Another month is gone and it was a beautiful one in spiritual terms. It was a month super full of surprises. The teachings received were unique, unexpected and truly made me aspire to be very faithful to doing God’s will but with a brand new thirst for it or shall I say, with a new ardor? I will use the calendar sequence to share all that He did. It will be a much shorter blog… and I am happy for you readers.
Saturday, February 8.
(Email sent to one son and wife with a very interesting story. I am copying parts of the email in order to save my left eye of much work!)
My dear kids: this God of ours is simply adorable… Last night (It was Thursday, Feb. 6… and this first part was written on Feb. 7). I received a call (8:30 PM) supposedly from my bank. A man named Brandon alerted me that my debit card with this bank was compromised and needed to be deleted and a new one to be issued. I immediately thought of Mr. Devil… and then, why not God wanting to show me something through this brand new cross. I told Brandon that on the phone I would not do any business since I really did not know if he truly was from this bank. I said that this morning I would go to the local branch. He agreed. And yes, as it turned out, he was from a central office of my bank.
Today I took off to be there early, 9:30 AM. It was raining but wanted if possible to go to noon Mass and not using the expressway for there was much rain, which requires about 25 minutes. I entered the bank and of the three women in desks taking care of clients, one was busy with a customer, actually the one who opened my account 5+ years ago. Immediately, as if by magic, a young girl came from behind the teller section and asked me what I wanted to fix. I gave her a short explanation. She went and interrupted the other two women who were on the phone. Then she came back and led me to one of them. In other words, I needed an angel to come and find out that one of them was on a conversation that would go for a while. So, the other one was probably finishing her phone conversation and able to receive me. Please notice how God has everything so well planned for our lives, that worrying about anything is the most idiotic thing we can do! I had to arrive at a very particular moment to find this scenario, and not minutes later or earlier! At times I wonder if we should print some little cards that say, “Forget about worrying. God is right here taking care of everything! Why to fear?” We should carry these cards every place we go until our brains become totally wired to act on the message. Yes, television and the Internet will work on messages that constantly pressurize our brains with the fear of what is to come… It is time that we all Christians ACT ON THE WORD, and not only believe it but without “works”… (St. James’ counsel in his letters that were read in many recent daily Masses).
The bank employee turned out to be an Indian lady in her 40’s. I asked her if her last name D… meant that she was from India or Pakistan. She said, "I am from India." Within 15 minutes she had solved all my problems. She could not tell where the problem was that alerted the bank to consider my card compromised. She gave me a temporary card with same pin number. She expedited the issuing of a new one to be here tomorrow!!!!!! She wanted me to get a credit card from this bank (not just a debit card for my checking account) and to sign up in case I had an emergency and needed money ASAP, since my records with the bank were so clean and good!!! . I declined and had to tell her that my religious beliefs do not allow me to do things to protect my future regarding money… Somehow, she became super interested in related topics. Later, I learned that she belongs to the Hindu faith. At the end, I said good-bye and she got up from her desk and came around and gave me a huge hug with a huge smile…
Of course, remember the story that I have recounted a number of times before, that I could not stand Indian nationals as I arrived in California. That is, Satan had tempted six Indian anesthesiologists to give me a bad taste and God allowed it since He had a plan for MANY years later. He was all along winning a war and I had no idea. When I visited several parishes back in July and August of 2008, St. Mary’s was chosen by God. I felt peace and tranquility while the other parishes (Sunday Masses) gave me some repugnance (a strange feeling hard to describe in words), including the one here in the city where I reside. My big question to my God was at the time, “Why this parish with so many Indian priests?… My prior 6 Indian doctors that I dealt with (male and female), were simply a huge scandal for me and the memories were vivid. I also had dealt in the last 6 months in my last parish with a new Indian associate priest and I also had trouble with him, although I am certain that the famous lady sacristan who persecuted me, had something to do to turn him against me since we had started with the right foot at the sacristy… Notice my lack of faith in what God was doing… Or shall I say my lack of memory that He has always given me so many things and that at least in my life, He has shown great plans with great blessings. By now, I should be totally wired to receive all events as blessings from Him, but my spirit keeps failing to wake up!
In fact, I left my Steubenville job while you O were arriving for your college because of the Indian man who headed the small anesthesia department. He gave me a good offer but after I worked there for 3 months, he had not given me a contract. (Let me introduce here another story which I did not send to my kids, so that you can see how difficult this time was for me.)
My life at that time was not good! I had received my second major professional persecution after I had returned to the Cleveland area from South Bend, IN. and I was trying to find a permanent job. For the first days in Steubenville, I lived in a hotel at the bottom of the hill where the Franciscan University is located, and later I found a rental home which did not require signing a contract. It was small and in a road not paved. I would go back to Cleveland every other weekend (3 hours away) to check the status of my husband and fourth son who was a senior attending St. Ignatius High School. I had a maid who worked 5 days a week. My husband was still working at Kaiser Permanente, the place that brought us from So. Bend, and after the Lord had alerted me to take the job to be offered while I attended a medical meeting in Houston, TX. They were the ones who called exactly on the weekend when I returned from the meeting.
I came as the chief of the department and my husband as one of the anesthesiologists. I had more years of practice since he had been in Pathology for several years before he retrained at Case Western Reserve in Cleveland to become an anesthesiologist. I lasted only 9 months as chief since I found two Indian female doctors who were very dangerous in their practice. They refused to receive a 3 month refresher course at Case Western. As chief, I could not ignore this dangerous practice and expect to live with it. It was a moral issue for me. The Chief of Staff of the hospital was from Pakistan and gave me a raise, but I could not accept it. By now, I had passed this hospital through a Joint Commission review since I was coming from St. Joseph Hospital in Indiana, a chosen place among 17 other hospitals in the entire country where Joint Commission had started to establish new guidelines for review of all hospitals and surgery centers. I had not had time to change anything but the Joint Commission reviewers passed us because they knew I had the knowledge to do so.
Still in the Cleveland area, I went to work in a small hospital ran by a man from Turkey and I would be assigned to an operating room doing my own cases, and yet, I was officially supervising another operating room where a nurse anesthetist would do the cases by himself but supposedly under my supervision. This was done for legal and billing purposes. Eight months later I would resign. This was another case of a moral issue that I could not be part of. Finally, I applied for a position at Case Western Reserve University Medical Center, only to have the female anesthesiologist (native of a country south of China) from So.Bend – Mishawaka area, block my entrance by lying about my abilities and safety. The process took 3 months to be solved. The legal department of this university by law had to report to Washington that I was a poor anesthesiologist; even that it was a lie. God won this battle big time as the Holy Spirit told me how to defend myself through my lawyer, a great friend to this date and a religious Protestant. He realized that my argument as I had heard it was truly good and it worked. I did not get the job but my name was not sent to Washington and therefore, at least I could find a job without the problem of being turned down when they checked this data base kept by the Government.
Now you can see what kind of stress I was under when I arrived in Steubenville. I remember that I would spend many hours after work at a chapel in the Franciscan University grounds in the Presence of the Eucharist. As I type all these details, I can assure you that God does not allow anything to happen to us that is not important for our training in our journey home to Him. NOTHING! When I told the Indian doctor that I would leave the next week (precisely because I could not stand him but of course he did not know this), he became furious and said that I had to give him at least 3 months to find someone else… When I asked him to show me a contract that said so, he became even more furious… Greed and treating women as nothing were part of my resentment.
In 2008 as I shopped for the new parish here in California under the Holy Spirit’s guidance, I needed a card like the one I just described that we should carry in our purses or pockets to stop my crazy worries. Some 2 years later, God used my pastor to heal my resentment and I have no idea how it happened nor do I think he knows. In hindsight, it was simply God using different parts of His Body to heal other parts and this encounter at the bank with this lady Mrs. M. D. was part of the plan. Now, God wanted to show me how much I like them when this woman would even come and hug me… She sensed my acceptance for her. It was proof that I was truly totally healed. It is so refreshing to lose these terrible memories after many years (20 plus) of repudiating people coming from India, and all because of these 6 doctors who made it happen and principally due to my poor understanding that I could have ended it with the power of the Holy Spirit within, but instead, I allowed it to remain as a resentment… Not good! I had not been correctly catechized by not recognizing that He can win all my battles as He won tons of them before.
(Back to the email sent to my kids). Now, there was a new battle raging with my debit card being compromised… Less than 36 hours ago it was so… and God wanted to send me a little sign saying, "I am here. I will take care of it." And so, this morning, Saturday, Feb. 8, at 10 AM, I had Fedex bring the NEW DEBIT CARD all the way from Texas!!!!! Wow! See, what God wanted was not just to be free of resentment but to remember this lady with love… These are two different things. One thing is not to resent. Another one is to love them… and I also feel love for those Indian doctors who harmed me so much… THIS BATTLE WAS WON BIG TIME!!!
Corollary for me: WE CANNOT RESENT… Period! AND WE CANNOT BE DISTRACTED AND NOT TAKE CARE OF THESE THINGS by praying not for God to win all battles regarding resentment and the power to love those we consider enemies of some sort. He is in charge of that part. We need to pray to have the faith to believe that He can do it and live this truth always. "Sí se puede," OR IT CAN BE DONE… And it is absolutely necessary that this process be done in our souls in order to truly evangelize. The power of evangelization resides in the Holy Spirit working through us, but the Holy Spirit, Love Himself, cannot work in the other souls if our soul is contaminated with any resentment and lack of love for the one resented…It is a serious sin since God is ready to extirpate it but we have to BELIEVE that our duty is to practice the commandments, day in and day out, knowing that ONLY LOVE CAN TRIUMPH IN OUR SOULS because the Holy Spirit, our spiritual doctor, is there waiting for us to give Him a chance to win all our battles in us and in the hearts of others, and our love will increase our faith and hope that it will be so. THIS HAS TO BE TAUGHT, PREACHED, REPEATED and WITNESSED OVER AND OVER… if we truly want to be sharp shooter evangelists.
Sunday, February 9.
The local television showed a one hour program in a Hispanic channel. The program is called “Aquí y Ahora” (Here and Now) and discusses many topics related to us Hispanic’s. I never listen to it. On this day, they had announced that it would be all about Pope Francis. Of course, it was more about the agenda of same sex marriages and ideas about it that were brought up as themes, which they hope Pope Francis will change. These are some of the topics they discussed:
1. Sexual abuse by priests was brought up recounting some stories! (Same old thing)
2. They said, “Society has changed even the concept of love and sexuality.”
3. They followed with the story that Pope Francis had called priests from the entire world in consultation to study the state of the Church.
4. “The traditional Catholic family has changed.” Therefore, their TV Company paid for a survey in 12 countries polling 1 million Catholics in six languages, and it was found that “Pope Francis is facing a monarchical curia, close minded and that most Catholics want to change it.”
5. They brought a “Catholic” couple (2 women) who have lived together for 11 years and have children. They attend the Progressive Catholic Church.
6. They discussed celibacy for the Catholic Latin Rite priests, which explain the shortage of priests but adding that women still cannot become priests. They spoke of a man who became a Catholic priest at age 40. In September of 2013 he left the priesthood at age 58 in a nearby Diocese because a mistress had his baby. He said regarding his baby son, “Gabriel is my entire life,” but that he does not want to leave the Church.
7. Several Catholic priestesses were interviewed in other States who belong to the Roman Catholic Presbyters Association… One of them said that “she became a priestess not out of her own desire but because the community called her to do so!”
8. A Mexican psychologist came to say that even today many Mexican priests keep abusing children, and some have left the priesthood but without being legally tried. Of course, they brought up the name of Marcial Maciel who was laicized in 2006 and who died in 2008.
9. The entire program was aimed at bringing the voice of the Catholics opposing the Church in hopes that Pope Francis will change how the Church does things…!!!!
My note: I know that you must be nauseous after reading these stories and I am sorry…Let me tell you that I tried soo hard not to write the particulars of this one hour special. I basically refused but finally, after much prayer and discernment and at the last minute, I had to do it. Please forget the particulars of what you just read because much of it may have been an attack by Satan for the Hispanic community, although it is mostly true… but it may contaminate your spirit with despair… WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO MY READER and if you allow my suggestion, is to realize that you and I must become what Jesus asked us to become, holy as His Father is holy. We know what to do… We have to become saints and God is ready to do so… as long as we follow a few indications. We have allowed this mess and you will find out more stories that you may like a lot… as how blessed we are to make a difference in this world. AND YES, personally I STILL WANT HERE AND THERE TO ESCAPE regarding this obligation to do something about it, not what I want, but what God created me to do and you and you and the other, including the use of our gifts from Baptism and Confirmation. We all have the answers for these times and we are a power house, but we have to train (as the athletes did for the Sochi Olympiads) and do the impossible to win a gold medal for God TODAY… since every second counts for the salvation of a soul… Every second!
And if we have priests who became priests at age 40… and yet 18 years later call a son “his entire life,” there is something wrong with this picture. This priest NEVER MET THE LORD JESUS CHRIST… and yet, He brought Him to his parishioners for 18 years… So, our problem is not to form committees to plan how to help the priests with their celibacy… No… Our work is to do what Jesus told us to do… day in and day out and let Him win this HUGE BATTLE for us… In the next entries you will find out how busy He has been with me this month teaching me bunches of theology… He is alive and exactly as 2,000 years ago… Yet, we keep studying the Bible and talking about it and what we should do, and that is great, but I wonder how hard we try to constantly live the Bible … Or said in other words, how good are we to LIVE IN THE SPIRIT? More on it later!
On this day I tried the drug Hydrocodone for pain (natural narcotic with Tylenol) and the pain in my knees was horrible, which the actual narcotic part could not help much. I have a few left over’s and one more refill before March 4th. So, I wanted to see if I still was allergic to it because the other narcotic, Tramadol is winding down fast… and I have no refills. These are battles that God has for me in order to keep my training fresh and good for my soul.
Tuesday, February 11- Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes
I consecrated myself to my Mother one more time. I must share that this Mom is something else. She is into everything… I was at Lourdes in 2002 and went through the baths seeking healing. Yet, these memories are nothing compared to her presence in this house. I DO NOT SEE HER… I only hear her and sense her presence. As time goes by, I am more and more in love with her. I tell her often, “Mom, I do not know what I would do without you.” This love started as a child as I saw my maternal grandma pray the Rosary every early morning around 4:30 AM. The relationship grew very naturally and when I went to see her at Tepeyac (twice) in Mexico city, and one of them (2002) to pray to get a Republican pro-life Senate majority (for the national election for the House and the Senate only) to help the then Republican President, I cannot forget how much I cried as I said goodbye to this painted in heaven picture of hers. I always wonder if we as a Church has not used her services that much BECAUSE WE DO NOT ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT SHE IS THAT POWERFUL in her intercession for us.
Thursday, February 13.
Our Lady after breakfast said, “When you feel any moment of distress with a future foretold that you do not quite understand, STOP AND REPENT. This is a remnant of original sin that tempts you to disobey. Satan is always around adding fear if you let him! Your future has been told to you precisely for you to ready yourself to cooperate with it. Yet, you have to keep vigilant in those moments of fear which equals doubt. You must keep saying yes and let God do the rest. Every time that you take a Tramadol pill for pain and you fear that they will not be enough, repent. This battle will be won if you reiterate your trust in His love for you to resolve this situation.”
Friday, February 14.
I arrived to church at 10:50 AM for my Holy Hour. I sat as always in the first pew to be near the Tabernacle in a dark church. Shortly after, a woman who turned to be from Central America, came to talk to me and used English but with a huge accent. I have almost no accent in English and when I speak, most people cannot detect my birth origin. She thought that I was lonely and wanted to accompany me. She kept telling me that I should be very careful not to be assaulted by anyone coming in the church (since the church was dark and empty). This led me to speak about my faith in Jesus alive in the Tabernacle and His protection. She kept repeating that God can be found in other places as well… It turned out that she was baptized Catholic and now she is a Mormon. She left and I realized that my Holy Hour had been badly interrupted and fear had been at my doors… My big question was, “What was this woman doing in my church?”
Also, for Mass, a younger Asian man came late and sat in front of me occluding my vision of the altar since I sit in the 6th pew. He kept coughing without covering his mouth. He kept moving and looking around. His cell phone rang 6-7 times…This is a capital sin in our parish, so we all know that it is a no-no… I realized that this man did not belong to our parish and worse, that he was causing me a major distraction with resentment on my part. He also went to receive the Eucharist. AT THE END OF MASS, of course, I recognized Satan tempting these people to give me fear and resentment… I failed and big time and did not offer it up for their souls as an act of love for them… But God had allowed it to warn me as my Mom had done, to remember how Satan operates and how we have to recognize him right away and stop all fear and turn resentment into love. This should be part of a “faith formation” curriculum…
The Indian friend from my bank had done something great and unbeknownst to me until this February 14, St. Valentine’s day… I had ordered checks through her as well and they came on this day. My present checks since the first batch ordered in 2008, are in plain paper. I only remember that when I ordered them at the bank when I opened my checking account, I told the lady not to write my name with the M.D. as my Ohio checks appeared, and she had a copy of them. These would be my first checks since retirement and why to advertise my previous job. This time, on St. Valentine’s day, I found in the background of the new checks, this:
1. There is a "FISH diagram on top of the area of the date of the check". I had to call my son Omar to receive from him the exact meaning of this Greek symbol. He said that it means, "Jesus Christ, Son of God, savior…"
2. Then in huge letters in the background where the name of the person and the amount is written, it said, “I will say it again REJOICE.”
I would have never ordered this type of check afraid… of offending others… But my friend did it for me and now I suspect that tons of money is coming my way in order to give it away with the right check… It is also a tool of evangelization! God moved her to order this very distinct evangelizing tool. She must have been the one because the central printing place for this bank would not do it… Too risky and crazy for them! How alive He is! It also was a huge reprimand for me. Yes, I know that there are special checks to be ordered. I only asked in Toledo when I opened my account, 1998, to place the “Host on top of the Chalice” in a little metal depiction form, on top of the leather cover for the checks. This cover is turning ugly and getting too old but I want the Eucharist to be in charge of my money… However, I would have never ordered my present checks on my own… I thought it would be too much for other people. In the other hand, I have never seen this type of very Catholic look ever advertised by a bank as a possibility to be ordered. All in all, I love my checks and they make me smile from ear to ear… and yes, this was a quote from Philippians 4:4… “Rejoice in the Lord always; I shall say it again, rejoice.” I now have my leather cover matching the checks…
Tuesday, February 18
This date I counted my pain medication pills and I only have enough till March 4 if I only take two per day. I bought the non habit forming pain killer herb corydalis and it has a very mild action in alleviating pain… I cannot take Tylenol (I have now a huge allergy) nor Aleve, since this one could open up again the gastric ulcers… I do not see the doctor who ordered the probiotic and this narcotic until March 13. I do not see my brand new primary physician (since the previous one was let go from this group) until March 20. What shall I do for pain? Well, since He can give me special checks to remind me of His love, I will rejoice with this battle since He will win it. I will keep you posted. Yet, I would not mind for you to pray for this intention because I may have to stop attending daily Mass due the extreme pain in my knees!
During the Rosary, my Mother came to visit and said, “Ask the Holy Spirit for a message, and then open the Bible and read in the right side at the bottom. It was Baruch chapter 5. The chapter is very short but she said that this is what the Church will become before His final coming. She asked to exchange the word Jerusalem and instead read, “Catholic Church.” She also asked me to ask St. Joseph to tutor me in order to finish putting the book together and to find a way to publish it ASAP; also to intercede for the healing of my left eye. She then reminded me how St. Joseph was the one who when I was age 9 performed a miracle for me. My grandma had bought me a Schaeffer pen, very expensive in those days in my country, and how I lost it immediately and St. Joseph told me where it was before my grandma would find out… I had promised St. Joseph to say a daily Our Father for the rest of my life! Of course, the promised died a few weeks later. My Mother said to start paying my debt! She suggested making this request to him at Holy Hour. By the way, I was born in the city of San Jose… and he is the patron saint of Costa Rica… Therefore, I should really use his powerful intercession!
Wednesday, February 19.
I wrote in my journal, “I have no idea what the topic for the blog will be for this month.” None! Zilch!
Saturday, February 22
Story: many years ago on a February 22 in Ann Arbor, MI, Sr. Mary Faith, a nun working in my parish, St. Thomas Apostle, took me to my first Charismatic prayer group. I have told this story before but it needs repetition because will be tied to the main core of this blog: the power of the Holy Ghost.. I met her when I was trying to prepare my second son for Holy Communion as a first grader, since we were selling our home and planning to move to live in Costa Rica. This child did not know Spanish enough to understand the preparation for this most important Sacrament. She made it possible because it was complicated since my son had to be moved only for religion class with the second graders… On this visit, Sr. Mary Faith asked me if I was a member of the Word of God Community, the Charismatic community and well known in the country. The entire question was Chinese for me. I had no idea of what she meant at all. She said that I spoke as if I was part of this community. Anyway, she offered to take me to one of three prayer groups meeting on Thursdays throughout the city of Ann Arbor. She would take me 3 times and from then on, I would decide if I liked it.
So it was. She took me to the closest to our home in Miller Road and I found 400 or so people in a school gym praising God loudly and full of the Holy Ghost. Again, this was pure Chinese for me but I loved it. I signed up for the Life in the Spirit Seminars to be baptized in the Holy Ghost as it is depicted in the Acts of the Apostles, and I also told Sister not to accompany me anymore. I would return on my own. So, after attending the seminars, on May 19 of that year (or 519 as it appears above after Magon in honor of this wonderful moment) I was baptized which means, I reaffirmed my Sacraments of Baptism and Confirmation as some members prayed over me. Here I had started my love affair with the Holy Spirit, and of course, unbeknownst to me at that moment. So, on this Feb. 22 of 2014, I was celebrating my anniversary of meeting the Charismatic Movement for the first time. I will also share how is it that I ended up in Miller Road, in Scio Township…
We were living in a well-to-do super rich neighborhood north of Detroit, Bloomfield Hills. I was in my fifth year of private practice in Pontiac General Hospital, making $195,000 a year. My husband could not find a job in Pathology, his specialty then… He found a job in a tiny hospital, St. Joseph…in the town of Saline, about 20 to 30 minutes south of Ann Arbor. They also needed an anesthesiologist but “fee for service” (I would collect only what I billed my patients), since there were just a few cases a day. They were using a nurse anesthetist but the surgeons were legally responsible for her anesthetics. I came to work in Saline but after much deliberation, we decided to buy a home in Scio Township, about 10 minutes from downtown Ann Arbor and not in Saline; also super close to this gym where I encountered this affair with the Holy Spirit. This rather new home was huge and was in the market at a very cheap price since it would not sell. In a few months, my work at Saline ceased because I was on call day and night, 24/7, and I would be making about $25,000 a year which compared to $195,000, it was impossible to accept! I moved to the University of Michigan. And yes, God has all plans made for us. If we had not chosen Ann Arbor, I would not have met Sr. Mary Faith and I would have not seen what the movement was at that time, fire on this earth.
On this my anniversary, our parish had a healing Mass at 10 AM. I arrived at 9:20 and went to sit nearby the Tabernacle. I was suddenly totally covered by a sense of goodness, of happiness, of completion, of love and I heard this: “You are tasting the sweetness of Jesus’ friendship. Make this the topic of your blog.” Normally each month by this date I do know what the topic will be. Not this time! But I was like glued to the Tabernacle from my nearby sitting. I did not want to look anywhere. I did not want to pray or think about anything. I was spell bound by this sweetness of His friendship, and remembered how Jesus said that He would call us His friends…
Little did I know that this was the beginning of a huge day of encounters. I had chosen to go to this healing Mass specifically to ask for the grace to be able to say yes to God’s will in the most perfect way, since I still had kept wondering why He seems to have ordained certain things for me to do for the Kingdom and I felt they were too much for me, due to age and zero theology background. I was not asking to be healed of my maladies: overactive immune system with secondary severe pain in my knees with every food that lands in my stomach and intestines and a poor left eyesight. This part was secondary. Two priests anointed us after the homily and shortly after, the pain in my knees redoubled… and I had not consumed anything since breakfast around 7 AM. It was very hard to walk back to the car… and probably the worse in weeks. At times I wanted to laugh about this confusion of results… Yet, I had no idea that God had a huge plan that He was developing right and there.
After coming home around 12 Noon, I had lunch and my Mother started talking… In hindsight, at this Mass, I received a needed healing … one that I will NEVER FORGET, ever!
Our Lady – 1:30 PM: “We are going to talk about the Holy Spirit and the sweetness of His friendship” Then we talked about the New Pentecost. I said, “Some say that the New Pentecost is already happening. Some say it is coming soon!” I started meditating on this subject and writing the following and I believe that it was the Holy Ghost then taking over my thoughts. I wrote this: “Actually, each one of us already had our Pentecost at Baptism and Confirmation. What we need is to renew what we should already know: WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE LED BY THE INDWELLING HOLY GHOST? It is obvious that the Bible is clear and the “yes” to God’s will is indispensable for the Holy Spirit to spiritually impregnate us with Christ in a spiritual sense, so to be able to take Him to others in His power! We then must learn to be led by the Spirit and this cannot happen until we say ‘yes’ to whatever God allows in our lives.”
I realized that even receiving the topic of the blog, the content was vague. What did the Holy Spirit want me to write about? And suddenly I realized that I had asked at the healing Mass for the grace to emit a perfect “yes” to all that has been announced for me to do. However, the healing consisted in a big correction of my poor theology of asking for such thing. He had just given me the answer: the Lord wanted me to understand that such “yes” will always need my cooperation in order to lead me to say a perfect “yes.” My healing consisted in the understanding that my will needed to submit to His but as my CHOICE! That is that my “yes” becomes a true yes only as I willfully and consciously submit to His will BUT IN ACTION. He cannot impose it on me. He is too just to do that. In the other hand, my yes is lip service if I say it and turn around and try to change it or want to escape from it. I know that in part, Satan loves to give me fear, but my flesh is a great contributor. I am a perfectionist since day one on this earth. And wanting to do things perfectly especially for those who may be part of this work for the Kingdom, will take me to say a yes that is tentative, even that I do not want to do that. Also, after so much persecution, I want to retire from the public eye and hopefully prevent more persecutions gestated by Satan, as always. And many would not understand this last phrase because they have not walked in my shoes.
Again, my original request was erroneous! He cannot give me the grace for a perfect “yes” on my part. I suddenly realized that this understanding will help me to run this spiritual journey with extreme care to say “yes” over and over in order to keep renewing the grace of tasting the sweetness of His friendship AND THIS HAPPENS TO BE HOW WE LIVE IN THE SPIRIT! Living in the Spirit means that my lived “yes” to His will frees me from worrying about what to write in this blog despite my zero theological background, or what is next that I must do for the Kingdom! There is nothing to worry about because by I choosing to say yes to God’s will with great desire and devotion to give Him glory, it will produce an ongoing Pentecost in my soul (or I will be Living in the Spirit) which will protect me from spiritual mishaps regarding what I write or about what I will end up doing for the Kingdom and it will protect others as well!
Also, I did encounter an issue around me that disquieted my spirit during this healing Mass and at home I understood that this suffering was necessary for me to receive the Anointing of the Sick and produce this major spiritual healing of my sickly soul! He already had commanded me to REJOICE with my checks, but I had no idea that this was the day of rejoicing in the Spirit, precisely on the anniversary of the beginning of a brand new relationship with the Holy Ghost three decades before. Wow!
My “yes” therefore has to be fresh, beautiful, ever new in its content of abandonment to His plans for me, since it is in this act of mine that God, the Holy Trinity will pour His Spirit providing all the direction, gifts, fruits, blessings, faith, hope and charity that I will need for Him to win all my battles with my flesh, the world and Satan! It is a done deal… It is also obvious that we need the Holy Spirit freely acting in our inner temples as in an ongoing Pentecost in order to savor the sweetness of Jesus’ friendship, which actually means that we need the Holy Spirit freely acting within but as a fruit of our constant yes to God’s will, in order to grow in our personal encounter with Jesus. Once we enter this so sweet state of life aided by so much grace, then we can become very successful evangelizers even without trying… like St. Peter did in Acts. 2 when 3,000 converted in the spot.
We can call ourselves charismatic’s or Spirit filled or working in the power of the Holy Spirit, but it needs to truly become a movement within ourselves as we are transformed from glory to glory in the FIRE OF THE HOLY GHOST. And it is all in the Bible. Our Lady was the magician that showed us how it gets done…Where was I in all these years when I wanted to be sure that my yes was ready to do what I was asked to? As a Baptized and Confirmed daughter of my Dad, I have all that I need to run and say yes and expect the Holy Ghost to do marvelous things. In fact, a few hours after this healing Mass, I felt like I was thirsting for saying yes to His will and no matter what in order to be totally engulfed by the Holy Ghost, and this way to become a formidable piece for the New Evangelization. I felt free, renewed and awake!
Monday, Feb. 24.
7:45 AM after breakfast and in front of my little altar in the television room, my Mother said, “The least you know about what is next, the better it is because it requires much more faith. The only things that you must always REMEMBER are the following:
1. God has a plan for each of His children. This plan cannot be fulfilled by anyone else. It is unique for each child.
2. Knowing ahead of time the details of each plan are inconsequential, irrelevant, if the person does not assume its position as a servant with a clear yes to whatever God may ask of him/her. Or said differently, the particular plan evolves according to the person’s desire to step aside and have the Holy Spirit take over. Calling the Holy Spirit WITHOUT the pure intention to say “yes” to His plan in action (death to self will) is useless!
3. Each servant should understand that his/her spiritual success is not in what can be done and that he/she will do but that it totally depends in what God is allowed to do in his/her life to develop the plan.
4. It is precisely in this giving him/herself away to His plan that he/she can experience the sweetness of His friendship. In other words, any work done for the Kingdom and as successful as it may look in human terms, has minimal spiritual value if done by human intelligence/capacity, entrepreneur and with human plans. Spiritual renewal accompanies good works only as God has planned it since He is the only one that can change souls through His Spirit.
5. To become friends of God and true followers of Jesus demands an ongoing spiritual growth or renewal that grows each day little by little; this requires a letting go of personal plans and letting God be the director of each project. Even worrying about this process of decentralization in your souls or to let go, may become an obstacle because the soul wants to even control how to let go and let God, and the ego becomes preoccupied as to how to control such process, and this becomes an obstacle simply because this process is governed by God’s grace and mercy, not my human effort. Perfect unity with the indwelling Holy Trinity is up to God depending on the soul’s desire to submit every day a little more! The effects of original sin can obstruct this work of decentralization. Every new day should be saluted as a new opportunity for conquering your personal will and submit it to God’s will, but always having in mind that such submission efforts may tend to distract the soul from the fact that God does everything through His grace as long as He finds each soul totally disposed to comply with His will.
6. The accompanying job next to this disposition to a total yes to God’s desires is to love brothers and sisters in the way they need for that moment. Since no human being knows with certainty what the other soul needs, what kind of love will soothe the other one’s psyche and soul, he/she should rely only in the purity of intention behind the act of loving, which is to comply with the second most important commandment to love others as oneself. The Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Love Himself will direct the process of expressing such love. It could be in silence, with a hug or smile or a shake of hands, etc. The point here is to underline the need to be compliant to the Spirit’s promptings. The more the Holy Spirit takes over the soul where It dwells, that much more the soul learns to submit and become little, like a baby, and let God pour His mercy upon such trustful soul.
Anything that interferes with the obedience of this commandment (for example, feeling much resentment against the social media in all of its outlets, often lying and exaggerating sins for the Catholic Church), stain’s your soul and makes prayer for them ineffectual. Not only that, but this resentment is carried next to the much needed submission to let God and let go of your plans, which usurps the holiness of this act of abandonment to God’s will. It also makes any prayer for those in the media, for example, totally ineffectual. Such resentment must be resolved at each present moment and as often as it shows up, with the conscious decision of repenting, feeling contrition and wanting to amend – all possible by asking God for the grace to love them and to pray for them right at that moment, not later. THESE ARE THE THORNS found in the way of growing in the friendship with Jesus and that must be plugged out little by little. You will never love perfectly your brothers and sisters, but THE INTENTION TO SUBMIT TO THE TRUTH OF THE GOSPEL in spiritual terms has more power than an atomic bomb.
7. At no time there should be a desire to “know” what is next in your lives. The constant alertness to let go and to love brothers and sisters is a busy process, enough to keep you busy. You do not need more distractions.
8. What is wrong with the world is well known. Spending time listening to the pros and cons of different situations can become a distraction. Keep notice of the latest news but not to ponder over them to no end. Do it only to pray for each situation. Do not despair at what you see. God can change all hearts in an instant. He only requires of your alertness to see the problems and KNOW WITHOUT ANY HESITATION that He is in charge 24/7.
9. Any suffering of any kind, health related or otherwise, is the salt and pepper needed to garnish and increase the flavor and value of your sacrifice for the different intentions as you have them written. (I have made a list of sufferings and adjudicated different intentions to each one. The count is now 14, from the suffering of daily racing in the express way n order to go to Mass, to the difficulty in parking sometimes in my parish and always at the local Whole Food Health store, to eating the same few foods in order to avoid major pain, etc.)
10. Evangelization coming from this life style then becomes an easier task and with great success. Again, your daily life is not what you do but what you allow God to do through you. Then, anything that you ask for while guided in this form by the Holy Spirit will be given to you, since it is the Spirit within you that reigns while you, the servant, are ready with a big “yes” to all things.
(9 AM: I said, “How wonderful it is to be able to share this with others in my blog.”)
My Mother: Well, this is for you first and foremost to live out in order for your sharing to find fertile soil on those who read it. The power of this inner daily conversion is essential for your sharing, so not to find many thorns along the way that will oppose the following by others of this teaching.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
10:15 AM: as I was getting ready to go to Holy Hour and Mass, I suddenly found myself understanding something important and stopped and sat to write what it was, so not to forget it. This is what became clear:
“We want to be in control even of our own emotions. Sometimes we have to be vulnerable and look like a child would! Yet, often we seek control of our own vulnerability. We cannot stand it looking weak in any form. This spiritual flaw can only be cured when we live an inner ongoing Pentecost, that is, when the Spirit is the One guiding us to look weak or not and we do not try to control it. Control, control and more control of our words, actions, feelings have become the motto of the present times after the world has evangelized us with the gospel of prosperity and happiness, which depends on us being in control of ourselves as many say, with constant work to be the best and the least vulnerable. Only LIVING IN THE SPIRIT can end this major spiritual thorn!
The Holy Spirit came to show me how He can re-route my little theology background and also understand so many things. With it He has proven to me that He is truly in charge. Fruits of this evangelization of my soul are so far:
1. A deeper attraction and desire to do God’s will and like never before. I now feel the futility of not applying myself to constantly saying “yes” to each present moment. There is much to lose if I do not do it, and much to gain in the joy of sensing the sweetness of Jesus’ friendship. This whole process can also improve my sharing of the “Joy of the Gospel”
2. I now thirst to pray 3 Rosaries a day… I just needed the unction of the Holy Oil to “see” a little more. I wonder how much more I will understand, know and live so that my faith is not empty, not just words but full of works, that is, by choosing on my own accord to do His will always. Even the prayers of the Our Father and the Hail Mary seem to have more meaning
3. It seems that I can sense the importance of receiving the awareness of Satan’s work around me, but not to fear him but to manage his attacks, temptations, innuendos and lies. Living in the Spirit keeps this awareness fresh and full of wisdom to keep Satan in a corner.
4. 11:10 AM – At Church in Holy Hour on September 25: I have clearly seen the grace that comes from our yes to God’s will, that is, the grace to enjoy the sweetness of Jesus’ friendship’. He referred me to a page in my little Bible: Acts 2. The Apostles received the Holy Ghost and their lives changed radically. St. Peter’s first speech after Pentecost converted 3,000… There you have a very succulent work of evangelization… On Acts 2:47 it says, “And every day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved.” Who converted those hearts? The Spirit of God through St. Peter and companions. St. Peter quotes words from the book of Joel that say, “It will come to pass in the last days,” God says, “That I will pour out a portion of My spirit upon all flesh.” Acts. 2: 17a.
Therefore, living in the Spirit as described to me on Feb. 22, is a must… I cannot call the Holy Spirit as if He is outside of me… Nooo! He is inside of me and ready to take over, as He did with Our Lady’s heart, and when she pronounced a convincing “yes” to God’s will (I am the servant of the Lord. Do unto me according to Thy word …..) the power of the Holy Spirit with the will of the Father, brought the Second Person of the Trinity to this earth with a Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity, and this to redeem us. And later after He paid for our redemption, He went to heaven to send His Spirit back with us to give us the power of being sons and daughters of the most high and enjoy all the fruits of such privilege.
Everything is clear in our Church’s teachings, the Scriptures, the life of the Saints. What is lacking is our own diligence to quit all non sense and truly seek God day and night by the quality of our yes to His will. As a Church, I wonder if you should take a peek at what we mean by Living in the Spirit. I know one thing: I will try very hard at purifying my “yes” to His will, and such life only means that I will be inviting the Holy Spirit to take possession of my mind, body and soul allowing me to develop the plan for which I was created. Anything other than such plan is superfluous, crazy and why not to call it stupid. I am in need of the spiritual gasoline to put into practice obedience to the commandments at all times. All crosses will be blessings in disguise and super necessary for this my yes to be perfected in purity of intention and in quality of desire to emit it. Let us pray for each other…
By the way, thank you tons of times for your prayers. I am still walking on water during this furious storm with my health issues. I need to keep going and perfecting my yes… And I promise you that from now on, I am offering the suffering of my maladies, all of them, from traveling in the expressway at 70 miles an hour with a bad left eye and with pain sometimes, drugged other times, to confronting the possibility of not having any pain pills for a while, for all of you who are reading this blog since some of you must be praying for me because otherwise, I would have not received my beautiful checks and would not have enjoyed rejoicing with the sweetness of Jesus’ friendship! I have to pay for your generosity. I am also sorry for repeating some ideas over and over, but I transcribe them as I received them, and I guess that God uses repetition as a technique to wire my brain and soul!
“I will say it again, rejoice.”