1. Almsgiving – 2. A new way of practicing spiritual almsgiving while praying the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary 3. The brain and heart of the Body of Christ!

December 7, 2017

I write this blog to honor my Mother, under the titles of 1) Our Lady of Guadalupe -December 12 and 2) Our Lady Untier of Knots – December 8th, for her to be with me as the Holy Spirit directs me to share these stories, but also to give her thanks for being the best Mother in every sense… “I love you Mom.”

It seems to me that these last 4 weeks have been simply extraordinary in my understanding of practicing spiritual almsgiving as a disciple. I am amazed… Perhaps this is a great introduction for me to celebrate the 2017 Advent in a brand new way… You shall be the judge but perhaps, your prayers for me are truly spiritual bomb shells… Thank you. I will have to type bunches and you will need time to go over the long dissertation of how I must live the act of almsgiving. Sorry! I am posting this blog rather late but my eyes are getting worse and worse regarding their use in typing several pages!

Besides the three topics announced above, there will be some teaching for me during this difficult time of transition for us as we move to Alabama. I will relate all according the calendar sequence. But first, let me start with a review of what almsgiving is all about and types of it. You may know the subject matter very well but the Lord has insisted in reviewing it for those who do not know all the details of this merciful act, just like me!

I. Almsgiving


ALMS noun (used with a singular or plural verb) means:

1. Money, food, or other donations given to the poor or needy

2. Anything given as charity.



Not found in the Old Testament, but repeated in the New. The Mosaic legislation (Leviticus 25:35; Deuteronomy 15:7) tended to promote a spirit of charity, and to prevent the occurrence of destitution among the people. Such passages as these, Psalms 41:1; 112:9; Proverbs 14:31; Isaiah 10:2; Amos 2:7; Jeremiah 5:28; Ezekiel 22:29 would also naturally foster the same benevolent spirit.

In the time of our Lord begging was common (Mark 10:46; Acts: 3:2). The Pharisees were very ostentatious in their almsgiving (Matthew 6:2). The spirit by which the Christian ought to be actuated in this duty is set forth in 1 John 3:17. A regard to the state of the poor and needy is enjoined as a Christian duty (Luke 3:11; 6:30; Matthew 6:1; Acts 9:36; 10:2; 10:4), a duty which was not neglected by the early Christians (Luke 14:13; Acts 20:35; Galatians 2:10; Romans 15:25-27; 1 Corinthians 16:1-4). They cared not only for the poor among themselves, but contributed also to the necessities of those at a distance (Acts 11:29; 24:17; 2 Corinthians 9:12). Our Lord and his attendants showed an example also in John 13:29.

In modern times the "poor-laws" have introduced an element which modifies considerably the form in which we may discharge this Christian duty.

Alms and Almsgiving

Any material favor done to assist the needy and prompted by charity is almsgiving. It is evident, then, that almsgiving implies much more than the transmission of some temporal commodity to the indigent. According to the creed of political economy, every material deed wrought by man to benefit his needy brother is almsgiving. According to the creed of Christianity, almsgiving implies a material service rendered to the poor for Christ’s sake. Materially, there is scarcely any difference between these two views; formally, they are essentially different. This is why the inspired writer says: "Blessed is he that considers the lowly and the poor" (Psalm 40:2) — not he that gives to the needy and the poor.

The obligation of almsgiving is complementary to the right of property “which is not only lawful, but absolutely necessary" (Encycl., Rerum Novarum, tr. Baltimore, 1891, 14). Ownership admitted, rich and poor  must be found in society. Property enables its possessors to meet their needs. Though labor enables the poor to win their daily bread, accidents, illness, old age, labor difficulties, plagues, war, etc. frequently interrupt their labors and impoverish them. The responsibility of succoring, those thus rendered needy belongs to those who have plenty(St. Thomas  Summa Theol., II-II, Q. xxxii, art. 5, ad 2am), For "it is one thing to have a right to possess money, and another to have a right to use money as one pleases." How must one’s possessions be used?

The Church: “Man should not consider his external possessions as his own but as common to all, so as to share them without difficulty when others are in need.”

 Whence the Apostle says: “Command the rich of this world to give with ease. This is a duty not of justice (except in extreme cases), but of Christian charity — a duty not enforced by human law. But the laws and judgments of men must yield to the laws and judgments of Christ the true God, who in many ways urges on His followers the practice of almsgiving.” (Encyclical, Rerum Novarum, 14, 15; cf. De Lugo, De Jure et Justitiâ, Disp. Xvi, sect. 154).

The Fathers of the Church frequently and unequivocally inculcated the necessity of almsgiving.

  • To this matter St. Cyprian devoted a complete treatise (De Opere et Eleemosynâ, P.L., IV, 601 sqq.).
  • St. Basil recounts how St. Lawrence distributed the treasures of the Church to the poor. Questioned by a pagan governor regarding the treasures which he had promised to transmit, Lawrence pointed to the poor, saying: “They are treasures in who is Christ, in who is faith.”
  • Contrary to the envy of the Arians, St. Ambrose lauds the breaking and selling of sacred vessels for the redemption of captives (De Officis  Ministrorum, xxviii, xxx, P.L., XVI, 141 sqq.).
  • The more effectively to urge the precept of almsgiving, the Fathers teach that the wealthy are God’s stewards and dispensers, so much so that where they refuse to aid the needy they are guilty of theft (St. Basil, Homil. in illud Lucæ, No. 7, P.G., XXXI, 278;St. Gregory of Nyssa, De Pauperibus Amandis, P.G., XLVI, 466; St. Chrysostom, in Ep. I ad Cor., Homil. 10, c. 3, P.G., LXI, 86; St. Ambrose, De Nab. lib. unus, P.L., XIV, 747; St. Augustine, in Ps. cxvii, P.L., XXXVII, 1922).
  • Discretion in almsgiving is counseled in the ApostolicConstitutions: "Alms must not be given to the malicious, the intemperate, or the lazy; lest a premium should be set on vice" (Const. Apost., ii, 1-63; iii, 4-6).
  • St. Cyprian asserts that adherents of other religions must not be excluded from a share in Catholic charity (De Opere et Eleemosynâ, c. xxv, P.L., IV, 620).

After the Patristic epoch the teaching of the Church regarding almsgiving did not vary throughout the ages. Aquinas has admirably summarized this teaching during the medieval period (St.Thomas, Summa Theol., II-II, QQ. xxx-xxxiii, De Misericordiâ; De Beneficentiâ; De Eleemosynâ). No writer of modern times has so admirably epitomized the position of the Church as Leo XIII (Encyclicals, Rerum Novarum, 15 May, 1891; Graves de Communi, 18 Jan, 1901). In so much as the obligation of almsgiving is coextensive with the obligation of charity, everyone falls under the law. The donor, however, must be entitled to dispose of what he contributes, because almsgiving usually implies that the beneficiary acquires a title to whatever his benefactor gives. Ecclesiastics are bound in a special way to observe the precept of almsgiving, because they are constituted fathers of the poor, and are besides obliged by their example to lead the laity to entertain correct views concerning the importance of this duty.

As a general rule, the indigent of every class, saint or sinner, countrymen or foreigners, friend or foe, have their claims upon the charity of those competent to give alms (Proverbs 25:21; Romans 1220; Sylvius, Summa, II-II, Q. 32: art. 9; De Conninck, Disp. 27:Dub. 6, No. 70). The conjunction of genuine indigence in the poor and ability to minister relief in the rich, is necessary to concrete the obligation of alms-giving (St. Thomas, op. cit., II-II, QQ. xxxii, art. 5, ad 3am).

Qualities of spiritually fruitful almsgiving

In addition to its innate characteristics, almsgiving should be vested with qualities tending to garner fruitfulness for giver and receiver. Hence, almsgiving should be discreet, so as to reach deserving individuals or families (2 Thessalonians 3:10; Sirach 12); prompt, so as to warrant opportuneness (Proverbs 3:28); secret and humble (Matthew 6:2); cheerful (2 Corinthians 9:7); abundant (Tobit 4:9; St. Thomas, Summa Theol., II-II, Q. xxxii, art. 10).

The harvest of blessings to be reaped by almsgiving amply suffices to inspire noble-minded Christians "to make unto themselves friends of the Mammon of iniquity". First of all, almsgiving renders the donor like unto God Himself (Luke 6:30, 36); even more, it renders God Himself debtor to those giving alms (Matthew 25:40 sqq). Moreover, almsgiving adds special efficacy to prayer (Tobit 4:7); tends to appease divine wrath (Hebrews 13:16); liberates from sin and its punishment (Sirach 29), and thus paves the way to the gift of faith (Acts 10:31). Daily experience proves that those lending a helping hand to stay the miseries of the poor frequently prepare the way for the moral reformation of many whose temporal misery pales before their spiritual wretchedness. Finally, almsgiving tends to guard society against turbulent passions whose fury is often checked by almsgiving. (End)


Monday, November 6

After praying the Rosary, my Mother indicated that I had to learn something in Scripture and to call the Holy Spirit for His teaching. I did and I was sent to open the Bible in its third section. As I did, I ended up with my fingers in two different pages.

Isaiah 58:4 – Here the prophet speaks of what God wanted, to give alms like feeding the poor, etc. The other reading was, Matthew 6 also about almsgiving… Wow! I was told that this would be the topic for this blog… I was mesmerized since I usually get the topic until much later in the month and this was the day after posting the October blog. 

On this day, I also learned about the upcoming Mass in Detroit, MI on Sunday November 18 to declare Venerable Francis Solanus Casey a Blessed… I know this now Blessed very well. I arrived in Detroit many years ago to start my training in a medical specialty after my graduation from medical school. I heard several times of the then Father Solanus. Between 2003 and 2008 while I was waiting to leave Toledo, OH (about 75 miles south of Detroit) in route to California, I ended up going to visit the convent where he lived part of his life and where he died. At the time I took a couple of friends from Toledo and we had a great time visiting his tomb.

Nowadays, I have his large picture in one of my 2 altars in my bedroom and also receive a twice a year publication: THE FATHER SOLANUS CASEY NEWSLETTER and that comes from his center in Detroit. http://www.solanuscenter.orghttp://www.solanuscasey.org

It is interesting because this place now is a place of almsgiving. They feed the poor on a daily basis… In hindsight, I can see God sticking to this theme of giving alms. Amazing!

Wednesday, November 8

I keep gaining weight and several times a month, I have only one meal a day because I am not hungry. The rest of the time, I only have two meals a day…I have not had three meals daily in at least 2-3 years. Of course, my internal toxicity is growing and this proves to me that in some of us the source of obesity comes from toxics… Amazing discovery! I realized that even that I would love to die since I have no attachment to this earth whatsoever, I am called to live as long as He wants me to, in order 1) to finish the book telling of my discoveries shown to me by the Lord and that are super important to reverse dementia, prevent some types of depression, etc., and 2) to write these blogs, a way to proclaim His mercy on a monthly basis, and this is an act of almsgiving, to stay here just to serve others. I did not see it that way prior to this month of November!  I then started to put together my present call to give alms in this way for His glory and for the good of others. It made sense that I had been led to find two different parts in the Bible speaking of giving alms.

I learned that another form of almsgiving is to patiently wait for a solution to my health issues, because this is not the time as yet for some neighbors to process the deep belief on the mercy of Jesus for all of us. This truth cannot be imposed on his/her free will. There is extra time needed and my sacrifice/suffering can increase the graces necessary for a change of hearts needed in my neighbor. I can participate in my neighbor’s evangelization even if I do not know exactly the person (s) who is in need of God’s message. This is all part of spiritual almsgiving!!!

At all times we all have been sent to make disciples of all nations and do what  Jesus did, to offer His life for our salvation. Evangelization is one of the most important forms of spiritual almsgiving that we can render….!!!! We have to make disciples. (This was repeated in the future Mass of November 30… I also received precisely this message at the site where St. Margaret Mary had the apparitions with messages of the Sacred Heart of Jesus at Paray-le-Monial, France. As I passed by in 2003, a nun was giving the visitors a piece of paper with a verse from the Bible. Mine said that I would be fishing souls….!)

Friday, November 10

2:45 PM – I was not sure if I should do something in my house and asked the Holy Spirit to tell me yes or not to it…I prayed in tongues. He sent me to open the Bible and right in the upper verses I found the word “yes”. It was Ezekiel 28:3. Every time that He shows me a “yes” in Scripture, it truly amazes me… It shows me how diligently His Spirit guides me!

5 PM: There was a program in EWTN/Spanish showing an area in the Andes, Peru where a community of Sisters, some seminarians formed in Spain and lay people from other countries who have arrived to aid impoverished and abandoned children with incapacities. The nuns visited homes and told them that sanctity was also for them. The Order is called Missionary Sisters Servants of the Poor. Their call is to serve Christ in the children. It has members from the entire world!

The lay couples are called “missionary couples” and one family with 3 children moved to Peru from France. They left everything to come to help the poor and seeking holiness/sanctity for themselves. The parents serve as teachers and also give professional formation besides school teaching. This latter service facilitates for the older children to find jobs to pursuit normal lives without extreme poverty. One of the couples said this, “We give them at a human level. We receive at a divine level that provides for us in every way.”

Sunday, November 12

2 PM – LIVE opening Mass of the USCCB for the fall meeting in Baltimore. I prayed for all of them.

On this day a major earthquake 6.7 hit Costa Rica near the Pacific Ocean… I remember some temblors while being in grade school. My country is accustomed to them!

Monday, November 13

7 AM: the first day of meetings of the USCCB. A video was shown where the Archbishop of the Archdiocese of Panama, in Panama, Jose Domingo Ulloa Mendieta spoke of their preparation for the World Youth Day’s  celebration of January 22-27, 2019. It was a very nice moment for me since I lived in that country for 7 years and the Panamanians paid for my studies in their University, a medical school and extraordinary teacher for us future physicians, as I found out when I came to the United States. Most of my teachers had been trained in the U.S. and Europe. I only kept a high score average and they gave me scholarships year after year… Without this medical preparation, I could not have solved my problem of dementia and since one of my most beloved organs was the brain (I became a neuro-anesthesiology)! Please pay attention to how God prepare our lives to serve others. If we do not, well, we are truly failures at alms giving!!!

While cooking my hard boiled eggs (my only source of protein), I thought of the pain they give since I am allergic to the white and yellow. Allergy to the yellow part is worse and that is why I only eat the white. I heard a voice within me saying, “Trust that all will be well. All your suffering is for the love of your brothers and sisters. Seeking their salvation it is an act of almsgiving.”

3:45 PM (Hour of Mercy). I understood that Our Lady after her “yes” to God, which was a way to love Him, 1) she ran to help her cousin Elizabeth, in this way obeying the two most important commandments… This was almsgiving at its best since it did involve sacrifice because she did not know how St. Joseph would react to her story that the Holy Spirit had impregnated her with the Messiah King. It would have looked like this 15 year old girl was crazy. Yet, she did it… She trusted in Yahweh and He fixed the problem with Joseph through a dream. It taught me that an act of almsgiving have a great priority.

Besides this story, 2) she also showed another act of almsgiving by asking her Son to provide for more wine at the wedding of Cana.  3) She also stayed for some 20 years after the violent death of her Son to become a holy companion to His disciples, who started evangelizing as they were persecuted as well.

Also on this date, and after a series of recent unbelievable acts of destruction of life, there was another shooting in a grade school in Tehama, CA, 150 miles north of Sacramento. 10 people were killed including children.

Thursday, November 16

I prayed my second Rosary at 12:30 PM. Shortly after I heard the following message:

“To live a perfect present moment is to say a perfect “yes”; to live a perfect present moment, you must anticipate and refuse any worry of what is going on! Even if you have much to clean and choose to do for the upcoming move when pain in your knees is unbearable, you should never worry regarding how you will do it. God will give you the graces necessary to do as much or as little according to His will for each present moment. You must practice this complete confidence in divine providence as a must to achieve holiness.  Always remember that this is another opportunity to intercede for others with your suffering.

“At all times, suffering and evangelization are the rock to save souls, and only God knows the plan for you and them. Also remember that you are a servant of the Lord offering to do His will as a worker for the Kingdom. Day and night keep remembering these words and act accordingly. This is the program of self denial because you are picking up your crosses (by your yes to the suffering without worrying or fear of what it intends to do). It is a gift by doing it to the major glory of God in order to let the Holy Spirit show you what to do in the next present moment. It is a way of following Jesus. It is the training you need to become a true disciple, which means to be blessed with the gifts of the Holy Spirit to bring others to love God at every present moment.

3 PM: the program above seems difficult. It is not! Your acceptance of each present moment events avoiding all possible worries will bring all the power you need. If you, on the contrary, keep worrying as to how to do it and trying to remember what steps to take versus just accepting each moment as perfect as it can be, you will become confused, doubting and finally afraid. Satan will work in tempting you with the fear of not being able to do it. Repeating, it all starts with total trust that yes, each present moment whether ordained or allowed by God, is full of the Holy Spirit resources to defeat all temptations from the evil one.

“Many will spend time in remembering what to do, but there is ONLY ONE THING TO DO: to trust (faith without fear) in God’s love, and this trust is practiced by loving God back, that is to say “yes” to His will at each present moment no matter what. With this determined and solid  “yes” not only you love God but His Holy Spirit will lead you through His graces to GIVE ALMS, whether physical (like money) or spiritual because you are letting the Holy Spirit lead you to bring your  brothers and sisters to eternal salvation. This form of living is the best form of thanksgiving for His love and mercy for you and to be passed on to your neighbor.”

Friday, November 17

The life of Venerable Solanus Casey was aired in EWTN, one day before his becoming Blessed in the Archdioceses of Detroit, MI. It was celebrated by Archbishop Vigneron of this city and he was the one that was serving my present Diocese of Oakland in 2008 when I arrived here. What a small world!

The now Blessed Solanus was born in Wisconsin and his name was Bernard Casey. He entered the seminary for the Capuchin Order in 1896 and was given the name of Francis Solanus Casey. He was ordained on July 25, 1904 without permission of hearing confessions or preaching because the formation received in seminary was in Latin or German and he did not know them. In time he was sent to Yonkers, NY, to the Sacred Heart parish. In 1907 his job was that of a porter. He was moved again in 1918 and 1921. Many people started seeking him.

In 1923 he was moved to Detroit and he started keeping a journal. Many miracles were granted when he was sought to pray for different people. He died on July 31,1957. Years later, his body was found incorrupt.

Tuesday, November 21

During the 6:30 PM Rosary via EWTN, I found myself crying during the first mystery because Jesus looked so alone in Gethsemane. How much I wished to be there with Him. Then, I heard the following:

“Every time that you help any of My children, you are accompanying Me as if it were in Gethsemane. So, you can still console Me. Offer this mystery for yourself that you often serve your brothers and sisters (almsgiving) in order to console Me for those who do not do so.”

Second Sorrowful Mystery:

“When you see Me being scourged, think of all who are doing so now by mistreating my creatures. With this decade pray for their salvation.”

Third Sorrowful Mystery

“Every time that you see Me crowned with thorns, remember all those of my children who at that precise moment are doing the same to Me with their thoughts full of fears, lack of trust in My love and mercy for them; with their eyes watching or reading pornographic material; with their ears paying attention to those who hate Me; with their mouth while speaking messages of hatred against Me or mine! Pray for their salvation as an act on your part of spiritual almsgiving.

Fourth Sorrowful Mystery

“Every time that you see Me carrying the cross and needing the help from Simon the Cyrene, think of all the ministerial Priests and members of religious Orders who are supposed to be my helpers by accepting all the sacrifices needed for evangelization, especially witnessing holy lives but they do not do it! With this mystery pray for them. You be my Cyrene by forgiving them and becoming an example for them to ease their hard lives of ministry.”

Fifth Sorrowful Mystery

“Every time that you see pictures of my crucifixion which I accepted for all of you to become children of My Father in heaven, accept your own suffering as a form of crucifixion for those who ignore Me or still persecute Me in the many whom they kill for being my followers. Offer this mystery for them to understand how much I love them.”

As I finished this particular Rosary, I was mesmerized as to how much I can do for the Kingdom with just the Sorrowful Mysteries. The worse part for me was to realize how poor my power of prayer has been through the years…with just offering the Rosary mysteries for my brothers and sisters without paying attention to His suffering right now in His images, and my lack of consolation for Jesus. His crucifixion is still going on daily! It was clear that to pray the Rosary in this way is a form of spiritual almsgiving in both ways: it consoles Him and it seeks the salvation of His enemies.

Thursday, November 23

On this Thanksgiving feast, I started to daily say a prayer that St. Padre Pio used to pray when he was asked to intercede for someone in particular. It has 3 mysteries composed of 5 beads and calling the Sacred Heart of Jesus to answer the needs of those who had requested his prayers. Out of the blue, I hardly had any discomfort in my knees despite eating egg whites. I considered it a sign from heaven and to call this great Saint to pray for me.

This special chaplet had arrived in the mail at the same time that I had found in EWTN/Spanish the first part of the life of St. Pio. He endured horrible persecution from his own confreres who even said that this Saint had a lover! She was only a follower of him, like many others. The wounds in his hands were considered self inflicted in order to call the attention of many. I then recalled my many forms of persecution and wondered how I survived them. I thanked my God for being with me through those sufferings and for having survived them without any leftover resentment against my persecutors.

Friday, November 24

The readings for the Mass had to do with Jesus entering the Temple and throwing out all those merchants that were doing business inside it. He reminds them that this place was a house of prayer.

Shortly after the homily from EWTN Mass, I understood something that I had not thought about it before. We know that ALL OF US ARE TEMPLES OF THE HOLY SPIRIT the moment we are baptized. Therefore, we must take the Words of Jesus seriously and keep praying in our inner temple instead of having sins of any kind occupy it. We should use our temple for prayer. We cannot spend time in our temple wasting it and not witnessing how we are constantly seeking holiness and how to become true disciples. Daily we should stop and inspect how we live within our Temple of the Holy Spirit! We should repent as many times as necessary and worship the Lord in the power of His Spirit to deny ourselves as we embrace our crosses and love our neighbor as best as we can. The Lord will do the rest to make us warriors for the Kingdom.

I must confess that I always have acknowledged being a temple of the Holy Ghost but that is it… I did not act on this truth at all and live in His presence within me and inspect the ways that I may be using it, that is not giving glory to God. This is the kind of disciple that I am, one very dumb! I realized how important has been to have been persecuted in order to purify and clean my inner temple. I thanked Him for the gifts of persecution.

On this same date of November 24, I understood why we are acting like dummies ignoring our temples, especially among us Roman Catholic worshipers… The negative consequences that follow are many. Here are some examples:

1. In our modern world, we use plastic materials for everything. Water and drink of all kinds come in plastic bottles and these plastic is supposed to be safe for us and are labeled as  # 1 and 2. #3 is not so safe. #4 and 5 are not to be used for food. You can see it at the bottom of the container and the number is within a small triangle. It happens that all plastic materials including those that we recycle break up in small pieces and end up in the ocean. All plastic material attracts toxics and fish swallow them. They end up in our plates when we eat the fish and we are getting worse polluted even that we started with safe plastic bottles. Even some clothing has micro plastics and upon washing the clothes they also end up in the ocean for the fish and eventually our tummies.

2. Thanksgiving to God feast was mixed with great sales followed by “black” Friday… and in 2017, 2.8 billion dollars were spent in the U.S. On “black” Saturday, $3 million more were spent in preparation for Christmas.

3. In an Egyptian mosque, 235 worshipers were killed. The aggressors had closed all possible escape routes and even ambulances that came to treat the wounded, were attacked. These worshipers were members of a Sufi religious group, those that spend time in contemplation.

4. A London subway was also attacked.

5. I must add that thousands of fetuses were being killed with abortion on demand.

If you add all these calamities, we ALL MUST START PRAYING IN OUR INNER TEMPLES DAY AND NIGHT, just as Jesus did 2000 years ago. Wouldn’t this be a very special call for the year 2018? AND this would be a huge form of almsgiving…

Sunday, November 26 – Feast of Christ the King

MAJOR TOPIC – I prayed two Rosaries with EWTN/Spanish (4 AM) and English (4:30). During these Rosaries I understood one of the most extraordinary topics I ever heard… It was all brand new to me. Here it is:

I understood that in general we believe the soul is in our heart, an organ always considered the source of love. We hear say, “I love you with all my heart!” In our human bodies, the heart is necessary and indispensable to keep us alive… However, there is another organ which is very important: our brain. This organ is the source of feeding our heart. It is in the brain where we feel hungry and receive orders to move our arms/hands to bring food to our mouth. In the mouth we have nerve endings to appreciate the flavor of the food. We also depend on the brain to order the mouth to masticate the food. We need the brain for the food 1) to be processed and taken apart into nutrients (essential amino acids) and vitamins, 2) to be absorbed by the blood vessels in the gut and 3) and for the gut to have nerve endings to eventually get rid of parts of the food not necessary for our nutrition,

Well, the important point here about the heart is that THE BRAIN for its survival IS TOTALLY DEPENDENT ON THE HEART to pump the blood with the nutrients that the brain had ordered to be processed and absorbed in the gut,. So, just as the heart needs the nutrients processed by the brain for its contractions, thereabout 60-100 times a minute (extraordinary work from the muscles forming the heart), the brain is totally dependent on also receiving the nutrients via the blood sent by the heart through many arteries. The brain is also able to supervise the electricity that gives life to the liver, pancreas, to our muscles to walk, to run, to sit, to lay down, etc…

Here is the most fascinating part of this understanding: there is a very close relationship from the moment we became formed in the womb of our mothers between heart and brain. The brain actually represents the LAITY. The heart represents the Magisterium. Together they form the BODY OF CHRIST! They are ONE! There is no survival of our relationship with the Holy Trinity if both are not considered dependent on one another for the salvation of every creature in the universe.

The HEART of the Body of Christ, made up by Priests and religious is needed in two ways. The religious members provide love with prayer, catechesis and almsgiving in all its forms. The Ministerial Priests provide the BODY AND BLOOD OF JESUS to sustain the spiritual brain of the laity plus the other Sacraments for the brain/laity to become Temples of the Holy Spirit. The brain/laity keeps the Body of Christ working with the spiritual nutrients necessary to make it one, united Body. They help the heart with love, respect, witness of holy lives, holy lives that could not be obtained without the heart’s bringing Jesus to them. Of course, the HEART OF THE BODY OF CHRIST must be healthy just as is needed in every human being. The route (arteries) that connects the heart and the brain must also be healthy. The spiritual arteries are represented by the Vatican, parish life, EWTN, different ministries, etc. that seek the formation of holy lives of both organs.

Both heart and brain must live accepting this inter dependence because either spiritual organ cannot do it on its own. Both need the graces of the other. Both must seek to live holy lives in order to keep the Body of Christ functioning at its maximum. If one organ becomes sickly, the other organ will end up also sickly. Otherwise the heart will not be able to bring spiritual food to the brain and the latter may eventually become paralyzed (similar to a stroke) and will poorly process the food that the heart needs for its holy functioning.

PRAYER is a powerful medication that helps both organs to work as ONE and be able to conquer the lost sheep to fill up entirely the Body of Christ. Therefore, besides prayer SUFFERING of any kind and magnitude is necessary to purify both organs to grow and accept the inter dependence of both, destroying in this way the potential to give Satan any power so that he cannot attack our self denial, the carrying of our crosses and the perfect following of Jesus.

To see it in another way, without saying “yes” to all suffering, the inter dependence of heart/brain is lost because the heart cannot extract the most important food for its sustenance, that is the witness of a healthy brain and vice versa.

So, prayer, suffering and a sense of duty to live lives dependent on perfect love between the brain and the heart are the holy darts that penetrate the Body of Christ the King to take us by the hand into the home of His Father, while each one of us bring others behind that come to be companions for this journey of LOVE, where we all are ONE in Jesus.

On the following Thursday, December 7, I received more ideas on the subject matter above. I am adding them right here because it makes sense to keep the topic together. Now it seems to me that the Lord was insisting that I should truly learned these ideas and repeated some of them. So, here it is:

The new  knowledge about the brain and the heart of the Body of Chris, taught me that members of the brain (laity) must look after the heart in order to contribute to the health of the Body and vice versa. When a human heart has an infarct (a heart attack), the pumping of blood (which carries the graces coming from the Sacraments provided by the Ministerial Priesthood) is inadequate and the brain WILL SUFFER FROM LACK OF SPIRITUAL OXGEN. It is then that the brain (laity) will become distracted, dizzy, confused up to the possibility of suffering a stroke, etc.

To avoid this disaster, we members of the brain must take good care of the heart, sickly or not, and become patient without resenting the heart since without its proper function we could not grow in our relationship with Jesus. We can do it by realizing that we can pray many hours for the Body of Christ at large and for the heart itself to grow in holiness. We also can offer all our sufferings for this to happen.

It is in these times that Our Lady offers her maternal spiritual womb to carry us during the struggles of both the heart and brain of the Body of her Son. As we work in a unified way for the good of the other organ, we start to shine and attract those who are lost. Of course, at all times, both organs must say “yes” to whatever we must do and suffer! It is then that the Holy Spirit will get involved in this process and many souls can also be saved!

IN ALL, THE BEST ACT OF ALMSGIVING is for the brain and heart to take care of one another, and in doing so, to sanctify the Body of Christ. Not doing it invites the evil one to divide us even further and many members of both organs will leave. There is no time to keep looking at what is going on and write books about it with possible solutions. THE BASIC PROBLEM is clear. THE CALL IS TO LOVE AS WE PRAY FOR EACH OTHER and to call the Holy Spirit to take over with our “yes” to God’s will. This is the best and merciful spiritual almsgiving and the BEST GIFT FOR BABY JESUS.

It is also the best way to celebrate Christmas. The Baby is hungry for our love. Let’s feed this hungry Child. He wants His bottle full of our “yes” to His will, that is our love for Him and for each other. He will smile to us after being fed with His own essence, LOVE. Then we can pick Him up and take Him everywhere we go in order to feed other members of His Body.

Monday, November 27

For all my life I have been confused when I and others pray: “Come Holy Spirit, enlighten my heart to see the things that are of God. Come Holy Spirit into my mind to know the things that are of God. Come Holy Spirit into my soul that I may belong only to God.” Why should I call the Holy Spirit when He is already in my Temple? Also, since my Father knows what I need, why should I ask for it?

On this day I received the following explanation and please remember that I am not a theologian: “The Father knows what you need but at all times you must say, ‘yes’ to My will precisely by inviting Me to do so. When you pray, come Holy Spirit, this ‘come’ does not refer to My actual arrival to your soul since I have been there since your Baptism and repeated at your Confirmation. ‘Come’ means that you are saying yes to My will. Even that I reside in your temple, you have a free will to invite Me to proceed with your guidance or not.”

 Again, this explanation helped me much and sorry for those who may think this theology is not so… For me, it has been great to pray “come Holy Spirit” and I sense that I am saying to Him, “yes”, I am asking for Your  will to be done.

On his same day I saw part number 2 of the life of Padre Pio in EWTN-Spanish. Because he used to celebrate Mass in 3 hours, he was ordered not to celebrate Mass with laity around. He could not hear confession not could he get out of the monastery. His best companion Capuchin was sent to another State. All of this provoked that many of the laity did not have a Mass around the monastery where Padre Pio was living, and had to walk a long distsance to attend Mass. At one point in his life, he was able to get money to build a hospital to help those who could not pay for medical service. Other group of Capuchins needed money for some project where they lived and they came and asked Padre Pio for the money he had to build the hospital. When he refused, a new war was started against him. Padre Pio said that it was the work of Satan, one that he encountered as a ferocious dog since he was a child.

Tuesday, November 28

I woke up with a huge headache that was not getting better with any pain medicine. I started reminiscing on the life of St. Pio and wondered if it would be this Saint that could provide the intercession to the Throne of Mercy to help me with my health. I need to publish the book with the several things I have found out and that I have mentioned before, and with my eyesight getting so bad (as the toxicity augments living here), I can see that I need a miracle to finish the book. I suddenly prayed to this Saint: “Would you send me a sign if it is the will of God that I should regularly seek your intercession. May the sign be, to stop my headache even for a few minutes?”

 Sure enough, for full 15minutes it disappeared… Well, my question was amply answered. Of course, Saint Pio was extraordinary against the evil one and I know Satan has been after me several times for my many persecutions. So, as of now, I am praying the daily chaplet that he prayed for others and that I mentioned at the beginning of this blog.

Saturday, December 2

The TV showed a 2014 movie in a Hispanic channel titled, “For greater glory.” In the 1920’s when the Catholic Church was attacked by the Mexican government, many were killed for following Christ the King. The program was hard to watch… The victims were called Cristeros and among themselves they would ask in Spanish, “Quien Vive?” They would answer. “Viva Cristo Rey,” which means, “Who is alive?” The answer was, “Long live Christ the King.”  The recent feast of Christ the King should have an extra meaning for us in the Americas! Many died, including many Priests because they wanted to follow Him!

Monday, December 4

The proper work of the Body of Christ is distorted to some extent with the  excessive use of the Internet. It was reported on this day that 781 billion texts are sent each month. It is incredible that this constant communication will distract us from any form of prayer in our inner temple… Jesus is finding our lives totally dependent on what the other is thinking. And then we complain of what is going on in the world!  No, the truth is: what is going on with ourselves?

Tuesday, December 5

I found in EWTN/Spanish a full two hours on the life of St. Juan Diego. I had watched it last year and wrote about it in a blog. To repeat, a Priest and a Bishop came to review the encounter of this Saint with our Lady of Guadalupe. From 1492 to 2017, this lay man still makes a super interesting person to know well. Our Lady came to Mexico and thank God she did… The religious persecution against the Catholic Church in the first half of the 1900’s was unbelievable like the 2014 movie mentioned above showed. Satan was furious and without her, Mexico could be another Russia. Still, the narco-trafficants live there and send drugs to this country. Yet, every December 12th millions come to visit Our Lady at Tepeyac. She is still a source of spiritual almsgiving for the Americas.

St. Juan Diego was chosen to be the spokesman for Our Lady. He was canonized by Saint John Paul II on July 3, 2002, three years before his demise and his feast day is December 9. In the program of two hours on his life, they showed the canonization ceremony and Mass at the Basilica and it was simply unbelievable to see the crowds gathering there.

On this day I received a piece of mail from Planned Parenthood. They wanted me to belong to them and sent me a card with my name as a member. They reminded me of my need of its existence to defend my rights for my health. I answered that I was only interested in defending the rights of the babies in the womb that are killed. I blessed them and told them that I pray for them daily and I do! Years ago, I had placed their name in the community Rosary. I truly love them now. In the past, I did resent them big time. Not any more… This is the work of the Holy Spirit in my temple within. This proves how God can work in our souls…


We are concluding another year on this earth! It is time to pay attention to what we need to do different in the care of our inner Temples. I have discussed this topic in one way or the other and yet, these are only words. The time is calling us to truly turn around our lives and pray without ceasing. We have to be opened to God’s will like never before without any fear or complaint. HOWEVER, IT IS IMPORTANT TO ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT GOD CAN DO IT FOR US; we do not have to find ways to do it… I see a tendency to constantly come up with plans of action for whatever spiritual changes we are called to do… It will never work… We only have to diagnose our spiritual status and call the Holy Spirit to take over, and as said before, it means to say “yes” to what the Spirit leads us to change and do it.

I have experienced this change through the years. In the past, I would attend all kind of conferences and retreats to hear about how to do the changes… At least for me, it never worked. I would come out of each event full of enthusiasm with great plans to do what I had heard; unfortunately, a few weeks later, I would have forgotten to work at it on a daily basis. THE ONLY THING I HAD TO DO was to pray enough, and to be determined to call the Holy Spirit to do the changes necessary in my soul, mind and heart… by saying “yes” to His will, regardless of the suffering involved. He then would give me the endurance, knowledge, wisdom and the rest of His gifts for me to follow His direction. From time to time, I would find out how changed I was. For example, the fact that I never missed the close relatives who died, proves to me of the Spirit’s graces being given. I was Baptized in Him via the Charismatic Movement on May 19, 1977 in Ann Arbor, MI. This Baptism only meant the re-affirmation of His coming in my Baptism and Confirmation and saying “yes” to Him but as an adult, and not through my godparents. Even my regular email address has 519, which refers to May 19…

Somehow, we have to be careful in creating all kind of ministries, prayer groups and the like without monitoring our spiritual growth. We only need to get together to reaffirm our desire to say “yes” to His will… His Spirit takes over and we follow. In our following, we practice almsgiving as the Lord call us to do. ALMSGIVING IS ONLY THE PRACTICE OFMERCY… towards our brothers and sisters. The good thing is that our suffering in different ways continues but many people come to our help at all times in all places. It amazes me how people run to open doors for me with a huge smile. Just last week, I opened the garage door to move the empty trash containers (one of recyclable goods and the other for real trash) and a neighbor across the street, a 40ish short woman ran fast to at least help me with the second container. I never knew her after 9 years of living here. This constant care from many human beings that I encounter keeps me reminded of the presence of God in my life. He moves them to help me in times when my knees hurt a lot. I am sure that He does it just to let me know that He is with me!

Finally, I want to ask for more prayers for me in order for my health not to get in the way of the many things I need to do. The closing of the house in Birmingham, AL will be on December 21. My sons from Los Angeles and Omaha, NE will come at the beginning of January to help out in the decision making of what to take with us and what to throw or give away. We expect to get there by mid January. I have contacted two different women to help clean this home after all is completed, but they did not answer!!! Of course, my Mother keeps reminding me that it is up to God to provide the right person to do it. And that is so consoling. Sure enough, my entire life is made of moments where He provided in marvelous ways. He only wants me to GROW IN EXPECTING HIM TO DO THE SAME! Once I get to Alabama, I have to look for a primary physician, an ophthalmologist and someone to detoxify my body. I know what to do: to let the Holy Spirit do the job while I trust in His Mercy with a big “yes” to what He wants. It is here where I need much intercession in order for me to follow Him in the way of a true disciple!

There is no doubt that God is good and His mercy endures forever! I count with your support. May you have a wonderful, blessed Christmas and New Year 2018. If you find that some of the ideas written in this blog are contrary to the Truth, the Life and the Way, please pray for me even more!

Tobit 4:7-11

“Give alms from your possessions. Do not turn your face away from any of the poor, and God’s face will not be turned away from you. Son, give alms in proportion to what you own. If you have great wealth, give alms out of your abundance; if you have but little, distribute even some of that. BUT DO NOT HESITATE TO GIVE ALMS; you will be storing up a goodly treasure for yourself against the day of adversity. Almsgiving frees one from death, and keeps one from going into the dark abode. Alms are a worthy offering in the sight of the Most High of all who give them.”








1. A review of Satan’s work in our times

November 5, 2017

2. A plan to defeat the power of evil


I am so amazed to have lived this experience of understanding what I have to do to bring peace to the world and glory to God… I was also amazed to find out that exactly this week of October 29 to Nov.3, a new book regarding the Rosary and evil spirits has been discussed at EWTN, which I have to buy and read. However, I already had received the content for this blog and precisely on the Rosary and the power of evil… What I have learned is somewhat different to the content discussed by the author of the new book, BUT IT IS FOR ME TO START PUTTING IT INTO PRACTICE ASAP.  Yet, IT BLEW MY MIND… to find out 3 weeks later, that the World Over program in EWTN of Thursday, November 2, had a section of an interview with a priest who was trained at the Vatican as an exorcist… I normally do not get to listen to this program until the following Sunday or Monday. However, I have EWTN in my Face book page and as I was passing by, I realized that one of the interviews was precisely on Satan!!!! The Lord had struck my mind three times in a short time and in different ways in order to emphasize in every form that I had to share in this particular blog what I would learn…

Before I forget, let me mention that as I prepared to write the blog on the devil, I decided to read a document that I posted in the right side “page” section in this site titled, “Satan, the Cross and our power to bind him.” I read it again because with my memory problems, I did not recall its content. There is no doubt that it was a fantastic job from the Holy Spirit as He guided me to write of Satan in the history of Christianity starting with Adam and Eve… up to the latest years. This time, it seems that I have learned what else to do to stop all evil around us, now busier than ever before!

Before I start sharing my new understanding to combat the evil one, I will share a few items according to the calendar sequence.


Wednesday, October 11

I received an email offering me a job in anesthesiology paying $225/ hour or $1,800 per day… This is still the product of our precious ex- candidate Mrs. Hillary Clinton. It was in the times of the early 90’s when her husband came to the U.S. Presidency that she promised to work and make three medical specialties (radiology, pathology and anesthesiology) hospital based and to be paid a basic salary by the hospital… Subsequently, most medical students upon graduation did not choose to look for residencies in these three specialties where the government would dictate the basic salary for these services… When this happened, we ended up with a huge drop of number of anesthesiologists available in the entire country. For the other two specialties, this was not a major problem because they do not take care of patients directly. For anesthesia services, we need a good number of members to daily cover the many operating rooms…and this is the practice of medicine that at times is very demanding and tough. A basic salary would not be fair. This is what politics does even affecting our health issues.

It was also mentioned in the national news that there are about 360 millions of depressed patients… My question is: besides carrageenan that does make some of us depressed, could it be that the toxicity that is present worldwide is affecting our brains not to produce enough 5 hydroxi-triptamine, which regulates the feeling of being content rather than depressed? There is so much left to find out! Just recently, I found a program where a Protestant brother Pastor was telling his congregation not to let depression burden them and to ask God to heal it… I felt sorry and sad at the same time… If he knew what he was saying!

Thursday, October 12

The famous and up to this date 22 fires covering 260 square miles (they started on October 8) in northern California, mostly in Sonoma and Napa counties, was a major concern since many (up to 900 people) were missing. Some were found safe and alive and others were found as a bunch of bones. At times, the responders would look for signs like a total hip replacement for identification of a group of bones. Of the 900 people missing and by October 15, 437 were found alive and well but 463 were still missing! These scenes of so much suffering that just occurred very close to me, was giving me a profound feeling of horror… We expect a huge earthquake right where I live due a fault that is moving…In 2008 when I arrived, they said that within30 years it would come about. Now, is about 2 decades maximum for the time for this similar disaster as it just happened in Mexico City.

Also, this area of north of California is famous for producing wine. Some wineries were intact but the smoke from the fires were not good for the grapes since it contained toxic products coming not just from the burning of trees and vegetables of all kinds, but from the burning of building materials like metals, plastic and wood!!!  So, many of the grapes were made toxic! This smoke came down south to us and it produced definite burning in our eyes…YET, THERE IS ANOTHER TRAGEDY… With these fires and due to the cultivation of grapes for wine, MANY undocumented immigrants have no job and are unable to get one without the proper legal status… Another major hurt for my heart!!!

Friday, October 13

A beautiful remembrance of the last apparition in Fatima was celebrated with LIVE Masses and Rosaries in Fatima and the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, D.C. Among all the tragedies produced by hurricanes (Harvey, Maria and others) and the fires in California, added to the dangerous smoke, hope was revived by remembering what our Mother had come to tell us 100 years before…and that is that she is always taking care of us with her intercession.

Monday, October 16

Fires also appeared much further south from where I live and near the coast (Monterrey) but still in the northern part of the State…

Tuesday, October 17 – Feast of St. Margaret Mary Alacoque

This is a very special feast for me because when as a child I encountered Jesus in the Eucharist, I asked to go to first grade to a school where I could be near Him. (At the end of this blog you will find the actual reason of why I was given the grace to know of His Presence in the Host and of my need to be close to Him… He did all for a good reason!). I ended up in a little expensive (too much for us but He provided the money), brand new religious grade school named St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, with Nuns who had come from El Salvador to found this little school with Perpetual Adoration of the Eucharistic Sacred Heart of Jesus… I always remember how He brought me to Him to sleep nearby and as a child of 7, I felt so protected at night because He was about 50 yards from where my bed was… This situation led me many years later to secure a niche for my ashes in order to be near Him (about 10 feet from the Tabernacle) at the Shrine of the Sacred Heart of Jesus in San Jose, Costa Rica… So, all and all, I had a great day as I reviewed the previous story.

The Live Mass with a priest from EWTN (I hate to mention names because all of them have good homilies and some from time to time  preach outstanding ones like this day), beautifully explained how our self denial as asked by Jesus to be His disciple, is a way of suffering. Here there are a few ideas preached:  “Self denial requires an interior disposition to die to ourselves and holiness begins from inside out. Our performance shows in giving alms or all acts of merciful love like giving food to the hungry, clothing to the naked, money when is necessary, BUT ALL ALMS SHOULD NOT COME FROM our surplus and our giving should hurt a little bit.  This outer performance also covers visiting the sick, comforting the sorrowful, healing the sick and forgiving those who have hurt us. Forgiveness is a way of giving alms to God present in the other.

Friday, October 20 – Feast of St. Paul of the Cross

I have mentioned before that I found the devotion to St. Paul of the Cross around the mid 1990’s. My third son and now Deacon went with me to a place where they sold antiques and found a huge church size painting of St. Paul of the Cross painted in the late 1880’s in northern England, and came to the U.S. precisely to Toledo, OH where I was living. My son said that it was not good to have this painting in a place like this and I bought it for $1,000.00 and had to store it in the garage of my then rented home. When I bought my own home, I placed him in the family room… and felt super accompanied since I knew him well for years before (had read many of his letters and teachings). He made emphasis of the importance of the Cross, a topic that I would need to remember for many years after this encounter due to my heavy suffering! I also bought a beautiful painting of one of the scenes of the Way of the Cross, when Simon the Cyrene was called to help Jesus…

For 9 years, both pieces have been in storage here in California … I tried to destroy the paining of St. Paul of the Cross but I was not allowed to do it, even that it would cost money to send him from OH to this area. In hindsight, I can see how he is probably being very present praying for me to accept my heavy crosses… The other painting is a reminder for me that with my self-denial I am like another Cyrene trying to comfort Jesus as He lives the horrors of our present times, especially of division and violence among us. My question now is if I should destroy this painting of St. Paul? Please pray for me to find the answer from the Holy Spirit. I did try while in Toledo to give it away to churches serviced by his Passionate Order, but all of them did not want it.

Well, on this day, I had to pick up at Walgreens pharmacy my refilled prescription for blood pressure and as I came out, I was totally lost as to where I was… Since my memory is going away again without any detoxification, it is characteristic of this state to forget all geographic points just as I suffered when I arrived here in July 2008. I decided not to stop the car and check the map since the lettering is very small, and told my Jesus to cover me with His mercy and take me home somehow. I have done that several times. I ended up in Walnut Creek, nearby city where Whole Foods organic store is located. I bought a couple of things that I needed and left to come home and as I left the parking area, an old homeless lady had a request written on a carton asking for money. I made a sign to her to meet me a few feet further in other to move away from the traffic and she did. I gave her the little I had in cash, $17! She was fascinated and I told her, “You are Jesus to me.” She smiled and blessed me. As I continue my driving, I realized that I had gotten lost because I had to feed lunch to this woman. There is no question in my mind that Jesus is a super lover of us.

Sunday, October 22 – Feast Day of St. John Paul II – the Pope that I had a personal encounter with on May 9th of 2002. (It is fun to know that one has met a future Saint and shaken hands with him!)

In EWTN, there was a great homily regarding how we know if we are doing His will. The preaching and content was great; however, I have a different approach to this question if I am doing God’s will. I simply tell Him and often during the day, a big Yes to all He calls me to do or suffer, and then I know and clearly that the Holy Spirit will do it for me; therefore, I do  not have to inspect what happens to see if I was truly doing His will.

Monday, October 23

2:30 PM – As I was thinking of the upcoming feast of Thanksgiving, I started writing: “I will celebrate Thanksgiving but every day, not just once a year. I will do it as I contemplate the will of God for each moment lived and do it from the bottom of my heart for what it is, whether good or full of suffering. I feel ready to be thankful for the beauty of His will for me since there is nothing as perfect than such will! “

I followed this with some concerns about how much I have to do like emptying this home. Immediately, my Mother said, “Do not think in those terms. On the contrary, feel happy that all that is necessary to empty this house will be done according to God’s plan, and those plans are always perfect and doable with His mercy. Instead, you should start saying, ‘Thank You so much Holy Trinity for the miracle of emptying this home in the perfect time frame with the perfect distribution of all items to be given away, sold or taken with us.’ Rejoice because His mercy will provide a perfect plan with wisdom, patience and energy for you to follow it. The more you enter into this truth, the more you will receive the faith necessary to allow Him to perform miracles, so that you do not have to worry or miss doing what He wants done for this move! The moment that you worry, even with the slightest concern about the process of giving away items (like finding the people that can benefit from them), or selling them (finding the people with the money to buy the items like the handmade French Provincial living room set handmade in Colombia -it cost me $2,500 -), or about selecting what you should keep, at that moment of worrying you will become confused and lost in the process that should all be done by God Himself!”

It was a great message for me… It is like taking some Tylenol for a headache…

Wednesday, October 25

Satan, I am sure has been around and bugging me. I had ordered a refill for my thyroid medication and for this time, I followed the idea in the Walgreens site to refill it for three months. I thought that it was great because it would be the last one until I get to Alabama… Well, I was supposed to pay $177 as co-pay… Normally each month I pay $4! So, I would have only owed just $12… So, why the error?

In moments that I am combating extreme food allergies (growing by the day) and learning how to handle this present moment through much prayer time, this was a major problem. This prescription was supposed to be picked up since the previous weekend but did not in order to call the pharmacy on a week day and spend much time waiting for a pharmacist to answer… They needed to tell me why of the inflated co- pay price… I finally spoke to one of them and she said that the money needed was just $12… When I brought the question of the excessive amount previously charged as co-pay, she said that it was a computer glitch somewhere from the insurance company or from their site!!!!! Mr. Devil truly confuses our lives at times that we are trying to solve many other problems.  I immediately realized that I had entered the battle field of resentment… So, I called my Mother for help and immediately all these feelings left me!!! Mr. Satan had been defeated!

Friday, October 27

Please, read this account for this day with much attention. It could be interpreted in the wrong way with regards to the Catholic Church.

I talked to my son the Deacon for something that had nothing to do with the Church. However, eventually, he was concerned as I was with the things going on right now within her. I already mentioned the matter in the previous blog and I am not going to repeat it. The point is that whatever is going on seems to be an effort to divide the Church and of course, Mr. Satan is again the most important worker on this matter.

3 PM: It is here that if you read the document mentioned at the beginning of this blog on “Satan, the Cross and our power to bind him,” one can truly affirm that Satan is all over since the story in Genesis…  In 2017, WE AS CATHOLICS SHOULD NEVER DOUBT THAT HE IS WORKING 24/7 IN MATTERS WITHIN THE CHURCH. I immediately felt called to wake up and do something about it.

What am I trying to say? Well, I felt in this precise hour of Mercy that I should be doing something about this situation and as God lead me to. I have always thought of Satan as somebody that confuses, divides, accuses, lies and gives fear. Yet, this is not the whole picture regarding this evil angel. This time I felt that the Holy Spirit wanted me to write a more comprehensive description of his work in our souls:

SATAN 1) leads us to pride, unnecessary attachments, fear, impatience, resentment or hatred, need for power over others, and acquisition of possessions beyond actual personal needs.  2) He considers self-denial in order to do God’s will as a weakness, insecurity and as form of self-hatred. 3) He confuses souls to believe that all suffering is a form of failure and that should be avoided at all cost. 4) He discourages any form of repentance because it represents an unnecessary humiliation.

On this same day, there was a nice game of basketball at 7: PM local time. As I have written before, I am not allowed to pray for a particular team to win… I am only allowed to watch the game in order to offer all my sufferings for the SALVATION OF all the players, coaches, referees, people attending, etc. and only to pray for the team to win with the least amount of potential to be affected by the win with pride or violence that may diminish their chances of conversion.

Well, I did so. At one point, my local team, a great one, was losing by 16 points and very late in the fourth quarter with just a few minutes to end the game. I kept my work at praying as just written above. Suddenly, I felt the Holy Spirit talking to me and telling me that I needed to use this blog to write about Satan especially for dividing the Church, and he is doing it by tempting the Ministerial Priesthood and the Laity not to agree in many aspects but in many cases doing it with resentment and even anger. Satan is also keeping the laity totally distracted by the social media in all its forms. This takes much time and prayer time is minimal. In general, Satan is producing fear as well as accusation among many members of either side. This is affecting the level of FAITH, HOPE and LOVE among all members. The evil one is tempting many not to live according to Church teaching, and so on and so forth! We know the story.

Here I will tell you about what I learned that is new for me (may be not for you) and how I wished I did not have to share it. I told so to my son the Deacon and asked him to pray for me not to produce any scandal in your souls. I also know that some of you are praying for me because I asked you and this consoles me, in order not to be TEMPTED by Satan to produce any spiritual discomfort in your souls. Here it is:

The Holy Spirit then revealed to me how in SOME CASES only, some teams lose games because of the hatred or simply resentment with envy that the crowd or players may feel for the great ability of the other team they are playing. It is an act of division, pride and fear to see their team lose. This feeling is a powerful negative force that totally acts on the disliked team and distractions and poor decisions make them give the ball away. Satan is present dividing and making some sin against the commandment, “love of neighbor.” In other words, it is totally alright to want to win but it is not good to wish the opposing team the worse in mistakes so that they lose…

In this particular case, I know that the local team is known for their humility from coaches to players. I was startled because it sounded so weird to truly believe in such a powerful power. I never knew that existed and therefore, I doubted that this was coming from God. It was here that the Holy Spirit or so I thought, “asked me to ask the Father in the Name of Jesus to stop this negative force against each other that only comes to the hearts of many as a temptation from Satan himself.” This gave me hope and I started to believe that it was truly the Holy Ghost because Satan would never ask for prayer to the Father in the Name of Jesus. I also heard to ask as well for the salvation of those who where resenting, and if I did so, that my team will win. In hindsight, it is clear that the Lord was trying to convince me that Satan is into everything, including moments where one could not feel he would be busy dividing us!

I further understood that it would happen because Satan cannot endure having prayers said for the salvation of the people he is using and so he takes off. This prayer if done, will not be as a trick for me to use in the future in favor of the team I like but ONLY as a proof of the power of Satan in many circumstances, and how we have to pray in a different way to stop him in the day to day spiritual warfare we should be fighting against this evil angel. The Holy Spirit promised me that my team would win just to prove to me of what had been explained. Also, this also contained my agreement to use this blog to speak about how to stop Satan even beyond the use of my crosses against him, as I wrote and coming from the Bible in the mentioned document that appears in the “page” section. So, to offer crosses to stop Satan is very important but we can do more and very powerful actions to make him run away and therefore to have peace in the world. Always, always, we must pray for the salvation of those under the evil temptation!!!!! This is essential.

I accepted the idea, prayed as asked to do and changed the channel since there was a good program going on in EWTN! And yes, my team scored 19 points in short minutes… The men narrating the game could not believe what had happened… Right and there, I understood that the time had arrived for me to submit to the Holy Spirit not only to further understand what I can do but to post it in this October blog! It sounds confusing and please re-read it if you have to, but 1) our prayer is essential like with the Rosary; 2) our suffering/cross is essential to be offered but 3) our prayer for the salvation of those acting on behalf of the evil one is also very important! Only through love of neighbor can we help the most in the matters of Satan… Obedience to God’s will through the Commandments leaves him unable to continue having much influence in our spiritual lives…

Saturday, October 28

I was still fascinated by what I had recently experienced. To a certain point, it led me to believe that discerning the guidance of God may be difficult unless we allow the Holy Spirit with our yes to God’s will to give us signs that He is the one guiding us.

My Mother came around and asked me if I wanted further proof in this point of view. I said “yes.” She sent me to call the Holy Spirit to guide me. Immediately, in my imagination I saw the number of the page in the Bible. This is the normal way that more often than not, I receive the particular page number instead of hearing about it. It was page 788.

After I read this chapter of Isaiah 7, I was led to understand the history behind in the notes posted below the chapter.

For example: Ahaz was the King of Judah (735-715 BC)

Rezin, was King of Aram (in Damascus, capital of Syria)

Pekah, was King of Israel

Rezin and Pekah were ready to attack Jerusalem because of Ahaz’ refusal to enter with them into an anti Assyrian alliance. It is here when the Lord sent Isaiah to tell Ahaz, “TAKE CARE THAT YOU REMAIN TRANQUIL AND DO NOT FEAR; let not your courage fail before these two stumps of smoldering branches because of the mischief that Aram plots against you, saying, ‘Let’s go up and tear Judah asunder, make it our own by force, and appoint the son of Tabee king there’

“Thus says the Lord, ‘This shall not stand. IT SHALL NOT BE. But within 60 years and five, Ephraim shall be crushed, no longer a nation.”

Isaiah 7:9b – “Unless your faith is firm, YOU SHOULD NOT BE FIRM.”

The chapter continues saying that the Lord wanted Ahaz to ask for a sign but he refused because he did not want to tempt the Lord.

Isiah 7:14“The Lord Himself will give you a sign: the virgin shall be with child, and bear a son, and shall name him Emmanuel.”

I was fascinated about the content of this lesson on the importance of truly having faith, and of course, very important for me in these moments of poor health and having to empty a home to move elsewhere! It ALSO seemed that God wanted me to believe that I have to grow on how to deal with Satan personally and the family included and for the Church and the world at large!!! I also understood something I never thought about it when I read this passage. In one of my Bibles, I was taken to it on July 7, 2012. In another Bible, I was led to the same chapter and verse in 2016. This new understanding was how the God of the Old Testament was not only advising Ahaz about the importance of faith, but how he should not be fearful because Baby Jesus would come to win all wars!

I also understood that the topic of the evil one was given to me to deal with any action of Satan that would destroy my faith even with Jesus around… Generally speaking, we tend to forget that dealing with Satan has to be a super important topic for our salvation and of the entire world because even Jesus was tempted by him… And yes, it is time that we PAY ATTENTION TO THE ACTION OF SATAN in our Church and in the world. We have an immensity of examples of how we humans are constantly attacked by evil forces tempting our brothers and sisters and ourselves! Again and again, Satan does a marvelous work in many forms including where we do not even suspect it like in a basketball game. As you may be figuring it out, with the birth of the Baby announced in Isaiah we have all the power to crush Satan in our times. At the end of this blog I will share how I was taught how to pray for this to happen!

As always, my extraordinary Lord wanted to be sure that I had to learn all about the history of Israel. They were divided in the times of Isaiah. The northern Kingdom, Israel had other Gods. The southern Kingdom  of Judah was faithful to one God, Yahweh!!! They were divided like right now in the U.S politics where most TV programs exude hatred, division, accusations, resentment, etc.

In the evening I learned another way of how the evil work especially in the U.S. A Hispanic channel showed the story of the flower called Amapola. The flour comes out of a small brown bulb, about one inch in size, Yet, inside this bulb there is a thick gum from where opium and from it heroin and morphine can be manufactured. For example, 90% of opium comes from Mexico, province of Guerrero. This country is third in the production of narcotics following Myanmar and Afghanistan. The flowers of Amapola bloom every four months. Of the 14 narco-cartels in Mexico, 10 are dedicated to the cultivation of Amapolas.  

Monday, October 30

On this day I received the entire program to destroy Satan’s influence. It was awesome but I will share it at the very end to close this blog.

Tuesday, October 31

A truck driven by a 29 year old immigrant crazily drove in lower Manhattan, NY and killed some and sent to the hospital many others. There is a constant attempt from Satan to destroy lives and for no apparent reason other than pure hatred. 

I also detected this demonic characteristic of division, accusations, lies leading to fear in a well known 10 AM (P.T.) ABC program with Whoopi Goldberg and 5 other women called “The View.” The problem is that the content of their program is mostly about politics and against Mr. Trump. Well, in the U.S it is permitted to speak your own mind; however, to do it over and over five days a week for months is becoming for me a major source of resentment and still a higher source of my need to turn on the program for a few minutes per day and to pray for them with the best love that I can manufacture at the time. Also, they are in the list of my community Rosary. I wonder what will happen now that I have started my new work against Satan?

Tuesday, November 1

2:30 PM: I was concerned about my rather high blood pressures and medication seems to work poorly to get it down. My Mother came and said, “Again, do not wonder why your blood pressures are not being controlled or about what else to do. NO PART OF YOUR LIFE IS LEFT UNATTENDED BY GOD!  Keep your faith under control so that your health can be controlled by Him. In other words, this is a way from God to keep you alerted as to how much you must trust in His love!”

Wednesday, November 2

It seems that lately I am being illuminated when I worry about any subject. Today, I was concerned when I could not remember what I was going to do (as I have mentioned my memory is getting worse by the week due to the toxic environment that I live at and without any detoxification because I am allergic to those products that  I used in 2009 to recuperate my memory).

Immediately after I worried about my ongoing memory loss, I said to myself, “Hey, not a single complain regarding the will of God for me right now…”  Then, I also added but now more conscious about it, “Yes, Lord, it is alright to lose my memory and wait until I get money to use an injection of glutathione to detoxify ASAP.”  After this short event, I wondered if now that I am praying to get Satan under control, he cannot get me with fears… We shall see.

Sunday, November 5

Before Mass on this day, I suddenly was called by Jesus to offer the Mass for a special person or event. I thought that this blog with this not easy topic was the perfect choice. I still had much editing to do and felt that I needed more grace to be sure that everything was how the Holy Spirit wants it. He corrected me and said, “No, offer this Mass for President Trump, his wife Melania and all the heads of governments that they are going to encounter during their important trip to Asia!” Wow…”  Jesus is soo good… Therefore, during the Offertory I placed all of these people on the paten and chalice to encounter Jesus moments later during the Consecration. Of course, I also offered with His Sacrifice at this Mass, my crosses so that Satan could not work overtime, especially tempting the President to use words that might create discord, division, etc.


Here I will share how I am praying to stop the evil in my life and of that of many others.

Prior background: I pray 3 Rosaries a day for sure. A fourth is sometimes prayed. The first Rosary is the “FAMILY” Rosary with Chaplet of Mercy intertwined.

Every decade is dedicated to one of my 4 sons with his family if they are married and this uses 4 decades. On each decade I pray as follows:

“Eternal Father, I offer you the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your Son Jesus Christ and ALL MY SUFFERING in atonement of the sins of my first son (second, third and fourth and all by name), myself and my Pastor.  Then I pray the Our Father. After each Hail Mary, I pray: “For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and the whole world.”

Previously, I used to offer the fifth mystery for Mr. Trump, and other groups of people that on that day needed prayer like victims of fires in California and destruction done by earthquakes or hurricanes (Harvey, Maria, etc.). However, I also prayed for Mr. Trump with another Rosary as you will read.

It was in recent days that I REALIZED THAT I NEVER INCLUDED IN MY FAMILY ROSARY, MEMBERS OF MY WORLDWIDE FAMILY, those who are created by God in His image no matter of what religion or nationality, enemies or friends. I realized that I have been a joke regarding the conversion of souls. I did take care of my sons but not of my brothers and sisters everywhere. AS OF 4 DAYS AGO, I am offering the fifth mystery of the Rosary and of the Chaplet of Mercy with all my suffering for everyone else AND using a long list of special intentions as given to me by the Holy Spirit. I do not read them for each Rosary, but they are written and I offer the entire package!

My second Rosary is the community Rosary/Chaplet of Mercy with a list of intentions for each Hail Mary and I have partially posted my intentions in the section of “pages” in this site. Of course, the intention for each Hail Mary also includes a prayer for atonement of their sins and asking for God’s mercy for them.

My third Rosary of the day with Chaplet of Mercy have been offered for Mr. Trump, myself (health issues and spiritual ongoing conversion), peace in the U.S and the world.

My fourth Rosary without the Chaplet is offered in thanksgiving to God for His blessings for my family and me.

Now, here is what I have written for the fifth mystery of the “family” Rosary and includes all possible ways to stop the evil one in our lives; that is, in my family of all created in God’s image:


1. For the mercy of God and the power of Our Lady TO BIND all evil within the Roman Catholic Church at all levels à the Vatican, Archdiocese, Dioceses, Religious Orders of men and women, and the Laity.

2. For the United States, all governments worldwide and all formal religions

3. For the understanding in what ways Satan has a hold in our lives.

4. In order to receive the Gifts of the Holy Spirit to understand what parts of our lives we have handed to Satan and for the courage to place them back under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

5. Asking the Father in the Name of Jesus for His mercy to BIND ALL THE FORCES AND SOURCES OF EVIL and re-claim the Blood of Jesus to destroy them.

6. With this mystery of the Rosary and Chaplet of Mercy and in the Name of Jesus Christ  I seal with His Blood our homes, places of work, parishes, the Vatican and the Pope,  and all Bishops, ministerial and religious Priesthood, Religious Orders, U.S. Government and world governments and peoples.

7. With this decade of the Rosary and Chaplet of Mercy I surround all of us with the Light of Christ and on their behalf I put on God’s armor to resist the devil’s tactics. I stand my ground with the Truth buckled around, clothed with righteousness as a breastplate. I carry the shield of Faith to put out the burning arrows of the evil one. I accept salvation from our God Jesus as our helmet and receive the Word of God from the Spirit to use as a sword. (Ephesians 6)

8. In the Name of Jesus with this decade and Chaplet of Mercy, I reject the seductive lure of the evil in all its forms and refuse to let sin have dominion over all of us.

9. Heavenly Father, I ask for Your forgiveness for ourselves, relatives, ancestors, the Roman Catholic Church and the United States enemies for having called upon the powers that set us up in opposition to Jesus Christ. In His Name, I break any curses that may have come or are coming against us and stop the transmission of those curses. Loving Father, let the cleaning waters of Baptism flow back through the past generations to purify our lives of all evil contamination.

10. With this decade of the Rosary and of the Chaplet of Mercy I surrender to You Holy Trinity our health, resources, skills, occupation(s), relationships, time management, successes and failures. I surrender to You our emotions, fears, insecurities, sexuality and our entire lives, past, present and future. Come Holy Spirit and cover us with the fire of Your love. Surface out of our inner beings and fill us anew with Your Gifts.

11. To our heavenly Mother I say: “Majestic Queen of Heaven and Mistress of the Angels, you received from God the power and command to crush the head of Satan. Therefore, I humbly beg of you, dear Mother, to send forth the Legions of Heaven that UNDER YOUR COMMAND they may seek out all evil spirits around us, in our hearts and minds, inside our Roman Catholic Church, in the media and everywhere else. ENGAGE THEM IN BATTLE, CURB THEIR PRIDE AND HURL THEM INTO THE PIT OF HELL.

12. To our Angels I say, “Holy Angels and Archangels, most especially St. Michael, defend us in battle; be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil; may God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou, O Princes of the heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world seeking the ruin of souls.”

13. With this decade of the Rosary and Chaplet of Mercy I beg You Lord to stop all evil forces and spare the lives of all unborn babies who are in danger of being aborted today, and to stop tempting their mothers to terminate their lives!

14. On behalf of all mentioned above with this decade of the Rosary and Chaplet of Mercy I renounce Satan and his pomp. In the Name of Jesus I command all evil spirits to leave all of us and encounter Jesus in the Eucharist with a new fervor and in our neighbor with a new awareness, in order to fulfill Jesus’ command to take Him to the ends of the earth. Spirit of Jesus fall afresh on us. Melt us, fill us, mold us, heal us, use us and seal us from all evil. Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on us for the work of proclaiming God’s mercy, our beacon for the end times.

15. With this decade of the Rosary and Chaplet of Mercy, I ask You, Holy Trinity for Satan to be ousted from the 2018 elections of the Senate and House of Representatives in order to elect men and women committed to save the life of the unborn and to defend Religious Liberty.

16. With St. Ignatius of Loyola I pray: “Take Lord and receive all our liberty, our memory, our understanding and our entire will, all that we have and possess. You have given all to us. To You, O Lord, we return it. All is Yours. Dispose of it wholly according to Your will. Give us Your love and Your grace, for this is sufficient to us.”

So far, if I pray for my God given family and my family composed of all created by God in His image, it seems is the only thing we needNot so, not so! This new Family Rosary with its fifth mystery needs to come from a heart full of love for God and neighbor.  I know for a fact that if I pray beautiful Rosaries but continue ignoring the will of God in my life of living an ongoing conversion, well, the results of my prayer cannot bring the same blessings needed against Satan. I do not have to be perfect but certainly dedicated to give glory to God by doing His will as a sign of my love for Him and loving my neighbor in its best  way, praying out of love for their salvation and as I offer my crosses for them.

We know of St. Therese of Lisieux, my sister since I was a baby as my grandmother used to tell me, that she wrote of the “little way.” Last month I wrote the number of things that can help us convert on a daily basis. This time I will share the “little way” that was given to me in 2006 and which I did share with you some years ago. To this list, I will add some of the ideas of St. John of the Cross. If I follow these ideas, the fifth mystery of the Family Rosary and Chaplet of Mercy will certainly STOP SATANSo, the work will complete a major conversion in my life, but this time also aiming at the action of the evil one, who will be around me day and night, as he was around Jesus. I need to be constantly aware that he will try his best to tempt me… Therefore, I need to be under the guidance of the Holy Spirit to help me with His Gifts to discern his presence and temptations and to pray on a daily basis for all evil demise…

THE LITTLE WAY as received in 2006 (Toledo, OH)

1. FAITH: never to doubt in His merciful love for me. This means not to be terrified with circumstances and potential difficult and painful events.

2. HOPE: To know beyond any doubt that with God all is possible.

3. LOVE: To love God (His will) and my neighbor as Jesus did!

4. TOTAL ACCEPTANCE and ABANDONMENT at each present moment to all suffering and crosses, joy and delights out of love of God, in order to best conform to His will.

5. REPENTANCE with a firm purpose of amendment for any time that I break these previous commandments and as I confess it to a priest for Jesus’ pardon.

6. KNOWLEDGE of what my life will consist of:

1) I shall go by the way I enjoy not.

2) I shall go by the way I know not

3) I shall go by the way I possess not

4) I shall go by the way I will pray much

5) I shall go by the way that I suffer much

6) I shall go by the way that I love much

7) I shall go by the way that I forgive much

8) I shall go by the way that I ignore and forget much (received wrongdoings)

9) I shall go by the way of the Cross.

As noted above, it was on October 30 that I received this list of needs to pray for with the fifth decades of the Family Rosary and Chaplet of Mercy. It was 3 days later that the exorcist priest came to answer some questions in EWTN on the subject of Satan.

Father Vincent Lampert (? spelling) from the Archdiocese of Indianapolis was asked why demonic activity is in the rise nowadays. He said that because more people are willing to play the devil’s game. It is not because there is more awareness of his work among us… Wow… This is the reason why the Lord insisted in many ways to lead me to bring this topic to the Internet. When asked what an exorcism consisted of, he said among other things that it has to be conducted in a sacred place but prayer is the basis of this rite to bring the possessed person to a relationship with God.. The exorcist also needs to find out which was the entry point of Satan in the life of the person. It could be by invitation by placing the eyes in the occult or by a parent dedication of the child to Satan! It has been found that those who are possessed but never knew Christ are easier to be freed. Yet, in those that are apostates, the devil has more power over them! Right now, 70% of the millennia’s have no religious affiliation.

Moments later after I left Face book, I suddenly put together parts of my life that I had never paid attention to… When I was 2 years old, and again at the time that St. Therese’s picture descended upon me from the wall and my maternal grandmother who WAS PRAYING THE ROSARY as always at 4:30 AM, while sitting against the headboard of her bed, she got out of the bed and ran to console me since she thought I would be awaken by the picture falling on me and probably would start to cry. When she got next to me, the picture moved back to the wall!!! She would repeat this story to me from time to time… Of course, my  grandma belonged to the spiritual family of St. Teresa of Avila and other Carmelites like St. Therese.

About this time in my life, my household met a new neighbor by the name of Isabel. She turned out to be a medium and had sessions in her house where she would allow spirits to talk to others about their lives through her. As I grew up and we moved from the neighborhood, my family continued a close relationship with Isabel. I remember visiting her when I had come to Costa Rica from Panama to do my first year of internship as I waited to process my paperwork at the American Embassy to obtain my green card to come to do my residency in cardiology in the U.S. JUST IMAGINE HOW CLOSE I WAS FROM SATANIC FORCES through our dear Isabel. I had a friendship through my family with the occult in the time that at 61/2 years of age I would encounter Jesus in the Eucharist, even before my First Holy Communion. Our Lady and the Rosary through my grandmother plus the protection of St. Therese were the saving elements that kept Satan away from me during my infancy!

And of course, as I chose to live in a convent for my first grade, I basically had been sent there to be under the saving power of Jesus so that nothing would harm me, since my grandma and mother believed in the good…  things that Isabel (whom we called Chabelita-nickname for those named Isabel) was bringing to us!!! Well, this was good news for me… Yes, Jesus in the Eucharist, the Rosary with my Mother’s intercession and that of a saintly Carmelite at the Throne of Mercy were like a continuous exorcism to stop Satan to do me any harm. The program with the exorcist’s interview was so important to me… And yes, I will be on the alert like never before regarding the evil powerful ominous attacks. I had never been aware that I had been protected by Jesus and Mom and a Saint from Satan to enter my life!

There is something else that also came to me: since I pray a daily Rosary for my four sons, I HAVE KEPT THE DEVIL AWAY without truly knowing it… For example, these four men and wives all love each other. Among them there are no divisions, lies, accusations, envy and the like. On the contrary, now at the end of my earthly life, my second and fourth sons are going to live close in Birmingham, AL. My first son is doing his best to move around next June from Los Angeles to Omaha, NE where my third son and family live. This proves to anyone that the power of the Rosary to produce peace, unity and love among families is true.

I want to close with this message from our previous Pope Benedict XVI in his homily of the Mass of Epiphany – January 6, 2006

“The Disciples of Christ must realize this: taught by Him to live in the style of the Beatitudes, they must attract through their witness of love all men to God. So, let your life shine before all men so they may see your good and give glory to your Father in Heaven… But how can this come to pass? By the absolute and total availability to the will of God. Mary teaches us to be epiphanies of the Lord in the openness of our hearts to the strength of grace and in the faithful adhesion to the Word of her Son.”

Thank you so much for your prayers to put together this very difficult subject and for the new understanding received on all evil forces. In thanksgiving to my Lord, the Holy Trinity and for His glory, I publicly PROMISE to keep praying to the end of my life, the Family Rosary and the Chaplet of Mercy with the fifth decade offered with the previous intentions, as I also offer all my sufferings to inactivate Satan’s actions over the human race. I solemnly invite you to check with the Holy Spirit to see if you too are called to do the same.

May you have a very blessed Thanksgiving celebration.



Several topics in the midst of these violent last weeks!

October 9, 2017


On this day of Friday, October 6, I am starting to write this blog. I am also super late in posting it and there are several reasons for it; I tried to have His permission to write a short note telling you that I would post it on October 15, a great day for me since it is the feast of St. Teresa of Avila, the one whom I knew very well since I was a very small child. However, the Lord did not agree and wants me to proceed and post it a few days earlier.

Of course, the amount of material that I have is huge and right now I have no idea in what way to share all that knowledge. Of course, I keep calling the Holy Spirit to take over.

The amount of horrible events that have touched our hearts, whether in the U.S. or in Latin America, are clearly a call for us to wake up…!!! Something is the matter and it is not the end because Jesus was clear in saying that when earthquakes and other major destructive violent events would come, it would just be the beginning of the end!!! IN MY CASE, I AM SUPER SURE THAT I HAVE TO WORK IN GETTING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS JESUS TRYING TO TELL ME, and what to do in the mean time. So, this blog will contain ideas about what I should be doing like seeking a further daily conversion. It is also key for me to pray for all those who are suffering these horrible events, and thus fulfilling much better my love for neighbor!

However, towards the end of September, I finally received very good ideas as to what should be my work and prayer in the middle of this chaos. I then understood the importance of writing this particular blog!  I ended up thanking God for His great help to understand my work to do, especially when in recent times our Catholic Church is showing signs of division.

My move to Alabama is still in the process of being arranged and all depends upon when our future home gets finished in Hoover. By any means, it is not an expensive home at all. However, it will be a “smart home,” which means an energy efficient building that will show up even in all appliances! You may know what it means but just in case, I will explain it.

This article on “smart homes” for this area in Alabama was updated on Aug. 23, 2017

Sales are going strong and construction has started in the new Reynolds Landing “smart neighborhood” in Ross Bridge. The neighborhood is part of a collaborative research and demonstration project with Alabama Power and its parent, Southern Company. The Reynolds Landing neighborhood will feature its own power system that includes a 5-acre solar panel field in addition to a connection to the traditional electric grid.

Alabama Power, Southern Company and Oak Ridge National Laboratory will conduct research on the neighborhood’s energy usage over two years and collect performance data on an array of emerging energy-efficient appliances and “smart home” features being put in all of the Reynolds Landing houses.

One of the biggest selling points has been a group of energy-efficient construction features, including thicker walls with more insulation, triple-pane windows and a radiant barrier roof that reflects radiant heat instead of absorbing it, reducing cooling costs. All of the houses in Reynolds Landing will feature Carrier Infinity heat pumps that operate longer at steadier, lower capacities to increase energy efficiency, quiet operation and humidity control. They’ll also have a Rheem hybrid electric water heater that claims to deliver hot water faster than most standard electric water heaters.

The houses will be equipped with “smart home” technology that allows homeowners to control multiple features while away from home, including locks on the house, garage doors, a security system with cameras, lights, refrigerator interior cameras, the air conditioning and heating system and the stove. The HD camera security system includes infrared night vision and wide-angle lenses, and each house will have voice-controlled Amazon Echo Dot technology that allows users to control locks, lights and more with voice commands, according to marketing literature. A Google mesh Wi-Fi system will allow for a strong internet connection in every room.

Houses in Reynolds Landing will also be equipped with the latest Samsung appliances, such as a refrigerator that allows people to control the temperature in specific compartments with the push of a button; a microwave with a grilling element that allows food to be toasted, crisped and browned; a clothes washer that washes a full load within 36 minutes; and a dryer that steams wrinkles, detects problems and reminds the user about vent cleanings. They have a doorbell camera that lets seeing who is at the door, whether at home or away. (END OF ARTICLE)

It is interesting that the October 31-Nov.1 date will be the 9th anniversary of writing blogs… This time will also mark a big anniversary of 9.5 years of living in this so toxic area and how my health has been negatively destroyed. Yet, without being here I would have never been able to find out how my memory loss is a consequence of toxicity in general, this because I noticed the loss getting worse in a short time. This will of God for me to come precisely to this area provided in 2009 the knowledge to end up with the miracle of reversing the memory loss in two languages. In fact, right now I am losing my memory especially in English, but I have not been able to detoxify myself because by now I am allergic to the products I used in then. It will be one more proof for the scientific world that yes, probably ALL dementia is due to toxicity including Alzheimer’s, which is just about 15% of the dementia cases. In the case of Alzheimer’s cases, patients have the genetics that help this memory loss to appear. I do not have those genes.

I want to add how God led me to find out about toxicity and memory loss. I have shared this information in years past, but I want to emphasize how He programs our lives if we follow Him…  When I sought my residency and got it in Internal Medicine in Michigan after my year of internship, I did because I wanted to become a cardiologist since medical school… Yet, one day I woke up with the firm idea that I had to become an anesthesiologist… I did not like the change because in general I hated operating rooms… and yet, I obeyed this heavy load of looking for a residency in anesthesia, and having to turn down the one in internal medicine, which was very hard for me… I looked like a crazy irresponsible person…

Worse is that it was so late and close to July 1 (it was in the month of May), the starting date for all residencies that when I decided to look for a residency in anesthesiology I was certain that I could not find an opened spot. Yet, Sinai Hospital of Detroit, CREATED a residency for me if I accepted to do 3 years of anesthesia residency, the brand new idea that the American Society of Anesthesiology was bringing to this specialty, instead of the 2 years as before. OF COURSE, the Lord wanted me to deal with fluoride (in all anesthetic gases) in order to get to California in 2008 and finally understand what general anesthetics (gases) can do in our memories… I have been told and several times that I was created as an instrument to bring hope to all people with dementia…

There was an event that corroborates what God does in our lives. Very recently, just days ago, there was a program from the University of Steubenville discussing the extraordinary relationship between Pope JPII and President Ronald Reagan, which gave us the end of communism as we knew it and as Our Lady of Fatima had warned us about, now 100 years ago. I will mention the details later on this blog.  If we want examples of how our God has specific jobs for all of us, this is one…

THIS SCREAMS THE NEED FOR ALL OF US TO DO HIS WILL AT ALL COST… In my case, yes, I was guided without knowing it to find out that toxicity is the mother of many health issues. In fact, one week ago, it was published that a major university is now asserting that obesity and memory loss go together. Well, not so… Obesity (some cases) and memory loss are the kids of “mother” toxicity.

Of course, I have many others things that I have discovered, especially suffering depression with a certain food, and all together required me to become a doctor and how He provided such education when I had not the money to do it!!!! HIS MERCY was tremendous and I repeat this story just to make sure that everyone who reads it will be sure that WE ALL ARE CREATED WITH SOME WORK TO BE DONE FOR THE KINGDOM… and that our Lord directs our lives to make it possible… Just imagine the number of elders that could come out of nursing homes… when they recuperate their memory and how much money would not be wasted… Or the number of people that may overcome some form of depressions when they cease to eat the wrong food… GOD IS SOO GOOD… and His mercy and love for us is out of this world… It amazes me that without this huge cross lived in California I would NEVER HAD FIGURED OUT THAT MEMORY LOSS IS RELATED TO TOXICITY, since I lost my memory much faster after I arrived on July 8, 2008…

I must confess that I have felt sad and concerned about so many recent disasters… It is not the end of the world because Jesus told His apostles that these particular events were the beginning of the end! But if this is the beginning of the end, am I ready to go home feeling that I have accomplished all that I was created for? It hurts me to see that I am most likely not ready and that I could do more…

My health continues to be a disaster regarding pain in my legs when I eat whatever food since I seem to be allergic to everything, some foods worse than others. Suffering seems to be a grace from God for me to offer for the salvation of all souls… Our Lady of Fatima urged the children to accept suffering for such purpose. As you can see, I have many concerns in these last years of my life, although the Lord is sooo merciful and funny, that He has decided to take me to Alabama before I go home and live in a “smart” home… Wow!

Sharing’s according to the calendar sequence

Tuesday, September 5

By chance, I found a program in EWTN/Spanish on Our Lady of the Valley in Catamarca, in North West Argentina. This is a mountainous region with several valleys including the Valley of Catamarca. In 1620 an Indian shepherd found within a tiny niche in a rocky section, a small (42 cm) rock like figure of a dark woman. He took it to the administrator of the Valley and this one took her home. She disappeared and she was found in the niche. This happened several times. Eventually they discerned that she was the Mother of Jesus trying to denote that she was the mother of all, Spaniards and aborigines by being dark. In time they made a chapel and the local women made a blue dress with a white tunic to dress her with!

They narrated several huge miracles that she was instrumental as intercessor. She healed a wound in the back of a person that was infected as deep as the spinal column. A very sickly baby was healed within 6 hours that his father took him to visit her. They gave many other stories of healings. Later you will find what she has done for me.

Wednesday, September 6

On this day we knew that the hurricane Irma, category 5, was scheduled to pass over Puerto Rico. I went out to a supermarket here in Martinez and north of my home, although I was supposed to visit Target, south of my home. I had prayed for the Holy Spirit to direct me. Because of my health and not having eaten since the previous morning, I bought some things in the regular supermarket that normally I buy at Target, even that they were slightly more expensive. After spending $219, I asked for help to carry the items to my car and the girl who came to do it, was looking kind of sad. I gave her my gifts of what I know on memory and depression, and sure enough, she suffers from depressions… I told her that this was a schedule appointment guided by Jesus and by the end of the conversation, she was so happy… I asked her to take Ensure which contains carrageenan and see if it would give her depression and if so, she had similar genetics to mine. Vanessa was simply fascinated.

When I left, I asked the Lord if it had been from my prayers of Our Lady of the Valley since I was still asking Him to tell me why I had ended up watching this program, in case it would be for me and my health problems and guiding me to ask for her intercession…

That same afternoon, I turned on EWTN left in the Spanish side and the priest Father Pedro Núñez was reading some emails regarding his program  just received and one of them gave me much pain by the way of talking about Pope Francis, never calling him by this name but only as Bergoglio… The email was also against Fr. Pedro for discussing Amoris Laetitia and siding with the Pope. Fr. Pedro never became angry and on the contrary, only told this man that if he was soo upset, he should have gone to his Bishop or to the Vatican to treat this subject matter, instead to going to the Internet to refer to the Pope as the anti Pope.

Immediately I thought of Our Lady of the Valley (Nuestra Señora del Valle) and said, “Mother of the Valley, I want to dedicate my present time to pray for the Church, for Pope Francis and for all who are attacking him with reason or not and for the Church not to be divided. My suffering I offer it for all who attack the Pope via Internet, television and the like.” I offered a Rosary to Our Lady of the Valley for this situation.

Thursday, September 7

Hurricane Irma was passing over the Caribbean islands as a category 5.

An 8.2 earthquake happened in the South of Mexico.

Friday, September 8th.

Irma arrived in Florida. 5 million people were evacuated.

This was the feast of Our Lady of Vailankanni in India.

I found out that the following Wednesday, my youngest granddaughter who lives in Alabama was to have surgery to repair a small hole in her heart. It could just be fixed by the placement of a catheter or be more invasive with surgery.

Saturday, September 9

I heard the LIVE Mass on this day of the Feast of St. Peter Claver, S.J., Spanish priest who came to Colombia to receive thousands of slaves from Africa and serve them with evangelization. He baptized over 300,000. I kept switching to the weather channel to see Irma’s status. Suddenly when I went back to EWTN, it was at the moment of the Consecration and I started crying and told Him how much I loved Him and asked for His help for my pain even that I had had nothing to eat for the last 21 hours.

Tuesday, September 12

I spent most of the day praying for my granddaughter and asked for the intercession of Our Lady of the Valley…!

Wednesday, September 13 – Day of the fifth apparition of Our Lady in Fatima!

My granddaughter only needed the catheter and all went well. She was discharged the following day! I suddenly remembered of my prayers from the day before… to Our Lady of the Valley! This Mother of God and mine is simply a dream!

Thursday, September 14

At 1:45 PM and after the 12:30 PM Rosary, I felt that my Mother wanted to talk. When I feel this way, she always advices to call the Holy Spirit and so I did. I was given page 510 in the Bible. It was Psalm 4 and verse 6 called my attention. It said, “OFFER FITTING SACRIFICE AND TRUST IN THE LORD.”  I liked it and told my Mom that I would try to do so…

Friday, September 15 – Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows

Fr. John Paul from EWTN preached an awesome homily about Our Lady!

Saturday, September 16

As always, Satan bugs many of us and frequently… On this day, around 10 AM and out of the blue, the water was gone for the entire house. I called my son at his job. He called the owner of this house. The reason: a nearby neighbor saw some water coming out of our house (although I live in a court… and it was no water from our side) and decided to turn off the water without knocking at our door to ask if we wanted this to be done. This was found out by late afternoon. The water flow came back around 1 PM and done by the landlord. We wanted to know the why and turned out to be the stupid decision of someone around us. I could not wash my hands or any dishes or flush the toilet. I now wonder if the Lord allowed this to be done just to show me how important plain water is for all of us and from now on, to remember to thank Him for this precious gift! I felt so sorry for never paying attention to all the gifts I am surrounded with in this beautiful country!

At 3 PM I sat to pray but felt bad. My Ma asked, “Why do you feel down?”

I said, “You are right. There is no reason.” She responded, “Always remember that when you try your best to do the will of the Father, nothing else is needed!” She referred to the fact that during the time of not having water, I did say, “Thy will be done.”  She was happy about it!

Sunday, September 17

I saw a program in EWTN/Spanish about the assassination on March 24, 1980 of Bishop Oscar Romero from El Salvador. The stories prior to his death were horrible. Violence has been a terrible factor in Central America, minus in Costa Rica… because we do not even have an army. We only have a police force to secure the general peace in the country and give traffic tickets. Politian’s tried to create one in the late 1930’s to the late 1940’s, but a Costa Rican born from Spaniard parents, Jose Figueres Ferrer, became the President and abolished whatever they had formed as an army… Why? Only God would have planned it and we all knew about it, even us kids at the time. To this date, there is no army in the government and Costa Rica is known as the Switzerland of the Americas!

Monday, September 18

During the 12:30 PM Rosary, my Mother came and explained that I must ignore all problems of any kind. She added that what God wants is perfect and therefore I must faithfully accept all problems and needs that I have to be met like getting rid of many papers and junk accumulated through the years as well as my problems with my bladder that needs to be emptied quite often, due to the mistake done by the urologist in the surgery of my bladder in 2015. She added that if I take such attitude, all things will be solved as if by magic. Yet, she said, “Do not seek perfection in order to obtain a solution to all needs. Do it out of love for God and to give Him glory. That is true love for Him when you do things just to please Him and never to obtain any benefits but only those willed by Him.”

Tuesday, September 19 – Wednesday, September 20

32 years after a major earthquake in Mexico, another came to destroy many areas, including part of the City of Mexico, and this one after a few days of the first one (8.2 Richter scale) in the south of this country. In Mexico City, many children from a private school were killed! Because I have 4 Hispanic channels, I had a much extensive stories than through the English press. Mexico City has 35 million of inhabitants and 2,200 schools and on this occasion 6+ million were affected as many buildings simply collapsed. Of course, one more disaster touched my heart even deeper  because the destruction of human life could mean the loss of the salvation of some souls!

A hurricane named MARIA (unfortunately) was in route and eventually destroyed the entire island of Puerto Rico.  Wow! There is no doubt that God is trying to say something or to remind us of something! Ouch! I would have never, ever, thought that this entire well known island could be gone in 24 hours!

Saturday, September 23

I spent some time watching the life of St. Pio of Pietrelcina, better known as Padre Pio. I saw Satan bugging him since he was a young child appearing as a dog which wanted to attack him. He was persecuted by many, including by his own Bishop. I became sad since my entire life I have suffered so many persecutions and in hindsight they scare me more that they did when they happened. Again, what has been the reason for my Lord to allow it?

Monday, September 25

I kept watching here and there, stories of people in Mexico City who had lost family members. A mother had lost 2 grade schools children. At the same time, the US and North Korea continue to bring many questions? Why people like the president of the Korean country hates us so much? I was sure about Satan being involved in all of this.

At 2:30 PM, my Mother came and asked, “Why do you think about this international event of hatred?” I had no idea what to say. She then continued giving me some wise words.

Our Lady: “As you see the many disasters with hurricanes and earthquakes, always remember that your present sufferings are nothing compared to what many of your brothers and sisters are going through! Therefore, often give thanks to God for these blessings and present crosses, because they are much smaller compared to the ones that your brothers and sisters are going through! Often accelerate your disposition to say ‘yes’ to all that God permits or allows in your life. Think that the yes to all crosses, will give you the purification necessary for the evangelization of many. AT NO TIME be afraid of your difficulties. Daily pray many Rosaries so that you can bring your ‘yes’ to God’s will to a new pinnacle of perfection, showing Him in this way that you love and trust Him

“Thanksgiving for what it is with a decisive yes to what is happening in your life, will placate any fear. Acceptance of your crosses is the piece that will mark you as a true disciple of my Son. Daily work in this area of your spiritual life is extremely important. At all times, call the Holy Spirit within to take over your actions and feelings and to provide guide in this valley of tears. I’ll be with you always, my dear daughter. Am I not here who are your mother? Remember to offer all difficulties for the salvation of souls and with a intense desire to see them saved but always out love for them. If you cannot passionately love them, ask my Son for this grace and He will give it to you. Remember that you belong to the Body of Christ and act as such.

“Here is a small prayer that you should repeat often, ‘Here I am Lord. I come to do Your will. Give me the grace Father, in the Name of Jesus to love my brothers and sisters as You love them and as I love myself. Here is Your servant and child wanting to become whatever You want for the building of the Body of Your Son on this earth.’ “

Only in hindsight, I can understand that my Mother was very repetitious as to how to handle my crosses since some would come to me and heavy ones, so that I would not despair and at the same make a good use of them with a big yes plus offering them for everybody involved in the disasters of this world.

Tuesday, September 26

My son who lives with me flew to Atlanta for a 2-3 day conference regarding his company’s matters. At the end, he got a car and drove to Birmingham in order to check the new home in progress. By the way, the new address is short and easy for me to remember. Of course, by now you know all about this “smart home.” Since we use here the Whole Food Market which specializes in selling foods that are organic, now the same chain will open one on October 18 in Hoover, some 15 minutes from this new home… God cannot be outsmarted…

On this Tuesday, I received an email from my fourth son in Alabama after being prodded by his wife to do so (this doctor is very humble) and told us that he is now the holder of the Hilda B. Anderson Endowed Chair in Nephrology which will help him with some salary support and other resources for research. Unfortunately, since I am an immigrant, I have no idea what holding a “chair” means… I still have to ask any of my sons to instruct me in the matter. I know it is something good and prestigious but why they call it a chair? I have no idea!

I heard these two short messages and believe they come from Padre Pio. I want to share them in case you have not heard about them because they are very good for our souls!

“Lack of charity wounds the pupil of the eye of God!”

“Sin is the violation of love.”

Sunday, October 1

On this day, a 64 year old man, gambler and well of millionaire, Stephen Paddock, from the 32nd floor of a famous hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada, killed 50+ people and injured some 500 more, who were meeting for an outdoors Country Music Concert (about 25,000 people). He used 19 different weapons to accomplish in 10 minutes this stunning level of carnage. Wow! One more disaster!

Monday, October 2

This tragic event added to the several ones of recent weeks, made me stop and think and pray and ask myself: “As a physician, when there is an illness, I was trained to make a diagnosis. I had to determine what is causing these symptoms that bring a patient to us? I then without even thinking much about it, I wrote the following questions as possible sources for so much violence:

1. As a Christian society (for many of us in the United States), are we TRULY KEEPING THE COMMANDMENTS? Do WE LOVE ABOVE ALL THINGS? I moved this question to myself and wrote à If I keep the commandments, I cannot resent, judge others, except call my brothers and sisters to face their sins and pray for them but OUT OF LOVE. These last words demonstrate that I am seriously in a process of conversion and if I do not love, I must ask the Lord for the help necessary to love my brothers and sisters as He loves them AL and where they are at, not changed!

2. Am I saying ‘yes’ to the will of God second by second? This includes 1) not worrying about any problems around me! 2) It demands for me to pray for my own lack of self denial! 3) It demands a total trust that God’s mercy will lead me to a huge ‘yes’ to His will. 4) It demands to quench all fears and letting go through constant prayer and dedication to be a servant. 5) Also, my ONGOING conversion will let me recognize what destroys faith, hope and love.

3. What is to be in an ongoing conversion?

1) It means to pray at least ONE FULL HOUR/day, standing or sitting down (not driving or cooking, etc), and saying a Rosary and the Chaplet of Mercy atoning for my sins and those of the whole world.

2) It means to read the Holy Scripturse DAILY as allowed by my occupation(s) and as the Holy Spirit lead me to do, so to be opened to Him at all times.

3) It means to have a relationship with my Mother, Our Lady, through the Rosary and perhaps more than that, so that she can keep interceding at the Throne of Mercy for my holiness.

4). An ongoing conversion means to quit excessive periods of waste of time with television, internet, books, etc.

5). It means to always run to serve others BEFORE we serve ourselves like Our Lady did with her cousin Elizabeth and at the wedding at Cana when she requested Jesus to make wine.

6). It means to automatically and at every second of my life to embrace my crosses and its suffering and to NEVER RUN from them!

7). It means to NEVER WORRY regarding the guidance of the Church with her teachings, since our prayer in a state of conversion, whether perfect or not, will bring the POWER OF GOD to work on us to be faithful to them, since He divided the Red Sea and the Jordan River. God’s power also united a President and a Pope from different backgrounds, religions and countries in order to end the horror of communism.

For those who have not read the book, A POPE AND A PRESIDENT, written by Dr. Paul Kengor. President Ronald Reagan and St. John Paul II were shot 6 weeks apart: March 30, 1981 and May 13, 1981 respectively. The Pope received 4 pints of blood; the President 6 pints! Mr. Reagan’s father was not a believer.  His mother belonged to the “Disciples of Christ” and was on fire for the Lord. At the President’s funeral, the Ave Maria was sung even that the he and his brother were members of the Disciples of Christ and were baptized. His brother became Roman Catholic before Ronald’s death. Ronald Reagan was always considered an honorary Catholic!

The power of God united these two men and the question is: What would have happened if one of them had died? Well, we would be left without the miracle of their work on Communism… Not only that, St. John Paul II considered that it was Our Lady of Fatima who protected him from the bullet due to the date when it happened. Reagan knew about it because when invited to Portugal as a U.S. President, he spoke about the Fatima apparitions as a wonderful miracle… All in all, God’s Power created this two and protected them after becoming very famous as Pope and President. In fact, when Reagan lost the election of 1976 to President Jimmy Carter, this was also part of the plan and he said so years later. It happens that the Pope was not a Pope yet in 1976. He became one in 1978… Although Reagan ran again in 1980 and some of his relatives were against it due to his old age, he insisted in doing it. The rest is history…

Again, a person faithful to an ongoing conversion, will always show perfect TRUST IN THE POWER OF GOD, whether in the times of the Old Testament and before Jesus was born or in the XXI Century. JUST TO TRUST THIS TRUTH will make us grow with the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

8) An ongoing conversion on my part will never deny that “for God all things are possible” and that asking the Father in the Name of Jesus for whatever is the will of God will be given to me. In general, I must confront my lack of trust in Jesus and His Word.

9) The state of ongoing conversion in my soul will give back to God any troubling  infantile actions and transform me into a “holy child” in order to change me into a lamp that lights the lives of others. 

10) An ongoing conversion can transform me into a child of God that is trusting, loving and innocent so that the Holy Spirit can do something good for the Body of Christ.

11) An ongoing conversion will not allow me to be rebellious, fearful, proud and resentful, trying to deal with spiritual matters as the world does and not as God does, plus never recognizing the evil one working around me.


The rest is up to God since He can do all things.

On this day of Monday, October 2, at the end of the day I started having a powerful headache.

Tuesday, October 3

I woke up with blood pressures that were extremely high and the head ache was probably the cause of these high blood pressures… No treatment for the blood pressure worked at all. Again, I kept asking why I was having this continuous horrible headache. By the afternoon, I even suspected that I probably had to go to a hospital. My personal physician could not do much from her office… I needed studies to see if I was bleeding in my brain. I called my son and told him that this was the scenario. He came back rather early to see what to do next.

It was 6:30 PM when while saying the Holy Rosary with EWTN and asking for help to decide if I should go to the emergency room, I got an answer from my Mother who reminded me of the origin of these headaches in times past… Of course, since my memory is starting to get lost again due the constant inhalation of petroleum toxics (found even in the floor of my bathroom when I clean it and get a black product in the cleaning wipe), I had forgotten that in 1992, my God and my ALL had done a miracle. We were in Solon, Ohio (Cleveland suburb) as we came out of South Bend and sent by God through a message received in Houston, TX (you know the story repeated in a recent blog). I had two days with a headache that even moved my husband to go to our hospital and get some Demerol (powerful narcotic) to help me. It did not. Then, the Lord said that this pain was due to a virus in my meninges and to treat it with Zovirax, which quiets the virus, although it never disappears and only reactivates from time to time. Of course, I knew that I was carrying the herpes simplex or zoster virus. I never would have imagined that it had migrated to my head and caused a headache. In fact, it has been only in recent years that I figured out that vitamin B12 causes the virus to reactivate!

My husband went to a pharmacy and wrote a prescription for Zovirax and yes, in 24 hours I had no headache. Ever since, yes, I have had headaches every few months and treat it with Zovirax and they go away. Nothing else helps it. In 2017, because I suffered a moment with dementia regarding this fact, I took late the Zovirax since I always keep it around for this same reason. This time it took almost 3 days for the headache to go away… The blog was put aside since my brain was so sickly. In the midst of this suffering and TERRIBLY AFRAID OF DAMAGING MY BRAIN WITH THESE SO HIGH BLOOD PRESSURES THAT COULD BREAK AN ARTERY AND END UP WITH A STROKE, I told my Lord that I wished I did not get paralyzed in whatever side of my body, but if this was His holy will, that I would accept. I could not say yes without fear. I had fear that His will was such… in the midst of a move and I knowing all along what was wrong with me.

A day or so later, I realized that this extreme suffering, emotional and physical, had a meaning. And of course, this knowledge will be part of the book since NO ONE HAS EVER WRITTEN ABOUT IT… I suspect that the Lord wanted to underline this fact so that I do not forget to add the extra information. It is already part of the book but this event becomes a scientific proof that it is true… Yet, this extreme suffering was ALSO needed for me to understand what follows through an act of purification of my mind. Soon after, I understood something important in spiritual terms.

Friday, October 6

I had no headache and was certain that my understanding of what a conversion is all about came to help me comprehend an important issue, since I had been very conflicted with recent programs I had seen regarding the feud in our Catholic Church and related to Amoris Laetitia, the Papal document that even provoked Fr. Pedro Núñez to be insulted and our Pope to be convicted of wrongdoing. During the days of the headache and after, I RECEIVED A CLEAR IDEA OF WHAT COULD BE GOING ON… Again, I am not a theologian; I am not a saint either, but please note again how God had sent me to review what it is to live in an ongoing conversion so that I could better understand what I learned!!!

Monday, October 9

A. On this day and starting late October 8th, we have had many fires (affecting 70,000 acres) in the North of California but close to me. Napa (Santa Rosa), Lake, Sonoma and other nearby counties and cities have seen many homes destroyed. Thousands have been moved to shelters where they can stay at least for now. The fires have come mainly because the environment, the land is super dry and the winds are a power as well. Some small hospitals have been emptied. 

B. It has been three days where I have been praying and asking others to pray for me… I hope that some of you, readers of this blog, have also prayed for me…I need to speak in clear terms and yet, NEVER TO OFFEND ANY OF YOU… I do not want to offend you and actually love you for your courage to bring this subject of Amoris Laetitia to the airways. If you had not done so, I would have never received an explanation that has made me grow spiritually.

I must confess that when I heard the discussion among very intelligent religious people about the Pope being wrong for what he wrote and for not answering the four Cardinals that asked for an explanation, and worse now having the laity get involved on questioning the Holy Father, I FELT ANGER… Again, not for what was said but by the way it was said. For example:

1. I noted anger in their explanation of the error of Pope Francis, not only of the writing but of not answering why he did so…

2. I noted impatience for not having stat answers

3. I noted intolerance

4. I noted resentment

5. I noted some sort of pride because the New Testament is clear about divorce and re-marriage according to Jesus’ Words that when questioned why He thought so when Moses had allowed it, He answered that Moses proceeded on those terms simply because of the “hardness of their hearts.” In other words, it basically assured us that they were right and the Pope is wrong and it is up to us to correct him in matters as important as this one that can send the faithful to commit a mortal sin and be permitted to receive Holy Communion.

HERE COMES MY UNDERSTANDING of this topic that came at the end of severe suffering (headaches and possibility of a stroke). During the prayer of a Rosary, I UNDERSTOOD that Moses was in the Old Testament an equivalent of what the Papacy is all about since Jesus established it through our first Pope Peter. Could it be that Our Lord wants us to change the rules just because of the HARDNESS OF OUR HEARTS…Jesus did not condemn Moses per se. He condemned the Israelites at large. Are we suffering hardness in our hearts? You bet! The huge amount of violent events whether from nature or human made CAN SPEAK a lot about what God is allowing in 2017… We are at the peak of a violent and despicable immorality and persecution of Christians plus the DESTRUCTION OF MILLIONS OF BABIES IN THE WOMB…

On top of this, we so called faithful Christians, we allow the Eucharist to be received without any particular respect and KNOWLEDGE of the true presence of Our Lord Jesus in the consecrated Host. I say it because I was given this gift as a child and know for a fact, that upon placing Him in my mouth, I tremble, I smile, I love and I tell Him so…I could not live without Him. In fact, because in the month of September I was absent from Mass for three Sunday’s in a row and of course, unable to attend daily Masses, I have felt sooo sad… I need Him like I need water and the air in my lungs. I often cry in watched LIVE Masses at the time of the Consecration and I tell Him how much I am in love in Him. I always send Him a kiss! At times, I repent for my not being the best servant and always beg Him to give me the grace to say Yes to His will.

I doubt very much that this obvious indifference is going on in the soul of many faithful lay Catholics out of their fault. Our own Pastors, some and not ALL, seem to go through the Consecration as a well rehearsed event. Is it a judgment? Of course it is but I can tell by their faces!!! Other Priests are extraordinary witnesses of the moment when He comes to the altar to love us more and more. Yet, the Eucharist is given to everyone if they want it, without a simple reminder before the Communion, that receiving Him without the state of grace is a major sin… They are doing what they accuse the Pope to be doing!  In this matter, WE ALL NEED A CONVERSION AND NOW…

Well, but there is something else…Anyone that with reason or not, with the Truth or not, judges someone else while their lives are not in a state of ongoing conversion, he/she MAY BE causing division!!! Yes, the Truth can produce division but not for long… God will come and fix it

But there is still one more thing… People that accuse someone else about what seems to be an error in faith matters should never do it before they pray to love their so called enemy and un-doer of the Truth of Christ. This is the reason: we cannot use worldly or human methods to fix what seems to be wrong in spiritual matters… We need to use MERCIFULMETHODS and that is to do it from a sincere love felt for our fellow sinner.

Nowadays, I see so many reading spiritual books and watching multiple great religious programs, yet turning around to try to do it by themselves… IT DOES NOT WORK! There are tons of books on how to KNOW THE WILL OF GOD. Yet, to know the will of God only needs for us to submit to His will second by second. He will take over and guide us since we open the door to the Holy Ghost by our self denial and picking up our crosses and the rest is history. We have to be true disciples and FULL OF THE HOLY SPIRIT to be guided as to what to do according to the will of God for each one of us… If I need to read a book, I will be called to do so and it requires my state of ongoing conversion, when the Holy Spirit is truly running my life. This is the most perfect method to LEARN (not from books and trying to do it ourselves) as to how to CHANGE THE ENTIRE WORLD, and I mean the entire world….

We can bring PEACE TO THE WORLD, as long as we let Our Lord guide us in all He wants from each one of us… O yeah… Reagan and the Pope were used splendidly. The Red Sea and the Jordan River were parted like nothing… Why is it that we cannot bring peace to this world? Because we act and use THE METHODS OF THE WORLD THAT COME FROM OUR BRAINS… If we as Catholics do His will second by second and pray for the Papacy to be only what the Holy Spirit wants, we do not need to speak and divide with accusations… And how to be so faithful to His will? It is a piece of cake… We simply say ‘YES’  to God’s will like Jesus and Our Lady did from the bottom of our hearts; when not able to do so, we ask the Father in the Name of Jesus to give us His mercy with the grace to say that kind of yes… and second by second. IT IS NOT COSTLY and it is the TRUTH… Mother and Son came to our world to teach us the Way, the Truth and the Life…

I must confess that I have had to some extent some fear of not being able to write what it is above…I have prayed tons and I know some of you have done so for me… and now I feel a total peace to have shared what  I have finally understood, that we are the kids of our Dad in heaven and that we are full of power when we live according to His designs and use His son and our Mother to witness to us how to do it. The rest is up to the Holy Trinity. I also must confess that I have zero resentment for those who have come to question the wisdom of the Papacy with faces that do not show me love for our Pope as the grace of God in their lives. Yes, I went through a period of resentment and realized that Satan was tempting me so that my prayer for this situation and even to write this blog, would not be heard by my Dad. I now can say that I love them despite the resentment felt in them and thank my Lord for He has given me a list of the things I need to have in mind for my ongoing conversion, of course, not to try them on my own, but always under a big yes to His will for me.

Please forgive me if I have offended you with this blog. I am not taking sides with our Holy Father… I only felt that the accusations seemed to come from individuals that were not showing love of neighbor, and worse, resenting what is going on. I could not trust such attitude as coming from Jesus. What would have Jesus done in this case? It is simple: He could have questioned the Truth in the Papal document if it felt it was needed but done with immense charity…It would have called many of us to pray for this situation and for both sides. It would have called us to offer sacrifice for the souls of all involved and leave it in the hands of God… since for God all things are possible. Why should we fear so much what it is so easy for God to fix if we ask Him to with hearts who are in a state of constant conversion out of love for Him and for neighbor! Obviously, if I sound like a heretic, please pray for me!

“The Lord is my Shepherd and there is nothing I shall want!”

P.S.: Please overlook my many mistakes in the English language since my eyes are not happy with the writing of this long message.


I discovered the meaning of embracing my crosses and how to find spiritual healing for peace in the world!

September 3, 2017


“Will you offer yourselves to God to accept all the sufferings which He may send to you in reparation for the countless sins by which He is offended and in supplication for the conversion of sinners?” asked our Mother in Fatima to the three young shepherds…One hundred years later and on this month of August, I have been instructed on how to personally best fulfill this request. My crosses have increased and I have been instructed as to how most perfectly accept them. Yet, with great surprise and towards the end of the month, I was surprised to understand what truly means to embrace my crosses… This would be the main topic for this blog. I am definitely super fascinated with this new teaching for me…

I will add some other topics of issues I did not know in detail… It all came via television. In the Hispanic TV outlet Univision, Joseph of Egypt mentioned last month, ended and left me so touched… It has been followed by “The Promised Land” with a central figure being displayed with great detail, that is, Joshua. How beautiful it is to have one hour of Bible stories amongst soap operas in prime time… This combination produces a certain feast in the soul, since the Biblical story is real and soap operas are make-believe situations

I have mention that for many years Univision has presented similar religious stories. They are called, “La Rosa de Guadalupe or The Rose of Guadalupe.” In every story, Our Lady of Tepeyac forms part of the prayer of one of the actors and a white rose appears on top of a piece of furniture under the picture of Our Lady. The actor notices it but has no idea why and this according to the story. The end always brings a good blessing to one of the main characters and reaffirms the intercessory power of Our Lady in their lives. So, I cannot complain about my Hispanic culture in TV land. Of course, the stories sometimes have horrible scenes of immorality, but the end of any story is conducive to reaffirm the importance of prayer and of the Mother of God, acting as our true mother.

Just one week ago, this same TV outlet brought a recent interview of a KKK couple by one of Univision hosts, a younger Hispanic woman with black African ancestry. I never knew that in the Bible, Jesus was described by Pilate as a good looking man with golden hair and blue eyes and this according to this KKK couple. Of course, it does not say so! They claimed that it is not their invention and that actually it appears in the Congress Library Bible in Washington, D.C. in two letters from Pontius Pilate to two specific friends (Tiberius and Claudius?)…

Of course, when Univision checked these letters in the so called Bible in the Congress Library, it does not exist…!!! So, according to their views, they should not give any food or help to any outside of their group (white supremacists, KKK, etc.) because He did not do it as He refused to give it to the Canaanite woman who asked Him to heal her daughter who was possessed by an evil spirit. The woman answered that even the dogs ate of the leftover that fell from the table… As it turns out, they claim that Jesus is a member of the KKK and He will protect them…!!!

The Univision host said that at the time she felt she was in danger. She asked them what they would like to do to her. The man answered that she deserved to be burned because she was ugly and lacked importance on this earth…(As I wrote these notes in my diary, little did I know the important connection that this interview had for my spiritual growth as you will see later).

Back to Our Lady of Fatima asking the children to sacrifice in atonement for the sins by which He is offended, of course, I also should do that for the KKK members and do it with love for them since they were created in His image. Forever and ever, I must CONFESS that I have not placed their name in the list of petitions of my community Rosary for any of the white supremacist members of our society… Ouch! In fact, I always had felt some rejection and resentment for all of them up to today… There you can see how much I need to grow in this part of my soul’s conversion… And this conversion is sooo easy… if I do what I am supposed to do, especially with prayer and sacrifice in atonement for their sins and for their salvation; however, this is done AFTER I PRAY DAILY FOR GOD’S MERCY for me TO LOVE THEM AS JESUS DOES! If I pray for them resenting their behavior, well, I have missed the call…

As you can see, I must confess how poorly I follow Jesus at times. I will proceed to narrate some teachings and encounters with the Holy Spirit and my Mother according to the calendar dates.

Wednesday, August 9

I have a rather big piece of carton that I wrote in 1979 and have kept on the wall of my bedroom where I have a prayer corner next to images of our Lady’s different titles and of Jesus and some Saints, like St. Paul of the Cross, St. Therese of Lissieux, St. Anthony of Padua, St. Teresa of the Andes, St. John Paul II, St. Pio of Pietrelcina and St. Alberto Hurtado Cruchaga (Chile). It is a prayer from St. Benedicta Teresa of the Cross, OCD, or Edith Stein, the Hebrew atheist who converted to Catholicism. After reading the life of St. Teresa of Avila she became a Carmelite nun and died in Auschwitz during the Second World War. This is what she wrote:

“My God, I do not want to know Your paths since I am your daughter. You are a Father of Wisdom and also my Father and if You take me through the darkness of night, I know You are taking me to Yourself.”

This has always being a formidable reminder that my Dad takes care of me regardless of my sins, and that all suffering that He allows is for my own good for one day to be received in His arms. Well, little did I know on this date that surely I had much suffering to endure for this month and that it all would gain for me a new understanding of how to embrace my crosses… I always thought that it was a sort of acceptance of my crosses, and yet, I was very short in truly understanding what it truly means!

Thursday, August 10

Our international fights with North Korea keep getting more and more aggressive and dangerous, especially from their side. I have been praying for Mr. Kim Yong Un, but I have not been blessed as yet with love for him. I need to work on this conversion of my soul by offering my sufferings for myself to see in Mr. Un, an image of God who is confused and whom I want saved. In the other hand, it was on this day that I started feeling the call to get to Alabama and try my best to attend daily Mass again and do at least one Holy Hour. This was my routine for many, many years. As of now, I need some health to go back to the same practice and offer my prayer in His Presence, and to spend my last years on earth truly working full time for the Kingdom. By then, I will be away from so much toxicity around here and after doing a good detoxification of my body, my health issues could get better in order to start spending more time with Him. Obviously, I suspect that my Lord will help me and my health will get much better.

At 6 PM on this day, I asked my Father to heal my body to the point of being able to spent time with His Son’s real Presence and intercede for  world’s peace regardless of race, color, religion, etc. In retrospect, I am happy to report that I did not ask to eliminate all my health problems and only enough to be able to go and visit Him on daily basis. You will learn why I say it at the end of the blog.

Friday, August 11

On the feast for today of St. Claire, I took a large picture of Our Lady of Fatima that I received in her honor for the centenary of her apparitions and wrote in the back of the picture, the call for my last years on earth as described above and asking her for help.



1. Daily Mass offered for the salvation of souls (through an ongoing conversion), and souls representing all Catholics, Christians, agnostics,  atheists and from all other religions.

2. Four daily Rosaries (that some days before the Lord and my Mother had asked me to pray for peace in the world)

3. Daily Holy Hour (s)

4. Lectio Divina when called to do so.



1. Offering all pain and allergy symptoms and any health issues

2. Offering my self-denial of personal desires with a constant YES to God’s will (later on I had more to add to this section)

3. Writing of blogs on a monthly basis if led to and physically able do it.

4. Working for this project with other Catholics when I would prefer to do it alone!

Below these two columns I wrote:

I promise to DAILY ASK MY FATHER IN THE NAME OF JESUS FOR THE GRACE TO FOLLOW THESE TWO PLANS OF PRAYER AND SUFFERING and bringing as my intercessors to succeed, my Mother Mary, St. Clare, St. Pio and my Guardian Angels Angelo, Pio and Joachim. In case you did not know, when I consecrated myself to the Holy Angels in the 1980’s, I received the name of my original guardian angel while I was in Medjugorje in the late 1970’s and after a priest visiting this apparition site, taught some of us about all the choirs of Angels. . This priest was from Cleveland and our traveling group was from South Bend, IN. So, a couple of months later, he came to Indiana to further instruct us and consecrate us to them.

I was told to call my original guardian angel,  Angelo. I was surprised that it was in Spanish or English but in Italian. Shortly after and upon returning home I realized that now St. John XXXIII’s name was Angelo Roncalli!!! In the next two years or so, two more guardian Angels were added to help me: Pio was given to me to help me as a wife and mother. Joachim was given to me to help me in my medical practice…

On this day, after writing on the back of the picture of Our Lady of Fatima, I signed this covenant at 3:35 PM (during the Hour of Mercy)

Friday, August 12

I took Miralax (a stool softener) needed because of the poor surgery they did in my bladder which is wrongly attached and also because of Tramadol that causes some difficulty in the proper elimination of my stool; therefore Miralax helps much. I had been taking it since the surgery in 2015. I am allergic to it reacting with some pain but it was not a super allergic. I took it at evening time after my dinner.

Saturday, August 13

At midnight I woke up with severe pain in my already  bad left eye. On a normal basis, I have about 50% vision deficit. At this time, my deficit was around 75%!!! It continued all day. I did not take Miralax for the breakfast meal. By the afternoon, the vision loss was slightly better. I thought that maybe I was blaming this product for my sight problem. I took Miralax at supper time and bingo, the same symptoms with severe pain and loss of vision were back to 75%…. I had pain the rest of the night. This was a severe allergic reaction to this medicine with generalized inflammation which it showed in this eye by reduced vision.

I was unable to go to Mass because my eye was aching much and the vision was very poor. My legs, besides my knees, had started to ache so much that Tramadol was barely covering the discomfort. I reflected on the plan of April 11 and realized that suffering had arrived in a manner not suspected.

Tuesday, August 15

On this great feast of Our Lady and for Costa Rican’s is Mother’s Day, I could not go to Mass. My body was a mess… Also, my son was working and I could not drive to Mass by myself. My eyesight has made of my driving a very difficult and dangerous task…

Thursday, August 17

From this date on I will bring some facts on Hurricane Harvey found in the Internet. It will serve to realize how this disaster started and to make some comments at the end.

“Tropical Storm Harvey is named, six hours after the National Hurricane Center in Miami issues a potential tropical cyclone for several small Caribbean islands.”

Saturday, August 19

“Moving westward between the northern coast of South America and the larger Caribbean islands, Harvey is downgraded to a tropical depression, with maximum sustained winds of 35 mph (56 kph). Six hours later, it is further downgraded to a tropical wave.”


Pain in my body continued to worsen. Of course, as of the last 2 months, I am allergic to ALL FOODS, some more, some less. I only have two meals per day: The white of 4 hard boiled eggs plus one avocado and ground turkey cooked with carrots plus a sweet potato or more avocado… No use of garlic or onions and only salt is added to the turkey. So, I am also allergic to both proteins, the egg white and turkey…


In the evening, I was sent to read a particular page of the Bible, Psalm 37.  Some of the words gave me peace and hope…Here are a few verses:

“Find your delight in the Lord Who will give you your heart’s desire. Commit your way to the Lord; trust that God will act. Be still before the Lord: wait for the Lord.

Sunday, August 20

I was up at 4 AM praying the Rosary with EWTN/Spanish, this to have time to evaluate my health to go to 8 AM Mass. The pain was unbelievable despite taking Tramadol 2 hours prior, and I could not proceed to attend Mass!!! At 9 AM, and considering how much trouble I had to even go and visit Him and have Him within me, I started taking a wonderful product that in 2009 I used for my detoxification to reverse my memory loss. I still had a little bottle of Zeolite (a volcanic product) and one takes 13 drops, three times a day with a glass of water. Of course, I reacted somewhat to it and had some pain. I took it the three times on this day with much prayer since  I was afraid to have my left eye vision get worse… By Monday, I had to stop it because the pain got worse, which means that it was causing inflammation and could affect my left eye. Yet, I did see changes in my body…. The pain got worse but my memory got much clear and my vision got better at least with 5 doses!!! I did not want to experiment any further because of my left eye…Yet, I thanked the Lord for showing me that detoxification is what I need and what will work once I get to Alabama!

Monday, August 21

The entire country was involved in watching the eclipse of the sun by the moon. I had just heard a little summary of what the Universe is composed of and I decided to look it up further in the Internet. This is what I found of interest to me:

The Universe is composed of all existing matter and space considered as a whole; the cosmos. The universe is believed to be at least 10 billion light years in diameter and contains a vast number of galaxies; it has been expanding since its creation in the Big Bang about 13 billion years ago (Well, most likely since our God made it!!!!)


A galaxy is a system of millions or billions of stars, together with gas and dust, held together by gravitational attraction. The galaxy of which the solar system is a part, is the the Milky Way. Our solar system, made up of the Sun and the planets that encircle it, is a tiny part of that galaxy. The solar system is the collection of eight planets and their moons in orbit around the sun, together with smaller bodies in the form of asteroids, meteoroids, and comets.


A planet is large celestial body, smaller than a star but larger than an asteroid, that does not produce its own light but is illuminated by light from the star around in which it revolves. In our solar system there are nine known planets: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto.” (END OF INTERNET INFORMATION)


The entire day I kept thinking of the immensity of our universe all created by our God Who takes care of each of us as if we were a precious star or a planet, but of the size of a sand particle… Wow! And to think that our Mother is the Queen of the Universe, and this the title that has done many miracles for me… The patroness of this Diocese of Oakland is Our Lady Queen of the World. Forever and ever I thought it was the same title… No way! Under the title of Queen of the Universe, she is right here on my screen covering the entirety of it and also in my I-phone screen… and from now on, whenever I am at this computer or every time that I look at my phone, I will rejoice to KNOW THAT SHE IS THE QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE…… And yes, it defines her powerful intercession… So, this special day when we had this eclipse of the sun by the moon, brought me to a new excitement in my soul as I consider that my troubles are all under the protection of my Mom, as I call her.


And whenever I pray the Rosary, I will think of her love for us appearing in Fatima, located in this tiny planet… that God chose for Adam and Eve and for His Son to come and die for us… I am sure that by now, our Mom does not need the GPS system to find us… Even more, from now on, when I pray the Rosary I will feel so loved because when I was a child of 3 or 4 and on, I saw my maternal grandmother talking to this Queen… in a tiny country in the America’s where she had appeared some 200 years before to an Indian girl in the province of Cartago, the province where my father and mother and relatives were born…


On this day I heard via television that the most important fact to grow in holiness is prayer… Just imagine if we pray all day but without any practiced self denial (choosing God’s will and not ours) while we keep our resentments alive… Jesus never said so… Yes, we should pray but for ourselves to be converted to live in self-denial and to love our enemies. He went to pray despite being God, and yet, his prayer time was there but his love time for those who needed to be loved was a preponderant story of His life. As far as I am concerned, growth in holiness is a combination of actions, all directed to do the will of God at all times. One rejection of our suffering can truly devastate our growth… How hard is to hear these things and maintain our love and appreciation for others.  I immediately offered my suffering for the people involved and asked my Father in the Name of His Son, for the same grace of love granted to me and that the Triune God has for them.


Tuesday, August 22



The homilist for the EWTN Mass was fantastic, a Passionist priest, Fr. Cedric Pisegna.


At 3 PM I made another consecration to Our Lady under this title. I have done them since the 1980’s and I lost the count. I used to do them every month with preparation from the first to the thirtieth of the month. It was in 1988 that she started conversing with me and obviously, I kept this as a secret… Any parishioner, who would hear me say it could become very upset… It was not the time for me to go public on this issue and I am sure that God was behind this practice. At least now in my old age, I can do it!


Wednesday, August 23


“10 a.m., Harvey regenerates into a tropical depression about 535 miles (860 kilometers) southeast of Port O’Connor, Texas, with maximum sustained winds of 35 mph (56 kph).” (On Sept. 2, I saw the remnants of Port  O’Connor and the lack of purified water and food for those who lost it all…)


I asked my Mother for help for the pain I get consuming all foods… I have hardly any hunger but I should not stop eating for the good of my body… At times, I have wondered if I should just drink milk on a daily basis until all inflammatory symptoms get better because at times the pain is intolerable. She explained that my plan for my last years on earth written on August 11 was from God and good. She added, “However, if you are seeking as the main reason to follow the plan of prayer and suffering, to have a better health and vision, then, you would not get much out of the daily Masses and Holy Hours and four Rosaries…”


She added, “The main plan is to do it for PEACE IN THE WORLD, through a massive conversion of the entire planet regardless of race, religion, lack of God in their lives, violence, etc. You have the opportunity to offer yourself to die to yourself for them. Loving your brothers and sisters is crucial. Otherwise, your prayer and sacrifices may not make you grow in holiness to TRULY HAVE THE GRACE TO OBTAIN PEACE IN THE WORLD.


“Also remember that finishing the book with so many good points for your neighbor to live better lives without dementia or depressions, is essential in your love for them. If death finds you totally consecrated to obtain peace for them after your are gone and if death comes when you are totally dedicated to pray for them and to give glory to God with your close to perfect fiat, then, your blogs and even the book will count at the throne of Mercy for their salvation. Remember what I told you in July: ‘Now you know much about what to do for the Kingdom; however, be certain that you practice it day and night in order to be counted as a great servant of His and as a witness to your brothers and sisters of His love for you and them.’”


Thursday, August 24


“1 p.m., after quickly strengthening over the course of a day, Harvey becomes a hurricane, with maximum sustained winds of 85 mph (140 kph). It is about 325 miles (525 kilometers) southeast of Port O’Connor, and Texas coastal communities in its path are urged to complete their preparations. By midnight, it is upgraded to a Category 2 hurricane and is 220 miles from Port O’Connor, with sustained maximum winds of 100 mph (160 kph).”


Friday, August 25


“2 p.m., Harvey is upgraded to a Category 3 hurricane, with sustained maximum winds of 120 mph (195 kph). It is centered about 75 miles (120 kilometers) southeast of Corpus Christi. By 6 p.m., Harvey is a Category 4 storm just 45 miles from the city, with maximum sustained winds of 130 mph (215 kph).


“Harvey made landfall around 11:00 PM EDT on Friday, August 25 between Port Aransas and Port O’Connor, Texas as a category 4 hurricane. Harvey was the strongest hurricane to impact Texas since 1961 and the first category 4 storm to make landfall in the United States since Hurricane Charley impacted Florida in 2004.”

Saturday, August 26 – Feast of Our Lady Czestochowa


“2 a.m., Harvey is centered about 15 miles inland and is weakening as it slowly passes over land. It has been downgraded to a Category 3, with maximum sustained winds of 115 mph (185 kph). Two hours later, it is downgraded further to a Category 2.


“5 a.m., With maximum sustained winds of 90 mph (150 kph), Harvey is downgraded to a Category 1 storm. Forecasters warn of potentially catastrophic flooding in the coming days.”


As I inclined to wonder what was God trying to tell us with this hurricane, in EWTN/Spanish, I found these words from St. John Bosco. – “Put up willingly with the faults of others if you want them to put up with yours.” I kept thinking of the end times and reviewed what Jesus had said regarding those times, and how we should learn to love all our brothers and sisters regardless as St. Bosco said.


The temperature outside was high (106 F). I had too much pain… I decided to ask the Lord through the intercession of Our Lady from Poland, to help me because the suffering was close to untenable. I ended up praying 9 Rosaries for the chaotic state of Texas and for me.


Sunday, August 27


From St. Philip Neri: “People are sometimes the carpenters of their own crosses.”


I had these words in my mind… Was I making my own crosses? I was up at 4 AM P.T. praying the Holy Rosary with EWTN/Spanish. Yet the pain was beyond my capacity to go to Mass. (Unbeknown to me, this suffering was exacerbated for one reason only and I had not yet even figured this out, that is, why the suffering was getting worse by the day and even eating little of the offensive foods More on this subject later).


This suffering not only consisted of pain in my knees and legs (the latter as of the last two months) but also it has to do with my medical knowledge and knowing that this intensity of pain tends to raise my blood pressure. This pushes me to take hi amounts of the medication lisinopril. The toxicity itself, keeps my immune system working overtime against all foods and also affecting all my internal organs. It can also star a cancerous growth at any area of my body. So, this cross is made of many parts and by paying too much attention to my medical knowledge, I could be the carpenter of my own crosses…


On this particular Sunday, I ended up realizing about the suffering of Our Lady when her little Baby was supposed to be beheaded and they had to travel on donkeys to Egypt… Wow… And before that, the suffering of having to give birth to a child and no one giving them a room to stay? What about St. Joseph’s carpentry shop, the source of money for their living and that had to be abandoned when they left for Egypt, where they did not know for how long they would live there and for St. Joseph to find a job and provide for the family? What about Our Lady’s nutrition needed to make enough breast milk for her Son?  What about the meaning of going back to Egypt after Moses and Joshua had brought Israel to the Promised Land? Eventually, they had to come back to their city and start all over again!


Well, I am sure that the Holy Family, specially the mother and father, were totally sure of being servants of God and survived this cross due to their faith, hope and love for the Father… I ended up understanding that in my case of severe pain, at least I am living in a large home with all possible needs taken care of, under the protection of my son and soon to leave this so toxic area… The example of the Holy Family started to give me hope and accept what is going on because God is in charge. Here came a point of poor self-denial, where my will is to feel better but His will is to allow me to suffer for the salvation of souls, as Our Lady of Fatima told the children.  Any fear or doubt that God is the best physician to end my symptoms of toxicity, are simply a waste of time on my part.


What bothers me even more is to forget stories like the one that follows, when God had a plan for our lives as a family and we just followed His orders and miracles occurred. This event should serve me to trust that all the problems with my health have a reason to be, and that He will solve them in His time. I am purposely writing the story for me to keep it more at hand in my memory files in order to trust more in His mercy!


Monday, August 28


Harvey: “As of 7:30 AM EDT Monday August 28, there were 291,181 customer power outages across Texas and no significant power outages in Louisiana. Impacted utilities have issued statements that they are expecting power outages to last several days. Restoration efforts cannot begin until weather conditions are safe. High rainfall total and flooding could extend restoration times in many affected areas. Before equipment in flooded areas can be reenergized, waters will need to recede and equipment at substations will need to dry out and be inspected for damage. Additionally, before customers can have electricity restored to homes or business impacted by flooding, customers need to have electrical equipment inspected. As of Sunday 22% of the oil production 25.7% of the natural gas production in Gulf of Mexico are shut-in as a precaution and most refineries were shutdown. Retail gas station outages have been reported in the impacted region; however, overall stocks of gasoline and distillate in the region are at or above the top end of the 5-year range. DOE is working closely with the Energy Information Administration to further assess potential impacts at both a regional and national level.”


This whole scenario as described above is simply unbelievable… Harvey was getting less ominous but resurged again and destroyed the peace of so many people in different ways.


On this date, my Deacon son and wife celebrated their 13th anniversary of their wedding. Their marriage has been a total corporal and spiritual success. I have shared parts of this story before but I have been led to repeat it 1) just to PROVE the importance to adhere to God’s will. 2) Also, it can demonstrate another way of discerning such will because He can be very clear when He wants us to suddenly do something with our lives that seems to be absurd. 3) It helps our discernment when we are the ones moved to change the course of our life since it can demonstrate how we can use our trust in Him and simply ask to show us the way based on His Word that for God all things are possible, and believe it…His mercy can do it all if we simply trust in His love for us. And how to get to such trust?


THERE IS NO DOUBT IN MY MIND that the fastest way to trust in God’s love is to DO HIS WILL at every moment of the day; when we do not know what His will is, we simply tell Him to lead us to understand it and that is enough for Him to guide us. It works because we are loving Him with super self denial when we simply ask Him to guide us to do His will. It is soo simple… This our self-denial to which we add the embrace of such cross… opens the door for the Holy Spirit to take us to follow His guidance. (More to come on the embrace of our crosses!)


Below is what I wrote to my son and wife as part of my congratulation for their anniversary. This is also the son who almost died at birth due to medical errors and he was also discharged with the possibility that he would be a retarded child. Today, he holds a Master degree in Theology and has become a Deacon! God had a plan and saw to it that it would be fulfilled.


“I have thought of your anniversary for days since it has been extremely present because it happened in HOUSTON….!!!! Texas (now very present in the news due to Harvey) on Thursday, May 4th, 1979 on the Feast of the Ascension of Jesus and I had been to Mass as required by the Church on those days. I was attending a medical meeting and on that evening, I used some time to read the Bible (the Gideon’s Protestant version), which I always I do in hotels. I was led to go to a particular page and it was Joshua 4. I was told that just as Joshua had crossed the Jordan River with the Israelites in route to the Promised Land, that our family would cross a new  river in our family life and WOULD NOT GET WET. I then was told to move out of Mishawaka, IN, (from a home we had just purchased some 6 months before and one where I had finished the basement and had added three more bedrooms and another family room). I heard also that jobs for both of us would be offered and to accept them!!!


I returned home on Sunday afternoon and that evening, Kaiser Permanente from Cleveland called offering us jobs. I would be the chief of the department of anesthesia (because I was Board certified in Anesthesiology and with more years of experience) and your father would be one of the anesthesiologists as well. As he was telling them that we were not interested, I quietly told him to accept and to at least go and talk to them. Your father accepted but he was totally lost as to why I was telling him that. He had worked at Kaiser before we all moved to So. Bend/Mishawaka, IN area and we knew that they paid very poorly. After he hanged up, I took him to my prayer room (by the way, because I had added three bedrooms in the basement, I could have one bedroom in the first floor just for prayer). I explained to him what I had heard the previous Thursday. Miraculously, he did not object to this kind of “crazy” plan (he was a fallen away Catholic) and went to Cleveland and we were offered very good salaries and combined we would make $350,000. (Notice that when God directs us, He smoothes the course).


It was this move that placed you, my son, closer to Steubenville. In the other hand, attending St. Ignatius High School who had these sophomore trips to different places, you traveled with your class to some country (believe it was the Dominican Republic) where you apparently felt attracted to become a theologian. In Steubenville you found your now brother in law and later your wife and the rest is history. Because of the horrible destruction of the city of Houston, I have thought about this story of God sending us to Cleveland that would never had happened if I had not received such clear call to proceed regardless that we had to sell our home in Indiana and look for another in Cleveland and worse, for me to join a hospital that was not my favorite and turned out to be a nightmare. Yet, the Holy Spirit was guiding us… At times I have wondered what would had happened if we had not obeyed these orders!”


As you can see, my reader, God directed Abraham, Moses, Joshua and Our Lady to accept jobs that seemed impossible and all turned out to be the product of a yes to God’s will while carrying heavy crosses to follow Him. It also helps me to remember this story because our move to Alabama has come as a miracle when my son was retained as an employee in his company and given permission to work from home… I needed to get out of this very toxic area and had asked the Lord for help. He delivered… So, the cross of my bad health must be embraced!


Wednesday, August 30


This was the day when I received an explanation for much of what I had experienced on this month.


About Hurricane Harvey: I have understood that God ALLOWED such disaster to clearly show us that it is impossible to be divided according to the color of our skin or race…because we all have seen in Texas how blacks, whites and Hispanics have loved each other and served each other during this brutal explosion of Nature’s forces. Strangers helped strangers and they all became one. And I suspect that God used this means to make sure that we understand that using His Word to lie and divide as the KKK’s  interview revealed, it must have been directed by demonic forces… The color of the skin and the different features of our external look are different but our internal organs are of one color and physical appearance… and are all the same worldwide. As an anesthesiologist, I saw thousands of internal organs and all were the same! I could not distinguish any difference… The liver of a black person was identical to the liver of a white person!


My sons have a mixed background. I am Hispanic but possessing the genetics for a white skin, blue or green eyes and all my grandchildren (5 of them) from two different sons, are  also white looking. My ancestors for the most came from the Canary Islands with a heavy mixture of white and Hebrew genes. My intelligence was always recognized as very high. My husband was a mixture of African American and white (Dominican Republic) and he was very intelligent. One of my sons was declared a genius by two of his high school teachers and his expertise is in computer science. Another is also a well known researcher in kidney problems. My oldest is very good at computer graphics and my Deacon son has also been a success in regards to his Theology studies. The Nazis and followers were extremely confused. I am super sure that Satan worked very hard on this German founder (Hitler) who was Catholic and who killed millions of people.


I am also super sure that this confusion on the supremacy of a minority represents one of the worse sins ever committed and with no scientific background; of course, the worse sin has been killing the Son of Man…In the other hand, what happened with Harvey can also represent a call for all of us to undergo a daily conversion where prayer and suffering go together to remind us that God is Mercy Himself. No matter what goes on in this tiny planet of this huge universe, our Father loves us sooo much. His Son gave His life for us in the cruelest way possible and His Holy Spirit was sent to live within us and keep our Church as the mother that provides us with Sacraments to receive God’s Spirit. To top the story, just to have the Son of God’s real Presence everywhere in the world, is enough for all of us to drop our differences and to seek God’s mercy to love Him profoundly by always doing His will, and to love everyone with all our heart. He will take care of the rest.


Regarding the words of Jesus, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross and follow Me” and in some other translation it says, “must embrace his cross,” I understood the following, which is a repetition but worth it to be written again:


Denial of self is the same than saying that we deny ourselves of our own will and do His will to show God how much we love Him. In the other hand, carrying or embracing our crosses speaks of holding on to our crosses. It does not mean to get rid of them since taking up our crosses or embracing them are actions opposite to dropping them and running away from them… IT ALSO MEANS that these are  not just words but that we  have to practice this holding or embracing them and it can only be done by clearly saying “yes” to the crosses,  and at no moment asking God to make them disappear or even change them.


In my entire spiritual life I have never truly cherished my crosses second to second, even that I understood their importance and once in a while thanked God for them. Yet, many times I asked God for them to go away altogether or at least to be less painful. I never saw in this act of embrace of my crosses a SUPER powerful way to bring salvation to my neighbor. Yes, I would offer the suffering for them but never truly WANTING TO KEEP THOSE CROSSES around forever. I have asked many times to get health and only a few times I have accepted my suffering wit h great joy. I always have joy but it comes from my God and I usually did not connect it with my crosses… and I never truly thought that I was joyful about the terrible pain I had. Only once, Jesus said to the Father to change His will during His Passion but immediately added, “But not my will but Yours be done.”  I have finally understood that my pain getting so bad was allowed by my Father for me to be purified and lead me to clarify the Holy Spirit’s guidance in this matter…


In another side of this teaching, yes, prayer is very important to keep me afloat; yet, I needed to understand that He truly needs me to suffer and embrace the associated cross, so that I can become the best disciple to save many souls. The practice of the LOVE OF GOD is best practiced with 100% self-denial. The practice of the LOVE OF NEIGHBOR is best practiced by praying for their salvation and by embracing all suffering and never thinking of opposing or diminishing the pain of each cross. If toxicity around is destroying my body, well, I must totally agree with this destruction for the sake of saving souls. Our Lady in Fatima was clear inviting the children to suffer and atoning for the countless sins (like abortion on demand), and begging God for these sinners’ conversion. I WILL REPEAT her message to emphasize our need to become eager to suffer BUT out of love for our neighbor.


OUR LADY OF FATIMA: “Will you offer yourselves to God to accept all the sufferings which He may send to you in reparation for the countless sins by which He is offended and in supplication for the conversion of sinners?”


With these two first parts well practiced of His teaching on discipleship, following Him is sooo easy… and holiness becomes doable. Jesus happened to pick up His cross and embrace it. Yet, if we drag our crosses and pray to get rid of them, we are not following Jesus’ teaching. Of course, Satan will work overtime trying to divide us, confuse us, continue with past misunderstandings and resentments, etc, and all to keep us distracted on the meaning of how to become a true disciple. 


The medicines against Satan and for our minds and hearts is to ask our Mother to pray for us (the Rosary) and receiving the Eucharist in the state of grace, at least once per week. All of this under the strict practice of discipleship. ONCE WALKING INTHIS WAY, evangelization of the entire world will be fairly easy and successful because we would have opened our hearts to the Holy Spirit for us to go and truly become light for others. We then can become witnesses of Christ and move others to action for a conversion that fixes its eyes on becoming a TRUE DISCIPLE…who loves God, loves neighbor and follows Jesus by practicing His teaching.


Twice in this month I have felt the same desire to live near Him, just as I received at age 61/2. Never before had I felt that need since then. In fact, this trip to Alabama seems to be a call to dedicate my last years on earth living near Him and spending time with Him, suffering whatever and truly embracing my crosses according to His will in this matter, all offered in atonement for all sins and the salvation of the entire world . I want to die as a disciple who practices her trade to be considered a TRUE follower of my Master.


Saturday, September 2


The pain in my inferior limbs gets worse by the day…This is due to the toxicity over my immune system which reacts more and more to all foods. Eating has become a major problem for me. The medication only diminishes somewhat this feeling. Moving to another far away state will be a real tough action since I have to get rid of many books and some furniture and the like. The home is in construction and my daughter-in-law that lives in Birmingham, keeps sending pictures to my son hat she takes on week-ends about the building that will be our home. I am praying for the company owners and workers that are doing this job so that they do not cheat with the quality of the material… Satan of course will be busy… and the Lord has come at the right time to alert me that the extra suffering brought up by the move, can truly be used in a powerful way for peace in the world and for all the victims of Harvey, etc. I feel that I am attending the school to graduate one day as a better disciple.


Sunday, September 3


I was very surprised that the Gospel for this Sunday is exactly about Jesus’ definition of discipleship … Yet, I had not recently read about how St. Peter tried to stop Jesus from His upcoming ordeal and death. The first Pope would become the devil if he had tried to dissuade Jesus from the will of His Father. Wow! Do I become a demon if I disobey the will of the Father for me? Well, this explains how so much hatred and division we have in the world, especially on this particular Sunday when North Korea announced how it successfully tested an advanced hydrogen bomb!!!


Of course, the origin of lack of peace in the world comes from our disobedience to the will of God for each one of us…OUR PRAYER SHOULD BE a daily request to the Father  in the Name of the Heart of Jesus for all of us, personally and for the rest of us, to do God’s will. All logic is present since Satan was thrown out of heaven precisely due to disobedience. Also, original sin came to contaminate all of us through Satan asking Adam and Eve to disobey God and eat of the fruit of the tree that they were forbidden to do!!!! IT IS ALL IN THE FIRST CHAPTERS OF SCRIPTURE…


What about it if some of us could start praying at least one daily ROSARY for the intention of keeping our obedience to do God’s will at all cost and saying a chaplet of Mercy, asking God’s Mercy upon us to be able to do so? As for me, I will embrace my crosses like never before and offer them to bring the entire world to comprehend this truth and to become obedient to all that God is calling them to do…!!! I now understand how Our Lady and Jesus became POWERFUL witnesses of the importance to say “YES” to the Father’s will… Even Jesus was tempted three times by Satan to precisely do His own will and change the course of His work on this earth, of course, disobeying the Father’s will… IT IS ALL THERE and I never was instructed by anyone to think in these terms!!!


I thank God at this moment for all this suffering that purified me when this month of August 2017, I accepted it in a different and more profound way. My purification allowed my eyes to see this truth and yes, now I am ready to intercede for peace in the world as I suffer and offer it for all of us to show a blind obedience to the will of God.


PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS… I truly need them to use these upcoming rough times during this move to Alabama for the glory of God, to love Him like never before with complete obedience to His will, and to love my brothers and sisters also like never before. I will place as an intention in my daily prayers, the offering of my suffering for any of you who are helping me so much with your own prayers, especially to have the Holy Spirit bless you with a personal understanding of what you should do in your private lives to perfectly obey God’s will. And when I say obedience to God’s will, it does not just cover our present vocation. It covers obedience to Him at every hour of the day for everything He wants us to do or suffer.


Of course, our own Mother was instructing the little shepherds to show their obedience when she asked them, “Will you offer yourselves to God to accept all the sufferings which He may send to you (perfect obedience to God’s will) in reparation for the countless sins by which He is offended and in supplication for the conversion of sinners (through perfect obedience to the will of God)?” There is no doubt in my mind that today’s Gospel Matthew 16: 21-27, had the greatest clue for us to be faithful to… And I will suffer much through the move and work to be done for it; yet, I will be totally open to such suffering to show obedience to God’s will for my son and I. It will be offered for many to find and accept this truth and become faithful obedient children of the



There is one more interesting point. I have suffered a lot with unjust persecutions in the professional field. I never could understand why God allowed it… Well, the reasons for the suffering or the kind of suffering are not important at all… What it is important is to say yes to whatever suffering as proof of self denial, that is to put our will to the side and accept God’s will even in cases of injustice. The Lord tried me with so many tough moments, but my acceptance (I never recall to be upset with Him because of them) was the important point to build my character as a true obedient disciple. Once I was obedient to whatever happened, I was able to forgive my persecutors and heal any resentment. The quality of my spiritual life depended on my suffering that was not rejected, a form of obedience to God’s will. Of course, I never truly embraced these crosses as I understand to do now, but I lived them a day at the time. I never thanked God for them but I never resented God for allowing them. My persecutors did not become a stone in my spiritual life. I suppose that my obedience to the suffering although imperfect, kept me from wishing them any harm.


I also must add here that submitting to God’s will during these crosses rendered me with great blessings. For example: my fallen away Catholic husband upon learning in November of the year 2000 that he had 6 months to live, he went to confession and received Communion and died very peacefully in front of two of us  I kept losing attachments to anything or anybody. I made a lot of money and had huge homes and expensive cars (3 Mercedes Benz) but I gave all away, including the money because I had no attachment to them. I never missed my mother, father, maternal grandmother (like a second mother to me) or husband when they died… I never knew why but now I finally understand the powerful blessings of doing the will of God always.


P.S. : Please forgive my possible mistakes upon writing this document. My eyes are not happy with their use for long periods of time. And thank you again for your prayers.


August 6, 2017

Once more I am super late in posting this blog. I grew up with signs of perfectionism and it becomes a cross when I cannot finish a job on time! However, I am in training to accept all that God allows as His most wonderful will for me… Therefore, I am sure that there is a reason for it.

My human reasons for the delay are obviously due to deep pain, now not only in both knees but along both legs. Apparently, the new pain in the legs come from fibromyalgia. Again, let me review what toxicity is doing to my body… Toxics in general and in my case, petroleum chemicals affect my immune system cells, most of which live in my small intestine. They produce chemicals when they encounter (nowadays) any food… Some foods are worse than others. Yet, anything I eat will make these cells upset. The chemicals produced by the immune cells pass into my blood and the reaction causes inflammation everywhere, even in my internal organs like kidneys, liver, etc. and inflammation produces pain.

There are days that I have breakfast at 4 or 5 PM… and nothing else until the following day. In between I drink some cups of milk with some of the medications. I use electro-acupuncture to diminish the pain. Until a few days ago, I took Tramadol for pain but had to wait for 7-8 hours between doses; this is because it was ordered every 6 hours three times a day. Yet, the day has 4 different 6 hours parts… The pain would be unbelievable and this does bring my blood pressure up to numbers very dangerous for a stroke! This cross was truly horrific. At least, my primary physician helped me by ordering a dose every 6 hours, times four to cover the 24 hours of the day and still not to go over the top dose for this drug. I am 100% certain that I have no symptoms of addiction to tramadol. Even in these circumstances, I felt the call to say YES to His will for me and offer it up for those dying that day and their conversion. Of course, this was hardest before I learned about a quote from St. JP II to be mentioned later.

The need to get out of this area is necessary and ASAP. My Lord is answering this need but the move will take time. Once I get out, I can detoxify my body and it also means like showering the immune cells so that they stop reacting to any food with so many chemicals. This will take care of inflammation and of pain altogether. This is a cross for me because I have no idea how much it is affecting important internal organs. This entire scenario pleads for my soul and mind to say to the Lord, “Yes, Lord, I accept Your will.” At the bottom of this entire story, the call is for me to TRUST IN HIS MERCY. The latter is the most important gift I could receive. No doubt about it!

I am forced to make this message a little short in the details. I will try just to write about the core of the matter for each story lived in the month of July and part of August.


Our St. John Paul II said: “Prayer and sacrifice constitute the most powerful force in human history.” (WOW)

This seems to mean that when we are called to pray for the horrors going on in the world and that we have to deal with our suffering in the most holy way and unite it with much prayer. The greatest form of suffering is self denial. Our Jesus said it clearly when He spoke about being His true disciple, “Deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow Me.” Any of us that claims we have a personal relationship with Him, must be aware that we are ALSO faithful practitioners of His definition above. If we are always trying to do what we supposedly discerned we should do for the Kingdom, we must unite this conviction with our practice of surely being a true discipleship. If we try to do our will, even the best it could seem, and ask God to help us in accomplishing it, we are not truly being faithful to be a follower of Jesus and therefore, our work for the Kingdom despite asking for help from Him, may not have much success. I mean by success to be converted on a daily basis.

Another thing regarding this point: I hear many say that they called the Holy Spirit to help them discern what they should do to evangelize, and then proceed because they submitted themselves to the Holy Spirit’s guidance. Sorry but they are confused…

1. In order to be super sure we are truly hearing the Holy Spirit’s guidance, we must live as a true disciple…If we are living a very good Christian life and try to pray and love our neighbor but never say a complete YES to God’s will at each moment of our lives, and if we do not accept our crosses to the point of loving them because they are part of the spiritual force needed to evangelize (St. J.P. II), well, we are a little confused in this matter. In fact, if we feel called to work for the Kingdom, our first step is to pray and embrace our crosses to the best of our abilities, even praying for His help to do so; then and for sure, the Holy Spirit will come to us with ideas, power and God’s mercy to do many wonderful things through us… A little later I will give a major example from the Old Testament of someone and well known by all of us who truly lived such life!

2. Even more, trying to become the best true disciple, it also requires that as a primary duty we keep identifying our sins and repenting for them but trying not to repeat them, even the minor ones, and that we seek regularly the blessing from Jesus through a Priest to forgive our sins at the reconciliation booth.

3. Added to that, we have to LOVE OUR NEIGHBOR in everything, and one of the most important ways is to ask God for His mercy for us to forgive those who trespass against us…This should be done daily if possible. Again, the mentioned Old Testament story is a witness to this gift.

4. We must always have Our Mother at our side and frequently call for her help plus we must pray the Rosary to secure her protection from the evil one.

5. Finally we are ready to receive our Master degree or doctorate to go on and evangelize the entire world and do it with power and love for God and for our brothers and sisters. This is a form of trusting in God’s mercy to give us what we need regarding our own conversion in order to truly be another Christ for others.


Monday July 3

As mentioned before in my last blog, I followed the opening of the national Convention of Catholic Leaders. My own Deacon son was present in Orlando, Fl. I heard many excellent talks, but I did not find one of them emphasizing what the personal formation of the leader needs to secure on a daily basis, so that they can be powerful CONDUITS for the Holy Spirit to convert many souls. Doing the will of God is mentioned but not openly asserted that it is the key of evangelization.

On this same day, I realized that one day (May 24th) before the teaching of last month on May 25th when I received the guidance to ask my Father in the Name of Jesus to say YES to His will from the bottom of my heart, I had re-started my devotion to Baby Jesus. I found by chance a paper where I had typed the prayer that Fr. Juan del Rizzo in the Barrio 20 de Julio (suburb of Bogota, Colombia) had composed as a novena to Baby Jesus. The paper also had a note where I wrote that I had consecrated myself to the Baby on August 2016 and had promised to pray the novena on a continuous basis… Somehow, I stopped doing it in later months. The moment I did it again on May 24 of this year and 24 hours later, I received the call to ask my Father for help to say Yes to His will in the Name of His Son. And now, I am in route to the place that el Divino Niño was brought to the United States, Birmingham AL… which means that I am in route to make Him company. God does weird things in our daily walk with Him and it takes time to realize how much detail is involved in our spiritual lives.

I must clarify that in the last blog, I related the importance of moving to Birmingham in order to have to medical protection for my maladies from my son and his wife. I did not mention EWTN because I am always with them… Every morning at 5 AM PT, I am LIVE with my adorable Priests who are celebrating the Sacrifice of the Mass. Just moving closer to them does not change anything. I do not plan to visit them since they would have no need of my personal attention. I will keep close to them for the daily LIVE Mass and pray much for them as I have done for many years.  I hope that I could visit my Lord exposed a few times a month in the Chapel but not during the celebration of any particular Mass. The same happens to  me when I hear people getting excited in visiting where Jesus lived in the Holy Land… I rather visit not where He lived but where He lives now in a Catholic church where He is PRESENT in the Tabernacle!!!

Also during this July 3rd, I woke up and had left the TV on EWTN. I found by chance a wonderful teaching which I had heard in the past from already departed Fr. Thomas Dubay.  He discussed the meaning of HEROIC VIRTUE. It is the power to be and enhance owns life but doing it surpassing all human capacity. For example, suffering does not produce any grumbling. His teaching helped me embrace my crosses in a powerful way. Again, here is the Lord moving me to turn on the television in the very early hours of the morning and listening to this great priest.

He gave a huge example never to be forgotten and also tied up with the story of the Old Testament to be presented later. He asked, “What would you do if you come home and find it ransacked, empty…?” What is your reaction to find out that you have been stripped of your belongings and find yourself happy about it!!!?” This is heroic virtue and it comes from knowing that you have much more than earthly possessions. He added that the Saints live this way, not attached to anything on earth. They live according to the Lord’s Word. AMAZING TEACHING for me!

Wednesday, July 5

By CHANCE AGAIN, and probably going on since the previous Monday, I found a miniseries in one of the Hispanic TV channels, one that is the largest channel among 4 of them that I know of. Every evening and part of the afternoon, this Channel, Univision, runs soap operas. Low and behold, I found a one hour program at 8 PM titled, “Jose de Egipto” or Joseph from Egypt…. This is the program mentioned above. It is an extraordinary miniseries (40 one hour chapters) doubled in Spanish from the Portuguese and produced in Brazil in 2013… Perhaps has been aired in EWTN/Spanish but it did not have this channel or so I thought for at least 3 years ago.  

I was totally fascinated. How can they have the guts to place a story of the Bible right at 8 PM. Soon after, I found out that every Sunday at 8 PM they were presenting “The Miracles of Jesus…” Even more, as soon as Jose de Egipto is finished on August 7 with two hours, it will be followed by one new miniseries to start at 10 PM, The Promised Land!!!!! I know that The Ten Commandments were aired in another channel that belongs to Univision and it is called Unimás. However, Unimás is a secondary channel and not the one which airs the latest in news.

This was extraordinary news for me… especially because Joseph is well depicted according to the Bible as a super religious young man who is almost killed by 10 of his 11 brothers and saved in order to be sold as a slave to be taken to Egypt. God had prepared Joseph with the gift of interpreting dreams and he was able, despite of being a slave of Egypt’s Pharaoh, to foretell for him that there would be 7 years of great prosperity followed by 7 years of a drought. He advised the King to collect enough grain in the first 7 years and use it during the bad 7 years that followed.

We all know this story but I HAD NEVER SEEN IT portrayed in the screen. It taught me important lessons and left me images that I will never forget… José de Egipto will be in my mind like never before. This is what I found interesting in this story:

1. God had a plan for Israel to protect them from the consequences of the drought and this made his brothers extremely envious of Joseph whose father Jacob also known as Israel favored José and mentioned him to be the best son, even that he was rather young, versus Ruben who was supposed to be considered the father’s favorite for being the eldest. Their envy sent Joseph to Egypt and to endure much suffering when Joseph was accused (as a slave) of trying to seduce the wife of Putiphar, the captain of the palace guard, for which Joseph endured years in prison, all of this prior to the interpretation of the dreams.

2. God gave Joseph not only the way to become very accepted by Pharaoh for interpreting his dreams and save Egypt from starvation, but God also made possible for Joseph to treat well the jailers and they became friends with him, even after they had treated him poorly as a Hebrew slave who had committed a terrible act. JOSEPH NEVER COMPLAINED (heroic virtue).

 3. Joseph became the governor of all Egypt. In time, his brothers came from Cana to buy grain after a very long trip on foot crossing the desert … His brothers did not recognize him and Joseph gave grain to them but kept one in jail so that they would bring to Egypt his younger brother Benjamin, who had the same mother as Joseph, in order for him to meet him. Eventually, Joseph told them who he was and PADORNED all of them… Again, this is a case of heroic virtue. His brothers did not believe that Joseph was not seeking revenge… They could not believe the sanctity of Joseph but eventually asked for his pardon.

4. At all times, Joseph explained to his Egyptian wife and others that his God had permitted all his trials in order to come to Egypt and in time provide the sustenance for his family. Egypt had many gods and even Pharaoh realized the power of the God of Israel. He was proud of Joseph for not even wanting to bow in front of any of their god statues because his own God would not allow it… So, Joseph was a phenomenal evangelizer. His faith and hope and love for all were well known in Egypt.

THIS miniseries gave me so much hope… Our God, even before Jesus came to save us, always showed His mercy… and chose Joseph to be His representative. The example of Joseph of not wanting to take revenge is an exquisite reminder that we have to PARDON everybody and immediately after we feel any form of resentment. Joseph prefigures Jesus actions and this comes from my mind… The Lord did not say it to me… I could be wrong but from now on until I die, the name of Joseph is going to remind me not only of the foster father of Jesus but of a saintly young man who never felt the desire of taking revenge for the horrors suffered through the actions of his brothers… And to see this Biblical story in prime time… with others to follow, gives me so much hope and a little pride on my Hispanic background in the U.S., now that we Hispanics need to LOVE instead of RESENTING some of the actions on immigration. God knows what He is doing… I keep praying Rosaries for our Government officials and for all who keep distracting us with hatred against the President who keeps adding ways to get rid of our culture. Joseph from Egypt has given me a wonderful month of prayer for all democrats that constantly attack the President, rather than resent them…

Friday, July 7

After asking my Father in the Name of His Son to give me the grace to do His will, I received this message:

“Every morning review what could be the will of God for you for that day. For example, today make a resolution NOT TO THINK at all what is needed to be done for the move to Alabama and resolve to say yes to whatever God wants, YET TOTALLY CONVINCED that God will lead you to solve those problems proper to a big move but in the easiest and most perfect way. The move is God’s with you following Him and everything will be perfect. No worries should be present or any questions as to how to proceed with planning the move. Trust in His love that He will see to it and all will be done perfectly. Keep your prayer life active and stop all evil with the Rosary. However, keep alert as to how you can save souls with your suffering for the day.”

I immediately understood that I should have no plans or waste one second wondering about anything regarding the move.

Saturday, July 8

I had thought much as to how drive my car to Birmingham. Was I able to do it since my vision is not the best? Then my son and I realized that I needed a driver for the car. Another problem besides not been able to read the name of roads or streets, is that we would have to stop many times for me to empty my bladder due to the mistake done with recent surgery. This would make the trip long and difficult. On this day and after praying the Rosary, I clearly realized that I should fly first class and sit next to the bathroom… If I needed the bathroom, at least I could squeeze in fast and possible with the stewardesses understanding my bladder problems.

On this day, the realtor in Birmingham had come back from vacation and would start getting information for my son on homes he had given to him to check up. I started praying for this man so that Satan would not interfere with the plans of God for the home that He had already chosen for us!

Friday, July 14

I felt asleep on my chair and woke up while the late show of Stephen Colvert was going on. He was making a joke as to how we should make hosts without gluten to consecrate them and help those we are allergic to it. He said that he was Catholic and apparently it is his practice to go to confession with the audience and asks the audience to give him absolution, of course all as a joke. I felt desperate and nauseous but remembered José de Egipto and said a prayer for Mr. Colvert and included his name in my community Rosary!

Monday, July 17

This was the anniversary of my Baptism in the Church of Our Lady of Mercy in San Jose, Costa Rica. I have mentioned before how San Jose has 5 major churches forming a cross and all dedicated to our Lady. The center of the Cross has the Cathedral dedicated to the Immaculate Conception. On the same street and east (some 20 blocks away) one finds Our Lady of Solitude; west of the Cathedral and on the same street one finds Our Lady of Mercy where I was baptized. North of the Cathedral and on the same street, one finds the church of Mount Carmel; south of the Cathedral on the same street we find Our Lady of Dolor’s church or Dolores in Spanish. There is no question that we are very Marian. On August 2, we celebrate the feast of Our Lady of the Angels but one who appeared 2 centuries ago in the city of Cartago, 45 minutes drive from San Jose. It is now a Shrine.  She appeared in the form of a small wooden woman with a child to an Indian girl and asked for a church to be built. Every August 1, thousands of people walk from everywhere to see her in Cartago. I was named after her!!! (Maria Antonieta de los Angeles)

Thursday, July 20

I remembered that the Divino Niño devotion started in the Barrio 20 de Julio, and this was the first time that I was able to remember the name of this town exactly on a July 20 and where He spoke to Mother Angelica

Friday, July 21 to Monday, July 24

My son flew to Birmingham to see the homes south of it and in suburbs that are closer to my other son and wife’s home. Most of the homes were in the city of Hoover but one of them a little west of Hoover, turned out to be our final choice. It is going to be built and be ready by the end of November. It does not have stairs (for my own good), with 4 bedrooms and 21/2 baths. We also chose it because it is located further away from the only petro-refinery in Birmingham plus it will have the latest technology to economize energy… It is located very close to a brand new store soon to open…, Whole Food, where we buy here all the organic food… This was a major attraction as well. There is one other Whole Food but very far from this area of new homes. My son attended Mass in a large parish in Hoover but there is a closer parish to this home, Prince of Peace. I hope that it will be a nice place for me.

All in all, I am still super fascinated with the way our change of address and State came to be, an event that only God could have put together. There is no doubt that my younger son had to reside there and my health requirement to find good doctors. He did his specialization in nephrology at Massachusetts General Hospital, a part of Harvard. He then did another specialization in research in nephrology. He was offered to do it at Harvard but he chose a university in Miami, FL. Once he finished, he was offered to return to Harvard as a researcher and nephrologist. However, he decided to choose the University of Alabama at Birmingham. It was there that he found his wife, a PhD in Optometry…And now we are in route to Alabama because I need the protection of someone who can lead me to a good doctor, and not end up with medical errors suffered my entire life (9 of them), including when he was born in Ann Arbor, MI…His wife can direct me to find the best ophthalmologist in the area… This story points to the same theme of how God has a plan for each one of us, and as in the case of Joseph from Egypt, the plan is always perfect for our good and that of others.

 Friday, July 21

While my son was flying to Birmingham, I prayed much and after the 12:30 PM Rosary in Spanish… I wrote what I had understood during my prayer.

“The Rosary works as much as I am in the state of acceptance of God’s will for that moment with a sense of perfect trust that whatever is going on (my son in route to look at homes) and going to be is perfect and necessary in the plan of my salvation and for others, plus with my heart forever thankful for such a plan, including my repentance for each time that I did not do His will!

“I must always remember that at no time of my hour by hour “yes” to God’s will, should I wonder about what is coming. This is not only a waste of time but an attempt to be in charge of my future. Also, at no time should I remember what I prefer and wish to happen! On the contrary, I should be thankful for the most perfect future for me, as I live saying “yes” to my Father’s will. It is full of a 100% wisdom as to what I should be doing as a daughter of my Dad, a disciple of Jesus and totally dedicated to be guided by Their Love, that is the Holy Spirit.

“In this state of conscious obedience to God, dressed in repentance whenever I failed to do so and full of thanksgiving for being able to submit to His plan as perfectly as possible, the Rosary becomes a formidable protection from Satan and a powerful help for me to keep obeying at all times.”

Monday, July 31

I had an appointment with my lady doctor since I needed a hand written prescription for the pain medication Tramadol. The time was to be for 10:25 AM. I left at 9:30 AM. Her office is in the middle of a major geographic difficulty since some streets leading to her office are one way and two way in different parts of the same street called Bonifacio. So, I need to end up in the street called Pacheco in order to bypass the one way part that would take me away from her office. I cannot read the names of streets until I am very close to them, so that if I need to make a left turn and I am not in the right place of the street to do so, I have to continue on and try to come back.

Somehow I missed the street that would take me to these streets of Bonifacio and Pacheco. I tried to get back and find the right streets BUT got totally lost. I recognized that I was behind a Macy’s store, a place totally away from those two streets. Worse of all is that I could not read well the name of the streets that I kept passing through. I called my Father and asked Him in the name of Jesus to help me. At one point, I turned right in a small street to go back and try to recognize the area… It turned out to be Pacheco but on the other side. So, I simply waited for the traffic light to take Pacheco towards Bonifacio… The clock was advancing and I was getting delayed for the 10:15 time. Yet, from Pacheco, I took the two way section of Bonifacio and arrived at her office and wrote my name and time of arrival in their record sheet… at 10:10!

When I was done and left, I could not stop thanking my Lord for His love for me. He said, “If I re-routed you when lost, couldn’t I do the same for your move?” Wow!

Tuesday, August 1

This was the anniversary of my Confirmation at age 5…at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception!!!

Different dates in the last 5 weeks – In many occasions I always seek the Lord’s guidance to do my shopping since He knows where I may be needed for the good of the Kingdom or my own good. It amazes me how He directs me and always, always I know that He is the one behind these moves since people around run to help me in every possible way…

But Satan is all over. I suspect that Satan is around me and big time. Twice I have encountered a woman in the women bathroom who does weird things from telling me the very first time the following, “I bow to your beauty.” Later, while I was trying to empty my bladder during the Mass after the homily and before the Consecration, she appeared coming out of a stall in the bathroom and tried to detain me with conversations of all kinds so that I would miss the most important part of the Mass… I may have mentioned my first encounter with her but the second one was horrible as well. All that Satan wanted or so I figured out was for me to resent her just before receiving Him… Again, the case of Joseph from Egypt… Both times I refused to resent her and the grace of God came and I was able to receive the Eucharist in peace…

Satan now uses the famous I-phone to distract everyone, from babies 2 years old and older to teens, adults and old people. It has been established that this generation suffers from a chronic addiction to get information and to know the latest that is going on. Sports have become a form of wasting time but the fun of seeing balls move from one place to another and all producing millions of dollars, is another industry that Satan manages and quite well. In the other hand, this technology is extraordinary and at times I wonder how it became to be. Only geniuses could have led us to live so informed about moment to moment world activities.


The time is here when we have to grow in alertness and the following are points to consider:

1. Not to spend too much time assessing the horrific times that we are living, which only tempts us to resent.

2. Not to try to learn how to tackle all the problems in our lives as couples, as fathers/mothers, as evangelizers. We all know what the problems are but the worse problem is for us to use our human understanding in order to make things better. God has the plan. We simply have to secure our understanding of His plan and do it!

3. Reflecting on the do’s and don’ts for each situation possible in our spiritual life, or giving opinions as to how to evangelize according to human wisdom, psychological pros and cons, etc. can be helpful BUT IT IS NOT ESSENTIAL…

4. Our problems in our Church are huge… I heard a Monsignor say in EWTN that IN EUROPE only 5% of Catholics go to Sunday Mass on a regular basis. In the US, we have a higher percentage of attendance but in general, we are very busy as Martha was, trying to come up with all kinds of programs of evangelization. Our prayer life is fair yet does not take over as first in our daily duties as priests, deacons, parents, religious, etc. IN GENERAL, I see how we call the Holy Spirit to help us… We do not have to call Him. HE IS ALREADY WITHIN US Catholics. We simply have to be present to Him asking for His guidance and obeying the will of God second by second, so that WE CAN HEAR AND UNDERSTAND HIS GUIDANCE for us to be 100% faithful to obeying the Holy Trinity.

5. All our sufferings should be handled as Jesus, Our Mother and all the Saints did… Joseph from Egypt should be a very good example… as to how we most love all people, simply because it is the will of God and Jesus was very clear about it.

6. We must be attentive to the ways Satan will try to make us rebels against God’s will as he did.

7. A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR MOTHER the Virgin Mary is essential to keep the devil at bay. She has been sent through the centuries to offer us her help… In the Rosary, not only we quote Bible verses but ask her to help us… I have found out that when in trouble, let’s say while driving in a very slow expressway, the recitation of the Hail Mary over and over will solve all problems… In fact, I learned to do it just about one year ago… Just calling our Mother is powerful… She cannot change anything but as in the wedding at Canaan, she can ask her Son for help and He will listen if it is agreeable to the will of the Father.

8. WE ARE POWERFUL sons and daughters of our Father. We can bring peace to this world, and lately even within the U.S. that is much needed, if we simply act as God’s kids. If we do not do it, and even if we get TOO involved in all kind of programs at the parish level or through radio or TV, WE DO NOT KNOW THE WAY… I do not want to sound arrogant that I am doing most of what I have preached in this last section of this blog. I cannot do anything. I simply was given special blessings to know my Lord Jesus as a child and the result is that I could never rebel against God’s will on a regular basis. I found out that the more I obey and STOP all worries about what is, will be, etc, I receive many blessings for me and my family… Also, I try very hard not to seek my Lord just to get my ways… The purity of my heart in our relationship is constantly sought.

I want to emphasize that we have the power to change the world for the good if we simply work on ourselves and our way to become true disciples for two reasons: to show God how much we love Him and therefore giving Him glory, and for the good of our brothers and sisters. We are losing many souls to reside in hell.

9. Our program to raise our kids depends on how much we are the best kids of the Holy Trinity. Moving to another State and trying to help my son in the many things we have to give away, throw away or take with us, seems a horrible future with my pain being so brutal… However, it is a great opportunity for me to show my Dad who is in charge… and to offer my sufferings for those who are in route to hell. Now my oldest son who lives in Los Angeles is seriously considering moving to Omaha, NE to live with my Deacon son. He already visited Omaha to try to find out how to get a job since his work is with computer graphics. As I get close to finish my days on earth and I seriously believe that I WILL NOT DIE SOON at all, even that I would love to go, I can see my family of 4 sons getting together… They get along; they love each other; they are good men. They are covered by the mercy of my Lord…!!!

I love you! Have very blessed moments on the great feast days of our Mother of August 15 and 22! She appears in this screen and in my I-phone under the name of Our Lady Queen of the Universe (Aug. 22) who has given me great miracles for friends (1990’s).

P. S. – As always, I thank you for your prayers…. With my body under great suffering, trying to write blogs when my eyes are not in the best shape and ready to move to Alabama in late November, I can only affirm to you that we all are a family and that your prayers for me are super important. I pray daily for all who come to read this blog on a regular basis, and not because I want you to read it, but because God tells me all these things and most likely does it for some of you to read it and change your lives from great spiritual lives to extraordinary ones


July 2, 2017

I am late posting this message but I have much to share with you and my good right eye is not doing well. It has a cataract that one year ago was not huge but I suspect that by now is growing. Of course, my left eye is worse. So far, I cannot come up with writing a long blog because physically I cannot… So, after much discernment and being that this blog will carry the story of huge miracles in my life, I will simply will be succinct and write it all in a shortened fashion…

I will abstain from using the calendar sequence to write what I have learned or what events have come into my life. I will divide the message in three sections:

1. My present status regarding health and what I have learned about it in these past 6 weeks.

2. My spiritual needs and how they have been helped in the last 6 weeks

3. My move from this area and big miracles!!!


My health seems to get worse by the week. Main problem is constantly breathing air full of petroleum toxics. It seems that now my immune system is reacting to all foods. I want to remind you that the most important amount of cells belonging to the immune system is in our gut. So, what we eat or drink meets these cells.

 My youngest son, a physician in Birmingham, AL, gave me the money to order another test for my allergies to foods, chemicals of all sorts, herbs, etc. This is my third one. First one: 2003 when my dentist removed two silver fillings (full of mercury) without avoiding this toxic to enter my blood, and this started my allergies to many things. Normally, nothing happens but when these cells are covered by toxics like the mercury in 2003 and fluoride from anesthetic gases for about 40 years of practice, they become infuriated with many things that reach the gut via what we eat or what we smell that goes through the blood and finds them.

 I had the second test for allergies in 2014. The company is ALCAT and is located in Florida. They send a laboratory employee to draw the blood in my house. I paid $800 for the most complete test due to the gravity of my pain symptoms when I eat the wrong things. The results came and they did not match reality. Many things were supposed to be alright and yet, I reacted to them with much pain… I changed eating chicken with garlic for turkey with plain salt and onions, and I reacted badly… even that the test results said they were O.K…. I called ALCAT and they refused to accept that something was wrong… I lost $800.00… Of course, Satan wanted me to hate them and resent them forever in order to keep me from understanding what you will learn later in this message… I did not fall for it and simply accepted what the will of God had allowed… Of course, it was God Who gave me the grace not to fall for it… and to change my state of mind into a spiritual gain.

In another disaster, about 4 months ago, my blood pressure medication lisinopril had been changed to clonidine. Lisinopril was requiring higher doses. My physician ordered a low dose of clonidine because it is supposed to be super powerful to control blood pressure. Of course, this toxicity for so many years has produced the IMBALANCE OF THE TWO NERVOUS SYSTEMS that control our second to second blood pressures, and reaction to hot or cool weather with severe heat/sweat or exaggerated coldness. This imbalance which when working well  NORMALLY closes somewhat our arteries so that our blood pressure does not drop when we get up from lying down or sitting, or relaxes our arteries when we sit or lay down, apparently also poses a problem of how I react to the different blood pressure medications.

As time passed after I started clonidine, I was having severe problems with dizziness,     By June 5th I was able to identify that this medication was doing these things to me… I am taking Tramadol that gives some degree of sleepiness with Clonidine that produces it as well… 1) It was a serious mistake by my doctor. Clonidine can also produce shortness of breath (we call it SOB and this in our medical conversations. Please do not think of the other meaning for SOB). I remember that going to 8 AM Mass on Sundays was horrible. I would become short of breath without I knowing why… SOB is usually suspected in the case of heart failure! Of course, every early Sunday morning, I would take clonidine for blood pressure… The pharmacy list of secondary effects also instructs about how 2) it also produces excessive urinary output and yes, at Mass I now sit in the last pew to be closer to the bathroom, not only for the problems with clonidine (which I have stopped) but the main reason of my frequent visits to it has to do with the major error when I was operated to correct my urinary bladder drop… Normally I used to sit up front…  3) It also warns to be careful climbing stairs and 4) of giving a feeling of passing out or dizziness plus feeling weak… And yeah, all of them were problems for me as well. So part of my horror in these past months, was mostly produced by clonidine. Worse, 5) I also realized that when I took a very small amount of this drug with lisinopril when dealing with a very high blood pressure, that I am deadly allergic to it… It increases the pain in my knees. Simply put, thanks to my God, I was able to figure out what was behind all my nightmares for the 8 AM Mass of Sunday’s…  

If you add my problems due to the toxicity around this home, the need to move out of this so toxic environment was and is simply a must… My question to my Lord was, “When are You going to get us out of here?”

Of course, my Lord is always around helping out. For example and unfortunately, lately my blood pressures are going up and up… Lisinopril is not taking care of them too well just as before.…But I DID FIND OUT SOMETHING THAT IS HELPING ME… At least for now, when the pressures are very high, I discovered that ½ teaspoon of bicarbonate with water drops my pressure by 40 points at least for an hour or so!!!! God is everywhere in this fight regarding my health. I never knew that bicarbonate could do such a thing…

2. My spiritual needs and how they have been helped in the last 6 weeks.

On Friday, May 26, after praying one of the daily Rosaries, I started reflecting in the readings for the Mass when Jesus said to His disciples, (John 16:23)  “…Amen, amen,  I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My Name, He will give to you.” I realized that many of us are missing the power of His words…!  Well, I suddenly found myself saying this prayer:

“Father, in the Name of Jesus, I ask You to give me the grace to say the most perfect YES to Your will, especially to my crosses, for Your glory and for the salvation of all souls especially those dying today.” I immediately thought, “I finally got it…” Of course, if Our Lady and her Son came to show us the way, the way is in that yes to God’s will, and the best way to do it, is not only wanting to do so but asking the Father in Jesus’ Name to have His mercy help us to be obedient to this spiritual need, one that will save many souls and will solve many problems worldwide…

I now understand that I needed to get to this point of conversion in order for my Lord to get us out of here. My crosses needed to be brutal and heavy, in order to purify my understanding through the power of the Holy Spirit

3. My move from this area and big miracles!!!

Back on February 20, my second son with whom I live and precisely on his birthday, told his bosses that he needed to leave his job. Of course, as mentioned before, he would spend week after week solving the problems of other employees and his own job as data base engineer had to wait, which forced him to go to work on Saturdays, even that it was a day off. Eleven years later, this situation was causing too much tension. Two years ago he tried to leave and they convinced him to stay and he got a big jump in his salary. This time, he was earning the maximum amount and nothing like that could be done. He offered to help out to train other workers to do his job. Of course, he did not have to do that but he is a very dedicated man and in my opinion, a holy man and a genius as was told to me by one of his teachers in hi achool.  They were glad about this offer and told him to stay until the month of June so that he could pick his bonus of $10,000.00!!! PLEASE NOTICE HOW GOD IS SIMPLY TOO MUCHHowever, a bigger miracle was coming!

On my side of things, for me it was urgent to leave this area. I am certain that in scientific terms, I would get cancer (due to toxicity) or a stroke because of the problems with very high blood pressures. With the major error suffered in 2015 when my urologist supposedly lifted my bladder up so that I would not have to visit the bathroom often and as mentioned above, I need to pass urine every 2 hours maximum… So, I cannot take an airplane since my bladder may force me to get up in a moment when I am supposed to sit down due to bad weather, as an example. This cross is a tough one!

In the mean time, Ernie was prepared to start looking for a new job late May into June. From the time that I knew of this plan, I bombarded my Mother with prayer to intercede for us. It would be a tough time but I wanted Mr. Satan to stay out of his way. The future move would require an extensive work to throw out many things; give away many others and select and take some items but well labeled so as to find things wherever home or apartment we get to, and put the rest away in a storage place. As you can imagine, these thoughts were truly giving me much concern, etc. From February 20 to May 26, I did have some concerns.

The future move will take me to another parish and who knows what kind of pastor I will find… It will also take me to new doctors and those are dangerous in many ways… In my case I have had 9 mistakes done by doctors… However, from May 26 I have kept praying every early AM, the prayer alluded above and yes, it has given me extraordinary  fruits… Now, I hardly think of what has to be done before departing this area. I simply have this certitude that yes, God is doing His will in our lives (Ernie’s and mine) and I am simply giving Him permission to take over my life as He so chooses but this time, I am using the Name of Jesus for my Father to answer my prayer in every present moment. Also, I now know what a high degree of servant hood feels like. There is peace and joy as always but now I laugh often just to think how God will do many things. I know that the place we are going is the most perfect place for Ernie who will live much longer than me. AND I NOW KNOW that I have to teach the entire world who want to do the will of God, to pray early morning this prayer from the bottom of their hearts for the glory or love of God and for the love of neighbor, and voila, we easily give our will away with great desire and passion and with all the gifts of the Holy Spirit upon us, so never to despair or think what is next; much less, to think what tomorrow will be like.

AND YES, THIS IS WHAT SATAN HAS FOUGHT VIGOROUSLY NOT TO SHARE WITH YOU and why I am so late… Satan seems to be very active. This computer continues to play games and I keep suddenly losing some documents and without any clear reason behind it. I have placed a Rosary over the computer and hanged Our Lady of Mount Carmel Scapular from the screen… Hmm! After typing some parts, I also store the new document in a flash drive device just in case the computer makes the blog disappear!

I must add that his kind of prayer will purify me to continue growing in holiness but under the strict direction of the Holy Ghost… I have noticed that in our Catholic media, especially on EWTN, we are speaking much about the Holy Ghost. It gives me much pleasure, although I sincerely feel that we talk about the Third Person of the Holy Trinity much but do not truly give our lives for Him to guide us all day and sanctify all that we think, say and do. With this prayer, our Dad in heaven will see to it that we are led by His Spirit…

In recent weeks, something else happened and this one is truly a HUGE MIRACLE, and I have to say that your prayers for me must have been super powerful… Wow! As Ernie started looking for jobs, his bosses said to him something like this, “Wherever you want to go in whatever State, we will hire you to work from home… to do something very needed for our service (connection between doctors, patients and pharmacies). We want you to receive the same salary although with no bonuses or raises in salary; we need you to cover an area of our service that is not done as of now. We need for you to find all the new technology as it comes all the time and apply or adapt it to our present Internet service.” Well, these words are in general just my words because I know little about computer engineering. The good thing is that my son wanted to switch his expertise and would love to do this job for his company and all of it from home…!!!!

For some months (since February 20) and out of the blue, I have been led by the Lord to believe that we should move to Alabama but I never learned why nor mentioned it to anyone. In my case, with the presence of my fourth son who is a nephrologist, researcher and clinician in this State, he could find me good doctors and those would be nice to me being his mother!!! Also, his wife is a PhD in Optometry at UAB as well (University of Alabama at Birmingham), and she could help find for my sickly eyes, the best ophthalmologists in town!!! I even started asking myself if my son could find a wife as well. He is not married but not closed to the idea of getting married. Again, all of this was in my head for some time.

In general, my son here ended up not having to look for a new job and in fact will be practicing the specialty in data base engineering that he truly enjoys. He wants to buy a home and is working with the real estate agent used by my other son and wife when recently they bought a home in Vestavia, a suburb of Birmingham. It so happens that Whole Foods Store, a national chain of stores that sell organic products and that we use a lot here in this area, just opened a new one, and their second one in Birmingham. This brand new Whole Food is in Hoover.  It interests me a lot in order to decrease the amount of toxicity coming from regular foods not labeled organic.

At times I laugh because I was born in San Jose, Costa Rica and my Lord wants me to close my eyes in Birmingham, AL (If I make it)… However, I must emphasize that all these wonderful things came after May 26 when I started praying to my Father in the Name of Jesus to receive the grace to do His will, and that Ernie was sort of rehired and paid a good basic salary. THIS MIRACLE IS SIMPLY EXTRAORDINARY AND I NEVER IMAGINED SUCH A GIFT FOR US.

To those who have prayed for me I must not only thank you but insist that you are powerful intercessors. We still have many things to do in this area before we move. In fact, Ernie will be flying soon to give a down payment for “x” home and go through the process of getting a mortgage. We suspect that it will be towards the end of September that we will arrive there. The amount of work to be done and as mentioned above, in order to get rid of many things, is monumental and all while I do not feel too well.

My present Pastor just departed for Spain to do a one month silent Ignatian retreat precisely where St. Ignatius lived. I went to confession with him hours before he parted and confessed to him of how much I do resent so many people. One cannot hear any TV news without getting tired of condemning Mr. Trump and talking about Russia. In these instances, I now repeat the prayer about doing God’s will because it is His will that I love my brothers and sisters no matter what. I have noticed that I easily change my bad feelings towards them into a more motherly love that asks for their salvation. I keep praying for Mr. Trump’s salvation and especially for the entire Congress…

To conclude I must remind anyone reading this message that we must start becoming the most obedient children of our Father because IT IS THE WAY to become a true relative of Jesus or the best disciple possible, and all by asking His Holy Spirit to take over our will. After that, I have no plans for my spiritual life. He will develop such plan for me. I do not even have to know the Bible from beginning to end. He will lead me to study it according to His will for my particular moment in life. I do not have to understand anything. I am certain that if all our members could pray as described but with a sincere heart and with purity of intention, we COULD EVANGELIZE the entire world in a short time.

I have been watching the Convocation of Catholic Leaders in Orlando, FL. It is a super extraordinary encounter of practicing Catholics who want to become the best missionaries and using their example to call many to convert. One of my most respected Cardinals, Donald Wurl, spoke of what we need to do to become the best witnesses of the Gospel. We must be bold, have courage, a sense of fortitude and much wisdom and he explained why we must have these gifts to witness to others. We also must have connectedness to the Church and a sense of urgency to witness the Gospel. We must show compassion and joy.

On my side of things, I want all of those but they represent the will of God for all of us. Therefore, I will continue to live my daily life as I move to a different State and home and parish, asking my Daddy in the Name of His Son to give me the graces necessary to do His will every second of my life on earth until He calls me Home.

And ONE MORE TIME: those who pray for me, please help us to survive these future weeks remembering us in your prayer. The kinds of miracles that lately we have received have to be the product of your beautiful loving prayers… God bless you!  I leave you with His WORD:

Matthew 7: 21-23

“Not everyone who says to Me, “Lord, Lord,’ will enter the Kingdom of heaven, but ONLY THE ONE WHO DOES THE WILL OF MY FATHER in heaven. Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your Name? Did we not drive out demons in Your Name? Did we not do mighty deeds in Your Name? Then I will declare to them solemnly, ‘I NEVER KNEW YOU. Depart from Me, you evildoers.’ “



TWO WORDS: Information and Transformation and our call to Holiness

May 14, 2017

As I announced in my recent short note postponing the posting of the blog of April for mid May, the content will be very uplifting or at least it has been for me… However, it is obvious in hindsight that the Lord was developing a plan that actually would benefit me in a huge way. First, He took me to discern two words (just like I have mentioned before as done by a Bishop from Colombia, Msgr. Luis Augusto Castro). These words were information and transformation. Then the Lord showed me how the transformation took place in the life of a very famous Saint who faced huge crosses in a magnificent, blessed and grace filled way! It turned out to be an invitation for me to truly embrace my crosses like he did under the care of our Mother in heaven. I was also taught to have ONE THING in mind for my spiritual growth and later you will find out what it is. The call to run every day to do that one thing is clear and I now realize that I must dedicate my last years on earth to work on it… and always ahead of my needs. I will continue to share according to the calendar sequence.

I want to add that due the change of dates for the posting of this blog, and because it contains many things regarding Our Lady in this month May, with permission from the Lord, I will not post a blog at the end of May. Hopefully, the next one will be posted towards the end of June. Since the present message is long, you may have enough to read for the next 6 weeks.

Tuesday, April 11

I went shopping to Target and as I was paying my bill having already problems with my legs for walking too much picking up the things needed, a lady in her sixties behind me was having problems with the cashier with a question she had. I asked her if she spoke Spanish. An she did because she was from El Salvador. I immediately offered my services as a translator for the lady and the cashier. As I was waiting for a Target employee to help take my things to the car, she had finished paying and asked me how could she learn English the easiest. I told her that I did not know because I had learned it as a teenager. I came home and as I was having breakfast at 1 PM (normally I do not get hungry and also avoid eating before going out because it may make my pain worse), I suddenly realized of the gift received and having learned English at age 17, a language that I now prefer versus Spanish. I felt like a jerk for not having thanked God enough for this gift as I could have done!

On this day I heard this statistic: we have 1,700,000 Catholics which represent 17% of the world population… I felt sad that Jesus sent His apostles and all of us through our Baptism to take the Gospel to the whole world and we are very behind in doing so! Personally, I hardly think of this poor job that we have done… But why is it that we show so little interest in working daily in bringing others to the Catholic Church through the plan of God for that day and that soul? Why?

Holy Thursday, April 13

I could not attend the Mass at my parish because I was not feeling well pain wise. By the way, there is a reason why my pain in my legs has been getting worse and I will talk about it later. I used EWTN to be present to a LIVE Mass in D.C. or Rome. My pain medication was ready to pick up and I was out of it… So, I had to drive to the pharmacy in another nearby city and it was going to rain… I do not like to drive in such conditions because of my left eye poor vision and the water hitting the car makes it harder to see. I can pick up the medication on a side window of the pharmacy and so, I do not have to walk. I left with some rain going on and once in expressway it became a storm. 5 minutes later all the rain disappeared and the sun came out against the foretold constant rain by the weather TV experts.. During the stormy five minutes I was paralyzed… petrified because I could hardly see much and then the sun came out. I heard my Lord within say, “Aha, you forgot to trust in My Mercy! You had fear… O woman of little faith!”

I recognized my sin and repented and asked for His forgiveness. When I came back and had breakfast, the sun was in and out but it was not raining. I heard Him say, “There is no need for you to watch much secular TV since it is Holy Thursday!”  So far, I had been a very bad girl and no less than when we commemorate the beginning of His Passion!

I received on this day the invitation from the Archdiocese of Omaha, NE for the ordination of my third son as a permanent Deacon for May 6th. No doubt that God is good and His mercy endures forever, the Mercy that taught me English at a young age just to prepare me to write this blog in the U.S. Amazing how much He loves us all. And yet, I had doubted quite a bit in the recent hours instead of calling Him and asking for His mercy to help me endure this difficult moment with trust in His love for me… I acted as a present doubting Thomas.

Good Friday, April 14

Since the previous day, a secular Hispanic TV presented LIVE programs of the celebration of Holy Week, starting on Holy Thursday in Seville, Spain. For several centuries, this celebration in Seville brings people from the entire country to spend time together walking in procession from the largest gothic Cathedral in the world to other churches.

At one point, after having attended through EWTN the LIVE services of Good Friday at the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, D.C., with an excellent homily by Msgr. Walter Rossi, I turned to think of my needs for a better health in order to attend services in my own parish. My Mother said, “Do not keep reminding God of what you need. Instead, thank Him for taking care of you forever but with total understanding on your part of His great love for you, which expressed in actions, is His mercy at every second of your life.” She is always around correcting me as a mother should do.

Monday, April 17

I heard the following in EWTN/Spanish a great truth, “The spiritual life consists in prayer, suffering and offering of it, in order to obey and love God and your neighbor above all things. God then will do the necessary to provide the graces needed to seek Him and make Him the Lord of your life as an evangelist, all in order to bring back the little sheep to the home of God the Father for His glory and their salvation. For this you were born. Do not forget how easy it is when you occupy yourself in following the instructions.”

In the secular media was said that the second cause of death among people ages 15 and 34 is depression with suicide. This bothers me very much because some of these depressions are due to the thickener carrageenan and nobody knows about it since I have not finished my book. I pray often to do so but my eyes and health in general are not allowing it. So, I am sure that this plan is from God.

Thursday, April 20

At 2:45 PM, I suddenly realized that I was wasting time and watching a funny video in the Hispanic channel. I turned off the TV and repented. Right away, I received an idea for this blog. Here was when I received the mentioned two little words for this blog: information and transformation… The Lord sent me to think of the ways to transform my life.


1. Time: wasted or dedicated to pray much?

2. Forgiveness:

1) Doing a good or poor effort to forgive.

2) Being aware of the need to forgive: good or poor?

3) Effort to make a conscious examin on the subject: good or poor?

3. Service – reason behind

1) Self satisfaction

2) Love of neighbor

3) To be admired?

4. Kind of service

1) Maximum or poor effort

2) Out of habit?

5. Crosses – how I handle them

1) Drag them

2) Ignore them

3) Complain about them


1. On self denial

2. On fear

3. Guilt

4. Patience

5. On the Catholic Church and her saints

6. Why do I seek information? I seek it out of fear, out of curiosity or to implement it in my own life?

WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THESE TOPICS? I should explore them and make changes during the month of May to celebrate my Mother’s month! Up to this time, I thought that the blog will be all about ways to undergo a transformation in our day to day living. Little did I know at the time that the topic was going to be so well explained with the life of a saint…

Saturday, April 22

At 10:30 AM, I asked my Mother if it was possible to be told when we will be out of this area (super toxic) and approximately when?

This was her answer: “You will go exactly when God will decide for the good of others first. In the mean time you should start learning the following: the information regarding the Church, the Gospel and stories of Saints are good, very good. However, they will never take you to a maximum spiritual transformation to become a powerful witness of the information received regarding the Gospel in order to become a light in the present darkness.

“The times are very difficult in every way. Jesus has sent all His children to catch many fish! He did send all of you to announce the good news of the Gospel to the entire world with the promise that He will be with you always. And yes, the Church and His Real Presence are available as extraordinary and indispensable companions. In the other hand, you need to be transformed by God to save the majority of the human race. Yes, you need much information available for Catholics and those who are not, but everybody should take the WORLD BY SURPRISE with their own light, witness, and living as men and women who deny themselves, embrace their crosses with delight, and try to do at every present moment what Jesus came to ask of you. If you accept the challenge of informing others and showing them how the information is lived in your lives, with the most Holy Trinity’s help of love and mercy you could EVANGELIZE MILLIONS in a few years as it happened at Tepeyac, MX.”

I immediately understood that I have been called to undergo an ongoing transformation and do it out of love of God, for His glory and out of love for my brothers and sisters. The two words of information and transformation are the root of this journey that I want to embrace, where I can use all the information I already have and pray and obey God’s will so that the Holy Spirit can lead me into this transformation, knowing that God’s mercy will do the rest of finding me the places and people to whom I should become a light; of course, with my Mother always at my side giving me courage and interceding for me. I already have enough information through the Gospel, the lives of the Saints and the teaching of the Church. What I need is to be always remembering the steps to be transformed and do it as best as I can. The Lord will be always at my side guiding me to trust in His mercy to change me into a light for others. There is no doubt that I cannot sell the truth of the Gospel if I do not practice what I say or write like in this blog.

Sunday, April 23 – Divine Mercy Feast

At Mass and after Communion, I asked Jesus to help me with so much pain.

On this same day I was present to the Live Holy Hour from Hanceville, AL. During the Benediction after praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, I said to Him, “I am open to all You want of me but I need healing of my body and money to move out of this toxic place as soon as possible. He told me, “those needs will be supplied and you will be closer to a parish for you to spend more time near Me.” I answered, “And I promise that will pray for all my brothers and sisters.”

He answered, “Notice how you are only thinking of your personal happiness with less medical problems and time with Me as you pray for others. No, you need to be healthy and solve all other problems like moving out of this toxic environment, but this to be done in order to go all over and proclaim how you found happiness after your encounter with My Real Presence as a child, which was a gift of My mercy. It also means that you will change your crosses of living in this area and having so much pain for other type of crosses. In all you do from then on will be to spend your time seeking the salvation of souls in a very dedicated way. Again, the main reason for your existence is to use your Baptismal graces to bring souls to Me!

“Always have in mind that many souls are lost daily. And those who follow Me, or so they say, are doing it but with the hope to get favors with zero interest in saving souls from the bottom of their hearts. Again, I must repeat that to receive My mercy, you must trust in Me and what I stand for and truly mean it, by trying always to be the best disciple possible, THE BEST! And seeking to be such a wonderful disciple MUST BE DONE  for the sake of giving Me glory and saving your brothers and sisters. This teaching on this day of the Feast of My Mercy is my gift for you.”

I thanked Him and repented for OFTEN thinking of saving souls but not seeking to embrace my crosses for their sake… In older times, I truly did not have the salvation of souls as my primary spiritual job… after seeking my own salvation. In the last couple of decades, I have been aware of my role of asking for their salvation but NEVER SHOWING AN AGGRESSIVE DESIRE TO SUFFER FOR THEIR SAKE! Wow! Now I know why I have suffered so much in order to wake up and take over my role as meant when I was baptized and received the other Sacraments, especially receiving His Body and Blood into my own body… So far, I have been a joke of a Christian… My self-denial has been poor. I have embraced my crosses but never thought of having received such grace to help my neighbor to answer his/her call to meet Jesus. I have followed Jesus but poorly as well since He came for our salvation.

Tuesday, April 25

Here you have another gift received and probably secondary to my repentance and desire to change my spiritual life for the service of others. After praying the 8:30 AM Rosary with EWTN/Spanish, at 9 AM they showed the story of St. Louis Marie Grignon de Montfort … I was fascinated and dedicated the next hour and one half to watch it. St Louis has been one my idols among the Saints of our Church. In the late 1980’s and early 1990’s, I read every possible book of his that I could get hold of. I have made the consecration to Jesus through my Mother many times over (I suspect tha more than 100 times). However, I never had read his biography in any detail at all! It was interesting because checking the list of programs, this one on St. Louis was not titled with his name. I would have missed it if I had paid attention to the upcoming program because I would have changed the channel. But of course, this happened after I had prayed the Rosary! Hmm! I took some notes and looked for a re-run with the same name of the program being watched at that moment. I found it and made plans to tape it.

I am sure that most of you know this saint and like him very much. However, I was led by my Lord to type most of his biography and I will place it right at this spot. I am sure that the idea given to me is because St. Louis’s life is a gorgeous show of spiritual transformation despite that he was a priest and had all the spiritual information necessary. The program was in Spanish and I translated it. I am also sure that probably EWTN in English had shown it since his feast day was April 28. I simply missed it.

The life of St. Louis Marie Grignon de MONTFORT

(The following stories were narrated by several American priests of the Order found by St. Louis de Montfort)

In 1793, the forces of the French Revolution decided to destroy the Catholic Church. Under death penalty clerics and religious Orders had to swear to become servants of the secular State. The people rose and fought against the forces of the Revolution. During this reign of terror, the population of San Lorenzo de Cerne was considered the rock of this movement with the presence of two Orders founded by St. Louis:  the Daughters of Wisdom and the Missionaries of the Virgin Mary and they attracted many due to their fidelity to the Holy Father and living under the love of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. But why? Because one century earlier a wondering preacher, Louis Marie de Montfort had showed them the tender heart of God and of His great love, and he had done it with a Baptismal renewal and the total consecration to Jesus Who lives in Mary.

Louis Grignon was born in Montfort, a place where two rivers meet. Montfort means “fortified mountain.” His birth occurred during the Kingship of Louis XIV who lived in extravagant luxury in the Versailles Palace. The King’s Court was made of the Nobles group plus some leaders of the State including some Clerics. The third group was made of the common people who lived in deep poverty. There was a mystic tone to this area between the earth, the sea, the mountains, and they would celebrate this relationship with nature with poetry, music, songs and art.

It was January 31, 1673 when Louis was born, the second of 18 children. He lived there for a short time because he was sent to a wet-nurse, mother Andrea as he called her in order to be fed. He was baptized in the Name of Jesus Christ and he always considered this as a moment of purification to get to Jesus in order to become a son of God. He spent many years trying to find the significance of this Biblical Baptism to which he could say yes or not. His uncle Felix Grignon was a violent man and his son and Louis’ first cousin was in jail for killing someone. Louis was sure that he would have end up likewise if he had not given his life to the Lord. He knew himself very well. He eventually returned home to his family who lived in a farm.

Louis had 3 uncles who were priests and 3 brothers who became priests also, and two sisters who became nuns.

In 1688 he was sent to Rennes to a Jesuit school, St. Thomas Becket. He was considered talented, a good student, somewhat timid except when he needed to help others. He was considered the helper of the indigents. The love of Montfort for the Jesuits and their spiritual exercises was always present and years later, the Jesuits always cooperated with him and helped him. He used to go and visit many churches, among them the Carmelite church of Our Lady of the Miracles and he would stop there every time that he walked from his home to the school. It was in this church that he realized that he had a vocation for the priesthood. Thanks to the help of a Madame, in 1692 he was able to study in the Seminary of St. Sulpicio in Paris.

He traveled to the capital leaving behind all that he possessed because he yearned to walk to God and the Wisdom of Jesus Christ. He would not accept help from his family in order to imitate Jesus Christ and he slept wherever even under bridges embracing the divine providence. He was committed with his spirituality to free people in order to live the Gospel of Christ. And this meant the possibility of falling and having to get up again by living the gospel of the providence of God. In his way from Rennes to Paris he made a perpetual vow of poverty. He went to the Plaza of St. Sulpicio (after his graduation from the Jesuit school en Rennes) and was admitted to the community of poor seminarians under the direction of Father Claude de la Colombiere. The latter died two years later. The residence of the poor seminarians closed.

On Sept. 20 of 1694 he wrote to his uncle: “I am not worried because I have a Father in heaven Who never has disappointed me. He then moved to the small seminary of St. Sulpice. There he completed the theology of preaching. The professors found him to be magnificent and an achiever. The founder of this seminary had given a great emphasis to the Incarnation of the Eternal Word in the womb of Mary. This augmented his devotion to the Mother of Jesus. Regularly, he spent Saturdays’ in the Cathedral of Notre Dame de Paris praying in front of the Tabernacle. He was elected among other seminarians to become a pilgrim preacher. He spoke of the faith of Mary as real, valiant and the clue of God’s mysteries. His spirituality continued to be of Jesus living in Mary. This gave him more clarity of the power of the Holy Spirit.

He was ordained on June 5, 1700 in the Archbishop’s residence in Paris. His first Mass was celebrated in the church of St. Sulpicio. His first yearning was to dedicate himself to become a missionary of the poor. He was sent to a parish in Nantes which was a failure because he could not go to preach missions. He discovered two different and opposite sentiments within himself: one, of living hiding from the world. In the other hand, he felt attraction to bring others to love the Lord and His Mother and to teach the catechism to all the poor of the country.  He then decided to become part of a group of poor priests.

While still in Nantes his life was interrupted to go visit Fonte veault for the entering of his sister Silvia to the religious life. There, an old teacher was the one who called him to Poitiers to offer help to the Bishop of the Diocese. He traveled to Poitiers walking and in October found a hospital full of poor people, thieves and beggars. While he waited for an appointment with the Bishop he went to the hospital’s chapel and spent 4 hours praying. He was invited to stay at the hospital and even collected some money among the poor living there to help him. Many would come to hear him, among them a 16 year old girl Marie Louise who eventually founded an active religious community to serve the poor in a school. She believed that it was the Virgin Mary who sent her to do it. She left to live with a prayer group with poor sickly women. On Feb. 1703, Montfort gave her a habit, becoming the first Daughter of Wisdom and servant of Jesus Crucified, the Incarnated Eternal Wisdom .

Fr. De Montfort brought changes to the hospital to benefit the poor and this provoked the anger of the board of directors. With counsel from a Jesuit priest he left Poitiers. He arrived in Paris and his previous spiritual director mocked him plus an old friend did not want to help him. He went to stay in the house of the poor. He wrote to Marie Louise, “I am in the general hospital  with 5000 patients. My friends in Paris have abandoned me. I am happy that I am dead in the memory of people. It is a crucifixion but found redemption because I could contact the real and true wisdom.”

In a street of Pot Defer he found refuge in a cold room below the stairs of a residence for the poor in Paris. He was totally alone. He was a failure and only 3 years since his ordination.  He wrote to Marie Louise, “Men and demons have declared a war against me by using calumny, destroying my reputation and mocking me.”

Several U.S. priests came to explain what he believed and that these crosses as above are gifts that conform the divine wisdom and she takes them to where she lives. Wise according to the world is the one who only follows his sentiments and human reasoning acting as a good upright Christian and doing a very little effort in thanking God or repenting from his sins. The worldly man bases his behavior in his honor and his freedom in whatever he wants, in the good life, in his own interests. Wisdom is the cross and the cross is wisdom. The separation of wisdom from the cross cannot be changed. There are no saints who have not had his crosses.

The priests continued to explain his beliefs. They said that we should accept the cross because it is the secret of holiness, of wisdom. To know Jesus Christ is to know everything. Not to know Jesus is to know nothing. It is the shorter, safe and holy way to find the wisdom of Jesus Christ. Wisdom takes us by the hand and walk together to the Holy Trinity. We know Jesus Christ through the Sacraments and by the grace of the Holy Spirit. And what is wisdom? Wisdom is the love of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. What is love? In the first place is the love of God for all of us. The Father loved us even before we existed. Our Lady is the safest, easier, holier and shorter road to reach Christ. It means that she took us by the hand and walked with us toward the Holy Trinity.

The lack of apparent success in his own country made him prepare in case God would call him to the foreign missions. Then, the young priest decided to walk to Rome to consult with the Pope. He looked like a holy vagabond. We do not know his route but he stopped at the Shrine of the Sacred Family of Loretto. He talked to the Holy Father Clement XI using Latin and told him that he wanted to become a missionary in the Americas. The Pope approved his apostleship but sent him to France where the Church was with problems. He gave him the title of Apostolic Missionary. When he came back (walking) a young man named Matulin in the outskirts of Poitiers was waiting for him and became his faithful companion. Montfort became a troubadour always speaking about the tenderness of Jesus and Mary.

Montfort and Matulin went the Shrine in Mount St. Michelle arriving on September 29, feast of St. Michael and spent 15 days in a retreat in this monastic island. They prayed for fortitude for this mission given by the Pope. They proceeded to stop at Renner to visit his parents. They passed through his natal city of Montfort  la Cane and continued to Dinan where in 1706 they preached a big mission. Here he reminds all of his love for the poor. He found an indigent leper and took him to his home where the preachers’ team was staying. Since the door was locked, he knocked and said in a loud voice, “Open to Jesus Christ.” For him he was carrying Jesus and took him to his own bed where the same night the leper died on his arms. He said, “I must love Christ in my neighbor. My God lives in them.” He was a radical missionary that revolutionized the world in order to open the door to Jesus Christ, since the Son and His Mother were poor as well.

Something that Montfort gives to the XXI C is to become a pilgrim preaching the Gospel equally to the rich and the poor. Since 1702, his life was preaching over and over in a dynamic and convincing way and he attracted entire cities and towns. With Matulin they became vagabond troubadours singing the infinite love of Jesus and Mary. There are many songs composed by Montfort and he was also a great sculptor. In 1708 he left and went to the Diocese of Nantes. During this stay there were many extraordinary stories that were considered miracles. He showed so much tenderness that many sinners came to the practice of the faith. There were also several attempts against his life and the worse was the opposition coming from the civil authorities and from some members of the Church.

In 1709 in Pont Chateaux he started the planning to build a Calvary while he continued preaching missions. Many came to help him in this high hill. The local Bishop was going to come on Sept. 14, 1710 to bless it but one day before he said he would not do it. Montfort walked all night to talk to the Bishop of Nantes and arrived at 6 AM. He told him that by orders of the King, the Calvary had to be demolished… Apparently King Louis XIV was told that this place could become a place of hiding for invader forces.  He said, “God asked me to build it and now He wants to destroy it. Blessed be the Lord.” He had learned to see the cross as an object of blessing because without the cross there is no resurrection, there is no life. In the XIX C the Calvary was reconstructed as a way to honor the memory of Montfort.

He left Nantes and in 1711, he spent Lent in La Rochelle and spent there 5 years. He rested there and was able to write his great books like Devotion to Mary and where he emphasized that because of her, Jesus came to this world to save it and how she was a model with her yes. Mary was also a window to the reign of the Holy Spirit. God the Father gathered all His graces and called it Mary. God the Holy Spirit gave all his gifts to Mary, His faithful spouse. The missions in La Rochelle changed the city and his sermons were like fire from the Holy Spirit who changed those that were timid into powerful apostles, and converted many to work for God. However, he always said that it was important to get to their minds to reach their hearts. He preached the holy slavery of love which takes away all that is false and foreign to God, and it gives us the true freedom of the children of God. They would cry when they heard him. Montfort looked likea light that was coming from within.

In his Masses, there was preaching for adults and catechesis for the children and young adults and at the end he would choose those better prepared in the faith to communicate this faith to their brothers. The missions would end with a procession with the Eucharist. In a big ceremony each participant would sign a contract of their alliance to God through Mary, with a renewal of their Baptismal promises. This was perfect because they knew what they were doing versus not able to do it as babies being baptized. And the promise done at Baptism to renounce the Devil and become part of the Church embracing the mission of evangelization, was renewed. This promise of assuming the mission of evangelization through the Church and the Sacraments do not need many formal studies to understand it.

The history of success in Montfort’s pilgrimages became more extraordinary as time passed by. However, the more he brought many to the Lord, the more enemies he made. At one time they put venom in his soup. Another time in La Rochelle he avoided a group that was looking to kill him. He was also getting very exhausted with so many missions to preach.

In the summer of 1715, he lived in a cave in a forest praying and contemplating silence. In the fall of 1715, he was led to his successor Father Remmuló. He told this priest that he could preach the mission with him if he followed him forever. Remmulo answered that he could not because he was very sick and he lived with his sister. Montfort told him that if he followed him all his maladies would disappear. Remmulo accepted and he became healthy and became Montfort’s successor and the best preacher.

Montfort started his last pilgrimage to the church of Our Lady of Saumer. On April 1, 1716 began his last mission. He died during the mission of a brutal pleurisy. Still on April 22 he made himself present to officiating the exercises of the mission but he had a very high temperature. He preached one more time on the love and sweetness of Jesus and Mary. He died on April 28 at 8 PM of 1716 and this vagabond entered the glory of the tenderness of God. His last words were, “In vain they attack me because I am between Jesus and Mary. Thanks be to God and His Mother because I will not be able to sin anymore.” He was 43 years old.

His master piece, the manuscript of True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, was rediscovered after being buried in a field to escape destruction by the invading soldiers of the Revolution. Its publication began a worldwide movement of the spiritual renewal through Mary.

On July 20, 1947, Pius XII declared him a saint. At St. Laurent Sur Sevre on September 19, 1996, Pope JP II went on pilgrimage to the tomb of his spiritual master since he was a young man and elevated Montfort to the universal calendar of the Church. Later, St. JP II called Montfort’s spirituality as indispensable for anyone who means to give himself without reserve to Christ and as it was profoundly rooted in the mystery of the Blessed Trinity. Today, Montfort’s followers called by him as the “apostles of the end times,” number in the thousands and serve the four corners of the earth. (END OF REPORT)

On this same day of April 25, my Lord said to me, “St. Louis tells you how you should walk from place to proclaim the truth of wisdom and the cross in the company of the Virgin Mary, in order to bring souls to Me. Just one day spent doing nothing good for the Kingdom of God, means that hundreds of souls are being condemned to live eternally in hell.”

I turned to a picture of my Mother and said, “It is not easy Mom but I have do it.” She answered, “No, doing it as a duty is not correct. Do it out of love for your brothers and sisters and ask for the grace to love them deeply.”

Later that afternoon of April 25, he degree of pain I was experiencing was high and turned to Jesus and said, “Lord I need your help but urgently since this pain is horrible. He answered, “With urgency? Why? For what? The only urgency is to seek the salvation of souls. St. Louis tells you how you have to walk from place to place to place and proclaim the Truth which is the ‘Wisdom of the Cross in the company of My Mother in order to daily bring souls to Me.”

My Mother added, “One day spent doing nothing good for the Kingdom means hundreds of souls condemned to hell!”

On this same day, I received a laboratory result with my blood drawn a week before and sent to ALCAT in Florida to test it with many foods and chemicals. I have done the same test since 2003, when my dentist, a wonderful younger man in Toledo, OH, refused to take precautions in removing two teeth silver or amalgam fillings I had. I had requested it because by then, I had read much of the heavy content of mercury in these fillings… Within 3 weeks I started to notice that after eating a meal, the pain in my joints was horrible. I ordered the test and sure enough, I was terribly allergic to many foods. This is one of the most important medical mistakes I have suffered in my life!

In 2014 I ordered another after seeing a local so called specialist in allergies and he did not even know about this type of tests… I had to teach him about the company ALCAT… In the 2014 test, I had more allergies but some were gone. I received the results of the third test I ordered and done for $800 despite a 20% discount, on this glorious day when I had watched the life of St. Louis with all his love for the cross… And I was super happy to learn that the food that I eat daily, grilled chicken covered with garlic salt, was exactly what was causing some of my pain. Now, I am moderately allergic to garlic and mildly to chicken. Of course, the problem with so many allergies cannot go away if my immune system which is mostly located in my intestines, is submitted to high toxicity!

Well, more strange things happened on this day… I received an email from my older son and the address started with his name… However after the @ sign, the information of his address was different. I did not pay attention to it. In fact, I would have opened it anyway thinking that it was probably his work email. Supposedly, he was passing on to me an interesting site to check up.  I clicked on the site and it had to do with naturopathic ideas of what to eat for a better health. I responded to my son giving him thanks but it was rejected and did not reach him. I then wrote an email to his regular address and he confirmed to me that this was a hacking… Now, I could not email anyone. My second son Ernie, and a data base engineer was able to take care of it, but for a couple of days I was disconnected from the Internet. We also had to rewrite all my passwords with a special program, etc. I kept thinking of St. Louis and how much he suffered…Hacking is now a pastime and another symptom of tremendous lack of morality and love for neighbor!

Sunday, April 30.

After Communion I reminded Jesus of the problems with the computer and how behind I was with the blog. He told me to pray as many Rosaries as possible. By now this computer was clean.

Monday, May 1, 2017

On this day, I asked Our Lady as to why I was having problems in writing this blog despite the amount of information I already had. I said to her, 1) is it because I should not write them anymore? 2) Is it because there is more information coming. 3) My health is so bad, but why? What does it mean? Couldn’t it better just during the writing of the blog?

My Mother answered, “As you know, you have been asked to pray many Rosaries in this week. This is for you to understand the power of Satan! All these doubts/questions are the product of his temptation directly or indirectly through others. This is the time when I am looking after you and praying for you to defend you from the evil one. In the other hand, you do not have to fear Satan if you follow what you know; therefore pray as many Rosaries as you can.”

After her counsel I felt touched with her words and started softly crying and said to her, “Mom, I love you very much. I feel so comforted to have you as my Mother. In my case, it was my grandmother who opened my eyes to your role as my Mother and I started loving you very early in my life.”

She said, “No, your grandma turned your eyes to the Rosary which she recited every morning at 5 AM while sitting in her bed next to you. You were too young to understand who I was but you noticed and still remember seeing her praying every day with some beads in her hands. Of course, she was also praying for you. However, it was the Holy Spirit that led you to love me as your real mother. Shortly after, you also understood that the Host your grandma and mother received every Sunday at Mass was the true Presence of Jesus, and you started feeling His Presence when you were with them at Communion time. This event of your grandma’s prayer brought up our relationship and Satan could not interfere with your awakening to His Real Presence. This was a clear work of God’s mercy and led you to grow to be part of the salvation of many souls

“The important point is to realize that you must understand and remember that the power of Satan is everywhere, but at the same time to understand and remember that you have the power to annihilate him. This is a subject that you had to hear and see well before most of your severe health problems can be helped, due to the need to suffer enough but with a great yes to it, all which open the door to the power of God to make of you a witness of His love. The crosses in your life are a form of purification of your soul to understand many mysteries of His action in yourself, others and the urgent need to pray and believe in the Gospel with zero fear and with much hope and faith in His love and mercy for all.” (Wow! I thought how awesome my Mom is because I was able to see the reason behind my crosses with great clarity and why His Real Presence awareness came to me because of the Rosary!!!)

1 PM of this still May 1 – From St.Teresa of the Andes as she heard from Jesus à “Trusting souls snatch My graces. There is nothing more painful to Me that when chosen souls doubt Me.”

On this day and out of the blue, the little book titled “The Secret of the Rosary” by St. Louis de Montfort appeared next to this computer. Of course I had bought it for ONE DOLLAR in the 1990’s but I have no idea how it got here.

The reasons for saying the Rosary are written in the beginning of the book.

1. For world peace

2. A means for preserving the family

3. For courage in the hardships of life

4. As a ready and easy means of preserving the faith

5. For healing the evils of our day

6. A means of Christian perfection

7. For success in one’s vocation

8. As a powerful means of obtaining graces from God

9. For final perseverance.

I can attest to its power not only for the times I have prayed it for national elections but on a daily basis, I have seen extraordinary changes around me just by repeating the HAIL MARY several times and asking for the salvation of the souls involved…I cannot pray it for what I want… No, only for the salvation of those involved and bingo, they change things around ASAP.

 Thursday, May 4

Suddenly I realized that it was ON Thursday, May 4 of 1989 when I was in a Houston hotel while attending a medical conference, and that evening before turning the light off, I grabbed the hotel Bible (I always have used them for my daily instruction from God) and He asked me to go to Joshua 4. He added, “Just as Joshua passed the Israelites through the Jordan river without getting wet, the same will be with you. You both will receive an offer for jobs and I want you to take them.”

I have told this story several times before in these blogs but it is important to repeat it. We were living in South Bend, Indiana. After severe professional persecution in Cleveland for NO REASON, as my bosses confessed to my husband to have done and how bad they felt (these months after), I stayed home for a year (I had enough money in the bank to do so) so that these people could cool off and would not write lies about my previous work with them. Of course, all of this was indicated by my Lord to be done. I then was re-routed to St. Joseph Hospital in Mishawaka, twin city of South Bend, IN. Well, I had to be there because this small hospital was ONE OF 17 hospitals in the entire U.S. to have been chosen by an independent, not-for-profit organization, JCAH or the Joint Commission Accreditation of Hospitals to try a new method for the every 3 years checkup for the quality of healthcare… This accreditation is important so not to close a healthcare facility! We had to implement this new model and of course, I learned it very well. Eventually, it would be used in all hospitals, surgery centers and the like.

I came back to my home in Indiana, Sunday April 7th… That evening, my husband was called and offered jobs for both in the Cleveland, OH Kaiser Permanente hospital where he had worked before. He was saying no to the invitation when I told him to just go and check it up… He did. We both knew that it would be a waste of time. He had just moved to Indiana from Kaiser and was covering vacation times and days off for the anesthesiologists in the different hospitals of South Bend and Mishawaka. I was making about $180,000/year and I was not directly employed by the hospital or group. It was a fee for service job, where I hired a secretary and I would charge the patient’s insurance for my services, yet I made enough.

We had just bought a home, large, new, beautiful and had finished the basement where we made private dormitories for the oldest 2 boys. In that way, I had one room in the first floor for me to convert it into my prayer room as I had been doing for a while in other residences of our own. So, for my husband to make a trip to Cleveland (6 hours by car) was a waste of time since Kaiser always paid low wages. I explained to my husband that my idea came from the Lord and related to him my conversation with the Holy Spirit back in Houston only3 nights before, and in that year, it was the Thursday with the Feast of the Ascension. I even found a Church to attend Mass .Now we celebrate it on the following Sunday.

The story ends when Kaiser offered me the director position because I had more years of practice of my specialty than my husband and had board certification. He, on the contrary, had certification in pathology but not in anesthesiology which was a late choice for him and was trained at Case Western Reserve U. in Cleveland. There was no way to say no to this move despite the craziness of it in every form… We had to sell one home and buy another one and as it turned out, this hospital was a disaster since JCAH was just checking on them for things of the previous review for accreditation that still needed to be changed… Of course, when JCAH found out that I came from “one of the 17” as we were known, they decided to wait until I could take over and even help this hospital for the transition to the new method that I knew well.

So far it is obvious that the WILL OF GOD for our family had been planned years in advance and that persecution had been a key to my ending in Indiana. The Lord moved Kaiser to call my husband even that they did not know that I was one of the 17!!! This also brought my children back to Cleveland except for Ernie who had been accepted to Notre Dame after only doing his senior year of high school in South Bend (he came from St. Ignatius in Cleveland). His application was taken by one of his teachers at this high school directly to Notre Dame, in order to be sure he would be accepted since they found him to be a genius… Again, a case of God doing extraordinary things… Ernie only wanted to attend Notre Dame and had not applied to any other place.

My third son and now Deacon, was admitted to St. Ignatius High School even that there was no more space for him and simply because his two older brothers had studied there. Of course, Cleveland is fairly close to Steubenville. This third son ended up at this University which led him to meet his present holy wife! He eventually went to Rome for three semesters, but decided to quit these studies to come to Indiana and take care of his dying father at home for the next 6 months, since I had to work (Fourth Commandment well practiced). Eventually he finished his Master in Theology in Dallas, TX… My oldest son had started his studies at the U. of Michigan in Ann Arbor, a city we had lived at. Yet, after two years there, he had to change places because he found too many drugs showing up at the dorms. He tried to finish at a small college in So. Bend but found it poor. With the move to Cleveland, he was able to finish his college education at a Jesuit University there… AGAIN, God had everything so well planned…

My work at Kaiser only lasted one year because the anesthesiologists there, 3 women from India were inept for the job. They refused to attend a 3 month course at Case Western U. to update their practice. I could not accept to stay there with the poor care of patients. I moved to another Cleveland small hospital where the chief was from Egypt. The practice there was just as bad because I would do cases by myself in one operating room, while a nurse anesthetist would do cases in the next room; yet, the patient was billed for my services of being in charge of the case next door. In other words, we doctors can have 2 or 3 rooms with nurses but on the condition of checking these cases constantly just to secure the best care. Again, this was fraud and I had quit in 3 months.

I tried to move to Case Western U. in Cleveland where my husband had trained and where he was liked very much, but one of the anesthesiologists from Asia working at St. Joseph Hospital in Indiana, was in charge of the department and wrote a letter of recommendation on behalf of the hospital saying that I was supposed to be the worse anesthesiologist possible who did not get along with people… I almost ended up in the Courts fighting from this lie, which was in route to be taken to Washington, D.C. and given to a department that keeps checking the bad doctors in the U.S. Their lawyer, a Catholic ex-judge was ready to crucify me when the Holy Spirit told me what to do (the Bible is true) and the guy stopped all his work to destroy me. They had taken their time to complete the paperwork of why I had been denied permission to be admitted to the department of anesthesiology. So, I threatened Case Western University with a suit for the 3 months lost in the waiting without being able to look for another job… My lawyer, a wonderful religious Protestant man, was fascinated on how the Holy Spirit had ended the non sense… I was never formally accused in D.C. Otherwise, I would never been able to work again! Ouch!

Crosses, crosses and more crosses… I always prayed for my persecutors, I never hated them but I did not offer my crosses for the most important reason possible, the salvation of souls… I wasted them… Of course, they purified my soul!

I am going into so much detail just to be sure that some of us are submitted by the love of God to be tested with extreme suffering, and how He places this burden in order to move us around to be a blessing for our family. Saying no to our crosses, or praying for them to disappear is one of the worse spiritual mistakes possible. Jesus came to show us the way and to become a good disciple He has called us to follow Him Who endured terrible crosses.

Friday, May 5

On this day and again all directed from above, I checked EWTN/Spanish and found a program from the BEST OF MOTHER ANGELICA. It turned out to be from 1997 and she was talking with Fr. George Rutler. It was doubled into Spanish and I had to translate it into English. I will quote many parts to the best of my ability as translator because it ties up with the topic of transformation.

This priest had written a book titled A Crisis of Saints.

Fr. R stands for Fr. Rutler

M.A. stands for Mother Angelica

Fr. R.: We talk about many things like the nuclear crisis, political topics; it is easier to refer ourselves to climate changes or animals than to our souls. The world crisis must be taken also to the spiritual level and not upstairs but within ourselves. A change comes not through reformers but through the Redeemer. The reformers are important but they could become socially contra productive. The Saints do it because they are reformers. In one way or another, the Saints reform society (my note:I thought of Monfort). But a Saint is more than a reformer. A Saint is someone through whom the Redeemer lives. Therefore, the problems of our country and of the world will be resolved by God, by His grace and through no other way than sanctity.

M. A: Is there a lack of Saints?

F. R. – I cannot answer because the Saints in heaven are many, but I can say that there is a lack of consciousness of the vocation to sanctity. If someone hears about the vocation to be a saint, it could be said that this is esoteric or evidence of pride. But the real pride consists in placing our will before the will of God. We forget that IT IS THE WILL OF GOD THAT WE BECOME SAINTS. Growing in sanctity is a process that last all our lives. Yet it is pride that blinds us to become saints. The true miracle consists in doing what God wants in the daily ordinary life. Therefore, to say that I cannot or should not become a saint is a form of destructive pride. 

What does it mean to be a saint? The true definition of sanctity is to be similar to God, to be capable of wanting what God likes. For example, the difference between friends and lovers. Friends get together to see around them. Lovers look at each other. To be friends of God means to be capable to see the world as He sees it. This is why a saint looks at the world in a more passionate way than the rest. This why a saint is very passionate against the violations of human dignity and for which reason defends all God’s creatures. To be lovers, we look at God when we pray.

M. A: Why are the Saints called to heroic acts?

Fr. R: It is the form to get to heaven. It is for everybody.  When Jesus would talk to them in a tough way, it was a call to the cross. The cross is the door to Heaven. It is the self-offering to the will of the Father.  However, there is a tendency to say, “I will not serve. I can do with my body whatever I want.” Satan is behind all of this. The Holy Father has said that the modern man has placed freedom over the truth. It is like freedom contradicts the truth. But the true freedom is only found when we obey the truth and such obedience has three forms

1. Always to pray with or without the desire to do it.

2. Detachment of a disordered self love and to choose to love God.

3. The exercise of prudence.

M. A: Have we had similar times in the past?

On December 9, 1565, Pope Pius IV died. At the time of his death there were many problems for the Holy See. Protestants were dividing the world. The new world of the Americas had been found. In Europe there was a division between the West and East (Orthodox Church). Pius IV had working for him his nephew, which could have been judged as nepotism. His nephew was St. Charles Borromeo who was an important voice for the first catechism. Another person near him was St. Phillip Neri known as the Apostle of Rome because Rome was in a pagan state and he converted it. The other person near him was a Dominican, a short and sickly with arthritis Bishop who had no apparent charisma. He became Pius V and he saved Europe from the Moslems by asking the Church to pray the Rosary to win the war in Lepanto!!! It did happen…

My point is that these three men saw a world in crisis and using their minds and their political and social influence were able to change the crisis but they did it by their sanctity. This is the type of saints that I believe will come in our times. The Pope (in 1997 had to be St. John Paul) says that the core of our cultural crisis is within the family. We have lost the family in our culture. Many of the saints will have to come from the family. A more forceful conversion will have to come to our families. The Pope wants to see holy husbands, wives and children.

We need the power of the Holy Spirit and for this we need a dose of reality and not keep denying what it is going on. We need much fortitude, courage to do it. We need the work of pastoral care. There is a crisis of saints and we need authority and discipline to promote the justice of God! (END OF QUOTES FROM THIS CONVERSATION).


Since April 11, I have been exposed to very important topics. Our transformation to become holy people was well modeled by St. Louis Marie Grignon de Montfort’s short life on earth.

The topics contemplated are as follows:

1. Holiness is for all of us and we are called by God to become saints.

2. From beginning to end, our spiritual life is made of getting all the information necessary that will guide us to accept the transformation that God desires for each one of us, in order to become a light in the darkness.

3. Our crosses are super important in the process of becoming holy. Accepting our crosses is the secret of holiness!  They purify us in order to lead lives full of faith, hope, love and obedience to the will of God.  We should aim at becoming “friends of our crosses.”

4. Our Lady is the shorter and easiest road to Jesus.

5. The most important spiritual job we have is to love God with all our heart, mind and soul and our neighbor as ourselves.

6. The most important spiritual job we have regarding our brothers and sisters of any religion, race, country, etc., is to aggressively (with our crosses and prayers) seek their salvation. Every day of our lives, we should get up and put ourselves at the service of the Holy Trinity to work on the salvation of all souls, most especially those who are dying that day. In the early morning we should offer for them any crosses of the day. This is the job that I mentioned in the introduction and that we should pay attention to on a daily basis in order to grow in holiness.

7. The Rosary is the weapon for the end times, according to St. Pio. We should pray x number of daily Rosaries to help us become holy and workers for the salvation of souls. By doing this, the Lord will bless us and our families in unbelievable ways.

8. We should always practice our vocation through our Baptism, which is to be missionaries of the poor. It was nice for me to see the work for the poor of St. Louis de Montfort and compare it with our present Holy Father…

Note: thank you so much for your prayers. I have to type the blogs with a tape over my left eye…  If do not do it, the poor vision of the left eye makes the vision of the right to be worse than it is. This computer continues to scare at times, especially since a previous blog was erased at the last minute… Therefore, I do transfer whatever portion has been written to a flash drive device, just in case it may disappear. 

Just yesterday, the door that goes from our garage to the kitchen, opened suddenly with great force. I thought that my son had gone to check something in his car. I went to see if this was the case and he was not there and I closed the door. So, I thought that he was in the garage and had come in and gone up to his room. Later on, I checked with him and he said he never went to the garage!!! I suspect that the evil one has been after me and seems to be upset about the content of this blog… After all, it covers well a wonderful Marian Saint… and Our Lady is his greatest enemy. I know that your prayers are a huge protection not to have this blog become erased… So, again, thanks so much for protecting me with your prayers.

Please excuse me if I have too many errors in my English writing… My vision is tricky!






Delay on posting the blog for April

May 7, 2017

As you know, we propose and God decides. In Spanish we have a well known saying that reads, “El hombre propone y Dios dispone.”

I had chosen to use the end of each month to post the blogs. Well, the Lord decided to send me a huge amount of material, which requires a lot of hours of typing and my eyes need to rest here and there to do it. However, just to be sure I would wait, He allowed me to get very sickly with an intestinal bug for the last 3 days and I am forced to postpone the posting for next weekend. I was fascinated when I looked at the calendar and realized that next Saturday is the feast of Our Lady of Fatima, marking the hundredth anniversary of her first apparition to the three children. Looking at it in this way, it truly make a lot of sense to honor my Mother with this blog.

1. It happens that the material I have been accumulating is mostly about her and the Rosary…. There will be another two subjects that are of great interest.

2. I was given as a gift on the Feast of Divine Mercy, a very special look at the way I should pray in regards to my interior disposition. You shall see how interesting it is what Jesus told me, of course, correcting me big time.

3. A third topic has to do with our call to become saints just because we are Baptized and Confirmed. There will be no reason why any of us could not start ASAP seeking holiness for the right reasons: to become a bridge for others to meet the Messiah in a more personal way or said in other words, to evangelize our brothers and sisters. I will pass on the words of a very well known priest who spoke with Mother Angelica about the need to have more saints for these difficult times.

It is of interest that as I write this note today May 7, I saw in EWTN/Espanol a program of something going on that I would have never, ever even imagined that could be going on… àChildren getting together to pray the ROSARY throughout out the world (6 continents) in 3 languages and started by a 10 year old boy and his mother!!!!! .

And so, the waiting coming from the genius and generous Heart of Jesus will give us another taste of His Love in action, that is, from His mercy… There is no doubt that He is the Good Shepherd and keeps us fully protected during these years in route to our Father’s home.

Please keep me in your prayers for my eyes and general health to help me write so much.

Learning to improve my discipleship

April 9, 2017


I am super late again this month in posting this blog because of two reasons: 1) I received the topic for this blog fairly late. 2) My eyes have shown more problems when typing for long periods and even this computer has been playing games. For example, out of the blue, everything gets colored in orange and purple, including Our Lady Queen of the Universe that appears in the screen before I do anything else. Of course, I still fear (unfortunately) that the entire blog could disappear and never be found. The question was: it’s this from God or Satan? I still do not know and for both possibilities I must act as a true disciple: patient and trustful that my Lord and my God is in charge… At the end, He will decide and I will say yes to it!

So far, this Lent of 2017 has become rich in realizing that my work as a disciple of Jesus needed some reflection in order to find out what is still missing and what I can do to receive His grace to become a better one.

Something that touched me profoundly and that I reported in the last blog for February posted on March 10, was to reflect much on my interior “broken Christ.” His love expressed in His conversation that inspired Fr. Ramon Cue, S.J. to write about it, touched me profoundly. Sure, I knew and know that He loves us; however, in the case of the broken Christ, He opened my eyes with the details of His love for us. I had never gone so deep in realizing the profound tenderness of His love… In fact, I felt moved also by the idea that our Father, our Daddy, sacrificed His Son to bring us to change our ways and at the same time, to elevate us to be His kids as well, which we always were but now being shown to us in a clear way through the sufferings of Jesus.

In the following days, I found myself thinking and perhaps too much, regarding our future move. My son is working in training some of the already existing employees to cover all the things he is responsible for.  It will be sometime before June (perhaps one month before) when he will look for another job. This is good for me to pray much in order for him to find exactly what God wants for both of us. Please if you could keep Ernie in your prayers… However, I kept wondering about the huge amount of work I need to do in throwing away many things, giving away others, and perhaps selling a few things. I bought a treadmill back in 2009, when I was accepting the wrong idea of weight loss through diet and exercise; I want to give this item away; yet, I cannot deal with E-bay as a conduit to do it. I do not trust the Internet that much!


Wednesday, March 15

Only a very few times in my life, have I found myself talking to and receiving direction directly from my Father in heaven. On this day, I heard, “Listen to your Father” and as the sun came to the room where I was sitting, which is the typical sign that I am used to receive when the Lord is ready to enlighten me. I said, “Dad, what do you want to tell me?” I prayed, “Come Spirit of my Dad (knowing well that the Spirit is the Love between Father and Son) and speak to my heart and soul. Te amo (I love You), Holy Trinity.”

I was directed to the bottom of page 999 of my Bible (Joel 4:17-21). It dealt with the “SALVATION OF GOD’S ELECT” and in those days, this referred to Judah and Jerusalem and that they would receive many blessings. I understood that it applies to all of us and in my case, that all be well with the move and the selection of the city and job for my son. It gave me much peace. My Daddy was right there within me, instructing me through His Word that I should not think much about the whole thing because He is in charge!

My Mother intervened shortly after (as I was thinking again about the move and the amount of work to be done, especially because of my poor health) and she said, “You will lack nothing. Some suffering will be there but needed to be offered for the many that lost the way.”

Shortly after, I heard the Spirit sending me to page 769 in the right side and middle of the page. It was Sirach 44: 14-21. I heard these words, “This story reminds you of the many of our ancestors who had their work cut out, like Noah and Abraham. As it was with them, so it will be with you! You are writing history with your life and many will convert. At this moment, there is no reason or need to wonder about how you will be helped and where you will go.” I felt much better.

Saturday, March 18

In a Hispanic TV channel, I found a horrible story (later I did find two more which will be mentioned on the particular day). Here is the story: on March 7, a young female teenager who was living in a place for homeless youth in Guatemala, made public that the girls were raped daily and that they felt this was like living in hell. Nothing was done on the next 24 hours and who knows how much this girl and others suffered from the men that were taking care of the facility after this problem was revealed. The following day, March 8th, probably out of desperation, the girls set some mattresses on fire and most of them died when the fire destroyed many parts of the home.  

I mention this because Satan’s fury over the world has no limits. It is possible that it existed in previous centuries. However, they lacked the means to pass the information to the entire world minute by minute. In the other hand, how is it possible that in this so called Catholic country, nothing had been done and that seriously ill men were doing such thing?

Tuesday, March 21

Apparently, God was after me to show me the state of many souls in order for me to pray more and more and not ever complain about my pain… I came to my room and fell asleep in my chair and suddenly woke up for the 11 PM local news. After it, the late program of Jimmy Kimmel LIVE came on and as I was taking some medication for pain, I heard this male guest showing Jimmy what he does. He is an architect and told him how he had fixed his own home. For example, he said, “I built a special room for myself, just to be alone to have peace and to relax by doing X sexual activity.”  He did not say “X” activity; he mentioned it with its real name. Everybody laughed… I almost passed out. He could have mentioned this special room just to rest by himself, but did not have to tell us the details of his job within the room… I felt nauseous. This and the previous story in Guatemala forces me to understand my need to sanctify my discipleship (as Jesus has explained and which will be discussed later) so that my prayer for all these horrible events bring their salvation and protect those who hear it so that they do not do the same! But still at a later date I will mention another story quite similar to these first two.

Wednesday, March 22

By the end of the Kimmel story, it was already a new day…

12:00 AM – I called my Mom and complained to her by saying, “This is too much. This world is a disaster.” My Mom said, “Yes, there is much to do for both of us but ALWAYS REMEMBER that God is in charge. I will be with you. Offer your crosses, including this one for their salvation and the salvation of all of those who are part of showing these stories.” I felt better and went back to sleep.

I had to go shopping to one supermarket (I have to divide the places I go for different days not to bother my legs with long periods of walking…) I chose the afternoon at the best time possible with the least amount of traffic, between after lunch and 3 PM when many are already coming home from their work places. I left at 1:50 PM. I was in need of buying Evian water, the only one that I drink and cook my meals with because it has the least amount of fluoride… They keep packs of 6 one liter bottles right in front of the cashier’s area. I needed someone to place these heavy packs in my cart. Out of the blue, a man who seemed to be an employee, offered to do it and said, “I will open my cash register and take care of you so that you do not have to make a line. He did and called someone to help me out to my car. He turned out to be the manager of this supermarket. I arrived home at 2:35 PM… In only 45 minutes I had returned home…Of course, this was my Lord saying to me, “Remember what your Mother told you. I am in charge of your life and can do all things.”  The whole event helped much in restoring my faith and to pray and sacrifice for those who just hours before had scandalized me.

Friday, March 24

I spent most of this day offering all my pain for the new health care plan to replace Obamacare. I only wanted God’s will in all of this. I have no expertise to judge which one is the best to protect all people with a decent health insurance coverage. Suddenly, I heard that Mr. Trump had pulled it out  from consideration in the House or Senate for a later date and just  before the voting took place… I knew it was God’s plan… I have been praying also much for the confirmation of Judge Neil Gorsuch for the Supreme Court if it is God’s will. I also know that He is in charge of this horrible show of politicians acting as 5 year olds…However, it is hard to see grownups taking the serious matter of electing a decent  judge just because they are in favor of killing babies… Of course, days later, Judge Gorsuch was nominated when the 5 year olds were outsmarted by their opponents. It is hard to see how beautiful images of God, Senators and Representatives of the House, allow these things…

Sunday, March 26

1. This was a day of much reflection, thanksgiving and amazement as to what God can do. 42 years before, my third son was born and I will repeat the story of his birth mentioned in old blogs, because it will illustrate how our Lord manages all our lives from the womb to the tomb! Many mistakes were done in the hospital (one of the best in the U.S., William Beaumont Hospital in Royal Oak, MI, north of Detroit), by simply ignoring me as I entered it the night before(March 25) in early labor. They came to check the degree of evolution of my labor the following day at 6 AM… They ruptured the membranes to accelerate the birth of the baby and water came up totally green, a sign of SEVERE FETAL DISTRESS… They ran to prepare an operating room for an immediate cesarean section. Yet, I gave birth within minutes of rupturing the membranes. The child was almost dead and sent to the neonatal intensive care unit. He remained there for two days. I took him home on March 28 and was told by my pediatrician, a greatly respected man, that he most likely would be retarded in some form or other because his brain had suffered severe anoxia (lack of oxygen).for too long.

As it turned out and after I presented him to the Eucharistic Jesus at St. Thomas Apostle Parish some 2-3 days after coming home to Ann Arbor, MI, this child developed well and on this particular day of his birthday in 2017, he was the person giving a Lent retreat to his parish in Omaha, NE. Soon, he will be able to baptize and conduct funerals as a permanent Deacon. He is married to a very holy woman and has 4 holy children… He attended Franciscan U. of Steubenville for his first degree in Theology, and subsequently he attended a university in Dallas, TX (I forgot the name) to get his Master in Theology. On this day I kept thinking of my Mother’s words not to worry because God is in charge!!!! At Mass, I thanked Jesus for His mercy in his situation and how poor I act when I worry about how to close this home and move somewhere else… Remembering this story moved me to contemplate my poor behavior of lack of trust in His mercy, when 4 decades before the Lord had defied the odds that science had placed on his life. There is no question that God is good and His mercy endures forever.

2. On this same day in the Hispanic channel, they showed how the recycling of used car batteries was moved from the U.S. to Mexico! These batteries have several sheets made of lead… They did move this job to Mexico because in that country they allow very hi levels of environmental lead versus much lower levels in this country of ours. Of course, lead is a horrible toxic agent that can cause all kind of illnesses in our bodies… What an injustice this is!

3. To aggravate even more the stories for this special day, I learned how the deportation of illegal immigrants are done in the middle of the night!!!!! In this way, many are taken away while leaving behind children born in this country and the media and people around pay almost no attention, stopping in this way all negative points of view…

4. I ended up finding an EWTN program that discussed how to pray. The author, Matthew Kelly in his book “The Prayer Process,” describes it as a method to initiate a time of prayer. He mentioned the points below, all excellent but I wonder how many people can remember them and do them daily!  I am sure that practicing to be a true disciple will bring the graces necessary to start falling in love with prayer… However, it is important to mention these points for those who may find them helpful, especially as there are Scripture verses that find Jesus going to pray all the time!!!

1) Close the eyes.

2) Seek a comfortable position.

3) Take deep breaths to reduce stress or anxiety.

4) Initiate a time of thanksgiving to God with a personal dialogue. Think what you are grateful about for that day, including other people around.

5) Initiate a time of awareness by talking to God recalling what situations had been encountered in the previous 24 hours. Bring to mind what your feelings were, like feeling good about yourself or how you did not handle well some situations. Recall significant moments for that period with the people around and talk to God about it.

6) Seek a time for peace by asking God for forgiveness for all sins encountered in that period against Him, neighbor or self. If you feel any shame, ask for forgiveness and healing.

7) Seek freedom. Speak to God as to how to change your life to experience freedom. Ask for courage to make the necessary changes in your life.

8) Regarding neighbor, lift people up to God asking for special blessings for them but do it one person at the time.

9) Pray the Our Father but paying attention to the words, slowly and deliberately.

10) Open your eyes.

11) DECISION TIME: Check Scripture about prayer –

Mark 1: 35 – “Rising very early before dawn, He left (Capernaum) and went off to a deserted place, where He prayed.”

Matthew 14: 22-23. (After feeding the 5,000) “Then He made the disciples get into the boat and precede Him to the other side, while He dismissed the crowds. After doing so, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray.”

Luke 5: 15-16. (After the cleansing of a leper). “The report about Him spread all the more, and great crowds assembled to listen to Him and to be cured of their ailments, but He would withdraw to deserted places to pray.”

Luke 9: 28-29. (After Jesus explained the conditions for discipleship). About 8 days after He said this, “He took Peter, John and James and went up the mountain to pray. While he was praying, His face changed in appearance and His clothing became dazzling white.”

CLOSING OF PRAYER time: Ask yourself if prayer is in the center of your life or in the periphery. (The author advices that if the question is to pray or not to pray, to try this method for 30 days, and after this, one will be convinced do it! (End of quotes)

As you can see, this day was filled with special messages, some of cruelty for our brothers and sisters, and one that brought the fact that prayer was at the center of Jesus’ life…             SO FAR, I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT WHAT THE TOPIC FOR THIS MONTH’S BLOG WOULD BE!

Friday, March 31

I heard via EWTN that St. Therese, St. Faustina and other Saints said that PRAYER AND SACRIFICE will lead us to the Truth! Apparently my Lord was emphasizing the importance of suffering and of prayer…

Shortly after I prayed the first Rosary for this day, I was sent to page 115 to find the theme of this blog… It turned out to be Luke 9:23, all about discipleship!!!

“Then He said to all, ‘If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me.’

Sunday, April 2

The Hispanic channel showed a program titled: Torture in Mexico. They explained how in a large prison in Mexico, many are falsely accused of committing acts that deserve incarceration. They are kept in jail up to two years without any trial to proof their guilt! In the mean time, many women prisoners have been raped on a consistent basis by the marine guards of one particular prison. This is known by many and nothing gets done to stop it…

It hit me that Our Lady of Guadalupe came to this country in 1531 and converted millions in short years. Now, this country is full of drug cartels and much violence in the streets. However, the horror stories in Guatemala and the abuse of workers in Mexico that are working to recycle used car batteries, practically SCREAMS TO ME that I must truly get to be a super disciple. I could evangelize the entire world from my home as St. Therese did during her short life (24 years). How could I do it? Prayer and suffering could be perfect tools to pray for all who are living such horrors, plus our own national problems that are getting worse by the week…

I re-read the definition of discipleship:

Luke 9: 23 – THE CONDITIONS OF DISCIPLESHIP: “Then, He said to all, ‘If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me.’ “

It was the time to dig deeper into what this definition of discipleship calls me to. In the next two days, I was able to enter into a deep exploration of what I need to do to be able to grow in my discipleship… I WILL POST IT AT THE VERY END OF THIS BLOG because it is too long and you may want to bypass it… I will continue with a few stories from recent days.

Tuesday, April 4

I am so tired of hearing about Russia electing Mr. Trump with its Internet shrewdness to do so…However, it is obvious that NO ONE could truly believe it because Mr. Trump lost with the majority of votes nationwide being much lower. He won only because he had the majority according to what each State added to the electoral number. Russia could have never gone State by State and give him that majority in CERTAIN States. Of course, God gave Mr. Trump the win… because some of us were truly praying to HIM for this miracle in order to protect babies and elders from being killed… by abortion or euthanasia. Let me add that only the Holy Spirit could have led some voters for Mrs. Clinton to stay home and those in favor of Mr. Trump to go and vote in order to obtain the win of the electoral vote for each State needed. Also, we needed a majority of votes in both the House and Senate to elect Judges to the Supreme Court that could stop this destruction of human lives that if not done, WOULD DESTROY THIS COUNTRY AS IT IS… In fact, it is happening to a certain point with so many killings going on in different States for no reason at all…

At this point, I was digging the Scriptures to find what I need to do to be the best disciple possible, and I kept finding myself “resenting” this constant story of Russia having elected Mr. Trump… How easy it is to resent…

Wednesday, April 5

On this the date, the anniversary of when our St. John Paul II died and when he came to tell me at what time he would be going to the Father (I was in Toledo, OH and I have written in these blogs about it, even if it sounds crazy!), I kept asking my P.K as I call him, (Papa Karol) to intercede for us… He helped in bringing down the wall in Europe that divided it; why not to help us obtain from the Lord the destruction of the wall that now divides this country into pro-killers of human beings and pro-lifer’s.

On this same day, we heard how Dr. Bashar al-Assad (ophthalmologist) had ordered the killing of many people with a poison gas attack… At times I wonder if many of the present and previous politicians who murder their own are evil possessed… 

Thursday, April 6

1. Early morning, President Trump explained why he ordered a strike to destroy the place from where the airplanes that released the poison had departed. He mentioned God several times and even prayed for the souls of Syrians killed.

Later, the news brought the question as to why Mr. Trump had mentioned God several times. I was also surprised but proud of him. I hope that some of you are praying for him; I keep saying one Rosary with Chaplet of Mercy for his soul and his decisions for this country.

2. I also ended up on this day remembering that I needed to come to this very toxic environment to be able to watch many health programs through a public television in San Francisco. It is a huge enterprise and they bring important speakers and produce their own programs. Shortly after I arrived, I saw a great program by a Dr. Mark Hyman, now associated to the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio and who also practices the so called “functional medicine,” the one that puts together how to avoid illnesses by what we eat. In late 2008 (just 3 months after I arrived in California), he spoke about his latest work on how to get help for our brain. He called it “The Ultramind Solution.” I bought his program and from there, although Dr. Hyman did not mention it as such, the Lord led me to put together my existing dementia and toxicity as the cause.

I also found evidence in the Interne of how toxic fluoride happens to be, important information for us anesthesiologists because all our anesthetic gases are fluorinated… Dr. Hyman mentioned in his book that some of us have a genetic makeup that does not make enough glutathione, the natural chemical made in our liver to normally detoxify our bodies. I then remembered how my grandmother had received in Cleveland a general anesthetic at age 84 and never recognized me until her death a few years later. I was her first grandchild of 3 and she helped my mother raising me with all the Catholic great practices like the daily Rosary. She was the one who could not detoxify her body naturally and I probably inherited it. It all came to prove that yes, I could reverse my dementia and I did!!!

Since I kept living in this area and with time, I found out about the nearby refinery and the next to our home huge expressway with toxic fumes… This was like the way to understand better what toxicity can do to us. JUST NOTICE HOW GOD HAD PREPARED FOR YEARS my coming to this particular home…where I would find excellent health programs in this public television, KQED… The Lord wanted me to write blogs and had to preserve my brain and He did… JUST IMAGINE IF I HAD MY OWN PLANS AND NEVER ACCEPTED TO LIVE IN CALIFORNIA! I would have missed my call, especially because I did not know what a blog was!!! I would have suffered dementia with no clue as to why and no idea on how to reverse it!!!

I am making this blog too long; yet, it is so important to see the love and mercy of God for us, when we receive the grace to deny ourselves and do whatever He tells us as our Mother invited us to do, because in this way, we can witness to His immense providence and evangelize others without even trying. Not following His will is a very dangerous and risky proposition!

Friday, April 7

I was praying my second Rosary (12:30 PM with EWTN) and it was the Rosary for Mr. Trump but I decided to also pray for Bashar al-Assad when A MIRACLE OCCURRED! I felt so much love for the latter… I cried for his sins and offered my severe pain at that moment for his soul. I asked the Lord to convert him or at least to make him repent, and once he repented, to possibly free him from Satan. After I finished the Rosary I understood that I had felt love for Bashar in his likeness of God… I did not feel love for him for what he did. I understood that the miracle consisted in being able to feel love for him in order for my prayer for his salvation to be answered very soon. The story of the broken Christ came home again. Of course, Jesus loves him a lot… and He died for Bashar as well as He did for me… My brother Bashar will be in my prayer although I have had his name written in my community Rosary list since he started to mistreat his people; may be this is the time to complete the job since for a few years my Mother has been interceding for him.


The time is here to drop our own plans of work for the Kingdom. I am certain by my experience of many years in several parishes that we should stop 1) Wasting time in repeating over and over what is wrong in our society or in our Church! 2) Stop giving and getting more information about what to do to evangelize through reading more books, texting, even writing blogs and attending conferences. Of course, all those things are wonderful but in general they have not worked for several decades. The fruits are minimal. On the contrary, despite having the luxury of EWTN’s help with many very important programs, less and less people attend Sunday Mass on a regular basis. If we did not have EWTN, we probably would be experiencing a worse scenario!  The time is here when we must accept that even great communication about the things of God is not working 100%. Of course, many change their ways for a few days, weeks or months but eventually come back on a regular basis to a rather poor obedience to God’s commandments and never actually work on discipleship.

But why? In part, the problem is the aggressive Internet media and television’s abundance of non religious programs that distract us and worse, deny God and His Truth. In other words, the minds of most human beings have been infected and filled by the wrong message. This message falsely claims that the dignity of humans depend on their worth, power, education, etc. and not from God Himself at the time that He created us as His images.  This has led us to kill babies and elders as something necessary to respect our right to decide what is best for us.

At the same time, a large number of people dedicate their lives to destroy others in different situations. The latest is how to place bombs inside lap top computers to explode in mid air. I do not want to waste any more time mentioning the innovative ways for some to kill others in different countries. It is clear to me that it has nothing do to with us humans as much as Satan tempting people to produce chaos everywhere.  

LET’S REMEMBER THAT these evil forces cannot be attacked by us with words and programs. No, only our Lord has the power to undo this mess. However, as part of being His Body, we have to become TRUE DISCIPLES… and let Him use us in whatever way He needs to. A true disciple has to have a deep personal relationship with the Master… and MUST FOLLOW HIM…

In general, the results of following God’s will the best we can with the deep desire to become TRUE WARRIORS in the salvation of all souls, will bring results… Our Mother is the best human model of such assertion. As we do God’s will 24/7, we will easily sense the Presence of God within us and in the person of everybody around, friends and enemies. It is only then that we find ourselves becoming witnesses of the love of God for us and the entire world. Also, we lose the desire to plan anything… or do things without checking with Him for His O.K. This way of living becomes easy and doable… and I have seen it happening for several years in my own life.  The power to embrace all other crosses becomes doable as well. All along, we cannot figure out how we do it except for our “yes” to His will and denial of ours. Yet, no one can completely convince us of this truth until we try it ourselves.

As we find ourselves multiplying the bread of witnessing, without prior plans except through our obedience, many get fed and we do not even know about it… This is a form of spiritual power where God uses us and we feel honored but never proud, since it becomes super clear that we are only living as true servants. It must be clear that the battle is God’s and we simply become soldiers who know that God’s mercy is always available for ourselves and others. It is then that we read a book only when we feel the call to do so… and God has suggested what kind of book. The Internet has no power over us; we use it but as guided by the Holy Spirit. Of course, we constantly pray for the salvation of all souls and follow His guidance when we find “a customer of His.”

In summary, our personal ongoing evangelization must occupy our interest at all times. Following Jesus becomes a super attraction. Slowly but surely, through the years, we lose our fear of death or of suffering. We keep remembering to use our suffering for the salvation of others. We recognize that we live in times of powerful spiritual warfare, but we have also power over it if we accept that the battle is God’s and that the Holy Trinity will give us all we need to win every battle through the Holy Spirit within, our lawyer received at Baptism and Confirmation. We also truly feel accompanied and loved by the Father and the Son.

May this Easter start in all of us, a serious growth time in our discipleship to become witnesses of His love, as we resurrect with Jesus on Easter Sunday. Also, may Mercy Sunday be a special time to ask God for His mercy in order to become aware 24/7 of 1) our dignity as kids of our Father; 2) the powerful consequences of our “yes” to His will which includes feeling much love for ALL our brothers and sisters and how He can correct us when we feel anger or resentment for anyone and bring us to repentance. Our constant yes to His will acts as healing oil that eventually erases the lack of anger, resentment or envy and even we find ourselves loving our enemies. 3) We find the way of how prayer becomes a super attraction to keep alive our relationship with Him at all times of the day and night!

I promise you that from now on and since I have much time to do it, that I will offer all my suffering due to my health problems for those who read this blog; I will also pray a daily Rosary that I will call, the “Rosary for the battle of souls” for us to become TRUE servants/disciples of the Lord and for His glory! Please pray for me that I keep up my “yes” to all my suffering. Thank you for all your prayers… I am super sure that as my pain increases in both legs, that it is your prayer that keeps me accepting this heavy cross!  


1. A true disciple or follower of Jesus has to give up his/her free will, exactly of Our Lady and her Son did. IT IS A SIMPLE MATTER. If this sacrifice of total self- denial is protected by an intense life of prayer, prayer meaning a serious effort to communicate with God day and night, plus using the Rosary as a powerful tool against Satan, we truly can become great disciples. As we grow in becoming great disciples, our prayer for the conversion of others will be answered every time we present it to our Lord.

At such time, we find ourselves refusing to plan anything until the Holy Spirit will lead us to do so and the courage and wisdom to stay within the boundaries of God’s will for us at each present moment. Our true denial of our will is the first cross that we embrace by acting as just described.

A constant desire to repent from any sin of disobedience or any other sin with a desire not to sin again, keeps the evil one tied up.

II. We must embrace our crosses daily…! Only by the grace of God, on April 4th, 2017, I noticed in this site that someone had read a blog I wrote on April 4 of 2009 but in Spanish…!!!! In those days, I would translate every blog but usually post it in the section of “pages”. So, eight years later, I looked for the English translation within the blogs for 2009. I was fascinated…At the time, I had posted a prayer I wrote in 1992 in order to become a “friend of the Cross. So, our Lord had moved someone to take a look at it in Spanish and it hit me that I had to post it here in its English form! I am super sure that the Holy Ghost had done this job in my soul and mind. HERE IT IS:

1992 – Cleveland, OH

FRUITS of this Lent from mixing prayer and embracing my crosses as best as I could during these special 40 days of 2009:

1. I am finding out that every time that I am concerned about some item, whether seen in TV or at Church, something that needs fixing, I switch immediately to pray for mercy for the person (s) who is(are) involved. Before, I would stay pondering in the scandal I had just received. Now, without much thinking, I am reminded that my reason to be present to this event is to pray for the people in it…

2. I am finding that I am loving people who offend me with their sins like I never did before. In fact, this love shows as that of a mom for her children, as merciful love… I do not work at it. It is just grace given to me… I have also arrived to the complete surety that all prayer done for others must come from a loving heart, and if one does not love the person we are praying for, we must ask for this grace, and we get the answer quite soon. It is happening to me often…

3. I noticed that in the XVI C., the Lord sent us two prophets to put together for us exactly this sandwich of prayer and the cross fully embraced, in order to grow in the spiritual life as never before. Two giants and now Doctors of the Church were born in Spain almost at the same time: St. Teresa of Avila who suffered immensely while fighting to renew her Carmelite Order, and writing for us the stages of union with God through PRAYER. St. John of the Cross explained the cross as no one before him… His cross was huge as well, suffering persecution and being incarcerated by his own. And he grew in intimacy with God via the cross… It is interesting that he wrote most of his acclaimed book while in jail…

4. So, now I am quite comfortable at saying that prayer with love and embracing of our crosses as a sacrifice for others, are  the fastest way to convert the entire world… Nothing different of what Jesus did for us and that we are about to refocus in this coming Holy Week. So, embracing our crosses is one of the keys (besides loving the ones we pray for). But while asking for love for others, we also have to ask for the grace to embrace our crosses…

The miracle has been that by God’s grace, just one week ago, I ended up with a notebook I started in the 90’s and which I found in one of the boxes in this garage, precisely focused on asking God for the grace to embrace our crosses. I will share these prayers with you, which I composed based on the writings of St. Louis Marie de Montfort, who promulgated the need to become “Friends of the Cross.” If you feel called to it, pray them and sit to see the results… on how you can evangelize many united to prayer… and as you get transfigured yourself. I suspect that all of this done in those years, a prayer that as I always tell my Lord, will be present to Him even if I do not repeat it, but that the fact that I wrote it and signed it… means it is present always in front of His Throne of Mercy, this brought with prayer, the salvation of my spouse in such a miraculous way at the time of his death. He went from non believing and actually being offended by the things of God, into acceptance of his death with joy, very little pain from his advanced cancer, and reverting to be a Catholic as if nothing had happened… So, becoming a “friend of the Cross” is spiritual money…

Here is the prayer:

January 1992:

1. Father, take away my fear to take up the cross that leads to Your Kingdom!

2. Make me understand that in the cross of every day, there is:

1) Salvation. 2) Eternal life. 3) Protection. 4) Heavenly sweetness. 5) Strength of mind. 6) Spiritual joy. 7) Supreme virtue of faith, hope and love. 8 ) Perfect holiness. 9) Heaven on earth. 10) The source to enkindle the fire of divine love in our heart by detaching from creatures. 11) The abundant source of every delight and consolation; it brings joy, peace and grace to our souls. 12) It is conduit for the salvation of my neighbor.

3. Dad, give me the faith to believe and understand the paradox of the CrossàThat to die in and with Him, in order to live with Him and to join Him in Glory, I must join Him in suffering, through daily dying to myself.

4. Make me understand the wisdom of bearing the cross: that if I bear my cross willingly, it will carry me and lead me to my desire goal, where suffering will end as I go to be with You.

5. Make me believe and remember that if I throw away one cross, I will certainly find another and, perhaps a heavier one!

6. Lord, show me Your Truth: that the more I get weakened by affliction, the more my spirit is strengthened by inner grace, by divine comfort, and that eventually, I will receive the great reward of embracing warmly those things from which I naturally recoil, and that being comforted by trials and afflictions, there will be a point where I will not want to be without the crosses themselves.

7. Dad, my nature is not to bear the cross, to love the cross, to discipline myself, to avoid seeking praise, to suffer insults willingly, to think humbly of myself, to appear humble to others, to endure adversity and loss, and not to seek prosperity as my first goal. Make me understand, then, that by not avoiding my crosses, by enduring them patiently, by drinking lovingly of Your chalice of the bitter cup, my nature will change, and suffering will become a great consolation instead; and that by enduring pain and sorrow to please You and my beloved Jesus, I will experience paradise on earth. Show me how You have enclosed in the cross such an abundance of grace, life and happiness, that only those who enjoy its special favors know about them. (From God Alone, Chapter 22)

8. Father, teach me that one must be humble, little, self disciplined, spiritual and despised by the world, in order to learn the mystery of the Cross! “Father”, said Your son, “I thank You for having hidden these things from the wise and prudent of the world, and revealed them to the little ones.” And I ask You therefore, to always remind me that I must be a little one to have the revelation of Your mysteries, most especially the mystery of the Cross!

9. Remind me always that however excellent is the gift of faith by which I please You my God, and draw near to You and overcome my enemies, the Cross is even a greater gift.

10. Remind me Father, that I am a living temple of Your Holy Spirit, and like a living stone, I am destined to be set by You out of love, into a building of the heavenly Jerusalem. And so, I must expect to be shaped, cut and chiseled under the hammer of the Cross; that I must respect the chisel that is carving me and the hand that is shaping me into that building.

11. My Lord, my Lord, as I resolve to become a saint, I thank You for I having found the pearl of great prize, a treasure,  my cross, fashioned by Your own hands with great exactness: its length, breadth, thickness and depth, according to the prescriptions of the Cross of Calvary that You carved for Your Son Jesus.

The thickness of my cross if made up of:

1) Loss of possessions: jobs, money, professional success according to the world standards.

2) Humiliations

3) Contempt

4) Illnesses

5) Spiritual trials

The length of my cross consists of:

1) Slander, persecutions

2) Suffering the temptation of fleeing the cross, as the twelve did.

3) Desolation because of it.

The breadth of my cross is made up of:

Harsh and bitter circumstances brought about by family, relatives, friends, servants and enemies.

The depth of my cross is made up of:

1) Hidden trials like negative memories that lie buried in my mind

2) Inability to find comfort in other people, spiritual partners who would like to run the race towards You with me, accepting to discuss my crosses, and holding my hands; however, when the going gets bitter and over powering for me, they fail me with their presence and love.

12. Therefore, my Father, thank you for the exactness of my cross: its size is perfect as You are perfect; this gift is your Love, as You are love Yourself.

13. And Father, my last request: give me the grace to boast about my cross, my rather little cross compared with others. I willingly accept it and willingly choose to embrace it, not drag it…

14. I love You  my God, Three in One; grace me with the power and the wisdom and love to dedicate my body, mind and spirit to the exclusive embrace of all my crosses with joy, with a “yes” larger than my own cross, and a “yes” that will resound in heaven as a love song to You. But I need perfect strength from You to attend to this work.

15. As I write this prayer, I see Mr. William Jefferson Clinton become President Clinton. He calls for renewal, responsibility, union and sacrifice. But I call for Your passion, Your passion to love me through Your Son’s Passion, and this will control little by little my transfiguration into whom You predestined me to be for all eternity, even before I was knitted in my mother Sarah’s womb.

Dad, when tears fall down my face because of my cross hurts too much and I am unable to embrace it tightly, do not worry about me. I understand the road. I want to climb the stairs of Your freedom. Just hold me tight, very tight, as You have been doing for so many years before when I have walked over turbulent waters. It is that tightness of Presence and Love which holds me the best, and make me feel the safest. Do not forget to hold me tight, Daddy, very tight. And please remind me often that every time I tend to flee the cross, I am like St. Peter to whom Jesus said, “Get away from Me, Satan.”Remind me that in these instances, I am seeing my life with my human eyes, and not through Your eyes.

My beloved Jesus, love me with Your Presence, with Your eyes of compassion and mercy; with the patience and the intimacy of the lover as You have shown me.

Holy Spirit of my Father and of My beloved Jesus, take over my all: my true and false self and my body. May You and my spirit be one in wisdom, love, compassion, mercy, understanding and knowledge for everybody in this world.

I want, Holy Spirit, to become a friend of the Cross, and as a friend, I want to grow in this relationship and intimacy; for it is the Cross, the royal path to You, that will finally subdue  my false self and its idols, which are dust, the cloud between You and me. I love You Holy Trinity. I love You. Amen.

III. We must follow Jesus

We can say it over and over BUT never stop to dig into the detail of what this following consists of. I realized on this day that to be a follower of any philosophy, religion, ideals, etc. means to do, accept and practice as “good” what that person, organization or religious group stands for as being the truth and worthy of being practiced… Well, the Holy Spirit led me to find out what Scripture says regarding Jesus’ practices, ideas, desires and commands at the center of His belief as our God, creator and redeemer. This search has taken me a couple of days and that is why I became much later to post this message… Yet, I think that we all have to review what WE HAVE TO FOLLOW in Jesus…

1. He wanted most of all to TELL US HOW MUCH HE LOVES US… One God with Three Persons and one of the Persons takes a human physical appearance out of love for us in order to teach us how to make it possible and how to bring others to Him! Therefore, as His follower I have to love everybody… Period! (New Testament)

2. He chose to be born in poverty and never owned any property. He worked for several years as a carpenter in order to pay for the expenses of survival. My call is to never seek riches; if they come, never to be attached to them, and on the contrary, to use them for the good of others. (New Testament)

3. He came to show us that Baptism was essential for our soul to become a child of God because He even went through it as God Himself. (Mathew 3:13)

4. If Jesus allowed Satan to tempt Him and as His follower, I know Satan will do so to me. (Mathew 4)

5. He prepared Himself to face Satan’s temptations with 40 days of fasting. I must always remember this fact and use fasting (food or fasting of the senses) as a good help for me to recognize when the evil is near. (Mathew 4)

6, Jesus said that we must live by every Word of God and not only by bread alone! (Mt. 4:4). Therefore, I must read the Word of God often/daily and reflect on it for the particular needs of any present moment.

7. Jesus said that I should NOT put the Lord, my God to the test. (Mt.4:7)

8. Jesus said that I must worship and serve my Lord. (Mt. 4:10)

9. I must repent often since the Kingdom of heaven is at hand. (Mt. 4:17)

10. I should expect to be called to be His disciple and become a fisher of men. (Mt. 4:19)

11. Just as he went around teaching and proclaiming the Gospel and curing every disease and illness among the people, I should go proclaiming the Gospel and praying for the cure of those in need. (Mt. 4: 23)

12. He asks me to seek His blessing in many different moments of my life. Examples: 1) To posses the kingdom of heaven by being poor in spirit, 2) To receive comfort when mourning. 3) To inherit the Promised Land with meekness. 4) To be satisfied when I hunger and thirst for righteousness. 5) To receive His mercy if I am merciful to others. 6) To see God by having a clean heart. 6) To become a child of God by being a peacemaker. 7) To inherit the kingdom of God when persecuted because of my righteousness. 8) I should become glad and rejoice when they persecute me and utter every kind of evil (falsely) because of Jesus, since my reward will be great in heaven. (Mt. 5:3-12).

13. As a follower of Jesus, I AM THE salt of the earth and the light of the world; yet, as salt I must not lose the taste. As light I cannot hide it for others so that they can see my good deeds and glorify my heavenly Father! (Mt. 5:13-16)

14. If I break the least of the commandments of the Law or of the prophets and teach others to do so, I will be called the least in the kingdom of heaven. If in turn, I obey and teach these commandments, I will be called the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Mt. 5:19)

15. If I get angry with my brother/sister, I will be liable to judgment (Mt. 5:21-26)

16. I should never commit adultery, which also means not to look to a man with lust; otherwise, it is better to lose any of my organs like my eyes, than losing my whole body ending up in hell. (Mt. 5:27-30)

17. For other believers (sinceI am a widow): divorcing a spouse after a lawful marriage, causes the other spouse to commit adultery. (Mt: 5:31)

18. I should not swear at all. I should let my yes mean yes, and my no, mean no. Anything else comes from Satan. (Mt. 5:34-37)

19. I should offer no resistance to one who is evil. When I get struck in one cheek, I should turn the other one as well. If someone wants my tunic, I should hand my cloak as well. I should give to the one who asks of me and not turn my back on the one who wants to borrow.(Mt. 5: 39-42)

20. I should love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me, so that I may become a child of my heavenly Father. I should be perfect as my Farther in heaven is perfect. (Mt. 5:44-48).

21. I should give alms without telling anyone. My right hand should not know what my left hand does so that my almsgiving be secret, and my Farther Who sees in secret, will repay me. (Mt.6:3-4)

22. I should pray to my Father in secret in my inner room and use a few words because my Father knows what I need. (Mt. 6: 8)

23. I must pray the Our Father because Jesus gave it to me (Mt. 6:9- 13)

24. I should forgive others for my Father to forgive me (Mt. 6:14-15)

25. I need not to worry about what I need for daily living but I should seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and things will be given to me besides. I should not worry about tomorrow. Otherwise, Jesus will remind me that I have little faith. (Mt. 6:30-34)

26. I should not judge. If I do it, likewise I will be judged. I need to remember always that I must remove the wooden beam in my own eye to be able to see clearly to remove the splinter from my neighbor’s eye. Otherwise I will be a hypocrite. (Mt. 7: 1-5)

27. My Father will give me all that I need always. (Mt. 7:7)

I should always remember what happens when I ask my Father:

From the Internet:

When I asked for strength, God gave me difficulties to make me strong.

When I asked for wisdom, God gave me problems to solve

When I asked for prosperity, God gave me brawn and brains to work.

When I asked for courage, God gave me dangers to overcome.

When I asked for patience, God placed me in situations where I was forced to wait.

When I asked for love, God gave me troubled people to help.

When I asked for favors, God gave me opportunities.

When I received nothing I wanted, I received everything I needed.

The Truth: my prayers have all been answered.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

28. I should do to others whatever I would have them do to me. (Mt.7:12)

29. I should choose the narrow gate because it leads to life, although only a few find it. I should never choose the wide gate (easy to pass through) because it leads to my destruction and many take it. (Mt. 7:13-14)

30. False prophets are known by their fruits. Rotten trees cannot bear good fruits and will be cut down and thrown into the fire. I must be aware of them and look for those prophets who bear good fruits, as a good tree would do. (Mt. 7:18-19)

31. I SHOULD ALWAYS REMEMBER that only those disciples that do the will of the Father will enter the Kingdom of heaven. (Mt. 7:21)

32. The wisdom to build our spiritual life on rock comes from listening to His Word and acting on it. (Mt. 7:24)

33. I should always remember that Jesus cleansed a man from his leprosy as His response to the leper’s faith that Jesus would do it. (I should pray often for my faith to grow). (Mt. 8: 1-3)

34. A Centurion showed great humility and trust in Jesus’ power to heal his sickly servant, and Jesus applauded it and said to him,”You may go. As you have believed, let it be done for you.” The servant was healed at that hour.  (I should ask often for the grace to have humility and faith in the love and mercy of God). (Mt. 8: 5-13)

35. When God calls me to do something, especially to follow Him as I obey His counsels and share my life with Him with others, I must never show hesitation or make an excuse. (Mt. 8: 18-22)

36. Since I travel with Jesus within my soul, I should never fear any stormy events around, and not like the His disciples did while traveling with Him in a boat. Otherwise, I will also hear His Words, “O you of little faith, why are you terrified.” (Mt. 8:23-27)

37. When the Pharisees questioned why Jesus met with tax collectors and sinners, He reminded them that “The sick need a physician; go an learn the meaning of the words, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’” It is clear that to follow Jesus I must look at other sinners like myself with mercy, with compassion, with love because they are His images. (Mt. 9: 9-13)

38. I cannot follow the New Wine, Jesus, and pour it into old skins (my soul without an ongoing yes to His will); instead, I must practice in my soul what I need to become a true disciple with total obedience to His teaching (new skins). (Mt. 9:16-17)

39. I must practice what it is needed to be the best disciple possible in order to receive more of the gift of faith, and this can bring abundant healing from God. (Mt. 9:20-22)

40. Such healing as above mentioned, can heal our blind spiritual areas. Jesus did it with the two blind men. (Mt. 9: 27-29)

41. I must pray for more laborers to bring God’s message and His love to all those who are spiritually abandoned. (Mt. 9: 35-38)

42. My job as a disciple is to go and preach with words or without, that is using my witness, about His love and mercy for me, without ever worrying in regards to my physical needs, since the laborer deserves to be taken care of. (Mt. 10: 5-10)

43. As a true disciple I will be persecuted by wolves. I should never worry about to say in my own defense. I will be given at that moment what to say. (Mt. 10: 16-25) I MUST REPORT THAT I LIVED SUCH SITUATION in one of my professional unjust persecutions… It is a long story to add and that I have shared in old blogs but necessary to prove how Scripture becomes a light at the time needed.

We had moved to Cleveland when the Lord told me in Houston, TX on May 4, 1979 that we would receive job offers and to take them. The offers came on Sunday, May 7. We started to work at Kaiser Permanente in Cleveland, OH. I was chief of the department of anesthesia. I had to leave the place after one year because the 3 anesthesiologists that we found were totally inept and committed many major errors, plus they were not willing to accept to be retrained for 3 months at a nearby university, Case Western. From there, I went to a small hospital run by an Egyptian doctor. I lasted only 6 months since I would be assigned to my own operating room and supposedly, I would supervise two other nurse anesthetists in nearby rooms…This meant to charge for three different cases in my name at the same time!!!

I applied for a job at Case Western U. School of Medicine. They knew me because my husband had trained there as his second specialty (he was a pathologist). When they asked for references to other hospitals, the one in South Bend where we came from (a small Catholic hospital), they gave the request to the head anesthesiologist (a lady from Indonesia who had shown great envy towards me) She wrote that I was the worse anesthesiologist possible and very dangerous and that I did not get along with people!!! (Clear presence of a wolf).

Case Western referred the case to their Catholic lawyer to deal with me since they could not give me the job based on this reference. Besides, it had to be reported to Washington, D.C. for my name to be added to the list of poor practicing doctors, so that in the future, other places would have to check this brand new way of policing bad physicians for the entire country.

 My own lawyer had no idea what to do but he was a wonderful religious Protestant. The Holy Spirit told me what to answer to the Catholic lawyer from Case Western (I have forgotten the detail because this legal answer  was dictated to me by the Holy Spirit and it is gone from my memory). This university agreed not to pass on the bad info to D.C. A priest from South Bend and Chaplin of this small hospital offered to send a letter to Case Western explaining the good person I was and how religious as he would find me often praying in the chapel. The Cleveland Clinic sent a letter saying that I had been a great anesthesiologist while with them and that I got along with everybody!  I did not get the job but my name was protected for future jobs.

44. I should never be afraid under persecution (as it happened above). I should trust in Jesus’ love since He even knows how many hairs I do have in my head. (Mt. 10:31-33)

45. I must love Jesus more than anyone else on earth! I must lose my life for Jesus’ sake in order to be able to find it! (Mt.10:37-39)

46. I will be rewarded when as a disciple of Jesus I give a cup of cold water to the least of my neighbors. (Mt. 10:42)

47. I become the sister or mother of Jesus when I do the will of my Father. (Mt. 12: 46-50)

48. Unless I become like a child, I will not enter the Kingdom of heaven. If I humble myself like a child, I will be the greatest in the Kingdom of heaven. (Mt. 18:3-4)

49. I must forgive others FROM MYHEART as much as 77 times, if I want God to forgive me. (Mt. 18: 21-35)

50 I must give up family and riches for the sake of Jesus’ Name in order to inherit eternal life. (Mt. 19:29-30)

51. When I get invited to a wedding feast (heaven), I must dress with a wedding garment (lack of deadly sins). (Mt. 22: 1-2; 11-14)

52. I must love God with all my heart, soul and mind and love my neighbor as myself. (Mt. 22: 37-40)

53. Jesus will return one day unexpectedly at an unknown hour. As His true disciple/servant  I must take care of His household (Church) and distribute food (love) while He is away. He then will put me in charge of His property (the Kingdom) helping others to do the same. (Mt. 23: 45-47)

54. I have given many talents and instead of hiding them not to lose them, I have the duty to multiply them. (Mt. 25: 14-30)

55. I should always remember that I must give food to the hungry; drink to the thirsty; welcome strangers; take care of the sick; visit the incarcerated. I must do it because they all are images of God, and when I do it, it is as if I do it to Jesus Himself. (Mt. 25: 31-40)

56. I must remember that when suffering is around, I must pray and accept it as the will of my Father. Jesus Himself prayed three times and accepted His Father’s will at Gethsemane. (Mt. 26: 36, 46)

57. I need to remember always that He resurrected but is sending me, as He sent His disciples, to teach others what He commanded us while on earth, knowing that He is with us to the end of time, which means that He is in charge of my work and truly present in the Eucharistic form. (Mt. 28: 19-20)

58. I need to remember that Jesus warned us about the end times when many will come in His Name and deceive me. I cannot be alarmed when I hear about wars, famine, nations rising against other nations and earthquakes, because they must happen and not yet be the end. I must watch for persecutions and yet, THE GOSPEL MUST BE PREACHED at all cost. I need to persevere to the end. (Mark 13: 3-13)

59. I need to remember that there will be a great tribulation which could happen while I am alive. There will be false Messiahs and prophets. (Mark 13: 14-23)

60: Often, I need to thank Jesus for all His blessings in my life and for the ones to come. In this way, I am going to be healed of my spiritual maladies in order to become a true disciple, since my thanks represent a sign of my faith in His love and mercy… (Luke 17: 11-19)

61. In my growth to be a true disciple, I must always see myself as a sinner in need of God’s mercy. (Luke18: 13-14)

62. I must remember how powerful the prayer of Our Lady on our behalf…is. The story of the wedding at Cana did not need so much detail except for Jesus’ actions to make more wine. However, the Spirit led the writer of this story to make clear that Our Lady basically left no alternative to Jesus than to make more wine… (John 2: 1-11)

63. I need to always believe that Jesus is truly Present in the bread and wine that becomes His Body and Blood through the hands and words of our Priests. Also and as important it is to remember that I need to consume the Eucharist to have life within me and be raised in the last day. (John 6: 53-57)

64: I always should refer to Jesus’ Mother as my Mother as well, since He gave her to me… to take care of me! (John 19: (26-27)

FINAL THOUGHT: In order to become a true disciple of Jesus, I must aim to do what He left us as the way He wanted us to live and give glory to His Father. We do not have to worry about how to do it. Simply, we have to aim to do God’s will with the most perfect self-denial possible,  while becoming a friend of the Cross and doing what He tells us in the Gospels. He will provide the graces necessary to become such disciple.

I have understood that during this Lent of 2017, I did have to write a summary of His main teachings in order to read them here and there and remember how to act as a true disciple… plus often ask for His grace and MERCY to do so


My Lenten Journey for 2017: a unique look at Christ in others!

March 10, 2017


I am delayed in posting this blog and God knows I have tried to get it together but to no avail… I have to conclude that it was His holy will that I should be late… I had accumulated several messages and teachings but I could not find out what the final theme would be and much less the title… Slowly but surely He led me to SEE a new way to spend my Lent pursuing the way to find Jesus in my neighbor but almost automatically. For the very poor I have already received the grace necessary to be close to them. My needs are now on how to see Jesus in EVERYBODY… There are so many people in the media via television that are disgusting in what they say, specially announcing anti-Christian messages, that for the last couple of months I was guided by my Mother in heaven to simply stop watching a couple of programs, programs that I do not choose to see but that when I turn the TV on and was left in their channel, I end up being confronted with their sayings..

However, the regular news are also full of messages that offend my God and one never knows when they are going to appear. Well, He worked on it and this month I received a more consistent way to think of Him crucified and how He is present in each of them. This explains why I am so late in posting this message since I needed to watch a very special program in EWTN/Spanish for this month of March, one that was NOT announced to be shown. It was simply the guidance of the Holy Spirit Who led me to turn the TV on and it had been left in this station! So, at the end of this blog, you will have the entire content of such program.

MESSAGES AND TEACHINGS RECEIVED according to the calendar sequence

Saturday, February 4

I had finished the blog for January and was waiting for my son to post it for me, since I am still having problems with this new and more sophisticated computer.

I was watching the SUPER BOWL football GAME between the Atlanta Hawks and the Patriots. I showed favoritism for the latter because I knew their coach Bill Belichick from the times he had worked with the Cleveland Browns back in the 1980’s but he had left quite soon. The local press kept saying that he was hard to approach for an interview. I did not agree. Also, the Patriot’s quarterback is from a nearby city here in northern California. I believe that he was poorly treated when last year he was accused of making changes in the pressure of the footballs he used (deflate gate?). They were the champions for 2015 and it was suggested that perhaps they won the championship because of the changes made to the footballs. For  this year of 2016, he had been suspended for the first four games due to this controversy, even that he has shown through the years an uncanny ability as a quarterback . In the other hand, I was not against the Atlanta team, which had not won this prestigious sport event in the many years prior. One more thing: for a long time, the Lord has asked me to pray for all people in the crowds of the stadium plus the players of both teams, coaches and owners and I usually pray for the mercy of God to bless them. He also has led me to ask that the winner of the game be the one who would be least affected by pride and more money, etc.; that is, to pray for the best spiritual results in their souls with the win. Over all, I am still allowed to take sides wishing for one team to succeed but not praying for this to happen.

At half time, I was a little sad because the Patriots were losing to the Atlanta Hawks 21 to 3, giving an indication that the latter team was going to become the champion. Just before half time, the Lord came and clearly told me that instead of feeling sorry for them for the problem being experienced, that I should ALSO pray an entire Rosary for both team’s players for their salvation. Shortly after, I heard a voice and first I thought it was my Mother’s, telling me that this game would end exactly as the presidential elections of last November, and the Patriots winning when not expected. After I heard it, I was super sure that it had to be from the devil and dismissed it. I refused to say the Rosary for such a trivial reason and proceeded to offer it for the team that would be exempt of the least amount of spiritual losses due to fame, power, money and the like.

I did say the one Rosary at halftime but never turned the game on again. I felt good that at least I had prayed for their salvation since these players handle millions of dollars, which in turn could affect them in a negative way, that is, their religious beliefs and values. When I watched the nightly news, I was surprised as they were explaining how the Patriots won the game…I can only add that the power of the Rosary when offered for the good of others, especially the greatest good, their salvation, it truly shows great power. I was sooo edified and believed more on the power of prayer. I found myself repenting from praying at times with not much  trust in how our God is listening to every word that we say, and how He shows His love for us and even in trivial events like a football game. I also understood that He was using this mundane event to reassure me that He is with me during this cross of pain, poor sight and that I should use it to BUILD UP my TRUST IN HIS MERCY! The latter is essential for my spiritual health! Of course, trust is not a saying but something that must be lived, felt and used as one of the most important methods for me to give witness of His love for all of us.

Wednesday, February 8

It was raining although not too bad. However, with the pain of my knees, I fear the wet pavement. I had to purchase some things in two different stores: at the organic food store in a nearby city plus at Target, very close to my home. So, I only could visit one because my knees would not resist walking so much and I should leave the other for another time. I did not want to make the decision of which place to go first since the Holy Spirit knew better if I had waiting for me work to do for the Kingdom. I ended up being led to the farther one. As I arrived, there was a parking space just in front of one of the doors and a cart had been left also in front of the entrance.

As I arrived at the cart, a younger woman with four children ran to me with a clean cloth (the ones placed in supermarkets to disinfect the handle of the carts) and told me: “Please, let me clean your cart.” I was totally surprised that with the children and coming just behind me, she had run to pick the disinfectant cloth to clean it herself and not just handing it to me… Amazing! I then knew in an instant that my extraordinary loving merciful God wanted me to know that He was pleased for my decision of doing His will even in this kind of choosing a store to shop. O yes, the Holy Spirit had a surprise for me and I turned out to be the evangelized one. What a God we have, if we open our hearts to His Spirit to lead us to experience such love. This woman for sure won many graces…for being an instrument of grace.

Thursday, February 9

I looked for my latest parish bulletin (from Feb. 5) to corroborate the time for the healing Mass to be celebrated on Saturday February 11, the world Day of the Sick and the feast day of Our Lady of Lourdes. I suddenly saw a bulletin on a chair and checked it and it was from January 29…!!! I opened up just in case they had announced it in this older bulletin but not, they only had a Healing Mass at the Cathedral of Christ the Light, of my Diocese of Oakland. I wondered if God wanted me there. I had not read before this announcement at all… I had missed it. I prayed about it, consulted with my son since I needed a ride. Rain was to be present and with my bad eyesight, darkness outside and a long ride, I did not want to go by myself. (He has Saturday’s off although he goes to work to find a quieter office. He is a data base engineer and has much work but other workers consult him often during the regular week days not allowing him to concentrate in his own job). My son immediately agreed to take me.

It was the Sacrament for the sick and my Lord wanted me there, or so I presumed but was it His will for sure? Of course, I wanted to know… One problem is that their bathrooms are far away and for me, it would be very difficult to walk to them and probably more than once, as I was suffering great knee pain. So, I asked the Lord to tell me if He truly was sending me there when I could go to my parish. I asked Him to give me the word “temple” as a sign that yes, He wanted me in this huge temple. He asked me to look at page 777 and yes, the word temple was there BUT as part of commentaries about the Scriptural text of Sirach 51. So, I asked for the word “yes” but as part of the Biblical text. I was sent to page 805 and Isaiah 28: 11 had the word “yes.”

Our Diocesan Patroness is Our Lady Queen of the World, the exact same picture of Our Lady Queen of the Universe, the one who appears in my computer screen and my I-phone when I open them and she has done great  miracles for friends when she asked me to help them by giving them her picture (1989 – returning a husband home in a Protestant family of a nurse; 2003 – curing a co-worker nurse anesthetist from 10 years of infertility and having 4 children; 2004 – a Protestant recovery room nurse was cohabitating with a good man and within a couple of months of giving the image to her, he asked her to be married… till this day) These miracles can prove that she is the Mother of all of us…In old blogs, I have written in detail about these miracles in prior blogs but suffice to say that this is one of my favorite titles of my Mother. Also, it was the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes, and in 2003, I visited Lourdes and loved it. I brought some water from there, water that seems to have healing powers since the times of St. Bernadette (XIX C.). I had it in a plastic container conformed to the looks of her statue. I checked it up and the water had disappeared through the plastic.

Saturday, February 11 – I was given the Sacrament with the oil touching my sickly body (forehead and hands). There were several lines of people and a member of the Order of Malta, Simon, took me by the hand and helped me to get up front to one of the priests that had less people waiting. Upon returning to my pew he kept his hand on my arm helping me so much since the pain of my knees was bad. I was amazed… When God wants something, His Spirit moves people to help. This Cathedral is relatively new and with an extremely modern architecture. The sound system was not the best and it was hard to hear the homily. Yet, when He, Jesus, arrived at the Altar, I thanked Him for allowing me to be there and making my life so much easier. Afterwards, I received a little bottle with the water from Lourdes… and provided by the Order of Malta!

Tuesday, February 14

I was running very low with the pain medication (Tramadol). It was in August 18, 2015 when Tramadol was declared a narcotic… Why? It does not act or feel like a narcotic. It is a poor analgesic at best but I am allergic to oral narcotics and do not have any other alternative, except for morphine, which would not be prudent to use. Yet, I cannot have more than 6 pills of Tramadol per day for 30 days and the month of January had 31 days… On Sunday’s, I usually end up taking two pills and one more near the Mass time in order to survive the time at Church.

My Mother came and said, “You know what to do! PRAY! The times are such everywhere and in your own life that prayer cannot be substituted by anything else. Remember that you ‘should ask and receive. Knock and the door shall be opened.’ Also, you must trust that it is so and not just empty words… You must trust in His mercy. Pray many Rosaries and include them as a form of thanksgiving for what God is going to do and how He will answer your needs and those of the entire world. What you should avoid at all cost is to doubt that God is in charge and will not allow more discomfort than you can deal with.” It was then that I saw the reason why He appeared everywhere to help me (for example, the woman cleaning my shopping cart, or the Patriots winning when not even the experts could explain this “miracle” as someone in the sports media called it!)

Wednesday, February 15

My son told me that on the following Monday he would resign his job. As mentioned before, he works much more than he actually should and he is on call 24/7. Their Internet site that connects doctors, patients and pharmacies, needs a constant checking up so that it works well for his company’s customers. The job is having a negative effect on his health and his expertise and sophisticated type for work will allow him to find another place without too much problem. I immediately thanked him for giving me time to pray several Rosaries/day for protection from the evil one for this decision, one that he is leaving to the will of God as well, and for his bosses to understand. Perhaps, the latest miracles due to the Rosary were part of my formation to use this spiritual weapon for this particular decision that he has made and the future of it.

Thursday, February 16

As I came out of a supermarket, a poor looking man was sitting on the floor and seemed to be in need of money. I gave him $20 and he smiled from ear to ear. He blessed me and thanked me many times. As for me, I truly felt that I was giving this money to Jesus Himself, as the Scripture says. Let me remind you that when I do it, I feel a supernatural force to do it… It is not that I do it out of my goodness. O no, it comes from God. In fact, I know for sure that I could not live in peace for that day knowing that he was hungry and I did not help him. On the contrary, the entire day I feel so comforted with the knowledge that he had eaten, exactly like I felt with my Mike Hagan as his taxi-driver for two years in Toledo, OH, while I waited for permission from Him to sell my house to come to California.

Friday, February 17

During my prayer of one of the Rosaries that I saying daily for this future change of residence (as important as it is for my health to live in a less toxic environment that keeps my knee pain getting worse), I felt slightly concerned about the upcoming events for the following Monday when my son would resign, although ready to give the bosses ample time for him to help the one coming to replace him, so that the transition would be smooth for them. My Mother said, “Do not pray, ‘God please help him.’ Say, ‘Thank You Lord for how You will direct him.’ Also, every morning thank Him for giving you the opportunity to be directed to do His will. Thank Him for the HONOR of obeying Him, in order to give Him glory.”

Her words made me feel loved and cared for, just as if she were alive and protecting me. I was led to read Psalm 62 where ti says, “In God I will trust.” She continued, “To trust in God’s mercy is essential for this change of venue. Be happy. Be grateful. All will be well.”

Saturday, February 18

My Mother came to tell me to quit all possible wondering about what will be next. She said, “I want to remind you that trusting in God’s mercy is more important than praying many Rosaries. Of course, both together have a tremendous power to bring graces to accept all changes as the most perfect will of God. Yet, praying many Rosaries without trusting in His mercy does not bring as many graces…”

After the 12:30 PM Rosary, I was led to often review how to receive the things necessary for my day to day conversion. After finishing the Rosary, this is what I learned:

FOR MY DAY TO DAY CONVERSION I NEED the following spiritual practices:

1. Blind trust (faith with zero fears) in God’s mercy AT EACH PRESENT MOMENT.

2. Frequent thanksgiving to God for the honor of being guided by His will which is mercy itself.

3. Constant acceptance of God’s will with a big “yes” without further questions, worries, discouragement or fears.

4. Regarding prayer:

a. Abundant prayer life, especially Rosaries because they remind us of Jesus’ life and suffering, and should be prayed in thanksgiving for His mercy and love.

b. Prayer should never be a form of begging God for His help, since he already knows our needs and has an answer for them at the perfect time, all for the salvation and spiritual awakening of ourselves and the many around us.

5. Frequent review of these TRUTHS with a deep commitment to follow them and as a way of loving God and neighbor, seeking the latter’s salvation.

Monday, February 20

It was the birthday of the son whom I live with. He chose this day to announce his future exit from his company. I started praying early in thanksgiving to God for being with him in this decision and what to say, etc. The Gospel for this day was very important for me to hear. The father of a young man came to Jesus to complain that His disciples were not able to get rid of a malignant spirit from his son. Jesus took care of it and later the disciples asked Him why they could not do it. He said, “Certain malignant spirits need not only faith to command the evil spirit to leave BUT ALSO PRAYER!”

I realized that this could explain how the Rosary has so much power when simple prayers may not do the job. The Rosary asks our Mother to pray for us (to have faith… and trust) and with the Our Fathers, it asks to stop all evil, and the results are magnificent as in the case of the Gospel for this day. It also explains how Mr. Trump won the election out of the blue when everything seemed to indicate that he would not!!! The evil of destroying babies in the womb of their mothers needs prayer… and especially the Rosary, since this malignant spirit that destroys God’s images needs such force from the prayers of His Mother who has been given power over Satan… Wow! It was awesome…

I started thinking how poorly we have acted regarding the abortion issue in our country. We have huge walks against it. We speak and write and complain against this evil… Yet, WE NEED FAITH (a decisive trust with thanksgiving that He will do it for us) plus PRAYER, especially the Rosary to block the evil one from tempting mothers to abort. HOWEVER, these two actions MUST COME FROM HEARTS THAT HAVE DECIDED TO SAY “YES” to God’s will no matter what…!!!!!! Are we ready to do it? Are we ready to sacrifice our time and self-importance and say yes to God’s will 24/7? Are we?

This matter is very important for me!!! I try my best to say “yes” to this constant pain in my legs and difficulty to walk much when I need to shop (although many times I forget to truly accept it from the bottom of my heart). Then, I turn around and offer my sacrifice for the souls of the mothers who are planning the killing of their babies. With the community Rosary that I pray daily, I already ask for all mothers who are in the brink of seeking a planned abortion to decide against it. With this Rosary I bring my Mother to intercede for them and to stop Satan from procuring these homicides.

During the rest of the day, I prayed 3 Rosaries more as a gift for my son’s birthday and in thanksgiving for what God would do in his life for a new job and for all the members of his present company, for their salvation and for many blessings for them to find the right person to replace him. I asked my Mother to stop all evil that could act negatively in the events of this day, so that only the will of God would be done, even for him to stay put if he decides to stay. At 3 PM, I prayed again in thanksgiving for His help in this matter and also the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, asking for His mercy in all of this. It had been raining with forceful winds and even leaving many in this area without electricity because many trees had fallen. While praying the Chaplet, the sun came out for about 3 minutes and disappeared for the storm to continue. I knew that my Lord was telling me that He was listening and sending His mercy. He has been doing that from time to time for several years. It is a way for Him to reassure me that His mercy is with me at all times.

Thursday, February 23

I found in EWTN/Spanish, the story of a large parish in X city. The Pastor called it a very vibrant parish with 15,000 members. They have 160 ministries. He said that success can be defined by the number of people they bring into the parish and the number of people they send out to evangelize. I recognized that I have been part of such parishes in times past and yet, preaching to do the will of God at all cost is hardly mentioned. They have Scripture studies, Eucharistic adoration, a youth ministry and so on, and all of that is super good. Yet, WE KEEP FAILING TO PLACE BLIND OBEDIENCE TO GOD’S WILL UNITED TO PRAYER, AS THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT ITEMS TO GROW IN GETTING TO KNOW Jesus personally… and be ready to pass this witness to others. Our Lady showed us the way. Jesus Himself was clear that He was on earth to do the will of His Father. Even the Messiah King, took time to pray by himself… So, what are we waiting for?

Friday, February 24

During these past days of severe rain in Northern California after 5 years of drought, it has produced failures of dams, and in one area, 100,000 people were evacuated with no plans to return. The water level raised enough to almost cover most cars. On this particular date, many came to their homes to find a total destruction of everything inside that was covered with mud. Is God asking all of us to pay attention to the times? Are we listening?

Monday, February 27

In a religious program, I heard this, “We must become friendly with Jesus. We do it by talking to Him. This is a true relationship! If we engage in talking to Him (prayer), He will talk to us!”  For some years this has been a common saying, and yes, prayer is absolutely necessary. However, this relationship can only flourish if it comes from hearts that are totally dedicated to do His will. We cannot pray in the morning and go out and do whatever we want! This is precisely why we were Baptized to become children of the Father, evangelized by the Son, and living with the Holy Spirit within to guide us in becoming true followers of the Son, Who was clear about doing the will of His Father, and our Father. There is nothing as clear as that. Our surrender or self-denial while embracing our crosses, make us true disciples and Jesus’ friends… He said so… IT IS SO SIMPLE to understand and perhaps a little difficult to start doing it, but nonetheless, it is a clear plan of how to grow in our relationship with Him. Why? It happens that our obedience and total surrender produce the graces necessary through His mercy (as we show great trust in dying to ourselves as He asked us) to be more and more faithful to doing His will.

Week of Monday, February 27 to March 3

ABC presented an evening program “When we rise,” telling the story of the gay community here in San Francisco and how much they have suffered. It is similar to the story of the African/American community in the last century in the U.S. and how much they have suffered. I watched a few parts and felt sorry for them, although now they want to impose their beliefs over some of us who have no such same sex attraction. I feel sorry for their suffering as I feel for those in the last century. All of us are images of God. However, when you go to a public bathroom according to what you feel your sex is, this gives worries me… What about if some straight sex offenders use this excuse to go into the opposite sex bathroom and attack a child, for example?

This is the kind of problem that only God could fix for us, when we pray much, especially Rosaries and do His will at the same time, so that we could find a solution of love and respect for each other regardless of sex orientation. I still keep in mind that it is apparent that genetically, some men and women do have changes in their brain that leads them to a same sex attraction, and I have given twice before the name and page of the book that I found by pure chance with this information.

Here it is again: THE HUMAN BRAIN, 2009 by Rita Carter, page 194. Publisher, DK. http://www.dk.com

Just like with the abortion issue, we can help them live with this difficult genetic mishap in private and offering their sacrifice like Catholic Priests do… We should pray for them on a daily basis.

Thursday, March 2nd

In a different religious program, I heard this: “Faith is a gift and we must often ask the Lord for such gift.” In my experience, if we truly work on being His disciples and do His will and pray daily and as much as we make time for it, the gift of faith grows as if by magic. WE ONLY HAVE TO WORK in following Jesus in His own words, and in becoming a disciple, we also become full of faith, hope and love… Yet, unless we try it in our lives, we may forget about this truth! In the homily at the EWTN Mass, it was said that “there is no love without some sacrifice or self giving. We must remember that love costs us something. Pope Benedict XVI was quoted as saying that ‘when we give ourselves to Him, He gives us everything! We find true life.’ ”

On this same day it was mentioned that every 40 seconds, there is a suicide in the U.S. I am not sure if they meant in the world. So, every 40 seconds, we should be praying for the soul of the person ready to take his/her life. Or, pray for them early morning and offer the entire daily crosses and sacrifices for them, as we say “yes” to God’s will… Well, I am asking you to do something very difficult. It is almost impossible to remember ALL THE DIFFERENT THINGS THAT WE HAVE TO PRAY FOR at the beginning of each day… It is much safer and GOOD to take every day as God’s will and say “yes” to it and have the Holy Spirit receive our gift in atonement of the sins of the many who need them… In this way, we cover many causes and we grow in sanctity at the very same time!!!

Finally in this day, at 1 PM I went to a 7 ELEVEN store to get some money at the ATM machine and also bought the news paper. As I waited to pay for it, a poor younger man (in his 40’s), was counting the cents he had in his pocket to pay for a piece of pizza… I immediately offered to pay for it ($3.00). He asked me if I was sure… “Of course,” I said… When I came out, this same man was outside with another older poor man (in his 60’s). The first one, Matthew, told Verlin that I was the one who had paid for the pizza. We all three became friends and this is how I found out their names. I gave money to both for their later meal. They were almost crying. I said good-bye and I normally have trouble stepping down to the parking lot because my knees hurt much with the effort and using the cane in one hand. I usually need help from someone in the other hand. I asked Verlin to help me. He did it immediately and said, “I will take you to your car.” So, he did. He thanked me again tons of times.

I must confess that I always melt with some of these people. There are some that I doubt if they could be dangerous to deal with… However, the Holy Spirit normally helps me discern this fact. In this case, my friends were served with money for their meals of that day, and also with love and respect. In fact, we discussed how I do such thing because they are images of God. Both were religious, although Verlin seemed not to be a Christian. He looked more to be from Asia. His thanksgiving was with his two hands being placed together in front of his chest as he bowed to me.

I thanked God for this gift of truly feeling His Presence in the poorest of the poor. And this was my true birth date… I gave the wrong information to one of the social media outlets because I did not feel comfortable with this kind of public exposure! So, it was a great day for me to be able to give attention to my brothers.

Friday, March 3

Gospel for the Mass of this day: invitation to do God’s will!  It is interesting how Adam and Eve disobeyed but Our Lady and Jesus obeyed. I found myself thinking that we should never worry what the will of God is for us at any present moment. Discerning His will is not complicated at all. We do not need books or talks. In fact, I am going through such moment right now. What it is important is to be willing to do His will at all times. This shows trust in God’s mercy. Then the Holy Spirit takes over and easily let us know what the next step is… It is that simple… Otherwise, we will worry much and Jesus said not to so… We end up taking over the decision and just seeking for approval from our Father… The root of all of this is that we want to know what is next and decide to take over the process…We totally forget that only the will of God is what will give us faith, hope and love and much happiness, despite our heavy crosses. Not only that: if we worry about our next step, we gain nothing… And Jesus said so!

Saturday, March 4

My Mother said, “Stop wasting time watching TV if not led by the Spirit. Do it during Lent. The news gets repeated over and over. Try to hear the news only once. Do not worry if you move and how to get rid of so many things in this house and in storage. I will be here to help you.” She is so awesome… And I know that it is she who speaks because I get a deep peace and contentment…

On this same day I heard a 5 minute message by a Monsignor in EWTN/Spanish that he titles: “The difference between two small words.” (La diferencia entre dos palabritas). He said that there is a difference between the words “dentro” (IN) and “fuera” (OUT). IN means the work of the Holy Spirit within us to become disciples (our personal evangelization). OUT means the work of the Holy Spirit for us to become evangelizers. Of course, in both cases, we must remain open to His work since both actions are necessary to be a true Christian.

Then, I received from the Holy Spirit the following message:

The IN work depends on:

1. Careful management of my time on a daily basis so not to waste it.

2. Immediate repentance from actions or thoughts which are not Christian in nature.

3. Showing a grateful attitude 24/7 in all I receive from God, that is, His holy will.

4. A deep prayer life, not consisting in reading prayers only, but in deeply feeling with the prayer words, a longing for Him and His Mother. If not felt, to ask the Holy Spirit to bless me in the way I pray and leading me to establish a true relationship with Jesus. I should be attending Holy Mass as often as possible and for certain, every Sunday and Holydays of obligation. (I used to attend daily Mass for many years until about a year ago when the toxicity around made my knees hurt too much).

5. Receiving on a consistent basis the Sacraments and in a state of grace secured through regular reconciliations.

The OUT work depends on:

Loving my neighbor in all possible ways:

1) Announcing to them with my life the importance of loving God as well as the immense love that He has for all His creatures.

2) Staying away from any resentment against them.

3) Immediate forgiveness when their behavior affects me in a negative way. This section also requires a good examination of conscience to recognize any lack of forgiveness and resentments still present many years after and that have never been dealt with.

4) On a regular basis, to offer up my sufferings for their salvation.

5) Praying for them on a consistent basis. When watching any TV program, whether news, stories or sports, to pray for the people involved and offer for them my present sufferings. In the case of sports, to pray for the entire crowd in the stadium; never to take sides for one team to win against another even when my heart favors one of them (this was explained at the beginning of this blog)…

6) Servicing those who are in need of any help, as best as I can.

Monday, March 6

I am still putting together this blog. I have not felt too good regarding pain in the knees and trying to shop in order to cook a few things for my son. In my case, I only can eat three things: chicken avocado and sweet potatoes. It is hard… Besides, my vision becomes very tired when exposed too long to the glare of the computer’s screen.

By chance and after a program in EWTN, another one came with the life of Pope Paul VI… I was surprised to see how much he suffered… He announced that Satan had come into the Church (this some years after the closure of Vatican II) as many priests and nuns had started to leave. His encyclical with the objection of using contraceptives was not well taken, and it proved to be a true prophetic document.

On this same day, I was moved to seek a particular channel where I used to hear Dr. Oz’s program. The topic: how to de-clutter your home often. One should place some notes every place in our homes saying, “Let go now. Not later.” Let go is for the tendency of not letting go of many things…The person speaking said that we normally save things from family members who passed away. Sometimes, we save things that later cause pain when looked into again. He also said that many things can be taken to a store in consignment if the place is reputable. It can be sold at a garage sale. It can be donated if in good condition, or simply, throw it away. There was the answer for the amount of things I would have to give away or throw away in case we move! Amazing Holy Spirit…

I also heard in this program the fact that a great majority of people check their email server some 30-60 per day! This causes anxiety to our bodies and brains and can really be considered as cluttering our minds.

This fact speaks of how many live totally distracted and could have great difficulty in remembering to be in the presence of God… But later on, I had another shocker of news: on ABC, the program of the View was going on and they were discussing about being a godparent. Some of the female hosts, including Whoopi Goldberg, were sure that if one is an atheist, we still can be a godparent since an atheist can give the child love and guidance to live a clean and fruitful life… I almost lost my hope in this society. These minds were truly cluttered with false ideas. It totally translated to me in my need to suffer for them as I ask for God’s mercy…

Tuesday, March 7

I did do some shopping and it was very hard! I had quite a few things to do in the kitchen… At ALL TIMES, THE QUESTION WAS: “Lord, when are we going to finish the blog?” I was counting with the prayers of some of you. I knew that He was the one detaining the posting of the blog… But why?

Wednesday, March 8

What a day…I was present at the LIVE Mass from EWTN. Then, I switched to EWTN/Spanish and found a priest talking about a broken apart Crucifix… It was like a dialogue between him and Jesus. Jesus did not have the cross behind and some limbs were missing… His face was messed up as well. I felt asleep as always I do while in my room… When I woke up, I was able to see the very end with the name of the program, since more often than not, EWTN/Spanish has listed x program(s) BUT places different one(s)… So, the name of this dialogue was not visible until then… The title was very familiar to me in Spanish: MI CRISTO ROTO. (My fractured or broken Christ). I was sure that God wanted me to wait to finish this blog after viewing parts of this “My broken Christ,”

As I was having breakfast, the Holy Spirit asked me some questions and brought me an idea for this Lent. He said, “How many times have you asked yourself if you have broken the Crucifix apart? Have you left Jesus without one arm, two hands or a broken leg after you have offended Him? For this Lent, every day, pay attention at the times that you disobey Him and His teaching, and look at this Cristo Roto crying for the treatment of His Body by one of His own, you, and much after His enemies killed Him 2000 year ago. Every time that you think poorly of someone in your television set, you have done it to Him… Is He crying? Ask for His forgiveness after you truly repent and ask for His mercy to stop doing it. At night before bed time, ask yourself how many times you have attempted to harm His Body. Repent and try your best on the following day. Pray for those whom you offended even with your thoughts and offer your knee pain for their salvation. In this way, you will start repairing your “Cristo Roto.” (Your broken crucified Christ).

Later on, I checked it in the Internet and I found a summary of Mi Cristo Roto! At the very end, I will leave you with the entire story… I am now super sure that this presentation will become super important for my Lent and yours if you have not read it before. I was able to find a translation in English but it was very poor. This took me a couple of days more to correct but I am super sure that it is worthwhile the late posting of this blog.


We are going through extremely difficult times in the political life of the United States. We are hopefully going to protect the lives of unborn babies who otherwise will become broken “Christ’s” as well. In the other hand, we are breaking the Christ’s that committed a grave fault by coming to this country from the south of the U.S. without having as a reason to be persecuted on any grounds. It was only poverty that made them break the law, and they did break it. As a Hispanic, I must accept that. In the other hand, if we were to accept poverty as a valid reason, this country would have to accept millions of people… And I do not consider this option to be fair for the U.S. either. Yet, they are now being treated inhumanly by separating their families against their will.

In the other hand, we have our parishes extremely busy using human methods to restore the “broken Christ” within many of the souls who attend these parishes. They pray but the will of God is not a priority. Worse, they do not quite know what a relationship with Jesus truly is. In all relationships, we want to make it grow by accepting the changes as required by our elder family members. It is not happening.  Is it their fault? No… It is the fault of all of us, and some of us should truly be undergoing the surgery of spiritual conversion in order to restore these broken Christ’s! We must become witnesses of a true relationship with Jesus, of a true disciple…

As time continues to pass on and the problems after Vatican II (it closed in 1965) still live among us, we continue to multiply our ministries as any worldly human reasoning would do and we continue to experience the lack of a true resurrection in Jesus Christ. Worse, most parishes do not recognize this as a sort of spiritual tragedy.

I AM READY TO PRESENT A CALL FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION. It is to make a decision and repair the brokenness of Christ within ourselves. We do not have to make any particular plan or create another ministry to do so… Everyone who reads this blog is invited to quietly summit to God’s will 24/7, but do it in order to obtain the sanctity required (as our Mother did) to become pregnant DAILY with Christ Who is being repaired by our attitude of complete obedience, without complaints, fears, plans, questions, etc. We should pray at least one Rosary/day for ourselves to restore our broken interior Christ’s with the help our Mother in heaven. We also should embrace our crosses at all cost, crosses of any kind, and accept them with much love because they are part of the restoration of our inner broken Christ.

As He becomes restored, our love for all people, enemies or friends, will be restored… as well. It is like magic. We become His and His love and Mercy comes to reside within us in abundance. It is always there but now it is amazing in the degree that it works in us… I am far from totally restoring my broken Christ but I have to share with you that through the years, He has tested me a lot plus with much suffering, His mercy has been able to send me graces that are restoring my inner broken Christ at a more rapid pace. I am in a phase right now that as shared above, I get surprised by the ways that He moves people around to love me… and they could be perfect strangers or those whom I know. At the same time, I find myself deeply loving strangers when I find them in distress.

If we BECOME A SMALL ARMY in our Catholic Church, which is seeking to embrace our God with all our heart and soul and to glorify Him day and night, God can change the entire world…We will not need books and talks and retreats as we know them… Most of them came to be but without the author saying a big yes nonstop to God’s will in his/her life, and not as lip service only. Instead, many of you, younger generation, will be speaking about your own restorations… In the other hand, the Holy Spirit will come as in a New Pentecost and reach many souls to bring them to you…You do not have to teach people… The Holy Spirit will be the printing press, the voice in television, the center in a parish to guide the masses to LOVE… and of course, He will use you to deliver AND WITNESS the message… The only requirement to repair our broken Christ’s is to do what our Mother did, to say yes to God’s will in order to bring Christ to all peoples, and the Holy Trinity will unify us (gentiles of all religions, atheists, agnostics) and all Jews. We only need to have our candles burning within us with His love and His will, so that we can be the VOICE OF GOD, HIS WITNESSES. Are we ready for His Second Coming?

Note: for all purposes, this is the end of this blog. Please, keep praying for me… My son and I are living a transitional time in our lives… Our place of residence needs to be less toxic. Only God can guide us to everything and your prayer will be so appreciated.  God bless you!






Author: Spanish, Father Ramón Cué S. J  – 1963

This story has been presented by one actor as he speaks with a Broken Crucifix that he bought. This priest acted it himself and later many others have done it.


From today on … I will live with a broken Christ.

I found my broken Christ in Seville. Within art I am subjugated by the subject of Christ on the Cross. I take my preference in the Spanish baroque Christ’s. The last time I went with a good friend of mine.  Christ (what a choice!)  can be found between nuts and nails, rusty scrap, old clothes, shoes, books, broken dolls or romantic lithographs. The thing is to know how to look for it because Christ walks and is among all the things of this unruly and unlikely trace that is Life. 

But that morning we ventured into the house of the artist, it is easier to find the Christ there, but much more expensive! Because it is already an area of ​​antiquarians, it is the Christ with luxury tax, the Christ who has enriched the tourists, because since tourism intensified, Christ is also more expensive.

We visited only two or three shops and as we walked the third or fourth. 

– (The owner) “Ehhmm Do you want something father?” 

– “Just to go around the store, to look, to see.” 

Suddenly … in front of me, lying on a table, I saw a Christ without a cross;
I was going to throw myself on him, but I stopped my impetus.
 I looked at the Christ out of the corner of my eye and he conquered me from the first moment. Of course it was not exactly what I was looking for for it was a broken Christ. But this same circumstance, chained me to Him but I do not know why. I feigned interest first in the objects that surrounded me until my hands took hold of the Christ. I stopped my fingers from caressing him! My eyes had not deceived me… No. It must have been a very beautiful Christ. It was an impressive mutilated spoil. Of course, he did not have a cross, lacked a half-leg, a whole arm, and although he kept his head, he had lost his face. 

The antiquarian (A) came near me, took the broken Christ in his hands and said… “Ohhh, it is a magnificent piece. It looks that you have good taste father; look at his splendid size; what a good bill … 

– I said, “But … it’s so broken, so mutilated!” 

(A) – “It does not matter father; next door there is a magnificent restorer;  he is my friend and is going to leave it like new!” 

He pondered it again, praised it, caressed it in his hands, but … did not caress the Christ; he caressed the merchandise that was going to turn into money.

He insisted, hesitated, paused, looked for the last time at the Christ, pretending that it was difficult to part with him, and gave it to me in a burst of fictitious generosity, saying resigned and in pain: 

(A) –
“Here father, take it, just because it is for you and be sure that I do not win much, 3000 pesetas and nothing else. You will take a jewel!

The seller kept exalting the qualities to maintain the price.
 I, a priest, kept reducing its merit to reduce the value … I suddenly shuddered. We were disputing the price of Christ, as if it were a mere merchandise! And I remembered Judas … Was not that also a sale of Christ? But how many times do we sell and buy Christ, not of wood, but in the flesh of our neighbors! Our life is often a buying and selling of Christ’s. 

Well … we both yielded … and he lowered it to 800 pesetas. Before saying goodbye, I asked him if he knew the origin of the Christ and the reason for those terrible mutilations. In vague and incomplete information he told me that he believed he came from the Sierra de Arasena, and that the mutilations were due to desecration in time of war. 

I squeezed my Christ with love … and left with Him. Finally, at night, I closed the door of my room and I was alone, face to face with my Christ. What a bloodstained mutilated spoil! Seeing him as such,  I decided to ask  him: 

– “Christ, who was the one who dared do it? Did not your hands shake when he chipped yours away from the cross ?! Does he still live? Where? What would he do today if he saw you in my hands? Would he repent?


Jesus (J), "Be quiet!" His sharp voice cut me off. 

(J) “Be quiet, you ask too much! Do you think I have a heart as small and mean as yours?” 

(J) “Be quiet! Do not ask me or think more about who mutilated me, leave him alone. What do you know? Respect him! I already forgave him. I forgot instantly and forever of his sins. When a man repents, I forgive him at once. 


(J) “Be quiet! Why, before my broken limbs, does it not occur to you to remember those who offend, injure, exploit, and maim their brothers, other men? What is a greater sin? To mutilate a wooden image or to mutilate an image of me alive, of flesh, in which I palpitate due to  the grace of baptism. Ohh hypocrites! You tear your robes before the memory of the one who mutilated my wooden image, while you shake hands or honor him who mutilates physically or morally the living Christ’s who are his brothers.” 

I replied: "I cannot see you like that, broken, even if the restorer charges me whatever money to do it! You deserve it! It hurts to see you like this. I’ll take you to the shop tomorrow. " 

“Do not you approve of my plan? Do you really like it? " 

-(J) “NO, I DO NOT LIKE IT!” – The Christ answer was dry and hard. 


There was a pause of silence. An order, sharp as lightning, came to decapitate the anguished silence: 


– “Yes Lord, I promise, I will not restore you.” 

"Thank you,"
answered the Christ.
 His tone gave me confidence again. 

– “Why do not you want me to restore you? I do not understand you. Do not you understand, Lord, that it will give me a continuous pain whenever I look at you broken and mutilated? Do not you understand that it hurts?” 

(J)  “That is what I want, that seeing me broken you always remember so many of your brothers who live with you:
 broken, crushed, indigent, mutilated, without arms because they have no chance of finding a job; without feet because others have closed their roads; faceless, because they have taken their honor away. Everybody forgets them and turn their backs on them. Do not restore me and may be if seeing me like this, you remember them until it hurts you; may be that way, broken and mutilated,  I serve as a key to remember the pain of others! Many Christians turn into devotion, with kisses, lights and flowers over a beautiful Christ, and forget their brothers, the men, the ugly Christ’s, broken and suffering. 

“There are many Christians who calm their consciences by kissing a beautiful Christ, a work of art, while they offend the little Christ of flesh, who is their brother.
 Those kisses disgust me and make me vomit! I tolerate them when placed in my feet of images carved in wood, but they hurt my heart. You have too many beautiful Christ’s! Too many works of art from my crucified image. And you are in danger of remaining only in the work of art. 

“A beautiful Christ can be a dangerous refuge to hide in order to escape the pain of others, while calming down their conscience in a false Christianity.
 That is why they should have more broken Christ’s, one at the entrance of each church, who would always shout with his broken limbs and deformed face, the pain and tragedy of my second passion in my brother men! That’s why I beg you, do not restore me and leave me broken next to you, even if I embitter your life a little.

"Yes, Lord, I promise you," I replied. And a kiss on his only chipped foot was the signature of my promise. From today … I will live with a broken Christ. 


                                   GOD HAS A LEFT HAND


The same afternoon I bought my Christ, I asked the antiquarian where would be his right arm. 

(A) – “Oh, impossible to find! And believe me, we did stir the whole haystack where the mutilated image was thrown. We found, yes, the left leg and we attached it with glue but of the right hand, there was no trace! 

“The antiquarian did not know Lord where your right hand was, but You, You do know that but you are continuously unraveling it and it always escapes you. No, no wonder you do not have it, it walks around, invisible but effective. 

“Who does not feel from time to time, the soft touch of Christ’s sore hand?! That invisible hand that, without knocking at the door it is found everywhere: in the hospital, on the deathbed, in the office, in the study, in the factory, in the cinema, in the theater. It enters tiptoeing like a luminous and musical squall. We cannot take a step through life without tripping over the hand of God. But you, my broken Christ, have only your left hand. 

And I imagined that he said, after feeling that my Christ was smiling quietly: "How little and poor do you know me. What would you men be if I had not my left hand? I have it but not to avoid being crucified, but to stop my father from condemning you. I do not use my left hand to save myself from the cross but to save you from hell! Do you understand now?" 

The whole tragic and divine adventure of our life is in letting ourselves be guided by the hands of God. But there is in us a difficult, elusive, dangerous element: freedom. And God respects her mysteriously, infinitely. 

To conquer us God has two hands, the right and the left that represent two techniques and two tactics. The right hand is clear, open, transparent and luminous. The left hand seeks shortcuts, gives rodeos, is full of calculation, diplomacy, is not in a hurry. If necessary it acts at a distance and pretends to be the voice, but although left, it is not Machiavellian or traitorous because love moves it. 

For every soul God has two hands, but uses them differently because all souls are different. With the right, like white doves or docile sheep,
 God guided John the Evangelist, Francis of Assisi, John of the Cross, Francis Xavier, the two Teresas … 

To conquer Pedro, Pablo, Magdalena, Agustín, Ignacio de Loyola, God had to employ the left.
 In front of the right hand, they rebel; then the left enters, wearing a disguise and turns into lightning, a bullet, tries to be a break to stop us; wants to lift us from the mud in which we fall, enters the chest to see if it manages to soften our hearts. Its resources are infinite; today it disguises it with modern and current methods… It breaks a dam that drags my farms! I have an unexplained oversight at work, and the machine mows my arm. We were driving at 100 per hour and we were unexpectedly driven by a truck.  My wife and son died in the act, and I was left alone in this life. I’ve never had an illness, but the doctor tells me that I have something incurable … 

Before the left hand of God, the first reaction is a cry of rebellion and despair; we forget the prey, the car, the traitor, the death, because we guess that they do not have the definite fault. We sense that God is responsible for that pain and that being so terribly deep, it cannot come from creatures and logically we confront God. We shout at Him, we find h\Him, we protest, we demand of Him, we challenge Him, we condemn Him! "FATHER…! IF YOU WERE FATHER, YOU WOULD NOT TREAT ME LIKE THIS! "We shout, protest, rebel and then … we are left alone. 

And the first nervous and burning tears come, and without realizing it, the first prayer is again to protest against God, against our first prayer … Fatigue arrives, the tears are more serene, we pray without protest, we feel like kissing something, What? Oh yeah, that, we already found it, a Crucifix, and with a kiss we say to God hat it is good whatever He disposes … 

Terrible, violent, hard, relentless, but blessed left hand of God. Absurd expressions are formulated: "Blessed be the dam that broke and destroyed my factory, but it brought me closer to God, and I was walking very far from Him". 

My broken Christ, I tell you in my name and of all because we are all brave to ask you from now on: Lord, if it is not enough the tenderness of your right hand to save us, undo your left, disguise it of whatever you want: failure, slander , ruin, accident, death. Christ, let us be children of your hand, your right or your left. 

At the head of your bed, my friend, or on your bedside table, you have a Christ nailed to the cross. Why don’t you kiss his left hand tonight before you go to sleep? God will know how to compensate you for that gesture of Christian courage and resignation.

A Cross has been lost

Attention! A cross has been lost and we cannot find it. It is that of my broken Christ. Has any of you found a cross? Do you want the signs? The size? It is not very big, but it is a cross and there is no small cross. Besides it is also a cross for Christ and then there is no way to measure it; with these signs suffice because in short all crosses are the same. 

Forgive my insistence, “Which of us has not found a cross?” Better said, “Who does not have a cross? It is an inalienable property right that is always exercised; we all carry it. We carry it on, dragging it even if we do not show it, even under our smile. 

Sometimes when hidden, it is heavier.
 Tonight at bedtime, we will not be able to leave it hanging on the perch. When we wake up tomorrow, we will not need to put it on because we will jump out of bed with her already laid. 
Who has found a cross? Everyone … good and bad, holy and criminal, healthy and sick; it does not even respect those who seem to defy the pain with laughter and revelry of his life.

That poor woman, who, repainted and bored, waits sitting at the cafeteria bar or leaning against the strategic corner, carries a terrifying cross on her back; it weighs so much that she leans back in the corner, a heavier cross than we suspect  And he who approaches her seeking pleasure, does so by fleeing from another cross.
 The two speak, bargain, promise, they manage at last and there they go down the street, in a hurry and with the cross on their back, and when they return, when they have already tried to placate their hunger for happiness, they feel disappointed that their Cross is now greater. In her, disgust and degradation; in him, desolation. 

Every city is definitively a forest, a jungle, a hive of crosses. And do you know, my friend, why sometimes our cross becomes intolerable?
 Do you know why it turns into despair and suicide? Because then our cross, is a single cross without Christ/ It can only be tolerated when it carries a Christ in its arms. 

A secular cross, without blood or love of God, is absurd, it does not make sense, so I have an idea: I have a Christ without a cross and you have, perhaps, a cross without Christ.
 Both are incomplete. My Christ does not rest, because he lacks his cross; you do not accept your cross because you lack Christ. Why do not you give your empty cross to Christ tonight? You have a single cross, empty, frozen, black and which does not make sense. I understand you, to suffer like this is irrational and I do not understand it myself.  How could you tolerate it for so long? You have the remedy in your hands … Go ahead and give me that cross of yours, give it to me and I will give you instead, this Christ without rest and without cross. Take it, it is yours, give Him your cross and take my Christ; Bring them together, bring them down, embrace them, and everything will have changed. 

My broken Christ rests on your cross; your cross becomes softer with my Christ in it.
 We have found a cross, ours, which turns out to be that of Christ …

Who broke Your face?

Christ, I had often heard this threat on lips trembling with hatred: 

"WATCH AND I WILL BREAK YOUR FACE.” And I always thought that everything ends with a punch, a slap, a slash on the cheek. Only in You has literally fulfilled the brutal threat; they have broken your face with a single cut. 

I would have restored it, but He forbade it. That is why I dedicate myself in a game of fantasy and affection, to restore it ideally, placing on its head without factions, the faces that for my Christ, have dreamed the universal art. I include in this game, museums, collections, galleries, cathedrals, art galleries. Everything is going through the face of his face in a slow parade, and I feel like Velázquez or Juan de Meza, with Baroque pathos, or Montañés with Olympic beauty, or Leonardo, of infinite sadness. 

But for a few days, I have also had to renounce the consolation of this game because the broken Christ is terrible in his demand! He does not conceive truces, and he has forbidden me too. I believed at first that he liked it, at least he tolerated it quietly, until one day he severely interrupted me: 

(J) “Enough! Do not put on me more faces. I have tolerated your game for too long. Do not you just understand? Do not put on me those faces that you ask for alms, the art of men. I want to be like this, with no face! You promised that you would never restore me … unless you want to rehearse another game, put on other faces. Those … yes I will accept them.” 

Which Lord? I’ll get them right away. Tell me what faces and put them on. 

(J) – “I’m afraid you do not understand it, even if you become scandalized like the Pharisees … I mean other faces, but real ones, unfeigned like the ones you invented, and who are also mine, like the one who cut me off.

“Ahh,  I guess Lord, you mean the faces of the saints, the apostles, the martyrs …? 

(J) “Those faces are really mine. No one denies them nor haggles. But I want others and I claim them. Very few would dare to put them on, but I do.” 

He rested, as if to gather strength. He took a deep breath. I was scared, I was afraid, but there was no other way. Then he said to me: 

(J) – Hey, do not you have a picture of your enemy out there? Of the one who envies you and does not let you live; the one which misinterprets all your things; the one who always speaks badly of you, who ruined you; the one who gave poor and decisive reports about you, of the traitor who tripped you, the one who he managed to throw you out of the position you had ; the one who denounced you, who put you in jail …” 

 I said, “Christ, do not go on!

(J) it’s too much, right?

I responded,  “It’s inhumane, it’s absurd …” 

(J) "Have you taken a good look at the faces of the lepers, the abnormal, the idiots, the dirty beggars, the imbeciles, the madmen?" 

“Y…? And are you going to tell me Christ, that those faces are yours and … and that I should put them on you? No, no, impossible.” 

(J) – Wait!
 I have not finished yet … Take note of this last list and do not forget any face. You have to put the face of the blasphemer, the suicidal, the degenerate, the thief, the drunkard, the murderer, the criminal, the traitor, the vicious. Have not you heard? I need you to put all those faces on mine!

– …”No, no Lord …” – I answered – “I do not understand anything! All those miserable and corrupt faces on yours, sacred and divine?” 

(J) – “Yes, I want it that way! Do not you see that they all belong to this poor suffering humanity created by my Father? Do not you realize that I have given my life for all? Perhaps now you understand what Redemption was. 

“Listen: I, as the son of God, voluntarily took responsibility for all the errors and sins of mankind. Everything weighed on Me; my Father appeared from the sky to see me on the cross and behold in My face; he fixed his eyes on Me and his amazement was infinite. Over my face, he saw superimposed successively and dizzily the faces of all men. From heaven, during those three terrible hours of my agony on the cross, I beheld the tragic parade of defeated humanity, while I said: 

"Father, forgive them because they do not know what they do!" It was not I who only died on the cross; there were thousands and thousands of mourning human beings, defeated many by their own passions, by their errors, by their sins.
 The parade was terrible, disgusting, rude. My Father saw the face of the proud pass over my face;  he sectarian, imagining the destruction of God; that of the cold and soulless murderer … 

“There were disgusting lips, sunken eyes marked with lust, unbearable breaths of drunkenness, pallor of dawns encased in vice, sordid rictus of bitterness and despair, haunting glances of perversion and crime. All the defeat and the scourges of an unredeemed humanity, the agony, the death.
 And my Father … God, He loved them all and He forgave their sins. " 

My Christ became silent; how poor and ridiculous the art of men seemed to me and how deep and unfathomable the love of God. And from then on, he was speechless. He never spoke to me again. 

Let us never forget this supreme and difficult lesson. Let us never forget the smooth surface of the face of my Christ, cut vertically. We could compare it with an empty frame. In it we are offered the opportunity to place the face of the one or those who have harmed us or hated us deeply, doing us more harm to ourselves than to who is the object of our resentment. 

Yes … yes, let us be brave! Let us remember the face that most hatred and antipathy causes us; let us approach Christ, even though we feel our pulse tremble. Let us place it on HHis own and imagine that our enemy, that being we hate, occupies his place on the cross. Let us close our eyes, let us approach the crucified one, and kiss his reverent and humble figure. 

By kissing a Christ, with the face of our enemy, we will be surrounded by a warm and musical, paternal and kind voice.
 That which many centuries ago will leave us the greatest and wonderful inheritance that any man can have, enclosed in only six simple words: 
"Love one another".
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