a gift:

I. I understood that Our Lady had fear as on May 10th… and she repeated it for me to never forget it and she wanted me to write it again and first. Again, the Bible says that she was troubled with the words of the Archangel Gabriel. BUT when our Mother said “Yes,” all her fears disappeared judging by the actions that followed of her taking off to help her cousin even that her personal life had huge questions… It was obvious to me that doing the will of God will cure any fears as it was in her case.  Then, I realized that fear is equal to not trusting God’s love for us.

II. The other gift consisted in realizing that she also modeled for us how to be an evangelizer. She is found speaking only a few times… but this was enough to give us an idea of what evangelization consists of.

1. She managed her troubled heart (her fear) with a 100% “yes” to God’s will for her. She said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done according to your word.” We have as well to get rid of all fear when it appears. Usually the fear is about our future and what we are supposed to do. If fear exists in our mind, it only means that we are not trusting God’s love and mercy for us and that we are in disobedience to His command… not to fear. BUT WORSE, WE ARE NOT SAYING YES TO THAT PRESENT MOMENTS WILL OF GOD FOR US… So, we must sit down, find out what gives us fear and immediately say yes to it and offer the pain of saying it for personal conversion and that of others. Satan will run!!!

We our treatment of fear we ARE TRUSTING IN GOD and that only means that His mercy will come in buckets… with His assistance!

2. We find her in her evangelization trip to visit Elizabeth expressing herself with words that are also found in the Old Testament, but nonetheless, it was a personal discourse of praise to God, of awe about God and His glory. It was a statement about God’s love and mercy. She was presenting Jesus to Elizabeth as any evangelizer should do. In the power of the Holy Spirit, she blessed Elizabeth and baby John.

Therefore, we also must proclaim to others what God has done for us as well as what He has done for everyone since Adam and Eve.

Magnificat: “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for He has looked with favor on his lowly servant.

From this day on all generations will call me blessed; the Almighty has done great things for me, and holy is His Name.

He has mercy on those who fear Him in every generation.

He has shown the strength of His arm, He has scattered the proud in their conceit.

He has cast down the mighty from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly. He has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich He has sent away empty.

He has come to the help of His servant Israel, for He has remembered His promise of mercy, the promise He made to our fathers, to Abraham and his children forever.

3. She showed total abandonment to God’s will for her when Jesus at age 12 got lost and she could not find Him for three days. One thing is to say “yes” and another one to live such “yes.” She asked Him why He had stayed behind and had been found teaching in the Temple, and at the same time, His answer was not clear to her but she pondered all things in her heart and went on with her life as mother and wife. For us is the same. If we do not understand why difficult times come about, we simply say yes to them because is God’s will and ponder them in our hearts to understand later the greater picture

4. At the wedding in Cana, she became an official intercessor for us as she pronounced the famous words “Do whatever He tells you.” We have to take this work of intercessory prayer and atonement for our Church, all Christians. We have to first do whatever He tells us with our yes to His will and this self-giving is great sacrifice for others.

Sunday, May 25. Our Lady of Consolation (Shrine in Carey, Ohio)

I had much joy and believe that the 23 Rosaries prayed in the previous 48 hours plus understanding the role of Our Lady in the history of the Church, had impacted my soul and given me much hope and peace. Mother and Son are a team and she had consoled me… and a great deal.

Tuesday, May 27.

I started getting busier trying to put this blog together. My God and my all has kept me busy trying to signal how much He is with me all day long. I went to Whole Foods to buy some chicken breasts, the more expensive ones because they are truly free of any toxics and fed with just green products. I usually buy 20 breasts at the time and have to clean all fat before I grill them. The employee said, “You are here all the time. Are you coming tomorrow because we will have a sale, with two dollars per pound less?” How many places will do that for you?                   

Wednesday May 28.

I went to Whole Foods and bought 50 breasts… of chicken, my only protein with the least reaction. I went to Target to buy more Evian, 6 packs with 6 large bottles. They offered me help to the car and I said no. I felt good enough to do it myself. As I came out and got to my car, from nowhere, a Target employee came running and offered to unload the cart for me. He did not have to do it. His name was Dimitri, and I offered to pray for him. He took the empty cart and came back shortly after with my cane… which I had forgotten. Of course, it was obvious that God was all over me so that I could live this closeness to me and others. He is the same with all of us, but we have to keep our part of the deal with a huge “do unto me according to Your word.” And this way, fear is an impossible feeling.

Thursday, May 29.

Here I want to share my further training in how I have to keep alert to say yes to all that happens to me, moment by moment. Of course, by now, the Lord had been very present in very especial ways of this month of May, and of course, I was mentally prepared to be alert to His will especially with 23 Rosaries on board.

4 PM. I received a phone call with a taped message that said that I was supposed to be at 11:30 AM on Friday May 30 at the office of Dr. K. B, and to tell them if I would be there. I was totally lost… I was supposed to have an appointment on June 17 to find out regarding the results of the allergy tests to all foods, which I had had done on May 20. This doctor said that it takes 2 weeks for the results and that he was going to be on vacation and therefore, that he would see me a month later. When I received that recorded announcement, my reaction was one of fury!!! I took a deep breath, said “yes” to the moment and looked for his office phone number and thank God that the office girls were there.

Well, they had not let me know about the change for the appointment. I had no problem with my schedule and said that I would be there, BUT TO FIRST CHECK and see if the results from the allergy tests would be there already (9 days later). They checked and said that they were in and that the doctor was not yet on vacation! Here came Satan to bug me!

Friday, May 30

I arrived fairly early and still a little unhappy with the situation. Just before I arrived, my phone rang and it was a taped message from Walgreens pharmacy saying that my blood pressure medication that I had ordered the day before was not accepted by the insurance company!!!!! Wow! God was testing me… I started to smile and joy overcame me… Of course, this was a beautiful training and all of His signs of the entire month were to keep on alert that He is in charge. My work is always to agree with Him…

At the VERY SAME TIME, the allergist’s office was alerting me to much disorganization by changing my appointment and not even calling me. I kept praying interiorly for love for all of them. I went in and again the doctor assistant started asking what I was there for… My fury started again. She asked me about my allergies and I refused to go over them… They are many and told her that everything was in my file since May 20. The doctor came and wanted to know why I was there for? Ouch!!! He said that the lab report was there and it turned out to be the lab report that his daughter and my primary physician had reported to me as normal back on May 19. In other words, the lab results were the ones she had asked for and that were normal. Then the questions came of when I had the blood drawn for my allergies and what lab I went to? I kept praying and saying, “Yes, Lord, may Your will be done.” I knew that after this horrible moment, I had to drive far away to Walgreen’s to try to find out what they meant by not been able to fill my prescription and I needed them…

The doctor left my room and ordered to check if the results were available from this laboratory regarding my allergy to foods. 15 minutes later, they got them via fax. He came in and gave me copy. I AM NOT ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING… I almost passed out! THEN AND ONLY THEN, he explained that there are two types of studies: one of immediate allergens present in the blood. Another one, of delayed presence of allergens… But that the delayed test is not covered by any insurance… and therefore they do not do it… My disenchantment with the medical profession grew… and yet I was calm and a certain joy was present. Of course, this blog had to be finished and even the change of date for this appointment was very possible that had been instigated by Satan. The doctor told me to check some web sites to learn how much fish oil I had to take to help the pain in my knees since it is anti-inflammatory… Of course, I only can have cod liver oil because other fish kill me with pain… And of course I take fish oil daily but not in the enormous amounts he said. My papers from my food allergies of 2002 are clear on that. ALSO, I could see myself without any narcotic for pain in my knees and left ankle because I do not have any allergies to food…

He recommended checking with Dr. Barry Sears’ Internet site under whom he received training. I know Barry well and he is the one who came up with Zone bars in the late 1990’s… For the delayed check of allergies, he recommended Dr. Mark Hyman, the man whom I know super well, who wrote the Ultramind Solution and who led me to understand the reason for my memory loss. I went to San Francisco in 2009 to meet him. He has a clinic up in Massachusetts and he does the complete check for allergies… but not covered by insurance. And yes, I have considered the possibility of going to his clinic, and the truth is that I not need to see this doctor K.B at all. I had learned zero. I was in a worse condition with papers saying that I have no allergies… It is dangerous to order partial tests to get nowhere. He said to find answers in the Internet and to have other tests on my own and when I have the results to make an appointment with him for his advice. Ouch!

Of course, it is the end of this quest. And what do I have to do? Who cares… I am totally lost…  I am only TELLING YOU THAT ONE THING IS CERTAIN: I cannot have any fear. GOD IS ALIVE AND WELL AND HE WILL FIGHTMY BATTLES… Mr Satan lost this round… I left the office with a huge smile. I knew what had happened… It is possible that this appointment was placed today just for me to TELLYOU THAT GOD IS ALIVE… No doubt about it because I has super happy… I left for the Walgreen’s battle…

I found a very nice old Asian male pharmacist and he said that the insurance would not cover because I had used too much Lisinopril for my blood pressure. Of course, because many DIFFERENT doctors have been ordering stuff for me since I lost my primary physician, and getting a new primary care doctor took forever and with fiascos like with this young Doctor of Osteopathy… My gastro-enterologist ordered the latest batch of Lisinopril since I had no primary physician and he just ordered 10 mg a day, which was the wrong dose, but for the mean time. Of course, I used more than that and the secondary health insurance will not pay for using SO MUCH… until next July 7th!!!! Ouch! Our Medical system is dying.

Ah, but God was there… I was ordered a much higher dose in the times of my first primary physician who was fired by this medical group… and I have tried so hard to have Walgreen’s stop that order since they keep tweeting me that I need a refill, but was not able to do it, even with a personal visit to this pharmacy… So, this old pharmacist checked and the refills still exist and yes, the insurance company would pay for it… Of course, my God knew all along what would happen in my training not to be afraid and to say yes to His will at all cost, that this order did not disappear despite my human efforts. PLEASE LAUGH… Yes, I was acting with human reason. God was in charge with divine wisdom and today I left this pharmacy with ample amount of blood pressure medication! Enough until July 7th and then, have someone else order the right amount.., probably this young lady Dr. A.B.

Closing message:

I wanted to go into the Bible with thousands of quotes to not have fear, and as it turned out, this blog would THEN become a book… and you would spend too much time reading it. However, I want to share just one section from the Internet… and hopefully for the rest of your lives, YOU WILL NEVER HAVE FEAR, because God is with us in real time…

I have no answers for my dilemma of allergies to foods, a real one because the pain in my knees after I eat is real… I may not have any more narcotic ordered simply because science cannot prove that I have food allergies, and yet, the test was partial. NOW I HAVE TO PAY OUT OF POCKET for a complete test out of State, like I did in 2002 BUT on my own. I wonder what other patients who are not doctors would do with my predicament! When I write this I start with a slight sense of fear that I will have tons of pain and not medication for it… I cannot take Aleve or Tylenol… because of my recent bleeding from 4 ulcers. I cannot make more ulcers. Also, I am super allergic to Tylenol… However, I know that all my life is full of events that He allows and He solves them for me, precisely to be able to share with the entire world that Jesus, the Christ, is a God of love and mercy and will supply all my needs and that He is alive. So, when you may have any fear for whatever, whether people judge you and you are innocent, or your health becomes a mess with no answers, your God and mine is there and He will solve the problem His way, in His time and we will simply smile and be filled with joy…!!!

Here are the last two installments:

I.‘Be Not Afraid’

Marian Press has released the Beatification Edition of John Paul II: The Great Mercy Pope, by Fr. George W. Kosicki, CSB, and David Came. The following is an excerpt from chapter 2 (This have been copied from the Internet without permission from the authors)

John Paul II began his papacy with the cry: "Be not afraid!"

“When, on October 22, 1978, I said the words ‘Be not afraid! in St. Peter’s Square, I could not fully know how far they would take me and the entire Church. Their meaning came more from the Holy Spirit, the Consoler, promised by the Lord Jesus to His disciples, than from the man who spoke them. Nevertheless, with the passing of the years, I have recalled these words on many occasions. … Why should we have no fear? Because man has been redeemed by God. … The power of Christ’s Cross and Resurrection is greater than any evil which man could or should fear” (Threshold of Hope, 1994).

On one special occasion he recalled these words, "Be not afraid" while at the Shrine of The Divine Mercy in Poland, June 7, 1997. He related them to the abandonment of self-giving that is the "Law of the Gift" in the message of Divine Mercy:

“And it is a message that is clear and understandable for everyone. Anyone can come here, look at this image of the merciful Jesus, His Heart radiating grace, and hear in the depths of his own soul what Blessed Faustina heard: "Fear nothing. I am with you always" (Diary, 586).

“And if this person responds with a sincere heart: ‘Jesus, I trust in You,"’he will find comfort in all his anxieties and fears. In this "dialogue of abandonment," there is established between man and Christ a special bond that sets love free. And ‘there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear’ (1 Jn 4:18).”

At the canonization of St. Faustina, John Paul II again related the prayer "Jesus, I trust in You!" to his theme of "Be not afraid:"

Father George W. Kosicki is a longtime collaborator with the Marian Fathers of the Immaculate Conception in spreading the message of Divine Mercy. In 1987, he headed their Divine Mercy Department in Stockbridge, Mass., which was responsible for editing and proofing the English translation of the Diary of St. Maria Faustina Kowalska.

II. When you have a rough day, or may not be feeling well or are disenchanted of the Church or of our yourself, please come to this site and look for May 2014, the month dedicated to our Mom in heaven, and go to the very end and review these verses. Satan has been after me so that I do not write and post this blog, but God took over this battle and I ended up with a tremendous desire to fight the Goliath named fear… In the future you will learn of how He will help me to find out about my food allergies… and not being deceived by a medical practice that is false… I will also have someone order pain medication or I will be cured by the grace of God. Of course, my book will have a chapter on just food allergies…!!!

Please pray for me and most especially for my spiritual health… You all who read this blog are remembered daily in my community Rosary. We can be little David’s but with God, we can change the world if we do “whatever He tells us.” BUT PLEASE, NO FEAR AND A BIG YES TO EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN EACH OF YOUR LIVES and the Holy Ghost will win all battles, personal and communal… I know that I will be persecuted with innuendos even by my Christian community because they do not know that I am here to do only what He wants of me. Period. And I have enough crosses to keep me right in His will, of course, if I say yes to every cross and with great delight! Thank you for your prayers.

FROM THE INTERNET: “Below is a list of scripture verses on fear. In the NIV bible, there are more than 300 scripture verses on fear; these are just a few. Read through the list, find a few favorites, and memorize them. Better yet, print a copy and keep it in your handbag or computer bag! When you find yourself waiting- such as carpool, at a doctor appointment, or for a class to begin- pull out the list and read it.”

Source: Verses taken from New International Version (NIV), New Living Translation (NLT) and Amplified Bible (Amp) (Had I have more time without all the things scheduled for yesterday that were not expected, I would have checked these verses and write them from a Catholic Bible only; yet, it was not meant to be.

1. For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 NLT

2. Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Luke 12:32 NIV

3. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matt 10:31 NIV

4. I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. John 14:27 NLT

5. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9 NLT

6. But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats. 1 Peter 3:14 NLT

7. One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision and told him, “Don’t be afraid! Speak out! Don’t be silent! Acts 18:9 NLT

8. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 1 John 4:18 NLT

9. When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Psalm 56:3 NIV

10. In God, whose word I praise— in God I trust and am not afraid.  What can mere mortals do to me? Psalm 56:4 NIV

11. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you. Psalm 91:4-8 NLT

12. They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them. Psalm 112:7 NLT

13. Do not tremble; do not be afraid. Did I not proclaim my purposes for you long ago? You are my witnesses—is there any other God? No! There is no other Rock—not one! Isaiah 44:8 NLT

14. I am the one who comforts you. So why are you afraid of mere humans, who wither like the grass and disappear? Isaiah 51:12 NLT

15. Be not afraid of them [their faces], for I am with you to deliver you, says the Lord. Jeremiah 1:8 Amplified

16. But Jesus overheard them and said to Jairus, “Don’t be afraid. Just have faith.” Mark 5:36 NLT

17. They had rowed three or four miles when suddenly they saw Jesus walking on the water toward the boat. They were terrified, but he called out to them, “Don’t be afraid. I am here!” John 6:19-20 NLT

18. I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4 NLT

19. Say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, and do not fear, for your God is coming to destroy your enemies. He is coming to save you.” Isaiah 35:4 NLT

20. Listen to me, you who know right from wrong you who cherish my law in your hearts. Do not be afraid of people’s scorn, nor fear their insults. Isaiah 51:7 NLT

21 Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of widowhood. Isaiah 54:4 NLT

22. For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears.He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. Zephaniah 3:17 NLT

23. Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Matt 10:28 NLT

24. We have been rescued from our enemies so we can serve God without fear, in holiness and righteousness for as long as we live. Luke 1:74-75 NLT

25. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. Romans 8:38 NLT

26 We faced conflict from every direction, with battles on the outside and fear on the inside.  But God, who encourages those who are discouraged, encouraged us by the arrival of Titus. His presence was a joy. 2 Corinthians 7:5-6 NLT

27. Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. Hebrews 12:28 NLT

28. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 1 John 4:18 NLT

29. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me Psalm 23:4 NIV

30. Do not be afraid of anyone, for judgment belongs to God. Deuteronomy 1:17 NIV

31. Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God himself will fight for you. Deuteronomy 3:22 NIV

32. The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1 NIV

33. He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” Mark 4:40 NIV

34. Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.” Mark 5:36 NIV

35. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. Revelation 1:17 NIV