Archive for January, 2010

More on important aspects of true servanthood

January 27, 2010

You will see that this blog has the same topic than last month’s but with a little twist that refreshes it because I lived some of these experiences in past years as well as during  the last 4 weeks. It will add some important aspects of what it means to be the best servant! It seems that God has repeated the same basic teaching over and over, while patiently waiting for me to absorb it and live it. Hmm! I will also share some recent spiritual fruits from my intensifying labor of living the best I could the Truth in the present moment. I will explain the circumstances I was living at the time before sections A and B,. I have mentioned some details in past blogs; however, I need to mention it again in order to refresh your memory and pair it with the things I was learning at the time. Sorry for the repetitions! There has been numerous problems upon posting this blog, and huge spaces  were created in between some of the paragraphs… Of course, computers are like some of us; they have their own minds and it is  hard to convince them to do the right thing!



One more thing:  I had too much material for this blog and so, I will share some portions in next month’s blog and they will deal with servanthood and pride/humility, and servanthood and envy. It seems that the Holy Spirit is building a method for me in order to review often my responsibilities as a servant to better prepare me for the mission field. Nonetheless, the blog will be long! (I am posting this blog a little earlier because February will have 28 days only, and in case you get short of time to read the present one!)

 Parts A and B are notes from my journal from previous years


 Background at the time that I learned Part A. In those days I was giving anesthetics for hours at a time to beautify the bodies of women of all ages (plastic surgery).Then, after hours of “passing gases” (anesthetic gases), I had to supervise through a system devised by this commission that accredits health care facilities,  the medical and nursing practices and even office personnel, with the goal of seeking performance improvement and  eliminating any possible errors or near mishaps.So, I had to deal with many chores all geared to “maintain” this place’s safety with days that  lasted 12-14 hours with minimal breaks in between. Besides, I had to “update” the surgery center for an upcoming accreditation by Joint Commission, which comes around every three years. In the midst of all of this, I had to deal with human beings, with their positive and negative points, knowing that Satan would always be around (and he was no doubt about it).

 I also had to deal with the patients that were to receive anesthetics for plastic surgery. I knew I was dealing with women who longed for perfect bodies as a way to supposedly find happiness, and of course, it was clear that I was dealing with souls who had not met the Crucified as a liberator of these needs. I had to act as a disciple of Jesus Christ to the latte, love them to pieces before surgery and pray for them during surgery; it was more demanding  with the nursing personnel because  they knew I was very religious and would see me saying Rosaries during long and very stable cases (cases that could last 8-10 hours with multiple procedures and without lunch, just bottled water and a zone bar). Just imagine if I was saying Rosaries in the O.R. and lacking love for them! What scandal would have been for their hearts!

  I was always cognizant that I could damage His image by any error in my work as a servant. For all purposes, we all act in “persona Christi” or representing Christ to our brothers and sisters, although not in the same sense that ministerial priests do. Our Priests bring Him alive to us by their anointing with Holy Orders. As a common priestess, I had to bring Christ to others by acting and loving as He did. Of course, it is amazing how if we try, He is always there helping in the process. Besides, very often I had to remind myself to embrace all my crosses that they would impose of me in order to follow the Master in all His aspects. It was a major spiritual balancing act!



Tuesday, December 10, 2002.

My routine was to get up at 4:30 AM and do a Holy Hour starting at 5:30 and receive the Eucharist at the 6:30 AM Communion Service. But this day, the O.R. schedule at the surgery center would start later than 7:30 AM. So, I was able to attend the Communion Service first and then stay for about 45 minutes in adoration of the Eucharistic Heart of Jesus before I went to work. No matter how hard I tried, I could not find in my purse the wrist-watch, which I had not placed on my arm as yet, and I had to make two trips to find a clock outside the perpetual adoration chapel in order to check the hour so that I would not be late at the surgery center, which was located about one mile from my parish…

When I was saying good-bye to my Lord, I felt that the Holy Spirit wanted me to understand something. I immediately  started to take notes since I was going to spend many hours working and did not want to forget all the details of the message, and this is what I understood:  “Remember that the center of true repentance is to acknowledge or own, repent and amend any and all sins against your primary occupation: to love… The watch was hidden from your eyes so that you would forget about time. Time is for men to switch from one occupation to another: eating, working, playing and sleeping. In My Kingdom, there is only one occupation: to love eternally, timelessly. You do the same: love all the time. Now, open your hands and your heart to receive My love so that you can give it to others.”

I did it and felt happy to receive it…but in my clumsiness I said, “Fill me up Lord now and every time that I am low with Your love, so that I am always ready to give it to my brother/sister.”  “No”, I understood He meant, “It does not work that way. You are not a receptacle that needs to be filled up from time to time. You are only a vehicle of My love. It is like hemoglobin that carries oxygen to your human body. I give you My love (oxygen) coming from My Heart and you give it away to others (your brothers and sisters). Then, it will come back to Me and I will give it back to you to give it away once more in an endless circle of loveIt comes back to Me, not because of your neighbor who received it and sends it back, but because of your obedience to the Gospel. This is why you must love all the time so that you do not stop the flow.”

“Whenever you resent, whenever you look at your brother/sister with coldness or indifference and especially without forgiveness, you stop the flow, and because this love of Mine is for them, you cannot use it since it was not meant for you. I suffer when you do not pass My love in this timeless wave of giving and receiving. I cannot fill you up because you are already full since I loved you since the moment of your conception!  They are also full of My love since their conception but do not know it since they are blinded to My Presence! Love will triumph as long as you are willing to carry it for Me and be My eyes, My ears and hands with the best servant attitude that you can.”

I freaked out and left in pain for not having listened to Him earlier when He probably tried to tell me the same thing, but I was too busy with self-indulgences, self-satisfactions and self-love and I had ignored that I was a channel of His love 24/7… Ouch!     (Shortly after, my wrist watch appeared in my purse as if by magic!)


 Saturday, December 21, 2002. After 8 AM Mass, I I felt that my Divine Eucharistic Child Jesus wanted me to give Him a gift for His upcoming birthday. It consisted in my clear understanding and my living the missionary work for the Kingdom. I received knowledge of many parts of this call and wrote them as soon as I arrived home.

1. I am called to be a missionary at home, at work, at Church. I should not send people away. I must give them something to eat myself. I must feed them the revelation of God who is LOVE. Therefore I must do it through my love for them.

2. To be born into being a missionary, I must contemplate the face of Jesus with ardor so that I can set out anew from Him with the zeal of Pentecost. This setting out requires a serious commitment to holiness, with an attitude of prayer and listening to His Word while keeping a silent heart to hear the whisperings of His Spirit.  

3. This call to the mission field is an urgent invitation that also deserves a generous and immediate answer.

4. At each breath I must remember that my full time job is “to love”. The Most Holy Trinity will supply the rest of my spiritual, mental and physical needs, as well as of those I care for.

5. By virtue of my Baptism, I am a meeting tent for the Lord to dwell in. My love of God and neighbor is the oil that keeps the lamp outside of my tent burning day and night before Him, as Yahweh requested to Moses. This lamp will make it easier for others to enter their own inner tents and find Him by recognizing His love in me.

6. I am my brother/sister’s keeper by virtue of the family created at the foot of the Cross. Ways that will help deliver this care (to be my neighbor’s keeper) are:

1) I will hide their sin from my eyes as best as I can and on a routine basis.

2) I will find their goodness and exult it in my eyes.

3) I will care for them to the point of death on a cross.

4) I will pray daily for them.

5) I will serve them as if I were serving Jesus Himself.              

6) I will seek my mystical death or the detachment to any love that seeks any self- gratification. That is to love only for the sake of my neighbor and out of sheer giving as Jesus loves them.

7) If my brother/sister sins against me, I will pardon him/her 70 times 7 or over and over.  I will proceed to empty myself of any resentment because of their sin and I will try to love them as myself for the glory of God and for His pleasure. I must always remember that my resentment makes my neighbor appear in front of the Lord as sinning over and over against me, and this will tie my neighbor up even further. So, on earth, I am the one that can free my neighbor by forgetting their sin.

7. My love of God and of neighbor can only grow in the fire of obedience to the Gospel. My soul must ignore sufferings, contradictions, sorrows, persecutions, because when it is dead to all, in the midst of these pains, it bears abundant fruit. These fruits are the virtues and they include the fruit of growing in loving others. This love of neighbor is one that does not seek my own satisfaction in the act of loving, rather the good of the one whom is loved. Love without the sacrifice of the Cross, without the suffering of self denial, is not divine love. It is only this divine love that has the power to beget more love and bring true peace.

8. I must pass the love of Jesus to my neighbor in order to keep this endless circle of love flowing in a timeless wave of giving and receiving.

9. I must contemplate the face of Christ in my brother/sister, so that I may be able to love them in Christ and Christ in them, in a seamless flow of love.

10. I should give thanksgiving to my Lord in a heartfelt and not lip service manner, and that is by loving Him with all my heart, soul and strength and my neighbor as myself as I trust (faith without fear) in His love and mercy for me in every circumstance.

11. In the Kingdom of God, there is only one occupation: to love eternally. My occupation on this earth should be the same!


Background at the time that learned part B. At this point, I was home without a job and “walking on water.” My surgery center’s main stock holder based in Birmingham, AL had left and a Catholic hospital, which was also a minor partner, bought the shares and became the main stockholder. Even that I had passed this surgery center through accreditation with the highest percentage ever in the USA, and only 6 months before, this new main owner did not want to pay my high salary, and asked doctors  from their own hospital anesthesia department to cover fee for service, that is, to no cost to themselves because the anesthesiologists would bill the patients for services rendered. By now I was pretty much used to persecution and to God’s ways in my life. I must add  that this Catholic hospital anesthesia group had offered to hire me as their own and to stay as director of the surgery center with the same salary, but my Lord did not allow me to accept this offer. However and unbeknownst to me at the time, it was a great gift from my God in two ways:

1) In order to keep me out of the operating room and fluorinated anesthetic gases…for the sake of my memory.

 2) To give me the huge cross of walking on the water of the sea of “faith without fear” that equals to profess blind trust in His love, which would bring more of His mercy to me. I mention this to prove to my readers that all crosses under His will are always blessings… Always!  And as Romans 8:28 promises!

Topic:  Who is my Neighbor?

First Friday of the Sacred Heart of Jesus – Feast of St. Therese of Lissieux

October 1, 2004

 Resentment against my neighbor

I woke up this day at 3:10 AM and I immediately started understanding many things about resentment and its origin. After 20 minutes of marveling at such teaching, I got up, turned on the light and started taking notes…

Resentment comes out of our expectations of what we need others to give us: good example, support, love, respect, company, goodness or simply “just” treatment, etc.  When our expectations are not met, we resent.

Resentment will simply kill our love for neighbor and it could even lead us to want revenge. Resentment is an act of self-love. Resentment represents our self-will running free and wild without any trace of denial. Resentment comes out of judging others for not being what we expect them to be but for our own benefit, not theirs, even if my neighbor’s behavior is truly obnoxious. Resentment magnifies our self-idolatry. And so, we go through life resenting our parents, siblings, neighbors, teachers, students, peers, other religions, other nations. For example: the Moslems resent us for not believing in Allah. We resent the Moslems for not being civil about it and for denying us to have free choice in our God selection.

The only expectation we are allowed to have from neighbor is anything that will make our neighbor a better person (and never related to us or our need). In the economy of God, there is one special item that we should always expect of our neighbor: to be holy for God, not for us, and in His time and manner.

Resentment and servanthood are deeply related.

1. Servanthood requires not only to say “yes” to what is and that God has allowed in our lives, but to understand that the servant never expects anything from others to satisfy him/herself. Beyond that, the servant of the Lord must understand that obeying the master requires lack of reasoning and understanding of the circumstances around His will, and is expected to cooperate gratefully for being part of the Master’s sanctifying plan for others. Said in another words, true servanthood is a constant spending of our wills in obeying the Master’s wishes for the Master’s glory and our neighbor’s benefit as well, without any expectations of anything for us from either one of them.  Servanthood does not include protestation of any sort or resenting the Master’s will.

This servanthood was depicted the best by father Abraham, Noah, Moses, and of course, by Our Lord Jesus and His Mother!          

2. In true servanthood, the servant is not just a simple doer of the master’s wishes. The servant of the Lord, as Our Lady calls herself in the Magnificat, goes beyond simple service to say Yes to the will of God and to cooperate for the good of others as depicted in the lives of the above role models, which actually represent a perfect act of faith in the Father’s love and mercy … It is a higher call.  The servant of the Lord trusts that the Word of God Incarnate through the Holy Spirit will sanctify others in His time, place, and manner.

3. This servant will incarnate the Word of God Himself in his/her life, and will serve out of love of God (saying “yes” to the will of the Father) and to become a sacrifice to sanctify his/her brothers and sisters, and in doing so, the servant will fulfill admirably and completely  both most important Commandments.

4. This servant will have a radical stand to love God for His own sake and to be a willing cooperative piece in the universal plan of salvation of the human race. This servant understands that he/she must become a self donation to God for this cause.

5. This servant will strive to be the best mediator of graces for his/her brothers/sisters; the best giver of love and presence and care for neighbors; the best bridge of faith and hope, but it will also imply accepting his brother/sister where they are at and not expecting anything from them.

6. The servant of the Lord, in the other hand, should go as far as even accepting their neighbor’s reproof, judgment, mistreatment and/or dissipated spiritual lives. The servant of the Lord does not expect any love from brothers and sisters.

7. The servant of the Lord will believe deeply that he/she should be like Abraham, Moses, Noah, the Master or His Mother, so that in faithful obedience like these role models, he/she may become a gift to others, a donation to others, and out of this practice, the fruits will lead him/her to complete the works of mercy in this life, as they also become praise of the glory of the Trinity on this earth and for eternity.

8. This servant of the Lord will end up practicing the “little way” of St. Therese, one of love and confidence and will end up becoming like the Master Himself, giving his/her life for the other. St. Therese understood that the 10 Commandments were not 10 suggestions and she summarized her little way by saying “DO EVERYTHING IN LIFE WITH GREAT LOVE, ALWAYS TRUSTING IN HIS MERCIFUL LOVE.”

9. Therefore, the servant of the Lord or true servanthood in contrast with the regular servant, not only submits to God and His Word with blind obedience, but does it with the purpose of cooperating, of helping brother/sister to be sanctified, which is the greatest form of love for them. However, when everything is said and done, he/she leaves everything in the hands of God who does the planning, and never even expects results from his/her efforts, because his/her call is to serve and not to “manage” his/her neighbor’s spiritual life!


10. The way of “confidence” helps the servant of the Lord to trust the Word of God and that he/she can be a true disciple when he/she denies his/her very self, without expecting personal gain from others. It helps the servant  embrace the cross of self-denial and complete obedience to God’s will at every present moment and the cross of acceptance of the neighbor’s attitudes that can be difficult, cruel, self-centered. It will also help him/her to follow the Master Jesus.

11. The servant of the Lord trusts that he/she is giving glory to the Trinity via this “little way” and that his/her own sanctification is therefore assured. The servant of the Lord magnifies the Lord with gratitude for allowing him/her to be  part of His merciful plan of salvation, as promised to Abraham and all subsequent generations, and for being given the grace to obey the most important Second Commandment. He/she then rejoices in God the savior.


 12. How magnificent is to meditate in the fact that Jesus mixed Himself with prostitutes because He did not expect anything from them, not even purity. He mixed with pagans because He did not expect them to have any faith in God. He intertwined three years of His life with 12 men whom He chose from all walks of life and sinfulness because He did not expect help from them and to become His support at a crucial painful time of His life in Calvary. He did not expect not to be denied by Peter, the head of His Church; He did not even expect their faithfulness as He patiently waited for Judas to sell Him for a few pieces of silver. He never resented anyone and therefore, He was able to pray for His enemies all the way to the Cross, because He expected nothing from them for Himself as He fully accepted the role of the true servant of the Lord by giving His own life, becoming a gift, self-donating His Being as a sacrifice for the sanctification of the whole human race. So, when following the Master, we have no Biblical basis to expect any brother or sister to be different than what he/she already is.

It is precisely this sacrifice of accepting my neighbor where he/she is at, and to love him/her because they are images of God first and foremost, that creates powerful waves of love that will remove their blindness and deafness forever. So, any resentment is a major block for this redemptive plan.

On Saturday, January 16, 2010, the Feast of Our Lady of Montserrat in Spain and after Communion, as I remembered this lesson from 2004 that I had resurrected from my Sam disk files to share in this blog, it helped me enormously to deal with any aches on my part when I sensed spiritual dissipation around me. Of course, I am no supposed to expect anything differently from my brother/sister. He never did.  If I notice it, it’s only to remind me to ask for mercy for them and for myself in order to submit to my crosses for their sake, and otherwise, to let it be! This was like balm for my soul! Amazing grace!

C. The servant must pay equal attention to the gifts received (amount, quality, etc.) and to the responsibility of housing the gifts, to better be able to multiply them!

I did understand something else regarding our Baptismal and Confirmation anointing and respective gifts of being prophets, common priests, kings and under the reign of the Holy Ghost, and that is, that we should urgently understand that these gifts deserve that we house them on earthen vessels that are clean and restored. In other words, we cannot put all emphasis on the gifts but also on the responsibilities to properly house these gifts. Our temples within must be adorned with love, trust, mercy, justice and lack of resentment, envy and pride. And I would extend it to the ministerial priesthood because Priests receive the greatest and most sublime gift possible on this earth: to “make Jesus for us”, and other services related to being conformed to Christ through the anointing of Holy Orders. They and we laity should tremble as we seek ways to multiply our talents, which the oil of anointing from the different Sacraments given to us through the Church. But in order to do it, we need to pay attention to our growth in holiness according to His purposes for us. It is not a choice… It is a duty!  

On January 6, 2010, on the actual feast of the Epiphany and after Communion, I understood that we are not short of vocations to the ministerial priesthood. In fact, I received an urgent call to add to my daily prayer for the ministerial priesthood, these other supplications:

1. I now pray for all men from conception to adulthood who have been  called from all eternity to be priests after Jesus Christ the High Priest, to first be able to hear the call, and for them to be protected from their flesh, the world and the devil so that they do not miss seeking this vocation with ardor. I have to pray as well for their parents not to obstruct their vocation, and for them to find from childhood and up, the right parishes, the right pastors and the right seminaries, everything that will prepare their earthen vessels for the gift of Holy Orders! In other words, we need preventive prayer to suffocate all darts from the flesh, the world and the evil one that could muffle the sound of the call!

2.  I need to pray for seminaries and seminary professors, that the gift of Holy Orders and the responsibility that it entails be emphasized equally, or said in other words, to seek a life of holiness to house the gift of Holy Orders.

And all of us must always keep the words of our first Pope very much in mind! “ à  1Peter 2:7. Like living stones, let yourselves be built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.””

D. Servanthood needs a surveillance method of personal covenant keeping

I am convinced that to be a missionary we have first to learn this profession. To be a lawyer, teacher, physician, scientist, one has to attend graduate school in order to be able to practice the trade. So, too, we should exercise our servanthood but always in training for the mission field. We must engage in an ongoing pursuit of holiness of life, looking up at our models: Jesus, His Mom, Moses, Abraham, all the Saints. Then His Spirit can transform us into missionaries just as He did in Acts of the Apostles. Some years ago, I made a checkup list in order to review daily when possible, and often for sure, and I titled it, “Covenant Keeping Surveillance” – 2004. I knew that I only had to keep a surveillance of my covenant of love with the Lord, and His Spirit would do the rest.



Were I to be called to go “home”

today, how prepared am I?





Did I welcome with love my crucifiers? Did I accept crosses from neighbor with “gusto”?







How did I react to their harshness and rudeness?

With patience (P)? Or with anger (A)?







Did I offer today my crosses in expiation for the sins of Priests, laity and all missionaries?







Did I perform my missionary work according to John 6:63? (calling the Holy Spirit because I cannot do it by myself)







Did I love my neighbor as myself today?






Did I erect false gods today? (My will, my desires, other people?






Today, have I considered my sins, repented and planned amendment?






Did I trust in the love of God for me today? If I did not, did I repent?






Have I said YES to my every present moment with great awe and love for God’s will for me?






How did I practice my profession of servanthood today? Have I consciously done all for the glory of God?







 E. FRUITS THAT I STUMBLED UPON during this past month à January 2010!

1. As I tried to live the sacrament of the present moment the best I could and often retire to my inner temple to adore Him, and since nowadays it is soo easy, I noticed that every time someone’s behavior or something scandalous became the center of my focus, there was a force behind me saying,  “draw a blank on your present thoughts and ask for  mercy” and I understood that I had to pray for mercy for the person or people related to the event, let’s say, “crowds” in the stadiums as we approach the Super Bowl. It became a routine in the last two weeks and I know that this was a work of His mercy in my heart… What a God! In due time, this practice was gathering graces for something else… and you’ll read about it soon…

2. I made a list of the many ways that Satan harasses us via Internet, television, printed press, etc., and I was led to pray for mercy in this way (This was mid month… Much more was learned later… You will see at the end of the blog how I was being trained to ask for His mercy with a new method!)

1) When cooking, I asked for mercy for those who worked in the fields/factories to produce what I cook. And for the Food Industry when they use so many additives that are poisoning our bodies, or those that increase hunger and impede satiety…

2) When watching TV news, I asked for mercy for those who appear in the screen.

3) When watching religious programs, I asked for mercy for those seen in the screen.

4) When I saw commercials advertising equipment or ways to “super” exercise geared  to render worship to our own bodies, I asked for mercy for them, for this new god we have created, where women’s super thin bodies are considered the norm… and huge biceps in men are considered  a sign of masculinity, and both have been made equivalent to happiness and success!

3. Regarding the Haitian tragedy of January 12:  on January 17, 2010 I found myself understanding how little I am in the Kingdom… It happens that as a child I grew up knowing well the figures of the dictators that governed this country, Papa Doc Duvalier and Baby Doc Duvalier, father and son who declared themselves “presidents for life.” Besides, forever and ever I knew that Haiti was the poorest country in the Western hemisphere. Even worse, my husband was born in the Dominican Republic and I visited his country several times while he was alive, and I knew quite well that it shared part of the same island than Haiti and how poor they were in contrast to the Dominican Republic..

Now pay attention to this: as I have mentioned before, I have in my possession an 8X11 page in Spanish with the Divine Mercy story and devotion in one side, and the picture of the Jesus of Mercy in the other, printed in Dearborn, MI in 1944. My maternal grandmother who was my main caregiver, used to pray it (this happened around 1946 onwards) and she even left me this information which is right now in my room…!!! In 1985 I had been already summoned to pray for mercy and started reading the Diary of St. Maria Faustina. Eventually, I had to buy another diary because the pages of this first copy became loose, and I still have it in my room as well, in order to preserve the notes I left in the old version. HOWEVER, I NEVER ONCE THOUGHT OF PRAYING FOR MERCY FOR HAITI… Mea culpa!

This time, I recognized with horror that we are one Body in Christ, and we have allowed hunger for so long and so close to our shores… We also now know that more than 300,000 children were already orphans before the earthquake… I wondered on this 17 of January that if years ago I had started praying for God’s mercy for this country, from a heart that was in serious pursuit of spiritual renewal, if Haiti would have raised itself at least to the level of the Dominican Republic, which was also under the reign of a dictator for 40 years (General Trujillo)… but still is in much better condition than Haiti. I immediately found myself repenting for my lack of love of neighbor…

It happened that on this same Sunday January 17, Hollywood was honoring their actors and actresses (Golden Globe Awards), and a very special award was given to a famous director/producer. This man indeed had directed as well “The Last Temptation of Christ,” and this produced an earthquake of disgust in my heart. In the other hand, the scenes of Haitians being rescued 8 days after being buried under rubble, medically impossible to comprehend, and CNN reporters speaking of miracles… when an old lady was singing to God under the debris of the Cathedral …brought me to understand that the mercy of God was there, listening to those who called Him…

Besides, this Sunday of January 17 was to be another step in my formation and I would add it as another resolution for 2010. After Holy Communion, I was begging for His mercy for me for having failed to ask for mercy for the many people that I had encountered in my past. And suddenly I understood a way to keep myself in constant attention to the Kingdom… It was the word Bama… (for Alabama?, since one of its universities became 2009 college football champion, or for Obama?) BAMA was to be a reminder forever of what I must do in my present moments…

BBROADCASTING… meaning the need to constant shout about the Presence of God within, in my neighbor, in the Eucharist  and in the Word of God; doing it in whatever way I am called to do it, present moment by present moment and not necessarily through this blog.  Broadcasting the Gospel with my life style that reflects growth in holiness and not just a “standstill of spiritual goodness,” must be a daily conscious decision for the rest of my life… and that means, looking for opportunities… Before, I would wait for God to provide those opportunities… Now, I know I must run and tell others, just like the Samaritan woman (John 4) or Mary Magdalene. Let me brag here a little: my adorable Jesus chose Mary of Magdala to go and tell His disciples about His resurrection… He chose a woman as an intermediary! Hmm! In 2010 I feel called to do the same!  

A and M  – Ask (for) Mercy “all day long”… and as suggested above! It is a matter of training our plastic brains all day to BAMA (I just created a new verb… Ouch). Later I will give you my two cents as to why His mercy is the answer to our present worldly chaos!

A Atone with my crosses for my neighbor’s sins… not once, or twice, but all day… As a suffering comes (tiredness, hurts, illness, etc), I must not waste the cross… since it is the key to dispatch Satan to Gehenna. Before, loving my crosses used to be the emphasis. Now, I must add a constant yearning to “atone” for the sins of all in the world, but at the top of the list, I must offer my sufferings in atonement for my brothers and sisters who are participating in whatever ways in the killing of unborn babies, including  those who remain silent (media)!

It is interesting that while editing this blog I went to read what Gehenna means! Even then, infant sacrifice was practiced and in the Old Testament it was clearly condemned by the Lord!

1. It comes from the Hebrew “Valley of Hinnon,” a place near Jerusalem where ritual infant-sacrifices had been practiced! (2Chr 28:1-3 – “Ahaz was twenty years old when he became king and he reigned sixteen years in Jerusalem. He did not please the Lord as his forefather David had done, but conducted himself like the kings of Israel and even made molten idols of the Baals. Moreover, he offered sacrifice in the Valley of Ben-hinnom, and immolated his sons by fire according to the abominable practice of the nations which the Lord had cleared out before the Israelites.”) The place was later used as depot for refuse.

2. The word became synonymous with place of malediction (Jeremiah 7:30-31 – “The people of Judah have done what is evil in My eyes,” says the Lord. “They have defiled the house which bears My Name by setting up in it their abominable idols. In the Valley of Ben-hinnom they have built the high place of Topheth to immolate in fire their sons and their daughters, such a thing as I never commanded or had in mind.”

3. In the New Testament it became synonimus with an abode of the damned, a place of torment, of unquenchable fire.(Mt. 5:29 – If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one of your members than to have your whole body thrown into Gehenna.  Mt.10: 28 – “And do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; rather, be afraid of the one who can destroy both soul and body in Gehenna.”

4. I understood that atoning for the sins of others was part of the package in order for them to receive His Mercy and an important aspect of how to follow Jesus as great servants! The chaplet of Mercy suggests it when we offer the Father the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Our Lord Jesus Christ in atonement for our sins. And it is followed with, “For the sake of His sorrowful passion (or His Cross), have mercy of us and the whole world.”

But on January 21, graces simply overwhelmed me… There is a special feast for this day: Our Lady of High Grace or Our Lady of Altagracia, one of two titles of Our Lady as patroness of the Dominican Republic, which shares the same island  with Haiti. Her picture appeared in the Dominican Republic in 1502, just before Our Lady of Guadalupe did in Mexico (1531) … This Island was called the Hispaniola and was where Columbus placed his feet for the first time in the Americas… She has a beautiful Basilica/Shrine in Higüey, a few hours from the capital city of Santo Domingo. I am sharing with you the story of Our Lady of the Altagracia (High Grace) in a “page” on the right of this site.

After breakfast and still raining cats and dogs in a State that hardly sees rain ever, the Holy Spirit started unraveling the gifts for this date. While saying the Rosary I suddenly understood that just as His love is given to me to be given away to others, the same I had to do with my crosses. Those crosses that I encounter through His divine mercy over me, they are full of graces for me and for others. However, I must apply them; I need to offer them up for others in atonement for their sins.  In other words, to be merciful to my neighbor also requires that as He did with His Cross, that I should willingly accept and offer my crosses to expiate for their sins (It was like a reaffirmation of BAMA)

This Thursday we had the Eucharist exposed in a chapel nearby the actual church building in my parish. I received His permission to drive in the busy expressway under this ominous weather and I left early to do a Holy Hour prior to noon Mass. Well, this morning of January 21 was not short in revelations, in epiphanies. The following is what I understood during my Holy Hour:

When I beg for mercy for my neighbor, I must love first the one (s) I am asking mercy for. But this is very hard for me, to feel love for everybody… Let me clarify that I do not hate people, but I have no particular love for some human beings. So, I was led to do the following   à   for those cases where I cannot feel love, when I enter my temple within, I must carry a baby in my arms, in images of course… Obviously, this baby looks similar to Baby Jesus who also rests in my temple. As I look at the baby in my arms, there is no doubt that I will have tender feelings for him/her, like any baby makes us feel, and then I  must label this baby as the representative of a group of people or person for whom I am begging His mercy. And sure enough, it was an easy way to feel some tenderness for whatever group or person.

Example: As I look at this baby and love him/her and make him/her represent those I want to pray for like the Catholic Church, or our separated Christian brothers and sisters, or our Moslem brothers and sisters, the poor in the world, women who have aborted, physicians who practice abortion on demand, the crowds in the stadiums, atheists, agnostics, fallen away Catholics, etc., I should pray for mercy in this way:

Father, I offer You the Eucharistic Jesus (equivalent to say “the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Lord Jesus Christ) and my crosses in atonement for the sins of this X group of people. For the sake of His sorrowful passion, have mercy on them.” Then, I should look up at the Jesus of Mercy up in the back wall of my temple and say, “Jesus I trust in You. Have mercy on this particular group”, and place the baby in my arms under the rays coming from His side, but all in great love. Otherwise, I would be a resounding gong!  If I am in Church, then I simply do the same but offer the baby to Him alive in the tabernacle or in the paten at the altar during Mass.

I remembered on this date that sure enough, some years back I had found myself doing  something similar without knowing at all why I was doing it for. There was a person who from time to time was very harsh with me, and one day after Communion, I saw this person in my arms in the form of a baby. I felt deep love for this baby and now in retrospect, this imagery convinced my right brain that I would excuse these negative traits because this baby was beautiful, always smiling! Well, from then on, I never resented for more than 5 minutes any harshness encountered from this friend of mine, since love can do all things! From then on, I would suddenly find this person and would only remember the smiling baby!

Remember that the right brain believes that images are true. I had explained this before but I will repeat it. The proof of this scientific fact can be checked in your own brains. If you close your eyes and imagine with detail that you are cutting a lemon, you will start salivating because your brain believes it is happening. Huh! But there is another truth imbedded in this argument: at one point, we all started as innocent fetuses and then babies, and we all were pure and beautiful; our good and bad traits of character were added later in our formative years. Therefore, we carry inside the vestiges of that innocent baby who wants to be loved and who is able to love back unconditionally!

At the end of this extraordinary understanding, I knew that the intercession from my Mother of Altagracia was behind it… I then moved to the main church for noon Mass. I asked what should I offer this Mass for and immediately felt drawn to offer it to honor my Mother in heaven. At the time of the offertory, I was summoned to bring all the ministerial priests to the paten and ask for mercy for them. So, I placed a baby representing them in the paten and at the Consecration, Mercy Himself, the Christ, was receiving this baby and showering him (them) with His mercy.

Lo and behold, at 4 PM my time, a vigil Mass “for life” prior to the following day’s walk, was celebrated LIVE at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, D.C, and I found a very spirited cardinal speaking of Jesus with so much emotion and enthusiasm, that he contaminated me with hope for a new Pentecost for our Priests in their year, since for God all things are possible. He said something profound – “Yes, the walk tomorrow is very important, but today let us set it apart for the time being, and let us fix our eyes on the banquet coming up at the altar!” As they processed out, and as the Priests passed by after the deacons, the whole congregation exploded in applause for them…  No doubt that the enthusiasm of this Bishop and main celebrant (his “broadcasting” of the Presence of the Crucified before His arrival at the altar of sacrifice) had summoned the Holy Spirit within the people of the congregation and moved them to applaud, a clear sign of love for them. No doubt that this broadcasting was a powerful tool in creating love among all of us! Wow!

January 25, 2010Feast of the Conversion of St.Paul of Tarsus. During the early morning while I was editing this blog for the third time under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I suddenly understood that I have not offered the blood of these martyrs who have lost their lives in the womb of their mothers. Ouch! At least, speaking about myself, it did not occur to me to remember that the blood of all martyrs is a powerful tool of conversion for others… and that I had failed to offer it up for the conversion of those who perpetrated their murders… In an instant I was thanking God for such epiphany. No one had taught me or reminded me of doing so… ever!

Then, I attended noon Mass and there, my Lord put it all together. If St. Paul converted in the midst of killing many Christians, all pro-choice or anti-life people could do the same through the power of the Blood of the Lamb and the blood of their victims, in a showcase or display of His mercy as He did with St. Paul. Wow! I even could hear Jesus talking to them and saying, “Why are you persecuting Me?”  But the exciting thing was to realize that if they convert, not only they are saved, but the abortion issue is dead. Another big wow!

Yet, my Lord was not done with me. At the offertory, I placed all “pro-choice” members of society in the world on the paten to meet Jesus soon after. Then came the Consecration, and that point, I suddenly felt the most profound love for all of them! A triple wow!  After Communion, I asked Him to have mercy on them and applied the blood of the martyrs (aborted babies) unto them, and I knew that this was the route for me to follow from now on. This idea of previous days to bring this baby unto my inner temple and offer it up on behalf of different groups sinners to receive His mercy, had graduated into further understanding of other spiritual tools to enhance their conversion.

FINAL THOUGHTS: This is the time of mercy and make no mistake about it!

In general, our temples are broken, in disarray, un-kept, and we honor our idols, mainly ourselves, but also our closest family and loved one in general, and we stop right there. Most of our prayers ask for “zero crosses” if possible. We want miracles of conversion in members of our families, but ask and knock without wanting to be true disciples who follow Jesus, which includes walking to Calvary daily with gusto! I keep wondering when is it that some of us are going to live this “WE ARE ONE BODY in Christ” and not just repeat it as a cute slogan. Personally, I have been committing a sin of omission for almost my entire life by not truly caring for my brothers and sisters, like those in Haiti. I feel that we cannot fix all these horrible things going on in the world… and that we should start tapping the POWER that can fix them at all levels.

We cannot keep re-arranging the chairs in the titanic with our human efforts. We must summon the big GUN  à  His mercy. And here there is an example: we Catholics have worked vehemently for the cause of “life” in the womb. 37 years later we do have fruits and many babies have been saved. Also, we have seen this heinous crime unite us Christians of all denominations and I would add that EWTN has been the “mercy of God” incarnate to help out in a very substantial irreplaceable way… Yet, we just elected the most “anti-life” President ever! Why? Because we still lag behind in recognizing the writings in the wall  à  that is, in the Scriptures. “His mercy” did it for the Israelites… Why not for us as well? We just have to conduct ourselves as true disciples and from hearts full of mercy for others, we should beg for God’s mercy day in and day out!  Bishop Salvatore Cordileone, my own Diocesan Bishop, said it very well, “The people of God has been caught asleep at the wheel.”

We are a very intelligent generation. Technology is simply beyond our human comprehension, and yet, we have a Bible, the story of Israel and its survival against powerful enemies with extraordinary miracles and the mercy of God amply revealed by name throughout, but we do not get it… Jesus, Mercy Himself, came to us as a Babe and remained with us in the Eucharist to help us for the asking, but we do not get it. He sent His Holy Spirit to empower us to do what was needed to cooperate in the saving of others but we do not get it. Then, He sent a humble nun to receive the revelation “all over again” about His mercy… and she wrote a diary on the subject matter, but still, we do not get it. Finally, He gave one Pope just a month in office to bring to the Chair of Peter, the holy Pope of Mercy, and we still do not get it… We do not get it because we do not trust in two things: 1) That He loves us to pieces. 2) That His mercy will win all our battles. What else can He do to hint us that the wounds in this world caused by division, hatred confusion, accusations, lies and fear, all from our famous enemy, the Devil, need to be treated with the medicine of His mercy, but we have to apply it and we can only apply this cure through love as He showed us while on earth!

St. Maria Faustina was told about a congregation that Jesus wanted together. She first thought that it was a regular Order of Nuns. Later, she wrote that she saw the congregation but without walls. We could become that Congregation… Otherwise, it does not make any sense that He told her about it. Yet, many of us understand about His mercy, but we remain diagnosing the problem correctly and over and over through all kinds of secular and religious programs, but we fail to understand that we need to move into the cure.  à  While keeping our inner temples clean and in constant ongoing restoration, we must love our neighbor and ask for His mercy for them and for ourselves, day in and day out… He can and will win our wars… Let’s do it…

First summons: I keep wondering if we truly had invoked His mercy with love for all women who were thinking on aborting their babies, if we have seen even Roe vs. Wade gone by now… Walks for life are very important, very and in so many aspects, but the supreme gift is to walk the walk of our inner conversion while we beg for His mercy out of true love for all. It is likely that we are full of Martha’s and short on Mary’s and we need both, because the power of evil so demands it. I am officially summoning my readers to start this “inner walk for life.” He is all ears… but He simply wants us as part of this ongoing endless circle of love… Sorry if I sound preaching to you, but guess what? Yes, I am preaching to you!

Second summons: This is our problem… We have to commit ourselves to lives of true interior change, just to become great beggars of His mercy… If we are good, we need to be super good. If we are super good, we need to ascend to Mount Carmel and become excellent. Just passing the beads with chaplets of mercy has not proven so far to be the answer to 37 years of killing of the innocents. No doubt that we have to change the tactics, and start doing “BAMA” NOW and it may lead us to save not only the babies, but the aborting mothers and the entire industry of abortion on demand! Let us use the shedding of the blood of these infants and let us understand that the easiest quickest way to stop abortion on demand is to ask for mercy and conversion of the enemies of these babies. When they convert, we have dealt effectively and hit Satan’s Achilles tendon…

Third summons: It amazed me how the entire world turned to help in Haiti’s tragedy… and we allow earthquakes to rock the wombs of mothers and crush babies at all stages of gestation. Let us choose to chase our crosses, not that we create more, but only receive the ones God wills or allows to atone for their sins and our sins, and use them to atone for our sin of not doing enough, not having enough faith that He can do all things if we live the Gospel in ways that are unique in our lives, and as we ask for His mercy to stop this massacre. And by the way, let’s put our Mom in front of this battle and call her day and night to intercede for this most important source of sin for our country.

Fourth summons: Please check the very end of the blog of December 30, 2008, and you will find the whole song “The Summons” but here is a reminder of how Jesus is talking to us:

 “Will you come and follow Me, if I but call your name? Will you go where you don’t know and never be the same? Will you let My love be shown? Will you let My life be grown in you and you in Me?” And I add, “Will we answer His call together, you and me?”

On January 27, I was led to review these Scripture passages and they speak volumes!

Rev. 12: 7-17. “Then war broke out in heaven; Michael and his angels battled against the dragon. The dragon and its angels fought back, but they did not prevail and there was no longer any place for them in heaven The huge dragon, the ancient serpent, who is called the Devil and Satan, who deceived the whole world, was thrown down to earth and its angels were thrown down with it.  

“Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: ‘Now have salvation and power come, and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Anointed. For the accuser of our brothers is cast out, who accuses them before our God day and night. They conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; love for life did not deter them from death. Therefore, rejoice, you heavens, and you who dwell in them. But woe to you, earth and sea, for the Devil has come down to you in great fury, for he knows he has but a short time.’

“When the dragon saw that it had been thrown to the earth, it pursued the woman, who had given birth to the male child. But the woman was given the two wings of the great  eagle, so that she could fly to her  place in the desert, where far from the serpent, she was taken care for a year, two years, and a half-year. The serpent, however, spewed a torrent of water out of his mouth after the woman to sweep her away with the current. But the earth helped the woman and opened its mouth and swallowed the flood that the dragon spewed out of its mouth. Then the dragon became angry with the woman and went off to wage war against the rest of her offspring, those who keep God’s commandment and bear witness to Jesus.”

Rev 14: 1-2b; 3- 5b; 6-9; 11-14. The First Beast. Then I saw a beast come out of the sea with ten horns and seven heads; on its horn were ten diadems, and on its heads blasphemous names. …To it the dragon gave its own power and throne, along with great authority. I saw that one of its heads seemed to have been mortally wounded, but this mortal wound was healed. Fascinated, the whole world followed after the beast. They worshiped the dragon because it gave its authority to the beast; they also worshiped the beast and said, ‘Who can compare with the beast or who can fight against it? … 

It (the beast) opened its mouth to utter blasphemies against God, blaspheming His name and His dwelling and those who dwell in heaven. It was allowed to wage war against the holy ones and conquer them, and it was granted authority over every tribe, people, tongue and nation. All the inhabitants of the earth will worship it, all whose names were not written from the foundation of the world in the book of life, which belongs to the Lamb who was slain. Whoever has ears ought to hear these words.

The Second Beast. Then I saw another beast come up out of the earth; it had two horns like a lamb’s but spoke like a dragon. It wielded all the authority of the first beast in its sight and made the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast, whose mortal wound had been healed. It performed great signs, even making fire come down from heaven to earth in the sight of everyone. It deceived the inhabitants of the earth with the signs it was allowed to perform in the sight of the first beast, telling them to make an image for the beast who had been wounded by the sword and revived. It was then permitted to breathe life into the beast’s image, so that the beast’s image could speak and have anyone who did not worship it put to death”.

P. S.

1) I thank you so much for your prayers during this past month! I am sure that it was your prayer that opened my eyes to “see” more from the lessons I received in 2002 and 2004; your prayers also helped me learn how to love those who destroy babies in the womb.

2) My body is still suffering from mercury intoxication. The symptoms were explained at length by Dr. Mehmet Oz on January 26, and it reconfirmed my health problems, until I finish my detoxification process. Please, keep me in your prayers, since I need to seek a chelation (removal) of metals treatment, and I am discerning where, with whom…!