This message covers many angles of my ongoing conversion. It is amazing what God can do in one month for a soul … I must say that I have followed my plan of hourly offering my crosses that were accepted, embraced and used for others. I will use the calendar sequence to narrate the events that followed.
Thursday, December 27.
I entered my parish at 11:25 AM for noon Mass and immediately I became deeply oppressed or full of internal desolation. After Communion I asked Him for an end to these very difficult moments. He, in turned, reassured me that He was in charge and for me to go along with the plan. Shortly after, I had no oppression.
Saturday, December 29.
I had no problems the previous day, but on this Saturday, again, I had a terrible moment of desolation upon arriving in Church. I had half hour before Mass. In this time, I understood clearly that the trick to the times in our world and in the Catholic Church is to live only today. Then He added, “Your crosses are essential.” I thought of my crosses made of so varied number of health problems and not to know what will be happening tomorrow. He said, “No, your crosses are many more. I know that you suffer much when you find little understanding of My Real Presence, not as a concept, but as a reality that demands a relationship with each one of you; another cross is the media, which repeats the same news over and over, with many opinions from many sources; the cross of a society that cannot see or understand, but they think they do…” I then was able to add many other crosses from my life, including my oppressions. I had to leave the place. The inner desolation was impossible to bear!
Sunday, December 30.
At the 8 AM Mass, without oppression and after Communion, He said, “No more oppressions from this day on. They were allowed for the sake of someone else, but they are not necessary anymore.” I became suspicious if this was coming from Satan. So, even that His Presence, Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity was within me, I asked His Holy Spirit for help discern. Then, Jesus repeated the same message: “No more oppressions.” Well, time has passed since then, and yes, the oppressions have disappeared. At least, I now know that He was behind them and so if they were to return, I will be more faithful to suffer them for whatever person(s) need it or perhaps for my own purification.
Thursday, January 3rd.
I was looking for some important documents that I kept in a plastic envelope, and out of it, a little leaflet of Our Lady Queen of the Universe came out. As I have related many times before, in 1985 or 1986 and under this title I enthroned her in my home. In 1988, I made a trip to Illinois to visit her Shrine and bought a number of these leaflets where it is explained how on October 11th, 1954, Pope Pius XII established the feast of the Queenship of Mary to be celebrated throughout the world, and commanded that on that day each year, the world should renew its consecration to her. The feast is celebrated on August 22. I have also written in detail how in the early nineties, she started doing miracles in the homes of people where I would send her picture. Ever since, she has been placed in the screen of my computers and now I can see how important this is since I write these blogs without any theological formation, since her image is always behind the document I am writing the blog in. It turned out that she is the patroness of this Diocese of Oakland, although she is known as Our Lady Queen of the World, but with the same feast day of August 22. Well, the moment she came out of this envelope, I knew she was signaling that under this title she was present more than ever. If I sent her picture to others and miracles happened, huge miracles, this time it was my time. Her picture had just appeared. I must add that I have a huge painting of hers and a large statue, but both are in storage…
I attended the noon Mass and in the late afternoon I started having severe diarrhea, which lasted for four days. It turned out to be that the “noro-virus” was all over this area, and yes, I almost died with it…
Saturday, January 5.
I was dying. My last meal had been a protein shake at 10 AM on Friday. I turned EWTN on and found the Rosary for Life at 12:30 PM. As I was praying, she interrupted at times with great messages of consolation. At one point, she said, “Just keep doing what you are doing. Rosaries are very good to stop Satan, but what really unleashes God’s mercy is your total trust in His Divine Providence! Against that, there is no equal! In fact, praying Rosaries are meant to be said not for what you need or want – since your Father knows it – but mostly to ask that you keep saying ‘yes’ to everything out of total trust in God’s love for you. This stops the devil on his tracks.”
By 4:15 PM, as I started cooking some chili, and in the process, I thought I would die. However, I continued because the ground turkey would get spoiled (6 lbs of it), since I cook a bunch and freeze in individual portions for my son with a recipe given to me by Wendy’s restaurant… Of course, I use turkey to avoid so much red meat. On this day, I had pulses of 93 and 98. I was truly under the cross. It was a super day for saving souls…
Sunday, January 6.
I could not attend Mass despite being a Sunday. I had lost 6 pounds, of which, 3 were probably just water and 3 of fat. I smiled because this was a great detoxification event for my body. Science says that one has to detoxify oneself at least annually… The Lord kept reminding me of the importance of embracing this huge cross and with a huge yes. I understood that prayer is not powerful without a commitment to be abandoned to God’s will, which is the faith that moves mountains and souls. Later you will understand how important it was to be under this heavy cross for four days.
Later this day, the constant diarrhea stopped. I had not answered my friends, the Carmelite Nuns in Auco, Chile, the convent where St. Teresa of the Andes lived in and died. They always send me a beautiful E- card for Christmas. So, on this Sunday I did thank them and asked them for prayers for my health. They answered and said that they would.
Monday, January 7.
All the TV news had to do with the changes expected for the second administration of Mr. Barack Hussein Obama. I was feeling better but terribly exhausted from the four days of viral infection. There was no way to go to Mass, but at the same time, this cross I am sure was part of the growth for this month. Yes, my oppressions disappeared and a new cross had come and was still in the process of resolution.
At 11:20 AM, my Mother said, “Every hour pay attention to your crosses. Review them. Be aware of them. Do not think of anything else but to say ‘yes’ to them. Call me under the title of Queen of the Universe to help you stay in that moment with a yes that refuses to think of the future, which is a time that does not exist! Accept your crosses but sincerely. Accepting something but without really wanting it is not the way to embrace your crosses. The fact that you quickly review your crosses every hour while awake and as possible to do (I understood that I could not do it while driving and shopping), it is a way to remember them so that when the suffering becomes hard to bear, you are not taken by surprise and you can immediately relate the suffering to the ‘Cross’ and say yes without much difficulty. Otherwise, you may focus on dealing with the pain of the cross and forget the source and begin to revolt against it. The moment you start resisting the suffering produced by the crosses, you are resisting the source of it, God Who is behind it. This way you get trained to deal in embracing your crosses as asked by my Son and there will be much grace released to defeat discouragement.
“In the other hand, every hour after your review your crosses, remember things that God has done for you and that has proven His great loving guidance for you and your family. This practice will become a way to decrease any fear or anxiety regarding your present crosses.” (Me: Wow…) She continued, “Finally, rejoice and give thanks to God every hour for the crosses, the suffering they bring and for His will to allow them for the good of others.” At this point she gave me a page in the Bible.
Mark 14: 33. It was about Jesus being alone in Gethsemane, with his closest friends falling asleep… followed by His trial. It was clear that I was reminded that following Him must include major trials. In another page, I came to 2Sam 24. In there, David had counted his troops, meaning that this king was not trusting God for the battles to be fought against his enemies. The story is the same… How often we spend so much time wondering what is next because we do not TRUST in God’s power to win every battle of ours? Please keep this in mind for later. It is interesting that David repented and wanted to offer a sacrifice and went to buy some land to erect a sacrificial altar… The land was offered to him by the owner free of charge, but David responded, “No, I must pay you for it, for I cannot offer to the Lord my God holocausts that cost nothing!” Clearly, if translated to our times, atonement for sins, personal and of others requires paying for the holocaust with our crosses.
I continued to be fed with the Word of God. I was directed by pages to Job 33-38. Job had these three friends trying to teach him a lesson. Then, another friend came, a young man, Elihu who tried to convince Job of the reasons why he was suffering so much. This man’s discourse was eloquent about his belief in God. Finally, God came to address Job and gives him a lesson as to why he doubted in His providence. At the end, Job was given everything back… But his friends all were so eloquent and defending God’s actions against Job and condemned Job for his offenses against Him… What happened? It was clear to me that we can say the right things about God but not because we know Him personally. It is obvious… Job did have a personal relationship with God… The others knew God through words but did not have the intimacy that Job had with God. Job had complained to his friend God and He reprimanded him but did not condemn him although did condemn his friends. Now, it was Job who was named the intercessor intermediary of these men in order for God to forgive them… At this moment, my crosses started to feel soo light… When there is intimacy with our God, intimacy pursued by blind obedience to His will and love of neighbor plus a great yes to our crosses, we become evangelizers and our crosses at the end will speak of a relationship with God…
This whole story reminded me that prayer is defined well as a conversation with God, except that one cannot converse with someone one does not know! And so, we have made of prayer a bunch of words… Our fault? Nah… We simply have not understood how easy it is to be God’s intimate friend, which means that we just do His will no matter what, embrace our crosses and follow Him, or do whatever He did while on earth. This is when we can devise ways to get our plastic brains inducted into a sequence of events where we can honor Him and hopefully, hour by hour. Then, He does the rest. If we go and sit in front of His Eucharistic Presence and ask for the grace to be faithful in being attentive in His Presence hour after hour, yeah, it is very good, but at the end, if we come out and do whatever we want, well, we interrupt the connection, the “Divine electricity” that keep us focused in saying “yes” all day long… Prayer without abandonment to His Providence loses much spiritual force.
I wonder at times how is it that we have not formed a special ministry in each parish to “get to know Him personally.” It must be a group who does not talk and talk and talk about it… It has to be group where we induct our brains into the hall of fame of doing whatever He tells us. It has to be a group of individuals who get together to learn how to cooperate with God in order for Him to show us His intimacy… And by the way, this then should be passed to the youth. They are thirsty… but simply have not been re-wired from within, in the brain, that is to be abandoned to whatever He wants of us, so that when they grow up they will keep doing it and inducting others to the same hall of fame. Getting together to sing and talk about God in general and even pray, without instruction as to how to get to know Him personally through our obedience to His will, appears to me to be an incomplete plan.
Tuesday, January 8.
Through the Internet I gathered literature regarding the anatomy of my immune system, eyes and autonomic nervous in order to start working on imagery of those systems. Imagery as explained before, is the science where we form images which our right brain thinks is reality, and the brain with its great plasticity, re-wires itself and orders the rest of the body to act consistently with the images formed. An example given in past blogs, in 1985, I met a PhD in education who was diagnosed with terminal cancer of the liver at the Cleveland Clinic where his brother was a surgeon. He was sent home to die. No even chemotherapy was offered. So, using the instructions of the book, “Getting Well Again,” he imagined his immune system cells being white elephants that ate his cancer cells, for 10 minutes twice a day. I met him 10 years after his cure…
In my case, the information obtained the day before via Internet, had beautiful pictures in color of everything, and for imagery, they are precious to examine often for the right brain to have a photo of everything. I thought of getting a copy made a Kinkos since I do not have a color printer. Yet, I asked my Lord if it really was His will. Would imagery help me? I called the Holy Spirit to tell me. I asked for a page in the Bible with the word “yes” if I should proceed. I opened the Bible and there it was. On one side it was Jeremiah 30: 17a: “For I will restore you to health; of your wounds I will heal you, says the Lord.” (This in the context that He would bring Judah and Israel back to the Holy Land. Of course, for me, it meant true health). In the other page I found Jeremiah 31:6 – “Yes, a day will come when the watchmen will call you out of Mount Ephraim. “
So, I took off for Kinkos (very close to my home) even that I was still very weak but all oppressions were gone… I found an employee by the name of James; a man may be in his late 30’s. I took the information in a mini disk and he made the copies for me and even suggested to allow him to place the three different topics, immune system, eye and autonomic nervous system anatomies in a binder with special dividers… The man was an angel… I left with a book of information, 63 pages in total with colored pictures and I only paid $25… Please recognize here how God works. He is the leader. He answers all our needs. And yes, I am in the process of studying and photographing these pictures in my right brain, in order to make scripts of imagery, where my bad immune cells which are responsible for allergic reactions called Immunoglobulin E, will be tamed. Since I have also become an expert in my eye anatomy, I will work on it as well, especially that at this writing, I have already visited an ophthalmologist and know what is wrong. More on it later.
I must add that in this week, I was still recuperating from the extreme dehydration and actions of the noro-virus. Little could I do without feeling exhausted, but, it was glorious. I was embracing that cross with a huge smile. What a treasure within this earthen vessel.
Thursday, January 10
Still with some exhaustion, I had my second visit with my internist for my physical examination. This cross is heavy. This lady is beautiful, nice, but I have a list of very difficult maladies. All throughout the visit, I called the Holy Spirit in order to only say what was necessary. The assistant came to take an electrocardiogram. She ordered consultations with a cardiologist and with an ophthalmologist. Yes, this was the beginning of a huge cross. The imbalance of the autonomic system is poorly known by most doctors. In fact, it is most common in children and young adults. Little by little, I have understood that most likely toxicity from the environment, and fluoride can be one of them, which are present everywhere, water, tooth paste and anesthetic gases, could be part of this toxic state that does one thing: produces an imbalance of the electrical flow.
I have written in this site how when back in the late 90’s, I studied the electrical flow from cell to cell and had learned to find out if we are allergic to a food? You ask the “patient” to extend both arms to the side and the tester tries to push down the arms and the patient opposes it… Second step: If there is an allergy let’s say to onions, the patient extends both arms and in one hand holds an onion… The tester does the pushing down and the arm with the onion gives in automatically. I used to try this with my parish friends in Toledo and they were fascinated. What does it mean? It means that the electricity running through the muscles that oppose the tester’s push is INTERRUPTED by an allergy, or the meeting of the allergen or antigen (onion) and the antibody already present in the immune system…
In one of those epiphanies that God is used to give me for my health and how I learned about POTS and carrageenan (depression), etc., I got it…. I have so many allergies to so many things, that my electrical circuitry is a mess… Every time that I ingest something that I am allergic to, my immune cells sense it and send antibodies (a.k.a. chemicals) to the blood and to the area of contact and bingo, my electricity becomes disrupted, including in my autonomic nervous system, and this creates an imbalance. The two parts do not speak to each other because the electrical flow has been interrupted. I wonder if this possible explanation could find ears in the allopathic medical field (MD’s). I loved physics as a pre-med student, and actually graduated as the best among all the science majors in the subjects of physics and biochemistry. Somehow and many years later, I became learned in electricity in our bodies. Even later, I found the writings and teachings of an Indian lady in Los Angeles, a physician and a PhD, through whom I learned how to tell if one is allergic to something as explained above. Again, God is ahead of our needs. I could not survive my daily living without my treatments with a hand held electrical acupuncture device for pain after I eat something forbidden that most likely restores the electrical flow within minutes… It does not cure the problem, but ablates the pain for the time being. All in all, I could become a difficult patient to my colleagues, were I to mention all of this. I insist in repeating all of this science in this blog just to emphasize how God prepares us with knowledge to be used later.
When I was done with this second visit with the internist, there was a long hallway leading to the exit door. A younger man (late 30’s) was coming in and already into the hallway at least 10 yards… (Think of a football field). I was at least 40 yards away, and when he saw me, he went back to the door, opened it and waited for me to exit. This is done everywhere I go regarding opening the door for me by women and men, but in this case it was too much, and I always say, "I love to find angels opening my door." I added, "You mom taught you very good manners." He smiled from ear to ear and said, “I will tell Mom about it." Also, just a couple of days ago I came out of my car at the same time of younger woman, and we both were going to a 7Eleven store. She saw me and ran ahead to open the door for me. This is the language of a God Who wants to use His images to let me now that He is there, always moving other souls to help me. Amazing! How can I not want to look at my crosses and with great love offer them up hourly for my brothers and sisters since He makes us feel that we are one family?
Monday, January 14.
I arrived in my parish at 11:15 AM and still not feeling too well. I had no desire to pray. I only wanted to be with Him. There are times that just being there next to Him makes me feel complete, totally happy, full of joy. But He started to talk and said, “Never think of your crosses as impediments for your happiness but as INSTRUMENTS OF SALVATION, OF MERCY. When you do not find true faith around you, be patient with them because it means that they do not see, hear or know. Regarding your future work for Me, would I call you to do something without my support and mercy? I have prepared you with many years of experience of Us living together. Yes? (I said, “It is true.”) For this moment, you are a lamp that needs to shine.” (I asked, “But why the way You want it done?”) He answered, “Does it make any difference how I do it?” (I answered, “No.”)
I immediately I felt inundated with so much love for Him and so, I made it known in words although it is obvious that He already knew it. He said, “Let’s go to carry the cross for the salvation of many!”
Then a second revelation came through. I asked him to cure my left eye, knowing that I had an appointment with the ophthalmologist for the following day, and worried about my renewal of the driver’s license. He then asked me for three things which in retrospect I would call “Blessed Spiritual Blindness.”
1. ”Be blind to all that others do, whether politicians, actors, Priests, fellow lay people. That means, keep your eyes on Me and when you sense or see something wrong, immediately see in them My images and not the sin. Then proceed to offer your distaste or suffering of the moment for them but always thinking of them as images of God, because they are.
2. “Be blind to everything that has to do with your call to share our relationship with others. Always remain blind to the next moment and do it to show Me how much you are abandoned to My providence. I will take care of every detail…”
I offered the Holy Mass for this to be done and offered my “yes” agreeing to do it. In summary: I had asked Him to cure my physical blindness, but apparently I should practice a “blessed spiritual blindness,” a practice that will lead me to love of neighbor and love of Him, a most important grace which will bless me much more.
Tuesday, January 15.
I went to see the ophthalmologist. While I waited, I said one Rosary for me and all in the office, including patients.
This is what I wrote to my sons:
As time passes by, I am more in love with my God than ever… What a God and thanks for those who prayed for me. Today, I first saw an assistant who went over my history, the juicy one. Then went to the optometrist in her early 30’s… She found out that my last eye does not see. Peripherally I could see but only huge letters. Right eye has a 20/20 vision with corrective glasses. According to the ophthalmologist the law of this State requires only one good eye with at least 20/200 vision and I have 20/20!!!! . Pressure in my right eye, the good one was18. Pressure in my bad eye was 16. Both normal. So no glaucoma. He saw that the cup of my right optic nerve was big and it is afraid of a future glaucoma in the good eye. He wants me back to study that.
The ophthalmologist said that it is CRVO… that means central retinal vein obstruction. Apparently it is a total occlusion and with loss of vision in the center of the retina. According to the Internet, CRVO is still an enigma. Nobody knows why it happens. Yet, no cases were reported that the CRVO disappeared as it did in my case from 2006 to 2008, when my exam was normal. I asked permission to give him my take on what could be behind, like a herpetic viral lesion… First he said he disagreed, but soon after, he said it is a theory but cannot be discarded. Overall, no reason for the present CRVO according to the literature!!!!! He wants me to visit a retinologist and to come back to check the right eye to avoid a future glaucoma.
O. K… Now look at the miracles:
1. There were two front desk/secretary women. As I was checking out and they were making the two appointments with the retinologist, they acted so nicely, so loving, and I said, let me give you a gift. I mentioned my findings on memory and depression.
a) One had lost her memory after an anesthetic for about 3 weeks and needs more general anesthesia.
b) The other has a sister-in-law whose brother suffer with major depressions.
2. The nice young lady optometrist had received the same gift, and she was fascinated. She lost her memory for 3 months after the birth of her son… It happened to me after the birth of my third son.
3. The young man who took care of ordering my glasses knows of someone with depressions…
All three women were sooo fascinated with the info that were almost crying, In all, I had to tell them that if God gave me this knowledge, I had to share it with them. They were believers in a God and I did not ask details… and of course, they were surprised by these findings. All three were reminded to pay attention to keep their natural detoxification improved by the way they eat, and explained shortly in what consists of. And this because they wanted to know right and there how to detoxify from fluoride.
I offered to meet with them out of the work place and building to better explain all about it, but now when I return for the glasses, I will take copies to them of everything… and sooner than expected. In that office, there was a great moment of evangelization by loving these women as images of God, and they received it as such. GOD HAD A PLAN… and a big one. (End of report to family)
All in all, I will be able to get a driver’s license. But the whole event came together with my call to become blinded to anything but His Presence. My physical blindness will always remind me what I have to do, that is to be blind to my neighbor’s sins as Jesus did. This same conclusion was repeated to me the following day. And now my bad eye has become a way for me to remember to be blind to other’s sins… Romans 8:28 is simply true!
Wednesday, January 16.
While saying the Rosary with EWTN, He said that if He is blind to our sins and that explains His mercy, shouldn’t I do the same with my brothers and sisters? Amazing truth that I heard again. I arrived for Mass at 10:50 AM. Another day that I wanted to be there just to be with Him. I started practicing my blessed spiritual blindness and then He asked me to check a page in the little Bible in my purse because I would find an important message.
Mathew 18: 2-4; 21-22. The greatest in the Kingdom
“Unless you turn and become like children you will not enter the Kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the Kingdom of heaven. (Peter asked) “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as 7 times?” Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but 77 times.”
Then He said to me, “If you become blind to what your brothers or sisters do or not, you are in route to forgive 77 times and would be like a child who does not know how to judge.”
Sunday, January 20.
It was a big day in this country. Before 8 AM Mass I had so much joy. How hard it is to hide among other parishioners, so people may not think that I am crazy, or worse, that I am trying to call attention like I was told in my last parish. I stayed away from the news because it was hard to practice “spiritual blessed blindness” in the present circumstances of this country. Suddenly, I was given a tremendous plan as to how to proceed and do something about it. It was a clear plan, a new conversion that I need and something that I should have arrived at a long time ago. I then knew what I had to do the following day in one of the feasts of Our Lady.
Monday, January 21.
This is the precious feast day of my Mother under the title of High Grace or Altagracia, the patroness of the Dominican Republic, my husband’s country of origin.
At 9:15 AM, while an encore presentation of the EWTN Mass was going on, I understood that we have to do something radical to stop the final spiritual chaos of this country. It was a little hard to have seen huge crowds in a very cold Washington, DC, admiring a man who will advance his agenda of immorality. It was a repugnant moment to me and nobody seems to have the answer to stop it, or at least I thought so at the time!
I arrived to my parish at 11:05 AM in order to make my consecration to Our Lady of Altagracia, pray a Rosary and do what I had just been told to do, become blind to whatever others do or do not do. I must repeat here that I was sent to this country at all cost –à from having the State Department contribute paying for my scholarship as an exchange student and learn English, to have been given a medical degree free of cost to be able to contribute to the well being of my compatriots (I have been a U.S. citizen for a long time) in the practice of medicine. Suddenly I knew I had something to do for this U.S.A..
On arrival, He said, “Say first a Rosary against Satan influence everywhere, and then go to page 60 of your Bible.” I did pray the Rosary/Chaplet of Mercy and read what page 60 had to offer.
Matthew 26: 21, 24.
“And while they were eating, He said, ‘Amen, I say to you, one of you will betray Me. The Son of Man indeed goes, as it is written of Him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed. It would be better for that man if he had never been born.”
This reading caused me much pain thinking of the state of souls who were parading a totally false Christianity and visiting churches prior to the events of the day, at the same time that they are ready to kill babies and restrict religious liberty. I felt guilty for not having done enough… Then, I consecrated myself to Our Lady and officially, in His Presence in front of the Tabernacle, I proceeded to do what I was told the day before: I adopted this image of God, Barack Hussein Obama as my fifth son. I asked Our Lady of Altagracia to look after him. At the Consecration, I offered this image of God, Barack, to God, the Holy Trinity and ask for God’s mercy to save his soul. I also offered the Mass for myself in order to obtain the grace to love Barack as my own son. I had much peace. I had finally done something to pay back to this U.S. for all I have received.
Later on at home, I realized that this adoption requires much more on my part. I will keep offering my crosses, hourly, with a big yes to them for that hour and add the salvation of Barack as one of the intentions. Let’s see what my crosses accepted with a big “yes” can do for this soul. In the case of the other two groups, those dying in that hour or women who are considering aborting their babies, I will never know the results of my offering. But in this public site, I tell you that you can watch and see what true love of an image of God could do. It is an experiment of “faith” or trust in God’s mercy, as I ask Him to truly make me a spiritual mother to this man. If any of you reading this would like to join me, please do because when two or three get together in prayer, He will be there!
Matthew 18: 19-20
Again, I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by My heavenly Father. For where two or three are gathered together in My Name, there am I in the midst of them.
Yet, there are rules given to me for this action to make of the President, a son or brother.
Rules for adoption:
1. There must be a daily personal stand at Mass and during prayer asking for the grace to love him for who he is, an image of God, with total “blessed spiritual blindness” for his actions. I finally understood that if Jesus does that to me, I must follow Him and do the same to this soul.
2. The work is hourly as possible and with the offering of crosses that are accepted not in word but in action.
3. At all cost, I must refrain from repudiating anything I hear or see in the news that emphasizes his actions contrary to God’s law..
4. One daily Rosary should be said just to stop Satan in his life.
5. Purity of intention: all of this should not be done because I want to win this battle against him, even as important as it is. This effort is to save one soul out of love for God and out of love for him. This is like leaving other sheep and going the extra mile for the one sheep that seems to be lost.
6. If at any time, I feel repudiation for his actions, I must repent and ask God for the grace to stop the nonsense. I must be blind to his sins, as Jesus has done with each one of us. Otherwise, any resentment will destroy my call to love.
Later this day I heard some stories of Barack’s inaugural speech and it did not bother me. I finally had entered the truth: God will win this war if I cooperate with Him and refuse to condemn my adopted son. He will protect him in these next four years. And ONLY LOVE can do it. More on it later.
But I was also led to organize my hourly offerings of my crosses with more lists as follows:
A. I put together a few more lists in tiny papers in an effort to be focused in what is true and start re-wiring my brain to do whatever He left me written in the Bible.
1. The list of my present crosses with the express desire to review them often and to say yes to them with great gusto.
2. A list of the most important blessings that I have received in order to thank God often and to remember that God can do all things.
3. A list of other possible crosses that I have not received like being confined to a wheel chair; or not having a parish nearby as it happens in other parts of the world; or having stayed in route to total dementia; or living with permanent depression by consuming carrageenan or aspartame; or not having met the Real Presence of Jesus since childhood, etc. Again, this list will raise within me a deep sense of gratitude, of awe, of fear of the Lord.
4. A list of the petitions for the extra Rosaries said daily
1) To bind Satan in my life, the life of my family, the life of President Obama, in the Catholic Church.
2) For the ongoing conversion of family members, including now Mr. Obama
3) For me to keep saying yes to God’s will without hesitation and to love my neighbors at all cost.
4) For the content of these blogs to be only what God wants.
5) For the expiation of the sins of all those mentioned above.
5. A reminder to practice the “blessed spiritual blindness” as God had asked me to do.
All these tiny pieces of paper are hidden in the leaflet with the image and story of the Queenship of Our Lady as published by the National Shrine of Mary Immaculate Queen at St. Pius X Catholic Church in Lombard, IL. I must reiterate that I keep looking at these papers as often as possible with the idea of one day getting to know them by heart through the re-wiring of my brain.
B. I chose these Bible verses to help me understand that what I am doing may look crazy but it is only the way I have live in order to do whatever He has told me.
1Cor 13: 1-2; 4a; 7-8
If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge, IF I HAVE ALL THE FAITH so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. Love is patient; love is kind. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
Matthew 5: 43-48.
You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” BUT I SAY TO YOU, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for He makes His sun rise on the bad and the good; and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have? Do not the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brothers only, what is unusual about that? Do not the pagans do the same? So be perfect just as our heavenly Father is perfect.
Matthew 7: 12. The Golden Rule
Do to others whatever you would have them do to you.
Matthew 7: 24-25.
Everyone who listens to these words of Mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his home on rock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock.
Matthew 10: 37-38. The Conditions of Discipleship.
Whoever loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me; and whoever does not take his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me.
Matthew 22: 37-39
He (Jesus) said to him (a Pharisee), “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: you shall love your neighbor as yourself.
Tuesday, January 22.
It was Roe vs. Wade anniversary. 40 years of it and of walks for life, and here we have little to show. Yes, there are fewer abortions and number of clinics doing them, but if we are Christians, these results are small for this length of time. We have a God Who is crazy about all of us, and yet, we allow those confused and blind to tempt us by talking and talking about the wrong they do BUT as rights and forms of freedom. Satan has divided us by promoting resentment among ourselves but we have allowed it. The question is, “Why?” Our walk for life should be hourly while awake and all year round. We should walk the way of the Cross while totally abandoned to God’s will. Yes, for years we have not taken the obedience to God’s will as a must for our survival as a race. Personally, I repent for not having pursued this personal walk for life: offering my crosses for the physical life of babies and the spiritual life of aborting mothers plus that of our government and religious leaders, and in my particular case, for President Obama.
It is the same that the practice of medicine. Right now, I am totally sure that I will gain very little from these doctors. They just diagnose you and try to keep symptoms in check. No cures…I was trained to do so myself. It is the same in our Christian life. We worry, we wonder what to do, but actually the cure is not practiced. We can study the Bible; we can pray together, we can invent all kinds of ministries, but it is only when (1) we abandon ourselves to Divine Providence (2) and kiss our crosses as wonderful instruments to keep our will under check in order to be abandoned to His Providence, (3) plus make an effort to stop looking at the sins of our brothers and sisters (4) as we beg God for His mercy for us to love them for who they are, His images, that we start curing the malady by going to the center of the spiritual cancer that afflict us.
I sound very preachy and it is true and purposely done. During this month, my Lord crossed a few T’s and added a few new concepts as to how to quit my stupid lack of understanding that He is in charge. He only wants me to love at all cost, and it only takes my will to want it. He does the rest within me to learn to love at all cost and does the same in the souls of my neighbor.
Friday, January 25.
I had followed the Masses pre and post vigil in Washington, D.C. As every year we see it, the youth is present in big numbers. (Hmm). I suddenly understood something that had never occurred to me. In the different homilies it was mentioned that the future generation, this youth, will take charge of changing the situation. Yet, I believe there is another meaning. It is like God saying to us, “Look at them, they are the womb holocaust survivors…!!! He is reminding us and showing to us what we have done. If we had truly being people of deep faith we would have acted as such, prayed as such and sought our own conversion to use “love” as the weapon to stop this massacre where these millions of humans were denied the most precious “right to be born.” In Spanish we say, “El derecho de nacer” which seems to be a better description of a right being denied to humans in the stage of maturity until they are able to come out of the womb and survive on their own. Why have we not ended this holocaust? There is no doubt that our ongoing conversion has been joke!
So, these walks for life are great witnesses of our repudiation of the ongoing holocaust, but it is only one side of the medal. In the other side, we find ourselves with anemic efforts to conquer the enemy with love. Jesus was clear in explaining what we have to do. If we have prayed and walked for 40 years and things are worse when the mostly Catholic Latino group gave this President the mandate to kill more babies directly with suction and curettage of the womb or by forcing employers to pay for contraception pills that are abortifacients, well, there is something very wrong going on!!!! Aren’t we ashamed of ourselves? I am… and deeply sorry… Trust me, in my case is even much worse… He has given me so much… and yet, I did not sacrifice enough for my babies in the womb and for the those killing them.
Satan knew about Vatican II and entered the Church with confusion and division and lies regarding the writings of this Council, and we did nothing. Huge numbers of ministries came to be, and yeah, “Marthaism” was everywhere. Did we pay attention to that distraction? Many well meaning faithful Catholics started movements but
abandonment to God’s providence as a form of trusting God and love of our enemies as a MUST DO, were left way behind.
abandonment to God’s providence as a form of trusting God and love of our enemies as a MUST DO, were left way behind.
And yes, on this feast of the conversion of St. Paul, notice how when he encountered Christ, he entered into a deep relationship with Him and with His power, he went to “catch men” for Him to the point of death.
As I was doing my Holy Hour before the noon Mass, Jesus said to me, “Do you know when you started a personal relationship with Me? I was a little confused and asked for further understanding. He said, “You entered this personal relationship at the Baptismal font.” And then He added, “However, as you grow into the age of reason and adult life, the efficacy (the fruits of this relationship) may diminish. This personal relationship that began at your Baptism will remain so until you die, but the graces from it diminish with lack of faith or lack of abandoning yourself to My providence, so that the gift of Faith can increase and facilitate your “yes” to My will. And how to turn back this trend to the time when your pure baby soul received it? You have written the answers in the Bible quotes already written in your blog. Love is the answer.
You cooperate by loving Me as you know you should and your neighbor. So, when you are watching Good Morning America and the hosts laugh and laugh to no end for no reason, and you get upset about this obvious “performance” to attract viewers, you immediately should look at each of them and say to yourself: ‘This is an image of God.’ When you hear panels discussing the pros and cons of the future in politics with personal agendas according to the TV station, liberal or conservative, you only should see them as ‘images of Mine’ and stop any derogatory feeling in your heart for them. Then, the more love I find in your heart for your brothers and sisters, even if true love is not present but you refuse to pass judgment and instead, admire them as My images, that much you will be closer to Me. The more you encounter Me as Paul of Tarsus did, that much you can be a true evangelizer and ‘catch men’ since it will not be you but I doing it through you. The conversion is to love at all times. There is not substitute. Again, you love Me the best with total abandonment to My will for you, most especially saying yes to your crosses. You love your neighbor the best when you provide what your neighbor needs, physically, emotionally and loving them with total blindness for their sins. The latter always requires remembering that they were made in My image. This stand will make your prayer life a true source of graces for others (End of teaching)
I had entered the parish at 11:05 AM and actually was soo fascinated with what had just happened. I had gone to a health food store for some vitamins and vita-nutrients, which are all very expensive. In this particular one, I get 10% off if in my prior visit I bought more than $50. On this day, I also brought a DVD that I made from a PBS program, the one I mentioned in the recent past where eating certain vegetables can cure you of the most important cancers: prostate, breast and colon cancer. It also can help the immune system, which is the organ that takes care of cancer cells. I had promised this DVD to one of the employees. As I was checking out, I gave the cashier my old receipt in order to get 10% discount. She gave it back to me and proceeded to use a coupon that a client had just given her saying, “Keep it and use it for someone else.” I was that someone else. She was willing to serve me with a total discount of $40… Yet, notice the sequence of events: I had chosen a particular day at a particular hour (just before my Church time with Holy Hour and Mass) with a particular cashier who had an open serving heart. Did I choose the time? Nah… I always check with the Holy Spirit about my routings. I am always expecting clients or people that God wants me to meet to witness His love and I DO NOT WANT TO MISS THOSE ENCOUNTERS that could lead someone to find Him… Well, today, He directed me to a specific “present moment” when I took a DVD for one employee and precisely for me to save $40… With a heart full of thanksgiving and awe, I started my Holy Hour and He decided to expand the teaching about love, exactly what I had just lived… Amazing grace… how sweet the sound! This God does not cease to amaze me… He is soo alive…
A beautiful reminder from the classic spiritual book “Abandonment to Divine Providence” by Jean-Pierre de Caussade, S.J. I thought I was done with most of this blog written by January 23 when this book appeared under some papers next to my computer. Somehow I decided to check it up, as underlined as it is, coming apart since 1983 when I started savoring it, and I know the year because I left many dated notes. And I found extraordinary words for our present times in the U.S. and us in the midst of what looks so dark. So I want to close this blog with the following quotes:
Chapter II – section (4)
Why does God allow Turks and heretics to flourish? They proclaim His infinite perfection. That is the sole purpose of Pharaoh and all the impious men who have followed his example. It is no use looking at these historical facts and figures in the ordinary way. We must shut our eyes and cease to reason if we wish to see the divine mysteries in these affairs. (Hmm)
You speak Lord, to all men in general by the great events of history. All revolutions are only the waves of Your providence raising storms and tempests in the minds of those who question Your mysterious actions. You speak to every individual through what happens to them moment by moment. Instead of hearing the voice of God in all these things and revering the mysterious obscurity of His word, however, men see in them only material happenings, the effects of chance, our purely human activities. They find fault with everything, want to change this continual expression of God’s word and give themselves absolute freedom to commit every kind of excess, the very least of which they would consider a monstrous outrage if it involved a single comma in Holy Scripture. “That is the Word of God,” they say, and all that is there is holy and true.” The less they understand it, the more they venerate it and adore the depths of God’s wisdom. Very right and proper, too. But when God speaks to us at every moment, not with words of ink on paper but by what we suffer and do from moment to moment, should we not give equal attention to Him? Why do we not venerate His truth and goodness in all of this? But we are pleased by nothing and critical of everything. We read, with the eyes of faith, the Word of God in the Scriptures, and we are very wrong to read it with other eyes when it comes to us in His activities.
Chapter II. Section (5)
We are now living in a time of faith. The Holy Spirit writes no more gospels except in our hearts. All we do from moment to moment is live this new gospel of the Holy Spirit. We, if we are holy, are the paper; our sufferings and our actions are the ink. The workings of the Holy Spirit are His pen, and with it He writes a living gospel; but it will never be read until that last day of glory when it leaves the printing press of this life.
And what a splendid book it will be – the book the Holy Spirit is still writing. The book is on press and never a day passes when type is not set, ink applied and pages pulled. But we remain in the light of faith. The paper is blacker than the ink and the type is pied; the language is not of this world and we understand nothing. We shall be able to read it only in heaven. We could understand something of the complexities of God’s activity if we could see our fellow humans not just as they appear superficially but in their very essence and see, too, how God is working on and within them. Just think what an infinite number of different and worthwhile books are produced by the mixing of 26 letters. We cannot understand this wonder, so how can we comprehend what God is doing in the universe? How can we read and understand this vast a book, one in which every single letter has its own special meaning and, within its tiny shape, contains the most profound mysteries? We can neither see nor feel these mysteries. Only by faith can they be known.
So, teach me Holy Spirit to read in this book of life! I long to become your disciple and, like a little child, to believe in what I cannot see. It is enough for me that my master speaks. He talks and explains, arranges the letters of the book and makes it comprehensible. That is all I need. I am convinced that everything is just as He says, although I cannot see why. But I know He is truth itself and He says nothing but the truth. He puts letters together to make a word, assembles more to form another. There are perhaps only three or six. But they are exactly right. Any different number would make nonsense. After all, He alone knows the thoughts of men, and so He alone can put them into words. Everything is significant and everything makes perfect sense. A line ends because He wants it to. There is not a single comma missing, or one full stop too many. Although I believe now, when the day of glory dawns the secrets of so many mysteries will be shown to me that shall realize how imperfect my knowledge was during my earthly life. What now seems to me so confused, so incoherent, so foolish and so fanciful will then delight and entrance me by its order, is beauty, it wisdom and the incomprehensible wonders I shall explore for all eternity.
Chapter II. Section (6)
…What we really want to do is restrict His work so that it conforms to the rules and boundaries that our limited reason considers suitable. We try to improve but do nothing but complain and grumble. Yet we are surprised at the way the Jews treated Jesus Christ! … How can the will of God be unreasonable? How can it ever be wrong? Yet we say, “There’s this bit of business of mine. I need this. What I want has been taken from me. My neighbor is hindering the good works I want to do. Now, isn’t this quite unreasonable? And, on top of it all, I fall ill just when I should be fit.” Now let me tell you that the will of God is all that is necessary, and what it does not give you is of no use to you at all. My friends, you lack nothing.
Chapter II. Section (7)
The love of God comes to us through all creatures but hidden as it is in the Blessed Sacrament. For both reason and faith tells us that God’s love is present in every creature and in every event, just as Jesus Christ and the Church inform us that the sacred Body and Blood of God are truly present in the Eucharist. His love wishes to unite itself with us through all that the world contains, all that He had created, ordained and allowed. That is His supreme purpose, and to accomplish it He uses both the best and the worst of His creatures, the most unpleasant and the most delightful happenings. The more naturally repugnant to us the chosen means, the more meritorious is our acceptance of them. So, every moment of our lives can be a kind communion with His love, a communion which can produce in our soul’s fruits similar to those we receive with the Body and Blood of the Son of God. The latter has, it is true, a sacramental power which the former cannot have; but yet how much oftener can we experience the former and its merit will continually increase as our dispositions develop toward perfection. He chooses what our natural feelings despise and what our human prudence rejects. From these castoffs He creates miracles of love and gives Himself to us as often as we believe we have found Him there.