Archive for November, 2012

Two of our Spiritual Disabilities:

November 30, 2012

1. Loving our neighbor but conditional to our own comfort.

2. Discouragement.

For this blog, I will not report day by day the important moments in my learning of spiritual riches since it would become too long for the sake of my “bad” left eye! Yet, I will mention dates here and there to show you the timing of events as the themes developed.

I. How eager are we to suffer in order to convert our brothers and sisters?

I am going to request a favor from you, my reader… Pleease do not laugh at this long story and remember, God is funny and loves to do things out of the ordinary in order to underline how much He cares for us and our lack of trust in His mercy as well. REMEMBER: DO NOT LAUGH… or think that I lost my mind… I have lived similar situations with Him and He has a tremendous sense of humor. O.K., this is the story:

On September 26, my daughter-in-law married to my third son, the theologian, sent the invitation for all of us in Alabama, Los Angeles and San Francisco area to celebrate Thanksgiving with them. I already mentioned in my last blog of an upcoming family reunion but did not mention the time because of the possibility of enticing the evil one to let a thief know of our absence and break into this home. I immediately said I could not attend this beautiful family affair. Since Aug 6, the attack of my immune system on my knees (I thank God daily for not letting my hips be involved at all), traveling to Omaha was a no, no.

On October 1, the feast of my great childhood friend, St. Therese of Lissieux, and while I was doing my Holy Hour, the Lord said, “You are going to be prompted to travel to Omaha. Do it!”

On October 3, I had written this for that month’s blog: “After saying the Holy Rosary and around 10 AM, my Mother came to give me assurances of how I must go and work for the Kingdom out of love for my brothers and sisters. I have known this for years but deep in my heart I doubted that I could do such thing. Out of the blue… she offered to mediate a sign and told me what the sign would be…She also said, “The sign will lead you to let go and let God.” I accepted but only if the sign were to be spectacular… She insisted that once received, I had to accept my future job as a done deal and never doubt it or hope not to be. I did promise.”  

Well, now it is the time to reveal the sign that had to be awesome… She offered to mediate with her Son a win for the Governor in the presidential first debate for that night. I said, “Hmm… Nah…In order for this to be a true sign, it would have to be a huge sign with a spectacular resounding win for the Governor versus the President.” She agreed! And sure enough, it was a win that no one still can understand why it happened… The media said that the debate between the Governor and the President was the most brutal result in the U.S in the last 80 years!

But please, know that I am revealing this to you of what God can do to win our assurance that we have to work for the Kingdom in times that are so difficult and unpredictable, and yet, He did not interfere with the peoples’ will to elect whom they wanted. FROM THAT MOMENT ON and to the present, I know that I have to work for Him till the day I die in whatever ways He wants me to do it. Well, it is interesting that this humorous God could also arrange other knowledge regarding the length of time involved. On November 19, as I entered a supermarket and with great pain in my knees, what appeared to be a homeless man was sitting on the pavement next to the door of the supermarket and asking for money. I was in so much pain that opted to ignore him and proceed to get a cart and use it as if it were a cane to help my knees a little. But he called me and said, “Please, I want to have a sandwich for lunch.” I said, “Are you sure that it is for buying food?” He said, “I stopped drinking alcohol 10 months ago and I do not smoke… Pleease.” I walked towards him and gave him $20. He said, “God bless…You are good.  And you have a long life still ahead of you.”

My heart and mind were convicted… Was this a message from our Crucified? Was this a message to be pasted next to my ordinance and sign (debate of October 3) that I must work for the Kingdom and very actively? Of course, I have little interest in living on this earth for much longer and God knows it and apparently He wanted to warn me!!! And if you think this is a minor matter, it is not. It simply shows my lack of zeal to work on this earth for the sake of other souls. I needed to be warned so that I proceed to live with great desire to help out. Or said in other words, I have to clean my mind from the easy way out and have purity of intention to go forth and work for the conversion of other souls. I must confess to you that even when I write these blogs, it is so hard to constantly tune up the will of God and write just what He wants, that in the center of my heart I simply wished not to write them anymore. What am I lacking? A true love of neighbor… What about if what I share may find a soul in a moment of distress and help it? But much more I learned on this subject of my lack of zeal for souls and that you will know in a few minutes as you keep reading

Well, the story of signs passed on to you back in the October blog had just started. My Mama is also something else… There are days that I tell her not only how much I love her but how powerful she is as in the times of Cana… She is truly something else! Nowadays, I cannot pray a Rosary with fears of any kind, and even up to yesterday morning when she said, “Do no pray with begging eyes. No. Put up a happy face because whatever the cross is, it is a collaborative work with God and with me to save souls. And remember, the will of God is now. It has no future! Nothing should be imagined about tomorrow, when so much evil today can place obstacles and re-arrange how the will of God will be obeyed in your lives! So, when you pray, do it without fear or anxiety, because God and I are next to you to defend you and your brothers and sisters.” — It is in these times that I know that the will of God in our lives is such a treasure, that we should learn to see it that way! The will of God in our lives should not be seen as a duty, but as a gift to participate in the salvation of souls. We are co-responsible with God to use our gifts in His time, in His ways, according to His agenda, for the good of others. All these points and reprimands are like little diamonds of wisdom connecting His will for me to the salvation of souls.

On October 17, the son with whom I live and when he came from work said, “I am going to drive to Omaha. Would you then consider going?” Of course, he knew that with the extreme pain of both knees with any food ingested, and much worse with any food artificially colored, plus some symptoms of imbalance of the autonomic nervous system with sporadic early morning diarrheas and nausea, well, walking in the long corridors of airports were not a good thing for me. I immediately said, “I will have to check it up with God and see what He says, although He already announced that I would be prompted to go.” I asked Him to give me a couple of days to figure it out.

On October 18, at 8:30 AM while saying the Rosary with EWTN, I asked my Mother to help me with a sign to really know if I should go to Omaha for Thanksgiving. Of course, I knew God would choose the sign, but her intercession was very important.  Later she came to tell me that she would mediate a sign if I agreed to, 1) To be willing to travel everywhere to tell the world about the need to reform our souls for these times, and this meant, to agree to talk to anyone in the media who requested it… (Ouch and ouch and ouch) 2) If I agreed to never forget the sign of October 3 (Debate results…) 3) If I agreed to go to Mass and agree before her Son to these matters.

This day happened to be the feast of St. Luke, a physician…. who had left everything and traveled with St. Paul and who wrote a Gospel and the Acts of the Apostles. Hmm!  His writing was also unique because he narrated things that the other Gospels did not And by the way, I was not feeling well at all… and yet, I was waiting for a major sign to go to Omaha. AND HERE, I warn you… do not laugh or be disturbed… The San Francisco Giants baseball team was ready to be eliminated by the St. Louis Cardinals… with one more loss. However, by October 21 the Giants were in route to the World Series… I started wondering if this famous sign would be related to this impossible winning of the 3 games. I was still dubious and mostly for the kind of sign… Baseball?

On Saturday, October 27 I offered the 4:30 PM Mass for myself to be able “to see” regarding the decision of traveling to Omaha for a total of 46 hours round trip plus time consumed for meals and use of bathrooms, while in the state of health I was in. And yes, I was able to see after receiving Him in Communion… It had nothing to do with the actual decision but with my poverty in the way I approached the whole thing. This trip was a great opportunity to suffer and offer it up for the present times in all places, but most especially in our U.S., and where the main issues are morally grave… for all our souls. I felt in a way brainwashed and not truly becoming a fighter for all of us. We are at the edge of a cliff (and forget about the financial cliff)… where immorality grows by the week. The trend has been there for decades, and in general, I feel like a bystander and not a warrior. I have to pray and suffer and offer and accept all kinds of conversions in order to constantly knock at the Throne of God’s Mercy and I am sure, He will answer. Yet, my love for my brothers and sisters is there but not great… With love, all things are possible. We need to re-wire our brains to follow the Master’s way of how to save many. I was seeing… and clearly… à I loved neighbor but conditional to my own comfort… Ouch and ouch and ouch. The question followed, “How eager am I to suffer to save my neighbor?” I was clearly trying to flee the cross of traveling to Omaha and I needed a huge conversion in this matter.

I wrote this in my journal:

“I have been for a long time trying to flee any crosses in the way. There are five issues about crosses:

1. Those that God allows or sends to us and we accept with great passion and desire. (Not my case!)

2. Those that God allows and sends and we accept but with great reticence.

3. Those  that God allows and from which  we escape with great skill because we refuse to suffer.

4. Those that God does not send but that we can run to embrace for the sake of offering them for the conversion of others, and yet, we choose to not to accept.

5. Those that God does not send but we face and choose to suffer for the sake of the Kingdom.

The truth is that for me to become an evangelizer with great power, I must follow Him… And what did He do? He came to this world to seek His Cross for our good… Yes, it was the Father’s will, but Jesus always worked very hard to do it… and called Peter, “Satan” because he tried to dissuade Him to embrace the Cross at Calvary. I now know that I loved my neighbor secondary to my comfort, and therefore, my discipleship is a joke. I was not following Jesus… I further understood that from now on I must love my neighbor as primary task, and suffering for them is key for the Holy Spirit to change them! And the main reason behind it is because such crosses so accepted, embraced and even sought after, make me another Christ, when I offer them for my brothers and sisters.” Just imagine what prayer can do when we ask to “see”…

On Sunday, October 28, I was sickly and happy that I had attended Mass the day before. In the afternoon, I wrote this, “Forgive me Lord. I have received so much: understanding of Your Eucharistic Presence, a very Marian grandmother, a mother that pushed me to be the best student in everything, the intelligence to do so, the conversion of my husband before death, extraordinary sons, and total detachment from prestige, power, position and money. I was given a universal new language, English, at no cost, as well as a great profession, but all along, I failed to understand how to love my neighbor. I fell into the one liner of wanting and praying for the salvation of souls, and yet never truly meant it because I never sought to grab opportunities to suffer for them. Or if it were a sent-cross and I had to live it, I did it with reservation and wishing to terminate it. I am soo sorry, my Lord… Please help me to become the best lover of my neighbor using my crosses, sent or sought for, to place them at Your Throne of Mercy for their salvation.” (I signed this prayer/promise)

On this same day, the San Francisco Giants had won the World Series to a team that was the best and expected to win it. I know the brother of the Detroit Tigers team coach, Mr. Jim Leyland. Father Leyland was the pastor of St Rose of Lima Parish that I attended in the year 2000, shortly after I had quit my good job in a Toledo Hospital (February) because of the abortion on demand issue… I could not find a job right away or most likely, God intervened for me not to find one, and this to be free for the Thanksgiving feast of 2000 when my husband became ill and we had to take him on “black Friday” to the hospital to be diagnosed with terminal cancer and 6 months more of life. It was a Holy Year and I had spent many hours after daily Mass in front of the Tabernacle at St. Rose of Lima parish, very near my home, more so than my own parish.

It is now that reviewing this subject, I wonder if my many hours with Him and praying many rosaries, were key for my husband’s acceptance of death as if nothing was happening while accepting to go to confession and receiving Communion, all this after calling himself an atheist for the years past… This was may be the reason why no job was found… I had to prepare his departure and did it without knowing about it… Fr. Leyland was a great priest and part of those months (March to November 2000) when I prayed long daily hours in his parish! However, I must add that it is until right now that I can see the mercy of God working full time for this soul who died… I never had connected the dots… What a God we have… I had been abandoned to His Divine Providence but actually because I could not do anything else to get a job. He, in the mean time, was acting behind doors and giving me the time off to pray for this soul even that I had no idea that cancer was growing already…

And to finish the miracle, I found a job precisely from the mouth of a nurse anesthetist who led me to it, while I was in my prior hospital that I had left in February and as my husband was being operated on to diagnose his illness. I had a job by February 2001, as director of this surgery center, a good job, good money and not needing to move this sick man to another area.

NOW, it is the end of the year… A new one is coming, and my question is, how can we change the minds of many in 2013, to understand words like that of St. Teresa of Avila that I learned as a young child by heart in Spanish?

“Que nada te turbe, que nada de espante, quien a Dios tiene nada le falta, solo Dios basta.”

“Let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you, whomever has God lacks nothing, only God suffices. “

Why is it that we could not leave God alone to work in our lives weaving perfect lives that love Him and others with the same tenderness of His love and mercy for us, Rahamin, or the love of a mother for her baby? Why? He is just too much!!!

Well, let me continue about this sign to go to Omaha. In a way, I was pro Detroit Tigers, from the city that God chose for me when I came as a new doctor. Of course, I was also very pro San Francisco Giants, although expecting the latter to lose fast, BUT they did not, just like the first debate… Nobody around here still understands what and how it happened, and this is what makes of this a true sign… One player broke all records hitting 3 homeruns and one hit in the first game. The defense of the Giants was a show of extraordinary athleticism… On the other side, the excellence of the Tigers team faded daily. So, just as the Red Sea parted, the Jordan River parted and signs and wonders have been used forever to guide some of us to our duties, this 2012 World Series was full of signs. In fact, some of the players spoke of the spirituality of the team members!!!!!!! A first in my ears! I am convinced that if we taught people how to establish a relationship of love with the Crucified, they would grow in faith and convert many as well… God even used baseball to prove His point!!!

However, signs are great and guide us, but the process of checking up and asking Mother to help out, produced in me the discovery of my very poor love of neighbor. A friend from Costa Rica said to me on the phone that she knew I had to go to Omaha to spend Thanksgiving with my kids and grand kids. She felt it was important for them… They needed me… or so she thought…  I had to tell her that this argument was nonsense. Knowing my kids and knowing how good they are to me, and they knowing me, someone that does not care if I stay “home alone” in a day like this, precisely because of my detachment from the world, this was not the reason to go to Omaha… This trip was actually a wonderful occasion and call to suffer and willingly for them, my kids and grand kids, for some of my closest friends, and for the entire Catholic Church. Yet, all done with “gusto” and desire as He did it for us…I was finally truly following Him…

The days prior to our trip, my health was worse than ever… It was like God allowing it in order to test my resolution to suffer as He did… BUT, we went and came back… and I suffered with pain in my knees with meals, yet I had no nausea or diarrheas in the mornings.… Many were praying and God was listening and big time… The weather was spectacular… No snow to be found… while traveling on late November through mountains and around huge peaks full of snow. Temperatures were in the 50’s and 60’s, and no rain was found. Coming back we had strong winds in Nebraska and Wyoming, and I drove a couple of hours in these conditions, and the gusts were of 55 miles per hour, as indicated by special signs on the road. Yet, that was it! And here are a few highlights of what suffering can do when truly accepted for the good of others.

1. We left on Tuesday, November 20, early morning and slept in a hotel in route and arrived in Omaha at 8 PM on Wednesday, to a new hotel and only about 4 blocks from my son Omar’s home… It was the best hotel I ever have been to, not in luxury but in efficiency for the size of the room… It had a full kitchen, large refrigerator, dish washer, microwave oven, toasters, pans and pots, etc. I even had EWTN in their cable system, not common in many hotels… I could have prepared my meals due to my allergies, had I wanted to.

2. We met my third son, Omar and wife and three kids at 9 AM Mass on Thanksgiving day at the Cathedral of St. Cecilia. As it turned out, it was the feast of this saint. The date was special since it was the birthday of my father who died in 1992. My oldest son Virgil had already arrived from Los Angeles. My son Orlando and wife Alecia from Alabama had arrived the day before and were staying in the same hotel.

3. Things started to unravel. Short summary: we found a family with three children, Omar’s kids, holy, beautiful and acting as adults and my Lord used these three as instruments and witnesses of what a Christian couple can give to others. They hugged their uncles and aunt Alecia constantly and invited these men and woman to play with them. Their behavior was out of this world. Everything was: “Thank you, you are welcome, I love you, hug me…”  etc. The four brothers (my sons) have always loved each other, but this time, they were even more loving towards each other. They helped with the cooking and washed dishes and entertained the kids, ages 7, 4 and 20 months. THE KINGDOM OF GOD WAS PRESENT… I took for them their photo albums since their birth because I have to get rid of some stuff from my storage place… In them,  they found tons of reminders of their infancy, lived in mansions and with very expensive clothes, and apparently they had a very happy childhood… I was working full time and using live-in maids. I found papers of how Virgil and Ernie had studied Russian with the Berlitz program, before they visited the Soviet Union with their peers at St. Ignatius High School in Cleveland, even before the iron curtain came down. I never had to push them to study or behave well. They were perfect… SUDDENLY, I started realizing that God had brought me to Omaha to also remind me what He has done for me. Ouch! It was time to open my eyes even bigger and start paying more attention to the work that needs to be done for others!

4. Out of the blue, we also recognized a prophetess in our midst. The four year old Gemma grabbed a small notebook I had bought to take with me since when the Lord speaks, He can do it any place and at any time and I have to take notes… Or later on, I could make up what He said but actually change words or ideas.  Gemma asked permission to draw a picture in one of the pages of this small notebook. I gave her permission. I never paid attention anymore and on Friday, I asked the child if I was part of the picture and she, in perfect logical words, said, “No, you are not and I am not. It is Aunt Alecia and she is presenting to Uncle Orlando the baby girl she has in her hands who is also blonde.” Sure enough, there was a woman, blonde and with a tiny baby in her arms, and she was smiling. There were two clouds (dark crayon) on top of the woman and at each side and the sun on top of her head. I asked, “What are these?” “These are clouds but the sun is in the middle! “ I inquired, and why did you paint this?” “This drawing is not true right now but it is true for this picture.” This child had produced what appeared to be a prophecy. We shall see. Yet, the ideas were unique and she explained them with a wisdom and clarity that was amazing!

5. I asked Carlos Diego, (7) what he would like to be when he grows up… In the recent past, I was told that he wanted to become a priest… Personally, I prayed that none of my sons would become priests because of their responsibility in these times of the Church. And I always prayed, “If You want one of them to be a priest, I ask You to be done but only if he becomes a holy priest.” And I always remember how I was led to bring each baby, and for his first time going out after coming from the hospital, to be presented to Him, in front of the Tabernacle, at which time I gave them back to Him. I guess this was an act of faith that is still paying dividends!  This time, I asked he again about his plans for when he would grow up and in front of everyone, and Carlos answered in the most natural spontaneous way, “I only want to become what the will of God is for me…” Needless to say, I have nothing to add to the faith of this child.

6. In general, I had never seen so much love together. THIS WAS A BIG SIGN FOR ME… God was speaking to me and basically saying, “Do you see what I can do? You never spent time at home because of your busy practice as My will for you, and yet, these men are loving and good. If I have done this to you, I could do the same for the entire Church, but I need you to recognize how much work is to be done and cooperate with Me. How it gets done is up to Me. To believe that it can be done and be ready to help out, it is up to you!” And from there on, even while driving back, I knew that this Thanksgiving celebration will be an eternal memorial of how strict I must be to allow God to convert me to do whatever He tells me but just to serve Him for His great love for me and mine, and to do it to love my brothers and sisters in whatever ways He wants me to do it, even when I must run to pick up extra crosses.

7. The trip back was planned by my son Ernie in order to see the Notre Dame football game (Saturday night), since he graduated from this university and played in the band. And yes, with a perfect weather and after passing enormous distances without any housing or human to be seen, we found a city at the right time and were able to watch the game in our hotel rooms! We resumed our journey on Sunday and arrived at 3 PM, with plenty of time to attend our parish Sunday evening Mass, on the feast of Christ the King…This Mass was very important because I had to thank God for this miracle of “Love” I saw among my closest family members, and how these children acted… Even the 20 month old was the most tranquil, quiet, good and loving baby…

8. My next cross is coming but  now I am seeing it with delight, a feeling  that is brand new for me…  I have made an appointment with a lady doctor, the only one who is receiving new patients… I will be visiting her on Dec. 6 at 11:30 AM… My case is very complicated. I will summarize in writing my history and will give her all the laboratory studies I have done of myself in the recent past. I have not had a personal physician in three decades… I do not trust doctors… and many other M.D.’s feel the same. Of course, it is not their fault, but the system of how we practice this allopathic medicine, and that in years past has promoted three major errors in my personal care. Please keep me in your prayers, that I accept whatever from this lady, good or bad, as my total surrendering to His love for me. Thank you.

II. Discouragement

This topic came to me exactly in the early hours of Friday, November 23 while in this very comfortable hotel in Omaha. I woke up at 3:44 AM and suddenly I was willing to drop everything that has to do with the Kingdom, except and perhaps for writing a few blogs. Immediately, I also understood that this is pride and that Satan was very busy tempting others to discourage me (later I will mention some cause for my discouragement). I was led to my little Bible in my purse since this hotel did not have the Gideon’s Bible. In Matthew 16:1, “The Pharisees and Sadducees came and to test Him, asked Him to show them a sign from heaven.” Jesus proceeded to tell them how they can recognize the weather by the way the sky looks and said to them in verse 3, “You know how to judge the appearance of the sky, but you cannot judge the signs of the times.” Clearly Jesus is indicating to them that they could not read the indications of the coming kingdom in the signs that Jesus did offer with His mighty deeds and teaching.

In verses 5-12 I also found something very interesting. The disciples had forgotten to bring bread. Jesus said to them, “Look out, and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” The disciples thought that He was referring to the lack of bread… And of course, Jesus tells them a big truth: “You of little faith, why do you conclude among yourselves that it is because you have no bread? Do you not yet understand, and do you not remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many wicker baskets you too up? …….” Then they realized that Jesus was talking not about the lack of bread itself but to beware of the teaching of the Sadducees and Pharisees.

I love these two passages…especially at 4 AM in the morning… In the first instance, how many of us ignore day after day the signs and wonders He left us about His love for us and the many miracles He performed? But worse, we ignore the signs He sends us every day… Do we spend enough time learning His sign language for us, personally?

In the second passage, He gets angry towards His disciples who forget to remember the signs of multiplying the bread and fish for thousands with left over’s.  Shouldn’t we be making plans as to how to remember all His miracles for us? And here I was paying more attention as to how to escape my duty as a Baptized person to work for Him and under Him for the good of others… I wrote in my little notebook: “Yes, abandonment to Divine Providence knowing that He can do all things is the answer to the leaven of the modern Pharisees and Sadducees. But this abandonment should be known, understood, practiced and cherished.” It was a wonderful time in this early hour of the morning!

After the trip and putting together ideas for this blog, I understood that discouragement is one of our greatest spiritual disabilities. It means that I doubt God’s love and mercy for me, and doing so, I fail to be obedient to the first most important Commandment. Discouragement is produced by my brain, but it opens a window to Satan and to world’s influences that can make it worse. I made a list of things that discourage me.

1. A world that behaves in a way totally opposite to my faith and morals. There are moments when I wonder if I belong to the human race!

2. A medical system that is corrupted. 90% of treatment is based on medications that do not cure anything, except for antibiotics and some surgeries (for example, an appendectomy or new coronaries). They do not prevent any illness, except for vaccines. It works on the concept that patients are already suffering symptoms of X disease and drugs will help with the symptoms. These drugs are full of severe after effects and they still continue in the market. My live-in maid who took care of my oldest two sons for five years, called me from Costa Rica some 3 months ago. I inquired about her health and she told me of the many medicines she takes. Nine in total! I called her on another occasion to get all the names and particulars for each, in order to help her understand the pros and cons of each one. As it turned out, she is taking two medications to prevent osteoporosis… And of course, osteoporosis is responsible for fractures, especially in the elder. Yet, Alendronate (Fosamax) has many side effects, like

new or worsening heartburn

difficulty swallowing

pain on swallowing

chest pain

bloody vomit or vomit that looks like coffee grounds

black, tarry, or bloody stools

fever

blisters or peeling skin

rash (may be made worse by sunlight)

itching

hives

swelling of eyes, face, lips, tongue, or throat

difficulty breathing

hoarseness

 painful or swollen gums

 loosening of the teeth

numbness or heavy feeling in the jaw

poor healing of the jaw

eye pain

dull, aching pain in the hips, groin, or thighs

AND it increases the risk of fracture of the bones of the thighs (femur) without falling or receiving any trauma…!!! I once told this to a friend in my previous parish and she became infuriated with me, since the doctor would have told her so!!!! She thought I was telling her a lie!  As you can see, the medical profession is imprisoned by what Pharmaceutical Companies give them to treat patients with. I have been discouraged and ashamed for years by these facts…

I also get discouraged by the immense number of groups raising money for the cure of cancer… Yet, the American Cancer Society was founded in 1915 after the American Medical Association in 1906. And we keep getting money to cure cancer and cancer can be cured… with naturopathic means. In these blogs, I have touched this topic before when I described the cure of a PhD in Education from North Carolina who was found to have terminal cancer of the liver at the Cleveland Clinic, where his brother was a physician. I met him 10 years later alive and healthy! Yet, these methods and ways of nutrition do not get promulgated because they do not produce any money as drugs do.

3. Spiritually, I get discouraged because we are mostly talkers and not doers of the Word! We as a Catholic Church, have many great Saints that radically changed their lives and that of many others and up to this moment, they are still well known to us. Why is it that we do not develop ways in this XXI Century to make us “stars of change, inner change?” It discourages me to think of the many retreats I attended in the last 30 years, and yet, it has been my time spent with the Eucharistic Jesus that has truly helped me to “see” and “hear” and “act.”

It discourages me and greatly, to see a few “good” people, coming to daily Mass, and notice that the adjective of “good” is true, because many come in their lunch hour or very early in the morning, and yet, they know little about His Presence in the Tabernacle. And how do I know? Am I judging them? No… I am watching them come in, sanctify themselves with holy water and genuflect in different directions, and at times they even do it in the direction of the pews. As a doctor, I know their brains are wired to perform acts taught to all of us as children but ignore why they do it. If Mr. Barack Obama or Bill Clinton were LIVE and standing in the same site of the Tabernacle, would we do that to them? Would we ignore them? It is clear that we are not being trained to develop a relationship with Jesus in the Eucharist. This topic discourages me and big time. As a Church, we do not have a method to lead us to grow in this relationship.

And retreats will not do it! Trust me… on that one because they only address half of the puzzle. This work is twofold. First, we must bring our brothers and sisters into our churches. Examples: our parish has a vibrant youth ministry, but so did our John Paul II for the entire Church with his many different World Youth Day meetings in different countries and now also done by our present Pope. And yes, they come and they look motivated, fervent, prayerful and adorable in many aspects. Yet, after years of world youth meetings, our Church continues to lose members for Sunday Mass. It seems logical and obvious to conclude that the attendants to the first meetings have lost their first love for Jesus and became part of the culture, one of keeping God at bay. So, we must develop a plan to offer these young people ways to REMAIN as fervent and motivated as day one as they enter their adult years, and this can only be done by the Holy Ghost, if we show them how to grow in a personal relationship with the Eucharistic Jesus.

Another example: I lived the coming of the Holy Ghost to our Church as a new Pentecost in 1967. I joined in 1977. I saw 15,000 strong charismatic members get together yearly at the University of Notre Dame for a weekend of signs and wonders… Where are they now? Yes, this ecclesial movement is alive but not with the force and excitement of those days. I have a diagnosis for what happened: we forgot to keep a tight prayer life and growth in love of God (by faithfully doing His will) and love of neighbor to the extremes shown above, in order to GROW IN THIS RELATIONSHIP of love with Him… Relationships must grow… Many people in those days claimed that they knew Jesus, and they did, but this is a process of getting to know Him. We think we know Him ignoring that we are limiting ourselves in the growth of this relationship. Knowing Him is up to Him and the Father’s decision. So, we must understand that we will never finish knowing Him on this earth!  All relationships must grow in order to become unique experiences of love. And when love for Him shines and our love for neighbor gets healthier and healthier, the Holy Spirit can win the souls of many in no time. This is the core of evangelization…

I now want to share with you what I learned regarding how Jesus turned discouraged disciples into vibrant evangelizers… Notice how Jesus appeared to many people in the days after His Resurrection and before His Ascension. Obviously, He had left all of them in a state of discouragement. He had explained to them what would happen after His death, but remember, they were blind to even experiences lived with Jesus like the multiplication of the loaves and fish. So, it is obvious that He showed Himself to all of them, even coming a second time to convince St. Thomas about His being alive, and no doubt to me that He wanted to ease their discouragement. He even cooked breakfast for them and John 21:14 establishes that Jesus revealed Himself three times to His disciples.

Well, among others visited, were the two disciples in route to Emmaus:

Luke 24: 13-35

Scene No. 1 –

“Now that very day (the day that Peter ran to the tomb and found the burial clothes only) two of them were going to a village seven miles from Jerusalem called Emmaus, and they were conversing about the things that had occurred. And it happened that while they were conversing and debating, Jesus Himself drew near and walked with them, but their eyes were prevented from recognizing Him.” (Why were they prevented from recognizing Him?) He asked them, ‘What are you discussing as you walk along?’ They stopped, looking downcast (DISCOURAGED). One of them, named Cleopas, said to Him in reply, ‘Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know of the things that have taken place there in these days?’”

“And He replied to them, ‘What sort of things?’ They said to Him, ‘The things  that happened to Jesus the Nazarene, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, how our chief priests and rulers both handed Him over to a sentence of death and crucified Him. But we were hoping that He would be the one to redeem Israel; (by now they showed no faith that He would do such thing… Even worse, it seems that these disciples had followed Jesus expecting some gain… I suspect that this lack of trust in Jesus as God and not just a prophet prevented their eyes from recognizing Him… Big lesson for us… Our faith help us to recognize Him even in the Eucharistic Species; the lack thereof makes us blind) and besides all this, it is now the third day since this took place. Some women from our group, however, have astounded us: they were at the tomb early in the morning and did not find His body; they came back and reported that they had indeed seen a vision of angels who announced that He was alive. Then some of us went to the tomb and found things just as the women had described, but Him they did not see.” (Remember that these men had heard Jesus announcing His Passion three times, but they were clueless…)

Note: how many times we simply do not expect this God within to be with us at all times, resurrected and walking with us? We receive Him at Mass and bury His Presence for the rest of the day. What about if we started showing others the importance of realizing that He is with us at every second of our lives and for us to be cognizant of this fact… Wouldn’t this be a form of starting a personal relationship? How can we start a relationship if we do not acknowledge His Presence?

Scene No. 2

“And He said to them, “Oh, how foolish you are! How slow of heart to believe all that the prophets spoke! Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and enter into His glory?’ Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets, He interpreted to them what referred to Him in all the scriptures.”

Note: Wow… The Word of God and transmitted by God Himself is a double edge sword… They had lost their faith on Him and did not expect Him to redeem them. They were thinking in worldly terms and had expected the liberation from another nation. They had not understood that the redemption would be of their own souls to live with Him in eternity. He used the Scriptures to build up their faith. At the same time, in this scene, a friendship was developing, a personal relationship with this stranger…!

Scene No. 3

“As they approached the village to which they were going, He gave the impression that He was going on farther. But they urged Him, ‘Stay with us, for it is nearly evening and the day is almost over.’ So, He went in to stay with them. And it happened that, while He was with them at table, He took bread, said the blessing, broke it, and gave it to them. With that, their eyes were opened and they recognized Him, but He vanished from their sight. Then they said to each other, ‘Were not our hearts burning (within us) while He spoke to us on the way and opened the Scriptures to us?’”

Note: Amazing… This relationship only had the duration of a 7 mile walk; yet, they invited Him in to share their meal… Great show on their part of love of neighbor!  No doubt that basking in His Presence was enough to increase their love for Him. Good idea for us: spending time in front of His Real Presence is like spiritual money in the bank… But what about if He had never been invited? How many of us simply fail to ask Him in because we never put the time to relate to Him on a one to one basis? How foolish we can be!

Scene No. 4

“So they set out at once and returned to Jerusalem where they found gathered together the eleven and those with them who were saying, ‘The Lord has truly been raised and has appeared to Simon!’ Then the two recounted what had taken place on the way and how He was made known to them in the breaking of the bread.”

Note: here we have two men who invited Jesus into their lives and He healed their unbelief through the Word and the Eucharist… And lo and behold, they were energized like the ‘bugs bunny” losing their discouragement to show faith and love for Him all over again, and they ran to tell others that He was alive (evangelization…) It was obvious to me that many Catholics are represented with these two disciples. These two disciples left the company of the Eleven despite the possibility that He had risen… Nowadays, many have left the Church discouraged for whatever different reasons… But it took a rather short time for them to turn around and unite with the Eleven and other disciples, soon to become Church. Their hearts were burning even before the breaking of the bread… Likewise, we can turn discouragement into action and teach others how…

Well, now if I become discouraged, I must remember that the Bible has many uplifting explanations to pick me up and that no matter what I see or hear or gives scandal to my heart, I am walking with Him and that my real work is not to fight discouragement, but to enhance this personal relationship with the Crucified, and when I am visiting Him in front of the Tabernacle, to know that our friendship will generate more faith and hope and love and that most of the time, in the case of the discouragement due to things that I cannot change (like the medical practice), I can pray for the conversion of those who keep us taking drugs that also are dangerous for our health. In general, discouragement is not possible when I remember that I am not alone and that He walks with me all day. This friendship builds up my faith and discouragement in time becomes hope.

Summary: The new evangelization must have a plan to integrate the preaching of the Gospel but with knowledge of His Word in action in our lives, and a plan why which we become trained to walk with Him all day long. Of course, realizing that He is embedded as well in the poor, the sick, the homeless, in our enemies, and to such presence of Christ we must treat with special love and devotion. In turn, the Holy Spirit will use us as bridges for Him to enter many other souls.

For this new evangelization and for my particular case:

1. I must do God’s will above all things and obstacles and fears… just to give Him glory. I must make an effort to always remember that He is next to me, within me, above me, behind me, and always loving me like a mom loves her baby. I must daily seek His Wisdom in the Bible and as needed.

2. I must definitely grow in true zeal in seeking the conversion of many souls. True zeal is another word for a deep love for the salvation of our brothers and sisters. I must pray often for myself to love those who are an obstacle in this way. He answers rapidly…

3. Besides growing in zeal, my life as an evangelizer requires living my discipleship in an exemplary manner. I must deny myself in all those things that keep me distracted from the work of the Kingdom and all done under God’s guidance.

4. I must offer sacrifice, which includes the acceptance of all crosses possible, including the optional ones. I must remember that it is in giving that we receive. The more I give myself to my neighbor, even growing quietly in love for them through prayer to do so, that much more grace I will receive for this work of evangelization.

5. If discouragement arrives, I must remember how Jesus turned the discouraged disciples into evangelizers: with His Word and forming a friendship with Him, that culminated with receiving His Real Presence, and therefore I should do it as often as possible, hopefully daily.

6. I must pray day and night, with several Rosaries per day as I seek the love and guidance of my Mother and her protection against the evil one.

7. The rest, the Holy Spirit will take care of.

I have received a list of different topics similar to these two and which deserve a deep look into and as possible obstacles for us in becoming a bridge for the Holy Spirit to change many souls. As I understand it, this training should become a full time ministry in each parish. We must be trained to look for obstacles, many which Satan will place in our path; others that our flesh will create. But for all cases and all topics, God has a plan and we simply have to learn to live in His Presence all day, in order to “see” and “hear” and obey His will. This change is from inside out and unstoppable by evil forces.

There are four feasts of Our Lady that I want to mention:

December 1: Our Lady of Ratisbone – Bavaria, Germany

December 8: Our U.S. patroness, The Immaculate Conception and Our Lady Untier of Knots.

December 12: our glorious evangelizer of the America’s, Our Lady of Guadalupe.

May we call her to help us with our spiritual disabilities, so to become powerful agents of the New Evangelization in this Year of Faith.

Have a great Advent and a very Merry Blessed Christmas.

Romans 8:28 for our present times

November 8, 2012

You are right, it is not the end of the month and I am not supposed to be writing a new blog. However, I was “mandated” to do so by the Holy Ghost and it is a much shorter message. I will share some stories of what happened in my life on November 6 and 7. They gave me so much knowledge and understanding but of course, I could not make myself dare to mention them to you… because it is a painful review of our “stupidity” and St. Paul used such word referring to the Galatians… So, after saying the Rosary and convicted that I had to share these thoughts in the Internet, I requested of God three pages in the Bible, and not by number, but just opening it up three times and to find in them any form of the verb “to write,” in order for me to make it public. I called my Mother for assistance and the Holy Spirit each time just before I opened the Bible. And yes, three times, in Ezekiel chapters 2 and 9, plus Luke 16, words of writing or written were there. Also, as I was searching for such words, somehow I did not inspect the end of chapter 2 before I read Ezekiel chapter 3. There, the Lord told the prophet that he would be responsible and guilty for their actions, if he did not tell the people what He would reveal to him… Ouch! Here we go:

November 6.

Although not feeling well, I made an effort to go to early Mass and arrived at 6 AM in order to park the car just by the entrance of the church and this way to cut down the walking from the general parking lot. The Mass was at 6:30 AM. Thereafter, I spent the following hours in front of the Tabernacle until the next Mass at Noon. I was able to pray 13 Rosaries and again, for the will of God to be done… But by now, I knew why He always had insisted (for other elections) to pray just for His will to be done. This time however, I was also led to offer these two Masses and Rosaries for other things. Here is the list which I had shared with a close friend around mid afternoon on Election Day, much before any results were available:

1. Reason to ask for the will of God only when I pray Rosaries on election days. I never understood why until a few weeks ago. If I pray for X candidate to win for the right reasons, of course, I am basically already feeling some distaste or even resentment for the other… That was very important to understand. When we pray without the best love of neighbor that we can feel, we are losing power in our prayer…

2. But on this November 6, I learned something else. To ask for the will of God also covers much more territory…

1)I was asked to pray for the conversion of all voters, especially those who had voted or were voting in favor of a candidate that favors the killing of babies in the womb, but to truly think of the immense sin they were committing..My prayer of intercession had to be one in love for them… so that their sins would be expiated with the Rosaries and a cry to the Throne of God’s mercy to obtain their conversion.

 

2) Also I had to mention most especially pro choice Catholic voters. 

 

3) But I also needed to pray as well for pro-life voters since they may have voted more as an act of revenge or discrimination against Mr. Obama than actually for the sake of the babies.

 

Since I was praying a chaplet of Mercy intertwined with each Rosary, I offered the Eucharistic Jesus in atonement for their sins and asked God the Father for His mercy. Even more, I was asked to offer my present health problems in atonement as well… And yes, I had the grace to feel great love for all voters all throughout the 6.5 hours…

I must declare that I FINALLY GOT IT… His will is love for all, and not only to protect the life of babies and our liberties, but to protect the souls of all these candidates and voters that are pro-destroying the rights to life and to freedom of conscience, as well for those who vote out of resentment toward the other party.  

Nov. 7

With the final results on hand and just before the 8:30 AM (PT) Rosary in EWTN, I found myself understanding so many things and with a strong call to share them with you, and during the Rosary, it was when I asked for confirmation of such urge regardless of my lack of desire to pass it on, and Ezekiel and St. Luke’s writings came to light.

 

Here is what I found out:

 

1. It was evident that since the day before, the 13 Rosaries were said for many people that would elect a government full of controversy and mostly against the “family” as we know it… Of course, I did not get it at the time. The exit polls were clear:

The people who helped to continue the demoralization of this nation and were so important for this vote were “Latino’s.” (Ouch ). There is a clear reason why I was already asking Our Lady in front of His Son to pray for them, and why I was asking to the Father, atonement for their sins.

Latino vote

71% for the President (P).   27% for the Governor (G)

People attending Church weekly:

59% (G)     39% (P)

People attending church monthly

55% (P)      44% (G)

People who never attends church

62% (P)       34% (G)

Catholic voters

50% (P) Ouchhhhh  48% (G)

Protestant voters

57% (G)         42% (P)

It is interesting that there was a direct correlation between seeking God and being pro-life!

 

2. It is evident that the report card for our Catholic Church got an F… The Latino vote is full of Catholics… They were voting for their needs and not for moral issues. God was in the back burner.

 

3. When we find a report card that is this damaging, we must start changing our modus operandi and this Year of Faith is simply perfect to do so.

 

4. The question is, “If we stormed Heaven with prayers led by EWTN… what happened?” Great things happened… The will of God was simply perfect… He answered…

1) He sent us another and this time big reminder that prayer per se, without us learning to relate to His Son and truly following Him, has little power…

It was simple to figure it out… Here it is:

John 15: 7-17. If you remain in Me and My Words remain in you, ASK FOR WHATEVER YOU WANT AND IT WILL BE DONE FOR YOU! By this is my Father glorified, that you bear much fruit and become My disciples. As the Father loves Me, so I also love you. REMAIN IN MY LOVE… If you keep my commandments you will remain in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s Commandments and remain in His love. I have told you this so that My joy might be in you and your joy might be complete.This is my commandment: love one another as I love you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I no longer call you slaves, because a slave do not know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from My Father. It was not you who chose Me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in My Name He may give you. This I command you:  love one another.”

 

There you have it… Notice how the He spoke clearly about keeping the Commandments in general, but He placed an exquisite emphasis in love of God and of neighbor.

A relationship of love is a sign of a personal exchange… But if we want to love Him as He loves His Father and remain in His love, we must KEEP HIS WORDS… If we keep His commandments we establish such personal relationship. This is not even a hint… This is clear and brutally convicting us. If we were asking for a pro-life government, we simply did not get it… Instead we got an answer that could bring us to “see” that as a Church in the U.S.A., we have to change our ways, we have to convert our souls to remain in His love by the way we follow His commandments… and this way, we get whatever good and moral behaviors are needed for our society and I am talking about for the next hundred years… We must start now, since what appears to be the end times signs and symptoms, will require us to be equipped with wisdom, knowledge, faith, hope and love that are as high as possible, so that our prayers for the conversion of others may be heard and powerfully!

 

2) The above indictment is hard to accept, but we must remember that the fruits of our present witness of faith and love are poor according to the report card… and we all failed in some form or another: the leadership was not paid attention to. But why? The laity acted according to their self will, not God’s will, etc. Again, this big SIGN demands a new understanding of what we must do in our Church…

 

3) He answered us with this rejection to our petitions because IT WAS THE BEST FOR US… The best? O yeah! (Romans 8:28: We know that all things work for the good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose)…! Just imagine if the elections had been reversed a tiny bit and the Governor had won by a tiny margin, as did the President. We would have rested in our laurels because our prayer had been heard and that is that. We would go back to our own “stupid” ways that do not seek to GROW IN GETTING TO KNOW HIM, the Messiah King but on a personal basis and remain in His love. The Year of Faith would have consisted on speaking about the power of prayer but we would have not changed anything else. In fact, many would then turn to “passing the beads” to get what they want.

4) Now, many Catholics will be harassed by unjust laws that they will continue to fight in the Courts because the right of conscience will be violated otherwise… Wow… WHAT A GIFT… Just to suffer this threat in itself is a gift. The Year of Faith under any cross is simply a gift from God!

 

5) The call from God is now to truly look to ourselves and find out what is not going on according to God’s will. We have had close to 3 decades of instruction via the Catholic media… Enough is enough! There is no more time to be wasted in reading books and studying the Bible as a nice thing to do but not truly interested in obeying what it says! Are books bad? Of course not, but if they take our time away from developing a relationship with Him with acts of love for God and neighbor, well, books are not going to do much!

6)  The time has arrived to clean up house at every parish and nationally… And please do not stone me even with your thoughts…

First we must clean up our hearts… Again we do not need crowds to do it to begin with. A few of us can start and LET HIM DO THE JOB OF CLEANING HIS CHURCH… Yet, all clean up starts within… If you read any of the old Prophets, Ezekiel being one of them, Israel was in the same mess that we are now. And here, many centuries later, we are still on the map using their experiences as a guide, and now with the Redemptive help of the Crucified and aided by our OWN HEAVENLY MOM… GOD CAN DO IT… Let’s change our ways and pass it on to others who do not quite yet understand this point. We must become lamps and ASAP…

5. I am certain that this Thanksgiving must be one of great rejoicing and a time to give thanks to God because He has shown us our report card and it spells trouble, unless we change now…And the great news is that once the diagnosis is made, the treatment can be prepared, applied and spiritual health can return to us, and then proceed to help out many into getting to know Him… But first, we have to grow in this relationship so that further evangelization is properly guided to our “customers.”

 

6. Ah, there is something else… The New Evangelization is right in our hands. But there is a huge “but… which is that we cannot just think of the Catholic Church… Nope… We have to leave the 99 and seek to save one sheep for much rejoicing to be celebrated in Heaven. Our target, after getting busy into changing our puny relationship with the Christ and after we become light to others within the Church, is to SUFFER and embrace our crosses and kiss them and offer them up for those who today have lost the way… God does the work in their souls. It is up to us to become co-redemptors with the Crucified… He does not need us… He did it already and we re-live at every Mass such event of His death on a Cross to redeem us. Yet, in order for our love of neighbor to be substantial and sanctifying for us and others, we are called to unite our crosses to His.

One more thing: the Holy Spirit could do wonders if we start praying day and night for the conversion of the members of our present Government but as we grow to love them. This would be the greatest gift we can give our God…

 

Let me give you another story that occurred this same day of November 7th. It will illustrate how extraordinary and alive this God is among us, and how He takes us to others in ways that are unbelievable… In this story you will see how ONE TINY demonstration of love of neighbor exploded into a huge demonstration of love of neighbor… In fact, what happened really convinced me of the importance of changing our Church inside out with ways to truly celebrate the love of God and of neighbor, since it becomes a power house… As we see His extraordinary ways using us through our following of the Commandments of love, we become fascinated and OUR FAITH INCREASES…

I had to go to the closest Target Store (2 miles from my house) in order to buy Evian, the only water I drink to stay away from fluoride. Remember that it has been chemically tested as being one of the lowest in this mineral. I was hesitant in going since sometimes just any small amount of breakfast will start a horrible pain in my knees. I was debating and debating and still full of awe regarding all that I had learned about the election results as described above. Somehow, around 9:30 AM, I suddenly started to get ready and was out of my house by 10 AM in route to Target. I found even a better sale than normal for Evian. So, I picked up 7 packs of 6 large bottles of this water per pack. When I came to inspect the different cashier lines, I stood in one but made a move to check the next one, and yet not certain…

Here starts the story: a lady around mid thirties (dark skin but not African American or Hispanic and without an accent) was just behind me with a few items in a little basket hanging from her arm. She asked me if I was going to move to the other cashier. I said no. So, she stood behind me. Suddenly, I recognized that I had too many things and she almost nothing and I said,

 

First act of love of neighbor: “If you are in a hurry, you come first. Go ahead of me.” She answered, “No, I am not in a hurry.”

Second act of love of neighbor: She immediately said, “May I help you placing these packs of water in the conveyor belt?” I said, “No, thank you. I only turn one of the packs upside down and the cashier with a special gadget and from afar, will get the price of the item and will multiply it seven times.” She smiled. I went through and paid and l left. Normally, the cashier will offer to get a Target employee to take this heavy load to my car. Not this day and I did not request it either. Sometimes I am the one asking for this favor.

Third act of love of neighbor: she apparently paid cash and was done fast and came after me as I was going slowly with this very heavy shopping cart. She said, “May I go with you and help you placing these packs in the car for you?” I said, “Yes.” By then I was getting a strange feeling. How many times Angels appear and since I am consecrated to the Holy Angels and my Baptismal name carries such consecration (my name ends with “of the Angels”), well, I truly felt something strange. Was she an angel?

Fourth act of love of neighbor: we got to my car and she placed everything inside. I, in turned, said, “May I give you a gift?” And started telling her all about dementia and what is the main source for it and my cure, etc… She was mesmerized. Then I asked, “Do you have any family member or friend suffering with depressions.” She said, “Yes.” I proceeded to tell her about carrageenan. All along, I kept saying to ther, “This help is from God to me and now I must share it with others. I am very religious but I do not want to offend you.” She also said that she was very religious. We never discussed our affiliation but we both were Christians. Finally, she started to hug me with great love, especially when I told her how to make a differential diagnosis regarding carrageenan: that is to give a can of Ensure or Slim-Fast to the person and wait for 2 hours, and if the person became depressed, this is because of carrageenan.

Fifth act of love of neighbor: she started saying how she is abandoning even some anti aging facial treatments and that had told her husband that they should start eating a better diet. I then offered to share with her the DVD with the information of Dr. Joel Fuhrman as discussed in previous blogs, and asked her for her address to send her one… She immediately started writing her address and it happens that she lives in Hercules, a place many miles away from this Target. God has brought me to this place on this day and her at the same time… Imagine the TIMING ELEMENT… I had to help one of His children and I was supposed to be at a particular time on a particular day and on a particular place…Then, we had to finish our shopping at a determined moment and meet at a particular cashier’s line and there are about 12 of them. 

Sixth act of love of neighbor: she offered to take the empty shopping cart to the designated area so that I would not need to walk any further…

Well, this story will prove to me and forever that we are evangelizing at all times of the day and night, but in order not to miss the meeting with X neighbor, one has to be very cognizant of the inside of our hearts and obeying His will, in order to be guided to an event like this one… Also consider that by our obedience to His will (love of God), we can go and distribute His love to others (love of neighbor), and such love becomes multiplied. It reminds me how the love of God when Jesus multiplied the fish and the loaves of bread and given to His disciples to distribute, it produced a huge miracle… It was love multiplied… and given to the 5,000… In the other hand, the Holy Spirit started the whole exercise of love of neighbor by moving me to ask her to go first. The rest of the acts exploded from the first one. In the eyes of our Dad in heaven, we probably looked just beautiful trying to help each other at all cost…Of course, these considerations came after the fact.

Summary

On November 2, on All Souls Feast Day… (Hmm), I was given a list of all things needed to do in any parish to get to know Jesus personally… In order to be sure this is from God (and before the election results), I asked for a sign from God if He wants it shared with my pastor, but the sign has to be fairly clear… If no sign appears, well, God does not want me to pass it on. Among the items that were mentioned to do in our parishes, one is crucial… We must tackle our resentments…

I think I have mentioned before that in 2005 I made a list of all people that I resent… My most horrible persecutors are not resented but there are others, not persecutors per se, whom I resent, from movie stars to media presenters to doctors and nurses with whom I worked, etc. In three days, we will have a healing Mass in my parish, and I have realized that to start my work of personal conversion for this Year of Faith, I am going to update this list and take it to Mass but before the healing service, in order to repent and ask for pardon for not loving my neighbor(s) as I should have… Hopefully during the prayer for spiritual and physical healing, I will be liberated of this chain of resentments that makes me fault my love of neighbor.

So, how I wished that we would clean up house in our Church by making of resentment a topic to be exposed and evaluated for what it is… If I do not love my neighbor, I cannot remain in His Love… If I resent anyone, the practice of my second most important commandment is a joke. So, in order to foster a personal relationship with Jesus, it would be great to have people gather in each parish with a list of personal resentments on hand, and pray as a group to be healed and may be followed with a personal confession with a priest. These are the little things that have to be worked up in our Church

We must also discuss what prayer is all about… We need to work on the purity of intention of our prayers for each other. I cannot ask for my neighbor what I think is good in my eyes, but that the will of God be done in their lives. Also, prayer has to be understood as an act of love… for God and others…

 The most important part of this sharing is that we are alright… Yes, we had a failing grade in the last days, but we also have a merciful God Who waits for us to wake up and change our ways… The BIG QUESTION is how to prepare for a new Pentecost in our hearts? Well, for that to occur so that we truly become lights to convert not just a few here and there, but the thousands, we must therefore, be trained on how to clean our act within and seek to remain in His LOVE… It is obvious that to remain in love with someone, it requires knowing the other… So, we must first establish ways to get to know Jesus as never before and to show them to others. The Holy Spirit would do His part and our conversion needed for the new evangelization would be running on eagle wings!

May you have a very blessed feast of Thanksgiving!

P.S.: Am I going to write another blog at the end of the month? I suspect that yes, but I do not want to make any decisions now, which He will make for me anyway.