(Once again, there are more spaces between paragraphs that are in the original, but Word Press site seems to be at odds with this blog! I was not able to publish a nice quote from a Franciscan priest regarding the Holy Angels and John XXIII, since it would use very long lines beyond the right edge of this blog).
It has been very difficult to finish this blog for this month and I have no idea why… I know that my Lord wants me to write it, yet it is probable that the posting had to be done in His time, not mine, in order for Him to show me a few things that I needed to share with you. I always start with my agenda for timing of whatever I do and end up forgetting that every detail of my life should be under His guidance. He has answers for everything, and this month was no exception.
In the middle of this Lenten season, God worked much in making me remember our Mother in heaven and probably in preparation for the celebration of Easter. There could not be an Easter for us when we remember His death and resurrection followed by the coming of the Holy Spirit, without her work. 1) She was the first evangelizer by allowing with her yes the coming of the Messiah King to this world, so that He could show us the way and how the merits of His death made us sons and daughters of our Father in heaven. 2) She also ran to her cousin and showed us what is to forget about ourselves and following the time that God has for everything in our lives. 3) In all these events, she hinted us what kind of relationship we must have with the Messiah King, which is one of love like the one between a mother and a son or like the one she must have had with Him…
Therefore, all evangelization must be done out of love or saying it in another way, it must start with love for God with our “yes” to His will and love for our neighbor, and there is no greater love than suffering and praying for their salvation… I want to repeat something that He reminds me to work at it all the time and it is improving my personal relationship with Jesus, and this can only happen with our yes to His will.
Ah, but this yes to His will must be radical… like hers was. She gave it all and always in the name of loving God and neighbor. She teaches us the way. This makes her the “star” of evangelization, something that God wanted to underline to us with her first appearance on this earth at Tepeyac, MX. She converted millions in a short time… Is this a hint or what? It is super obvious that we cannot talk of evangelization without realizing that it requires a review in each of our lives of the elements learned in the “school of Mary.” It is easy to say that we must evangelize and take it as a chore, as a service, but not something born out of our love for God and His will for us, which must be understood and practiced on a daily basis in our own lives.
I am so sure of the above and more than ever. When He sends me to find people that need to learn about how to reverse dementia and/or avoid depression by not eating foods with carrageenan, they feel loved and love always carries His Spirit to the other. In some instances, I briefly say that I am very religious but they get the message of someone believing in God, as the giver to me of the gifts that I am giving them. In every case, I feel this surge of love for my brother or sister and they realize it as well and love me back. I will share some stories about it.
And in order to say yes to His will in her radical way, it is not easy and in many cases not only we forget but we tend to take over this job of leading our lives. So, our daily prayer should be the first major effort and asking God the Holy Trinity to fall in love with His Eucharistic Presence, and this request better be made in front of the Tabernacle. And of course, He will answer such request… In my case, sometimes I get there ready to pray 2-3 Rosaries and He will stop it. Even then and wishing to pray Rosaries, He does not want me to develop my own agenda. Some days, He will allow me to say one Rosary and leave the others to be prayed at home. He will then give me extraordinary teachings using the Scriptures. Sometimes, we just spend the time in total silence. I worship Him in silence and awe and He loves me profoundly. It is like a spiritual vaccination for the spiritual life. Other times, He will allow me to pray 3 Rosaries, but asking me to pay much attention to each mystery. I presume that it is called a Holy Hour because we purposely spend one hour in the Presence of God… living with us on this earth… Just contemplating such truth is enough to make us refrain from our own agenda for this moment of being in His Presence and for other times of the day.
Here are the stories for this month.
Sunday, March 30
I wrote in my journal: “
My Mother is terrific. When I sit down and she wants to say something, if she finds out that I am worrying, she says, "We cannot talk unless you stop worrying."
Tuesday, April 1
Holy Hour: He gave me permission to say several Rosaries per day but reminding me that just saying many Rosaries just to get whatever I need is not a good practice. When I said 27 Rosaries during the US presidential election day of 2004, it was done with His permission and never asking for President Bush (No. 2) to win… Always, I had to ask for His will to be done for these elections!!! I have written before how in the early hours Senator Kerry (Catholic and prochoice) was much ahead in the exit polls. Of course, I did not know it at the time but learned about it that same night. By the end of the day, His will was to elect a Protestant prolife president!
This time He wants 4 or more Rosaries/day but to be offered for specific intentions and first and most importantly for me to finish the book… He said that I have to ask first for those things that help others… I wrote in my journal: “This Lent I will miss everything in our Parish that will happen in the evening hours (of course due to my bad left eye and difficulty in driving in the dark through a busy expressway, especially as people are returning home). So, I needed to grow and truly believe that He is in charge and accept His holy will with great passion. On this day I prayed 6 Rosaries. And yes, at the end of April when I am writing this blog, I must say that such intention was granted. I have advanced very much in the writing of the book…More comments about it later.
On this day and while getting information already gathered for the book, I found some old emails and they revealed interesting moments of my past life.
Here is an email I wrote on June 9, 2008. Notice how God was using me to love my neighbors and that time I was too tired to even realize it… Another message from June 14 will reveal how the Mercy of God was all over me at all times… and during all major events, which is important to bring up in these days after the glorious Feast of Divine Mercy.
Email of June 9, 2008: My kids: we closed and I have no house in Toledo. I promised the new owners to leave by July 4, the latest. My God was acting up to the end. For example, the lady representing the Chicago Title Company when she found out that I was a retired anesthesiologist, she told me that she vomits profusely after anesthetics. And yes, I have the answer to this malady happening in about 5 % of the population… Many get nausea and vomiting and regular drugs work, but only a few patients (5%) will vomit for hours and nothing will stop it, except and old drug…. I gave her the prescription: I had 100% success since the early 90’s when by "grace" I figured it out… I had patients come back to give me a hug for having not only stop this nightmare they suffer for each general anesthetic, but for giving them the secret… It is not written in our anesthesia literature!!! SO, THIS WILL BE ALSO ADDED IN THE FAMOUS BOOK TO BE WRITTEN FOR CARRAGEENAN, ASPARTAME AND FLUORIDE…
The title company that processed the sale of the house was changed about 2 weeks ago to this Chicago Title Co, and it meant that God wanted me to find this woman to help her and for me to remember of this pearl that nobody knows about it, except for anesthetists that I have shared it with. I also seemed to have helped the buyer’s realtor with some naturopathic information I sent her… This morning she said that I changed her life. She had come crying for her dog on the day of the inspection of the house to process the loan, and in retrospect, I realized that one does not cry so much for a dog who was simply scared (almost hit by a car). It became obvious that this was probably a case of depression… So, she received of course, the story of carrageenan and aspartame. (End of email)
(April 2014: Notice the beauty of God placing us in certain places to help our neighbor! If we do not love our neighbor, it is not because He is not always thinking in loving all of us… even in the little things…)
Email: June 14, 2008
My kids: the auctioneer came yesterday and as always, he wanted to talk more about God as anything else… He was awestruck with the beauty of the house… He thought I had married a very rich man…!!!! Amazing how we women are misunderstood… He wanted to auction even the art pieces which have no price… I made a bunch of them… to begin with, the ones with petit point… Then he wanted for sure the one station of the Cross from England from the XVII C about Jesus being helped by Simon the Cyrene… No way, Jose I said… Of course, this Station of the Cross big painting belonged to a Passionist monastery in England. Even St. Paul of the Cross (founder of this Order) wants to go to California (his large painting that I also got in this antique store) and I am seriously thinking of cutting the painting and trash the heavy wooden frame… The auctioneer never tried to convert me… Good for him… On the contrary, he told me that the gift he will give his own father this Sunday for Father’s Day it is to take him to Mass to St. Joe, Maumee… Amazing… He attends Cedar Creek Church, a charismatic local Protestant large church. So, it was obvious that he was a fallen away Catholic but very religious. He will take everything in my house at the end of this month… This in itself is a miracle… because I found him via these women who came to help me out in the house and realized that I needed and auctioneer and gave me his name, supposedly the best in lower Michigan. God has all details taken care of… I am amazed…
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Message given through Mirjana from Our Lady Queen of Peace in Medjugorje
"Dear children, with a motherly love I desire to help you for your life of prayer and penance to be a sincere attempt of drawing closer to my Son and His divine light – that you may know how to separate yourselves from sin. Every prayer, every Mass and every fasting is an attempt of drawing closer to my Son, a reminder of His glory and a refuge from sin – it is a way to a renewed union of the good Father and His children. Therefore, my dear children, with hearts open and full of love, cry out the name of the Heavenly Father that He may illuminate you with the Holy Spirit. Through the Holy Spirit you will become a spring of God’s love. All those who do not know my Son, all those thirsting for the love and peace of my Son, will drink from this spring. Thank you. Pray for your shepherds. I pray for them and I desire that they may always feel the blessing of my motherly hands and the support of my motherly heart."
(She keeps mothering us in a big way. Later I will tell you a story about how she led me to visit this site of her alleged apparitions which I believe are true, and how it gave me an extraordinary chapter for my spiritual life regarding our devotion to the Holy Angels).
Friday, April 4, 2014
I have to share over and over with you that yes…. God works overtime when the Rosary is prayed for good things and according to His will. As I just mentioned, He wanted me to pray for special intentions and the first one was finishing the book… With these shootings at Fort Hood, the young man had depressions and was treated for them. He apparently had an altercation that made him angry, which led to the shooting. Well, depression shows up first with anger… You may not see depression fully developed and instead, we can find some bouts of anger here and there in someone who normally is nice. I started wondering if he was one more victim of eating the wrong food… So, I must publish the book at all cost. These stories make me feel very guilty.
Sunday, April 6
My Mother said to me, "You are seeing so many miracles since you have been praying more Rosaries per day, but this is also to hint you that you MUST PRAY THE ENTIRE ROSARY EVERY DAY, all the days of your life… and simply to keep a grasp on the evil one… Satan will try very hard to fight you in many angles… and you have to fight him back with the Rosary, a beautiful story of the life of Jesus… that also asks me to intercede for you and yours."
And sure enough, one of these miracles is that I have a constant desire to write the book , and even more, I am doing it with ease… Now I know how Satan was detaining me for years to finish this project and I never thought about him being behind it… and now the Rosary freed me from this work of Satan in my mind… Huh! If we only believed in Satan… and ask our Mom to help us defeat him and remind us that the spiritual battle is ongoing and well depicted in the Scriptures!
Monday, April 7
Notes as written in my journal:
I was at the Rheumatologist office. She found me in great shape and I DO NOT HAVE RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS, a worse diagnosis than simple osteo-arthritis of the knees. I do not have to see her anymore. I had to come back home to eat something and drive back to Walnut Creek for Holy Hour and the Penance Service in my parish… I arrived at 5:30 PM. I had an awesome Holy Hour with the entire community since they have been celebrating on Monday’s a weekly Holy Hour for Lent. MY JESUS WAS VERY TALKATIVE. He kept saying not to worry about anything since He was in charge!!! I apologized tons of times for not being a true lover of my neighbor when I have failed big time to lay down my life for them… The Deacon said that last night the youth after Mass, had watched the Passion of the Christ… and that he had done so also… He was fascinated… He was asking if some of us had seen it… Of course, I was led to see it in Toledo 22 times in 2004 and 2005. Yet, I had never really understood why…
It was on this night that I got it… By reviewing His Passion so many times with very clear images of His suffering pictured in my brain, He was trying to call me to lay down my life for my brothers and sisters in a unique consistent way, and that is, by accepting every suffering with a huge yes in atonement for their sins as He did in His Passion… All along I had prayed for the salvation of souls but not with the urgency and love and dedication as He laid down His life for us…So, I apologized tons of times while in Holy Hour and told Him that His call for me to live on this earth 12 years or more was meeting my "yes" to suffer for them… and preaching His Presence in the Eucharist as a personal experience. During my Reconciliation, I confessed my sin of not truly accepting my sufferings for them… and wasting such suffering… My confessor said that I should never look to suffer more… I corrected him since he does not know me well and said, “No, I do not seek sufferings. I have enough (pointing to my cane,) and that is what I am wasting to use for the sake of others.” He then smiled! I was done with confession by 7:10 PM and lo and behold, the sun was still out and I WAS ABLE TO DRIVE BACK WITHOUT THE PROBLEM OF BEING DARK OUTSIDE, again, a nightmare for driving, especially when the traffic is still a little heavy… My Lord had won every battle for me this day and as He kept saying during Holy Hour: "I am in charge. Do not ask questions about anything in your life."
My Lent is settled: the main theme is that I am willing to live longer and to suffer whatever, in order to atone for the sins of my brothers and sisters… My "passions" will be accepted on their behalf in order to truly say that I will be laying down my life for my neighbor and as He did. I have been saying several Rosaries for the last 10 days or so and I have worked in my book at least 10 hours since… A true miracle… Suddenly I have become addicted to finishing it… (Once more, no doubt that the Rosary is powerful if in accordance with God’s will).
Tuesday, April 8
Just before 1 PM, I was taken on a stretcher to this GI (gastrointestinal) small room in this surgery center. I was given the sedation and in 5 minutes I was asleep and by 1:15 PM I woke up and Dr. D.V. said that my ulcers are gone… He was very happy… which means that the VSL#3, as he had promised, did the job. Within 10 minutes I was told to change and we were home just before 2 PM. Obviously I was drunk… but now I even remember everything, which means that this young anesthesiologist gave me just enough and not too much. He was American born but from Indian parents and a gem of a man, a very humble one besides.
Every person in that surgery center was simply adorable… So, the experience was fantastic and on top of it, I now know that if I eat something that I am very allergic to, I am not too worried about the inflammatory effect on the ulcers because they do not exist. I gave a letter to Dr. V. with the story of what happened with Dr. Mathew W. and asked him to recommend a primary physician to me.
Wednesday, April 9
Today I went to Mass to thank my Lord for His love… The previous two days were going to be hard or so I thought… and I was ready and very willing to offer the suffering in atonement for the sins of the Church, my family, myself, etc… Yet, they turned out to be extraordinary days where I was treated so well that no suffering was involved… but He knew my intention and probably accepted it as a sacrifice even if I did not suffer. He said to offer my Rosaries for the decision of Dr. V. regarding recommending a primary physician. It is interesting that I never think of these things on my own. I always have to be reminded to be one step ahead of Satan and not to worry about it, but to keep my spiritual battle won at all times with the holy Rosary! In the days that I was so persecuted in my professional life, how I wished I would have grown much more in understanding Satan as I do now. It would have helped me a lot praying Rosaries much before a decision, not only for me to hear the Holy Spirit but for my Mother to step on the head of Satan as she is the master able to do so to avoid his influence on the people that I would deal with for future jobs… I also missed the opportunity to offer my sufferings for the people who persecuted me… I truly wasted precious tools to love my neighbor. How sad!
Yet, those crosses were so important in order for my faith, hope and love to grow. I also think at times that the major errors from doctors for the birth of sons 3 and 4 plus at the dental chair with my mercury intoxication, could have been at least tamed, had I being more alert to the spiritual battle going on around all of us… How little we believe in the devil and it is all over the Bible from beginning to end and still working full time against our Church and each one of us. We do not hear about Satan much from the ambo especially in the past 30 years, although nowadays he is being mentioned more often. Again and again, it should never be a matter of worrying about it… Jesus’ death and Resurrection paralyzed the devil, yet we have to have to say “yes” to God’s will because that is what Satan refused to do… plus pray the Rosary to be protected in a formidable way. He uses people to lie to us with worldly agendas as ways of living a “happy” life… Television and the Internet are full of these lies… It is obvious that some souls show evidence in the media of his action and yet, we fail to fight him by offering our crosses for the souls of those who are tied up with his division, accusations, lies, etc. and worse, having them spread those errors.
In one more instance, the Rosary was a powerful instrument of love for others because after Holy Mass and praying two Rosaries, I went to Whole Food Health Market (organic products) and Sandra, may be about 40+ years old, came to help me to find something in the vitamin department. Shortly after, we were commenting in how our present day doctors are so off clue regarding nutrition to prevent disease. This topic led me to share with her about my return of memory loss and she said that her father is getting to a point with dementia that concerns his children. She wanted to know about my case and I promised to give her the story in writing when I go there next Sunday after Mass. It so happens that she will work this Sunday and she almost cried after my story… She kept embracing me over and over and thanking me for the info. (I did take it the following Sunday via a mini Sam disc and she was elated).
Friday, April 11
Well, today I tried to get to church as early as possible. I already had said the family Rosary with EWTN and during my Holy “plus” Hour, I prayed 3 more Rosaries. I left and felt the urge to go to Harvest, another health food store. I needed something else and of course I get 10% off of my purchase with the receipt of the previous visit if I bought more than $50. I really hate to go there around the noon time because the area is super busy with traffic tie ups. However, I felt comfortable and healthy enough to do it. Notice how God was actually managing my time for my next appointment somewhere else!
After this store, what I truly needed was to visit a supermarket, Lucky in Pleasant Hills and which I had postponed for two days. So, I did go to this supermarket. I was at the end of the store and needed to get something that was very high up in the shelf and found a man in his late forties but tall!!! He was buying wine and I asked him for the favor to get it for me since there was no employee around. He came and helped me and somehow we started a conversation. Actually he did not want to move away and this led me to share my story of dementia and also of depression with carrageenan. He was super interested. Eventually I told him that if he ever knew of someone with depression, to ask them to drink a can of Ensure, which has carrageenan and that if they got depressed in the next two hours, that they suffer of what I do. He started to have tears in his eyes. Then he told me that is sister suffers from depressions and no drugs have alleviated her problem. Eventually we said good-bye and he hugged me for an eternity… He said, “You are the most loving person I have ever met and please write the book you mentioned because we need this information.” He already had asked me how to get it and I said to Google my name in about 6 months (and I was fairly certain to say so because I still have this desire to write and write to finish it since I am praying several Rosaries per day with the first intention to finish it ASAP…) He pulled a card and a pen and wrote my entire name. I added the M.D. at the end, something that I do not use anymore, but in this case, it will be more credible for readers to start reading the contents from a doctor and not just from a Hispanic woman with no medical expertise!… Unfortunately, discrimination is alive… Many of us have and do suffer it… and being a woman and Hispanic have negative messages for many brains.
I paid for my goodies and I was offered help to take them to the car. A lady, in her mid forties who was bagging my stuff came with me to help me. She was super nice. I said, “I will give you a gift but hopefully I have not told you about it before. She said, “No, this is my second day in the job here at Lucky’s.” So I told her about my dementia story. She also started to show tears because her mom has to be watched very carefully since she is starting to forget everything… NOTICE THAT IN EVERY CASE, there was a certain time for me to find these people at a certain point! If I had not gone to Harvest out of fear for the heavy noon traffic, I would not have found my two clients… While I was talking to her in the parking lot as she was placing my things in the car, out of the blue, my left lens of my eye glasses simply jumped to the cement floor. No doubt that it had to be an exterior force since as it turned out, the frame around the left lens became apart… because a tiny screw had become loose. I need these glasses to read labels in high places of supermarket shelves. My other much older pair, granny glasses, are not good. The new ones are wrong and need to be changed but at least I can read stuff at a certain distance like in the supermarket. I immediately realized that I could not even go shopping without these glasses. I thought of running to the ophthalmologist office but that was far away and who knows if I could find the person that takes care of ordering the glasses in his office… and who adjusts them. Later at home, I waited for my son and he was able to put them together. The tiny screw was still there… I BET YOU ANY MONEY THAT SATAN was furious with me as I was finding people to love.
I wrote in my journal: “This late afternoon, I realized that God is sending me clients with serious problems that my information can address but apparently just to signal to me of the importance of writing this book. And my Ma also added more wood to the fire… She asked me to open X page in the Bible and it was 1Kings 3. In there, in a dream God ask Solomon to choose whatever he wants and He will give it to him. Solomon responded, “‘Give your servant an understanding heart to judge your people and to distinguish right from wrong’…The Lord was pleased that Solomon made this request. So, God said to him, ‘Because you have asked for this – neither for riches, nor for the life of your enemies, but for understanding so that you may know what is right, I will do as you requested…. In addition I give you what you have not asked for’…”
(And you and I have read this story many times before)
My Ma then said to me, “There you have it… Because Solomon only asked to love his neighbor with equity and care by being just to them, God was pleased with his answer and on top gave him many riches… In your case, never forget that you are here on earth seeking the good of your neighbor in all instances and as the Holy Spirit leads you and He will give you all that you need besides.”
It was a super lesson! Wherever I am, whatever I do, I am in the mission field and seeking to love my neighbor at ALL TIMES as the Holy Ghost guides me. This is one of the most important truths that I must live day and night. And if this is such an important truth, I must do my best to ingrain it in my neurons and always think that I get up in the mornings to evangelize but under God’s plans… Until evangelization or the greatest possible love for brothers and sisters, truly become the norm of my life, which leads me to be attentive and with a big yes to do whatever He tells me, my so called efforts of evangelization will be just a human effort, and as such, will be lacking a lasting power of the Holy Ghost in the souls of others producing many fruits. The Holy Spirit, the love between the Father and Son, only recognizes love in our hearts since He is love. Therefore, to evangelize others I need to convert myself first and make of evangelization, what it was for our Mother… a must go and serve others in love… and the rest it is taken care by God Himself. Here again is the school of Mary, a radiant model of evangelization.
This was the very first time that I have read this passage and truly understood that Solomon chose first and foremost to obey the second most important commandment. And yes, in the last 3 weeks or so, I am totally crazy about doing His will at all cost and suffer with whatever is hard for me in order to offer it up in atonement for the sins of my brothers and sisters. Suffering has become like a gift to be given for others for the sake of evangelization. Abandonment to His Divine Providence has become a piece of cake and my joy has increased a lot… THEN I REALIZED THAT I HAVE BEEN PRAYING AT LEAST FOUR ROSARIES/day IN THIS SAME PERIOD OF TIME and it has changed my heart. I truly seem to have lost interest in what is next for my life or the sequence of events and timing. I am ready to do what He has said for me to do but with indifference as to how and when and no more why’s or why not’s. If He has made so many appointments with brothers and sisters to help them out, I KNOW AS A FACT THAT HE WILL TAKE CARE OF ALL DETAILS, AND SOME WILL COME WITH SOME SUFFERING, BUT THIS SUFFERING CAN BE USED TO BRING HIM SOULS…It is a win-win situation.
Also, this is a huge battle that He has won for me against Satan, and of course, even my eye glasses were acting up… But this internal joy is simply a dream! For this Holy Week, I will miss a lot to participate in the Lenten different preparations for Easter Sunday… I doubt that I can make it even to the Holy Thursday evening Mass…My son works all day and I cannot add to him more hours to take me. We are planning to go for the Holy Saturday Vespers Easter Mass, and that way to avoid the larger crowds on Sunday.
The end times are here: famous Pastor Rick Warren, who founded and has a mega-church near Los Angeles, the Saddleback Church (47,000 people or so), talked to Raymond Arroyo two weeks in a row in his program “The World Over.” His favorite T.V. station is EWTN!!! Some years ago, he wrote a famous book, “A Purpose Driven Life,” and now he and his wife tithe 97% of their income… Recently, the Vatican sent some 40 Bishops to talk to him about the methods he uses to bring people in… He is the one who invited in 2010, Dr. Mark Hyman, Dr. Daniel Amen and Dr. Oz to create a diet (now known as the Daniel diet) to lose pounds, and his congregation lost one quarter million pounds in one year… Warren said that Pope Francis has fulfilled everything necessary to bring Jesus to others… It is apparent that Pope Francis is a phenomenon in our Church… Nicaragua has had 4 earthquakes in the last 48 hours. Today they had a 6.2 one which also was felt in Costa Rica. Chile also had a recent earthquake. We are seeing the end times era coming to be exactly as Jesus described them.
Saturday, April 12
I was able to watch the talks given at EWTN’s meeting in Vancouver from the previous week. They were simply awesome… Fr. Horgan married my third son and wife who is from Vancouver although born in Eastern Canada. It was fun to watch since I met him at the time of the wedding some 9 years+ ago. Blessed be EWTN and all involved with this magnificent ministry towards all of us in the entire world… God had prepared us with such a source of Truth for these end times! He is into everything…
Sunday, April 13, Palm Sunday
The homily of Pope Francis without using a prepared text or perhaps abandoning what he had prepared, speaks of the Holy Ghost speaking through this Pope. He asked us to reflect on what we are in regards to the Passion — Are we another Pilate who washed his hands to mean that he removed himself from the end result regarding Jesus’ own life? Or are we another Judas? Or are we the crowd who wanted to kill Jesus and save Barabbas? Or are we Pharisees or Sadducees? Are we one of the apostles who deserted Him?
I was mesmerized and thought of how important is to think on these terms… I inspected my inner self… On this day I heard this during my third Rosary: “My future is happening right now because my future depends on how I live each present moment.” What a profound statement! It gave me even more desire to hurry up with the writing of the book and with my “yes” to all that my Dad wants of me.
Holy Tuesday, April 15
A program by Dr. Mehmet Oz, cardiovascular surgeon MD, touched a subject that is part of my book. This program was aired on December 15, 2013, and it was repeated. I had missed it the first time around. The title of this segment was “Cure of back pain without surgery or pills.” I am going to give you some details, which are actually not necessary for this blog, except because I want you to know some of this science in case you find it useful for yourself or someone else. All our regular MD’s know little about it.
From Dr. Oz’ site: Dr. Hanscom is a board certified orthopedic surgeon specializing in the surgical correction of complex problems in the cervical, thoracic, and lumbar spine. He has expertise in adult and pediatric spinal deformities such as scoliosis and kyphosis. A significant part of his practice is devoted to performing surgery on patients who have had multiple prior spine surgeries. He said that doctors commonly mistreat back pain by aggressively turning to surgery, rather than focusing on lifestyle and more natural therapeutic approaches. He further explained that the mind can affect the perception of pain in that the longer pain persists, the more frustration and anxiety you suffer, which compounds the pain over time.
Managing pain and functional symptoms requires an exploration of the relationship between your thoughts (mind/brain) and your symptoms (body). The source of thoughts and feelings is the mind/brain connection, which gives meaning to experiences, including symptoms and pain. The mind acts as a filter or lens through which bodily messages of pain or discomfort pass. The filter or lens can either reduce or magnify the intensity of the message. Thus, the experience of pain and uncomfortable symptoms can be increased or decreased by the power of your mind. By changing your mind, you can change your brain chemistry and find relief from your symptoms. It is also called the Mind Body syndrome. AND THIS IS NOT NEW AGE or demonic in any form! It is science… and please be sure about it.
The best treatment for back pain is – delving into emotions. No surgical approach is necessary. Stress and anxiety makes the brain transform very negative emotions into real pain. Most pain is about perception… Chronic pain patients are trapped and become angry
He sees one patient per week who comes for surgery due to back pain. Only 10% need surgery…. Pain may come from soft tissue or from a structural problem… (End of story)
This will also be a chapter for my book with my own experience but this time, I will have a very recent presentation of this subject matter of the Body Mind Connection. Before, it was just my own experience when in 1982 I learned by chance how to treat my own severe back pain suffered for 15 years in just one hour… All of it is part of what I have written about on “brain plasticity” and how San Francisco is the Mecca for such studies and findings of the last 15 years or so. In 1982, no one could understand it from a point of view of a true science. So, my beautiful God, through His Holy Spirit, made Dr. Oz repeat this program for the second time and I was right and there watching it. It will give my personal experience a scientific flavor and instead of being just my personal take on the matter. So, the book will be greatly improved in this chapter of back pain…
Holy Wednesday, April 16.
In the EWTN Live program, a Sister Angela Fatima, MD came to discuss the process of canonization of Blessed Francisco and Jacinta Marto, seer’s in the Fatima apparitions. This doctor nun was extraordinary as she explained the reasons why these two children are in the process of being canonized. They offered sacrifices and also fasted… which is a great message for our times and exactly as our Mother explained it to them almost 100 years ago. It brought back and very clearly the actual message of her apparitions at Fatima. She called the children to fast and sacrifice to save souls… In the school of Mary as depicted in the message to these children, we must work hard at loving our neighbor with our suffering and these apparitions are also precious because an Angel came to announce her coming. It truly gave me a great boost to my efforts of being converted, and like the children to become very active in saving souls via sacrifice and fasting but of my will, in order to do God’s will!!!
Holy Thursday, April 17
I was up for the 8:30 AM Holy Thursday Mass from Rome at the church of Our Lady of Providence. It was the only Mass I would be present Live because my local Mass would happen when the sun light would be gone and with my bad left eye, it was not prudent to go. During this Live Mass, and after the Consecration as I was worshipping Him across the world, He asked me, “Are you ready to hurry up and write the book? (I said “Yes.”) “Are you ready to go everywhere to teach them what My Spirit gives you?” (Yes). “Then, go and open eyes and ears to My message.”
After the Mass I prayed the sorrowful mysteries of the Rosary and during this Rosary, I started crying much. I was able to sense His suffering at Gethsemane, realizing His upcoming suffering of the Passion but especially because His disciples would abandon Him, while one would sell Him for 30 pieces of silver and another one would deny Him three times. They were going to show Him that they did not have any love for neighbor as He had taught them. I also cried and repented for my hardness of heart towards my neighbor and even allowing some to kill others and themselves out of a depression that could be from eating foods with carrageenan, when I could have shared this knowledge since 1992… Ouch. I have sat for 22 years on this information!
I started a second Sorrowful Rosary and used the pictures I have of these mysteries in order to delve into the cruelty of the mystery. I also thought of the many blessings I have received like getting my memory back, and realizing what it means for my family; otherwise I would be confined to a nursing home… and taking away much money from my sons…
Holy Saturday – April 20, 2014 – 11:15 AM PT
The School of Mary
I must first warn you that there will be much repetition, but I now know that God uses it as a form of teaching me and making me memorize these concepts through repetition.
I wrote in my diary:
We say with St. Louis Marie de Montfort to go to “Jesus through Mary.” Do we really know what it means? The following took me by surprise and it is an understanding which I received on this day and I have not read any books from St. Louis Marie for at least 3 years. The following points were received on this glorious day when we are expecting the Resurrection of our Lord.
1. Our Lady said yes to what seems a “crazy” message from a human perspective: “You will be pregnant by the Holy Spirit.”
In her pure faith and love of God she trusted Him! In fact, accepting this message meant suffering but she accepted it! The suffering had to do with the possibility of being stoned to death. But HER TRUST IN GOD WAS SO PERFECT THAT she knew God will fight this battle and win it for her.
2. So much was this trust in God’s power to see this process through, that she in a way accepted not only the possibility of death but also of being looked upon as impure and to disillusion and embarrass Joseph.
3. But she went further. She never thought anymore of the pros and cons of how she would explain to others that the Archangel had appeared and what he had said to her despite that she knew no man as she had told Gabriel. Even more, she ran (3 days of journey) to serve her cousin Elizabeth!!! In our lives, how often IF EVER do we simply take what God says and accept it and run to serve others in the mean time…?
4. Ah, but God had a blessing for her or an answer for her trust in Him… He corroborated the entire story of the Archangel by1) finding Elizabeth truly expecting a baby and 2) by having her be illumined by the Holy Spirit and telling her what was going on in her womb! This is how trusting in God works. He is there every step of the way. The more we trust the more He eases up our crosses that His will is bringing. So easy! He becomes our own Simon of Cyrene who helped Jesus carry His cross. But not only the words of Elizabeth were a clear sign of her own pregnancy but she brought to her the Messiah King (a tiny fetus…) Who also saluted His cousin John, 6 months into his formation and John danced with joy! Elizabeth said so to Our Lady.
These are Elizabeth’s words, all of which are clear in establishing that there was a baby in Our Lady’s womb:
Luke 1: 41-45
When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the infant leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth filled with the Holy Spirit, cried out in a loud voice and said, “Most blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And how does this happen to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For at the moment the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the infant in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled.”
Then Our Lady responds to Elizabeth with words that today we know as the Magnificat, but which is a hymn to the mercy of God… Mercy for having chosen her; mercy for bringing the promised Messiah King to this earth; mercy for Elizabeth for giving her a child in her old age.
5. In the case of Elizabeth, she needed this spiritual help of having the Messiah King come into her home more so than physical help. The latter she could find among relatives and neighbors, but the visit of Baby Jesus only could happen “THROUGH MARY.” Here we see the role of Our Lady being unique for our own lives in 2014…She was a mediator, an act that she repeated at Cana and repeats daily in our lives! So, going to Jesus through Mary makes a lot of sense…
I wonder at times what happened during the three months that these two teams of mother/son were living together. Zechariah was mute… out of his lack of trusting God’s words and as a reminder to us of how we can become mute and blind to God’s Truths when we doubt! So, he could not say a word… Baby Jesus was getting all His human parts together in the first 3 months of His life in the womb… and John was all made up and finished and just growing in size to make it later in the outside world.
6. Well, in 2014, John the Baptist is gone and his soul is in heaven, but Jesus is here in every tabernacle… and His Spirit keeps taking us to meet strangers from all parts of the world in order for us to witness to them how to keep a close relationship with this Babe and now a Man/God under the appearance of a piece of bread! This huge miracle that Our Lady lived, we still live in each Mass!!! We have a Eucharistic Presence because she said “yes.” And we have to remember her audacity, her profound love of neighbor ahead of self-love. This love for another took her to reveal Him to others… (Or the very first new evangelization on earth, full of ardor and love for neighbor, without wondering for one second what was next and how to deal with any personal dilemmas in the journey)…
And yes, it could mean that we also do acknowledge the possibility of being stoned by those who may not understand why we have to go and preach with our lives through a white or red martyrdom, that the Messiah King is here because He is crazy about us. Therefore, that our needs, our fears, our physical poverty come last, since our neighbor comes first always. We have to carry a ban that says, “We announce the One Who will give freedom to the captives from Satan and the world and their flesh,” even if all of them have no idea that they are imprisoned and resent our posture. How many times do we evangelize with this clear understanding that we were created with a purpose, and this purpose is saving others from hell?
The above is part of the curriculum of the “School of Mary.” Other items to consider are:
1) Our need to grow in our relationship with God because we not only carry Him in the womb of our soul, but we must live in this trust that He is in charge of the journey! Our Lady was under such guidance from her Son, Father and Holy Spirit, and this total trust won for her to be merciful by bringing Him to console Elizabeth and greet John and most likely mesmerize and console Zechariah.
2) There is a hint here for us: our relationship with Him (all based in total trust in His love for us) is the gasoline that takes us to others as we receive His mercy and give it away, while we ignore our own needs and as she did. The present day evangelization efforts must come from hearts that are constantly in relationship with Him.
3) The school of Mary is simple in words and rich in living the love for our neighbor which always takes over our own unsolved personal needs, our personal crosses.
4) It took a science educated brain (St. Luke) trained in diagnosing illnesses, in order to lead him to wonder why Our Lady’s actions were done under the power of God, which gave her the knowhow, the fastness to go and help another human being, after having received this very strange but EXTRAORDINARY message, while ignoring what she was supposed to do with Joseph upon her return… and with her pregnancy in front of everyone in her home town. So, I am sure that he asked her about all these details in order to narrate them for us.
In her school, we are trained to do the following
1.Say yes to God’s will no matter if this will means to do weird things according to the world’s standards.
2. In this school, we never think of pros and cons and instead, we pray constantly bringing Our Lady’s advocacy and protection to ignore our needs and fears to proceed to grow in our relationship with the Messiah king by “doing whatever He tells us.” (Another crucial advice from His Mom). It is like getting pregnant with Jesus but while others are watching our soul’s womb getting bigger as He grows in us and we become little.
3. In this school we keep a daily track of our anxiety and doubts and fears, repent from them and offer Rosaries asking her to pray for us, in order to get the graces to radically cut the roots of the occasions when we lack trust in His love and mercy! In other words, the Rosary is a form of ongoing protection in our daily conversion to do things as she did them…
4. In this school we constantly say and mean it, “Here I am Lord, I come to do Your will. Help my unbelief and let me ‘see’ and ‘hear’ and help me to be opened to Your Holy Spirit’s guidance and power to do so!” We must become skilled at realizing our weaknesses and ask for help to circumvent them with His graces.
5. In this school we learn that Our Lady’s behavior won her power over Satan, the world and her flesh. So, we must keep this in mind and pray the Rosary often to receive the grace of acting as she did for God’s glory and the good of our neighbor, as she did but protected from these mighty forces.
6. In this school, I have no right to say that I go to Jesus through Mary if I do not believe like her! And yes, she even had to live many years more after her Son died of a cruel death which happened approximately when she was 48 years old (15+33=48). It seems that she lived 20 more years with John; so she may have been taken to heaven at age 68!!! So, even she had to work for our Church representing her Son, in order to gather the apostles and be a witness to the coming of the Holy Spirit in their lives (she had her Pentecost at age 15).
7. In this school of Mary we must learn how to live lives of virtue as she did so that even after our death as in her case, we can be remembered by our witness as she still does! We must become like stamps that read “I am the servant of the Lord,” while praying to be used and mailed to future generations but for the sake of their salvation.
8. In the school of Mary we live for others! 1) Not only we bring in the Word (Gospel), the Messiah King to others and 2) our personal relationship with Him as the Holy Spirit sets it up but 3) but we also bring a new life style of embracing our crosses in atonement for our sins and those of the Church and the entire world.
9. As faithful alumni of the school of Mary, we issue our manifesto at her side that says, “Through Him, in Him, by Him, in the power of the Holy Spirit, may all glory and praise be Yours, most Holy Trinity, both now and forever. Yes, I come to do Your will. Amen! Alleluia!”
A few days later after Resurrection Sunday, I heard several people talk about the School of Mary quoting St. John Paul II… I decided to look into his writings and here I am sharing some of his quotes.
1. APOSTOLIC LETTER ROSARIUM VIRGINIS MARIAE
OF THE SUPREME PONTIFF JOHN PAUL II
TO THE BISHOPS, CLERGY AND FAITHFUL ON THE MOST HOLY ROSARY
1. The Rosary of the Virgin Mary, which gradually took form in the second millennium under the guidance of the Spirit of God, is a prayer loved by countless Saints and encouraged by the Magisterium. Simple yet profound, it still remains, at the dawn of this third millennium, a prayer of great significance, destined to bring forth a harvest of holiness. It blends easily into the spiritual journey of the Christian life, which, after two thousand years, has lost none of the freshness of its beginnings and feels drawn by the Spirit of God to “set out into the deep” (duc in altum!) in order once more to proclaim, and even cry out, before the world that Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior, “the way, and the truth and the life” (Jn 14:6), “the goal of human history and the point on which the desires of history and civilization turn”.(1)
The Rosary, though clearly Marian in character, is at heart a Christo-centric prayer. In the sobriety of its elements, it has all the depth of the Gospel message in its entirety, of which it can be said to be a compendium.(2) It is an echo of the prayer of Mary, her perennial Magnificat for the work of the redemptive Incarnation which began in her virginal womb. With the Rosary, the Christian people sits at the school of Mary and is led to contemplate the beauty on the face of Christ and to experience the depths of his love. Through the Rosary the faithful receive abundant grace, as though from the very hands of the Mother of the Redeemer.
2. MASS AND EUCHARISTIC PROCESSION FOR
THE SOLEMNITY OF THE BODY AND BLOOD OF CHRIST
HOMILY OF JOHN PAUL II Basilica of St John Lateran
Thursday, 19 June 2003
Let us contemplate the Eucharistic face of Christ, as did the Apostles and later, the saints of all the centuries. Let us contemplate him above all by learning at the school of Mary, "woman "of the Eucharist’ in her whole life" (ibid., n. 53), the One who was "the first "’tabernacle’ in history" (ibid., n. 55).
3. MESSAGE OF HIS HOLINESS JOHN PAUL II
FOR WORLD MISSION SUNDAY 2003
Mary and the mission of the Church in the Year of the Rosary
2. Last October, when I entered the 25th year of my Petrine ministry, I announced a special Year, almost as a spiritual continuation of the Jubilee Year, to be dedicated to the rediscovery of the prayer of the Rosary, so dear to Christian tradition. It is a year to be lived under the gaze of the One who, in accord with God’s mysterious plan, with her "yes", made possible humanity’s salvation and who continues from Heaven to protect those who turn to her, especially during the difficult moments of their lives.
I would like the Year of the Rosary to be a favorable occasion for believers on all the continents to deepen the meaning of their Christian vocation. At the school of the Blessed Virgin and following her example, every community will be better able to have its own "contemplative" and "missionary" activity emerge.
If the World Mission Sunday, which takes place right at the end of the special Marian year, is well prepared, it will give a more generous thrust to this commitment of the ecclesial community. Confident recourse to Mary, with the daily recitation of the Rosary and the meditation of the mysteries of the life of Christ, will emphasize that the Church’s mission must be sustained first of all by prayer. The attitude of "listening", which is prompted by praying the Rosary, brings the faithful close to Mary, who "kept all these things, pondering them in her heart" (Lk 2,19). Frequent meditation on the Word of God forms us to live "in living communion with Jesus through — we might say — the heart of his Mother" (Rosarium Virginis Mariae, n. 2).
A more contemplative Church: the face of Christ contemplated
3. Cum Maria contemplemur Christi vultum! These words often come to mind: contemplate the "face" of Christ with Mary. When we speak of the "face" of Christ, we refer to his human likeness in which the eternal glory of the Father’s only Son shines out (cf. Jn 1,14): "The glory of the Godhead shines forth from the face of Christ" (Rosarium Virginis Mariae, n.21). Contemplating the face of Christ leads to a deeper, interior familiarity with his mystery. Contemplating Jesus with the eyes of faith impels one to penetrate the mystery of the Trinitarian God. Jesus says:"He who has seen me has seen the Father" (Jn 14,9). With the Rosary we advance on this mystical journey "in union with, and at the school of his Most Holy Mother" (Rosarium Virginis Mariae, n.3).. Indeed, Mary makes herself our teacher and our guide. Under the action of the Holy Spirit, she helps us acquire that "serene boldness" which enables believers to pass on to others their experience of Jesus and the hope that motivates them (cf. Redemptoris missio, n. 24).
Let us always look to Mary, an unequalled model. All the words of the Gospel find an extraordinary echo in her soul. Mary is the contemplative "memory" of the Church, who lives with the desire to be deeply united with her Bridegroom, in order to have an ever greater impact on our society. How do we react to the great problems, the innocent suffering, the injustices perpetrated with arrogant insolence? At the docile school of Mary, who is our Mother, believers learn to recognize in the apparent "silence of God" the Word who resounds in the silence for our salvation
4. SOLEMNITY OF MARY, MOTHER OF GOD
XXXVII WORLD DAY OF PEACE
HOMILY OF JOHN PAUL II
Thursday, 1 January 2004
1. "When the time had fully come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman" (Gal 4: 4).
Today, the liturgy of the Octave of Christmas presents to us the icon of the Mother of God, the Virgin Mary. The Apostle Paul points her out as the "woman" through whom the Son of God entered the world. Mary of Nazareth is the Theotokos, the One who "gave birth to the King of Heaven and earth forever" (Entrance Antiphon; cf. Sedulius).
At the beginning of this New Year, let us place ourselves with docility at the school of Mary. We want to learn from her, the Holy Mother, how to accept in faith and prayer the salvation that God never ceases to offer to all who trust in his merciful love. (End of quotes)
Same Holy Saturday, April 20
My son and I attended the Vespers Easter Services and while the lights were off, some 45 minutes, a deep joy entered me. I usually get it when He is in the Tabernacle, but this time He was not even there, although nearby. The joy was intense and similar to the one I had when I was bleeding from my stomach ulcers and on the floor because I did not have a decent blood pressure to even sit up. Since the lights were off, I was free to smile from ear to ear because I would not distract anyone looking my way. And I then felt that it was the right time to examine what this joy is made off.
1) It is special. You cannot make it. It is a form of happiness that forces you to smile.
2) You have no way to turn it off. And since He was not there in His Eucharistic species, why did I have so much joy…? I never thought of the Resurrection… Joy is different than happiness where we know why we are happy… but this joy was not giving me a reason. I kept digging and digging and waiting for the Holy Ghost to give me an explanation.
3) Finally I understood it… 1) Joy is a way for God, the Holy Trinity, to converse with us, to remind us that God in Three Persons is present WITHIN…. and this gives us joy… 2) It is a way for Him to remind us that He is around, inside, never to be away… not even for an instant while we live on earth and after our Baptism and Confirmation. 3) It is also a reminder of the joy we will have in heaven since He is also eternally present there…4) It is also an incentive to say yes to His will because of the joy that eventually will be ours forever.
This Holy Saturday was simply a dream… I was closing my Lent season with a bang… and I felt more in love with my God than weeks before. He can truly show us that He is alive and that He loves us… Amazing grace!
Monday, April 21, 2014
Well, Holy Week was gone and here we started preparing for the Divine Mercy Feast and the canonization of two holy Popes… I am going to share with you some things that you have read before but now with more detail. But first, EWTN started running a 2001 series of talks from Fr. Alfred McBride on Pope John XXIII. Wow! Awesome… I finally have a complete view of the greatness of this saint…
I had been a fan of Pope John XXIII. It started in a trip to Medjugorje on 1988. It was my second trip. There was a priest there staying at the same “pension” or hotel with some of our group. He was an expert at the theme of Holy Angels. He was consecrated to them and lived in Kansas, Iowa or Idaho (do not remember)… He began to catechize us about the 9 Choirs of Angels. My Baptismal name has two main names followed by “of the Angels” or “de los Angeles” in Spanish, because Our Lady Queen of Angels is Costa Rica’s patroness. So, since I was child, I felt in general a certain attraction to them. This priest and after giving us classes on the 9 choirs, asked us to name our guardian angels… I waited to go to church, St. James, to ask the Lord what He wanted the name to be. As I was walking from the pension to church, I heard this voice: “Call him Angelo.” I immediately thought it was not from God because it did not make any sense to call my guardian angel in Italian, Angelo. It was not Spanish or English and besides to call an angel the same name was crazy, or so I thought… In church and during Mass, He insisted in calling him Angelo and so I did. When I came back to Indiana where I lived, I found out that Pope John XXIII’s name was Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli AND THAT HE LOVED THE DEVOTION TO THE ANGELS. Here are some notes of his writings:
OUR GUARDIAN ANGELS and Pope Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli — Meditation for the Feast of the Guardian Angels – 2 October 1959
According to the teaching of the Roman catechism, we must remember how admirable was the intention of divine Providence in entrusting to the angels the mission of watching over all mankind, and over individual human beings, lest they should fall victims to the grave dangers which they encounter. In this earthly life, when children have to make their way along a path beset with obstacles and snares, their fathers take care to call upon the help of those who can look after them and come to their aid in adversity. In the same way our Father in heaven has charged his angels to come to our assistance during our earthly journey which leads us to our blessed fatherland, so that, protected by the angels’ help and care, we may avoid the snares upon our path, subdue our passions and, under this angelic guidance, follow always the straight and sure road which leads to Paradise…
Everyone of us is entrusted to the care of an angel. That is why we must have a lively and profound devotion to our own Guardian Angel, and why we should often and trustfully repeat the dear prayer we were taught in the days of our childhood. May we never fail in this devotion to the angels! During our earthly pilgrimage we may often run the risk of having to face the natural elements in turmoil, or the wrath of men who may seek to do us harm. But our Guardian Angel is always present. Let us never forget him and always remember to pray to him. (End of quotes)
This priest we met in Medjugorje asked us if we wanted to be inducted into the confraternity of the Holy Angels (Opus Sanctorum Angelorum) with main offices in Fatima at the time (Now north of the city of Detroit, MI). He would visit us in South Bend and prepare us and the following year come again and consecrate us. And we did… During our formation, he said that we could ALSO have a guardian angel for our job and one for our growing families. He also said to give a name to the guardian angel of our spouse and children. So, at the consecration, one year later, I named my medical profession guardian angel, Pio. My family guardian angel was named Joachim. My husband received his middle name for his guardian angel, Antonio. The boys received their middle name for their guardian angels: Manuel, Eloy, Fabricio and Marti.
During the two years of formation, I read a book with the journal of Pope Angelo Roncalli, and I loved it…So, for this canonization, I have been soo happy to have had such a relationship with this Pope… as a close friend.
With Pope JPII, it was even more of an association. I was in Rome in a general audience (May 6) and private audience (May 9, 2002). I have pictures taken with him blessing me and giving me a Rosary… He was the Pope of Mercy and in 1985, I had been inducted into reading all about Divine Mercy and St. Faustina’s Diary. So, John Paul II was a great attraction for me as well. And to this day, he is a friend. I will divulge something here that I hate to do but I must… I ask you for the favor not to make much of this and also not to think that it is in my head only… It has been a reality since the days when we were waiting for his death on April 2, 2005; I was not working and was living in Toledo, stranded there until God would allow me to place my home on the market.
On March 31, 2005, while watching some LIVE scenes from Rome as the people were in St. Peter’s Square waiting for this final breath, I felt him in my room and as clear as ever. I did not see him… I heard him saying that he would die around 3 PM in the next two days. And he did, at 2:40 PM EST (Toledo time). Ever since, he has become my spiritual director with internal locutions. I call him Papa Karol and write in my journal, PK when he speaks. He can be gentle and yet very firm… He is the one who asked me to share this story because he wants all you who read this blog to be careful in these days when we speak of him as the “great”… He clearly has said to me and several times to be careful and not to make of his canonization, a time of paying too much attention to him and his work on this earth and consider him like a “god”… He does not want us to be too distracted and ignore the Presence of God in our lives and our active duty of doing His will… I have asked a couple of times if I should share this which even my friends have no knowledge of it. He answered with a yes and to ignore my concern that it may represent a scandal for your hearts. Overall, after my Mother, he is one of my greatest intercessors at the Throne of Mercy. My Mama, PK and God’s Mercy are like a spiritual sandwich for me… delicious for what they represent.
Saturday, April 26.
I watched the TV vespers and Rosary on the occasion of the canonization of St. John Paul II in the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels in Los Angeles, California. At one point, the well known guitarist Tony Melendez came to sing and to pray the fifth mystery, and for the first time ever since I have known of him, I realized that I have never truly ever thanked God for my arms and hands… This man was born without them because his mom took thalidomide during her pregnancy. I also realized with horror that this man’s courage as St. JP II said to him many years ago, is almost unbelievable. You need to be fed; you need to be helped to go to the bathroom and to take a shower, get dried and get dressed… Someone has to brush your teeth. How is it that I never thanked my God for inventing our arms and hands and fingers… I cried a lot! We have soo much and yet, we take things for granted.
Sunday, April 27
I had made a resolution to be present LIVE to the Mass of canonization of these extraordinary holy men, two John’s. It would start at 12:30 AM in California. I felt very happy and prayed much for EWTN and all the people responsible for making this Mass available to me. After the Live canonization, I slept a couple of hours before getting up and getting ready for the local 8 AM Mass. Little did I know that God had great news for me. After Communion He said that I would be receiving a miracle. I did and much will be shared some future day if God so allows me. I offered the Mass in thanksgiving for all the blessings that I keep receiving, like my arms and hands and fingers… I keep realizing that the recovery of my memory is one of the greatest gifts, second to my getting to know Him in the Eucharist as real and truly present. My allergies to all foods are nothing compared to know Him in such way and to have a body that can still move by itself… It was the feast of St. Louis Marie Grignion de Monfort, a faithful alumnus of the School of Mary as St. John Paul II was.
Monday, April 28.
Time has been running. I was supposed to post this blog some 4 days ago and I have not been able to do so… I suffer now from narcolepsy… It is not tiredness but the need to sleep much. I have kept a careful watch offering up all my sufferings in atonement for the sins of many. Yet, my health issues are still a major problem. Today, I had an appointment with my gastro-enterologist, Dr. D.V. and find out about a biopsy he took of my stomach lining, even that he found no ulcers.
I got lost again trying to find his office in Concord. For some reason, it is not an easy address for me and my glasses are not good enough to read anything at a distance. I keep realizing that they were made twice and twice, I could not get them to work. AND I KNOW THAT I CAN SEE BETTER because with both glasses, an old pair and the new pair from last year, I can see perfectly through the very top edge of the lenses. For example, for scores in TV for games of any kind and from far away, I can look through the very upper edge and see the scores perfectly clear … Many times I have wondered why this is so and why twice I could not get the right prescription, and the only thing I come up with is that it is a major cross that I must embrace because it is full of graces. Well, on this day I started my journey to Dr. V’s office at 2:45 PM for a 20 minute drive for a 3:30 PM appointment. I became totally lost… I could not read the names of the street because the sun made it impossible and while driving, I cannot focus fast enough using the very top edge of the lenses.
I became super irritated… with this disaster. I called Angelo (I actually call him Angelito, a diminutive term of endearment as we Costa Rican’s do…). I asked him to get help from the Holy Ghost… but nothing happened. By 3:25 PM, I decided to stop at a large place where they sell medium size trucks and vans. I wanted to call the office to tell them what was going on, and in my case, being a perfectionist, this was very stressing. I am always early wherever I go. I went to a receptionist who turned out to be a Latino man and I showed him the different roads I needed to get to this office and that I had drawn in a piece of paper since it is tricky to get to this office; he recognized the names and tried to tell me but in a very Latin American way he said, “Turn right when you get out and you will be in your way. Just follow it!!!” In our Latino countries it is the custom to give very vague directions. So, he took me to someone else, who turned out to be a Colombian… He wanted to spend time talking about Costa Rica after he asked me about my country of origin… I was ready to scream. He could not help either.
This man took me to someone in an office who had his P.C. in use and he looked and I started to thank him for being so nice and precise and said, “I believe in a God and I will pray for you because you are so nice.” He was in his mid forties and of dark skin from some place in Asia. He turned around and said, “Pray for my wife. She died a year and a half ago. She was very beautiful.” Then, he stopped looking in the computer in order to get his wallet out and show me the picture of his wife and kids…I wanted to scream even more. It was 3:33PM… Finally, he found my directions via the computer and I said again, “I will pray for you even if you do not believe in any god.” He said that he was from India and a Sikh (?) but that his wife was Catholic and he kept signing himself… as a good Catholic would do. Then I said, “Well, I will pray that you may found another good woman.” He answered, “O no, we were married for better or for worse and I will never marry again. I pray to Mary and Jesus for her… and I will never fall in love with another woman.” Wow… In these times when marriage is treated as inconvenient, this man was teaching me a big lesson. I asked for his first name to add to my Community Rosary. He found Dr. V’s office number.
I ran out of the place and tried to call the office to no avail. A message came that this number had been changed. . I finally got there at 3:40 PM with many apologies and checked the phone number written by my “angel” Ravinder and it was the right number!!! Thank God that the doctor was just finishing writing in the chart of the previous patient. However, I know that the Lord permitted this scenario and of meeting Ravinder just to show me how we live among many saints… However, I have not finished understanding this message, but the fidelity of this Indian man for a white wife because in the picture she was not Indian, has to have another explanation. He was emphatic that he would never love another woman the same as his wife. I am still wondering if my Ma in heaven was actively praying for me in order to see how a Sikh prays to her and her Son!!! I will never forget Ravinder and the strange circumstances that led me to him. To begin with, why to get lost in a day in which I had a major appointment? Why to suddenly stop in X place and find three men and end up with Ravinder? However, the story had to be posted because probably God was trying to tell you and me that He can very specific in our present moments…Again, this story has not ended… It seems to be a sign of some sort.
Dr. V said that the biopsy was negative. Of course, ulcers are not my problem but my allergies are, and possibly my thyroid is out of commission as well… with this narcolepsy and I stopped losing weight even that I still take the special probiotic. So, he referred me to a lady Indian… endocrinologist and asked her in a letter that I will take to her, to become my primary physician. We shall see. The problem is that she belongs to the group of doctors that I have mentioned before, the 87 doctors in their brand new building, but when I called for an appointment, I learned that she would not move to this large new office building.. . My appointment will be for this Friday, April 2… on the anniversary of our St. JPII’s death…. Huh! Amazing. I now know whom to direct my prayers to be placed at the Throne of Mercy and possibly get this lady as my primary physician, plus also to be able to decipher my endocrine problems (thyroid and adrenals).
I am convinced even more than last month, that my duty is to be present to each moment with total certitude that He is in charge of every detail in my life, and therefore, I must accept everything as He wills it for me. And two days ago, I failed to offer up the 45 minutes that I was lost and due to exterior circumstances that did not agree with my perfectionism. I GAVE MORE IMPORTANCE NOT TO BE LATE to this appointment than to accept this little cross and rejoice because God willed it for me. Ouch! I must start getting this phrase back into my head and repeat it over and over, as I used to do in the 1980’s. “This moment is as perfect as it can be.” I also need to enter in the midst of chaos like on April 28, into the Presence of God within and smile because He is in charge and my Mom in heaven is watching over me besides my Angelo. Until my faith becomes perfectly ingrained in the love and mercy of God for me, I will keep wasting my crosses. I must also remember what I learned this month, “My future is right now because my future becomes what I do today.” And of course, the Holy Spirit is bringing this other phrase to my mind as I write, “If today you hear His voice, harden not your heart.”
Thank you again to those who faithfully pray for me… What a gift you are to me. I am working much at finishing the book that may be of great help to many, and I am sure that your prayer is part of the gasoline for this project. It is a matter of much editing and the book will be ready to be self-published. Because the matters shared in this book are soo important for our health, an established publisher could make money as well… but I went that route with my 2004 book, “The King of the Jews is the Mercy of God,” and Catholic publishers did not want to even look into it. So, I need God to win this battle… and guide me to do whatever He plans with this other book full of medical information. In fact, I have already started offering Masses in thanksgiving for what He is going to do, and as the Servant of God Franciscan Father Solanus Casey used to advice.
And of course, I need to often review the curriculum of the “School of Mary.” We are wasting our time when we review over and over how we need to indulge ourselves in reading the Scriptures and praying much and doing all sort of things for God… If we do not offer a radical “yes” for the will of God in our lives and most especially for the crosses involved, with total TRUST that it is the ONLY way to love God and neighbor because the Holy Spirit takes over and give us all the gifts we need to LOVE, we will be blind and deaf… to His present moment by present moment guidance.
We need to believe that the greatest form of obedience to God’s commands, is this “yes” as the school of Mary teaches. Once we radically say yes to everything without any attempt to pray for a change of His will, we will read the Scriptures often and fall in love with this practice; we will use our sufferings for the good of others and become like babies, being inducted into the hall of fame called sanctity. Yes, a good homily can bring people to God and yes, they can make a 360 degree change… But the question remains, for how long? So, we need not only to announce the Good News but live those Good News… and this show of our living what we preach will keep people in the Church and receiving the Sacraments, plus in a process of growth into holiness.
In my daily life I have found in recent days how very religious people are suddenly changing their demeanor towards me… Well, I am used to it from past experiences… They pass judgment on me and who knows how they get to it. I just want to let you know that my God with His great love and mercy, sends me huge signs that I am O.K. and in the right path… Examples: my sons and wives are simply a dream… We care for each other in ways that at times make me feel guilty for the little I do for my non family members… like those who judge me and show me with their faces and words here and there, how wrong they are.
Yesterday, we received an email from my son in Alabama who wants to visit us with pregnant wife and their first one year old boy whom he wants us to meet. He will be here in mid June for three days and then go to Omaha to visit my theologian son, wife and 4 children… My oldest will come from Los Angeles to stay with us while the Alabama family visits us. How could I understand the love from my sons for every member of our family, if not by seeing God’s mercy being splashed over all us? They have never quarreled or distanced from each other… The love among us is simply divine!
And also, no matter where I go, I keep finding perfect strangers opening doors for me and serving me in whatever ways. Also yesterday, after Mass I went to this Whole Food Market and I was not feeling super good and the temperatures are going up around here. As I arrived and found a decent parking space (it is busy around noon time because many come to eat lunch from their lunch and salad bars, all organic), an employee was coming with a cart and I signaled that I would use it, so I did not have to walk to find one. He said, “No, this is on old one and does not move as easy as the new ones. Let me get you a new one.” And he did.
I must declare that God is constantly present to us in clear ways when we are judged without any truth behind… So, He moves other human beings to serve us in ways that are so strange and magnificent. In fact, the news that I heard this past Sunday were a dream come true but right now I cannot share much about it. I keep telling Him, “You are too much. What am I going to do with You?” I bet you that He takes it as a form of worship! Satan tries very hard to distract me and my job is to turn around and love my neighbor no matter what they do or not do for me. And these loving manifestations of God on this earth, keep me so alert to love and love because He is loving me in so many ways…
I have a suggestion of something I will do myself: in this coming month of May, one dedicated to Our Lady, let’s pray for each other that we become true disciples and faithful alumni of her school, doers of the Word, asking her to pray for us for our “yes” to be more radical than ever, in order to become great evangelists and also great saints using love as the means to bring others to Him, and sometimes even those who think they have arrived, but their actions show us that they have not! We were created to become great saints and are equipped to do so. God bless you!